Chiyembekezo cha chibwenzi chatsopano chimatisangalatsa ndi kutikopa ndi kusinthasintha kwake kosalekeza. Pa nthawi yosangalatsa gawo loyamba la ubale watsopano, mutha kukhulupirira kuti "mwachimwemwe mpaka kalekale" sikutali kwambiri. Ndinu tsopano banja latsopanolo, ndipo ndinu otsimikiza kuti mwatenganso mutu wa "banja labwino kwambiri" komanso. Koma kuganiza zokhala m'chikondi ndi kukhalabe m'chikondi kwamuyaya nthawi zambiri zimakhala zinthu ziwiri zosiyana, monga mudzazindikira posachedwa.
Kukhalabe m'chikondi kwamuyaya sikufanana ndi zomwe mafilimu amapangira. M'moyo weniweni, okondana awiri omwe adawoloka nyenyezi sangathe kutha nthawi zonse. Chochitika chovomerezeka "chokumananso" mumvula chidzakusiyani awiri mukugwira chimfine tsiku lotsatira.
Kodi chikondi ndi chokhacho chomwe chimafunika kuti munthu akhalebe m'chikondi kwamuyaya kapena n'chovuta kwambiri kuposa pamenepo? Mothandizidwa ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Juhi Pandey (MA Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri pa nkhani ya chibwenzi, uphungu wa ukwati musanakwatirane komanso kusudzulana, tikukubweretserani makiyi 8 okuthandizani kukhalabe m'chikondi kwamuyaya.
Makiyi 8 Oti Mukhalebe M'chikondi Kwamuyaya
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Pakati pa mndandanda wa zinthu zodula kwambiri padziko lapansi zomwe zimapangitsa anthu kupita "Aww!", Mabanja akale omwe adakali m'chikondi amakhala pamwamba apo. Koma monga angakuuzeni, kukondana ndi kukhalabe m’chikondi ndi zinthu ziwiri zosiyana kotheratu. Nkosavuta kuganiza kuti mudzakhala osangalala nthawi zonse ndi mnzanuyo pamene kutengeka mtima kwakugwirani.
"Ubale wathu unayamba ndi phokoso lalikulu. Unali wolimba, wolimbikitsidwa ndi chilakolako ndi ubwenzi. Sitinadzidere nkhawa ndi zinthu monga momwe tingakhalire mu chikondi kwamuyaya ndipo tinaganiza kuti mphamvu imeneyi yomwe inali pakati pathu idzapitirirabe kutero. Koma pamene miyezi inayi yapita, chilakolako chinatha, mphamvuyo inatha, ndipo kusakhulupirika kunali msomali womaliza m'bokosi," Jessica anatiuza, ponena za ubale wake wa karmic womwe unkaoneka ngati ungapirire mayeso a nthawi.
Mukakhala pakati pa ubale watsopano, kuyesera kuganiza za momwe mungakhalirebe m'chikondi kosatha kumawoneka ngati kopanda pake chifukwa mumaona kuti mukufuna kukhala ndi munthu uyu nthawi zonse. Zokambirana za zomwe zili bwino ndi zomwe sizichitika kawirikawiri, popeza sizomwe ma romcom amatiuza kuti chikondi chimawonekera.
Malinga ndi kafukufuku , pafupifupi 70% ya okwatirana sanakambiranepo za kusakhulupirika muukwati wawo. Mwina sanamvepo kufunika kochita zimenezo, zomwe zingangowakwiyitsa mtsogolo. Mfundo ndi yakuti, ubale womwe umakhalapo kwamuyaya sufanana ndi umene takhala tikuuwonetsa kwa moyo wathu wonse.
Ubwenzi weniweni wachikondi umafuna ntchito yambiri kuposa kukumbatirana nthawi zina mvula yomwe imakonza chilichonse m'mafilimu. Kukhalabe m'chikondi ndi mnzanu si chinthu chomwe chimachitika chokha , koma ndi chinthu chomwe mumayesetsa kuchita tsiku lililonse. Monga momwe kukwatira mkazi mmodzi ndi chisankho chomwe mumasankha tsiku lililonse.
Ngati mukufuna kuonetsetsa kuti mukukalamba ndi munthu amene mumamukonda, pali zambiri zomwe mungachite kuti ubale wanu ukhale wachikondi komanso wosangalatsa. Kukhalabe m'chikondi sikudalira momwe mumakondera mnzanu, koma kumadalira momwe mumathetsera mavuto omwe mumakumana nawo muubwenzi .
Ndipo ayi, chifukwa chakuti mwasankha kukhalabe m'chikondi ndi munthu mmodzi kwamuyaya, sizikutanthauza kuti mudzamva chikondi chomwecho kwa iwo tsiku lililonse. Pambuyo pa mikangano yonyansayi, padzakhala masiku omwe simudzafuna kuyang'ana wokondedwa wanu. Kuonetsetsa kuti mikangano ingapo isasokoneze chikondi, tiyeni tilowe mu mfundo 8 zomwe talemba kuti zikuthandizeni kudziwa momwe mungakhalirebe m'chikondi ndi munthu:
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Chinsinsi cha Momwe Chithandizo Chamalonda Chimathandizira Okwatirana Kukhalabe Okondana
1. Kulemekezana
Juhi anati: “Kulemekezana n’kofunika kwambiri pa ubwenzi uliwonse. Mukangoyamba kukhalira limodzi, mikangano imayamba kuonekera. Kodi mumaona bwanji kusiyana kumeneku, kapena chikhulupiriro chimene mnzanuyo ali nacho, n’chimene chimasonyeza ubwenzi.
Zizindikiro za kusowa ulemu muubwenzi ziyenera kuthetsedwa nthawi yomweyo. Ngati vutoli likuipiraipira, mutha kudzimva kuti simukuyamikiridwa komanso kunyozedwa nthawi iliyonse pamene maganizo anu sakuganiziridwa ngakhale pang'ono. Ngati pangakhale mfundo imodzi yoti musankhe yankho la momwe mungakhalire mu chikondi kwamuyaya, mwina zingakhale kukhazikitsa ulemu pakati panu. Zinthu zosavuta monga kupangitsa mnzanu kumva kuti akukumverani komanso osamudula akamalankhula nanu zingathandize kwambiri.
2. Pitirizani kuthandiza okondedwa wanu pa sitepe iliyonse
Malinga ndi Juhi, kusowa thandizo ndi dandaulo lomwe amakumana nalo akamalangiza maanja. "Thandizo ndilomwe limapangitsa kuti ubale ukhale wolimba. Kupanda chithandizo chamaganizo kapena ngakhale chakuthupi ponena za okondedwa omwe sathandiza nawo ntchito zapakhomo kumabweretsa mikangano yambiri. Thandizo m'mbali zonse za moyo ndi lofunika kwambiri, makamaka m'nthawi ino pamene amayi ndi abambo onse ali ndi ntchito zawo zantchito kuti asamalire," akuwonjezera.
Ngati mnzanu akutenga vuto lina, onetsetsani kuti sadzimva kuti ali yekha. Chilichonse chomwe moyo umakuponyerani, nonse awiri muyenera kuthana nazo ngati gulu. Sungani malingaliro a "munthu aliyense payekha" pamasewera usiku, osati ubale wonse.
Ubale womwe umakhalapo kwamuyaya umatero mothandizidwa ndi chithandizo chosagwedezeka. Pamene mukukumana ndi zovuta, kodi mungayembekezere kuti wokondedwa wanu akuthandizeni ngati mukufuna thandizo? Kodi bwenzi lanu ndi munthu woyamba amene mumamuimbira nthawi iliyonse mukafuna thandizo?
Makhalidwe achikondi monga kubweretsera mnzanu chakudya chomwe amakonda kwambiri akakhumudwa kapena kungokhalapo kuti amve bwino, zonsezi zingathandize mnzanuyo kumva kuti ndi wofunika. Muthanso kusonyeza chikondi kudzera m'mauthenga potumiza uthenga wokongola apa ndi apo. PS: kupha akangaude chifukwa cha mnzanu sikutanthauza kuti ndi chithandizo. Komabe, zidzapangitsa kuti kukhalabe m'chikondi kukhale kosavuta!
3. Kuwonetsa chidwi kwa wokondedwa wanu
Moyo ukakhala pachimake ndi ntchito ndi maudindo ena omwe ali pachimake, kukhala ndi nthawi yabwino ndi mnzanu kumatha kukhala kumbuyo. Popanda kukhala ndi chidwi chogawana, nonse awiri mutha kungokhala anzanu apanyumba okhala limodzi. Kukulitsa zokonda zanthawi zonse kapena kufufuza zomwe mungathe kuchita ngati banja kungapangitse kukhalabe m'chikondi kosatha kukhala kosangalatsa kwambiri kuposa kungolankhula momwe tsiku lanu lakhalira chakudya chamadzulo.
Juhi anati, “Kusonyeza chidwi n’kofunika. Kumachititsa munthuyo kumva kuti ndi wotetezeka komanso wokondedwa. Ngati simuchita zinthu zatsopano limodzi, zimapangitsa kuti ubalewo ukhale wosasangalatsa. Zimenezi zimabweretsa kutopa muubwenzi , zomwe pamapeto pake zimapangitsa kuti munthu asakhale ndi chimwemwe.”
Kaya mukuyesera kuti mukhalebe pachibwenzi ndi chibwenzi chanu kapena chibwenzi chanu, musaiwale kuti nthawi zonse mumayesetsa kumudziwa bwino munthuyo. Ziribe kanthu ngati muli zaka khumi muubwenzi wanu, muyenera kuyesa kufunsa mafunso oyenerera omwe amakupatsani mayankho osangalatsa kuti akupatseni chidziwitso chomwe simunakhale nacho.
M’kupita kwa nthawi, zinthu zimene mumakonda zingasinthe kapena mukhoza kusiya kuchita zinthu zimene mumakonda. Ntchito yolima pakhonde lanu ikhoza kusiyidwa, mausiku a kanema ochepa komanso apakati. Nayi chosangalatsa chomwe sichiyenera kukhala chovutirapo: mwina yesani kulawa vinyo. Kumbukirani, kumatchedwa kulawa vinyo, osati kumwa vinyo.
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4. Perekani mwa apo ndi apo Lamlungu kwa wokondedwa wanu
Sizophweka nthawi zonse kudzimana nthawi yanu, koma ngati mnzanu akufuna kuti mukhalepo, simuyenera kuganiza kawiri musanasiye mapulani anu oti mukhale pabedi tsiku lonse. "Kudzipereka muubwenzi kwakhala nkhani yovuta kwambiri. Ndikuganiza kuti, munthu ayenera kudzimana kuti ubwenzi upitirire koma chofunika kwambiri ndichakuti ukhale wogwirizana. Ukachita bwino, ndi chimodzi mwazofunikira kwambiri paubwenzi uliwonse ," akutero Juhi.
Kukhalabe m'chikondi kwamuyaya ndizokhudza yemwe amasiya chidutswa chomaliza cha brownie chomwe chatsala mu furiji. Ngati ndinu nthawi zonse amene akupereka, komabe, onetsetsani kuti mnzanuyo akudziwa kuti mukuyembekezera nsembe zina kuchokera kumapeto kwawo. “Pamene kudzimana kumagwirizana, kumapangitsa unansiwo kukhala wolimba, wathanzi, ndi wokhalitsa,” akuwonjezera motero Juhi.
“Nthaŵi zonse pamene wina andifunsa kuti ukwati wanga wakhala bwanji kwa zaka pafupifupi 57, ndimawauza ngati mukufuna kukhalabe m’chikondi ndi mwamuna wanu, kusiya chikolecho ndi kuyesa kuchita zinthu kuti muwone akumwetulira.
5. Chenjerani ndi ziyembekezo zomwe sizingatheke
"Kukhalabe m'chikondi" tanthauzo lingakhale lophweka monga kuonetsetsa kuti mulibe zoyembekeza zosayembekezereka kuchokera kwa wokondedwa wanu. “Ziyembekezo zazikulu mosayembekezereka m’mbali iliyonse ya moyo n’zopanda thanzi ndipo zimachititsa munthu kukhala wopanda chimwemwe.” Mwachitsanzo, talingalirani za moyo wanu wantchito.
"Ndi chimodzimodzi ndi maubwenzi. Ndizachibadwa kukhala ndi ziyembekezo zina ngati mumakonda winawake. Koma ziyembekezo zapamwamba kwambiri kapena zosatheka zidzatsogolera ku kusasangalala ndi ubale woipa. Munthu ayenera kugwiritsa ntchito nzeru zake kuti alembe malire ndikudziwa momwe angachitire ndi ziyembekezo zaubwenzi ," akuwonjezera.
Kodi mumayembekezera kuti mnzanuyo aziwerenga malingaliro anu nthawi iliyonse yomwe mwakhumudwa? Akakufunsa zomwe zidachitika, simungayembekezere kuti kukhala chete kwanu kufotokoze zomwe ayenera kudziwa. Kapena mwinamwake mmodzi wa inu amayembekezera zizindikiro zazikulu zachikondi, pamene winayo amathamangira kutali ndi manja achikondi.
Mukafuna kukhalabe m'chikondi ndi munthu m'modzi kwamuyaya, musalole kusakhutira kwachete kwa ziyembekezo zosakwaniritsidwa kupitirire mumlengalenga. Njira yokhayo yophera njovu m'chipindamo ndikuyilankhula. Ngati mukufuna kuti wokondedwa wanu akupezereni cheesecake modzidzimutsa nthawi ndi nthawi, muwadziwitse. Ngati mukufuna kuti akuuzeni kuti amakukondani pafupipafupi, adziwitseni. Kuzindikira momwe mungakhalirebe m'chikondi kosatha nthawi zambiri kumakhala kosavuta monga kudziwa momwe mungalankhulire bwino.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Makhalidwe 12 a Ukwati Wopambana
6. Kuthetsa kusamvana mwauchikulire
“Monga kusiyana, mikangano ndi gawo la ubale uliwonse,” akutero Juhi, “Chofunika kwambiri ndi kuthekera kothetsa mikangano mwauchikulire , ndipo zimenezo zimachokera ku ulemu pakati pa awiri mu ubale. Muyenera kusonyeza ulemu ndi kulemekeza kusagwirizana komwe kumachitika mu ubale wanu. Njira yokhayo yothetsera mikangano ndi kukhala aulemu.”
Pambuyo pa ndewu zonyansa, zingakhale zosavuta kulola malingaliro anu kulamulira ndi kunena zinthu mu kutentha kwa mphindi zomwe munganong'oneze nazo bondo pambuyo pake. Maluwa khumi ndi awiri ndi kupukuta pambuyo pake, udani ukhoza kugwedezeka koma kukumbukira ndemanga zopweteka sikudzatero. Mukafuna kukhalabe m'chikondi ndi wokondedwa wanu, zingawoneke ngati mikangano ndiyo yoyipa yomwe muyenera kupewa.
Koma popeza ubwenzi wopanda ndewu kulibe, chofunika n’kuonetsetsa kuti nonse muli okhoza kuthetsa kusamvana kwanu mokhwima. Pamene kulemekezana kumapezekadi muubwenzi uliwonse, kuthetsa kusamvana kudzakhalanso kosavuta. Kukhalabe m’chikondi ndiko kusankha, ndipo kumayesedwadi pamene ndewu zoipitsitsa zikachitika. Chofunika kwambiri ndi momwe mungawathetsere.
7. Uzani wokondedwa wanu kuti mumamukonda
“Ngati malingaliro abwino, ulemu, ulemu, ndi chichirikizo zonse zikhazikika, zinthu zina zimangochitika zokha,” akutero Juhi, ponena za mmene kulili kofunika kusonyeza chikondi chanu kwa mnzanuyo.
“Ngati ukufuna kukhalabe m’chikondi ndi bwenzi lako ndipo ukufuna kuti azikukondabe, umuuze kuti umam’konda kwambiri kuposa mmene umaganizira.” Amuna nthaŵi zambiri sauza mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo mmene amafunikira kuwatsimikizira. khumi.
Kuuza mnzanu kuti mumamukonda nthawi iliyonse ndi njira yabwino yosonyezera chikondi . Pamene zaka zikupita muubwenzi, mutha kusiya njira zokongola zomwe nonse awiri mumasonyezerana chikondi. Chikondi chidzakhala chochepa chifukwa mumakhutira ndi momwe zinthu zilili ndipo simukuwona kufunika kochita khama kuti chikhale chabwino.
Komabe, kugwa m’chikondi ndi kukhalabe m’chikondi, kukhala wachikondi ndi wokondana ndi wokondedwa wanu ndizochitika zamoyo zonse, osati zimene munkachita mutangoyamba kutuluka. Musalole monotony mu chibwenzi kulamula kuti kangati mumadabwa kukumbatira wokondedwa wanu.
8. Musamatenge chibwenzicho mopepuka
“Ubwenzi wabwino ndi umene umapangitsa munthu kukhala wachimwemwe ndi wathanzi,” akutero Juhi, “mungakhale ndi mavuto ambiri m’moyo koma unansi wabwino ungakuthandizeni kukhala womasuka.” Ngati palibe ubwenzi wokhutiritsa, chirichonse chimayenda m’malo mwake.
Kutenga chibwenzi mopepuka kungachitike pakapita nthawi pamene okwatirana ayamba kuganiza kuti palibe ntchito ina yofunika kuigwira. Poyesa kupeza momwe mungapitirizire kukondana ndi munthu wina, yankho likhoza kukhala lakuti chibwenzi chimafuna chisamaliro ndi ntchito nthawi zonse.
Kaya mukuyesera kukhalabe m'chikondi ndi mwamuna wanu kapena mkazi wanu, muyenera kuwonetsetsa kuti pali kuyesetsa kofanana kuchokera mbali zonse ziwiri. Chifukwa chakuti muli omasuka mokwanira kutulutsa ziphuphu zakumbuyo za wina ndi mzake sizikutanthauza kuti simungakhale okondana.
Kugwa m'chikondi ndi munthu nthawi zambiri ndi chinthu chomwe chimachitika mwachibadwa, zomwe simungathe kuzilamulira. Kukhalabe m'chikondi ndi chisankho chomwe chimakhudzidwa ndi kuchuluka kwa ntchito zomwe mukufuna kuchita muubwenzi. Kuti muwonetsetse kuti mukukhalabe m'chikondi kwamuyaya, makiyi 8 awa omwe atchulidwa ndi katswiri wathu Juhi Pandey adzakuthandizani kukwaniritsa zolinga zanu zaubwenzi, kuti mutha kuwawonetsa pazama media anu ndikupangitsa maanja ena kuchitira nsanje.
Ibibazo
Inde, n'zotheka kukhalabe m'chikondi ndi munthu kwamuyaya. Koma ndikofunikira kudziwa kuti mtundu wa chikondi chomwe mumamva kwa munthu umasintha kuchoka pa chilakolako champhamvu komanso champhamvu kupita ku chinthu chomasuka kwambiri chomwe chimayang'ana pa chifundo ndi chifundo. Kuti mukhalebe m'chikondi ndi munthu kwamuyaya, muyenera kutsatira mfundo zonse zofunika pakumanga ubale wabwino ndi munthu.
Mwina njira yokhayo yokhalirabe m’chikondi ndi munthu kwamuyaya ndiyo kusankha kutero. Ngati chibwenzi chanu sichikuwononga thanzi lanu lamalingaliro kapena thupi, ndipo mumadzuka tsiku lililonse ndikusankha kukhala wachifundo, wachikondi ndi wachikondi kwa wokondedwa wanu, mumasankha kukhalabe m'chikondi.
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