Indlela yokufumana enye: Iingcebiso ezili-13 ezavavanywayo nezivavanyiweyo

Uyifumana njani eneneni? Umnqweno wokuba naloo mntu ukhethekileyo wokwabelana naye ngobomi bakho, olo nxibelelwano lomphefumlo, umntu onokuthi uzityand’ igila kuye kwaye uthethe ngezinto ezingenamsebenzi kubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla uye waphembelela ukuthanda izinto zothando ixesha elide njengoko umntu enokukhumbula. Ke, akumangalisi ukuba nakulo mhla kunye neminyaka yoqhagamshelo olukhawulezileyo oluququzelelwa ngokuswayipha kwiscreen, uzifumana ufuna olo nxibelelwano lukhethekileyo onokuthi uludale kuphela xa ufumene lowo ungenakuphila ngaphandle kwayo.

Enyanisweni, bekungayi kuba ukufikelela ukuthetha ukuba ukudinwa kunye nokungabinamvakalelo ngokweemvakalelo eziziswe namhlanje ukuthandana yenze umnqweno ukudibana nomntu okhethekileyo kunye nokwakha uxhulumaniso oluhlala kunye nabo lomelele kunangaphambili. Kodwa yonke into eqhelekileyo yokuthandana kunye ne-roller coaster yoqhagamshelo olukhawulezayo olukhawulezayo lunokushiya umntu othandabuzayo malunga namathemba abo. Mhlawumbi, inxalenye yakho iyazibuza, "Ngaba ndiya kuze ndiyifumane?"

Ewe, unako kwaye uya kwenza. Silapha ukukunceda kolu hambo, olubandakanya ukuba yinguqulelo yakho ekufaneleyo lowo uvuyayo ngokwabelana naye ngobomi bakho kunye nokujonga kwiindawo ezifanelekileyo kwaye uvule intliziyo nengqondo yakho ukuze ungaphoswa yimiqondiso yokuqala oyifumeneyo.

Kuthetha Ukuthini UkuFumana Lowo?

Kuthetha ukuthini ukufumana enye? Kwaye wazi njani ukuba ngubani? Ukuze ukwazi ukuphendula le mibuzo ngokuchanekileyo, kufuneka uqale uchaze eyona ntsingiselo ibalulekileyo kuwe. Oku kubalulekile kuba, kwinkcubeko edumileyo, sihlala sibona iiromcoms kunye neentsomi zibonakalisa umbono “womnye” njengomntu ongenasiphako, ogqibeleleyo womphefumlo ojonga zonke iibhokisi. Kodwa kubomi bokwenyani, ubudlelwane bothando bunzima ngakumbi kwaye bunzima.

Fumana intsingiselo enye ayijongi imfezeko, kodwa ukufumana umntu oziva ngathi uphelele kuwe. Ngelixa inkcazo yokuhlangana nomntu ofanelekileyo inokwahluka kubantu abahlukeneyo, iyancipha ngokubanzi ekufumaneni umntu othi:

• Wabelana ngexabiso lakho
• Ixhasa amandla akho kunye nobuthathaka bakho
• Uyakwamkela kuko konke ukungafezeki kwakho
• Yakha ubunzulu unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo kunye
• Fumana ukuhambelana kunye nokuqonda okufanayo kunye
• Uba ngumhlobo wakho, isithandwa kunye neqabane
• Unokuzibona uchitha ubomi bakho kunye

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Iingcebiso ezili-13 zazanywa kwaye zavavanywa ukuFumana Lowo

Ukudibana nothando lobomi bakho kwaye ufumane ukonwaba kwakho ngonaphakade. Ukudibana nomntu ofanelekileyo owenza ubomi bakho buqaqambe ngokuba kuyo nje. Ukuthandana kunye nokufumana lowo ngoko nangoko. Zonke ezi ziingcinga ezinqwenelekayo esihlala sithetha ngazo njengoko siqalisa umzamo wokufumana iqabane ubomi bethu bonke, umntu esinokubelana naye ngaye. unxibelelwano lomphefumlo kunye. Emva koko, ubomi buyenzeka kwaye businika isheke sokwenyani.

Ukudinwa ukuswayipha kwi ukuthandana apps. Intliziyo ebuhlungu. Ubudlelwane obungonwabanga. Ezo ngcamango ziyagungqiswa. Kwaye uzifumana uzibuza, "Ngaba kunqabile ukufumana enye? Ngaba ndiya kuze ndiyifumane?" Akukhathaliseki ukuba lunjani uhambo lwakho ukuza kuthi ga ngoku, ukuba ufuna ukufumana uthando lwanaphakade kunye neqabane lakho lomphefumlo lokwenyani, silapha ukukukhokela ekufuneni kwakho. Makhe sijonge iingcebiso ezili-13 ezavavanywayo ezinokukunceda ufumane enye kwaye uguqule uhambo lwakho lothando:

1. Zazi ngokwakho kwinqanaba elinzulu

Wazi njani ukuba ngubani? Uyifumana njani eneneni? Unokuba namathemba akho othando kunye nomdla engqondweni ngelixa uzama ukusombulula ezi mfihlakalo, nangona kunjalo, impendulo ilele ngaphakathi. Ukufumana i iqabane elifanelekileyo kwaye udale ubomi obunelisayo bothando, kufuneka uziqonde kwinqanaba elinzulu.

Kuya kufuneka uthathe ixesha lokuhlola iminqweno yakho, iimfuno kunye neenqobo ezisemgangathweni. Kuphela ke unokufumana iqabane elikuphelelisa ngokugqibeleleyo. Nazi iindlela ezilula nezisebenzayo zokuzihlola eziya kukuthatha usondele ekufumaneni iqabane lakho elifanelekileyo:

• Thatha ipeni kunye nephepha, okanye sebenzisa i-app yejenali, ukukhupha ingqondo yakho kwaye uveze iingcinga zakho. Bhala malunga namaphupha akho, ulangazelelo, kunye nobomi obufanelekileyo bothando
• Yenza ibhodi umbono ubomi bakho ukuthandana. Qokelela imifanekiso, iikowuti, kunye namagama ahambelana nobudlelwane obufunayo. Bandakanya imisebenzi owonwabileyo kunye neendawo ofuna ukuzihlola kunye neqabane lakho elizayo. Olu phawu olubonakalayo luya kugcina iimfuno zakho zigxile kwaye zikukhuthaze ukuba uzibonakalise
• Beka bucala ixesha elithile elizolileyo lokucinga, uzivumele ukuba ubekho kwaye ucamngce ngobomi bakho bothando. Gxila kwiingcamango neemvakalelo zakho ezingaphakathi, uze ujonge oko kuvelayo. Olu qheliselo lunokukunceda ukuba ufumane ingcaciso malunga nokuba uphi kuhambo lwakho lothando kunye nokuba ufuna ntoni ngokunyanisekileyo kwiqabane

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2. Chaza iqabane lakho elifanelekileyo (ngokucacileyo)

Ngaba uyakhumbula iintsuku zakudala xa umhlobo wakho osenyongweni ekubuza, "Ungayichaza njani intombi yakho yamaphupha?" okanye “Uya kuthandana nomfana onjani?” Kuyavela ukuba, ukuchaza iqabane lakho elifanelekileyo ngokucacileyo kubaluleke ngokwenene xa ukukhetha iqabane lakho lobomi. Ke, thatha ixesha lokubonisa kwaye wenze uluhlu lweempawu kunye neempawu ozinqwenelayo kwiqabane. Zama la macebiso:

• Yenza uluhlu lweempawu ozixabisayo kwiqabane. Cinga ngeempawu ezibalulekileyo kuwe - ezi zinokuba yiyo nantoni na ukusuka kububele ukuya ekunyanisekeni, amabhongo, uburharha, okanye izinto esinomdla kuzo.
• Xa ucinga ngeeflegi eziluhlaza, kubalulekile ukwenza uluhlu lweeflegi ezibomvu okanye imikhwa ongayifuniyo kwiqabane lakho elifanelekileyo.
• Cinga ngohlobo lothando olufunayo. Chaza izinto zakho ezingaxoxisiyo xa kufikwa kwizinto ekufuneka uzijonge kubudlelwane. Umzekelo, ngaba ufuna i-adventure kunye nolonwabo, okanye ngaba unomdla wokuphila kancinci?
• Cinga ngamava akho exesha elidlulileyo, yintoni esebenzayo kunye nengazange isebenze. Oku kucamngca kuya kukunceda ufumane ingcaciso yokuba ngubani oza kuba ngumntu wakho ofezekileyo

3. Gxininisa ekubeni lolona guqulelo lungcono lwesiqu sakho

Ngaphambi kokuba usebenzele ukudibana nomntu okhethekileyo, zenze ukufanelekele ukuba ngowomnye umntu. Yenza umsebenzi wokubethelela ulwazi malunga neepatheni zakho zokucinga, iinkqubo zenkolelo, ukungafezeki, kunye neentsilelo, kwaye uthathe amanyathelo okulungisa ukulungisa nantoni na ekuthintela amandla akho okuvula intliziyo yakho kunye nobomi bakho kuthando lokwenyani.

Ukutshintsha iipateni ezingafanelekanga ngezempilo akukubekeli nje kwindawo engcono yokufumana iqabane elilungileyo kodwa kukwenza ukwazi ukwakha ubudlelwane obuphilileyo nabo. Ke, gxila ekubeni ube yeyona nguqulelo ilungileyo kuwe ukuba ufuna ukufumana lowo usebudlelwaneni.

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4. Musa ukwenza ngenxa yokuphelelwa lithemba

"Kutheni ndingakwazi ukufumana indlela yokufumana umphefumlo wam?" "Ngaba ndiya kuze ndiyifumane okanye ndiphele ndedwa?" Iingcamango ezifana nalezi zibonakalisa ukuba ufuna ukudibanisa nomnye umntu kwindawo yokuphelelwa lithemba kunye nesidingo - kwaye ayithandeki. Mhlawumbi, bonke abahlobo bakho bakubudlelwane obuzinzile, obuzibophelele, kwaye kufuneka ilungiswe kuluvo lokuba, nawe, kufuneka ufumane umntu omnye onokwabelana naye ngobomi bakho. (Khumbula uRajesh Koothrappali osuka Ingcingane ekulu kakhulu, nesigqibo sakhe sokucela abazali bakhe ukuba bamhlalise nentombazana kuba bonke abahlobo bakhe babetshatile. Kwaye kwavuthuza njani oko ebusweni bakhe.)

Mhlawumbi uyazi kakuhle ukuba iwotshi yebhayoloji iyaphawula, kwaye ufuna nje ukufumana uMnu/Ms. Kanye phambi kokuba kube kade kakhulu. Nangona kunjalo, ezi ayizozizathu ezifanelekileyo zokufuna iqabane. Kufuneka ube nomntu kuba awukwazi ukucinga ukuphila ubomi bakho nangayiphi na enye indlela, ungajongi ibhokisi yoluhlu lwezinto oza kuzenza ebomini.

Xa usenza le yokugqibela, ikuzalisa ngemvakalelo yokuphelelwa lithemba, nto leyo ekwenza ubambelele kwaye uzinze kumntu wokuqala ohambelanayo ozayo. Oku, kukugcina ubambeke kumzila wobudlelwane obungaphumeleliyo, ukushiya uzibuza, "Ngaba kunqabile ukuba ndifumane enye?

5. Zenze wonwabe kwaye uya kutsala uthando

Ngaba wakha waqaphela abo bantu babonakalisa ulonwabo? Banalo umtsalane wamagnetic obenza kube lula ukumthanda kwaye gcina intlantsi iphila. Ewe, nantsi imfihlo encinci: ukufumana uthando lokwenyani kuqala ngokufumana ulonwabo ngaphakathi kuwe. Kufana namandla amakhulu atsalela uthando ebomini bakho.

Xa ubeka phambili ulonwabo lwakho kwaye uzikhathalele, awuthinteki ngeyona ndlela ilungileyo. Ngoko, qhubeka wenze izinto ezikuvuyisayo. Landela iminqweno yakho kwaye ujikeleze nge-positivity. Lowo ulungiselelwe wena uya kufumana indlela eya kuwe.

6. Yiba nokholo lokuba uthando lwakho lokwenene luya kukufumana

Kungokwemvelo ukuziva ulusizi xa ubusenza umgudu wokufumana uthando lokwenene ngaphandle kokubona iziphumo ozinqwenelayo. Kodwa zama ukungahlali ucinga ngezinto ezinje, “Ngaba ndiya kuze ndilufumane uthando lokwenene?” Endaweni yoko, hlala unethemba lokuba umntu ofanelekileyo uza kuza ebomini bakho ngexesha elifanelekileyo.

Thembela kumandla e-positivity kwaye ukholelwe ukuba indalo iphela inesicwangciso sakho. Inyathelo ngalinye olithathayo - nokuba alikukhokeli ngokuthe ngqo kuthando lwakho lokwenyani - likusondeza kubo. Ke ngoko, yiba nokholo olungagungqiyo kuhambo lwakho kwaye uqhubeke ukhangela ngentliziyo enethemba. Khumbula, xa utyala ukholo oluninzi kukhangelo lwakho lothando lokwenyani, wongeza amathuba okufumana owakho unxibelelwano lomphefumlo.

7. Vula amava amatsha

Yamkela amaxesha angalindelekanga anokuthi akhokelele kwinto ekhethekileyo, nokuba kukuqalisa incoko nomntu okwivenkile yekofu (kungakhokelela kwabanye. imihla yekofu enkulu), ukunxulumana nomntu kwitheko lokuzonwabisa, okanye kwanokudibanela nomntu othile ngoxa useluhambeni. Awunakwazi ukuba nini kwaye phi ungadibana neyakho.

Phuma kwindawo yakho yokuthuthuzela, zama imisebenzi emitsha, okanye ujoyine uluntu oluhambelana nomdla wakho. Oku kunokukunceda ukuba udibane nabantu abanengqondo efanayo abanokuthi babe “nguye”. Nanga amacebiso ambalwa:

• Thatha into entsha oyithandayo, yiya kucweyo okanye isemina, okanye ivolontiya ngesizathu okholelwa kuso. Oku kuya kukwazisa kuluhlu lwabantu abohlukeneyo, kwandisa amathuba akho okufumana iqabane elihambelanayo.
• Jonga amaqonga e-intanethi, iiforam, okanye amaqela eendaba ezentlalo anikezelwe kwizihloko okanye imisebenzi oyithandayo
• Hlala ujonge iminyhadala yasekuhlaleni, iminyhadala, okanye iindibano ezihambelana nezinto ozonwabisa ngazo okanye iinqobo ezisemgangathweni. Ezi ziganeko zihlala zitsala abantu abanomdla ofanayo, ukubonelela ngendawo ekhululekile kwaye eyonwabisayo yokudibana naloo mntu ufezekileyo

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8. Thetha nabahlobo bakho kunye nosapho lwakho

Khumbula ukuba umama wakho wayesazi njani ukuba isoka lakho lesikolo samabanga aphakamileyo liyakuqhatha kwaye likuphule intliziyo? Ngaba uyamkhumbula umhlobo wakho osenyongweni ekuxelela ukuba laa mfo ulunge kangakanani kuwe? Ngokunyaniseka, ngubani onokunceda ngaphezu kwabantu abakuthandayo, abakwaziyo nabakukhathalele ngokunzulu?

Ukuba ukuthandana nokufumana engazange isebenze kuwe ukuza kuthi ga ngoku, qhubeka ubabuze iingcebiso ngohlobo lomntu omele uhlangane nalo. Ukuba awuziva ukhululekile ukuthetha nabahlobo bakho okanye usapho lwakho malunga noku, khangela amaqabane asempilweni ubudlelwane bexesha elide. Finyelela kubo kwaye ube nencoko enyanisekileyo. Usenokugqiba ngeengcebiso ezixabisekileyo.

9. Yiya apho abantu babelana ngomdla wakho

Uyifumana njani eneneni, uyabuza? Ngokulula ngokujonga kwiindawo ezifanelekileyo. Ukufuna "indlela yokufumana iqabane lam lomphefumlo" unokwenza ukuba ucinge ngezinto okanye uzame kanzima ukufumana loo mntu ufezekileyo oya kuthi angene ebomini bakho aze akutshayele ezinyaweni zakho. Kodwa njengoko besitshilo, xa sithetha malunga nokufumana intsingiselo enye, isitshixo kukukhangela umntu ofaneleka kuwe.

Ukufumana umntu onengqondo efanayo owabelana naye ngezinto ezinomdla kunye nezinto ezizithandayo kunokuba sisiqalo esihle kuhambo lwakho lokufumana lowo ungenakuphila ngaphandle kwakhe. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, yintoni engcono kunokufumana indawo efanayo yokwakha unxibelelwano lokwenyani?

UDave (27) waseColorado, owadibana neqabane lakhe kumsitho wepop-up, uthi, “Nikela ingqalelo kwimiqondiso yokuqala enidibana nayo.

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10. Tyelela umqeqeshi wobudlelwane okanye umnyangi

Unexhala lokuba awusoze ulufumane uthando lokwenyani? Ukuba ukwindawo embi, funa isikhokelo kwingcali yobudlelwane okanye kunyango. Banokukunika ukuqonda okuxabisekileyo kwaye bakuncede uziqonde ngcono, utyhile iipateni kwaye uphonononge iimvakalelo zakho. Banokukukhokelela ekufumaneni iqabane lakho lobomi elihambelanayo.

UDerek (35) waseFlorida usixelela ukuba, “Mhlawumbi udiniwe kukungadibani nomntu ofanelekileyo. ubudlelwane obunzulu. Ngoko ke, wazi njani ukuba ngubani? Ukuthetha ngokusuka kumava, ndingatsho ukuba ukufuna isikhokelo kumqeqeshi wobudlelwane okanye umcebisi kunokuba luncedo kakhulu kwiimeko ezinje. Banokukunceda uhambe kuhambo lokuhlangana nomntu okhethekileyo. Okanye njengakwimeko yam, ukuhlangabezana nothando lobomi bakho!”

11. Ukwakha ubuhlobo beka kwindawo yokuqala

"Ngokwenene bayifumene." Ngaba ukhe uzive ngolu hlobo xa ujonga isibini esikungqongileyo? Isenokuba ngumalume kunye nomakazi wakho, umhlobo wakho osenyongweni kunye nesithandwa sakhe, okanye isibini esitshatileyo esidala ebumelwaneni bakho. Ewe, amabali abo othando aya kwahluka, kodwa uya kuqaphela into enye eqhelekileyo - iqhina labo lakhiwe kwisiseko sobuhlobo obuqinileyo.

Yiyo loo nto ukwakha ubuhlobo kubaluleke ngokwenene ukuba ufuna ukufumana lowo kubudlelwane okanye ukufumana lowo awukwazi ukuphila ngaphandle kwakhe. Icebiso lePro: Xa umntu eziva njengomhlobo osondeleyo kakhulu, ekwenza uhleke nangeentsuku ezimnyama, kwaye kukunceda ukuba wabelane ngazo zonke iimfihlo zakho ngaphandle kokukhathazeka, thatha ingcebiso! Ezi ziimpawu zakuqala ukuba udibene nale.

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12. Zama online ukuthandana apps

Ngaba ndiza kufumana uthando kwi-app yokuthandana? Ngaba ukuthandana nokufumana lowo nokuba kunokwenzeka? Ngaba kunqabile ukufumana enye, ngakumbi kweli xesha le ukuthandana mihla? Ukuba ukhe wazibuza oku, yazi ukuba abantu abaninzi baye bafumana ubudlelwane obunentsingiselo nge-intanethi.

Nantsi into enokunceda: umfanekiso weprofayile omnandi (amanqaku e-brownie ukuba inja yakho), iprofayile eyiyo (akukho yunivesithi ezingeyonyani okanye amabali okuhamba, nceda), kwaye uthathe ixesha lokwazi imidlalo yakho enokwenzeka. Ngoku, ukuba ulungile, nantsi ezimbalwa ezithandwayo kwi-intanethi ye-apps yokuthandana, ngakumbi kubudlelwane obunzulu:

• eHarmony
• Umdlalo.com
• Kulungile
• Ikofu Meets Bagel
• EliteSingles
• bumble
• Hinge
• UManyano

13. Zama ukwenza imihla engaboniyo

“Xa ndadibana nomama wakho, ndaziva ngathi ndingaphefumla kwakhona,” uJack Pearson evela Nguwo uxelele abantwana bakhe. Wadibana noRebecca ngomhla ongaboniyo kodwa akazange azive uxhulumaniso oluqinileyo ekuqaleni. Noko ke, ikamva lalinazo nezinye izicwangciso. Bagilana kwakhona ngobo busuku. Njengoko babencokola nzulu, kwavela intlantsi, yaye baqonda ukuba kukho into ekhethekileyo phakathi kwabo.

Ukhumbula emva kweminyaka emininzi, “Bendizama ukufumana indawo ezolileyo yokufunda incwadi yam, ndaza ndakubona. Kwaye ndiyacinga, xa ungatshatanga, kwaye uzama ukuba njalo, uyazi, “Owu, andidingi mntu”, kuhlala kukho lo mntu mnye, lo mntu mnye nje… ukukhubekisayo.

Ukuba usanda kuphuma kubudlelwane obude okanye ulahlekelwe lukholo kuthando lokwenene okanye ubudlelwane abaqolileyo, umhla ongaboniyo unokuba yinto oyifunayo. Ingathomalalisa njengekhala eluswini olutshiswe lilanga- inika umbono omtsha kunye nethuba lokuhlangana nomntu othandana naye. Ndithembe, imihla eyimfama inamandla okukothusa ngeendlela ongazange uzicinge!

Khumbula, uhambo lokufumana lowo luzaliswe kukuzifumanisa, ukukhula kobuqu, kunye namathuba anika umdla. Ewe, ayizukwenzeka ngosuku, kodwa ngala macebiso engqondweni, akuyi kufuneka ulinde ngonaphakade okanye ulahlekelwe lithemba. Lonwabele uhambo, hlala unethemba, kwaye ukholelwe ukuba okona kulungileyo kuseza. Umdlalo wakho ogqibeleleyo ulapha phandle, ulinde ukwabelana nawe ngebali lothando elimangalisayo!

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Iindidi ezili-13 zokutyumza onazo (okanye ozakubanazo) ubuncinci kanye!

Izinto ezili-13 zokuziqhelanisa ukutsala uthando kuBomi bakho

Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.