Iindlela ezili-12 zokukhuthaza uMyeni wakho

Amadoda anzima! Kufuneka bomelele kwaye bangoyiki. Kulindeleke ukuba bondle intsapho yabo. Abavumelekanga ukuba babonise icala labo elisengozini, ukuba babe neemvakalelo okanye bavakalise uloyiko lwabo kunye nokuzisola. Noko ke, njengeqabane lomtshato, zikho iindlela onokumkhuthaza ngazo umyeni wakho uze umncede kobu bunzima bobudoda.

Research ibonisa ukuba amadoda amaninzi ajongana nokubuyela umva xa engahambelani nemigaqo yoosolusapho elindelekileyo kubo. Umzekelo, uphononongo luka-2015 (njengoko kukhankanyiwe kolu phando lungentla), lubonise ukuba amadoda avakalisa iimfuno zawo kwaye abonise naziphi na iimpawu zobuthathaka abhalwe ngokukhawuleza "njengababuthathaka" okanye athathwa ngokuba "phantsi kwesimo." 

Uluntu luninzi lokuphendula xa kuziwa ekuphakamiseni le mithetho 'yobudoda.' Xa uphakamisa kwaye ukhuthaza umyeni wakho, awuvezi nje kuphela indlela athetha ngayo kuwe kodwa, okubaluleke ngakumbi, ukuba uyakholelwa kuye. Bonisa ukuba ulapho ngenxa yakhe - xa umsebenzi ufumana uxinzelelo, xa ubomi bumthoba, naxa eziva edakumbile kwaye engakhuthazwa. 'Ngenye imini' kube lula ngakumbi, nawe usecaleni kwakhe, umphakamisa ngamazwi akho akhuthazayo. 

Iindlela ezili-12 zokukhuthaza uMyeni wakho  

Akunakuphikiswa impembelelo abanayo amaqabane omnye komnye. Kuyo nayiphi na inkxaso, ubudlelwane bonxibelelwano, iqabane lakho ngumntu wokuqala oguqukela kuye ngamaxesha amahle kunye namabi. Njengoko iminyaka ihamba, kulula ukulibala oku kwaye ukuthathana omnye komnye. Kodwa izinto ezincinci enikwenzelana zona zinokugcina ulwalamano lwenu lusempilweni. Njengomlingane kunye ne-cheerleader yakhe ephambili, nantsi iindlela ezili-12 zokukhuthaza abayeni kunye nokwenza umehluko ebomini babo. 

1. Mthumele amanqaku amancinci 

Ukuba amanqaku othando emihla ngemihla acela kakhulu, kutheni ungamangali nje umyeni wakho kube kanye ngexesha kunye nesikhumbuzo esincinci malunga nokuba uthetha kangakanani kuwe, amandla akhe, okanye kutheni ubudlelwane bakho bubaluleke kangaka? Inqaku elincinci elifakwe kwijacket yakhe okanye lishiywe phantsi komqamelo linokuthetha ihlabathi kwintsika yakho yamandla. Hee, kwaneposi ye-Instagram okanye yebhlog encoma izidima zakhe ayinakuba yimpazamo ukuba uziva ephantsi ngokwenene. 

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Iindlela ezili-10 zokubonisa uxabiso kuMyeni wakho

2. Mphuze njengokuqala 

Ayikokuncamisa nje okomzuzwana phambi kokuba ahambe aye emsebenzini okanye adinwe apeck phambi kokuba ajike imini. Hayi, sithetha ngokuphuzana njengoko nenzile nobabini ekuqaleni kobudlelwane benu. Xa yonke into yayinomlingo kwaye igcwele isithembiso. Khumbula loo mvakalelo? Amathuba amaninzi abayeni angathanda ukukhunjuzwa nawo. 

3. Mphathe kakuhle 

Kwaye ngoku, sithetha ipepile kwiveki yakhe kunye nezinto ezincinci azithandayo. Ngapha koko, akukho mntu umazi ngaphezu kwakho! Mthengele ikofu yakhe ekhethekileyo, wenze umsebenzi adla ngokuwenza, okanye umphekele ukutya akuthandayo. Kumadoda amaninzi, ukwenza into encinane yindlela ethandekayo yokubonisa inkathalo yaye akuyekanga ukucinga ngabo. Ezi zipho zincinci kunye nezenzo zobubele zikwasebenza njengesixhobo ukuqinisa ubudlelwane bakho.

4. Yenza umthandazo omncinci ukukhuthaza umyeni wakho

Ukuba uyakholwa, akukho nto inamandla njengokuthandazela umyeni wakho. Ukumbuza ukuba kukho nantoni na angathanda ukuba uyithandazele kukwenza ube nombono wento esenokuba imkhathaza. Imithandazo yakho kunye nesibakala sokuba ubambe umyeni wakho ngokusondeleyo kumoya oyingcwele noThixo entliziyweni yakho ngokuqinisekileyo iya kumnika ukuzithemba okufunekayo. 

Ngamanye amaxesha, ukutyelela inkokeli yokomoya (kuxhomekeke kwiinkolelo zakho) kunokunceda umyeni wakho aphumelele kumathandabuzo kunye noloyiko lwakhe. Kukho ukwahlukana zophando zakutshanje eyayivavanya ukungazinzi kulwalamano lomtshato. Phantse i-86% yala matyala achaze uzinzo olukhulu xa edityaniswe nemvelaphi eyomeleleyo yenkolo okanye yokomoya. 

5. Yonke into imalunga nento oyithethayo 

Ngamanye amaxesha, eyona ndlela yokukhuthaza umyeni wakho kukuthetha nje ngokuvakalayo. Usenokuba uyasokola ukufumana okulungileyo amazwi enkuthazo kwindoda oyithandayo kuba umtsha kubudlelwane bothando, okanye uneentloni, okanye awulunganga ngamagama. Nokuba siyintoni na isizathu, sikuphathele.

6. Ixesha 'lokwenene' lokuphulaphula 

Kubalulekile ukumamela ngenkuthalo. Ukumamela umyeni wakho ngaphandle kwesigwebo. Myeke akhuphe umoya. Mnike indawo ekhuselekileyo yokuvakalisa uloyiko lwakhe nosizi. Akulula ukuba amadoda abonise ukuba sesichengeni kwawo. Mvumele akubonise umoya wakhe ozolileyo nowokuthula kwaye ukhulule amaxhala akhe. Xa esenza oku, qiniseka ukuba uliliwa lakhe (kwaye ungoyena ugwebayo ngelo xesha). 

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Imibuzo engama-20 Ukwakha Ubudlelwane obusondeleyo ngokweemvakalelo kunye neBond kunye neqabane lakho kwinqanaba elinzulu

7. Ixesha elincinci le-sexy alikho mntu 

Njengesibini esitshatileyo esineminyaka eliqela phantsi kwamabhanti akho, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba nobomi bokwabelana ngesondo obungenamsebenzi (ngcono). Iingcali, kunjalo, ukugxininisa ukuba ukugcina uxhulumaniso ngokomzimba kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba naluphi na ulwalamano. Ukuwola, ukubukela, ukuncamisa, nokubamba izandla nokuba neentlobano zesini kunokukomeleza ukuzinikela kwakho ngokweemvakalelo yaye kunokumxhasa umyeni wakho ngamaxesha anzima. 

8. Ubusuku bomhla, nabani na? 

Ukubekela bucala ixesha lomnye kunokunceda ekuboniseni umyeni wakho ukuba uyawuxabisa umtshato wakho yaye ukulungele ukubekela bucala ixesha lawo. Akuthethi ngabantwana, abasebukhweni, isikolo, okanye imali. Vumela eyakho ngobusuku busuku yibani ngcwele kuni nobabini kuphela. Isenokubonakala ingaqhelekanga ekuqaleni, kodwa siyathembisa, xa sele ulwenzile olu phawu rhoqo, lungenza umahluko kubomi bomyeni wakho (nobakho). 

9. Thetha ukuze ukhuthaze umyeni wakho 

Ukuba uziva unamandla malunga nomsebenzi omhle owenziwa ngumyeni wakho - thetha. Ukuba uyayithanda indlela abajonga ngayo abantwana - mxelele. Ukuba ufuna ukuba ihlabathi lazi ukuba yintoni indoda emangalisayo, yabelana ngokuvulekileyo. Ukuthetha ngeqabane lakho yindlela efanelekileyo yokuthatha imeko ezandleni zakho kwaye uyenze ibe ngcono, ngakumbi ukuba uziva engakhuselekanga. Kuyathandeka ukwenza xa ungayazi indlela yokukhuthaza abayeni xa umsebenzi unoxinzelelo, okanye amaxhala abacinezelayo. 

10. Umbulelo yinjini enamandla 

Umbulelo wenza ukuba ihlabathi lijikeleze. Nje ukuba uqaphele oku, okuseleyo kuwela endaweni. Ukukhuthaza umyeni wakho kulula njengokubulela nokuyibonisa. Mbonise ukuba uyamthanda ngokuba nombulelo ngendlela akuphatha ngayo wena nabo bonke abanye abantu, ngamagalelo akhe kwintsapho yenu, nangomgama eniye nafikelela kuwo nonke. Uluhlu luyaqhubeka. Emva kokuba wenze olo luhlu lokubulela, qiniseka ukuba uyabelana ngalo neqabane lakho. Kufuneka ayazi into oyibulelayo nawe. 

11. Thatha kuye 

Ngaba umyeni wakho uyakucaphukela ukwenza imisebenzi ethile? Ewe, mmangalise kwaye uthathe indawo. Ukunceda ngaphandle kokucelwa yindlela ethandekayo yokunciphisa umoya xa exinezelekile okanye enomsindo. Ukungakhalazi ligama elisebenzayo apha, ke khumbula ukwenza le misebenzi mincinci ngaphandle kokwenza konke ngawe. 

12. Thetha inyani ngezinto ezikuxhalabisayo

Ukuthetha inyaniso kunokuba nzima kakhulu, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha kuyimfuneko. Ukuba kufuneka ulungise izinto ezikuxhalabisayo okanye ukuba umyeni wakho ukukhubekisile nangayiphi na indlela, ukunyaniseka kunokukunceda wena kunye naye nihlangabezane neemvakalelo ezibuhlungu. Akuyomfuneko ukuthetha, gcina amazwi akho ngovelwano novelwano. Oku kuya kumkhuthaza ukuba abe ngumntu ongcono, iqabane kunye notata.

Ngokutsho isifundo eqhutywa yiBritish Association for Counsellors and Therapists, eyona ingxaki yobudlelwane obuqhelekileyo eziswe kwitheyibhile therapy kwaba miscommunication. Izibini ezitshatileyo ziyaphumelela xa iinkxalabo zibhengezwa kwindawo ekhuselekileyo. Unxibelelwano, njengoko sisazi, sisitalato esineendlela ezimbini.

Izinto ezingama-25 onokuzithetha ukukhuthaza uMyeni wakho 

Ke, ngoku uyayazi indlela yokubonisa amazwi akhuthazayo kumyeni wakho, kodwa uthini na? Makhe sikuncede. Zive ukhululekile ukusebenzisa nayiphi na kwezi nangayiphi na indlela oyifunayo. Zixube. Yongeza iinkcukacha zakho. Sebenzisa amagama esilo-qabane kunye nemigaqo yothando. Zenze zibe zezakho ngokupheleleyo. 

UkuFunda okuFanayo: I-125 yeMiyalezo yasekuseni elungiselelwe yena-Uthando, uThandeka, uFlirty, uSexy, umnandi.

1. Ndikuthanda kakhulu. Ekuseni, emini nasebusuku – nguwe owam.  
2. Ndikuthanda ngokuba nguwe – indlela onoxolo ngayo nawe kunye nezinto othe wazizuzisa.
3. Okukhona ndikwazi, kokukhona ukhangeleka ngcono. Ndiliqabane elinye elinethamsanqa.
4. Ndinebhongo ngendlela enihambe ngayo. Usapho lwethu luphumelele kwiimeko ezinzima ngenxa yamandla akho kunye nempembelelo enkulu.
5. Ndiyayithanda indlela onganikezeli ngayo.
6. Ungoyena nto ilungileyo ebomini bam. Enkosi ngokuba ngumyeni wam namhlanje, ngomso, nangonaphakade.

7. Nguwe umntu wokuqala endibalekela kuye ukuze ndifumane iingcebiso. Ndihlala ndizibuza ukuba ngendiyintoni ngaphandle kwakho.  

8. Yenza iqabane lakho lonwabe ngokuthi – Ungoyena mntu ukrelekrele ndimaziyo (kwaye masithembe ukuba nawe uziva ngendlela efanayo ngam!)

9. Intlonipho nothando lwakho zizinto zonke endizidingayo, ukanti undipha kakhulu kunokuba bendizicingela. 

10. Nasi isikhumbuzo esincinci sokuba ubaluleke kakhulu kum.

11. Ungaze ulibale, womelele kakhulu. Nanini na xa usoyika, jonga ngasemva uze ubone ukuba kungakanani na ukoyisa kwakho. 

12. Ndinebhongo ngokuba liqabane lakho nomhlobo osenyongweni kwaye ndikwazi ukukuxhasa ekusasazeni ilizwi likaThixo. 

13. Ndicinga ukuba ubomi bentsapho yethu busekelwe kukholo, intlonelo nokhuthazo kumyeni wam nasebantwaneni. Umtshato owonwabileyo ngokwenene, awucingi? 

14. Khumbula ukubuyela elizwini likaThixo kwaye uthandaze nanini na ukoyiswa ziingcinga ezingalunganga kwaye ubomi bungumngeni.  

15 Njengabazali, sisisiseko sentsapho yethu. Njengeqabane lam, nguwe unobangela wokuba sonwabe emtshatweni. Ndinombulelo kakhulu.

16. Enkosi ngokusebenza nzima. Intsapho yethu ibonelelwa kakuhle. 

17. Ndiyathanda ukuba ndinokuthembela kuni ngayo nantoni na kwaye sithethe ngawo onke amathemba namaphupha ethu. 

18 Ndiyakholwa kuwe. Unokwenza nantoni na obeka ingqondo yakho kuyo. 

19. Ndiyabulela kuwe, kwaye ndiyathemba ukuba uyakwazi oko. 

20 Ebumnandini nasebubini ndithanda ukuba secaleni kwakho yonke imihla. 

21. Amaphupha akho kunye nethemba akwenza ukuba, wena. Njengeqabane lakho, ndifuna wazi ukuba iimvakalelo zakho zibalulekile, kwaye ndiya kuhlala ndikuxhasa. 

22 Andifuni nokucinga ubomi ngaphandle kwakho ecaleni kwam. 

23. Uvuyo lokuba ndonwabile emtshatweni kuwe ayinakulinganiswa nanto. Nasemva kwayo yonke le minyaka, nguwe owam, kwaye nam ndiziva ngale ndlela ndandiziva ngayo ngala mini sasitshata ngayo. 

24 Kungakhathaliseki ukuba yintoni umngeni, sifumene oku, mntwana. Nguwe kunye nam ngokuchasene nehlabathi. 

25 Ngenye imini, omnye umntu wandibuza imfihlelo yomtshato wethu owonwabileyo. Ndimele ndivume ukuba ngaphandle kweempawu zobunkokeli zomyeni wam othandekayo kunye nokukwazi kwakho ukomelela kwintsapho yonke, olu lwalamano ngebafa kudala. 

Ilitye lokugqibela lobulumko. Ukuba wenza zonke ezi zinto zintle kwaye unikela ngalo lonke olu khuthazo kwaye awufumani nto ngembuyekezo, elona cebiso lilungileyo liya kuba kukuyeka. Yamkele into yokuba imitshato emininzi sisenzo sokupha nokwamkela. Yaye maxa wambi, elinye iqabane lifuna ukunikela ngaphezu kwelinye. Amandla akhokelayo emva kwayo yonke into kukubonakalisa uthando lwakho ngaphandle kokulindela nantoni na. Yakhanani ngokungazingci, yaye intsapho yenu nomtshato wenu uya komelela kulo.

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Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.