Indlela yokuLumkela uBudlelwane beeFlegi eziBomvu-Ingcali iyakuxelela

Ukusabalalisa uthando

Kumntu obhinqileyo, kusenokubonakala kulucelomngeni ukuzikhethela indoda eyiyo- kuba indlela yakhe yokukhetha inokusasazwa kwaye inomkhethe. Ngamanye amaxesha kulula ukwazi into angayifuniyo umntu kunokuba ubethelele into ayifunayo – kubudlelwane. Ukuze ukwazi into ongayifuniyo kufuneka uvule amehlo kunye neendlebe zakho ubudlelwane iiflegi ebomvu oko kunokungqineka kuyinyaniso abaphuli-mthetho.

Umfazi unokwazi njani ngokuzithemba ukuba indoda athandana nayo ‘ngumlindi’ wokwenene? Ngaphaya koko, zingaphi 'iinjongo' anokuthi umgcini azigcine kwaye azifezekise? Ngubani ogcina amanqaku? Amaxesha amaninzi, umntu udla ngokulungisa amanqaku.

Kuba ukuchongwa kunokuba nzima kunye nokuzingela kukaMnu. Ekunene' inokuqala ukuziva ngathi yinto eyolisayo eyonyanyekayo, kuyanceda ukuba nezikhokelo ezithile eziluncedo phambi kokuba uzibophelele endodeni.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Iimpawu ezingama-20 ukubudlelwane obuxhaphazayo

Ubudlelwane buziva buchulumancisa ngenxa yesakhono esibameleyo kodwa bahlala benomthwalo wokunkwantya kunye nonxunguphalo - ngenxa yokuphoxeka abanokukuza nabo. Isivakalisi esithi 'Bonke abantu ba….' akafane alandelwe ngamazwi okuncoma.

Olo nxunguphalo luhlala luthetha ngobukrakra babasetyhini abaliqela njengoko bezifumana belahlekile ngelixa bezama ukuqonda umhlaba osisaqhwithi kwaye ngamanye amaxesha inkanyamba ebulalayo ebizwa ngokuba yizothando. Kuloo meko ke kusengqiqweni ukuba ungabi jonga iiflegi ezibomvu kubudlelwane nendoda enokuthi ibonakalise ukuba yi-deal-breaker.

Yintoni iflegi ebomvu kubudlelwane?

Isiqulatho

Ubudlelwane iflegi ebomvu ibonisa ukuziphatha komntu obonisa ukuba kwixesha elizayo unokubonisa ukuxhaphaza okanye ukulawula ukuziphatha.

Iflegi ebomvu nayo inikezela ngokufa ukuba umntu akanalo isimilo, uvelwano kunye nobubele obuya kuba nefuthe kubudlelwane bakho naye. Iiflegi ezibomvu kubudlelwane nendoda zihlala zingahoywa ngabasetyhini kuba zifuna ukujonga umfanekiso omkhulu ongabandakanya impumelelo, ubutyebi, inkangeleko kunye nenethiwekhi yakhe.

Kodwa iiflegi ezibomvu zinokuba ngabaqhankqalazi kubudlelwane kwaye ukuba zingahoywa zinokukhokelela kwiziphumo ezibi.

Kubudlelwane babo namadoda abantu abaninzi bafuna ukungazinaki iiflegi ezibomvu, ngokombono wam, eyona mpazamo enkulu angayenza.

Kungcono ukuthobela iiflegi ezibomvu ngaphambi kokuba kuphele. Yintoni idibaniso yobudlelwane? Ngamanye amaxesha iiflegi ezibomvu zifihlakeleyo kwaye ukuba enye okanye ezimbini zikhona usenokuzibamba ezo. Kodwa ezinye iiflegi ezibomvu ziyakhala ebusweni bakho ukuba kufuneka uphule ubudlelwane kunye nokuba qhawula umtshato ukuba kuyimfuneko. Ezo zizinto ezaphula ubudlelwane.

UkuFunda okuFanayo:Iimpawu ezili-12 zokuKhanya ngegesi kunye neendlela ezi-5 zokujongana nayo

Indlela Watch Out For The Relationship Red Flags

Akuqhelekanga ukuba amanenekazi afinge iintshiya malunga 'nokhetho' apho. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uhlala enolwazi lwe iiflegi ezibomvu ngelixa ukhetha indoda, ukukhangela ubambiswano oluhlala luhleli luba nolwazi olungcono. Xa ukunye nenenekazi khangela iiflegi ebomvu kubudlelwane kunye nomfazi ngokunjalo. Omabini amadoda kunye nabasetyhini bathanda ukungabuhoyi ubudlelwane beeflegi ezibomvu kunye nabaphuli besivumelwano.

ukukhangela ubambiswano oluhlala luhleli luba nolwazi olungcono. — amanye amadoda nabafazi badla ngoyaba ubudlelwane iiflegi ebomvu kunye nabaphuli-mthetho.

Umntu ophakathi uchitha imizuzu emi-2 ukukhetha incasa ye-ayisikrimu ayifunayo kwaye usezingqondweni zombini ukuba uyafuna ukuzibophelela kwikhowuni okanye ikomityi.

Ukuba sikhetha into esiza kuyitya size siyilibale, akufanelanga ukuba kubekho iqondo elithile lokukhetha eliboniswa ngomntu anokuchitha ngaphezu kwesiqingatha sobomi bakhe? Yiyo loo nto kubalulekile ukuba uzigcine unolwazi kwiimpawu ezilumkisayo zobudlelwane.

Unaloo nto engqondweni, nalu uluhlu lwabasi-8 bobudlelwane bobudlelwane obunokuxhasa isigqibo sakho sokuphuma kwiphulo lokuthandana okanye ucinge ngokuphelisa ubudlelwane nendoda. Ezi iiflegi ezibomvu zobudlelwane ngokupheleleyo.

1. Akabahloneli abantu abamkhonzayo

Le iflegi ebomvu yobudlelwane xa iqatshelwe ngexesha inokukusindisa kwintlungu yexesha elizayo. Ngomhla wakho wokuqala jonga nje ukuba uziphatha njani neweyitala.

Ukuba unoburhalarhume, ukhohlakele, unomoya okhohlakeleyo kunye nozwilakhe kunye nabalindi, abasebenzi, abaphantsi kwakhe kunye nosapho lwakhe, olu luphawu oluqinisekileyo lokuba uhleli nomntu oxhaphazayo.

Ngokukhula kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ngenxa yokungahambi kakuhle kobomi, kukho ithuba elinamandla lokuba uya kuba nomsindo kwaye abe nomsindo. Ke likamva apho uhlala uhleli khona ukujongana nomyeni onomsindo.

Ubukrakra bulawula ngenqindi lentsimbi. Ngubani owaziyo? Mhlawumbi uya kutshintsha emva kokuba ebandezeleke ngokwaneleyo, kodwa ngaba uceba ukulinda de yenzeke okanye ingenzeki?

2. Unemithetho eyahlukileyo kuwe nakuye

Imilinganiselo ephindwe kabini ibonakala kubudlelwane. Iqabane elifuna unyango olukhethekileyo kodwa lisilele ukufaka isandla kwiimfuno zeqabane linokukhathaza ukuba kufutshane.

Umzekelo xa ebiza abahlobo bakhe, kungenxa yokuba kufuneka amanyane namakhwenkwe kwaye ukuba ubiza igenge yamantombazana akho, uchitha ixesha lakho kwaye ungamhoyi. Iyamangalisa akunjalo? Ubulungisa abunakuxoxwa. Le yiflegi ebomvu yobudlelwane kunye ne-deal-breaker ongenakuyihoya.

Unemithetho eyahlukileyo kuwe nakuye — Le yiflegi ebomvu yobudlelwane kunye ne-deal-breaker ongenakuyihoya.

UkuFunda okudibeneyo: Iingxaki zobudlelwane ezi-6 zeMillennials zizisa eyona iNyango kakhulu

3. Akabaxabisi abantu ababalulekileyo kuwe

Ukuba sithetha malunga nokuqaphela iiflegi ezibomvu kubudlelwane ngoko ngokuqinisekileyo le yinto enye. Ujongela phantsi kwaye ugwebe abantu abakuncedileyo ekubumbeni okanye ekuxhaseni uhambo lwakho lobomi.

Mhlawumbi ubajonga ngamehlo anorhatyazo aze ababone bengento yanto. Uyakuthoba Le ndlela. Olu lulwalamano olupheleleyo iflegi ebomvu ekufuneka uyilumkele.

Ngaba uyababona njengokhuphiswano kunokuba abadibanisi kukugcina unxibelelene neengcambu zakho kwaye wonwabile? Mhlawumbi ufuna nonke kuye. Mhlawumbi akayithandi into yokuba unabahlobo abaninzi kunaye. Zeziphi iintambo ongathanda ukuzisika?

4. Ukunyanzela ukuba umvumele ukuba aphathe yonke imali

Imali yeyona nto ilungileyo phakathi kwentsebenziswano kunye nobudlelwane obuselubala ukuze ukuthembeka kwakhelwe ixesha elide. Imali idla ngokuba ngummeli wamandla nolawulo kubudlelwane. Ngoko uyabona ukuba unayo ukuzimela ngokwezimali kodwa akukho nkululeko.

Iinjongo zezimali ekwabelwana ngazo kunye nezobuqu zizihloko ezishushu kwaye zifuna uthethathethwano olunovakalelo. Ukuba akakuboni njengenxaxheba kucwangciso olubaluleke ngolo hlobo nasekuthabatheni izigqibo, ngokwenene uyibona njani wena? Le yiflegi ebomvu ngokupheleleyo kunye nesivumelwano sobudlelwane.

5. Ungumntu othanda abantu ngokwesini okanye ogxeka abafazi

Indoda enezembe lokugalela abasetyhini isebenze ngendlela ebanzi nehlala igqwethekile ekunzima ukuqiqa nayo kuba iiparadigms 'zokuphakama nokuthotywa' zazisa indlela ebona ngayo yonke into. Mhlawumbi wayelawulwa ngumfazi ngexesha lobuncinci bakhe, waba abazali abayityhefu okanye mhlawumbi ukwala kwakhe amabhinqa kuthetha ngendlela awayesoloko ebafumana ngayo 'ngaphandle kokufikelela kuye'.

Mhlawumbi uyise wayemphethe kakubi umama wakhe kwaye wayenemizekelo ehluphekayo? Mhlawumbi ucinga ukuba ungcono kunabafazi? Ngubani owaziyo? Kodwa eneneni ezi ziiflegi ezibomvu zobudlelwane eziye zibe zizaphuli-mthetho.

iflegi ebomvu kubudlelwane — Ucinga ukuba wongamile kubafazi

6 Abahlobo nosapho lwakho bayamdelela

Ngoku, oku kunokuba nengxabano kuba kunzima 'ukunceda macala onke' kodwa olu lubudlelwane iflegi ebomvu awukwazi ukuyihoya. Akukho mathandabuzo okuba abantu abasondeleyo kuwe banokuba nezicwangciso zakho eziye zahlukana nezicwangciso zakho.

Nangona kunjalo, kubalulekile kwezinye iindawo ukuba uthathele ingqalelo imbono elungeleleneyo kunye nekhulileyo yabantu abakunqwenelela okuhle njengoko bahlala beyimfihlo ngokuziphatha kwakho ekuhlaleni kwaye banenxaxheba kwimpilo-ntle yakho yeemvakalelo.

Abanakusoloko bechanekile kodwa abanakusoloko bephosisa. Ukuba bakuxhalabele, abanye basenokuthi banomkhethe okanye bakhusela ngokugqithiseleyo kodwa kuthekani ukuba bakwinto ongayihoyiyo? Iingcinga azisoloko zingenachaphaza.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Izinto ezintlanu ezithethwa ngabazali baseIndiya malunga nobudlelwane obuyinyani

7. Uyazikhanyela iimvakalelo zakho njengezokwenene

Ukuba ubona njengomntu ofaka idrama kwidrama okanye umntu ongakwaziyo ukuba nengqiqo, ngoko ke amandla akho okubaluleka atsalwa kumbuzo. Le yimeko enzima ukuba ube kuyo.

Usenokungaze ahlangabezane neemfuno zakho zeemvakalelo njengoko ehlala ezama ukubonisa ukuba awuyiva le nto uyithethayo okanye 'usabela ngokugqithisileyo'. Akayi kwenza nawuphi na umzamo ukwakha ukusondelana ngokweemvakalelo.

Ukuthotywa kuzo zonke iimvakalelo okanye ukutyholwa 'ngokurhwaphiliza' ulangazelelo lukabani olusuka entliziyweni kunokuziva kukhohlakele yaye kuthotywa isidima. Ngoko ivakalelwa njani loo nto? Olu lubudlelwane iflegi ebomvu awukwazi ukuyihoya kwaye inokujika ibe yeyona nto imbi kakhulu.

8 Uhlala exoka kuwe;

abaphuli bobudlelwane — Usoloko ekuxokisa

Ukuba uziva ngathi akafuni nto okanye uziva ehlala ehleli, unokuba ukrokrela ukuba kukho into angafuni ukuba uyazi.

Yintoni le azama ukubalekela kuyo okanye ukubaleka kuyo? Kudla ngokuba nzima ukuchaza. Ngaphandle kokuthembana nentlonipho, ubudlelwane buyaphazamiseka. Yintoni le azama ukuyifihla kuwe? Ukuba likhoboka lephonografi? Ubudlelwane? Izigqibo ezimbi zemali? Ugqweso? Umsebenzi wolwaphulo-mthetho?

Iploti inokutyeba ngokukhawuleza kunokuba ulwazi lwakho lwemeko luvuthwa. Ukuba u ukuguqulwa kwengqiqo kunye nokuziphatha kakubi, zibuze ukuba ngaba ukunye naye ngenxa yobuqabane okanye ukudlala amapolisa nabaphangi.

Ukuba unayo imiba yokuthembela ke isiseko sobudlelwane benu siyagungqa.

Umbuzo usamile: Ngaba umntu ufanele alinde inqanawa izike okanye akhangele iphenyane lokuhlangula kusengaphambili? Enye indlela okanye enye, ngcono ukwazi ukuqubha. Akukho mntu unokuqiniseka nge-100% malunga nobomi okanye uthando. Kukho izinto ezininzi eziguquguqukayo ezidlalwayo. Nangona kunjalo, ukubuza imibuzo efanelekileyo kuwe nakwiqabane lakho kuya kukunceda udibanise into enyanisekileyo nesuka entliziyweni.

Ngaba ubomi busoloko buhamba ngendlela ecwangcisiweyo? Awukwazi ukwazi kwangaphambili. Nangona kunjalo, yintoni ekufuneka uyenzile ukuze ugcine ukukrokrela, ukukhohlisa, ulunya kunye nenkohlakalo ebomini bakho? Kwaye oko kunokwenzeka kuphela xa ujonge ubudlelwane obubomvu beflegi ezinokuthi zibe ngabaphuli-mthetho.

FAQs

1. Zeziphi ezona zivumelwano zibi kakhulu kubudlelwane?

Ukungathembeki, ukungathembeki kwezemali, impatho-gadalala – ngokwasemphefumlweni nasenyameni – izaphuli-mthetho ngokupheleleyo. Ukulawula, ukugxeka, ukuphelelwa isidima, ukuzithemba okuphantsi kunye nokutshata kodwa uzama ukwakha ubudlelwane, nazo zikwaphula isivumelwano.

2. Ziziphi iiflegi ezibomvu zokukhangela kumfana?

Into yokuqala kufuneka ubone indlela aziphatha ngayo kunye nomncedisi kwindawo yokutyela. Emva koko jonga ukuba uyalawula, ugxeka, isoka elincamathelayo kwaye unemithetho eyahlukeneyo yentlalontle yakho kunye naye kwaye ayifudumezi kusapho lwakho.

3. Ziziphi iiflegi ezibomvu zokukhangela kumfazi?

Iiflegi ezibomvu zokukhangela kumfazi kukubona ukuba ngummbi wegolide. Ukuba uya kuba a intombi yokugcina ephezulu, ukuba akanangqondo yaye uyathetha kuphela kodwa akancokoli. Yena u umntu ozingcayo kwaye ngalo lonke ixesha unomdla kwinto anokuyikhupha kubudlelwane.

4. Indlela yokubona abaphuli-mthetho bakho kubudlelwane?

Ukuba iqabane lakho lilawula, libambelele, lixhaphaza, likude ngokweemvakalelo kwaye liziphatha kakubi nabantu abakungqongileyo, ke ezi ziflegi ezibomvu zobudlelwane ezingabophuli ngokupheleleyo.

Iindlela ezili-13 zokumenza aqonde ukubaluleka kwakho

Iimpawu ezili-15 ezithi ibhinqa lifuna ukuhoywa kuphela, hayi wena

Ngaba Uqhubana Nomfana Ongakhuselekanga? Nazi iingcebiso ezili-15 zokuhlangabezana nazo

Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.