Ngaba Ukuthandana Emtshatweni Kubaluleke Ngokwenene?

Ukusabalalisa uthando

Umcholacholi weendaba waseMerika uMignon McLaughlin wathi, “Umtshato ophumelelayo ufuna ukuthandana izihlandlo ezininzi, ngamaxesha onke umntu omnye.” Namhlanje, sikholelwa ukuba uthando lothando lufanele lube sisiseko apho abantu ababini babeka phantsi iiplani zobomi bobunye. Ukuba kukho uthando emtshatweni, zonke ezinye izinto ziya okanye zifanele zilunge. Kodwa izinto zazingelula kangako kookhokho bethu.

Ngelixa umtshato ubukhona njengomba wobomi phantse kuyo yonke inkcubeko yehlabathi kwimbali erekhodiweyo, akukho nanye kuzo, kude kube mva nje, abantu batshata ngenxa yothando… Ingakumbi uthando lothando. Kangangamawaka eminyaka, umtshato wawuqhuba kakuhle kungekhona ngenxa yothando kodwa phezu kwako nje oko. Uthando belusoloko lugqalwa njengolunganelanga yaye lubuthathaka njengesizathu sokutshata.

Ukujonga ngasemva kuhambo lwethu kuya kusenza siqonde ukuba sihambe kangakanani. Indlela esizijonga ngayo uthando iye yatshintsha kakhulu kwezi nkulungwane zimbini zidlulileyo. Masikhe sithi chu kwiindlela zembali kwaye siphendule umbuzo obaluleke kakhulu – ngaba uthando emtshatweni lubaluleke kangako?

Ezothando kunye nomtshato-Isifundo seMbali

Isiqulatho

"Ngo-1800, ingcamango yokutshata ngenxa yothando yayinzima," watsho u-Eli Finkel, umbhali okhokelayo wesifundo ngomtshato kunye noprofesa wengqondo kwiYunivesithi yaseNorthwestern. Oko akuthethi ukuba abantu babengafuni uthando emtshatweni wabo, kodwa yayingeyonjongo yomtshato.” Kwakunqweneleka ukuba uthando, okanye ubuncinane, lukhule emva kokuba isibini sitshatile.

Uthando lwalungeyonto iphambili eyayiqwalaselwa ngabantu xa besenza isigqibo sokuba batshate nini kunye nabani. Iingqwalaselo ezisebenzayo zihlala zigqithisa iingcamango zeemvakalelo ngexesha lokwenziwa kwezigqibo. Ngamafutshane, iqabane lomtshato lalingengomntu wokuqala owakha naye unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo. Kodwa ukuba bekungekho kuthandana emtshatweni, abantu baluhlakulela njani ulwalamano olusenyongweni nolunentsingiselo?

Ukuphindaphinda okuKhawuleza: IziKronike ze-Romance Vs Umtshato

Umlingane okanye ishweshwe lidlale indima yokuba liqabane ngokweemvakalelo nangesondo. Nantsi inyani ebangel’ umdla: ngenkulungwane ye-12 neye-13, iinkokeli zaseYurophu zazijonga ukuthandana ngaphandle komtshato njengolona hlobo luphakamileyo lothando, olungadyojwanga ziinyaniso ezibuhlungu zobomi bemihla ngemihla. Apho kukho ukugaya imihla ngemihla, uthando lwalungenakukwazi! Iqabane lomntu (ngaphandle komtshato) lalikukubaleka izinto zemihla ngemihla nakwiingxaki.

Kwi-Indiya yamandulo, ukuthandana ngaphambi komtshato kwakugqalwa njengesenzo esiphazamisayo nesingenabuhlobo. Umtshato wawulilungiselelo, umanyano, kunye nentsebenziswano engenakuphumla eluthandweni. Kwaye le nkolelo ayizange iphelele kwilizwekazi laseIndiya. Kwezinye iilwimi zesiTshayina, igama elithi uthando alizange lisebenze ngokwesiko kwiimvakalelo phakathi kwendoda nomfazi: lalisetyenziselwa ukuchaza ubudlelwane obungekho mthethweni, obungamkelekanga ekuhlaleni.

Omabini, amaGrike amandulo kunye nabantu baseYurophu bamaxesha aphakathi babecinga ukuba ukugula luhlobo lwempambano; ukuba kwakuphantse kube yinto engafanelekanga ukuthanda iqabane ngokuzibhokoxa kakhulu. Abangaphambili bethu bavumelana ngokubanzi malunga nokungahambelani phakathi kothando nomtshato. Kodwa oku kuphakamisa umbuzo obalulekileyo. Yayiyintoni ingxaki kwimitshato yothando?

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Iingenelo ezisi-7 zothando Umtshato ngaphezu koMtshato oCwangcisiweyo

Kodwa Yintoni Ingxaki Ngokuthanda Iqabane Lakho?

Uthando nomtshato zazikade zigqalwa njengento engavisisaniyo ngenxa yazo zonke izizathu ezisebenzisekayo. Ukuba siza kubeka nje ngokulula, akukho ukuthandana emtshatweni bekuyeyona ndlela ikhuselekileyo yokubheja. Nasi isizathu sokuba abanduleli bethu babone ukuba uthando emtshatweni sisigqibo esingalunganga…

Ngowuphi umqobo omkhulu wokugcina uthando emtshatweni?

Iishedyuli ezixakekileyo

Ukungabikho konxibelelwano

Uxinzelelo lwemali

Ukuqhawulwa ngokweemvakalelo

Isizathu vs Iimvakalelo

Umtshato wawufuna intloko ezolileyo emagxeni amabini asebenza ngazwinye. Kwakufuneka ukulawula kunye nokulungelelaniswa kwenye iseti yee-ajenda kunye nezinto eziphambili, imihla ngemihla, kunye nonyaka emva konyaka ekusebenzeni kweHerculean. Amaqabane azahlulela ngokwawo okanye yintoni eyayiphakathi kwawo kwimeko ephantsi yokubaluleka.

Kwelinye icala, uthando olunenzondelelo lwalufuna ukubandakanyeka okunzulu ngokweemvakalelo, lucela abo babini babandakanyekayo ukuba babeke kuqala omnye komnye. Kwaye ngokwendalo yalo, uthando lwalusisitshingitshane seemvakalelo esitshabalalisayo, esidlulayo kwaye sithambekele ekubeni siphele. Xa ukuvutha kothando kwakuya kudamba, sasiza kwenza ntoni esi sibini?

Kuba siyazi, nanamhlanje, ukuba uthando alwanelanga kumtshato owonwabileyo. Zininzi nezinye iimpawu ezenza umtshato uphumelele. Intlonipho, inkxaso, intembeko, unxibelelwano, kunye nokuvumelana zibalulekile ngokulinganayo (ukuba akukho ngaphezulu). Ukuthandana emtshatweni kwabeka esichengeni ukuqina kweziko. Ukutsalwa kukubethwa yintliziyo ibinguno-hayi ongqongqo.

ukuthandana otshatileyo kungcono — Kutheni siluxabisa uthando emtshatweni?

Uzinzo vs Spontaneity - Kutheni imitshato yothando yayingacetyiswa

Ukuqiniseka nonqabiseko olwalufunwa ngumtshato lwaluchasene nemfihlelo kunye nolonwabo olwaluqhubeka luqhubeka uthando lothando. Apho umtshato ufuna ingqiqo, ingqiqo kunye nolungiselelo, uthando lothando kunye nenkanuko babephila ngesiphithiphithi, ubundlongondlongo nezidubedube. Umtshato wawufuna ukuzibophelela kunye neembopheleleko; uthando olushushu luyithathela phezulu nantoni na engaphumiyo kwindawo yalo njengengafanelekanga ukuhambisana nayo.

Ngelixa umtshato wawufuna ukhuseleko kunye nokuzinza, uthando olushushu lwalufuna ingozi kunye nobomi emphethweni. Ukuzenzekela kwakuyeyona nto yayiqhuba inkanuko. Ngenxa yoko, ‘ukuthandana kwabantu abatshatileyo’ kwakubonakala kuyinto engenakwenzeka. Ngasekupheleni kwenkulungwane ye-18, isithandi sobulumko esingumFrentshi uMontaigne sabhala oku, “Nayiphi na indoda eyayithandana nomfazi wayo yayiyindoda ebuthuntu kangangokuba kwakungekho mntu unokuyithanda.”

I-Countess yaseChampagne ivakalise imvakalelo efanayo xa wabhala, "Uthando alunakusebenzisa amandla alo phakathi kwabantu ababini abatshatileyo." Ezi nkolelo zibonakala zingaqhelekanga kuthi thina babeka uthando kwindawo yokuqala. Lixesha lokuba sibuyele kweli xesha langoku kwaye siqonde ukuba kutheni singacingi ukuba uthando kunye nomtshato ziyaphikisana. Kutheni uthando luyimfuneko emtshatweni kuthi?

Ukufunda Okunxulumeneyo: Iinyaniso ezi-6 ezishwankathela injongo yomtshato

Kutheni Siyixabisile I-Romance Emtshatweni Namhlanje?

Ukuba ookhokho bethu babenombono wendlela esiqhuba ngayo ubudlelwane bethu, baya kukhwankqiswa, ukutsho okuncinci. Siye sayichitha idichotomy yothando vs umtshato ngobunono. Namhlanje, uthando emtshatweni luphawu olubalulekileyo oluxatyiswayo. Siyazi ukuba uthando lunokuninzi kulo kunezijekulo zothando; ifakwe ngokunzulu kunye izinto ezisisiseko sokuzibophelela emtshatweni.

"Izothando zincinci malunga nezimbo zomzimba kwaye ngakumbi malunga nokwenza iqabane lakho lizive lixabisekile."

Izinto azinakwahlulwa zibe ngamagumbi angangeni manzi kubudlelwane. Ngumthetho olula ngenene – yonke into ichaphazela yonke into. Ukubonisa kakuhle oku, sidwelise izizathu ezimbalwa ezichaza ukubaluleka kothando. Baphendula umbuzo othi, “Kutheni uthando luyimfuneko emtshatweni?

1. Umbulelo

Ezothando yindlela entle yokubonakalisa umbulelo. Intshukumo ethi, "Ndiyayibulela yonke into ondenzela yona. Le yindlela yam yokubonisa indlela obaluleke ngayo kubomi bam." Nditsho izijekulo zothando ezingaqhelekanga njengokwenza isidlo sakusasa kuhamba indlela ende ekwenzeni iqabane likabani lizive lithandwa. Umbulelo lilitye lembombo lobudlelwane obonwabisayo.

2. Ukubandakanyeka

Xa ukuthandana nomtshato kuxubene, amaqabane ayahambelana. Iimfuno zothando zilungile kumtshato. Uhlala ufunda izinto ezintsha ngeqabane lakho kwaye oku kugcina ubudlelwane butsha. Yiloo nto kanye sisebenzela "ukugcina intlantsi iphila" kunxibelelwano lwexesha elide.

3. Ndithembe

Ukuthembana kwakhiwa ngenxa yothando emtshatweni. Izimbo zothando zenza iqabane likabani lizive likhuselekile kulwalamano. Basebenza njengeankile, besomeleza iqhina phakathi kwabantu ababini ababandakanyekayo. Siyayazi into abangazange bayenze ookhokho bethu – ezo zinto zibonakala zincinci zinefuthe elinzulu kutshintsho lwesi sibini.

Ukufunda Okunxulumeneyo: Iinyaniso ezi-6 ezishwankathela injongo yomtshato

4. Unxibelelwano

Ukuthandana kwabantu abatshatileyo kuqinisekisa iipateni ezinempilo zonxibelelwano. Xa incoko izaliswe luvelwano nobubele, kuba lula ukuxolelana. Nanini na isibini singavisisani, siye sizabalazela ukwenza loo nto ukusombulula impixano ngoxolo, hayi ukukhwazana okanye ukugqabhuka. Umlo we-egos awufane wenzeke xa kukho uthando emtshatweni.

Ngaba uyasiqonda isizathu sokuba indlela esiwujonga ngayo umtshato itshintshe kangaka? Ukuba akukho kuthandana emtshatweni, akusayi kubakho mbulelo, ukuthembana, ukubandakanyeka, okanye unxibelelwano. Iindlela zakudala zazisebenzela izinyanya zethu kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo azihambelani namabala ala maxesha okuthandana nomtshato.

FAQs

1. Ngaba uthando lubalulekile emtshatweni?

Ukuthandana kwakungeyonto iphambili yomtshato kutshanje njengenkulungwane ye-19. Ingcamango yothando emtshatweni iye yavela ngokuhamba kwexesha. Ngoku silugqala uthando njengeyona nkalo ibalulekileyo emtshatweni. Uthando lubalulekile kuba lukhulisa iimpawu ezinjengombulelo, ukubandakanyeka, ukuthembana, kunye nonxibelelwano.

2. Kwenzeka ntoni xa kungekho thando emtshatweni?

Isibini sityekele ekuqhubeni iindlela zomntu ngamnye ngokungakhathaleli omnye komnye. Unxibelelwano lwabo luye luwohloke baze bangene kwimikhwa engafanelekanga. Ngaphezu koko, inkxaso kunye nokuthembana kuyaphela ngokungabikho kothando emtshatweni. Ngamafutshane, iingxabano zomtshato zixhaphaka kwaye zikhula ngokukhawuleza.

3. Ngaba ubudlelwane busebenza ngaphandle kothando?

Oko kuxhomekeke kwinkcazelo yomntu 'yomsebenzi'. Ubudlelwane obuninzi busebenza ngaphandle kothando kodwa kunzima ukuqiniseka ukuba basemgangathweni kangakanani na. Uthando ludityaniswe nezinye iimpawu ezifana nenkxaso, ukuthembana, unxibelelwano kunye nombulelo. Xa ingekho, iqabane lisenokungabelani ngokunzulu okanye ngeqhina elibalulekileyo.

Iingcinga Final

Ukuthandana emtshatweni akukhona nje ngokutya okukhanyiswe ngamakhandlela okanye izijekulo ezinkulu-kumalunga nokugcina umoya weemvakalelo uphila. Kuyalomeleza ulwalamano, komeleza ubuhlobo, kuze kongeze ulonwabo kulwalamano. Ngelixa uxanduva lobomi ngamanye amaxesha lunokusibekela uthando, ukulenza libe yinto ephambili kunokulawula inkanuko kwaye zisondeze izibini kunye. Abacebisi bethu bobudlelwane balapha ukukukhokela ekunxibelelaneni kwakhona neqabane lakho kwaye uphinde ufumane uvuyo lothando.

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Igalelo lakho alilomnikelo wesisa . Liza kuvumela iBonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha noluhlaziyiweyo ekuzameni kwethu ukunceda nabani na emhlabeni ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.