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Ba Za Mu Iya Ƙare Dangantakar Mu Ba Kuma Ba Mu Ga Gaba Tare…

Tambayoyi da Amsoshina | Fabrairu 13, 2020 | Gwani Marubuci Neha Anand , Pshycotherapist & Kocin Rayuwa
An sabunta: 27 ga Satumba, 2024

Yada soyayya

Ni dan shekara 24 ne kuma a halin yanzu ina neman MBA daga makarantar B-School a Indiya. Ina da abokina yana karatu a cikin ajina. Bayan 'yan watanni na abota, sai ya ba ni shawara. Amma yanzu muna cikin irin wannan yanayi wanda ba za mu iya tunanin rabuwa ba ko kuma ba za mu iya kallon wata kyakkyawar makoma tare ba.

Bamu Da Gaba Tare

Teburin Abubuwan Ciki

Asalin danginsa ya bambanta da nawa. Nasa caste, da matsayinsa, ya yi ƙasa da nawa. Tun da iyayensa ba su da tarbiyya, yana da nauyi da yawa da ya kamata ya cika. Da farko bai yi tunani sosai a kan wannan duka ba, ya fara nuna min soyayyar sa.

Shafin da Ya Kwance: Nayi Soyayya Da Wani Bayan Mu'amalata

Ina cikin tsaka mai wuya

Ko da yake ban bayyana masa sarai cewa ina son shi ba, amma a hankali na fara ji da shi. Na shiga tsaka mai wuya a rayuwata domin na rabu uku, kuma bana son wata. Don haka ban fito karara na ce masa ina son shi ba, amma ina son shi.

Muna kusa a hankali da jiki yanzu

Muna da yakinin cewa iyayena ba za su amince da wannan kawance ba saboda kabilarsa da danginsa. — Mun zama abokantaka ta jiki da ta ruhaniya

Mun zama abokantaka ta jiki da ta ruhaniya. Bayan wata biyu muna soyayya, sai ya ce min idan ya zama dole ya zabi tsakanin iyayensa wadanda suka dogara gare shi da ni, bai da tabbacin zai iya zabe ni. Muna da yakinin cewa iyayena ba za su amince da wannan kawance ba saboda kabilarsa da danginsa.

Muna cikin tsaka mai wuya

Muna cikin matsi game da yadda za mu ciyar da wannan dangantakar gaba domin dukanmu muna son juna. Yana tunani game da ni kuma yana jin cewa idan muka ci gaba a yanzu kuma muka rabu a nan gaba, zai yi tasiri a rayuwarmu biyu. Nine soyayyarsa ta farko. Yana baƙin ciki cewa ƙila ba zai iya ba ni farin ciki da kwanciyar hankali a nan gaba ba saboda yanayin iyalinsa da ba shi da kuɗi. Mun sha tunani sau da yawa cewa ya kamata mu kawo karshen dangantakarmu amma ba za mu iya yin hakan ba. Da fatan za a taimake mu.

Yana baƙin ciki cewa ƙila ba zai iya ba ni farin ciki da ta'aziyya a nan gaba ba — Muna cikin rudani game da yadda zamu dauki wannan dangantakar

Uwargida,

Da farko ina so in yaba da tambayar ku kuma ina so ku sani cewa wannan lokaci na ɗan lokaci ne kuma tabbas za ku fita daga cikin wannan mawuyacin hali nan ba da jimawa ba.

Na fahimci abin da ka iya faruwa.

Dole ne mutane su ba da fifiko

Duba, akwai kusan nau'ikan alaƙa da yawa. Wasu suna son yin soyayya amma ba sa son yin aure, wasu kuma suna son yin aure ta hanyar ko ta yaya za su sa abubuwa su kasance cikin haɗari. Bambancin shi ne cewa dole ne su bincika tsarin darajar dangantakarsu. Dole ne mutane su fifita abin da suke so kuma su auna abin da ya fi mahimmanci a gare su.

Aure daban ne

A cikin yanayin ku, da farko, ku biyu dole ne ku ga yadda kuke son zama tare da juna. Dole ne ku duka biyu ku zauna ku auna abubuwan da kuka fi ba da fifiko a rayuwa tunda aure ba lamari ne na kwana daya kawai ba. Yana kawo nauyi mai yawa. Tabbas yana da matukar wahala ku rabu da juna yayin da kuke soyayya ta gaskiya da hauka, amma idan kun yi aure, za ku daura aure da dangin baki daya.

Tsayawa irin waɗannan abubuwan a zuciya, shawararku dole ne ta zama mai hankali kuma a aikace.

Shafin da Ya Kwance: Tattaunawa guda 5 da yakamata ayi kafin aure domin gujewa matsaloli daga baya

Ga abin da ya kamata ku yi…

Zauna ku gane ko kun shirya don sadaukar da abubuwa da yawa — Ka kwantar da hankalinka ka tambayi kanka cewa da gaske kake cikin soyayya ta gaskiya

Ina ba da shawarar wasu abubuwa kaɗan waɗanda kuke buƙatar yin tunani akai sannan ku warware wannan matsalar.

1. Ki kwantar da hankalinki ki tambayi kanki bayan kin rabu uku shin da gaske kina cikin soyayyar gaskiya ko kuwa shakuwa ce kawai don cike gurbi?

2. Idan a sane kuka ji kun shirya daurin aure, to ku biyu ku zauna ku gane shin kun shirya sadaukar da abubuwa da yawa idan iyaye ba su yarda da hakan ba ko za ku iya tsayawa kan juna?

3.Lokacin da kuke soyayya abubuwa na son abin duniya ba komai wanda ke nufin ba za'a yi la'akari da matsayin zamantakewa ko ma'auni ba amma idan kun yi aure, akwai nauyi da yawa da ke zuwa a wuyan ku kuma ba za ku iya rage su ba. Abin da nake nufi a nan shi ne, ku duka kuna shirye ku ɗauki wannan damar?

4. Idan waɗannan amsoshin eh, to, zaku iya ci gaba da wannan alaƙar. Idan A'A ne, to dole ne ka yarda cewa tafiyarka ta kasance har zuwa nan kawai. Yana da kyau koyaushe a raba hanya cikin aminci kuma bisa kyakkyawar fahimta maimakon ɗaukar matsayi mai ruɗani wanda zai ƙara haifar da matsala kawai.

Yanke shawara na hankali yana da mahimmanci

akwai kuma ma'auratan da ba su da sha'awar aure sosai saboda wani tarihi mai ban tausayi a rayuwarsu — Bayan wasu 'yan shekaru sun yi dangantaka mai zurfi da karfi a tsakaninsu

Duk wani yanke shawara na hankali da aka ɗauka a daidai lokacin yana hana ku daga duk wani rauni na gaba.

A kullum ina haduwa da ma’aurata cikin soyayyar aure wadanda suka kulla alaka mai karfi tsawon shekaru. Har yanzu suna son juna amma ba za su iya zama tare ba, domin yanzu bayan shekaru goma da aurensu, abubuwan da suka fi muhimmanci sun canza.

Haka kuma akwai ma’auratan da ba su cika sha’awar aure ba saboda wani tarihi mai cike da bakin ciki a rayuwarsu, amma a yau bayan wasu ‘yan shekaru sun yi soyayya mai zurfi a tsakaninsu.

Karɓa shine mabuɗin

Lokacin da ba ku sami wani zaɓi don zama tare ba, ku yarda cewa kaddara tana da rawar da za ta iya takawa kuma ku ɗauki kyakkyawar hangen nesa mai kyau ga rayuwa. Karɓa shine mabuɗin.

Bugu da ƙari, kuna iya neman zama ɗaya-ɗaya don ƙarin taimako. Zan yi farin cikin taimaka muku.

Muna samuwa akan skype da tarho.

Allah ya saka muku da alkhairi a koda yaushe!
Neha Anand

Gudunmawar ku ba ta zama sadaka ba kyauta. Zai ba da damar Bonobology ta ci gaba da kawo muku sabbin bayanai da sabbin abubuwa a cikin ƙoƙarinmu na taimaka wa kowa a duniya don koyon yadda ake yin komai.

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Yada soyayya

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About The Author

Neha Anand

Neha Anand shine Daraktan Kafa, Bodhitree India- cibiyar tasha ɗaya don lafiyar tunanin mutum da walwala., Masanin ilimin halayyar ɗan adam, Mai ba da shawara kan ilimin halin ɗan adam, Kocin iyaye, NLP da Hypnotherapy Master practitioner, Advanced Life Coach, Practitioner Transactional Analysis, Mindfullness Meditation Coach, Emotional Intelligence Counseler and Practitioner 18. Ita ce Babban mai ba da shawara a Kwamitin Cin Duri da Ilimin Jima'i a Hukumar SPORTS AUTHORITY OF INDIA, STATE MINAL HEALTH SHAWARA NA UP Government da Unicef. Ta kuma kasance fitacciyar mai horar da 'yan sanda ta UP kuma ta horar da dubban jami'an Gazetted a fadin gundumomi 72 na Uttar Pradesh. Kasancewa masanin ilimin halayyar dan adam kuma ƙwararriyar ɗan kasuwa Neha ta ji cewa akwai matukar buƙatar taimako na tunani a yankunan karkara wanda ya fara NGO ɗinta Meri Pehchaan Society kuma a matsayin shugabar “Meri Pehchaan Society” ita da ƙungiyarta galibi suna aiki a kan mata da yara da samari da lafiyar hankali/Psychological. Ta samu lambar yabo daban-daban wadanda ba za a iya kirga su a yatsu ba. Kawai a 2018 ta samu fiye da 12 Awards .She Is Felicitated by Women Achievers Award By FICCI FLO 2018 and also Felicitated by Dr.Rita Bahuguna Joshi,Cabinet Minister Women and Child Welfare, A SWAYAMSIDHHA Award 2018 saboda gagarumin aikin da ta yi kan lafiyar kwakwalwa da tunani. Hakanan an ba shi lambar yabo ta Shan-e-Hindustan a Kanpur kuma Shri Brajendra Pathak Minister Minister ya ba shi lambar yabo, a matsayin lambar yabo ta Legends 2018 a cikin Oktoba 2018. An karrama ta a wurare daban-daban daga makarantu zuwa Jami'o'i lokaci zuwa lokaci. Kyaututtuka na baya-bayan nan da abubuwan ban sha'awa sune kamar haka- 1.Ficci Flo Women Achievers Award 2018 wanda Mr.Madhur Bhandarkar shahararren darektan Bollywood ya karbo. 2.Shan-e-Hindustan Award 3.Swayamsidhha Finalist 2018 felicited by Dr.Rita Bahuguna. mallika-e-Awadh 8.Execellence Award 2019 felicitated by Mrs.Swati singh,Cabinet Minister 9.Awadh Ratna Award 2019 10. lambar yabo ta Stri 2016 11. I - Kyautar Inspiration 2021 wanda Ministan Majalisar Swati Singh ya karbo. 12.Nari Shakti Samman ta gundumar 13. Shakti Sewa Samman by State MENTAL Health Helpline UP 14.Womania – ChangeMaker 2021 15. Awadh Ratna Samman 2022 ta TV bhumika Gurung 16. National Achievement Award 2023 wanda 'yar wasan TV Deepika Singh ta karrama. 17.I- Kyautar Inspiration 2023 ta Amar Ujala and We care Foundation, wanda Baby Rani Maurya Ministar Ci gaban Yara da Abinci, Uttar Pradesh ta karrama. 18. Kyautar Alamar mace ta Gidan Rediyo da Dainik Jagaran, Yuli 2023. 19.Awadh Ratna Samman 2024 ta Garv Foundation, Mallika-e-Awadh. 1.An shirya Walkathon na farko akan lafiyar hankali da yara masu buƙatu na musamman a Lucknow. Abokan cinikinta masu yawa suna ɗaukan ta fiye da haka. Hanyarta ta musamman da ban mamaki don gyara halayen ɗan adam ta sake fasalta. Ayyukanta azaman nau'i mai ƙarfi na koyarwar ruhaniya, warkarwa ta motsin rai da fahimi, da gyare-gyaren ɗabi'a. An horar da ta a karkashin fitaccen jarumin nan Dr. David (Birtaniya) da Dr.A. Doris (Jamus) a fagen NLP da Ilimin Haɓakawa. Ta kammala horaswar Tunatarwa daga ƙwararriyar British Mindfulness Society ta duniya. Ta yi aiki tare da kowane rukuni na shekaru don ba su isasshiyar jagorar tunani a matsayin mai gudanarwa. Ta kasance tana ɗaukar horon ɗabi'a kuma tana ba da isasshen tallafin horo ga 'yan sanda na UP da Dial100.Ta yi aikin Hypnotherapy cikakken lokaci, tana haɗa babban tarihinta a cikin hypnosis, Ma'amala Analysis Mindfulness tushen damuwa rage zuzzurfan tunani, ruhaniyanci, warkaswa, tunani / bincike na jiki, ba da shawara na tunani da koyawa rayuwa. Ta horar da jami'an 'yan sanda fiye da 5000 a fadin gundumomi 75 na UP ciki har da Anti Romeo squad kuma ta horar da dalibai da matasa fiye da 3000. Fuska ce ta yau da kullun akan Door darshan, Etv, agogon Indiya, Live Yau da sauransu. Don tattaunawar kai tsaye ta talabijin, tattaunawar fanni da al'amuran salon rayuwa. Ta rubuta labarai da yawa a cikin manyan jaridu kuma ta ba da tattaunawa akai-akai a gidan rediyo, Fever FM da AIR. Dangane da gagarumin jagorancinta mai ƙarfi a cikin ilimin halin ɗan adam a matsayin mai ba da shawara, Ma'aikacin Koyarwa, mai ba da shawara, kuma mai fafutuka Neha Anand ya nuna himma ga al'ummarmu. Ta ba da gudummawar da ta dace don ƙirƙirar Al'umma wacce ta kuɓuta daga lamuran tunani/cututtuka. An bayyana aikin Neha ta kasancewa ta farko a cikin ayyuka da yawa da kuma aikinta na haɓakawa da samar da wayar da kan jama'a don jin daɗin tunanin mutum da lafiyar ɗabi'a a Uttar Pradesh; shawarwarinta da ayyukan al'umma na inganta Mata da jin daɗin rai; tare da jajircewarta da mu'amalar sana'a sun shahara sosai. Ta kasance babbar ginshiƙi mai ƙarfi ga matattarar wutar lantarki 1090 tun ranar da aka haife ta. Ita ce mace daya tilo da ta horas da jami'an 'yan sanda sama da 5000 a fadin gundumomi 75 na Uttar Pradesh hannu daya ta kuma ba da horon dabi'a ga Anti Romeo Squad wanda Honourable Chief Minister of Uttar Pradesh Shri Adityanath Yogi ya gabatar da shi. Kasancewar mace ce ta gudanar da taron wayar da kan jama'a sama da 2500 na 'yan mata Angelpower1090. DGP da ADJLO da ADG Neera Rawat da shri Navniet sekera sun ba su kuma sun yaba saboda babbar gudummawar da ta bayar don horarwa da shawarwari ga wadanda abin ya shafa. Fitacciyar mai ba da shawara ce mai rikodin nasarori masu ban sha'awa. Ita ce misalan shugaba mai tasowa kuma matashin mata.