Ki te whakaaro koe kei te noho puku rātou i waenganui pō, e muku ana i ngā karere Whatsapp, ā, kāore e aro ki tō oranga, tera pea kei te taha koe e tinihanga ana. I tēnei wā, me kohikohi e koe ngā taunakitanga o te hoa rangatira tinihanga kia kaha ai tō tautohetohe.
Kāore ngā whakaaro koretake, ngā whakaaro whakakatakata rānei e whai hua ki a koe, ki tō whanaungatanga rānei. Ka kopikopiko noa tō hinengaro whakaaro nui ki ngā whakaaro pouri, ā, ka tīmata te whakararuraru i a koe. Ko te wawe o te whiwhi koe i te pono, ko te pai ake mōu.
Ina he taunakitanga āu, ehara i te mea ka pai ake tō mōhio, engari ka āwhina anō hoki i a koe ki te whakatau i ō kare ā-roto. He mamae te whakatau i te ao tūturu engari me pupuri e koe hei whakamahara i a koe anō he nui ake tō uara i tēnei. Heoi anō, ki te hē tō whakaaro, tera pea kei te tukuna e koe tō hoa me koe anō ki roto i te maha o ngā āhuatanga kino kāore pea koe e hiahia. Pānuihia atu anō mō ētahi atu take he mea nui te pupuri i ngā taunakitanga o te hoa tinihanga.
Me pēhea koe e mōhio ai kei te tinihanga tō tāne?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
I whakatau te tāne a Saloni mō ngā tau 11 ki te kī he mate hinengaro ia, ka peia atu ia i te whare, ā, ka riro i a ia te mana tiaki o ngā tamariki i te wā i whakahē a Saloni ki tana moepuku me tana hēkeretari, he tekau tau te iti iho i a ia. He maha ngā mēra, ngā pou, ngā karere me ngā pire i kitea e Saloni, he mea pea hei whakapae i roto i te kooti, engari i whakapono ia ki a ia i te wā i oatitia ai ka whakamutua e ia te katoa, kei te piri tonu tōna ngākau ki a ia me tōna whānau!
I whai wā ia ki te whakatau ko wai tana e hiahia ana kia noho tahi, ā, i whiriwhiria e ia tana hoa aroha tari me ngā tamariki. I mukua/whakangaromia e ia ngā taunakitanga katoa o tana moepuku. I te wa i tino mohio ai ia he ma tana rekoata, ka whiua e ia ia ki te panui whakarere. I roto i te kooti, i whakamatau ia he ngoikore te hinengaro o ia, a ka taea e ia te whara i a ia ano me te hunga i tona taha.
I roto i te uiuinga, i mea mai a Saloni ki ahau, "Neke atu i te 12 tau ahau kāore i kite i aku tamariki. I uaua ahau ki te kimi i ahau anō, i tōku tūranga i tēnei ao, i taku mahi. I roa te wā i mua i taku mārama ehara i ahau te he, engari ko ia."
I te tau kotahi i muri i te haere tonu o te whanaungatanga a tana tāne ki tana hoa wahine, i whakamomori a Saloni i a ia anō, ā, i ngā wā katoa ka puta te whakaaro he he nōna, he kuware, he mātau, he momona hoki ia…. Ko ēnei ngā tohu o te mura hau engari kāore i taea e ia te mōhio i te tīmatanga. Mehemea pea he taunakitanga tana mō te tinihanga i tana tāne hei tautoko i ana kereme, kua kore ia e tuku i a ia kia pēnei te whakahaere i a ia.
"Ināianei ka āwhina ahau i ngā wāhine ki te whakamana i a rātou ki te ako nui ake, kia whiwhi ai i ngā māka utu teitei ake i te kura e whakaako ana ahau. E harikoa ana ahau ki tōku ao, engari āe, e tino pouri ana ahau mō te ngaronga o aku tamariki," tana kī me te pouri i mōhio ahau kua tekau tau te pakeke.
Kaua e mahi i ngā hapa i mahia e au
"Āe, me i kore ahau e ngāwari ki te tinihanga. Āe, me i kī mai ōku mātua kia kaua e whakaaro ki taku tāne hei Atua, kia houhia te rongo ahakoa kāore ia i mahi i ngā mahi hei whakatika i ana hapa. Kua tū atu ahau ki ana kōrero teka. Āe, me i puritia e au ngā taunakitanga o tana kore whakapono, kia kore ai ia e whakamahi i tōku pouri i puta mai i ana mahi hei take ki te tahae i aku tamariki. I mahue ahau i te kore moni, i te kore kāinga, i ngā tamariki, i te kore mana, tae noa ki te whakaaro ki a au anō mō te wā roa."
'Kia ora koutou e ngā wāhine"!' I hiahia ia kia kōrero atu ahau ki ngā wāhine o reira. "Ae, ko te nuinga o ngā mahi whakaipoipo ka mate noa iho, engari me pēhea te hunga kāore e mutu? Me pēhea rānei mēnā kāore tō tāne e mutu? Me pēhea mēnā, pērā i ahau, kāore e taea e koe te whakaae, ā, ka whakatau ia ki te pei noa i a koe." nā te mea ka taea e ia.
Nā te mea kāore koe e whiwhi moni ana, ko ia e whiwhi ana. Ehara te whare i tō ingoa, engari nōna. Nā te mea kāore koe e mōhio ki ana pūkete pūtea, māu anō hoki kāore i hiahiatia"Nā te mea kāore koe e tuku ana i ō ake hokinga mai, ko ia e tuku ana. Kaua e mahi i ngā hapa i mahia e au. Kia mātau. Kia mataara. He maha ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi hei tiaki i a koe anō."
Whai muri i tētahi kōrero roa me tētahi atu kōrero ki tā mātou kaiwhakawā, a Nandish Thackar, he tohunga ki ngā take whakarere, i kitea e mātou ētahi o ngā mea me mahi me ngā mea kāore e tika ana, me ngā mea e whakaaetia ana hei taunakitanga i roto i ngā rūma whakawā o Īnia, me ngā mea kāore e whakaaetia.
I kōrero ia mō ngā tika o ngā wāhine me ngā mea e hiahiatia ana kia taea ai e rātou te kī atu i aua tika. He mea nui kia mōhio ngā wāhine ki te tiki taunakitanga mō te tinihanga o tā rātou hoa rangatira kia taea ai e rātou te whakatau pai i tā rātou take. I kōrero ahau ki ētahi kaitohutohu, ā, ko ngā kōrero e whai ake nei he huinga o ā rātou whakaaro.
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Ina kite koe i ngā tohu o te moepuku, kaua e teka ki a koe anō kāore he tohu o te moepuku
He māramatanga tō ngā wāhine. Ka mōhio koe kāore tetahi mea i te tino tika – kua tīmata pea ia ki te heu i tōna uma, kāore anō kia mahia e ia i mua, kua pukumahi rānei ia ki ngā hui o te pō. Me pēhea te mōhio mēnā kei te tinihanga tō tāne mā te whakawhirinaki ki tō pūmanawa. Tērā pea ka kitea e koe ngā tohu o te hara tinihanga i roto i a ia.
Tērā pea i rongo koe i tētahi karere i hē, i tētahi hoa i ngana ki te kōrero puku atu ki a koe, i tētahi kōrero rerekē rānei i roto i tana kōrero mō te wāhi i haere atu ai ia. Whakawhirinaki ki taua reo, kia mōhio ai koe he tika pea koe. Kaua e pupuhi atu aua kare ā-roto, kaua hoki e matapo i te aroha.
Kaua e haere noa ki a ia me ō kare ā-roto. Kohia ngā taunakitanga i te tuatahi
He uaua te whakaatu i te puremu i roto i te kooti, ā, me tino kore e taea te whakahē i ngā taunakitanga. He taunakitanga e kore e taea te whakamārama ki te 'he tangata whakaaro kino koe', ki te 'he hoa noa tāua' rānei.
E rua ngā mea ka puta ina whakapae te wahine i te tāne me te kore e ranea te tautoko.
- E whakapae ana ia i a ia, ā, e whakakahore ana ia. Ka taea e te tāne te whakama i te wahine mō te whakaaro pēnei. I mea a Tākuta Rima Mukherjee, he tohunga hinengaro, he mema hoki nō tā mātou rōpū, "Ka ruarua koe i a koe anō, ā, ka whakapono koe ki a ia. Kaua e whakahe i a koe anō mō tēnei. E aroha ana koe ki a ia, ā, ko te nuinga e hiahia ana ki te whakapono kua hē rātou. Whakaaetia ka pai tō ngākau ki a ia, engari whakamahia tō mahunga. Kia tuwhera ō kanohi me ō taringa. Ka āta tupato ia, ā, ka huna pai ake i ōna ara, engari ki te mea he rerekētanga kei roto i ana kōrero, he nui atu ngā mea kei tua atu i te mea e kitea ana e te kanohi."
- Ka whakapae ia i a ia, ā, ka whakaae ia. Ka pakaru ia, ka whakaae ki te whanaungatanga, ā, ka oati ki te whakamutu. Anō, e rua ngā mea ka taea te tupu i konei. Tērā pea ka whakamutua e ia te whanaungatanga, engari kāore pea. I ngā āhuatanga e rua, me whai taunakitanga pakari te hoa e pāngia ana hei tautoko i tana kereme, ahakoa ka whakatau ia ki te whakamahi, kāore rānei.
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Me pēhea te kohi taunakitanga mō te tinihanga o te hoa rangatira?
Me pēhea te mōhio kei te tinihanga tō tāne? Whakawhirinaki ki tō whakaaro, āe, engari kia mōhio hoki kei a koe ngā tuhinga tautoko e taea ai te tu ki roto i te kooti.
- Puritia he hautaka: Puritia he rēkoata mō ngā mahi 'i ripoatatia' e tō hoa. Tuhia ngā wā, ngā rā, ngā wāhi, ētahi atu tāngata i uru atu, ngā whakamārama i hoatu, me ētahi atu. Ahakoa ehara i te taunakitanga tika ngā kōrero waea, ka taea te noho hei taunakitanga tuarua ina tautokona e ētahi atu meka i tukuna. Ka taea tēnei te huri hei taunakitanga ā-pūtake. Whakatauritehia ngā mea i kōrerotia ki ngā pire waea, ki ētahi atu tāngata, ki ngā tauākī kāri nama, ki ngā tango moni ATM, me ētahi atu.
- Kaitirotiro tūmataiti: Utua he kaitirotiro tūmataiti, ka tiki pikitia hei taunakitanga māu. Ko tētahi tēnei o ngā ngā huarahi mohio hei hopu i tētahi hoa tinihanga
- Whakamahia te hangarau: Mai i ngā pūmanawa torotoro ki ngā taputapu aroturuki GPS, he maha ngā taputapu hangarau ka taea te whakamahi hei kohikohi taunakitanga mō te hoa rangatira tinihanga, ka taea te whakamahi i roto i ngā kōti hei taunakitanga ā-tikanga.
He aha koe me haere ai ki ēnei roa?
Ki te hē te haere o ngā mea, ka taea e tō hoa rangatira (he wahine moepuku) te whakatakoto kereme whakakino ingoa mō te whakapae i whakaarahia e koe. Ka taea hoki e te hoa tinihanga te tuku kereme whakarere me te kī he tukino hinengaro, tinana rānei, me ētahi atu momo tutu i mua i te wa e taea ai e te patunga tuturu te kohikohi i ona whakaaro.
I roto i tēnei āhuatanga, me pēhea koe e mōhio ai kei te tinihanga tō tāne, ā, ka waiho hei take tuarua tēnei nā te mea ko tō raruraru matua ko te whakahaere i te kereme. Koia te take he mea tino nui te whakaatu i ngā taunakitanga kua oti te tuhi.
I hopukina e tēnei tangata, me kī tātou ko R, tana wahine e noho tata ana ki tana hoa pai. I kōrerotia e te taraiwa ngā mea katoa mā te hoatu ki te tāne te wāhi noho o te whare e tūtaki ai rāua. I a R e ako ana ki te whakaae ki tana wahine, ā, kei roto tonu i te wā whakapae me te whara, ka tangohia e tana wahine, e D, ngā tamariki, ā, ngaro atu ana. I te aonga ake ka tae mai ngā pirihimana ki tō rāua whare me te wārana hopu mō te whakamamae me te tutu ā-whare. E ono tau te roa o tēnei, ā, i muri iho ka hoatu e R he whakarere me te utu nui ki tana wahine kia kite anō i āna tamariki. Nō te whai wāhi, ka mukua e ia ngā taunakitanga katoa mōna. hononga taikahaI whakarērea e te taraiwa te mahi i muri i te utunga nui ki a ia e te hoa aroha whai rawa o tana wahine hei pupuri i a ia kia noho puku. Nō te mea i pōuri te ngaronga o te mana tiaki o āna tamariki e te tāne.
He aha ngā taunakitanga e kīia ana he hoa tinihanga kei te moe tāne, kei waho hoki i te marena
Tērā pea he raruraru ngā taunakitanga o te hoa tinihanga nā te mea kāore koe e hiahia ki te hē i te mea hē, ki te whakaputa whakaaro whakarihariha. Engari he aratohu anō hei whai māu kia mārama ai koe ki ngā taunakitanga me ngā mea kāore. Me tino tupato, me tino mārama hoki te tangata i roto i āna rangahau.
- Te pangia e te mate tāne tinihanga e te hoa rangatira
- Ngā whaki me ngā whakaae – mēnā ka whakaae te hoa rangatira ki te puremu i roto i tētahi kōrero kua hopukina
- Ngā taunakitanga o te haerenga ki tētahi whare puremu
- Te whānautanga o tētahi tamaiti pōriro/pūrongo whakamātautau pāpā o taua tamaiti
- Ka taea te whakaaro ko ngā whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, ngā whakaahua, ngā ataata me te wahine tāne he taunakitanga. Nā te mea he tino uaua ki te tiki taunakitanga mō rātou i roto i te mahi, i ētahi whaki tika rānei, ka taea te whakaatu i te puremu mā te whakaputa taunakitanga whakapae pērā i ngā taunakitanga ā-pūtake. Ko ngā karere kōrerorero e kī ana i ngā kōrero moepuku i runga i a WhatsApp, Facebook, tae atu ki a Google Talk he taunakitanga e whakaaetia ana, engari me tautokona e ngā taunakitanga tuatahi pērā i te whakaaturanga a ngā kaiwhakaatu.
Kia mahara: Ahakoa kua mukua ngā waea e te hoa tinihanga, ka taea e te tangata e pāngia ana te tono ki te kooti kia waea atu mō ngā tuhinga taipitopito waea (CDR) hei whakaatu i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero. Mō ngā rīhiti utu hōtēra, me tono ki ngā pirihimana kia tirotirohia. Mēnā he FIR, ki te kore ngā pirihimana e mahi pai, ka taea e te kooti te wawao me te tuku i aua whakahau.
E kī ana a Thackar, "Mēnā kua takiuru te tāne ki roto i tētahi hōtēra me tana hoa aroha, ā, i noho tahi rāua i te rūma kotahi, he tohu tēnā mō te tinihanga a te hoa rangatira, me te puremu. Ka taea e koe te whakapā atu ki te hōtēra me te tiki i ngā taunakitanga o te noho me te rīhiti utu. Heoi, mēnā i takiuru rāua ki roto i ngā rūma motuhake, kāore e taea te whakamana i te puremu."
- Ka taea hoki e ngā īmēra whakairoiro e whakaū ana i te moepuku i waho o te marena, te rārangi haerenga rānei a te hoa rangatira ki te kāinga o te hoa hou te whakaatu he whakapae tēnei.
Kia mahara: Ngāna ki te tuku i ngā kōrerorero ki te īmēra kua rēhitatia ki te nama, kātahi ka whakawhiti ki tō īmēra. Mēnā rānei, tukuna atu ki te rokiroki kapua e wātea ana ki a koe.
- Ngā ataata o ngā tāngata e rua e pā ana, he hoa piripono, he aha atu rānei, e whakaatu ana i ētahi hononga
Ki te hiahia koe ki te whai i ētahi atu huarahi, anei ētahi taupānga hei hopu i te tangata tinihanga ka taea hoki e koe te whakamātau.
Te pānui e pā ana: He aha ngā hua o te whanaungatanga i waenganui i te hunga kua mārenatia?
He aha ehara i te tohu o te tinihanga o te hoa rangatira
- Ngā kōrero roa i runga waea, ki te kore rātou e kōrero mō te mahi piripono, ā, kua oti hoki te mahi.
- Ko ngā taunakitanga kei roto rātou i te tāone kotahi i taua wā, engari kāore i te rūma kotahi.
Tērā atu anō ētahi huarahi me ngā tohutohu hei whakaaroaro māu ina rapu huarahi hei whakatau i te hoa tāne tinihanga. Ki te hiahia koe ki te whakarere, me mōhio koe ki ēnei e whai ake nei.
E mea ana a Nandish Thacker, "Ko te puremu e whakaarohia ana i raro i te Hindu Marriage Act, 1955, ko tētahi o ngā take mō te whakarere:
Wāhanga 13. Te Wehenga- (1) Ko te marena i whakatapua, i mua atu rānei i te tīmatanga o te Ture, i muri mai rānei, ka taea te whakakore i runga i te pitihana i tukuna e te tāne, e te wahine rānei, mā te ture whakarere i runga i te take ko te taha kē-
(i) whai muri i te whakapūmautanga o te marena, kua moe tāne, wahine rānei ki tētahi atu tangata ehara i tana hoa rangatira…
E mea ana te Wāhanga 497 o te Ture Whiu Inia (IPC):
Ko te tangata e moe tāne ana ki tētahi tangata e mōhio ana ia, e whakapono ana rānei he wahine ia nā tētahi atu tāne, me te kore whakaae, me te kore āwhina rānei a taua tangata, ko taua moe tāne ehara nei i te hara tāwharau, kua hara ia i te hara puremu, ā, ka whiua ki te whare herehere o tētahi o ngā momo mō te wā e rima tau te roa, ki te utu moni rānei, ki ngā utu e rua rānei. I roto i taua āhuatanga, kāore te wahine e whiua hei kaiwhakahē.”
Ka taea e te tangata te tono tautoko ahakoa e tatari ana kia puta te whakarere mōna ake me ngā tamariki i raro i te wāhanga 125 o te CRPc.
Mō ētahi atu pātai, ka taea e koe te tuhituhi ki tō mātou rōia whakarere i konei.
FAQs
Tuatahi, me kōrero koe ki a rātou. He mea nui kia aro atu koe ki te raruraru, me te kōrero ki tō hoa rangatira i mua i te whai i ngā mahi tino uaua. Kātahi, tiakina aua taunakitanga, tikina he rōia, ā, akohia me pēhea te whakamahi i aua taunakitanga i roto i te kōti hei whakarere.
He maha ngā huarahi. Pānuihia ēnei ngā tohu whakatūpato o te tāne tinihanga i konei kia mōhio atu ai.
15 Ngā Tohu kei te Tinihanga tō Tāne i a Koe me tētahi Hoa Mahi
Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
He tino pai te rangahau me te tuhi o tēnei pou.