Ki te nuinga o te tangata, ko te tinihanga i roto i te marena te hara nui rawa atu. Ina piri koe ki tētahi, me noho motuhake koe, me noho pono hoki – he mea kua whakairohia ki te kōhatu mai anō i ngā wā o mua. Engari, e whakaatu ana ngā tatauranga mō te tinihanga i tētahi atu mea. Kia ngana tātou ki te mārama ki ngā whakaaro hē whānui e pā ana ki te tinihanga – ki ngā pūrākau me ngā meka rānei mō te tinihanga!
Ahakoa he maha ngā horopaki o ngā tatauranga mō ia āhuatanga o ngā tohu ahurea, iwi, pūtea me te pāpori – e whakaatu ana rātou he nui ake te kitea o te tinihanga i tā tātou e whakaaro nei. E whakaatu ana hoki ngā meka pūtaiao e ahu mai ana i ngā rangahau mō te tinihanga, kāore i te rite te pānga o te tinihanga ki ngā whanaungatanga katoa. Haunga tēnā, he rerekē ngā taumata me ngā āhua o te tinihanga.
Ko te pātai tēnei: e mōhio ana rānei tātou ki ngā mea katoa e tika ana kia mōhiotia mō te puremu?
20 Ngā Kōrero Pakiwaitara me ngā Mea Pono mō te Tinihanga i roto i te Marena
Ripanga o Ihirangi
E ai ki Te Whare Rangahau Pew, neke atu i te 90% o ngā Amerikana e whakaaro ana he mea hē te puremu, engari tata ki te 30% ki te 40% o ngā Amerikana e tinihanga ana i ā rātou hoa. I tētahi atu ako e ai ki a YouGov.com, 19% o ngā kaiwhakautu i kī kua uru rātou ki ngā mahi moepuku i waho atu i ō rātou whanaungatanga o nāianei.
I roto i te ahurea rongonui, whakaponokore ko te 'mutunga' te tikanga ina tae mai ki ngā whanaungatanga. Ahakoa i roto i te take o ngā tino tangata rongonui - mai i a John F. Kennedy ki a Pirinihi Diana ki a Bill Clinton - he kino te whakatau a te marea, ā, he tere te whiu. Engari ki te hoki whakamuri koe ka titiro ki ia take me te whakaaro pono, he maha ngā mea ka taea te ako.
Anei ētahi pūrākau me ngā meka mō te tinihanga i roto i te marena, ka meinga pea koe kia ruarua i ō mōhiotanga katoa mō te puremu.
1. Pūrākau: Ka pakaru tonu te marena i ngā mahi taikaha
He tino mamae te tinana o te tāne, te wahine rānei e puremu ana, engari ina whakakitea te whanaungatanga, ka rerekē ngā tauhohenga. Ko tētahi o ngā āhuatanga hinengaro whakamere mō te tinihanga, he maha ngā wā ka hara, ka hae rānei ngā hoa rangatira kua tinihangatia mō te hara a tā rātou hoa rangatira.
Nō reira, he pakiwaitara te kī he pakaru tonu te marena i ngā mahi moepuku. Mā te mārama me te murunga hara ka kaha ake te whanaungatanga i waenganui i te tokorua ā muri ake nei. Ahakoa ehara te tinihanga i te mahi e murua rawatia ana, i ētahi wā e rua ngā taha o ngā mea katoa, ā, he huarahi pai te whakarongo ki te tīmata anō.
Nō reira, i roto i te nuinga o ngā wā, ko te tangata tinihanga pea murua e te hoa rangatira. I tētahi atu taha, tērā pea ka arahina atu ki ngā kōti whakarere.
Ko te uaua o te tukanga whakarere, te mataku mō te urupare a te hapori, te heke mai o ngā tamariki, me ērā atu, ko ētahi o ngā take e ora tonu ai ētahi marena i ngā mahi pōrearea. Nō reira, ahakoa ka taea e ngā mahi pōrearea te whakakorikori i ngā turanga o te marena, he nui te ōrau o ngā marena e ora tonu ana i te kore whakapono.
Meka: Ahakoa kua uru tetahi o te hoa ki tētahi mahi whakaipoipo i waho o te marena, ka puta tonu te wikitoria i ētahi whanaungatanga. He mea takitahi tēnei, ā, e whakawhirinaki ana ki te āhua hinengaro o te hunga kei roto i ēnei whanaungatanga. Ki te mea he manawanui, he take hoki te tangata ki te whakapono ka taea e rātou te neke atu i te tinihanga, he maha ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e hiahia ana ki te whai i te rongoā me te haere tonu i ō rātou oranga. E ai ki tētahi rangahau hou whakahaerehia Heoi, 16% anake o ngā whanaungatanga ka taea te ora tonu i roto i te whanaungatanga puku.
2. Pūrākau: Ka roa ake, ka kaha ake hoki ngā mahi whakararuraru e pakaru ai te marena
Ko te nuinga o te hunga e uru ana ki ngā mahi moepuku ka mataku ina tae ki te wā e pakaru ai tā rātou hononga o nāianei. Nō reira, ki te pakaru te marena i te kore pono, ko te tikanga ka u tonu te hoa tinihanga ki tā rātou hononga hou, tika?
Kāore rawa. I roto i ngā āhuatanga maha, ko ngā hononga e kiia ana he kaha ake ina pakaru te marena, he pakiwaitara noa iho. Ko te nuinga ka memeha haere i te wa e memeha ai te harikoa o te hononga. Ina tae ki te piripono ki tētahi atu me te kore e harikoa ki te oma haere, ki te huna rānei, ko te nuinga o te tangata ka hoki whakamuri.
Ko te hara, te tapanga he tangata puremu, me te whakatau kino e pā ana ki tēnei mahi, ka pā kino ki a ia. Me tino kaha te moepuku i waho o te marena kia roa ai te mau tonu i ngā whakaaro kino me te mamae. Ehara i te mea ko ngā moepuku katoa i waho o te marena ka taea te noho mo te wa katoa, ka mutu rānei hei marena tuarua.
Meka: E 5-7% noa iho o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e moe tāne ana ka ora tonu i muri i te mutunga o ā rātou marena me ā rātou hoa. He ōrau kino tēnei hei whakamarie i a koe anō mēnā ko koe te tangata e moe tāne ana.
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3. Pūrākau: Ka roa te noho marena o ngā tāne tinihanga
He ātete ētahi tāne, he ngā kaipahua raupapaAhakoa he hononga pumau, pumau, kāore he rerekētanga ki ō rātou kanohi tirotiro. Engari he whakapono kē tērā, ko ngā tāne e tinihanga ana i te taha huna ka noho tonu i roto i te marena mō te wā roa.
Nā te mea pea ka ngana rātou ki te aro nui rawa atu, kia ngaro ai pea tō rātou hara tinihanga. Kāore rawa he mea kē atu i te pono. He iti noa te tūponotanga ka mau tonu he whanaungatanga hauora, inā koa mēnā he hītori o te puremu tō rātou.
He kōrero pakiwaitara noa iho te kōrero mō te noho roa o ngā tāne tinihanga i roto i te marena, me te kī rānei kei te harikoa rātou i roto i ā rātou whanaungatanga. E kore rawa e taea e te taumahatanga o te hara me ngā tikanga utu nui te hoko i te harikoa o te tangata. Kāore e taea te whakaaro ki tētahi whanaungatanga kāore he turanga pakari o te whakawhirinaki me te whakamarie hei tauira hei whai.
Meka: Kāore he taunakitanga, he kōrero pono rānei mō tētahi hoa tāne, tāne rānei e tinihanga ana, e whakaatu ana ka taea e ia te whakapai ake i te kounga o te whanaungatanga tuatahi. Engari kaua e tinihanga mēnā kei te haere tonu.
4. Pūrākau: Ko te tinihanga i roto i te marena ka puta tonu mai i te kukume ā-ira tangata
He mea nui te hiahia ā-ira tangata ki tētahi atu ehara i te hoa rangatira i te tīmatanga o tētahi hononga i waho o te marena. Heoi, ehara i te mea koinei anake te take. He maha ngā wā ka puta ngā whanaungatanga nā te piripono o ngā kare ā-roto. Koia te take me mahi te tangata whakatau i ngā raruraru kare ā-roto o tā rātou hoa rangatira.
Ki te whakakīia e te tangata tētahi āputa, e whakatutukihia rānei tētahi hiahia kāore e puta mai i roto i tā rāua marena o nāianei, ka taea e tēnei te arahi ki tētahi hononga kare ā-roto kaha. Kei muri i te āhua tinana, kei reira te hiahia kare ā-roto, nō reira ehara i te moepuku anake te take e kotiti ke ai te tangata.
Ki te mea kei te whakaaro te hoa o te whanaungatanga kua warewarehia, kua whakamahia, kua warewarehia, ka huri pea rātou ki ngā huarahi tuarua. He maha tonu ā rātou rapu i taua take kotahi hei ara ake i ia ata kia whai hua ai anō. Nō reira, ehara i te mea ko te tinihanga i roto i te marena te take o te hiahia moepuku, ā, he pakiwaitara noa iho te ritenga kē.
Meka: I roto i tētahi rangahau tata nei, e 20% o ngā tāne e moepuku ana i kī he mea hei whakatutuki i ō rātou hiahia kare ā-roto, ehara i te mea ā-tinana. 14% i mahi i tēnei hei kukume i te aro o tā rātou hoa.
5. Meka: Ka taea e ngā wāhine te tinihanga i ngā wā katoa pērā i ngā tāne
He mea rerekē engari ko te tinihanga i roto i te marena he mea hono tonu ki te tāne. E whakaarohia ana he nui ake te pono o te wahine i te tāne i roto i te whanaungatanga. Me tāpiri atu ētahi tatauranga mō te kore whakapono ki konei. E ai ki ngā tatauranga i whakaputaina i roto i te Tuhinga o mua, 57% o ngā tāne katoa i whakaae kua takahia e rātou te whakaponokore i tētahi wā, ā, 54% o ngā wāhine anō hoki i whakaae i taua mea anō.
I roto i ngā tāne kua mārenatia, e 22% o ngā tāne kua mārenatia i whakaae kua moe tāne rātou, ā, he rite tonu te ahua mō te 14% o ngā wāhine kua mārenatia. I roto i ngā kupu poto, ahakoa e kitea ana he nui ake te hiahia o ngā tāne ki te tinihanga, he rite tonu te kaha o ngā wāhine. Ko te hunga e kī ana ko te tāne te take nui ake o te pakaru o te marena, kāore i te mōhio ki te āhua o te mea tūturu, ā, me tirotiro i ngā tatauranga. Ka taea e ngā wāhine te tinihanga i ngā wā katoa pērā i ngā tāne, ā, he pono tēnā.
He mea nui kia mōhio koe ki ngā kōrero pēnei mō tētahi hoa wahine, wahine rānei e tinihanga ana, kia kore ai koe e wareware ki ngā kōrero tuku iho. ngā tohu whakatūpato o te tinihanga.
6. Meka: E tautoko ana te ahurea rongonui i te tinihanga i roto i te marena
Ae, e whakahawea ana te hapori ki te hunga e kitea ana e tinihanga ana i roto i te marena. Engari koinei te mea whakakatakata. Ahakoa te hiahia o te katoa ki te whakapae i te tūāpapa matatika teitei, he maha ngā wā ka whakanuia e te ahurea rongonui te puremu.
Whakaarohia ngā whakaaturanga pouaka whakaata, ngā kiriata me ngā pukapuka. Mai anō i ngā rā o Harikoa Fatal ki ngā whakaaturanga tukutuku o nāianei pēnei i Te hiahia pouri, ka whakawhiwhia te tinihanga ki te āhua o te ataahua me te ātaahua o te ira tangata. E mea ana te ahurea rongonui he mea whakamere te whakamātau i te hua rāhui.
I te ao o Netflix me PrimeVideo, ka taea te mātaki i ngā whakaaturanga me ngā kiriata katoa mā te pā o te maihao, tae atu ki ngā mea e whakaoho ana i ngā whakaaro hē. Ngā whanaungatanga turekore, te huna haere, te whakatau kino i te wā e haurangi ana - he āhua "pai" ēnei mahi katoa ki te whakatupuranga hou. Mā te waihanga i ēnei whakaaro ki roto i ngā hinengaro o te hunga rangatahi, kua noho hei mea pono te tautoko a te ahurea rongonui i te tinihanga i roto i te marena.
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7. Meka: Ka taea e ngā marena katoa te taka ki te tinihanga
Kāore he marena e ātete ana ki te puremu. Ahakoa ngā whanaungatanga tino pumau, ka pakaru pea nā tetahi take. Koia te take ehara i te mea ko te aroha anake te mea nui engari me pupuri tonu hoki. Me atawhai e koe te marena kia ora ai. koa me te kaha ā, he ātete ki ngā whakamātautau.
Ahakoa he pono ka taea e ngā marena katoa te taka ki te tinihanga, he huarahi tonu hei whakaiti i te tūponotanga o tēnā.
Ko te tikanga o tēnei ko te whakapau i te wā ki tō hoa rangatira, te tiaki i ā rāua hiahia, te whai huarahi whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tuwhera, me te pupuri i te whakaute tetahi ki tetahi. Ina koa i tēnei ao matihiko kua ngāwari haere te tinihanga i roto i te marena, me whakapau kaha koe ki te pupuri i te mura o te aroha.
8. Pūrākau: Mā te whaki i te tinihanga i roto i te marena ka taea te whakaora
Ko te nuinga o te iwi he pai ake ki te whakarongo ki te kōrero mō te puremu a tā rātou hoa rangatira mai i te waha o te hōiho i tētahi atu puna. He tokomaha te hunga e hinga ana i te te hara ina tinihanga rātou e whakapono ana hoki mā te whaki i tā rātou 'hara' ka māmā ake te murunga hara a tā rātou hoa.
Engari, ehara i te mea pērā. Ahakoa e hiahia ana mātou ki te whakaū i tēnei, ko te pono ko tēnei kīwaha 'mā te whaki i te tinihanga ka taea te whakaora i tō marena' he kōrero pakiwaitara noa iho. Kāore te mamae e memeha mēnā ka rongo tika koe i ngā mahi tinihanga a tō hoa aroha mai i a ia. Ko te tauhohenga ka whakawhirinaki katoa ki te āhua o te tukatuka a te hoa kāore i te whai wāhi ki te rongo.
Ko tētahi tēnei o ngā kōrero mō te tinihanga i roto i ngā whanaungatanga me whakaae koe, me te mōhio hoki ki aua kōrero mēnā kei te whakaaro koe kia takahi i te rohe o te pono.
Meka: Kāore pea te iwi e whakautu mai i ngā wā katoa e rite ana ki tāu e hiahia ana, ā, kāore he tatauranga e whakaatu ana ko te whaki hara he huarahi tino tika hei whakaora i tō marena. I ētahi wā, ka kino ake te āhuatanga.
9. Pūrākau: Ehara te tuku karere kuputuhi, te moepuku rānei i te tinihanga
He tinihanga te tuku karere kuputuhi? E kiia ana rānei he tinihanga te whai wāhi atu ki ngā kōrerorero moepuku, te whai hononga rānei ki tētahi mā te hangarau (ahakoa kāore he moepuku i te ao tūturu)? Āe, kāore anō kia whakatauhia he aha te take.
Heoi, he pakiwaitara noa iho te kī, ehara te tuku karere kuputuhi, te moepuku ipurangi rānei i te tinihanga. Ko tētahi whanaungatanga e whakawhanakehia ana i waho o te hanganga o tō whanaungatanga pumau, he tinihanga, inā koa mēnā kāore i whakaaetia e te hoa, i te huna, i te whakama rānei. Ka rite tonu ngā pānga o tētahi hononga mariko ki tētahi hononga tūturu.
He mea nui kia whakahuatia ētahi kōrero whakamere mō te tinihanga me tōna whānui haere: ko te taumahatanga ā-ira tangata i te ao mariko ka arahi pinepine ki ngā hara tūturu. Ko te mea ka tīmata hei takaro noa, ka huri pea i roto i tētahi wā hei moepuku nui rawa atu.
Haunga tēnā, ko te tapuwae matihiko ka puta i a koe i roto i te tuku karere kuputuhi, i te taatai ipurangi rānei — te tohatoha i ngā whakaahua tahanga, i ngā ataata whakaipoipo me ērā atu mea — ka taea te whakamahi hē e te tangata i tērā pito, ka arahi atu ki ngā raruraru uaua rawa atu i ngā hua o te tinihanga i tō kōrua marena.
Meka: Ko te nuinga o ngā hoa i pāngia e te tinihanga ipurangi i kī mai i te mea kāore rātou i arohia, kāore hoki i te manaakitia, kāore hoki i te kitea i roto i te whanaungatanga. Koinei tonu te āhua o te tangata mēnā he hononga tūturu ā-tinana tō rātou hoa ki tētahi atu. Nō reira, he maha ngā wā ka whakatauhia ko ngā hononga tūturu ā-tinana i waho o te marena ka puta he hua ōrite. Nō reira, ko te ipurangi me te tuku karere kuputuhi he rite tonu ki te tinihanga.
10. Meka: Ka roa ētahi mahi mō ngā tau
Ahakoa kāore pea e kiia he hononga 'tāpiri' ki te marena, ka roa ake pea ētahi hononga i hangaia i waho o te marena i te marena tonu. Tērā pea kei roto i tēnei hononga ngā āhuatanga katoa o te marena hauora – te aroha, te manaaki, te aroha noa, te taatai, engari kāore he mowhiti.
Ahakoa te mamae o te hoa rangatira i roto i te marena pumau, i ētahi wā ka nui ake te maha o ngā tau i noho tahi ai rāua i roto i te marena. Ahakoa he mahi hē, he mahi kore tikanga hoki, he pono tonu ka roa ētahi mahi mō ngā tau.
Mena he hononga tauutuutu tā ngā hoa e rua, ā, kua whakaae rātou kāore pea e taea te marena ture, ka taea e rāua te noho tahi mō ngā tau maha, ā, ka whai hononga anō hoki. te moe tāne ki waho o te marena mō te wa katoa. Hei tauira, ko Piriniha Charles rāua ko Camilla, i mau tonu tā rāua hononga ā-ira i roto i ō rāua marena.
11. Pūrākau: Ko te tikanga o te moepuku he raruraru te marena
He ngāwari te whakakore i te whanaungatanga i waenganui i te moepuku nā te raruraru o te marena. He maha ngā tāngata e puremu ana e whakamārama ana i tēnei mahi mā te whakahua i ngā raruraru i roto i ā rātou whanaungatanga. Engari, kāore te tinihanga i roto i te marena e puta tonu mai nā te mea he hapa kei roto.
He maha ngā wā ka puta ngā mahi moepuku i te nui o te hiahia moepuku, te whakamatautauranga ki te whakaipoipo noa, nā te mea e tino mōhio ana rātou kāore rātou e mau, hei whai i te whakahihiri, hei whakaaro noa rānei he taitamariki, he hiahia anō hoki. Kia maumahara WhakakoreAhakoa tana marena ki a Richard Gere, he wahine atawhai, ka uru atu a Diane Lane ki tētahi hononga werawera!
Nō reira, kāore i te tika te whakapae i te marena mēnā ka whakatau te hoa ki te moe tāne ki tua atu i te marena. I ētahi wā, kāore e taea e te tangata te ārai i ō rātou ake āwangawanga, ā, ka taka ki te tinihanga. I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, he pakiwaitara noa iho te kī he raruraru te marena nā te moe tāne.
Meka: I whakahaerehia e te American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy tētahi rangahau ā-motu, ā, i kitea ai e 15% o ngā wāhine kua mārenatia me te 25% o ngā tāne kua mārenatia e hanga hononga i waho o te mārenatanga ahakoa he pakiwaitara noa iho tā rātou mārenatanga. Nō reira, ka noho hoki ngā mārenatanga harikoa hei patunga o te puremu.
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12. Pūrākau: Kāore e taea e ngā tāngata puremu te noho hei mātua pai
Kāore he pānga o ngā pūkenga mātua ki te hiahia o te tangata ki te moe tāne. He mātua pai pea te tangata engari kāore pea e aro ki tā rātou hoa rangatira e ārahi ana i a rātou ki roto i ngā ringa o tētahi atu. Ahakoa he pai ngā tamariki hei matau mō te noho tonu i roto i te marena, kāore e ranea hei pupuri i a rātou kia noho marena. He kōrero pouri noa iho tēnei mō te tinihanga i roto i ngā whanaungatanga e whakakahoretia tonutia ana e te tangata.
Ae, ahakoa kāore te mātua e tika ana i ngā wā katoa i roto i tōna ao, he tangata anō hoki ia, kaua e tumanakohia kia tino tika. Kāore he pānga o te kore whakapono ki te whakatipu tamariki, ā, he pakiwaitara te kōrero 'kāore e taea e te hunga puremu te noho hei mātua pai' me whakarērea.
He maha ngā wā e whakaponohia ana ko te mātua, he kawenga wā-katoa, kāore e tuku i te tangata kia rapu i tētahi atu wāhi mō te makona engari i ēnei rā, he he kōrerorero WhatsApp noa iho te tawhiti o te mahi a te hoa!
Meka: Kāore rawa he ture i roto i te pukapuka e kī ana ko te tangata kāore e taea te noho harikoa i roto i te marena, e kore rawa e taea e ia te noho harikoa i roto i te whanaungatanga me tāna tamaiti. He whakakatakata ēnei whakaaro, ā, he whakapae teka.
13. Kōrero Pakiwaitara: He pai ake te whakaatu i ngā mea katoa mō te tinihanga i roto i te marena
Ahakoa he mea pai te whaki i tētahi mahi puremu, i ētahi wā, i runga anō i te āhuatanga, he pai ake te noho puku.
Ki te mutu rānei tētahi mahi whakaipoipo, ā, e tino mōhio ana koe kāore koe e hoki anō ki tō hoa aroha, ka taea te kī he upoko kati tēnei, kāore e tika kia mōhio tō hoa rangatira. He rite tonu ki te teka, engari ki te mea ka nui ake te mamae i puta mai i tētahi whaki hara, he aha koe ka whakanuia ai?
Kaua ngā kōrero pakiwaitara e whakatairanga ana i te whakakitenga o te tinihanga i roto i te marena e whakaaetia noatia, engari me paunatia ki ngā āhuatanga o te tangata ake kia tika ai te whakatau.
Meka: Kei ētahi whare e kōrero ana mō te wehi o te tutu ā-whare me te taiao kino o te kāinga. He mea tino rerekē ēnei āhuatanga ina kore te tangata e whakapuaki i tana moepuku ki tana hoa. Ahakoa ko te huarahi pai ko te pono, he koura anō hoki te wahangu.
14. Meka: He kōwhiringa te kore whakapono
Ka taea e koe te whiriwhiri kia noho pono. Ka taea e koe te whiriwhiri kia kotiti ke. Ae, nāu te whiriwhiri. He pono he whiriwhiri te kore pono. Kāore i te maha ngā wā ka puta te tinihanga i roto i ngā marena nā te mea i akiakihia koe ki roto. Ahakoa he maha ngā whakamatautauranga me ngā whai wāhitanga ki te rapu i te ahuareka i waho o tō marena, ko te tuku atu ki roto i aua mea nāu anake te whiriwhiri.
Ahakoa kei roto koe i te pouri te faaipoiporaa pouri, ka taea e koe te whiriwhiri kia wehe atu, kia mahi rānei i taua mea. Kāore koe e hiahia ki te whai hononga ā-ira ki tētahi atu. Nō reira, ehara te kore pono i te mea tūturu, engari he kōwhiringa whai whakaaro nā tō hinengaro.
Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te ora i te tinihanga i roto i te whanaungatanga? 8 ngā huarahi hei whakatau i te raruraru!
15. Meka: He wā uaua te hoa rangatira i tinihangatia
Kāore he mea ngāwari ki te whakakite i te tinihanga i roto i te marena. Ko tētahi o ngā wero tino uaua ka pā ki tētahi marena. Ko te huringa o te hoa rangatira kua tinihangatia ko te whawhai a te tangata ki te tangata puremu, te karo rānei i a rātou. Koinei te wā tino uaua mō te hoa rangatira kua tinihangatia, ā, he nui te wā e hiahiatia ana kia ora ai rātou; he pono tēnei.
Nā te whānuitanga o ngā kare ā-roto e pā ana ki ngā hoa kāore i te whai wāhi ina kitea kua pakaru te marena. Mai i te whakakorekore ki te pouri ki te whakapae i a rātou anō, ka pāngia rātou e te te nui o te whakamamae i mua i te whakaae whakamutunga ki te pono.
16. Pūrākau: E kore tō hoa e kotiti ke mena he pai tō kōrua oranga moepuku
He pakiwaitara te kōrero, mā te oranga moepuku pai ka kaha ake te whakapau kaha o te tāne, o te wahine rānei ki te marena. E ai ki te kōrero i runga ake nei, ko te moepuku tētahi o ngā take maha – ahakoa he take nui – he aha te take e kotiti ke ai te tangataHe tokomaha te hunga e kite ana he hoha te marena kotahi i muri i tētahi wā.
Ahakoa ka ngana rātou ki te whakarei ake i tō rātou oranga moepuku, kāore he taurangi e kore e arahi ki te hiahia ki tētahi atu tangata. Ina koa i roto i ngā taiohi e ora tere ana, e noho pōrearea ana, he iti ake te whakahē mō te tinihanga i roto i te marena, i roto rānei i te whanaungatanga pumau.
Meka: E ai ki ngā rangahau, e 20% anake o ngā tāne e tinihanga ana nā te koretake o te marena. Ko te toenga 80% he maha ngā take, mai i te koretake o te kare ā-roto, te āwangawanga, te rapu utu, me ētahi atu.
17. Meka: Ka pā te tinihanga ki ngā akomanga me ngā ahurea
Tērā te whakaaro hē e mea ana he mea noa ake te tinihanga i roto i te marena i waenga i te hunga whai rawa me te hunga rongonui. Ina hoki, ko ngā mahi tinihanga i roto i te hapori rangatira te mea e hopu ana i te whakaaro o te marea i ētahi atu, engari ko te mea pono he mea noa te puremu puta noa i ngā ira tangata, i ngā rōpū tau, i ngā akomanga pāpori-ōhanga me ngā ahurea.
Ae, he rerekē pea te whakaae ki te puremu i ia whenua ki ia whenua – hei tauira, e mōhiotia ana te iwi Wīwī he ngāwari ake ō rātou whakaaro ki te puremu i ngā Amerikana. Engari he mea noa tēnei puta noa i ngā wāhi katoa, mai i ngā hapori tuku iho ki ngā hapori hou. Nō reira, kāore he pānga o ēnei whakaaro whakahāwea ki te puremu, ā, ko te hunga e kī ana i tēnā he pai ki te whakapono ki ēnei pūrākau.
18. Pūrākau: He takitahi te nuinga o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine
He whakanui, he hiahia hoki te marena kotahi i roto i te nuinga o ngā ahurea, ā, he mea whakarite hoki e te whakapono, engari ehara i te mea e whakaaetia ana te marena kotahi e te katoa. Ko tētahi o ngā meka nui mō te tinihanga i roto i ngā whanaungatanga ko ehara te tangata i te tangata kotahi te hoa rangatira i te āhua tūturuHe hanganga pāpori te marena kotahi, ā, he uaua ake ki ētahi te whai i taua tikanga i ētahi atu.
Waihoki, ko te noho takitahi, ehara i te mea ka mutu noa te hiahia ki ētahi atu i tua atu i tō hoa. Mena kei roto koe i tētahi hononga takitahi motuhake, me whakatū e koe he rohe mō ngā mea e whakaaetia ana, me ngā mea kāore e whakaaetia.
Nō reira, he pakiwaitara te kōrero he takitahi te tāne me te wahine, heoi, koinei te ara pai hei haere māu. Ki te kore, ka taea e ia whanaungatanga te heke ki raro i te pari pahekeheke.
Meka: 17% noa iho o ngā ahurea tangata katoa he kotahi noa te tāne me te wahine, engari he nui tonu te hunga e whakapono ana ki te pūnaha maha-tāne, te maha-wahine rānei. Kāore tō tātou whakapapa e kōrero ana mō te kotahi-tāne tino, engari ahakoa i taua wā, i whakarite ngā tāne me ngā wāhine i ngā whakaritenga mō te noho tahi mō te wā roa.
19. Pūrākau: He pai ngā mahi ā-pāremata mō te marena
Ka whai hua te moepuku ki te marenaHe ariā tino pai tēnei e kī ana, ki te ora te tokorua i tētahi hononga ā-ira, ka kaha ake rāua. Nā te mea pea kua mōhio rāua ki ngā mea kua ngaro i a rāua, ā, ka whakapau kaha anō rāua ki te tiaki i taua hononga. Kāore rawa!
He mahi huna te puremu, he nui ngā kōrero teka me te huna i ngā kōrero pono. Tērā pea ka taea e te tokorua te muru i te hara, ka whakatau ki te waiho i muri i a rāua, engari he tino tūturu te āputa e hangaia ana e ia. Kāore he painga o te mamae, te kino me te whakapae ka ara ake ā muri ake nei.
Ko tētahi o ngā āhuatanga hinengaro e kore e taea te whakahē ko te pānga ki te hinengaro o ngā hoa e rua, ā, ka huri i te whanaungatanga ake ake. Ae, ki te tika te whakahaere, ka āwhina pea i te tokorua kia kaha ake i mua. Engari ka taea tēnā mā te whakapau kaha ki te whakapai ake i te whanaungatanga. Kāore koe e hiahia ki te hinganga o te kore whakapono ki te whakatika i tō marena. Nō reira, mō te hunga e ngana ana ki te whakapai ake i a rātou anō mā te kī he pai ngā mahi moepuku ki te marena, he pakiwaitara noa iho.
Meka: He mea tino ruarua te hunga e mōhio ana ki te PISD, arā, te Post Infidelity Stress Disorder. He rite tonu ngā tohu ki ērā o te PTSD. He uaua ki ētahi tāngata te hono atu ki te tangata, ahakoa he moepuku, he kare ā-roto rānei. Ka pāngia hoki te tangata e ngā mate moe me te manukanuka haumanu. Ahakoa kua pakaru te marena, he tūturu te PISD, ā, kāore anō kia kitea he whakamarie i roto i te meka i tukinotia rātou, ā, i te mutunga ka tinihangatia.
20. Pūrākau: Ko te moepuku a tetahi hoa rangatira ka arahi i tetahi ki te moe tahi me tetahi
He maha ngā wā, ka mutu pea te moepuku a te hoa rangatira kua whara hei whakahoki i tā rātou hoa tinihanga, hei rapu utu rānei mō te whakama i pā mai ki a rātou. Engari he onge noa iho tēnei āhuatanga. I te nuinga o ngā wā o te puremu, ka tino ohorere, ka riri hoki te tangata kua tinihangatia, ā, kāore e taea te whakaaro ki te utu i taua mea ki te moni kotahi.
Mena he kaha te marena, tera pea ka whakamatautauria ia ki te tango i te tūranga teitei, me te whakamahi i te puremu a tana hoa rangatira hei take pakari mo te tono whakarere me te tono moni tautoko. Kāore he pono o te meka ko te moepuku a tetahi hoa rangatira ka arahi i tetahi atu ki te moepuku. Ko enei pakiwaitara ka puta ake nga pohehe i roto i te marena. Heoi ano, ko nga taunakitanga o te tinihanga i roto i te marena ka whakakaha ake i te keehi mena ka whakatau te tangata ki te rapu i te ara ture.
I roto i ngā kupu poto, ka pā te moe tāne ki tētahi whanaungatanga, ā, he mea whaiaro, he mea whakaaro nui hoki mō ia tokorua. Ahakoa he mea noa i ēnei rā, mā te mārama me te hohonu ake o ngā āhuatanga ka āwhina pea i a koe ki te whakatau pai ake i te tūponotanga o te puremu.
Meka: Ahakoa ka tahuri ētahi tāngata ki te rapu utu i ā rātou hoa, ā, ka mutu, ka moe tāne anō hoki, e whakaatu ana ngā tatauranga ko te rapu utu te take o te tinihanga tetahi o ngā mea tino iti rawa. I te nuinga o te wā, ka puta he maha o ngā āwangawanga me ngā māharahara ki te hoa, ā, kāore e taea e ia te aro ki tētahi atu engari ko ia anake.
FAQs
Tērā pea ka ora tonu te marena i tētahi wā o te tinihanga, ā, ka kaha ake, ka pakaru rānei i raro i te pēhanga i te tīmatanga. Kei te āhua o te tauhohenga a te hoa rangatira ina tinihangatia, me te hiahia rānei o te tokorua kia mawhiti.
E ai ki ngā rangahau a te American Psychological Association, tata ki te 20% ki te 40% o ngā marena e kī ana ko te kore whakapono te take o te wehenga. Ko te puremu tētahi o ngā tino take o te wehenga, ahakoa he rerekē ngā take e ārahi ana i te tangata ki te tinihanga i ia whanaungatanga, i ia whanaungatanga.
He uaua ki te whakawhirinaki ki tētahi hoa tinihanga nā te mea kāore he taurangi e kore ia e kotiti ke anō. Tērā pea ka murua e te tāne, e te wahine rānei te hara, ā, ka hoki anō ki tētahi hoa tinihanga, engari ka tino heke te āhuatanga whakawhirinaki.
Ka roa te mamae o te puremu nā te mea ko tō whakawhirinakitanga kua pakaru, engari i roto i tētahi wā, ki te whakapau kaha te tangata nāna i tinihanga ki te hanga anō i te whanaungatanga, me te whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinakitanga o tana hoa, ka taea e koe te harikoa anō.
Te Murunga i te Whakapono a taku Hoa ki te Whakaora i taku Ao
Ngā momo tāne e toru e pāngia ana e te moepuku, me pēhea te mōhio ki a rātou
Ngā Wāhanga Whakaora i te Whakapono hei Whakaora i te Take o te Whakaipoipo
Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
