Ngā mea katoa mō te noho hoa ki tō hoa o mua

He araihe ngā whanaungatanga whaiaro, ā, tera pea ka kitea koe e whakatere ana i roto i ngā piko me ngā takahuri o te noho hoa me tō hoa o mua i muri i te wehenga. Ahakoa kua mutu te whanaungatanga, kei reira tonu te whakamarie. He nui te wā kua noho tahi kōrua, kua ako i ngā mea e pai ana ki a kōrua, me te hanga hononga whanaungatanga. Me pēhea e taea ai e koe te tango atu i tētahi tangata pēnei i roto i tō ao? Engari kua rite koe ki te mōhiotanga me pēhea te noho hoa me tō hoa o mua?

E ai ki tētahi rangahau , "E ai ki ngā rangahau o mua, tata ki te 60% o te tangata e pupuri ana i tētahi hoahoa i muri i te wehenga. Kua kitea e ngā kairangahau e whā ngā take matua e noho hoa ai te tangata me tētahi hoa o mua i muri i te wehenga - te haumaru, te mahi, te ngākau māhaki, me ngā hiahia aroha kāore anō kia whakatauhia." I roto i te nuinga o ngā wā, ko ngā hoahoa i ahu mai i ngā take mahi me ngā take ā-ture i roa te wā, ā, i kiia he pai. Ahakoa ko te noho hoa mō ngā take haumaru, nā ngā kare ā-roto aroha kāore anō kia whakatauhia, i honoa ki ngā kare ā-roto kino.

He whakaaro pai te noho hoa ki tō hoa o mua?

Ka taea e koe te noho hoa me tō hoa o mua? Āe, kei te āhuatanga, te mutunga o te whanaungatanga, me ngā tāngata e whai wāhi ana. Kua pānui pea koe i ngā kōrero pēnei i te "Mēnā ka taea e koe te noho hoa me tō hoa o mua, kāore kōrua i aroha tetahi ki tetahi, kei te aroha tonu rānei kōrua" me te "Ko te tono a tō hoa o mua kia noho hoa i muri tonu i te wehenga he rite ki te tangata tahae e tono ana kia noho whakapā atu i muri i te tuku i a koe." Ahakoa he pono tēnei, e kīia ana hoki, "Ina noho hoa tonu ngā tāngata e rua i muri i te wehenga, he tohu tēnei i te pakeketanga me te whakaae nui ki ngā taha e rua."

Nō reira, ko te noho hoa ki tō hoa o mua he kōwhiringa māu ake, me te wā anō hoki. He tino painga pea tēnei, engari he pai noa iho mēnā ka whakatau koe kia kaua e noho whakapā atu. Kāore he take kia noho hei hoa wahine pai o mua.

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Anei ētahi mea hei whakaaroaro māu ina whakaaroaro ana koe mēnā ko te whiriwhiri tika te noho hoa ki tētahi hoa o mua i whara i a koe:

• Ki te mea kua murua e kōrua ngā hara katoa a tetahi i tetahi, ā, kua rite ki te anga whakamua, kāti he pai kia noho hei hoa piripono.
• He whakaaro pai mēnā ka taea te pupuri i ngā āhuatanga o te whanaungatanga e hira ana ki a kōrua ko tō hoa, ahakoa kua wehe kē, kia ora tonu mā te whakahoahoa.
• Ko te hononga tauutuutu ki tētahi e aroha ana ki a koe, kahore he hiahia huna, ka tino āwhina i tō tipu ake whaiaro.
• Heoi, i ētahi wā, he uaua ki te neke atu mā te noho hoa ki tō hoa o mua.
• Ko te mōhio kei te hiahia tonu koe ki te noho tahi me taua tangata i roto i te aroha, i te mōhio rānei kei te tumanako pea te tangata kē atu ki a ia, ko te wā tēnei e mōhio ai koe kāore i te pai te noho hei hoa.

Nō reira, kia pai ai tō kōrua oranga, kia rere te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, kia tirohia hoki te āhua o kōrua i mua i te neke atu i te noho hei hoa aroha ki te whanaungatanga.

Āhea te wā e pai ai te noho hei hoa mō tētahi hoa o mua?

He mea tino nui te mōhio ki ngā tohu kua rite koe ki te noho hoa ki tō hoa tāne o mua, ki tō hoa wahine rānei o mua, kāore rānei. Ko te tīmatanga o tētahi whanaungatanga i runga i te huarahi whakatā, kāore anō koe kia tino rite mōna — he mea kino pea. Ka taea e koe te whakatuwhera i ngā patunga tawhito, ā, ka taea e ēnei te whakahoki i a koe ki muri i tō haerenga whakaora.

Anei ētahi tohu hei āwhina i a koe ki te mōhio kua rite koe ki te hoki ki te noho hoa.

• Kua whakaae kōrua kua mutu te whanaungatanga, ā, e mārama ana kōrua ki te take
• Kua kitea e kōrua tētahi ara hei neke whakamua kare ā-roto, ā, kāore e hiahia puku ana kia hoki tahi anō
• Kāore rawa he kare ā-roto aroha e pā ana; kāore tetahi o kōrua e hiahia ana ki te whai hononga aroha ki tetahi ki tetahi
• Kāore he aha ki a kōrua te tīmata ki te whakaipoipo i ētahi atu tāngata, ā, ka kite pono kōrua i a rātou e harikoa ana me tētahi atu tangata
• Pērā i ngā hoahoa pai katoa, ka tāpirihia e tēnei hoahoa tētahi mea pai ki tō koiora, pērā i te whakahoahoa, te tipu, te ngahau, ngā mea katoa
• Mena he mātua tahi kōrua, he mea pai kia kite ā koutou tamariki ka taea e kōrua te noho hei hoa mō tā kōrua tāne, tā kōrua wahine rānei o mua. Mā te pai ka puta ki roto i ō rātou oranga ka nui te rerekētanga, ā, ka māmā ake hoki ō kōrua oranga.

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Āhea koe me whakarērea te whakaaro ki te noho hei hoa mō tētahi hoa o mua?

Ahakoa te pai me te whai hua o te noho hoa ki tō hoa wahine o mua, ki tō hoa wahine o mua, ki tō hoa tāne o mua rānei, he pai rawa mēnā kāore koe e whai i taua ara, ā, ka mutu rawa ō hononga. He pai ake tēnā i te mutunga ki tētahi āhuatanga pōrearea ka nui ake te mamae i a koe. Anei ētahi tohu e whakaatu ana me waiho tonu te wehenga i ngā taha katoa:

• Ina mōhio koe kāore anō kia neke atu, ā, kei te tumanako puku koe kia hoki tahi me rātou
• Ina hiahia tō hoa o mua ki te noho hei hoa, ā, kāore e pai ki a koe, kāore rānei koe e pai ki te noho
• Mena kei te raru koe ki te whakatakoto rohe, ki te pupuri rānei i aua rohe, me tino mahi koe whakakahoretia tētahi hoa o mua e hiahia ana kia noho hei hoa
• Ki te hae koe ki te noho hoa ki tētahi hoa wahine/tāne o mua, ki te pouri koe ki te kite i te whanaketanga o ō rāua oranga whakaipoipo, ki te uaua rānei ki te whakaipoipo i ētahi atu tāngata nā te mea kei te pirangi tonu koe ki a rātou
• Ko te hoki anō ki ngā tikanga tawhito o te whanaungatanga ki a rātou he tohu kaha anō hoki kei te anga atu koe ki tētahi hinganga mamae.

Engari me pēhea te noho hoa ki tētahi hoa o mua e arohaina tonutia ana e koe? He maha ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi hei whakarite kia hanga he hononga hauora, he hononga hoa hoki ki tō hoa o mua, me te kore e mutu ki roto i te wai roimata. He uaua te noho hoa ki tētahi hoa o mua? Ae. Engari kia angitu.

Me pēhea te whai hua i te noho hoa ki tō hoa o mua?

Ko te whakatau ki te noho hoa ki tētahi hoa o mua ka tīmata mā te arotake i a koe anō, ā, i ētahi wā ka uru koe ki roto i ētahi raruraru o ō whakaaro me whakatau e koe i mua i te tīmatanga o te whakaaro mō te whakahoahoa e tino hiahiatia ana e koe. Kia whakatau koe ko te noho hoa ki tō hoa o mua te whakatau tika māu, he mea nui kia ata whakatipu i taua whakahoahoa. Hei whakatutuki i tēnā, anei ētahi tohutohu mō te whai hua o te noho hoa ki tō hoa o mua:

1. Kia mārama

Anei me pēhea te kimi i te take e hiahia ana koe ki te noho hoa ki tō hoa o mua:

• Ko koe kei te aroha tonu koe ki tō hoa o mua?
• Kei te rapu koe i tētahi wāhanga o te whanaungatanga i roto i tēnei ao hou?
• Kei te ngaro noa koe i te whai i tētahi e tata ana ki a koe?

Kia tino mohio kei te ngaro atu kōrua tetahi i tetahi, ā, kua neke atu ō kōrua kare ā-roto. Kaua te hiahia kia tata atu ki a rāua, kia noho tahi rānei rāua i roto i tō koiora e ahu mai i ngā kare ā-roto aroha e mau tonu ana. Tētahi atu māramatanga e hiahiatia ana e koe: Whakatauhia mēnā kei te hiahia koe kia noho hoa, kaua hoki kia noho hoa ki a rāua. E kī ana tētahi kaiwhakamahi Quora , "Ki te tirohia e au aku whanaungatanga ki ngā hoa o mua me ngā whanaungatanga ki ngā hoa, he rerekētanga nui."

"Ko ngā hoa he hunga e aroha ana ki a koe, e tautoko ana i a koe, e manaaki ana i a koe, ā, ka whakarongo ki ngā mea katoa e kōrerohia ana e koe, ā, ka taea hoki e rātou te tuku tohutohu me ngā whakaaro ki a koe. Ki taku whakaaro, ina piripono koe ki tētahi, ka noho tonu he whakaaro pākiki, ā, he maha ngā wā he uaua ki te wehe atu i te whanaungatanga me te tuku pono ki tētahi atu i tā te hoa e mahi ai."

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2. Kaua e hohoro te whakatau ki te noho hoa mō tō hoa o mua

He tino mamae ngā momo wehenga katoa. Hei tauira, whakaarohia te noho hoa ki tō hoa pai o mua. Nā te whakaaro i whakatuwhera ētahi patunga, kāore? Kia mahara ki te roa o te wā i pau i a koe ki te tuku i taua whakahoahoa? Me tuku e koe he wā roa i muri i te wehenga i mua i te whakaaro ki te noho hoa ki tō hoa tāne o mua, ki tō hoa wahine rānei o mua. Whakapaua he wā ki a koe anō hei whakaora i tō ngākau maru . Kāore he hiahia whaiaro ki te atawhai i a koe anō i muri i te wehenga.

"Ko tētahi o ngā wā pai rawa atu tēnei mō te mōhio ko wai koe, me te aha hoki tāu e tino hiahia ana i te ao? I muri tonu i te wehenga," te kī a Mandy Hale, he kaituhi pukapuka rongonui, e whai ana i te kaupapa ki te whakahihiko i ngā wāhine takakau kia ora i ō rātou oranga pai rawa atu i muri i te wehenga.

Me whai wā, me whai wāhi hoki koe ki te whakahaere i tō wehenga, me tō hoa o mua anō hoki. Mā te nui ake o te wāhi e hangaia e koe mōu ake, ka pai ake tō mārama ki a koe anō. Nō reira, mā te momotu katoa i te hononga me te whakamahi i te ture kore-pā ka āwhina i a kōrua kia neke whakamua, kia ora ai. Ka māmā ake te ao mēnā kei te whārangi kotahi kōrua engari ehara i te mea koinei te āhua o te ao i ngā wā katoa, tika?

Ina hiahia tō hoa o mua ki te noho hei hoa, kāore koe i te rite, ā, ina hiahia koe ki te piña colada, ka homai e te ao he rēmana ki a koe. Nō reira, kaua e ruku tere rawa, kaua hoki e tere rawa, ā, ina rite rawa kōrua, ka taea e kōrua te whai hua o te whakahoahoa.

3. Tautuhia nga rohe

He mea nui kia whakapuakina ō hiahia tinana, ā-hinengaro hoki me ō tumanakohanga mai i te whakahoahoa i mua, ā, kia whakatakotohia hoki he rohe mō te noho hoa ki tētahi hoa o mua i whara i a koe. Mēnā ka hiahia koe ki te whai hononga moepuku anō ki tō hoa o mua (ehara i te mea ko koe anake), me mārama tō hinengaro, me te tūpato kei hoki anō koe ki te rohe aroha. Nā te mea, kia pono tātou, he take tō kōrua i wehe ai. Mā te whakatakoto i ēnei rohe ka āwhina i a koe kia mārama ō whanaungatanga ā muri ake nei. Mēnā kei te hiahia koe ki te noho hoa ki tō hoa o mua, me te whakaipoipo anō hoki ki ētahi atu tāngata hou, mā ēnei rohe ka āwhina i a koe kia whiwhi i te pai o ngā oranga e rua.

4. Waiho ngā mea kua pahure kia pai ai te whanaungatanga ki tō hoa o mua

He ture whakahau tēnei me mātua pupuri koe mēnā kei te pirangi koe ki te noho hoa ki tō hoa o mua. KAUA E WHAKAMAHI I NGĀ WĀ O MUA. Kua ngaro ō maharatanga kino katoa ki a rāua, ā, kāore he painga o te hanga raruraru hou me ngā patunga tawhito. Me waiho ngā kawenga kare ā-roto o te whanaungatanga o mua, inā koa kua oti ngā whakapāha me ngā whakatikatika, kua tutuki rānei ngā whakaaetanga.

Me waiho te whakahoahoa ki tētahi hoa o mua hei upoko whanaungatanga hou, ā, me noho tawhiti atu i ngā whārangi o mua me rātou, me ētahi atu pukapuka pea. He ahua koretake te ahua engari me kī atu mātou kia pēnei te huarahi mena kei te pirangi koe ki te hoki anō ki te noho hei hoa. E kōrero ana tētahi kaiwhakamahi Quora mō ngā painga o te noho hei hoa ki tētahi hoa o mua, "Kāore rawa he tangata hei 'whakamauru atu'. Ko te take katoa ka roa te wā ki te wareware i tētahi hoa o mua nā te mea kua ngaro ohorere atu rātou i tō ao. Ki te pupuri tonu koe i tō whakahoahoa, kei reira tonu rātou, ā, he māmā ake te tukanga whakaora. Nō reira, kāore he taumahatanga ina tae mai koe ki te tuku anō i tō ngākau."

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5. Kia noho hei hoa noa iho

I a koe e ngana ana ki te noho hoa ki tētahi o mua, kia tino mohio kei te pai kōrua ki te noho 'hoa noa iho.' Ki te hiahia koe ki te noho hoa ki a rāua mō tētahi kaupapa huna, mō ētahi tumanako huna rānei kia hoki mai rāua, ka rite tō kōrua hoahoa ki tētahi pounamu waina kau i roto i te pouaka whakamātao – Kāore he hua o tēnā, ā, ka pau te wāhi mō tētahi mea hou.

Ko te whakahoahoa, te tautoko kare ā-roto, me te whakamarie e kawea mai ana e rātou – ahakoa tērā pea i ahu mai i te whanaungatanga aroha o mua – kaua e ahu katoa mai i tō mua, kei whakararuraru i ō whanaungatanga ā muri ake nei me ō hoa hou.

He mea noa te noho hoa ki tētahi hoa o mua. Inaa, he pai ake ki te nuinga o te tangata tēnā. He tokomaha e whakawhirinaki ana ki te noho hoa ki ā rātou hoa o mua hei whakamama i te mamae o te wehenga. Heoi, ahakoa te ahua pai o te whanaungatanga whakawhanaungatanga hei pupuri i tō hoa o mua ki roto i tō ao me te kore he whanaungatanga ā-hinengaro, ā-tinana hoki, ka taea e ia te arahi ki ētahi āhuatanga whakapoauau me te uaua.

Ehara i te mea ko koe anake te hiahia ki te noho hoa ki tō hoa wahine o mua, ki tō hoa wahine o mua, ki tō hoa tāne o mua rānei, ā, kāore he he o tēnā. Ka taea e ngā hoa o mua te noho hei hoa pai e mōhio ana ki te tautoko, ki te whakatenatena, me te manaaki i a koe. Heoi, he rerekē ia āhuatanga. Kia ata noho, pātai atu ki a koe anō he aha tāu e hiahia ana mai i tētahi hoahoa, ā, kia mau tonu tō hoa o mua ki te ao o mua ina tae mai ki tō heke mai aroha. Mā tēnā ka taea e koe te whai hua tō hoahoa ki tō hoa o mua.

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