Ki te āta whakaarohia, ka kite koe kei te uru atu tētahi hoa ki ngā wāhanga katoa o tō oranga. Ngā wiki mutunga, ngā hararei, ngā rā kino, ngā tina whānau, ngā mahi, ngā hokohoko, ngā haereere, ngā hiahia nui o te waenganui pō… me kī atu, kei reira tonu. He pono, he maha ngā mea kāore i oti me te kore rātou. Koinei tonu te take e rite ai te ngaronga o tō hoa pai ki te hurihanga o tō mīhini horoi.
Nā, me pēhea te wikitoria i te wehenga o te hoa? He tukanga roa, hoha hoki te wikitoria i te wehenga, e hiahia ana ki te kaha me te manawanui. Ki te mea kei roto koe i tēnei āhuatanga, me whai tohutohu katoa koe. Engari kei a au tō taha, ā, e mōhio ana ahau ki te aha me mahi ina whakaaro koe me pēhea te wikitoria i te aroha ki tētahi hoa.
Tekau ngā huarahi hei whakaora i tō ngākau. Ki te hiahia koe kia ora ake i te ngaronga o tētahi hoa, kia tere ai te ora, anei tētahi mahere hei huarahi māu. Me tīmata tātou? Tēnā tātou…
He aha te take e motu ai te whakahoahoa?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
He maha ngā take ka pā te ngaromanga o te whanaungatanga. Tērā pea he tangata rerekē tō hoa. Tērā pea he tino uaua te whakatau i ō kōrua rerekētanga. Tērā pea rānei kua whara tetahi o kōrua i tetahi, ā, kāore e taea te hoki anō. Ko taku wehenga tuatahi i roto i te whanaungatanga (āe, he maha ngā wā kua pā mai ki ahau) he rite ki tētahi wehenga aroha. I tīmata pai ngā mea katoa, i aro nui māua tetahi ki tetahi, he rite tonu te ora ki tētahi whakaari pukuhohe ātaahua, kātahi ka…
Kātahi ka kite ahau i te tino rerekētanga o ō māua uara matua. I piki haere ngā whakahē engari i piri tonu māua tetahi ki tetahi. I te anga whakamua māua ki tētahi hoahoa kino, ā, i mōhio māua ki tēnā. I whakatau uaua ahau ki te wehe i ngā ara nā te mea ka ora ai māua i tētahi ao mamae ā muri ake nei. E rua ngā ara kei mua - he mahi kino te mahi tahi, he mahi hauora rānei te wehe. He mea tika, he kōwhiringa whakaaro nui te mea whakamutunga.
Pērā i ngā whanaungatanga kē atu, ka taea e te wehenga o te hoa te noho wā poto, te noho pumau rānei. Kei a koe te whakatau mēnā ka taea te whakakore i tēnei raruraru. Me whakarērea tonu ngā hoa kino, ngā hoa tukino rānei, engari ka taea te whakatau i ngā pakanga mā te whakatikatika me te whakaae tahi. Kua tae mai ō āhuatanga ki tētahi wāhi e tata pumau ai te wehenga o te hoa. Nō reira, me pēhea e taea ai e koe te whakatau i te ngaronga o tētahi hoa wairua ? Kia kitea i roto i tā mātou wāhanga e whai ake nei.
10 Ngā Huarahi Hei Whakaora i te Wehenga o te Hoa
Kāre au i te mōhio he aha te take i wehe ai kōrua ko tō hoa, engari he tino mamae rawa atu. Ahakoa te wāhi kare ā-roto e ahu mai ana koe i nāianei - te riri, te pōuri, te pōhēhē, te rangimārie rānei - ka taea e koe te whakamahi i ēnei huarahi hei poipoi i tō hauora kare ā-roto.
Tērā pea kua whakaitihia e koe te pānga o te whanaungatanga i waenganui i a kōrua ko tō hoa. Kua whakakitea e tētahi rangahau te kaha o ngā whanaungatanga pāpori ki te whakanui ake i ō tātou tūponotanga kia roa ake te ora. Ko ngā whakahoahoa pai e pā ana ki te iti o te ahotea me te manukanuka, me te oranga roa, harikoa hoki. Kāore he mea miharo kei te pātai koe me pēhea e taea ai e koe te wikitoria i te wehenga o te whakahoahoa.
Aroha mai mēnā kua ngaro atu a Ron Weasley i a koe i tō pukapuka Harry Potter, engari me haere tonu tātou. Ehara ngā whakarerenga i te wāhi pai hei nohoanga. Anei me pēhea te wikitoria i te wehenga o te hoa pai…
1. He whero ngā rōhi, e pouri ana koe i te pouri…
Kāore e taea e koe te ora, ā, e kore e ora mēnā kāore koe e whakaae ki te patunga. Ko te wikitoria i te whakakorekore te taahiraa tuatahi ki te ora mai i te pakaru o te whakahoahoa. Tukua koe kia rongo i ngā kare ā-roto pōrearea. Tangi, amuamu, moe roa i te rā katoa. He pai ki te noho noa i ngā wāhi katoa ina pouri ana koe mō te mutunga o te whakahoahoa.
Ko te raruraru o te ngaronga o tētahi hoa, he onge te kite atu i tēnei āhuatanga. He tohu whakatūpato kei te tata te wehenga o tētahi hoa wahine, o tētahi hoa tāne rānei i a koe, engari kāore tātou e whakaaro ki tētahi āhuatanga ka ngaro atu tō tātou hoa pai i tō tātou taha. He whakaaro whakakatakata te whakaaro i tētahi oranga kāore rātou… kia tupu rā anō. Kia mahara ki te pōuri o Emma rāua ko Olivia i roto i te Bride Wars ? I tino pāngia rāua e te wehenga o tā rāua hoahoa.
Ki te mea kei te takaro koe i te kēmu "Āe, kei te pai ahau, kei te pai katoa", kei te whakaroa koe i tō mamae. Ringihia te wai i roto i te pouaka tauera i a koe e tangi ana, whakakīia tō mata ki te aihikirīmi, me te puta o ngā riri i te aroaro o te whakaata - kāore he aha mena kāore koe i te pai.
2. Tēnā koa, homai he serotonin!
Ehara i te 3 i te ata o te Wenerei te wā tika hei tiaki i a koe anō. Me tiaki i a koe anō ina mutu tō whanaungatanga. Ehara i te mea ko te whakamahi i te kopare pepa, te kai rānei i ngā kai whakamarie. Ko te tiaki i a koe anō ko te whakahoki i tō oranga ki te huarahi tika. Ko tōna tikanga ko te whakamahi i ngā tikanga pai mō tō hauora tinana, hinengaro me te wairua.
Tīmatahia te hikoi me te kai i ngā kai hauora. He pai ngā parāone ina pouri koe, engari me whakatika e koe tō oranga i tētahi wā, tika? Arotahi ki te mahi me te tīmata i tētahi mahi whakangahau hou. Waiho tō whare kia okioki i te rā me te hau hou. He tino whai hua ngā mahi e whakaputa ana i te serotonin mōu.
Me whakaaro anō hoki koe ki te whakaaroaro hei whakahoki mai i te taurite me te taurite i waenga i tō yin me tō yang. He mahi kua whakamatauria, kua whakamatautauria hoki tēnei e tōku iwi. Ka oati ahau ka tino pai ake tō wairua ina hoki anō koe ki te āhua noa. He mea nui kia maumahara koe he wāhanga tō hoa o tō oranga – āe, he mea nui – engari ehara i te mea ko tō oranga katoa. E ai ki te kōrero i Broadway – me haere tonu te whakaaturanga!
3. Te tawhiti hapori (ehara i te mea mō te mate urutā anake)
He hapa te akiaki i te kati i te whanaungatanga e te nuinga o te tangata. Kāore e whakaaetia te tuku karere, te waea atu rānei ki tō hoa me te tono kia tūtaki rāua kia taea ai e kōrua te 'whakatikatika i ngā raruraru'. Me whai wāhi kōrua tetahi ki tetahi, ki te kore, kāore kōrua e pātai me pēhea te wikitoria i te wehenga o te hoa. Whakatakotoria he rohe kare ā-roto , ā, whai i aua rohe.
Mena kua wetehia koe e rātou i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori, waiho kia pērā tonu. Ka whakatau ia tangata kia pai ai tōna oranga. Ki te whakaaro tō hoa he pai te tawhiti, kia whakaute i ōna rohe. I tētahi atu taha, ki te mea ko rātou te tangata e whakararuraru ana i a koe, kaua e mangere ki te aukati i a rātou mō tētahi wā.
He wāhanga tino nui o te tipu ake ko te mōhio kāore e taea te whakamutu i ngā wā katoa. Kāore e taea e te tangata te whakamutu i ngā mea i runga i te rangimārie i ngā wā katoa. Ka taea e koe te ngana ki te rapu i te rangimārie māu ake, engari he kōwhiringa kino te akiaki i tētahi atu kia mahi pērā.
4. Kaua e noho hei ope taua kotahi-tangata
Ahakoa he mea whakamihi te tū motuhake me te whai i a koe anō, he wā, he wāhi anō hoki mō ēnei – ina mamae koe i te taha hinengaro, ehara i te wā tika, ā, ehara hoki i te wāhi tika mōu te ana mokemoke. Tena koa whakapā atu ki tētahi ka ringihia ōu ngākau. Ko tēnei tangata pea ko ō mātua, he hoa, he tohunga hauora hinengaro rānei.
Ka puta he maha ngā kare ā-roto i te ngaronga o tō hoa pai me te wikitoria i te wehenga. Ahakoa he mahi ka taea e koe anake te whakaoti i ēnei, ka taea e ētahi atu te hanga i tētahi kapu tī māu hei whakamarie. Ā, kua kitea e au ko te whakapuaki i ō wheako ka taea te hoatu i te māramatanga e hiahiatia ana e koe. I Bonobology, ka tukuna e mātou he āwhina ngaio mā roto i tā mātou rōpū kaitohutohu me ngā kaiwhakaora hinengaro whai raihana. Ka taea e ā rātou aratohu te āwhina i a koe ki te whakatere i tēnei wā pōrearea o tō ao. Ka taea e koe te whakawhirinaki ki a mātou.
He tino pai te mana whakahaere, engari ka taea e koe te ' Tukua ' pērā i a Elsa ina tae mai ki te hunga e whakawhirinaki ana koe. I whiua e tētahi hoa taku ipu tote ki te whakaata i muri i te wehenga o tana hoa, ā, i tino pai ake ia i muri i tera. Ko taku tikanga, kimihia he huarahi hei whakaputa i ō kare ā-roto!
5. Te whakahaere i ngā hononga tahi
Āe, he wāhi whakamā tēnei, he uaua ki te nekeneke. He mea whakamā ki te katoa te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tahi me tētahi hoa kua wehe kē. Engari kaua rawa e meinga ēnei hoa tahi kia whiriwhiri i tētahi taha; ehara i te mea ko te tau whitu tēnei, he pakeke katoa tātou i konei.
Kaua rawa e kōrero kino mō tō hoa o mua ki ngā hoa kōrero, ā, kia mau tonu te atawhai. Kaua e mangere ki te whakapuaki i tō taha kōrero (mēnā ka pātaihia), engari kaua e kōrero, e tawai rānei. Kōrero atu ki ō hoa he āhua motuhake tō te katoa; he mea motuhake te wehenga o kōrua ko tō hoa o mua, kāore e hiahiatia he wāhi atu.
Whakaaturia te pakeketanga i roto i te mahi tahi me ngā hoa – kāore koe e hiahia kia ngaro rātou i a koe e whiriwhiri ana i ngā tīma. Ki te hiahia pono koe ki te mōhio me pēhea te wikitoria i te wehenga o te hoa, kaua e tukua ō kare ā-roto kia kaha ake i a koe. Hei tangata kua taka ki te mahanga o te 'whakauru i ngā tāngata ki tana tīma', he tohunga pono ahau mō tēnei kaupapa. Kia whai whakaaro nui tonu. I ngā wā katoa.
6. (Kaua e) Ūkui, koa!
He whakarihariha ngā kuini whakaari me ngā kīngi i roto i ngā kiriata, ā, kāore e taea te whakamanawanui i roto i te ao tūturu. Kāore he pai e puta mai i te whakaari i te wehenga. Ko te hora i ngā kōrero pakiwaitara, te kōrero teka, te whakapataritari i a rātou me te kore take, me te tuku i ngā mea ngaro i whakapuakina i roto i te tūmataitinga he whanonga kino, he whanonga iti katoa.
Kaua e pērā te tangata. Kāore he tangata e pai ana ki a ia. Haere i te ara tika, kia mau tonu tō ngākau pono ahakoa pēhea. Mā te kōrero haere mō te pakaru o te whakahoahoa ka āhua korekore koe. Ahakoa he koretake tō hoa o mua, kaua e whakaiti i a koe anō ki tōna taumata.
He whakamaumahara ngawari anō kia kaua e whakamahia te pāpāho pāpori hei papa pakanga ina wehe kōrua i te whanaungatanga. Hei hoa, he maha ngā kōrero whaiaro e mōhio ana kōrua tetahi ki tetahi, ā, he nui te whakamatautauranga ki te whakamahi i aua kōrero hei patu. E mōhio ana ahau he kino te ngaro o te hoa pai, engari he kino, he whakarihariha hoki te tuku kōrero pukuriri.
Pānui e pā ana: Te Whakakore Hoa i runga i te Pāpāho Hapori: 6 Tohutohu mō te Mahi i te Mea me te Ātaahua
7. Whakahokia, tirohia anō, whakatikatika anō
I mea a Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Ko te huarahi anake ki te whai hoa ko te noho hei hoa." He māmā ake te kī - e rua ngā tāngata hei mahi tango. Kia roa te wā, ā, kia taurite ake tō hinengaro, whakaarohia ngā kaupapa i arahi ai ki te pakaru o tō hoa. Kia pono ki a koe anō i tēnei arotakenga anō.
Kāore e taea e koe te pātai me pēhea te wikitoria i te wehenga o tētahi hoa pai me te kore e whakaaro ki tō wāhi ki roto. Tērā pea i hē anō hoki koe. I hea koe i hē ai? Kia tirohia e koe ō ake whanonga, ka taea e koe te maumahara ki ō ngoikoretanga.
Ahakoa kei te hiahia koe ki te hohou i te rongo ki te hoa i te mutunga, me whai tirohanga whānui koe ki te āhuatanga. Nā te kore e mōhio ki ō tātou ake hapa, ka takaro noa tātou i te kēmu whakapae . I kī a Hōkerete me te whakaaro nui, "Kia mōhio koe ki a koe anō."
8. Kua haurua te kī o te karāhe
Mā te tirohanga pai koe e āwhina i a koe ki te whakatere i roto i ngā wā tino uaua. Ehara i te mea ko te tumanako noa ki ngā mea pai ake, engari ko te titiro whakamuri ki ngā maharatanga ataahua o te whanaungatanga kua mutu. He wāhanga nui te hoa o tō oranga, ā, e kore e taea e koe te ūkui i tōna oranga i roto i tō maharatanga. Whakaharatauhia ngā mahi pai i muri i te wehenga.
Kia kaha ki te whakatutuki i tētahi taumata ka taea e koe te whakaaro ki ngā wā pai me te ngākau pouri, kaua ki te pouri, ki te mauahara rānei. Ka taea e koe te maioha ki ngā rā pai o mua, me te mau tonu i ngā amuamu mō tō hoa o mua. Kāore rāua e tū motuhake tetahi ki tetahi.
Mā te pupuri i te mauahara ka waikura noa koe i roto. Ki te taea e Susan Bunch rāua ko Ross Geller te noho mārire tetahi ki tetahi, e tino mōhio ana ahau ka kitea e koe he huarahi hei hohou i te rongo ki ngā mea o mua. He tino māmā te whakautu ki te pātai me pēhea te wikitoria i te wehenga o te hoa – kaua e tukua kia kotahi te wheako e whakatau i tō tirohanga ki ngā whanaungatanga katoa.
9. Te whakamahi i te whakawhetai
Titiro mai? He mea ataahua ngā momo whakakori tinana katoa. Mā te ngaronga o tētahi hoa ka nui ake tō whakaaro ki te hunga kei a koe. Kia whakawhetai ki a rātou mō tō rātou noho mai, me ā rātou mahi katoa māu. Arohaina rātou, ā, ngana kia noho hei hoa pai ake. He huarahi pai hei wikitoria i ngā mate, ko te whakamahara i a koe anō ki ngā rawa kei a koe.
Puritia he pukapuka whakawhetai, inoi rānei mō ō hoa mēnā he whakapono koe. Tatauhia ō manaakitanga, kaua hoki e whakahawea ki tētahi. He kōwhiringa te whakahoahoa e mahia ana e tātou i ia rā, i ia rā – he ngāwari te wehe atu i tētahi hoa nā te mea kāore he herenga. Heoi anō, ka mahia e tātou taua kōwhiringa, ā, ka noho tonu tātou.
Whaia te whanaungatanga pērā i te whanaungatanga i waenganui i a Pōh rāua ko Piglet. Whakanuia te aroha ki ō hoa, ā, whakahokia atu hoki ā rātou mahi. Kia kī tō ao i te kata me te aroha o te whanaungatanga!
He Pānui e Pā Ana: Ngā Hononga Platonic – He Aroha Onge, He Aroha Tuturu rānei?
10. Kia rite ki te rākau
Kia whānuitia. Kāo, kāore au i te pouri mō te kupu whakakatakata. Kia oti i a koe te tukatuka i ō kare ā-roto katoa, me puta atu koe ki waho, kia tuwhera ki te hanga hoa hou. Kaua e whakatata atu ki ngā tāngata tauhou me ngā tono porangi, engari kia ngāwari te whakatata atu ina kōrero mai tētahi ki a koe.
Haere ki ngā wāhi e hono ai te tangata (pēnei i te hopuoro tuwhera, i tētahi akomanga hou rānei?) ka tīmata he kōrero. Tirohia te ahunga whakamua. Kia maumahara noa kāore koe e ngana ana ki te whakakapi i tō hoa o mua. Kāore e pērā te mahi. Kāore e taea te whakakapi i te tangata mō tētahi ki tētahi.
Ara, kaua e noho kāinga! Haere ki waho ki te tūhura i ngā wāhi hou. Tērā pea ka tūtaki koe ki tētahi e tika ana mō te hoahoa moemoeā!
Kāore he kōrero anō mō te ngaronga o tētahi hoa pai. Me whai i ēnei mahi me te ngākau pono, kaua rawa e ngaro te tumanako. Tērā pea ka rite te pakaru o te whakahoahoa ki te mutunga o te ao, engari ka oati ahau ehara. Ka waiho atu e au tēnei rotarota ataahua nā Langston Hughes.
" I aroha ahau ki taku hoa
I haere atu ia i ahau
Kaore he korero ke atu
Ka mutu te rotarota,
Ngāwari tonu i tōna tīmatanga –
I aroha ahau ki taku hoa.”
FAQs
Ahakoa te wehenga o te hoa, tera pea he āhua taumaha i te tīmatanga, engari e toru ngā taahiraa hei whakatau i tēnei. Tuatahi, whakahaerehia ō kare ā-roto i roto i te huarahi hauora. Kei roto i tēnei ko te kimi huarahi hei whakaputa i ō kare ā-roto. Tuarua, whakatikatika i tō ao mā te wikitoria i te pouri me te noho ki te ao o ia rā. Tuatoru, whakaaroarohia ngā whakatau i mahia e koe i te wā o te hoa, tirohia mēnā i hē koe. Ka mutu, ka arahi tēnei ki te tuku i te mauahara, i te riri rānei.
He maha ngā tohu, engari ko ngā mea nui ko te whakapau kaha taha-kotahi me te korenga o te kare ā-roto. Mena ko tētahi o kōrua anake e ngana ana ki te whakahaere i ngā mea mā te whakarite mahere, mā te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero rānei, he tohu kino tēnei. Kāore e taea e te whanaungatanga te mau tonu mā te whakapau kaha taha-kotahi. Hei tāpiri, ko te kore aro, te kore aroha rānei ki ngā raruraru, ki te oranga rānei o tētahi ki tētahi, ka waiho hei take mō te āwangawanga.
Kāore he wā pumau mō te whakaora i muri i te pakaru o te whakahoahoa. Ka ora ake ia tangata i tōna ake tere. Heoi, ko ngā wā roa (neke atu i te 21 ngā rā) o te whanonga pouri me tohu hei rapu awhina ngaio. Ko ngā whanonga pouri ko te ngaro o te hiahia kai, te kai nui, te kore moe, te moe nui, te tangi tonu, te noho kau, te kore aro ki ētahi atu me te whakaaro whakamomori.
Ngā Whakaaro 10 ka Puta Mai i a Koe Ina Kimihia He Hoa Tāne e To Hoa Rangatira
Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
