Kia mutu te whakakorekore me te wā "Ka hoki mai taku hoa o mua ki ahau", ka mōhio koe ki te hiranga o te kimi huarahi hei whakaora i te ngākau maru. Ki te tīmata te mamae me te pōuri ki te pā kino ki tō āhua noho, kāore e taea e koe te whakaroa. Ko te noho mai ki konei he taahiraa tuatahi pai pea.
Mā te ahurea rongonui koe e whakapono, ki te kore koe e pāngia e te pouri, e whakaroa rānei i tō pahau, e hanga rānei i ngā pūwero, e kore e taea e koe te whakakore i te mamae. Kei konei mātou hei kī atu ki a koe, ki te tika tō huarahi, ka māmā ake te whakahaere i tēnei mamae, me te kore hoki e hanga i aua pūwero ohorere.
Mā te āwhina a te tohunga hinengaro Kavita Panyam (He Tohu Paerua i roto i te Hinengaro, he hononga ā-ao ki te American Psychological Association), kua neke atu i te rua tekau tau e āwhina ana i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ki te whakaoti i ō rātou raruraru whanaungatanga, me whakautu tātou i te pātai, "Me pēhea te whakaora i te ngākau maru me te neke whakamua?"
Me pēhea te whakaora i te ngākau maru? 15 Ngā Tohutohu a ngā Tohunga hei āwhina i a koe ki te neke whakamua
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Ina ngana koe ki te wikitoria i te mamae o te ngākau me te pouri, kāore he wāhi e ātaahua ake ana i tō rūma moe. Kāore he kākahu e pai ake ana i ō pajama, ā, ko te momo whakangahau pai ko te tuku i a Netflix kia purei i tāu e pai ai.
Ka kohuatia koe e te kupu tohutohu a ō hoa, "Kia harikoa noa!", ā, ka araia pea koe e te hiahia ki te whakapuaki i tō mamae ki ō whanaunga e tino aroha ana.
Ko te wehenga, inā koa i muri i tētahi hononga nui, ka mutu ka nui ake ngā whakaaro e pā ana ki a tātou i tā tātou e whakaae katoa ana. E mōhio ana tātou he uaua, ā, ko te kimi i tētahi ara i waho me te noho tumanako tonu te āhua nei kāore e taea. Hei āwhina i a koe i tō haerenga, koinei ngā mea me mahi e koe:
1. Whakaae kua mutu
Ko te taahiraa tuatahi ki te ako me pēhea te whakaora i te mate ngakau maru Ko te whakaae ki te meka kua ngaro kē ngā mea i a koe. Kāore he painga o te "whakamātau anō" ki a koe. Kāore, kāore tō hoa o mua e hiahia ana ki a koe. Kāore, e kore te whakarerekētanga e meinga kia tukuna mai he karere ki a koe. Ko tētahi o ngā mea tino uaua, engari ko ngā mea tino nui me whakaae.
"Kei te whakaaroaro tonu mātou ki ngā wā pai me ngā kare ā-roto i pā ki a koe. Ka mutu, ka noho tonu koe i roto i te whanaungatanga, i roto i tōu ake hinengaro," te kī a Kavita. "Nō reira, ka hoatu e koe he tumanako teka ki a koe anō, ā, ka mutu, ka whakanuia e koe te mea katoa."
"Whakaaetia kua mutu. He ranunga o te pai me te kino, ā, kua mutu inaianei. Kia whakapono koe kua mutu, ko reira anake ka taea e koe te tīmata ki te whakaora wairua mai i te ngākau maru," tāna tāpiri.
Te pānui e pā ana: Ngā Mea Pai e 10 hei Mahi i Muri i te Wehenga
2. Akohia ngā mea me ako e koe mai i reira
Ahakoa he kino tō whanaungatanga, ehara i te mea he moumou taima. Ahakoa te mamae o te wehenga, ko te mea kua uru koe ki tētahi mea pēnei he wheako ako noa iho.
"Kia neke atu koe i ngā tumanako katoa ki te ngana ki te 'whakatika' i te raruraru, ka whakaae koe me tuku e koe ngā mea katoa mōu ake, kia mōhio ai koe ki ngā mea e pā ana ki a koe anō. Kua tutuki i te whanaungatanga tōna kaupapa, ā, kāore he mahi anō hei mahi mā te tumanako ki te ngana ki te whakaara anō i te whanaungatanga," te kī a Kavita.
Mō ētahi atu ataata tohunga, ohauru mai ki tā mātou Hongere Youtube. Pāwhiri ki konei.
3. Hoatu he horopeta hauora mō te kati i a koe anō
He uaua te neke whakamua me te kore e kati te whanaungatanga, ki te kī atu. Ina mutu te whanaungatanga me te mauahara roa, me te aukati i ngā pūkete pāpāho pāpori, tera pea ka kai kino koe. "Ina kore te kati e puta mai i te tangata kē, ina kore koe e kōrerotia he aha te take o te wehenga, he pai ake te whakamutu i a koe anō," te kī a Kavita.
"Ka taea e koe te kī atu ki a koe anō kua mutu tō whanaungatanga, ā, kāore e haere ki hea atu. Tērā rānei, ka taea e koe te whai i tētahi huarahi tika ake, arā, te kōrero ki tētahi urunga, me te kī ko tō hoa o mua ia. Mā tēnei mahi ngāwari e ahu mai ana te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i a koe ka āwhina i a koe." neke tonu, kāore he katinga", ahakoa he āhua rerekē i te tīmatanga," tāna tāpiri.
4. Kia mārama koe he aha koe i uru atu ai ki tēnei mahi i te tuatahi
Ina rapu huarahi koe ki te whakaora i te ngākau maru, kāore e tino pai te whakaaroaro ki te take i whakatau ai koe i aua whakatau. Ahakoa rā, ko te nui ake o ngā akoranga mai i te wheako i pā ki a koe, ko te nui ake o te āheinga kia kore ai e puta anō.
"Mā te tātari i tō momo here me te take i arahi ai koe ki te whanaungatanga, ka whiwhi koe i ngā māramatanga nui mō te āhua o tō urupare ki te wehenga me te aha me mahi e koe," te kī a Kavita.
"Whakaarohia mēnā kei te whakaatu koe i tētahi momo piripono haumaru, karo, taupatupatu, koretake rānei. Ka puta te raruraru ina mōhio koe he momo piripono taupatupatu tōu nā te mea he maha tonu te wā e whakawhirinaki ana rātou ki tētahi atu tangata hei whakahaere i ō rātou oranga."
"Ka raru pea te hunga koretake i te mea i hiahia rātou ki te whanaungatanga engari kāore i hiahia i te wā kotahi. Mā te mārama ki ō momo here, ka kitea e koe he māmā ake te whakaora i te ngākau maru mā te pūtaiao kei muri," tāna tāpiri.
5. Tukua koe kia haere i roto i ngā wāhanga o te wehenga
Ka mutu tō rapunga ki te wikitoria i te mamae me te pouri ki te kore koe e tuku i a koe anō ki te whakahaere i ngā kare ā-roto. Ka roa ake tō ngana ki te kimi i ō whakautu i te raro o te pounamu, i ngā pāti rānei e haere atu ana koe hei whakararuraru i a koe anō, ka roa ake tō whakaroa ki te ora ake.
"Ko ngā wāhanga o te pouri, arā, te whakakāhore, te riri, te whiriwhiri, te pouri, me te whakaae, ko ngā taahiraa anō hoki ēnei hei whakaora i te ngākau maru. Tērā pea ka ngaro koe i roto i ngā pātai pēnei i te, "'He aha i pā ai tēnei ki ahau?", "He aha rānei kāore e taea e au te whakarerekē?", "Kua mutu taku ao ināianei?", engari he mea nui kia mārama he wāhanga noa iho tēnei o te tukanga."
"Kaua e whakaaroaro ki ngā pātai ka pātai atu koe ki a koe anō, ā, kia kaua e whakapā atu ki tō hoa o mua i ēnei wā," te kī a Kavita.
6. Me pēhea te whakaora i te ngākau maru: Whakamahia te ture kore-pā
te ture kore-pā ko te tikanga kāore koe e kōrero ki tō hoa o mua, ahakoa te roa o te wā e pai ake ai koe. E kī ana a Kavita ki a tātou te hiranga o te tango i ngā momo me ngā whakamatautauranga katoa o te kōrero, me te rapu huarahi hei whakaora i te ngākau maru, hei neke whakamua.
"Ko te tangata nāna i whakapouri tō ngākau, kāore pea ia e āwhina i a koe kia puta i taua mamae, nā te mea kei te piri tonu koe ki a ia. Nui atu i ngā kare ā-roto o te aroha, ko te piri e uaua ana ki a tātou te whakarērea."
"Nō reira, he mea tino nui kia mutu te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ki tō hoa o mua. Kaua e kōrerorero, kaua e waea atu, kaua e whaiwhai i ā rātou pāpāho pāpori, kaua hoki e kōrero ki ngā hoa noa. Hoatu kia 30 ki te 60 ngā rā kia pai ai te tango i ngā paitini."
Hei te mutunga, ka pai ake tō tūnga ki te taunekeneke ki tō hoa o mua mēnā e tika ana, engari ka taea e koe te mahi pera me te kore he whakaaro kino, he tumanako rānei e piri ana.
Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te neke whakamua ina kei te aroha tonu koe ki tō hoa o mua?
7. Kimihia he porowhita tautoko pai
Ina whakatau koe ki te haere ko koe anake, ko tāu mahi he whakaroa i tō tipu i te mea ka taea. Mā te ngana ki te whakatau i te mamae ko koe anake ka nui ake te kino i te pai, ka kitea e koe ina roa koe e noho pōuri ana.
"Kimihia he porowhita pai o te hunga e aroha ana ki a koe, e āhei ai koe te kukume mai i a koe i roto i tō rohe whakamarie, arā, te pouri e pā ana ki a koe. Kaua e whakakorekore i te āwhina a te hunga e arohaina ana e koe, kaua hoki e tino uaua ki te noho tonu i roto i te pouri," te kī a Kavita.
"Mēnā ka whakaae koe ki te tuku i te tangata ki te āwhina i a koe, ka taea e rātou te mahi pera. E kore e pai te 'whakaaro me pēhea te whakaora i te ngākau maru' māu anake," tāna tāpiri.
8. Whakakorikori tinana
Tērā pea he pono kei roto i ngā kupu tohutohu a ō hoa "haere mai ki waho mō te hikoi, ka pai ake tō wairua". Ki te mea kei te rapu koe i tētahi huarahi hei whakaora i te ngākau maru me te pūtaiao kei muri i tēnā, rangahau kua kōrero mai ki a mātou, ina honoa te korikori tinana ki te rongoā hinengaro, ka tino whakamama i ngā tohu o te pouri.
Ka whakapuaki a Kavita i ōna whakaaro mō tēnei kaupapa. "Mō te pouri, ko te mea anake ka taea te āwhina wawe i a koe ko te whakakori tinana. I a koe e pupuhi ana i te werawera, ka uru mai ngā homoni harikoa ki roto i tō tinana, ā, ka tīmata koe ki te whai tumanako mō te heke mai."
Ina e rapu ana koe ki te whawhai ki ngā tohu ā-tinana o te ngakau pouriKo te whakakorikori tinana pea te huarahi pai rawa atu hei whakatutuki i tēnā. Haere ki te whare takaro tinana, ka mihi atu tō ngākau, tō tinana, tō hinengaro me tō wairua ki a koe mō tēnā.
9. Whakaaetia kāore tō whanaungatanga i tino tika
"Ka wareware tātou ki ngā mea katoa i hē, ka arotahi ki te aroha nui ki tō tātou hoa o mua," te kī a Kavita. Kia mutu te whanaungatanga, ko ngā wāhanga pai anake ka maumaharahia e tātou, ā, ka mutu ka whakanuia e tātou.
"Tirohia te wheako katoa kia tino mārama, kaua ko ngā wāhanga pai anake. Mēnā he mea nui, me aro nui atu koe ki ngā wāhanga kino, me te rapu i te take i puta ai te wehenga. Āta tirohia tēnā, kia mārama hoki me tupu tēnei. Mā te nui o tō whakaaro ki tēnei mea, ka nui ake tō mōhio me i haere tonu, kua kino rawa atu," tāna tāpiri.
10. Kia tupato koe
Kāo, ehara ngā mea e whakaatuhia ana i roto i ngā kiriata i te mea e tika ana kia pā ki a koe. Kāore he take o te wā inu waipiro, ā, me karo rawa te piki o te taumaha i muri i te wehenga. Ki te hiahia pono koe ki te mōhio me pēhea te whakaora i te ngākau maru, whakapono mai ki a mātou ina kī mātou kāore e uru ana ki te mangere.
"Ko te aroha ki a koe anō he mea nui ki te aro nui ki te tangata. Te āhua o tāu kai, ō kākahu, tō āhua, te nui o tō moe, te pai o te noho tahi, te whakahoahoa rānei. Whakauru atu ki ngā mahi whakangahau kua whakarērea e koe, kaua e tino uru ki ngā mahi kino pēnei i te inu waipiro me te petipeti," te kī a Kavita.
11. Kaua e whakatakoto i tētahi rā kati mō te whakaora
I a koe e rapu ana i te huarahi hei whakaora i te ngākau maru, kaua e whakatakoto i ētahi wā kati māu hei pupuri. "Ki te kore e tere te tupu o ngā mea, ngana kia kaua e pouri, he maha ngā wā ka roa ki te whakarērea he whanaungatanga roa,” te kī a Kavita.
"Ki taku whakaaro, ko te wā e hiahiatia ana kia tino ora ai i muri i te tukatuka i ō tueke, mai i te ono marama ki te kotahi tau. Ahakoa kāore koe e tino ahu whakamua i roto i ngā marama e toru, kaua rawa ngā whakaaro pēnei i te 'kei te hē tetahi mea ki ahau, e kore rawa ahau e puta i tēnei' e puta ki roto i tō hinengaro," tāna tāpiri.
12. Kaua e tukua kia kaha ake te āwangawanga i a koe
Ka mutu pea te wehenga o te hoa aroha me te mea kua whakakahoretia koe. Whai muri i tētahi whakakahoretanga nui pēnei, ka puta he raupapa pātai e whakaoho ana i te whakaroa me te kore whakapono ki a koe anō. E kī mai ana a Kavita ki a tātou te kino ka pā mai i tēnei.
"Ko ngā whakaaro pēnei i te 'Kāore au i te pai' me te 'Nāku tēnei i pēnei ai, kua mate ahau', tae atu ki te 'Kāore au e kimi i tētahi atu', he mea noa katoa, ahakoa kāore i tika kia pērā. Kia mōhio koe he tokorua ngā tāngata hei mahi tango, nō reira, tera pea he pānga tō kōrua ki te mutunga o te hihiri."
13. Tātarihia te mea i hē ai koe
Kia mutu te whanaungatanga ki tētahi, he tino māmā te takaro i te kāri patunga, me te ngana ki te huri i te hē ki tō hoa o mua. Engari i a koe e rapu ana me pēhea te whakaora i te ngākau maru, he mea nui kia tirohia te mea i hē, tae atu ki te wā i tino pā kino ai tō reo. Kāore pea koe i te mōhio. ko koe te raruraru o tō whanaungatanga.
"Tirohia ngā takoha i arahi ai ki te wehenga. Ka puta tēnei mahi i muri tata mai, ina oti te ako nui mō te whakaora i te ngākau maru me te neke atu, ka haere tonu. Whakaarohia ō whanonga, ō kōrero, ō mahi, tae atu ki ō whakaaro. Tērā pea ko ngā ngoikoretanga te take i puta ai te wehenga," te kī a Kavita.
Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te wareware i tētahi e kite ana koe i ia rā, ā, ka kitea te rangimārie
14. Rukuhia koe ki ngā mahinga hou
Nā te mea kei a koe tēnei wā katoa, tera pea ka whakamahia e koe tēnei wā kia rite ki te nuinga o tātou e tata ana ki te wehenga: te whakaaro nui ki tō whanaungatanga i a Netflix e purei ana i muri. Nā te mea kua mōhio kē koe ehara tēnei i te mea tika kia mahia e koe, ka whakamārama mai a Kavita me pēhea te whakatau i tēnei raruraru.
"Whakaarohia ngā mahi e hiahia ana koe ki te whakatutuki i roto i te rā, kia mau ki tētahi kaupapa mahi, kia arotahi ki tō umanga ngaio. Mena kei te whare wānanga koe, whiriwhiria ētahi mahi i waho o te whare wānanga, kia arotahi ki aua mahi. Whakaarohia he tīmatanga hou, waihangahia he mahinga hou, ā, kia mau tonu ki tēnā."
15. Kaua e whakataurite ki ō hoa kua moe tahi
He mea whakamiharo te whakaaro, i a koe e whakapau kaha ana ki te whakaora i te ngākau maru, ko ngā tohu aroha anake ka kitea e koe i tō taha. Kātahi ka tīmata koe ki te kite i ngā mea katoa i roto i ngā takirua takirua. Ina tino hoha ngā kiriata aroha me ngā whakaahua takirua o ō hoa i runga i te Instagram, ka kī mai a Kavita he pai ki te whai wā mōu ake.
"Ki te mea kua riri koe i te tūtakitanga ki ngā hoa kei roto i ngā whanaungatanga, he pai rawa te kī atu ki a rātou me whai wā okioki koe i mua i te wā ka taea e koe te noho tahi anō me rātou. Ka whakataurite tātou i a tātou anō ki te hunga kei a rātou ō rātou hoa, ā, ka mutu pea ka whakaititia koe e te whakaaro. I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, he pai te tango wā okioki mōu ake, me te whakamahara i a koe anō ki ngā mea e pā ana ki te ngā painga o te noho takakau. "
Kia pēhea te roa e ora ai te ngākau maru?
He koretake te whakatakoto i tētahi anga wā tino tika mō tētahi mea pēnei i te ako me pēhea te whakaora i te ngākau maru, me te neke atu. I te mutunga iho, he rerekē te tukatuka a tātou katoa i ō tātou kare ā-roto, ā, he rerekē te roa o te wā e pau ana ki te ako i ngā mea e tika ana.
Ahakoa rā, e ai ki tā Kavita, tērā pea ka roa pea i waenga i te ono marama ki te kotahi tau, ki te roa atu rānei, mēnā e tika ana, ā, e ai ki ia take. Heoi, ehara i te mea koinei te wā e hiahia ana a Kavita kia arotahi atu. Engari, e kī mai ana ia me pēhea tātou e titiro ai ki te tukanga whakaora katoa i te tuatahi.
"Me whakaaro ki tō whakaoranga hei wheketere whakahou, kaua hei whare karāti e maka atu ai ō raruraru kia wareware ai koe. Whakapaua he wā ki te kimi me te kimi anō i a koe anō. Whakauru atu ki tētahi akoranga, whai i tētahi mahi whakangahau, hoki atu ki ō mahi whakangahau tawhito."
"I te mutunga o te rā, me awhi koe i te oranga hou e tatari ana ki a koe. Ko te whakaaro ki ngā mea pēnei i te 'Kāore e taea e au te ora me te kore taua tangata' me te 'Kāore he oranga mōku me te kore ia' he whakaaturanga katoa ēnei o te piripono, ehara i te aroha."
"Kāore te aroha e hiahia ki tētahi whanaungatanga; ka taea hoki te whakatipu ahakoa kāore he whanaungatanga. Kia tae ki te rā ka mōhio koe kāore koe e hiahia ki tētahi whanaungatanga hei manaaki i tētahi, hei manaaki hoki i a rātou i tōna haerenga, ka memeha haere ōu mauahara."
Kāore e taea te kimi huarahi hei whakaora i te ngākau maru ina mahi koe ko koe anake. Kia maumahara koe kei te taha tonu koe e te āwhina, arā, ko te hunga e arohaina ana e tino manaaki ana. Ko te tumanako ka āwhina ngā tohutohu 15 i whakatakotoria e mātou i a koe ki te hoki ki tō haerenga ki te kimi i a koe anō.
11 Tohutohu Whai Hua hei Whakangaromia Tere te Aroha o tētahi
Me pēhea taku neke atu i te aroha taha-kotahi? E kī ana tā mātou tohunga ki a koe…
Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
