Ngā Taupānga Whakaipoipo Pai rawa atu hei Tīmata Kōrerorero, he Tino Whai Hua

Mō te angitu i roto i te whakaipoipo ipurangi, he maha ngā mea e whakawhirinaki ana ki te whakamahi i ngā taupānga whakaipoipo tika hei tīmatanga kōrero. He rerekē ki tētahi whakaipoipo tūturu, kāore he wāhi hei whakaatu i tō tuakiri me tō ataahua. Ko ngā kupu anake hei whakaoho i te hiahia o tētahi hoa pea, hei whakatairanga hoki i ngā mea.

Ehara i te mea me karo noa koe i ngā kare whakarihariha, engari me kōrero hoki i ngā mea e hiahia ai te tangata ki te kōrero ki a koe. I runga i te pepa, he mahi uaua pea tēnei, engari ki te mōhio koe ki te whakamahi, ehara i te mea uaua rawa.

Mā te tango i tētahi whārangi mai i tā rātou kōtaha, te pātai i ngā pātai tika, te whiriwhiri i ō kupu me te whakaaro nui – he uaua pea te whakataurite i te mōhio ki te tīmata kōrero i runga i tētahi taupānga whakaipoipo. Mā ētahi tohutohu whakaipoipo mahi ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakatakoto i tētahi rautaki pakari mō ngā tīmatanga kōrero ipurangi e whai hua ana.

Ngā Mea Kaua e Kōrerohia Ina Tīmata Kōrero Ana I Te Taupānga Teití

I mua i te peke atu ki ngā tīmatanga kōrero mō te whakaipoipo ipurangi, he mea nui kia kite i ngā mea kāore e tika kia kōrerohia e koe, kei kore koe e whiwhi whakautu mai i te hoa Tinder/Bumble i moemoeāhia e koe i te ata katoa. Nā te mea he pēhanga kei roto kia tonu Kia mataara, kia tino mōhio koe kāore pea he whakautu e hiahiatia ana i tētahi kupu whakataki ngoikore.

Kia kore ai koe e noho hei tangata e ka waihotia kia pānuihia nā tētahi i taumautia e koe i ētahi hēkona kua pahure ake nei, koinei ngā mea me maumahara koe:

1. Kaua e "Hey & Inoi"

Ko te tuku karere kuputuhi "Kia ora!" hei tīmatanga kōrero mō ngā taupānga whakaipoipo he whiu mate. Engari, he nui te mahi a ngā taupānga whakaipoipo, ā, ko ngā mea kāore i te kōrero whakakatakata, i te pātai tuwhera rānei, kāore pea e whiwhi whakautu. Ki te kore koe he tangata rongonui (kāore koe e manukanuka ki ngā tīmatanga kōrero pai mō te whakaipoipo ipurangi), ngana kia kaua e kī noa i te "Kia ora".

2. Kaua e whakamataku

Āe, he pono, he tino ataahua te tangata i taumautia e koe i runga i te Tinder. Engari i a koe e whakaaro ana ki ngā tīmatanga kōrero i runga i te Tinder, kaua e noho noa ki te kī "He tino ātaahua koe". Ko te tīmata tonu me te kōrero whai hiahia, kāore e nui te painga mōu, inā koa he tāne koe.

Ae, kei te rapu pea koe i tētahi mea o ia rā, engari he nui te wā hei kōrero mō tēnā, ā, kāore koe e hiahia ki te haere mai me te kī whakaaro nui, "Kei te hiahia koe ki te moe tahi?"

3. Kaua e kino

I mua i tō tukunga atu i tētahi wero kino ki tētahi tangata e whakaahua ana i a ia he "tātaritanga" iti, pātai atu ki a koe anō, ka pērā anō rānei koe ki tētahi i tūtaki tuatahi ai koe i te ao tūturu? Ina ngana ana koe ki te kimi i te tīmatanga kōrero i runga i te Bumble, i tētahi atu taupānga rānei, he mea nui kia mārama koe kaua rawa e whakarērea te tikanga rangatira.

Pērā i ngā kōrero katoa o tō ao, ahakoa i muri i te mata, i te kanohi ki te kanohi rānei, kia whakaute, kia whakamere hoki. Kaua e tumanako ka kōrero mai tēnei tangata kāore koe i te mōhio ki a koe nā te mea he ōrite kōrua. Kia kaha, kia kaha te mahi, kia tumanako hoki mō te pai.

Ā, ki te hiahia koe ki te whakaiti i te whai wāhi mai o te waimarie ki ō mahi whakaipoipo i roto i te taupānga whakaipoipo, pānuihia kia kitea ai me pēhea te whakanui ake i ō tupono ki te kimi i tētahi hei hoa māu ki te mātaki tere i ō whakaaturanga tino pai.

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Me pēhea te whakaatu i a koe anō i roto i te whakaipoipo ipurangi?

Nā te mea kua mōhio koe kāore e ranea ngā kupu 'Kia ora!', 'Kei te pēhea koe?' me 'Kei te pēhea koe?', me whakaaro tātou he aha tāu e mahi ai. He āhuatanga kei roto i te noho muna o ngā taupānga whakaipoipo e meinga ai te tangata kia he tino uaua ki te miharoMā te whakataki tika hei tīmata kōrero i runga i tētahi taupānga whakaipoipo ka taea te pupuri i te hiahia o tētahi tangata. Anei ētahi tohutohu hei whakatau i te raruraru 'me pēhea te whakataki i a koe i runga i te whakaipoipo ipurangi' māu:

1. Kia mau tonu

I te mea he tokomaha te hunga e raru ana ki te pātai "Me pēhea te whakaatu i a koe anō ki te ipurangi?", he maha ngā wā ka arai te whakaroa i a rātou ki te tīmata kōrero. Nō reira, ka ngaro i a rātou te whai wāhi ki te hono atu. Ki te kore e kitea e koe ngā kupu tika, kia māmā noa iho.

Ka taea e koe te tīmata kōrero i runga i tētahi taupānga whakaipoipo mā te kī noa "Kia ora! I kite ahau kei te aroha koe ki ngā kurī..." me te kī atu rānei "Kia ora! Ko Mark ahau, kei te pēhea a Sunday i a koe?"

2. Tāpirihia he pa whaiaro

Ko tētahi atu huarahi māmā hei hopu i te aro o tētahi atu tangata i a koe e whakaatu ana i a koe anō i runga i te taupānga Dating ko te mihi ki a rātou. Tāpirihia noa ō rātou ingoa ki te karere 'kia ora'. Hei tauira, 'Kia ora, e Janet! Ko Mark ahau.'

3. Tāpirihia he hurihanga rerekē

Ki te mea he mea noa iho te whakakatakata ki a koe, ki te mea rānei he taha rerekē tōu, whakamahia. Pērā ai, kāore koe e manukanuka ki te pēhea e whakaatu ai koe i a koe i te wā e whakaipoipo ana koe i runga ipurangi. Ka taea e koe te whakamātau i tētahi mea pēnei:

'Kia ora, e Janet! Ko Mark tēnei. Koinā anake te reo Wīwī e mōhiotia ana e au.'

or

He katakata rongonui mō te patuki, patuki:

'Patō, Patō'

'Ko wai kei reira?'

'Nāni'

'Ko wai a Nancy?'

'Ehara i a Drew.'

Āe, tera pea ka taea e koe te whakaaro i tētahi katakata pai ake i tēnā, engari ko te kaupapa tonu, ina rapu koe i te hunga pai hei tīmatanga kōrero mō te whakaipoipo ipurangi, ko te katakata te mea nui.

4. Tangohia tetahi mea mai i tā rātou kōtaha

He huarahi tino pai te kōrero ki tētahi tangata mō tētahi mea e pai ana ki a ia hei whakatairanga i te kōrero. Nō reira, i mua i te tīmatanga o tētahi kōrero, whakapaua he wā ki te tirotiro i tana kōtaha. Kimihia ōna hiahia, ka whatua ki roto i te karere whakataki. Ahakoa kei te hiahia koe ki te mōhio me pēhea te mihi atu ki a ia i runga i te Bumble, i te Tinder rānei, he mahi kua whakamatauria, ā, e kore e hē te whakamahi.

"E hoa, he kaimātakitaki Netflix tonu koe. Tēnā koa, kōrero mai kua mātakitaki nui koe i te Money Heist."

or

'E hoa, e kite ana ahau kei te pai koe ki te waina me te tiihi. He tūponotanga! Ka haere mātou ko aku hoa ki tētahi hakari whakamātautau i te wiki e tū mai nei.'

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te tautuhi i ngā hapa i roto i te whakaipoipo ipurangi!

5. Whakamahia ō kupu āhua ki te whakaaro nui

Ahakoa te nui o tō whakaaro ka taea e ngā kupu pēnei i te 'ataahua', te 'ātaahua', te 'tino ātaahua', te 'whakaihiihi' rānei te whakahihi o te tangata, te kukume i a rātou, he maha ngā wā kāore ēnei e mahi. I te ao whakaipoipo ipurangi, ka tirohia ēnei he kupu whakaipoipo moepuku. Ko te tikanga ka puta koe hei tangata whakamataku, piri rānei.

Nō reira, me karo i ēnei mea e whai ake nei:

'Āe, tino ataahua!'

'Āe, tino ātaahua!'

'Hei! He kōtiro ātaahua koe.' he 'Hei! He tangata ātaahua koe!'

Me pēhea te tīmata kōrero i runga i tētahi taupānga whakaipoipo?

Nō reira, kua whakautu mai tō hoa rangatira, ā, kua whakawhitiwhiti kōrero pai kōrua. Nā te mea kua whai hua tō whakataki, he aha te mahi i muri mai? He mea nui kia tūpato hoki koe mai i konei, kia hanga i runga i te turanga kua whakatakotoria e koe, kaua e whakangaro noa iho. Anei ētahi tohutohu tīmatanga kōrero mō ngā taupānga whakaipoipo e tino whai hua ana:

1. Kia mōhio ake koe ki a rātou

Mena kei te rapu koe i ngā tīmatanga kōrero i runga i te Tinder (e pai ana te mahi i runga i te Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid, me ērā atu mea anō hoki), ka tūtohu mātou kia tīmata koe ki te mōhio ki te tangata kēHe huarahi pai tēnei hei whakaatu ki tētahi kei te hiahia pono koe ki te mōhio ki te tangata kei muri i te kōtaha.

Anei ētahi tīmatanga kōrero tuihono pai hei whakawhanaungatanga tetahi ki tetahi, ā, he whai hua ēnei:

• Kei hea koe?
• Ko hea koe i tipu?
• Kia pēhea te roa o tō noho ki Seattle?
• Nō Texas koe. Ki taku whakaaro he tangata pārekareka hoki koe ki te whutupaoro?
• I tipu ake koe i Boston? He tino pai ki a koe aua koko Honeycomb Creamery!

2. He pai ngā mihi hei tīmatanga kōrero mō ngā taupānga whakaipoipo

Ohorere, ohorere! Kei te whai hua tonu te tikanga tawhito o te whakanui i te tangata e aroha ana ki a ia (he hoa rānei, i tēnei wā) ki ngā mihi. Me mōhio noa koe ki ngā kupu tika me te huarahi tika ki te kī, kei tūpono koe ki te whakaroa i te whakaaro o te tangata. Ko te mea kino rawa atu, ina mihi mai rātou, ā, kāore he kupu hei whakautu māu, ka puta he wā whakamā ki te kōrero. Ko ēnei mihi te tīmatanga kōrero pai rawa atu i runga ipurangi e whai hua ana:

• Āe, i haere koe ki te retihuka i ngā Maunga Ārepo o Huiterangi. He tangata tino pai koe ki ngā mahi mōrearea.
• He reka te āhua o taua kai o te Whakawhetai. He tino pai rawa atu pea tō tunu kai.
• Me nui te maia e hiahiatia ana hei hopu i ngā tāngata kino hei oranga.

Anei ngā mea KAUA e kōrerotia, inā koa i tō kōrero tuatahi:

• I te tirotiro haere ahau i ō whakaahua, he tino ātaahua tō tinana.
• He tino ātaahua te ira i tō kaki.
• E miharo ana ahau ki tō ātaahua me te kore taua hāte.

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3. He pai ngā mahi whakangahau me ngā hiahia hei tīmatanga kōrero mō te whakaipoipo

He rite tēnei ki te pātai atu ki tētahi tangata mō ōna tau o mua. Ko te kōrero mō ngā hākinakina me ngā hiahia he tīmatanga kōrero pai mō te whakaipoipo mō ngā take e rua - tuatahi, ka mōhio te tangata kei te hiahia koe ki a ia, kaua ki te noho noa iho; tuarua, ka tukuna he whai wāhitanga nui ki te kimi i ngā mea e rite ana. Anei me pēhea te whakamahi i ngā hākinakina me ngā hiahia hei tīmatanga kōrero Hinge, Bumble, Tinder rānei:

• He aha te momo kai e pai ana ki a koe?
• 500 Ngā Rā o te Raumati, Notting Hill rānei? Avatar rānei, Inception rānei?
• He aha te sitcom i tipu ake ai koe?
• Ko tēhea te pukapuka kotahi kua pānuihia e koe neke atu i te kotahi?
• Mō tēhea whakaaturanga a te kaiwhakakata tū ka hokona e koe he tīkiti i te rārangi mua?

4. Mā te kōrero whakaaro noa ka āwhina i te haere tonu o te kōrero

Kua angitu koe i ngā raruraru whakamataku e rua – me pēhea te whakaatu i a koe anō i roto i te whakaipoipo ipurangi, me pēhea hoki te tīmata kōrero i runga i te taupānga Dating. Āta tautokohia koe. Engari kua tae mai te wāhanga uaua o te pupuri i te kōrero. He huarahi pai ngā pātai whakaaro noa hei whakatutuki i tēnā.

Anei ngā whakaaro ka taea e koe te whakamahi hei neke whakamua mai i ngā tīmatanga kōrero i roto i ngā taupānga whakaipoipo:

• E rima ngā tāngata rongonui ka puta i runga i tāu rārangi manuhiri tino pai mō te tina.
• He aha tāu e mea ai mēnā kāore koe i hiahia ki te mahi?
• Tautuhia tō hararei moemoeā.
• Mena he kāri putanga-kore-i-te-whareherehere tāu, he aha tāu e whakamahi ai?
• Me he mea ko koe te tangata tuatahi ki te takahi i te marama, he aha tāu e kī ai?
• He aha tāu e kī ai mēnā ka tono atu ahau i a koe kia haere ki te whakatau?

5. Kōrerohia tētahi kōrero whakakatakata e pā ana ki tētahi mea e kōrerohia ana e koe

Ki te mea kua kitea e kōrua ngā mea e pai ana ki a kōrua, he wā tika tēnei ki te whakapuaki i tētahi kōrero e pā ana ki aua mea. Mā tēnei ka haere tonu te kōrero, ā, ka mōhio ia kei a koe ētahi kōrero whakakatakata. I mua i tō whakapuakitanga i ēnei kōrero, pātai atu ki a koe anō mēnā kua kata tetahi atu i mua.

Kāore koe e hiahia ki te whakapuaki i tētahi kōrero ngoikore i raro i te pēhanga o te rapu i ngā tīmatanga kōrero pai mō te whakaipoipo ipurangi. Kia rite katoa koe, koinei te huarahi hei tīmata ki te whakapuaki i ō kōrero pakiwaitara:

• He pai ki a koe te pēihipora? I ahau e tamariki ana, i takaro tahi mātou ko ōku hoa, ā…
• He pai ki a koe ngā makimaki o te Arctic! I tēnei wā, i haere māua ko taku hoa ki te mātakitaki i a rātou i te ao tūturu, ā…
• I kite ahau i haere koe ki Ūropi! I tēnei wā i a au e hikoi ana i roto i te Hauāuru o Ūropi…

6. Whakamahia ngā āhuatanga motuhake mō te tono

Mā Tinder koe e whakaatu i tō Spotify, mā Hinge koe e whakaatu i tō Instagram, mā Bumble koe e whakaatu i te āhua o te tangata, ā, mā OKCupid koe e whakamārama he aha kōrua i tino pai ai tetahi ki tetahi.

Whakamahia ēnei āhuatanga motuhake mō te taupānga i a koe e rapu ana i ngā tīmatanga kōrero i runga i te bumble, i tētahi atu taupānga rānei. Ka taea e koe te kī pēnei i:

• I kite noa ahau i ō kaitoi rongonui i Spotify, he tino pai ki ahau rātou katoa!
• He tino ātaahua te āhua o tō Instagram, ā, he tino ataahua! I tangohia te whakaahua i hea?
• He pai ki ahau tēnei whakautu i homai e koe i tō kōtaha, he rite tonu ōku whakaaro.

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7. Pātaihia ngā pātai ngahau, tuwhera hoki

Mena kei te pai te haere o te kōrero, ā, kei te rapu koe i ngā mea hei kōrero māu, ngā pātai ngahau tuwhera ka taea te mahi tino pai. Hei tētahi o ngā tīmatanga kōrero pai mō te whakaipoipo ipurangi, ka taea hoki e ia te tīmata i tētahi kōrero whakahihiri. Kāore ianei i te rite te mahere mai i te tīmatanga?

He aha te mea hei pātai māu? Anei ētahi tauira:

• Ko tēhea te whakaaturanga kotahi ka taea e koe te mātaki haere tonu?
• He pai ake koe ki te ngeru, ki te kuri ranei?
• He aha te mea tino whakarihariha kua mahia e koe?
• He aha to kararehe wairua?

8. Whakamutua i runga i tētahi kupu whakaari

I te mea ko tāu kōrero tuatahi tēnei me tētahi e hiahia ana koe ki te kōrero, me arotahi koe ki te mahi tika me te puta atu i te wā tika. He mea nui kia mutu tā kōrua kōrero tuatahi i mua i te paunga o ngā mea hei kōrero mā kōrua. I taua wā anō, kaua e tere te mahi. Waitohu me te oati ki te tīmata anō i te wāhi i mutu ai kōrua. Anei ētahi tohutohu hei whakamutu i tā kōrua kōrero tuatahi te rā ipurangi korerorero:

• He mea ngahau tēnei. Kia tūtaki anō tātou a mua tata nei.
• He ata pō tōku āpōpō. Me mahi anō tātou i tēnei a mua tata nei.
• He mea ngahau te kōrero ki a koe. Kei te tumanako atu ahau ki ētahi atu.
• Kia pai tō pō. Kōrero mai.

Mā te whakamahi i ngā taupānga whakaipoipo tika hei tīmatanga kōrero, ka taea e koe te whakaoho i te hiahia me te hihiri, ā, ka whakatū i te turanga hei whakatairanga i ngā mea. Me whakamahi tonu i ēnei tohutohu me ngā tinihanga kia pai rā anō kōrua te noho tahi, kia rere noa ai te kōrero. Ina tupu tēnā, tonoa rāua kia haere tahi ki tētahi rā tino pai.

Aki pro: Kia kite koe kāore mātou i whakahua i ngā kupu whakahihiri, ngā kupu whakakatakata rānei? Nā te mea i te nuinga o te wā, kāore e tino whai hua. Kāore i te tino maiohahia ngā kupu whakakatakata, ā, tera pea ētahi e kite he mea whakarihariha mēnā ka hanga kupu whakakatakata koe mō ō rātou ingoa. Ā, ki te kore tō kupu whakahihiri he mea tino taketake (arā, kāore koe i tango mai i a Google), me piri ki ngā tīmatanga kōrero whakaipoipo ipurangi kua whakarārangihia e mātou māu.

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.