He uaua te whakatere i ngā whanaungatanga aroha, inā koa i te tīmatanga ina tino kaha rawa koe ki te ngaru o te aroha, ā, kei te kimi tonu koe i te manawataki mō tō kōrua hononga. He tokomaha o tātou, ahakoa kāore i te mōhio, ka hē ki te taha o te piripono rawa, te hiahia rānei. Heoi, me mārama koe ki taua āhua, ā, me whakarērea atu hoki, nā te mea ko te piripono i roto i te whanaungatanga te huarahi tere ki te whakararuraru.
Me whai wāhi whaiaro pai ia whanaungatanga kia tupu pai ai. Kāore e taea te tumanako ka harikoa tō hoa ki te kōrero ki a koe mēnā ka tangohia e ia tā rātou waea ka kite i te rerenga karere mai i a koe, nā te mea he pukumahi ia mō te haurua o te rā.
Ahakoa kua mōhio koe ki ngā tūponotanga o te hiahia nui rawa i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, kua taka pea koe ki roto i te rua rāpeti o te hae, ngā whakapae me te pātai tonu ki tō hoa. Hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakatere i ēnei kare ā-roto kino, i kōrero mātou ki tētahi tohunga hinengaro tohutohu. Gopa Khan (Tohu Paerua i roto i te Hinengaro Tohutohu, M.Ed) he tohunga ki te tohutohu mō te marena me te whānau.
He aha ngā take e piri ai te whanaungatanga
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Ko te āhua o te whakahaere a te tangata i ngā whanaungatanga aroha he toronga atu i ētahi āhuatanga me ngā au o te tangata e moe ana, kāore pea rātou e mōhio. Koia te take e whakatau tonu ai ētahi o tātou i ngā kōwhiringa tika i roto i ā tātou whanaungatanga, ko ētahi e neke haere ana i tētahi raruraru wera ki tētahi atu. Ko tētahi tawhā matua hei aromatawai i te kaha o te tangata ki te whakahaere pai i ngā whanaungatanga ko te āhua o tā rātou whakahaere i te wehenga o te whanaungatanga piripono me te wāhi whaiaro.
Gopa Khan e whakamārama mai ana i te take pea e piri ai te tangata, me pēhea hoki e kino ai te whanaungatanga. "Ina piri te tangata i roto i te whanaungatanga, he maha ngā wā nā te mea kua kore ia e māia mai i tōna tamarikitanga. Ā, ko tōna kore māia i ahu mai i te whanaungatanga uaua ki ōna kaitiaki matua. Ina kore te mātua matua e wātea ki te taha kare ā-roto, ka kore ia e māia."
"He tangata piri tonu te tangata koretake. I ētahi wā ka kite tātou i te tangata e tipu haere ana i waho o taua whanaungatanga, engari ki te kore te whanaungatanga e whakatikahia, ka mau tonu te whanonga. He kiritaki taku he taiohi pakeke, ā, he tino kino tana whanaungatanga ki ōna mātua. Nō reira, i ia wā ka uru atu ia ki ngā whanaungatanga, ka uru atu ia ki ngā whanaungatanga piri. E mārama ana ia ki tēnā ināianei, engari nā te mea he tino matea te hiahia ki te noho tahi, he wero tonu te kore piri," tana kī.
Ki te mea ka ara ake ō āwangawanga i te whakaaro kei te hiahia tō hoa ki tētahi wāhi whaiaro, ā, ka nui ake tō piri ki a rātou, ko te āhua o te kore haumaru te take. Ki te tātarihia e tātou te take o te piripono i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, ka kitea ko tā tātou kāhua āpitihanga i te wā e pakeke ana, ko ō tātou maharatanga tōmua mō te whanaungatanga i waenganui i a tātou me ō tātou mātua e whakahaeretia ana.
Nō reira, ko te hunga i tipu ake i roto i te whakaaro kāore i arohaina, kāore hoki i maiohahia e ō rātou kaitiaki tuatahi, ka kī tonu i te koretake o te māia me te wehi kei whakarērea. Ko te whanonga piripono i ahu mai i ēnei ngoikoretanga kare ā-roto. Ko te piripono i roto i te whanaungatanga ka pana noa i te hoa kē atu, ā, ka mau te tangata i roto i te porowhita kino o te hiahia me te mate. Ka whakanui ake tēnei i ō rātou hiahia hiahia me te piripono.
Te pānui e pā ana: He aha ngā rerekētanga o te hae i waenganui i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine
Ngā Tohu e Piri Ana Koe i roto i te Hononga
Ko te tangata e whakaatu ana i ngā āhuatanga hiahia kore e mārama ki te tikanga o te whanaungatanga piripono. Anei ngā tohu matua tekau e whakaatu ana kei te piripono koe i roto i te whanaungatanga:
- Ka whakaaroaro koe kei hea rātou, ā, he aha rātou kāore ai e aro mai mēnā he iti noa iho te āwangawanga te whakaroa i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero mai i tērā taha.
- Ka mataku koe mēnā kāore koe i rongo i a rātou mō ētahi haora. Ka whakaaro koe kei roto rātou i tētahi āhuatanga morearea, kua wehe atu rānei i a koe.
- Ahakoa te whakaaro noa ki tō hoa e haere ana ki waho me te ngahau i waho i a koe, ka riri tonu koe.
- Ka tirotirohia rātou e koe, ka pātai i ngā pātai maha, ka tirotirohia kei hea rātou, kātahi ka whakaū i tā rātou kōrero mai i tētahi atu puna.
- Ki te kore koe e makona ki ā rātou whakautu, e kore koe e whakaroa i mua i te toro atu 'noa' ki tā rātou tari, ki tā rātou wāhi tino pai rānei, kia tino mōhio ai koe.
- Kua tapahia atu e koe ō hoa me ō whanaungatanga katoa i tō ao. Ka whakatapua e koe tō wā me tō aro katoa ki tō hoa rangatira.
- Ka riro ō rātou hiahia me ō rātou wātaka hei mea māu anō hoki. Ka tīmata koe ki te ngaro i tō tuakiri.
- He mea noa iho i roto i tō kōrua whanaungatanga te tirotiro i te waea, īmēra me ngā pūkete pāpāho pāpori a tō hoa.
- Kei te hiahia koe ki te haere tahi me rātou ahakoa te wāhi e haere ana rātou.
- E whakarihariha ana koe ki ngā whanaungatanga tata a tō hoa, ahakoa ki ōna hoa, ki ōna hoa mahi, ki ngā tuākana, ki ngā teina rānei, ki ngā mātua rānei, ā, he maha ngā wā ka pērā koe. hae i roto i tō whanaungatanga.
Nā te mea kua mōhio koe ki ngā tohu me te pūtake mai o te piripono, kua tae ki te wā ki te whakautu i te pātai i kawe mai i a koe ki konei i te tuatahi. He kino te piripono i roto i te whanaungatanga? Ka taea e te piripono rawa te whakangaro i te whanaungatanga? He aha ngā mea kei roto i te hinengaro o te tangata e whakaipoipo ana ki tētahi tangata piripono? Kia kitea ngā mea katoa e hiahia ana koe ki te mōhio.
7 Ngā Huarahi e Pāngia ai tō Oranga Aroha e te Piripiri i roto i te Hononga
Kāore e taea e te noho rangatira te ārahi i a koe ki tētahi whanaungatanga. I tētahi wā, ka ngenge tō hoa aroha i ōu āhua hiahia me ōu āhua piripono. Tērā pea ka mutu tā rātou mahi, ahakoa te nui o tō rātou aroha. Anei ngā huarahi e whitu ka taea ai e te piripono i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga te whakararu i tō oranga aroha:
1. Ka taea e tō hoa te pātai i tō kōrua hototahitanga
Ko te mahi hiahia me te piripono he whakaaturanga o te koretake, ka taea ai e tō hoa te ruarua mēnā he pai te hononga ki a kōrua hei pupuri i tētahi whanaungatanga roa. Ahakoa ngā whanaungatanga tino kaha ka whakangaueuetia e ēnei tauira. Mā tēnei ka tūpono koe ki te whakarērea anō e tētahi e arohaina ana.
I a ia e kōrero ana mō te kaupapa, e kī ana a Gopa "He maha āku kiritaki he hoa piripono ā rātou, e kī ana rātou kei te hiahia mātou ki te oma atu i tēnei marena, me te kī kāore e taea e rātou te manawanui atu. E maumahara ana ahau ki tētahi tāne i waea mai ki ahau, me te kī kei te waea mai tana wahine ki a ia e 60 ngā wā i roto i te haora! Nō reira, āe, ka pā ki a rātou nā te mea ka tino pāngia rātou e te te whanonga kore hauora.
"I te mutunga, kāore e waiho hei pātai mō te hototahitanga, engari hei pātai mō te kore wāhi manawa. I te mutunga, ka hiahia te tokorua ki te hāora, nā te mea kei te pēhia tonutia rāua e te mana pupuri. Ka hinga te whanaungatanga nā te mea kāore he wāhi manawa, ā, ka tīmata te hoa ki te rongo kua hemo te manawa," tāna tāpiri.
Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakatau i tētahi hoa tāne piripono?
2. Tērā pea ka ngaro te whakaaro nui ki a koe anō i tō hoa
Mā ō pātai maha, ō rangahau, me ō tirotiro ohorere ka tukuna he karere mārama ki tō hoa kāore koe e whakawhirinaki ana ki a ia. Mā te whakamārama me te whakamārama i a ia anō i ia taahiraa ka kino pea ki te whakaaro nui o tō hoa. Tērā pea ka whakama koe mō ō whanonga, ā, ka ngana koe ki te whakaora i a koe anō i muri i te piripono, engari kua pāngia koe e te kino.
3. He mea whakarihariha te piripono
"Kua kōrero mai ngā tāne ki ahau me whakaweto noa iho ā rātou waea," te kī a Gopa, mō te āhua o te hoa piripono ka taea te pei atu i tā rāua hoa aroha. "I kōrero mai tētahi tāne ki ahau i tino pouri tana wahine nā te mea kua 30 meneti ia i tomuri mai i te tari, ā, ka patupatu ia i tōna mahunga ki te pakitara. Ae, i reira anō hoki tētahi mate hinengaro e pā ana ki tēnā, engari he take nui tonu tēnei o te piripono i puta mai i te kore haumaru," tāna tāpiri.
"Nā te mea e hiahia ana tātou kia mau tonu tētahi tangata i roto i ō tātou ao, ka piri tonu tātou ki a ia, engari ko te ritenga kē ka puta, ā, ka mutu te pana atu i a rātou," te kī a Gopa.
"Ka taea e te piripono te whakangaro i te whanaungatanga?" Kāore e waiho hei pātai tautohetohe ina kite koe i te kino e puta mai ana. Ko te piripono me te ngana ki te pupuri kaha ki te hoa ka pana atu i a rātou kia tawhiti atu. He rite ki te ngana ki te hopu i te onepu, ko te kaha o te pupuri, ko te tere o te paheke atu i tō ringa.
Ina huri tō whanonga hiahia me te piripono hei tauira auau, ahakoa ō mahi tino reka, e kore e taea te whakarewa i te hukapapa. Nā te mea kei te noho tonu tō hoa me te mōhio kāore koe e whakawhirinaki ana ki a ia, ā, ka tīmata ia ki te kite i ō mahi whakapati he āhua noa iho.
4. Tērā pea ka mutu te whiriwhiri a tō hoa ki te aroha ki a koe
Ahakoa he mea ohorere te hinga ki te aroha, he kōwhiringa ia rā, ia rā te noho tonu ki te aroha. Kei te tuwhera tonu te kōwhiringa ki te noho, ki te wehe rānei i roto i te whanaungatanga, ā, ka kaha ake te hononga o te tokorua mā te whiriwhiri ki te noho tahi, i ia rā, i ia rā. Heoi, mā te piripono ki te whanaungatanga, ka hoatu e koe he take tika ki tō hoa ki te whakaaro anō ki taua kōwhiringa.
Ki te mea kei te whakamātautau tonu koe i te pono o tō hoa rangatira ki a koe, ā tōna wā ka ngenge rawa rātou. Ahakoa te kaha o tō aroha, me pupuri tonu ngā kaupapa matua o te whakawhirinaki, te tūmataitinga me te whakaute.
5. He kino te hae mō te whanaungatanga
"Ka taea e te piri rawa te whakangaro i te whanaungatanga? Ae, tino pono. Kāore ngā hoa piri e hiahia kia whai hoa ā rātou hoa rangatira o te ira tangata kē. Kāore rātou e pai ki te hararei takitahi ā rātou hoa rangatira, kāore e taea te whai pō ki waho me ō hoa," te kī a Gopa, mō te āhua o te piri ka arahi i ngā hoa ki te hae tonu, ā, āwangawanga mō te kore whakapono.
"I mua noa atu, he kiritaki tāku, ā, ka haere ia ki te tari o tana tāne ki te noho, nā te mea i tino māharahara ia, me te mea kei te kōrero tana tāne ki tētahi wahine," tāna tāpiri.
I ahu mai te whanonga piripono i te koretake o te whakaaro, engari ka tere tonu te huri hei hae, ā, he kino rawa atu tēnā mō te whanaungatanga. He kare ā-roto koretake te hae, ā, ka taea e koe te kōrero me te mahi i ngā mea pouri. Ka taea e koe te whakaatu i te mana whakahaere ki tō hoa nā ēnei kare ā-roto kino. Ka taea e ēnei āhuatanga te tangi hei patu i tō whanaungatanga mēnā kāore e tere te whakahaere.
6. Tērā pea ka tutuki tō moemoeā kino rawa atu: Te Whakaponokore
Ka taea te pēhi i te tangata ki tua o te pari mena ka whakamatautauria, ka pātaihia hoki tōna pono i ngā wā katoa. Tērā pea ka whiti rātou i te rohe o te pono. Ina āwangawanga tonu te hoa piripono kei kore tōna hoa e pono ki a rātou, tera pea ka noho pōuri tonu rātou.
Ahakoa kāore he whakamārama mō te tinihanga i roto i te whanaungatanga mēnā ka tinihanga tō hoa ki a koe, ā, ka whakapae i a koe mō tō tohe tonu, koinei tō moemoeā kino rawa atu e tū mai ana. Ka taea e tēnei te pā kino ki te whanaungatanga, ā, kāore te nuinga o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e ora ake i taua whanaungatanga.
7. Ka ngokingoki haere te tawhiti i roto i tō whanaungatanga
Ina piripono tetahi hoa i roto i te whanaungatanga, ka taea e rātou te mea kia kapi tetahi i te aro. Ka taea e tō hoa te noho hei kare-a-roto tawhiti Nā tēnei, me noho tahi rātou, me noho tonu ki te aroaro o tētahi ki tētahi. Tērā pea ka whakatau rātou ki te tuku i te whanaungatanga kia whai wāhi ai rātou ki te manawa.
Mō ētahi atu ataata tohunga, ohauru mai ki tā mātou Hongere Youtube. Pāwhiri ki konei.
Ako ki te Tuku i tō Piripiri
Nā te mea kua mōhio koe kotahi anake te whakautu ki te pātai "He kino te piripono i roto i te whanaungatanga", me ako hoki koe ki te whakamātau me te tuku i aua āwangawanga. "Kua tangohia e ētahi te Instagram me te Facebook i ā rātou waea, nā te mea kāore e taea e rātou te mutu te whai i ā rātou hoa me te waea atu ki a rātou i te 60 ngā wā i te rā. I ētahi wā, me whakapiri atu hoki mātou i tētahi mea ki ā rātou waea hei aukati i a rātou ki te waea atu ki tā rātou hoa," te kī a Gopa, e kī ana i te uaua o te whakahaere i ngā mahi ohorere e hokihoki ana te hunga piripono ki te mahi.
"Ka taea hoki e koe te kī atu ki te hoa kia whakatakotohia he rohe mārama, me te kī atu kia kaua e whakautu i te waea mēnā kua tino kaha rawa. I ētahi wā kua whakatauhia e mātou e rua noa ngā waea ka whakaaetia e te hoa, ā, kāore e aro atu ki te whanonga piripono," tāna tāpiri.
E kōrero mai ana a Gopa ki a tātou ētahi atu huarahi hei whakatau i te piripono mai i te pūtake. "Ko te haere tonu o te tohutohu tētahi huarahi hei mahi i tēnei, me te mahi ki te whakatika i ō rātou take whakaaro nui ki a rātou anō me te mahi ki te whakatau i te uara o tēnei tangata ki a rātou anō. Ko te aro atu ki te pūtake matua, arā, te whanaungatanga matua ki tōna whānau, he maha ngā wā ka nui te painga mō te tangata e kore e māia."
"Ahakoa te whanaungatanga tuatahi i puta ai ngā āwangawanga, ki te taea te whakaora me te mahi i taua whanaungatanga, ka taea te whakapai ake i ngā mea. I te mutunga, ko te mutunga iho kei te hiahia o te tangata," tana whakatau.
Ko te whanaungatanga e ahu mai ana i te whakawhirinaki, te aroha me te whakaute tetahi ki tetahi. He rerekē rawa ngā whakaaro pōuri me te kore whakaaro pōuri. Mā tēnei ka taea te hanga i te whanaungatanga hei kararehe kino, hei kararehe pouri. Nō reira, whakaae mai he raruraru tō whanonga hiahia me te piripono, kōrero pono ki tō hoa, tikina te āwhina e hiahiatia ana e koe hei tuku i tēnei taumahatanga o mua.
Mena kei te raru koe i te koretake o te whakaaro, kua kitea rānei koe he hoa piripono, kei a Bonobology tētahi he tini o ngā kaiwhakaora hinengaro whai wheako e hiahia ana ki te āwhina i a koe i tēnei wā uaua o tō koiora, tae atu ki a Gopa Khan tonu.
FAQs
He maha ngā wā ka hae, ka māharahara, ka whakahihi hoki te hoa tāne piripono. I te nuinga o te wā, kāore te hoa piripono e tuku i te nui o te wāhi whaiaro, ā, ka raru pea tō kōrua whanaungatanga. Tērā pea kāore te hoa tāne piripono e āwhina i te tipu o tō kōrua whanaungatanga ki te huarahi e tika ana.
Ko te huarahi pai ki te mōhio mēnā kei te hiahia nui koe ko te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ki tō hoa. Nā te mea ko rātou te tangata pai rawa atu hei kī atu ki a koe mēnā kei te hiahia nui koe, ko te mea tuatahi me mahi e koe ko te pātai atu ki a rātou.
Ko te whakawhirinaki kare ā-roto, te hae tonu, te māharahara rānei, te hiahia nui rawa, me te hiahia tonu ki te whakamana me te whakamarie, he tohu ēnei o te piripono kare ā-roto.
Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
Ki ahau nei, he tohu kino ēnei katoa mō tētahi whanaungatanga, arā, kua mutu, kua tae rānei te wā hei whakaora.
Kaua rawa te āwangawanga e ngokingoki mai. He paitini.