He mea nui rawa te aroha i roto i te marena?

I mea te kairīpoata Amerikana a Mignon McLaughlin, "Ko te marena angitu me aroha i ngā wā maha, me te tangata kotahi tonu." I ēnei rā, e whakapono ana mātou ko te aroha aroha te tūāpapa hei whakatakoto mā te tokorua i ngā mahere mō te oranga tahi. Mena he aroha kei roto i te marena, ka tau katoa ngā mea ki tōna tūranga tika. Engari kāore i pērā te ngāwari o ngā mea mō ō tātou tūpuna. 

Ahakoa te noho o te marena hei wāhanga matua o te oranga i roto i te nuinga o ngā ahurea o te ao i roto i te hītori kua tuhia, kāore tetahi o aua ahurea, tae noa ki ēnei wā tata nei, i marena te tangata mō te aroha… Ina koa ko te aroha aroha. Mō ngā mano tau, i pai te marena, ehara i te mea nā te aroha engari ahakoa tērā. Kua kiia tonutia te aroha he take kore rawa, he ngoikore hoki hei take mō te marena. 

Mā te titiro whakamuri ki tā tātou haerenga ka mōhio tātou ki te tawhiti kua tae mai nei tātou. Kua rerekē nui tā tātou tirohanga ki te aroha i ngā rautau e rua kua pahure ake nei. Kia hikoi tātou i ngā ara o te hītori, kia whakautua ai tētahi pātai tino nui – He mea nui rawa te aroha i roto i te marena?

Te Aroha me te Marena – He Akoranga Hītori

"I te tau 1800, he mea whakakatakata te whakaaro o te marena mō te aroha," te kī a Eli Finkel, te kaituhi matua o te rangahau mō te marena me te ahorangi hinengaro i Te Whare Wānanga o Northwestern. "Ehara i te mea kāore te iwi i hiahia ki te aroha mai i tā rātou marena; ehara i te mea koinei te kaupapa o te marena." He mea hiahia kia whanake te aroha, te aroha rānei, i muri i te marena o te tokorua. 

Ehara i te aroha te mea nui i whakaarohia e te tangata i te wā e whakatau ana i te wā me te tangata hei marena. Ko ngā whakaaro mahi i ngā wā katoa i nui ake i ngā whakaaro kare ā-roto i te wā e whakatau ana. Ki te kī noa, ehara te hoa rangatira i te tangata matua e hanga tahi ana te tokorua. he hononga kare ā-rotoEngari, mēnā kāore he aroha i roto i te marena, me pēhea te whakatipu i ngā whanaungatanga piripono, whai tikanga hoki?

He Whakarāpopototanga Poto: Ngā Pūrākau o te Aroha me te Marena

I whakakīia e te wahine marena, e te wahine iti rānei te tūranga o te hoa aroha me te hoa moepuku. Anei tētahi mea whakamere: i ngā rautau 12 me te 13, i whakaarohia e te hunga rangatira o Ūropi te moepuku i waho o te marena hei momo aroha tino teitei, kāore i poke i ngā āhuatanga uaua o te oranga o ia rā. I ngā wā e noho ana te aroha, kāore e taea! Ko te hoa o te tangata (i waho o te marena) he mawhiti mai i ngā mahi o ia rā me ngā raruraru.

I Īnia onamata, ko te aroha i mua i te marena i kiia he mahi whakararuraru, he mahi whakahē i te hapori. He whakaritenga te marena, he hononga, he hononga kāore e taea te whakawhirinaki ki te aroha. Ā, kāore tēnei whakapono i herea noa ki te whenua iti o Īnia. I roto i ētahi reo Hainamana, kāore te kupu mō te aroha i te tikanga tuku iho e pā ana ki ngā kare ā-roto i waenganui i te tāne me te wahine: i whakamahia hei whakaahua i tētahi whanaungatanga turekore, kāore i whakaaetia e te hapori. 

I whakaaro ngā Kariki o mua me ngā Pākehā o ngā tau waenga he momo porangi te mate aroha; he mea tino whakarihariha te aroha nui rawa ki te hoa rangatira. I whakaae whānuitia ō tātou tūpuna ki te rerekētanga o te aroha me te marena. Engari he pātai nui tēnei. He aha te raruraru o ngā marena aroha? 

Te pānui e pā ana: 7 Ngā Painga o te Marena Aroha ki te Marena Whakarite

Engari he aha te raru o te aroha ki tō hoa rangatira?

I mua, i whakaarohia whānuitia te aroha me te marena he mea rerekē tetahi ki tetahi mō ngā take mahi katoa. Ki te kī māmā noa iho, kāore he aroha i roto i te marena i te mea haumaru ake. Koinei te take i whakaaro ai ō tātou tūpuna he whakatau kino te aroha i roto i te marena…

Take me ngā Kare ā-roto

I hiahiatia he mārie o te hinengaro i runga i ngā pakihiwi e rua e mahi tahi ana i roto i te kotahitanga o te marena. I hiahiatia he whakahaere me te urutau ki tētahi atu huinga kaupapa me ngā kaupapa matua, i ia rā, i ia rā, i ia tau i roto i te mahi nui. I tohaina e ngā hoa rangatira ō rātou ake, i ngā mea rānei i waenganui i a rātou i roto i te āhua iti o te hiranga. 

I tētahi atu taha, ko te aroha nui e hiahia ana kia kaha te whai wāhi atu o ngā kare ā-roto, me te tono kia whakatairangahia e te tokorua tetahi ki tetahi. Ā, nā tōna āhua tonu, he tupuhi kare ā-roto te aroha, he tere, ā, ka memeha haere i te mutunga. Ina memeha te kanapa o te aroha, ka aha te tokorua? 

Nā te mea e mōhio ana tātou, tae noa ki tēnei rā, kāore te aroha e ranea mō te marena harikoa. He maha atu anō ngā mea ngā āhuatanga e angitu ai te marenaHe rite tonu te hiranga o te whakaute, te tautoko, te whakawhirinaki, te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, me te whakaae tahi (ki te kore he nui ake). Ko te whakatō i te aroha ki roto i te marena i whakatuma i te pakari o te whare. Ko te kahakina e ngā hiahia o te ngākau he mea tino kore e whakaaetia.

Te Pūmautanga vs te Tūponotanga – He aha i kore ai e tika te marena aroha

Ko te tino māramatanga me te haumaru i hiahiatia e te marena he rerekē ki te mea ngaro me te mōrearea i tupu ai te aroha aroha. I te wā i hiahiatia ai e te marena te arorau, te whakaaro nui me te whakaritenga, te aroha aroha me te ngākau nui i noho i runga i te pōrearea, te tūkino, me te pōrearea. Ko te marena e hiahia ana ki te whakapau kaha me ngā herenga; ko te aroha nui e whakaaro ana ki ngā mea katoa kāore i puta mai i roto i tōna ake pokapū he mea kāore e tika kia mau tonu. 

Ahakoa i hiahia te marena ki te haumaru me te pumau, i hiahia te aroha nui ki te tūpono me te ora kei te taha. Ko te tūponotanga te kaha o te hihiri. Nō reira, i rite te 'aroha aroha ki te marena' ki te mea kāore e taea. Tae noa ki te rautau 18, i tuhituhi te tohunga whakaaro Wīwī a Montaigne, "Ko te tangata e aroha ana ki tana wahine he tangata tino mangere, kāore he tangata kē atu e aroha ki a ia." 

I whakahuahia anō hoki e te Kaute o Champagne te whakaaro kotahi i tana tuhituhi, "Kāore e taea e te aroha te whakamahi i tōna mana i waenga i te tokorua kua marenatia tetahi ki tetahi." He tino rerekē te āhua o ēnei whakapono ki a tātou e whakanoho nei i te aroha ki runga i te turanga. Kua tae ki te wā ki te hoki mai ki nāianei me te mārama he aha tātou kāore ai e whakaaro he mea taupatupatu te aroha me te marena. He aha te take e tika ai te aroha mō te marena ki a tātou?

Te pānui e pā ana: 6 Ngā Mea e Whakarāpopoto ana i te Kaupapa o te Marena

He aha tātou i whakanui ai i te aroha i roto i te marena i ēnei rā?

Me i kite ō tātou tūpuna i te āhua o tā tātou whakahaere i ā tātou whanaungatanga, ka tino miharo rātou. Kua tino wetekina e tātou te wehewehenga o te aroha me te marena. I ēnei rā, he mea nui te aroha i roto i te marena e manaakitia ana. E mōhio ana tātou he nui atu ngā āhuatanga o te aroha i tua atu i ngā tohu aroha; he mea hono hohonu ki te ngā kaupapa matua o te whakapau kaha i roto i te marena.

Kāore e taea te wehewehe i ngā mea ki ngā wāhanga ā-wai i roto i te whanaungatanga. He ture māmā noa iho tēnei – ka pāngia ngā mea katoa e ngā mea katoa. Hei whakamārama ake i tēnei, kua whakarārangihia e mātou ētahi take e whakamārama ana i te uara o te aroha. Ka whakautua e ēnei take te pātai, "He aha te take e hiahiatia ai te aroha mō te marena?"

1. Mauruuru 

He whakaaturanga ataahua o te whakawhetai te aroha. He tohu e mea ana, "E mihi ana ahau ki ngā mea katoa e mahia ana e koe māku. Koinei taku huarahi ki te whakaatu i te hiranga o koe i roto i tōku ao." Ahakoa ngā nekehanga aroha onge He rite tonu ki te whakarite parakuihi he mea nui hei whakamanawa i te aroha o te hoa. Ko te whakawhetai te tūāpapa o te whanaungatanga harikoa.

2. Te Whai Wāhi 

Ina honoa te aroha me te marena, ka tau te hononga o ngā hoa. He pai te whakapau kaha e hiahiatia ana e te aroha mō te marena. Ka ako tonu koe i ngā mea hou mō tō hoa rangatira, ā, ka mau tonu te whanaungatanga. Koinei tonu te take e mahi ai mātou ki te "pupuri i te mura" i roto i ngā hononga roa.

3. Whakapono 

Ka hangaia te whakawhirinaki mā te aroha i roto i te marena. Mā ngā tohu aroha ka noho haumaru te hoa i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ka mahi rātou hei punga, hei whakakaha i te hononga i waenganui i te tokorua. E mōhio ana tātou ki ngā mea kāore i mahia e ō tātou tūpuna – he pānga nui aua mea iti ki te whanaungatanga o te tokorua.

Te pānui e pā ana: 6 Ngā Mea e Whakarāpopoto ana i te Kaupapa o te Marena

4. Te Panui 

Mā te aroha o te hunga marena ka pai ake te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero. Ina ki tonu ngā kōrero i te aroha me te atawhai, ka māmā ake te murunga hara. Ina tautohetohe te tokorua, ka whai rāua kia pai ake te haere. te whakatau pakanga rangimārie, ehara i te karanga taupatupatu, i te pakū rānei o te riri. Kāore i te maha ngā wā ka puta he pakanga whakapehapeha ina he aroha kei roto i te marena.

E mārama ana koe he aha i tino rerekē ai te tirohanga a te tangata ki te marena? Ki te kore he aroha i roto i te marena, kāore he whakawhetai, he whakawhirinaki, he whai wāhi, he whakawhitiwhiti kōrero rānei. I whai hua ngā tikanga tawhito mō ō tātou tūpuna engari kāore e tino hototahi ki ngā ao o nāianei o te whakaipoipo me te marena. 

FAQs

Thoughts Final

Ehara i te mea ko ngā tina rama anake, ko ngā mahi whakanui rānei te kaupapa o te aroha i roto i te marena—engari ko te pupuri i te mura o te kare ā-roto kia ora tonu. Ka whakapakari i te hononga, ka whakarei ake i te whanaungatanga piripono, ā, ka tāpiri i te harikoa ki te whanaungatanga. Ahakoa i ētahi wā ka taupokina te aroha e ngā kawenga o te ao, ka taea e te whakanoho i tēnei hei kaupapa matua te whakaoho anō i te ngākau nui, ka whakatata ake hoki i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine. Kei konei ā mātou kaitohutohu whanaungatanga hei ārahi i a koe ki te hono anō ki tō hoa, me te kimi anō i te harikoa o te aroha.

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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