Kua tae ki te 3 karaka i te ata, ā, kei reira koe, e whakaaroaro nui ana mō tō whanaungatanga katoa. Ka pātai koe ki a koe anō, "He pai ahau i te moenga? Kei te aro atu taku hoa ki ahau i ēnei rā? He mea noa te kore e aro atu ki tō hoa?" Ko ēnei pātai katoa, nā te hekenga pea o te kounga o te taatai i roto i tō whanaungatanga, ka akiaki i a koe ki te rapu huarahi hei hoa aroha pai ake.
Heoi, he tika tō whakaaro nui rawa. Heoi anō, he mea tino nui te whanaungatanga ā-ira tangata mō te angitu o te whanaungatanga. E ai ki ngā kōrero rangahau, ko tētahi o ngā tino take e wehe atu ai ngā tāne me ngā wāhine i te aroha aroha ko te ngaronga o te whanaungatanga piripono. Ā, kāore koe e hiahia kia noho ko taua tāne me wāhine. Ko te mea kei konei koe, e ngana ana ki te kimi i te whakautu ki te pātai "me pēhea te noho hei hoa aroha pai ake ki taku tāne, ki taku wahine, ki taku hoa rangatira rānei" e whakaatu ana kei te aro nui koe ki te hauora o tō whanaungatanga, ā, kāore koe i heke i te ara pahekeheke o te ngākau māhaki. Āe, ngā mihi nui ki a koe!
Mō te pupuri i te mura o te hiahia, kaua e manukanuka, kei konei mātou hei tautoko i a koe. Kei konei mātou hei āwhina i a koe i roto i tō ngana ki te whakapai ake i tō pūkenga moepuku, me te rapu huarahi hei hoa aroha pai ake i runga i te moenga, me te tautoko mai i ngā mātauranga a ngā tohunga moepuku. Tākuta Rajan Bhonsle (MD, MBBS Medicine and Surgery), he kaiwhakaora moepuku whai tiwhikete mō ngā tau neke atu i te toru tekau.
Me pēhea te noho hei hoa aroha pai ake - 11 Tohutohu Ngaio na te Kaiwhakaora Ira Tangata
Ripanga o Ihirangi
E mea ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "He rerekē ngā tohutohu mō te noho hei hoa aroha pai i ia wā, i ia wā, ā, kāore e taea te whakawhanui. Hei tauira, ko aku tohutohu mō tētahi tokorua e pāngia ana e kāore he moepuku i roto i te marena "e kore e tika mō te hunga e whakahē ana mō te taatai-ā-waha i roto i te whanaungatanga." Nō reira, i runga i tō wāhi, tuhia ngā tohutohu āwhina e tika ana mōu:
1. Whakamahia ngā tikanga whakawhitiwhiti kōrero e 3
Me pēhea te whakamanawareka i te tāne i te moenga, me pēhea rānei te whakamanawareka i te wahine i te moenga – ahakoa tō raruraru, kia mōhio koe ko te tukanga hanga whanaungatanga ka tīmata i waho o te whare moenga. Kāore e taea te tupu te taatai i roto i te marena, i te whanaungatanga rānei, ki te kore ngā hoa e hono tahi i ngā kare ā-roto. Mō tēnā, he mea nui kia mārama tetahi ki tetahi, kaua hoki e riri i te kitenga tuatahi o te kore whakamarie, e tawai rānei ki tō hoa mena kāore i te hoatu tonutia e ia te mea i tonoa e koe. Ka taea anake te whakahaere i ēnei mea katoa mā te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tuwhera, pono. E kōrero ana a Tākuta Bhonsle mō ngā C e 3 o ngā pūkenga whakawhitiwhiti kōrero:
- Whakaotia ō rerenga kōrero: Kia tino mārama ki tāu e hiahia ana i te moenga. Hei tauira, ko ētahi o aku kiritaki e kōrero ana mō te pai ki a rātou o ngā kihi French roa, mākū, ko ētahi e pai ake ana ki ngā umere ngawari. He aha ōu hiahia? Me ō hoa? Kōrerohia ēnei mea kia kitea ai te hononga ā-ira.
- Te whakapuakitanga mārama o ngā hiahia: Whakaaturia māramatia ō mahi arohaehae ā-tinana me ā-tinana hiahia aronganuiHe rerekē pea te tikanga o te kī "Hmmmm". Ehara tō hoa i te kaipānui hinengaro e taea ai te mōhio mā te waea mēnā kei te pouri koe, kei te ruarua rānei.
- Te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero manaaki: Me kitea tō manaaki me tō āwangawanga mō tō hoa rangatira i roto i te āhua o tō kōrero ki a rātou. Kaua e whakahē. Ina kī koe i tētahi mea pēnei i te, "Ka tere rawa tō orgasm", ka rite koe ki tētahi kaitirotiro e arotake ana i te mahi a te tangata kē i runga i te moenga, kaua ki tētahi hoa e whakapuaki ana, e pai ana ki te wheako me rātou.
2. Kimihia he ara waenga hei whakarite kia tutukihia ngā hiahia o ngā hoa e rua
Me pēhea te pai ake o te aroha ki taku wahine? Me pēhea taku whakapai ake i te moepuku mā taku tāne? Me pēhea māua ko taku hoa e whakanui ake ai i tō māua hiahia? – Ko te whakautu ki ēnei pātai katoa ko te whakarite kia whai whakaarohia, kia tutukihia hoki ngā hiahia o ngā hoa e rua i roto i ō kōrua wā piripono, inā koa ka tino rerekē ēnei hiahia.
He mea nui te awhi i muri i te moe tāne ki tētahi o kōrua, engari me wātea te wāhi mō tētahi? He pai ake ki tō hoa te moe i te ata, i te ahiahi rānei, ā, he pai ake ki a koe i te pō? Ā, me pēhea ō hiahia mō te takaro i mua i te moe? Ko te kōrero mō ēnei āhuatanga me te kimi i tētahi huarahi waenga mō ngā āhuatanga rerekē o ō hiahia te mea nui. "Kāore tētahi o aku kiritaki i pai ki te awhi i muri i te moe tāne nā te mea he moe māmā ia, engari i hiahia tana wahine ki te awhi. Nā tēnei koretake o ō rāua hiahia i puta ai te pouri ki a rāua. I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ka tohutohu ahau ki ngā hoa kia tūtaki ki a rāua i waenganui, hei tauira, te awhi mō te 15 meneti i muri i te moe tāne, i ngā wiki mutunga rānei".
"Waihoki, he rerekē ngā whakaaro o ētahi tāne me ētahi wāhine mō te wā e moe ai. Tērā pea ka nui ake te hihiri o te tāne i ngā ata, engari ko te wahine pea ka pai ake te moe tahi i te pō. Ina aroha koe ki tētahi, ka tuwhera tō hinengaro, ka whakaae ki te whiriwhiri i aua mea. Kāore koe e kino ki ā rātou whanonga rerekē, engari koinā ngā āhuatanga e pai ana koe, ā, koinei te mea e motuhake ai tō hoa," te kī a Tākuta Bhonsle.
Te pānui e pā ana: He aha ngā tāne ka wehe atu ai i a rātou anō i muri i te whanaungatanga piripono?
3. Whakatūria ngā mea kāore e taea te whiriwhiri
Me pēhea te noho hei hoa aroha pai? Kimihia ngā mea e pai ana ki tō hoa, me ngā mea e kore e pai ki a ia i runga i te moenga. He mea tino nui te aro ki ngā mea iti. E whakamārama ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "I tata te whakarere i tētahi tokorua i tohutohuhia e au nā te mea kāore rāua i whakatū i ngā rohe moepuku i roto i tō rāua whanaungatanga ahakoa kua toru tau rāua e noho tahi ana i mua i te marena. I tono whakarere te wahine nā te mea i hiahia tana tāne ki te whakamātau i te moepuku ā-ira, ā, i kitea e ia he mea whakarihariha."
"Ahakoa he ngāwari ngā rohe o te tangata ina tae ki te kihi, ki te mahi tahi rānei, mā te akiaki i tētahi ki te whakamātau i ngā mahi moepuku kāore rātou e pai ki te mahi ka hoki kino mai. Ko te mea nui ki te kimi me pēhea te whakamanawa i te wahine i te moenga – i te tāne rānei – ko te whakarite i ngā mea e whakaaetia ana, me ngā mea kāore e whakaaetia. Kia mahara, ko te te tūranga o te whakaae "Kāore e taea te wareware, ahakoa te taumata o te whanaungatanga kei roto koe."
4. Whakamahia te reo "au" hei utu mō te reo "koe"
He nui ngā kōrero a Tākuta Bhonsle mō te reo "ahau" i roto i ngā whanaungatanga piripono. E whakanui ana ia me kī te tangata, "E hiahia ana ahau kia awhi koe i muri i te moe", kaua e kī, "Ka oma tonu koe i muri i te moe". Waihoki, kaua e kī, "Me pēhea e taea ai e koe te pārekareka ki te moe ā-waha? He tino whakarihariha!", me kī atu, "Kāore au i te pai/pai ki te moe ā-waha".
Hei tāna anō, "Mēnā he reo whakapae, he reo whakaiti rānei, ka taea e te tangata te whakaaro kua whakakahoretia, ā, ka ārai i a rātou. Ahakoa kei a koe te tika ki te whakapuaki i ō hiahia me te whakapuaki i ō mea e pai ana ki a koe me ō mea e kore e pai ki a koe ki tō hoa, me tupato koe i roto i tāu whiriwhiri kupu. Tērā pea ka kīia kāo ki te taatai ētahi mahi moepuku rānei, me te kore e whara i ngā kare ā-roto o tō hoa.”
5. Ehara te orgasm i te whāinga whakamutunga
Mō te tangata aroha i roto i a koe tēnei – kāore te moepuku e arahi tonu ki te orgasm. E mea ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "Ki te hiahia koe kia pai ake te aroha, me mārama koe ehara i te mea he mea whakahau te orgasm i roto i ngā mahi katoa. He maha ngā wā, ko ngā tāne me ngā Kāore e taea e ngā wāhine te whakatutuki i te orgasm i te wā moe tāne, engari ka āwhina i a rātou anō ki te whakatutuki i te O nui i muri mai. I ētahi wā, kotahi anake te hoa ka eke ki te orgasm i te wā moe tāne, ā, ka whakaoho i tētahi atu kia eke ki taua orgasm.
Ko te huarahi pai rawa atu hei whakapai ake i te kounga o te taatai i roto i te marena, i te whanaungatanga rānei, ko te pupuri i ngā mea kia rere tonu, kia hihiri hoki, me te mahi i te mea e pai ana mōu me tō hoa. Kia maumahara, kāore he huarahi tika, he huarahi hē rānei i konei; ko te mea e hari ai koe me tō hoa, koinei te huarahi tika.
Te pānui e pā ana: 18 Ngā Mea e Tautokona ana e te Pūtaiao hei Whakaoho i ngā Wahine
6. Kaua e whakaititia te mana o ngā whakaaturanga aroha
E ai ki tā mātou i kōrero ai i mua, ko te haerenga ki te rapu huarahi hei hoa aroha pai ake i te moenga ka tīmata i waho o te whare moenga. Mena kei te raru koe i te kore moepuku i roto i te marena, i te whanaungatanga rānei, ahakoa kei te hiahia koe ki te whakapai ake i te kounga o te moepuku, me whakapakari ake koe i tō hononga ki tō hoa rangatira.
Ko tētahi huarahi tino tika hei mahi i tēnā ko te whakatipu te whanaungatanga ā-tinana i roto i te whanaungatangaE kī ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "He mea tino nui ngā whakaaturanga aroha kore-ira pērā i te pupuri ringa, te awhi, te awhi, me te kihi hei whakanui ake i te hononga me te here o ngā hoa tokorua tetahi ki tetahi." Nō reira, ngana kia arohaina tō hoa i waho o te rūma moe mēnā kei te hiahia koe ki te whakanui ake i te wera i roto.
7. Whakaroa, kia pai hoki tō hoa
E pā ana tēnei ki ngā mahi takaro i mua i te moe tāne me te wahine. He maha ngā wā ka tino kaha te tangata ki te werawera o te wā, ā, kāore e whai wā ki te pārekareka ki te wheako o te noho piripono ki ā rātou hoa. Ko te whakarerekē i tēnā he taahiraa tuatahi ki te noho hei hoa aroha pai ake ki tō hoa aroha.
Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe "me pēhea te noho hei hoa aroha pai ake mā taku wahine/hoa wahine" me "me pēhea te whakapai ake i te moe tāne/hoa tāne", he wāhi pai tēnei hei tīmatanga. Whakapaua he wā nui ki te tūhura i ngā tinana o tētahi ki tētahi, me te whai wāhi ki ngā mahi takaro i mua i te moe i ngā wā katoa e taea ana. Ki te mea kua mahi kē koe i tēnā, ngana ki te whakaroa me te pārekareka ki ia wā. Tirohia ngā kanohi o tō hoa, ā, tino kia pai te mahi arohaKo te mea ngaro ko te whakau i a koe ki te wā o nāianei, me te tino mimiti i te wheako.
Te pānui e pā ana: Ngā Wāhanga e Rima o te Whakawhanaungatanga – Kimihia Kei hea Koe!
8. Whakamātauria ngā tūranga hou, rerekē hoki i runga i te moenga
He tika tā te katoa ki te tūhura, ki te whakapuaki, ki te whakamātautau i ngā mea e whakaohooho ana, e whakahihiri ana, e makona ai rātou. He mea nui tēnei mō te hanga whanaungatanga whai hua. Ehara i te mea ko ngā tūranga e pai ana ki a koe anake, engari ko ngā mea hoki e hiahia ana koe ki te whakamātautau. Kaua e whakawhāiti i a koe anō, i runga i ngā wheako o mua, ā, kia tuwhera ki ngā mea hou. Whakawhirinaki mai ki a mātou, ko te whakapono ki a koe anō te mea nui.
Ka nui ake te hiranga o te tūhura i ngā tūranga hou mēnā kei te pāngia koe, tō hoa rānei e ētahi raruraru hauora. Hei tauira, mēnā kei te pāngia tō hoa tāne e te ngoikore o te ure, e te manukanuka rānei mō te mahi moepuku, ko te wātea ki te whakamātautau i roto i te moenga te otinga pea māu ki te rapu huarahi hei whakamanawareka i te tāne i roto i te moenga. Tērā pea ētahi tūranga hei āwhina i a rātou kia pai ake te mahi. Waihoki, He pai ake te noho o ngā tāne i runga i te moenga mā te whakamātau i ngā tūranga e pai ake ai mō ō rātou hoa.
9. Tūhurahia ō rohe whakahihiko me tō hoa
He ranunga whakamere o ngā rohe whakahihiri kei roto i te tinana tangata, ā, ka rerekē ēnei i ia tangata, i ia tangata. Ko te tūhura i ngā rohe whakahihiri o tētahi ki tētahi, me te whakapau wā ki te whakamahi i aua rohe he huarahi tino pai ki te kawe i tō hononga moepuku ki te taumata e whai ake nei. Mai i kihi kaki ki te ngau a te taringa, mai i ngā huha ki ngā mātao me te tuara o ngā turi, mai i te ngote ki ngā ngau ngawari – he nui te wāhi hei whakamātautau i konei.
Ki te hiahia koe ki te ako me pēhea te noho hei hoa aroha pai ake i roto i te rūma moe, tīmata mā te tūhura i ngā rohe hiahia o tētahi ki tētahi i roto i ngā huarahi rerekē. Mā tēnei tūhuratanga ngāwari o te tinana o tētahi ki tētahi, ka taea e koe te whakanui ake i te kaha o ngā taunekeneke moepuku.
10. Whakaohokia rātou ki ngā huānga hou
Ehara i te takaro noa iho me te taatai te whanaungatanga piripono i roto i te rūma moe, ā, kāore e taea e koe te whakaoti i te ako me pēhea te noho hei hoa aroha pai ake ki te kore koe e mahi i ngā āhuatanga nui e whakatakoto ana i te reo mō te hiahia me te te ngākau nui i roto i te whare moengaMena kei te whakaaro koe "me pēhea te noho hei hoa aroha pai ake ki taku tāne" me "me pēhea te whakaoho i taku wahine ki te wairua", kātahi ka puta mai ēnei tohutohu mai i te kaiako whanaungatanga me te whanaungatanga piripono Shivanya Yogmayaa tera pea ka āwhina i a koe:
- Kākahuria, hongihia he kakara ātaahua, ka whakaipoipo anō tetahi ki tetahi hei tauhou
- Kaukau tahi, kaukau mirumiru rānei
- Taupokina ngā kanohi, ka wetekina ngā kākahu o tetahi ki tetahi
- Whakakatakata i tō hoa ki te kanikani taratara
Te pānui e pā ana: He ngoikore taku tāne, ā, kei te moe tahi māua me tētahi atu tangata.
11. Kia pārekareka ki ia wāhanga o te whanaungatanga piripono i roto i te whare moenga
I mua i te tīmatanga o te mahi, me tino hono atu tetahi ki tetahi. Te whakamātautau ki ngā pā kore-ira He mea whakangāwari te mirimiri tinana o tētahi ki tētahi, ā, ka āwhina i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kia hono anō ō rāua hononga, kaua ko te moe noa iho. Whakatangihia he waiata whakangahau, me te tahu rama i a kōrua e atawhai ana i a kōrua. Nā, kua pai ki a kōrua te kaukau, te mirimiri tinana, te kanikani kakahu, te whakatoi, te takaro i mua i te moe, me te moe whakamiharo, kia pai hoki te wāhanga e whai ake nei.
Kia oti te mahi, kaua e whakaaro tonu ki te whakakakahu, ki te moe rānei. Engari, whakapaua he wā ki te awhi. Ko ngā wā i muri i te moe ko ngā wā tino pono, tino ngoikore hoki. Whakapaua aua wā ki te takoto i roto i ngā ringa o tō hoa, me te mirimiri noa i ōna makawe, i tōna tinana rānei, me te kōrero ki a ia. Ki te kore koe e pai ki te kōrero, whakapaua aua wā ki te wā puku, engari kia tino pārekareka ki a koe taua wā tahi.
Tohutohu Matua
- Hei hoa aroha pai ake māu, me mārama koe ki a rātou me ā rātou hiahia – arā, ngā kare ā-roto me ngā hiahia ā-ira tangata.
- Whakamāramahia ngā mea kāore e taea te whiriwhiri, ā, whakatakotoria ngā rohe moepuku i te tīmatanga.
- Whakamahia te kupu "ahau" hei whakapuaki i ō hiahia ki tō hoa
- Kaua e aro nui ki ngā ariā tawhito mō te āhua o te taatai pai; ko te mea e pai ana mōu me tō hoa, koinā te huarahi tika.
- Whakatairangahia ngā whakaaturanga aroha kore-ira hei whakapakari i tō hononga
- Me miharo tonu tō hoa ki ngā mea hou, me te tūhura i ngā tinana o tētahi ki tētahi kia mau tonu ai te hihiri.
Me whai whakaaro māmā pea tātou, me ētahi kupu tohutohu tawhito mai i Me pehea te noho hei hoa aroha, he pukapuka nā te whare pukapuka Bodleian i whakatika, "Kaua e ngana ki te kihi i runga i te waka mena kāore kōrua e mōhio ki te kauhoe, kaua hoki e kihi i tō hoa aroha me te mau tonu tō pōtae i tō mahunga." Haunga ngā katakata, mena kāore koe e ngaro i tō hiahia ki tō hoa, ka kitea e koe he huarahi hou ake hei hono atu ki a rāua.
Kua whakahoutia tēnei tuhinga i te Oketopa, 2022
5 Ngā Take e Ngaro ai te Hononga o ngā Tāne me ngā Wahine, me pēhea te Ārai i tēnā
20 Ngā Pātai Hei Pātai Ki Tō Hoa Hei Hanga I Te Hononga Ā-Whare
Ngā Mahere Aroha: Me pēhea te āwhina ki te hanga hononga kaha
Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
