"Valani Jamie Oliver! Ndimamukonda!" mukhoza kunena. Koma inu simutero kukonda kumukonda eti? Pali mitundu yonse ya chikondi yomwe timamva ndipo zingakudabwitseni kudziwa mitundu ingati ya chikondi yomwe mudamva m'moyo wanu. Pali galu wa mnzako, yemwe umamukondadi. Pali banja, abwenzi ndiyeno, ndithudi, mnzanuyo.
Kungonena kuti 'mumawakonda' onsewo sikungakhale zolondola kapena zachilungamo kwa onsewo. Pali mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya chikondi yomwe mumakumana nayo kwa aliyense, ndipo mtundu uliwonse wa chikondi umabwera ndi njira zapadera zowonetsera. Pamene mukuyesera kupanga ndi mnzanu, simungawadabwe ndi bedi ndi mapepala a satin, odzaza ndi maluwa a duwa pa izo, sichoncho? Izo zingakhale zodabwitsa basi.
Ndiye kodi chikondi chimenechi chimasiyana bwanji ndipo mungatani kuti muzitha kuzifotokoza bwino? Kuti mumvetse mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya chikondi, ndi kuzindikira kuchokera Shazia Saleem (Masters in Psychology), yemwe amagwira ntchito yopatukana ndi upangiri wosudzulana. Chifukwa chake, popanda kupitilira apo, tiyeni tilowe mkati.
Kodi Mitundu Yachikondi Ndi Chiyani?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Kutengera maubwenzi osiyanasiyana omwe muli nawo ndi anthu komanso zinthu zosiyanasiyana zomwe mumamva kwa iwo, mwachibadwa mudzakhala ndi mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya chikondi mwa inu kwa iwo. Mukufuna kuphwanya nkhope ya galuyo ndikumuweta tsiku lonse, koma si momwe mungasonyezere chikondi kwa amayi anu. (Kapena tikukhulupirira. Chonde musawachitire zimenezo amayi anu.)
Chikondi pachokha ndizovuta kwambiri, kuyambira pomwe. Baibulo limati: “Chikondi sichitha nthaŵi zonse” koma chimaoneka ngati wachibale wanu waiŵala bwino tsiku lanu lobadwa. Zimenezi zikachitika, chikondi ndi chinthu chomaliza m’maganizo mwanu. Koma kodi kusunga chakukhosi n’chimene muyenera kuchita m’mikhalidwe imeneyi? Kapena muyenera khululukirani mnzanu mwamsanga? Kodi chikondi chimagwira ntchito bwanji ndipo muyenera kuchita chiyani kuti mudyetse?
Mwamwayi, Agiriki akale anaphunzira mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya chikondi kuti tithe kuimvetsa bwino. Tithokoze mulungu chifukwa cha Agiriki chifukwa mukakhumudwitsa bwenzi lanu ndipo simudziwa chifukwa chake, kumvetsetsa chikondi m'mitundu yonse kungakuthandizeni kukuwonetsani zomwe muyenera kuchita kenako. Kodi mumadziwa kuti si mitundu yonse ya chikondi yomwe ili ndi thanzi ndipo pali ina yomwe muyenera kuipewa? Pano, tikulemba mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya maubwenzi achikondi omwe mudzakhala nawo m'moyo wanu.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Mitundu 8 Yaubwenzi Paubwenzi
1. Eros - chikondi chomwe timachitcha chikondi
Pali mitundu yonse ya chikondi padziko lapansi pano ndipo Eros ndi amene amafotokoza za chikondi chomwe timaganizira tikamva mawu. "Ndili mchikondi!" angatanthauze chinthu chimodzi, sichoncho? Kuti mwapeza munthu amene mumamukonda, muli naye pachibwenzi ndi kugonana. Chabwino, ndicho chikondi cha Eros kwa inu, chotchedwa mulungu wachi Greek wa chikondi ndi chonde.
Koma chodabwitsa, Agiriki amawopa chikondi chamtunduwu (funsani aliyense amene sindingathe kuthetsa kusweka koyipa ndipo adzanena zomwezo). Agiriki ankaganiza kuti chikondi chamtunduwu chimabweretsa kutaya mphamvu chifukwa cha chibadwa chathu choyambirira chopanga moyo watsopano. Ndi njira yoyipa yowonera chikondi chomwe muli nacho kwa bwenzi lanu, titha kunena.
Kodi chikondi cha "Eros" chikutanthauza chiyani kwa inu?
Chotchedwa "chikondi chachikondi", ndi zomwe mumamva mukamapsompsona, kukumbatirana kapena kukhudza wokondedwa wanu. Chikondi chimenechi chimayenda bwino pakugwirana mwakuthupi, momwe mungasiyire kalikonse mutakhala ndi mwayi wopalasa ndi wokondedwa wanu.
Ngati mukuganiza momwe mungamve bwino / kufotokozera chikondi chamtunduwu, musayang'anenso zakuthupi za mnzanuyo. Auzeni kuti mumasilira maonekedwe awo ndikuwapangitsa kumva kuti ndi apadera. Mukukumbukira kumverera kofunda komwe kumakhala pachifuwa chanu pomwe mnzanu akukukumbatirani mwadzidzidzi? Ndizo ndendende zomwe tikuzikamba apa.
2. Storge - chikondi chodziwika bwino
Shazia limasonyeza kuti, “Ubwenzi uliwonse umene umayenda bwino chifukwa cha chikondi chokha n’chovuta kuti ukhalepo kwa nthaŵi yaitali. Chikondi chimangokhala kutengeka maganizo ndipo maganizo sakhazikika. Mutha kukonda munthu mopambanitsa lero ndipo mocheperapo pang’ono tsiku lotsatira. Koma chikondi chikakhala chozingidwa ndi kugwirizana, kukhulupirirana, ubale ndi ulemu, ubwenzi umakhala wolimba kwambiri. mosiyana ndi zimenezo.”
Storge ndi chikondi chimene mwachibadwa chimakhala pakati pa makolo ndi ana ndi achibale anu. Chikondi chamtunduwu chikhoza kukhalaponso pakati pa mabwenzi aubwana popeza palinso mtundu wina wodziwana nawo. Storge amabweretsa chisangalalo ndi kudalira anthu awa chifukwa mumawakhulupirira kuyambira kalekale ndipo tikudziwa. kukhulupirira kuli kofunika bwanji muubwenzi. Popeza mumakumbukira zakale kwambiri za achibale anu, mwachibadwa mumakulitsa chikondi kwa iwo.
Kodi chikondi cha “storge” chimatanthauza chiyani kwa inu?
Mtundu wa chikondi cha "storey" umawonekeradi panthawi ya "kukumbukira" pamene mukukambirana. Mwa mitundu yonse ya maubwenzi achikondi, uwu ndi womwe aliyense amakumana nawo ndikuukonda kwambiri. Kukumbukira zakale ndi okondedwa anu kumapangitsa madzulo kukhala osangalatsa, ndipo ndicho chilankhulo cha chikondi cha storge.
Ngati munayamba mwakumanapo ndi mnzanu waubwana kwinakwake, mudzakumbukira chimwemwe chimene chinakupangitsani inu. Tsiku lanu linapangidwa nthawi yomweyo, muuzanso anthu ochepa za izi. Kuchokera ku mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya chikondi, storge amakupangitsani kumva kukhala wotetezeka kwambiri.
3. Agape - chikondi chomwe chimaposa maubwenzi amodzi
Pali mitundu yonse ya chikondi padziko lapansi ndipo Agape ndi chikondi chapadziko lonse lapansi, chopanda dyera. Sizikhudzana ndi ubale wapayekha m'moyo wanu. Agape ndi chikondi chomwe mumakumana nacho ku zabwino zazikulu, a chikondi chopanda malire ku chikhulupiriro cha kugwirizana kwa chilengedwe chonse. Mwa mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya maubwenzi achikondi, iyi ndi yomwe mumagawana ndi chinthu chachikulu kuposa inuyo.
Mtundu wa chikondi umafotokozedwa bwino lomwe ndi mmene Akhristu amakhulupilira kuti Yesu Khristu anapereka moyo wake chifukwa cha machimo athu. Agape chikondi cholungama, chimene chimayamba chifukwa chofuna kuchitira ena zabwino, monga momwe mungafunire kuti iwo akuchitireni inu. Mukudziwa, monga momwe mudabwereketsa nyuzipepala yanu yam'mawa kwa mnansi wanu.
Kodi chikondi cha “Agape” chikutanthauza chiyani kwa inu?
Agape ndi mtundu wa chikondi chomwe mumamva mutachita zachifundo. Kuthandiza osowa, kubwezera ku gulu. Kuchita mbali yanu kumakupangitsani kumva kukhala wokhutitsidwa komwe kumakhala kovuta kufananiza. Ndi chikondi chenicheni chifukwa simuyembekezera kubweza kalikonse (mosiyana ndi nthawi yomwe mumayembekezera mphatso yokumbukira chaka chimodzi kuchokera kwa wokondedwa wanu).
Kuthandiza ena kumadzetsa chimwemwe ndi chikondi, n’chifukwa chake ena amathera miyoyo yawo ku ntchito zachifundo. Tili ndi nthabwala ya agape kwa inu: Kodi monk wa Buddha adanena chiyani kwa wogulitsa galu wotentha? "Ndipange ine kukhala mmodzi ndi chirichonse". Peza? Limodzi ndi zonse… Osadandaula.
4. Ludus - pamene mwana wanu wamkati akugwa m'chikondi
Ludus amatchedwa chikondi chosewera, chofala pakati pa maanja achichepere omwe amakopana mpata uliwonse womwe apeza (chikondi cha galu, mwina?). Ndi chiyambi cha budding ubale, ndi "ukwati gawo" pamene zonse zikuwoneka wangwiro. Ngati mudadutsapo gawo lachisangalalo, mukudziwa momwe zingakhalire zabwino komanso. (Ngati simunadutsepo, zachuluka. Tikulumbira.)
Shazia akutiuza kuti: “Chikondi chotengeka maganizo kapena cha ana agalu ndi kukopeka kwa nthawi yomweyo kumene kuli ngati kukhudzika mtima kwambiri pa munthu.
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Kodi chikondi cha "Ludus" chikutanthauza chiyani kwa inu?
Mkwiyo umene umakhala nawo pamene mukukopana ndi mnzanu mutangoyamba chibwenzi. Simungathe kuyimitsa foni chifukwa nonse mukuyesera kusankha yemwe angayime kaye. Mwa mitundu yonse yachikondi padziko lapansi, Ludus ikhoza kukhala yosangalatsa kwambiri.
Pakati pa mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya chikondi, Ludus - komwe mumatcha wokondedwa wanu "buluu wa uchi" pagulu - ndi amenenso anzanu amadana nawo. Anzanu sangathe kupirira zonyansa koma zokongola zomwe mukuchita. Mukusiya kukhala munthu m'modzi, anzanu tsopano akudziwa kulikonse komwe mwayitanidwa, "bun" yanu ya uchi nayonso ikuphatikiza.
5. Mania - chikondi chomwe simuyenera kukhala nacho
Mania ndi chikondi chopambanitsa, chomwe chimafotokozedwa bwino kuti kudalirana. Ndi pamene pali kusalinganika kwa chikondi mu ubale. Nthawi zambiri kumabweretsa nsanje, kukhala ndi chuma, komanso kungokhala chete maubale oopsa. Agiriki akale amatcha chikondi ichi kuti mania, pomwe zaka zikwizikwi masiku ano amangowatcha kuti stalkers kapena stans (mafani a stalker).
Shazia akuti, “Kaŵirikaŵiri anthu amene amatengeka kwambiri m’chikondi kaŵirikaŵiri amakhala ndi kusokonezeka kwamaganizo kosadziŵika bwino.
Kodi chikondi cha "Mania" chikutanthauza chiyani kwa inu?
Ngati mukuganiza kuti muli pachibwenzi cha "mania", muyenera kuyesetsa kusiya. Wokondedwa wodalira pawokha amathanso kukhala wovuta kwambiri kuchita ndi bwenzi lotengeka ndipo ndi imodzi mwamaubwenzi achikondi omwe munthu ayenera kupewa. Ngati iye amakonda chithunzi chanu cha zaka zinayi zapitazo pamene mukungodziwana, mwina muwafunse momwe maubwenzi awo akale adayendera musanadumphire nawo limodzi.
6. Philautia - kudziyika nokha patsogolo
Philautia ndi mtundu woyenera wa kudzikonda womwe aliyense ayenera kuchita. M'madera amasiku ano, timakhala ndi zithunzi zambiri za momwe "muyenera" kuonekera komanso njira zodzipangira nokha, ngati kuti pali mtundu wina wabwino kwa aliyense. Kuchokera kumitundu yonse yachikondi, tinganene kuti Philautia ndiye wofunikira kwambiri.
Dzivomerezeni momwe mulili ndipo musakhale ndi mkwiyo pa inu nokha. Maganizo anu adzayenda bwino ndipo mudzadzidziwa bwino. Zotsatira zake, maubwenzi ena onse achikondi omwe mudzakhala nawo azikhala bwino. Kudzikonda nokha ndi sitepe yoyamba kupeza chikondi chenicheni.
Shazia akutiuza kuti, "Kudzikonda ndi mtundu wofunika kwambiri wa chikondi, pazaka zonse. M'nthawi yamakono yamakono ndi zochitika zambiri zozungulira ife, zimapangitsa kukhala kofunika kwambiri kukhala ndi kudzikonda. Munthu amene sangathe kudzikonda yekha, sangathe kukonda ena. Kudzisamalira ndi chinthu chabwino kwambiri chomwe mungachite nokha. Kuzindikira kapena kuzindikira zowawa zanu ndizofunika kwambiri. Kudzisamalira nokha ndi nthawi yofunikira. tokha, pokhapo tingathe kusamalira ena.”
Kodi chikondi cha “Philautia” chikutanthauza chiyani kwa inu?
Kudzivomereza momwe mulili m'malo mothawa kudzakhala chinthu chathanzi kwambiri chomwe mungachite. Nthawi zambiri amanenedwa kuti simungakhale paubwenzi wachikondi mpaka mutaphunzira kudzikonda nokha. Pokhapokha mutadziyamikira nokha ndipamene mumakhala ndi mwayi wogawana ubale wabwino ndi wina.
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7. Pragma - chikondi chokhalitsa
Pragma ndi chizindikiro cha ubale wautali komanso wathanzi. Mwa mitundu yonse ya chikondi, ichi ndi chimene chimachititsa munthu kupita 'Aww!' kwambiri. Ndi mtundu wa chikondi chomwe mumawona pakati pa maanja omwe akhala limodzi kwa zaka zambiri, ngakhale zaka zambiri. Chimakhwima m'kupita kwa nthawi, chikondi chomwe chasungidwa mwa kuyesayesa kofanana ndi kuganizirana kuchokera kwa onse awiri, a chikondi chokhalitsa.
Kodi chikondi cha "Pragma" chikutanthauza chiyani kwa inu?
Kumbukirani kuti nthawi ina mudawona banja lakale ndipo munapita zonse "Omg! Ndikufuna zimenezo"? Ndiwo mtundu wa chikondi pragma. Nthawi yachisangalalo ikatha ndikuyamba kukopana komanso kusewera, pomwe chikondi chakhala chikuphuka kwa nthawi yayitali, ndiye pamabwera mtundu wa chikondi chomwe timachidziwa kuti Pragma. Ndi mgwirizano womwe umawoneka ngati sudzatha. Mtundu wa chikondi chomwe aliyense amafuna kuti akwaniritse. “Kukalamba pamodzi”. Ndi chiyani chomwe chingakhale chabwinoko?
8. Philia - chikondi chomwe muli nacho kwa anzanu
Philia amadziwika kuti chikondi chachikondi, ndi champhamvu, chikondi cha platonic mmene mumamvera ndi anzanu. Ubwenzi, ukangotsimikizira kuti ukhoza kupirira mchenga wa nthawi, ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri pa moyo wa aliyense.
Shazia akuwunikiranso chimodzimodzi ponena kuti, "Ubwenzi wa Plato umatchulidwa kwambiri kuti ndi chikondi chenicheni chifukwa sichikhudza kugonana kapena kugonana. Wina amakonda wina chifukwa cha umunthu wake wamkati. Pali malire abwino komanso opanda chitetezo mu ubale. Zoyembekeza zimakhalanso zenizeni komanso zosafuna zambiri. Munthu akhoza kukhala pachibwenzi ndikukhalabe ndi chiyanjano ndi wina aliyense. "
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Kodi chikondi cha “Philia” chimatanthauza chiyani kwa inu?
Imeneyo umaipeza mnzako akakumana ndi mavuto? Ndiye philia. Pamene kukhulupirirana ndi chikondi zimayenda moŵirikiza, ubwenzi umakula. Mumamva ngati muli ndi chitetezo ngati chilichonse chitalakwika. Koma sikuti zimangokhala nthawi zoyipa, chikondi cha philia chimawala mukamacheza chifukwa mumalumikizana bwino.
Kumwa mowa mwauchidakwa kumasanduka makambitsirano a usiku wonse, nthawi imene mumayendera limodzi, nthawi imene mmodzi wa inu ali ndi dzina lotchulidwira limene mumadziwikabe nalo. Zoonadi, chikondi chaubwenzi ndi chinthu chodabwitsa.
Pali mitundu yonse ya chikondi m’dziko lino, ndipo ziribe kanthu kuti mumamva kuti ndi iti, chofunika kukumbukira ndicho kuchikonda ndi kukhala ndi moyo panthaŵiyo. Kupatula ngati mukumva mania, komabe. Chonde musatsatire anthu omwe mumawakonda kuchokera kuseri kwa tchire. Simukufuna kuti chikondi chanu chikhale ngati nkhani yankhani.
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Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
