Ndidazindikira Ndili Mkulu Wanga Chifukwa Chake Amachitcha Chikondi Cha Ana ...

Tinasonkhana mozungulira mayi anga atagona m’bokosi lawo. Amayi adakhala moyo wabwino kwambiri atazunguliridwa ndi banja lawo nthawi zonse. Ngakhale atamwalira, ana ake onse pamodzi ndi mabanja awo anali pafupi naye. Anaikiratu nthawi yotuluka bwino.

Iyi ndi nkhani ya chikondi cha mbali imodzi ya galu

Koma nkhaniyi si ya amayi anga. Ndi za chikondi cha anagalu ndipo ndiyenera kunena za mbali imodzi. Zimenezi zandichititsa chidwi kwambiri moti ndinasankha kulemba za nkhaniyi patapita zaka 35.

Ndinayang'ana m'mwamba kuchokera m'bokosi ndipo ndinamuwona atayima pakhomo. Sanalinso mnyamata wamanyazi Ndinagwa m'chikondi ndi. Ankawoneka wodzidalira, wokhwima ndipo koposa zonse, wokongola. Maso anga anabwerera m’maso mwa amayi anga. Ndinafuna kulira koma maso anga anakhala owuma.

Nthawi inadutsa asanabwere ndikukhala pambali panga kundipepesa. Anatambasula dzanja kuti andigwire dzanja ndikunditonthoza. Titangokhala phee, maganizo anga anabwerera m’mbuyo pamene ndinali ndi zaka 18 pamene anali kuphunzira udokotala.

Ndinkamukonda kwambiri

Tinkakhala m’banja limodzi, amayi, abambo, azichimwene, azichemwali, agogo, azakhali, amalume, azisuweni ndi onse. Anali bwenzi lapamtima la mchimwene wanga ndipo ankakonda kwambiri msuweni wanga. Aliyense ankamukonda chifukwa anali munthu wansangala, wansangala komanso wokongola kwambiri. Enafe m’banjamo tinali ndi maonekedwe apakati. Kuwonjezera apo, ine, makamaka, ndinali introvert.

Nthawi zambiri ankabwera kunyumba kwathu. Pamene ankacheza ndi mabanja athu, ndinkakhala wosalankhulana ndipo sindinkatha kumuyang'ana, osasiyapo kucheza naye mwanzeru. Sindikudziwa kuti ndidazindikira liti kuti ndimamukonda koma zidandiwonekera tsiku lina atabwera kunyumba kwathu kwanthawi yayitali. Ndinadzipeza ndekha ndikuyang'ana madeti pa kalendala kuti ndione ngati ndingathe kuwona ndondomeko m'maulendo ake. Malingaliro anga achichepere ankangoganizira za chikondi chomwe chikukula pakati pathu. Pamene ndimalakalaka kwambiri, m’pamenenso ndinayamba kukondana kwambiri. Ndinkalakalaka ndikanamuona nthawi zambiri. Mwina tsiku lina adzandiona ndipo tidzakhala mabwenzi. Koma popeza ndinali munthu wamanyazi, sindinkadziwa kuti ndingachite bwanji zimenezi.

Ndinaonetsetsa kuti ndikumuwona

Tsiku lina, msuweni wanga wina anadwala zotupa pakhungu ndipo azakhali anga anaganiza zotengera mwanayo kuchipatala kumene ankagwira ntchito. Nthawi yokumana idakonzedwa pafoni Loweruka lotsatira. Adzawayembekezera cha m’ma 10 koloko m’mawa.

Ubongo wanga unayamba kugwira ntchito - ngati ndingapeze chifukwa chowaperekeza, ndikanatha kumuwona. Ndinayamba kukonzekera modus operandi Loweruka.

Loweruka litafika, ndinawauza azakhali angawo kuti ndiwaperekeza kokwerera basi, chifukwa ndinapita kukaonana ndi mnzanga wina wodutsa njira yomweyo. Basi itangofika kumene ndinaima, ndinanamizira kuti ndachita mantha ndipo ndinawauza mayi anga aang’ono kuti, ‘O! Ndangokumbukira, bwenzi langa kulibe lero.” Ndinamenya chikhatho changa pachipumi kuti ndichite bwino.

“O, mutani tsopano?” anafunsa. Ndinapumira n’kunena kuti, “Chabwino, popeza ndili kale m’basi, ndikhoza kukuperekeza kuchipatala.” Ankawoneka wokhutiritsidwa ndipo anali wokondwa kuti ndimakhala naye limodzi.

Zinali zomvetsa chisoni

Titafika kuchipatala, ndinawaperekeza kuchipinda chake ndipo ndinawauza kuti ndidikire panja. Kenako ndinakwera masitepe kuchokera pomwe ndimatha kuyang'ana kuchipinda kwake.

Patapita nthawi, anatuluka m’chipindamo n’kukafunafuna mayi ndi mwana wake wamkazi. Adawabwezanso kuchipinda kukakumana ndi dotolo wamkulu. Kukambiranako sikunatenge mphindi khumi zokha. Kenako anawatulutsa m’chipindacho n’kuwatsanzika. Zinali choncho.

Dongosolo langa linali litagwira ntchito. Komabe ndinali wosokonezeka maganizo. Ndinali wokondwa chifukwa ndinamuwona, kukhumudwa kuti sanayang'ane mmwamba ndi kundiwona, wopusa pazochitika zonse komanso zachisoni chifukwa ndimadziwa kuti sanandizindikire ndipo mwina sangadziwe momwe ndimamvera.

Msuweni wanga anakwatiwa

Tsiku lina ndinafunsa msuweni wanga mwachisawawa ngati anali kumukonda. Iye anati, “Inde” ndiyeno anasinkhasinkha ponena kuti, “Ayi, ayi ndithu.

“Akuoneka kuti amakukondani,” ndinayankha motero. Anakhala chete.

Patatha chaka chimodzi, mnyamata wina wothamanga kwambiri anabwera m'moyo wa msuweni wanga. Anayamba kukondana kwambiri ndipo posakhalitsa anali kukonzekera kukwatira.

Mulumbe wacikozyanyo cangu tacikwe makani aamwaka. Ndinamaliza maphunziro a koleji ndipo ndinapeza ntchito. Ndinayesetsa kuvala bwino ndipo ndinayamba kudzidalira. Tsopano ndinali ndi anzanga ambiri, amuna ndi akazi ndipo ndinayamba kumasuka pang’onopang’ono ndi kudzimva bwino. Zokumbukira zakale zinayamba kuzimiririka komanso maganizo anga okhudza iye.

Anabwera madzulo a ukwati wa msuweni wanga

Kenako, mosayembekezereka, anabwera kunyumba tsiku lina. Unali madzulo a ukwati wa msuweni wanga. Ndinali kokagula zinthu tsiku lonse ndipo ndinabwera kunyumba madzulo, nditatopa. M’nyumbamo munali anthu ambiri koma nthawi yomweyo ndinamuona. Iye anakhala pakona ya holoyo, n’kumaonerera mwakachetechete zochitika zomuzungulira. Ndinadabwa ngati kukwatiwa kwamudabwitsa. Mwaona, sanadziwitsidwe za ukwatiwo. Anangolowa mwachisawawa monga ankachitira nthawi zonse, ndipo anadzipezera yekha. Msuweni wanga analibe maso.

Ndinalimba mtima kulankhula naye

Chipindacho chitangotuluka pang’onopang’ono, ndinalimba mtima n’kupita kukapereka moni. "Zikumakuyenderani bwanji?" Ndinafunsa mwaulemu. Sindikukumbukira zomwe ananena koma zinali zokhudzana ndi matenda akhungu omwe anali nawo, omwe amathandizidwa. Atapita kukaonana ndi dokotala wake ndi kumuwombera, ndiye anali ataganiza zotiona. Ndinamulola kuti alankhule kwinaku maso anga akuyang'ana chilichonse chokhudza iye. Ankawoneka wotopa, wotumbululuka, wokhumudwa komabe, anali wokondedwabe. Mtima wanga unali wosweka ndi chikondi chimene ndinali nacho pa iye.

Kenako anatambasula dzanja lake kundionetsa matenda a pakhungu. "Mwaona, apa ndi pomwe ndidawombera, pa matendawo." Ndinayang'ana pa mkono wake ndipo ndinawona kachigamba kakang'ono koyera. Chinali ndi madontho awiri ofiira pakati ndipo khungu lozungulirapo linkawoneka lofiira komanso lotupa. Dzanja lake linali kunjenjemera. Misozi inatuluka m’maso mwanga nditatambasula dzanja lake ndikumugwira modekha. Ndinkakhulupirira kuti kukhudza kwanga kudzamuuza momwe amandikondera. Koma munthuyo anabwerera nati, “Oh.”

"Kodi zimapweteka?" Ndidafunsa. Anagwedeza mutu.

“Pepani,” ndinatero. Ndikukhulupirira muchira. Zonse ndi zochizika masiku ano. Anagwedezanso mutu.

Anadzuka n’kuyang’ana pomuzungulira. Ayenera kuti anazindikira kuti kunali kopanda phindu kumangoyendayenda. Msuweni wanga analibe nthawi yocheza naye tsiku limenelo.

"Choncho, zikhala bwino ndiye." Anamwetulira mwachisoni. Sindinathe kumuyang'ana chifukwa m'maso mwanga munali misozi. "Chabwino." zinali zonse zomwe ndimatha kung'ung'udza.

Sindinamuonenso

Atatuluka pakhomo paja, sindimadziwa kuti sindidzamuonanso. Ndinkayembekeza kuti akachira abweranso koma sanatero.

Moyo unadutsa. Pambuyo pake ndinakwatiwa, ndinakhala ndi ana aŵiri ndipo ndinakhazikika m’moyo. Nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi, ndinkamufunafuna paukonde. Chifukwa chake ndikudziwa kuti adakhala dotolo wochita bwino ku US. Ndinauzidwa kuti adalumikizana ndi msuweni wanga kangapo koma adawona kuti sakufuna kulumikizana. Salinso mabwenzi.

Komabe, mabanja athu amamukumbukira mosangalala ngakhale masiku ano. Ndikuganiza kuti aliyense wa ife ankamukonda m'njira yake. Sitilankhula kawirikawiri za iye. Zikuoneka kuti iye wachoka m'moyo wathu. Ndikuyembekezerabe kuti ndidzamuona tsiku lina. Ndimadziyerekezera ndekha ndikumuyang'ana chapatali, osazindikirika monga nthawi zonse. Ndikungofuna kuwona momwe amawonekera, ndikudziwa kuti akuchita bwino komanso akusangalala ndi moyo wake.

Nthawi zonse anali m'maganizo mwanga

Ali m'maganizo mwanga nthawi zanga za chisangalalo. Ndinamuuza mwakachetechete kuti ndine akukonzekera kukwatira, kuti ndili ndi ana aakazi awiri komanso owoneka bwino, kuti ndapeza ntchito yamaloto anga ndipo pomaliza pake ndakhutira.

Ali m'malingaliro anga munthawi zachisoni kwambiri. Ndinamuuza kuti ndinachitidwa opaleshoni yaikulu, kuti ndinadwala matenda a Herpes ndipo ndinatsala pang’ono kufa, kuti atsikana anga pomalizira pake anali kuchoka panyumba kukakhala ndi moyo wawo ndipo pomalizira pake amayi anga anamwalira. Munamudziwa bwino kwambiri koma simudzadziwa za kutha kwake.' Ndinamuuza mwakachetechete.

Izi mwina ndiye chifukwa chake adawonekera, kukhala pafupi ndi ine, ndikundigwira dzanja. Kuchipinda kuja ndinaona mchimwene wanga akutiyang'ana asanatuluke m'chipindamo ndi atsikana anga. Tinakhala komweko kwa kanthawi, akusimba zomwe sindikukumbukira. Ndinangosangalala ali pomwepo ndikundigwira dzanja.

Anali maloto

Koma kenako, ndinadzuka ku maloto anga ndipo ndinazindikira kuti amayi anamwalira mwezi wapitawo.

Nditakhala tsonga pabedi, ndinadzifunsa ngati ndingamufufuze m’maganizo mwanga. Ndikuganiza kuti ndipitirizabe kumuganizira pazochitika zonse zofunika kwambiri pamoyo wanga, ndikuyembekeza kudzamuona tsiku lina m’moyo weniweni.

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