Zizindikiro 10 Zofotokozera Simunakonzekere Ubale Waukulu, Wodzipereka

Phobia yodzipereka nthawi zambiri imakhudzana ndi kusamvetsetsa bwino zomwe anthu amadzifunira okha. Chikondi, kwa zaka zambiri, chasintha ndipo sichilinso chakuda ndi choyera. M’maiko ena, kupeza chikondi kapena kukakamizika kupeza chikondi kuli kofala; ndi gawo la chikhalidwe chomwe timakakamizika kukwatira kapena kukhala ndi ana. Mopupuluma momwe zilili, zimasokoneza zomwe chikondi chikadakhala chikadapanda kukankhidwa.

Maubwenzi nthawi zambiri amagwira ntchito, ngati muli ndi mwayi. Koma inu mukhoza kukhala mtundu amene sangathe kudziona / yekha mu ubale wodzipereka kwa nthawi yaitali. Palibe chifukwa chodziimba mlandu. Ngati mukuganiza kuti, “Ndimamukonda kwambiri koma sindine wokonzeka kukhala pachibwenzi”, musadziganizire kuti ndinu olakwa. Pali anthu ambiri ngati inu amene amamva chimodzimodzi. Koma apa pali mfundo zina zomwe muyenera kuzitsatira.

Maubale sali ngati nyimbo yomwe mumapeza kuti mukhale ndi mbiri yanthawi zonse komanso nambala yovina pamtima wa wokondedwa wanu. Zili ngati kudzipanikiza ndikuzindikira kuti muyenera kudzizindikira. Maubale amatha kukupatsirani zowunikira zenizeni zomwe zimakuthandizani kuti mumvetsetse bwino.

Kodi Kukhala mu Ubale Wodzipereka Kumatanthauza Chiyani?

Kumvetsetsa kudzipereka - phobia choyamba tiyenera kumvetsetsa zizindikiro za ubale wodzipereka. Anne ndi Ricky anali pachibwenzi kwa zaka 10. Amakhulupirira kuti ubale wawo ndi wodzipereka chifukwa nthawi zonse amakhala limodzi, amamvetsetsana bwino ndipo aliyense ankaganiza kuti pambuyo pa nthawi yayitali yachibwenzi sichingalephereke kuti awiriwa akwatirana.

Ricky anali pafupifupi bwenzi lodzipereka. Nthawi zonse ankapeza nthawi yocheza naye akaweruka kuntchito ndipo ankakumana madzulo aliwonse. Kumapeto kwa sabata, ankakonda kucheza ndi abwenzi ndipo Anne anali mbali ya banja la Ricky monga Ricky anali gawo la Anne. Anaitanidwa ku misonkhano yabanja ndipo anali kusangalala ndi kudwaladwala.

Ubale wawo unali ndi zizindikiro zonse za kudzipereka, koma zinthu zinayamba kusintha pamene Anne anabweretsa ukwati. Ricky anayamba kukhala ndi mapazi ozizira ndipo sanali wokonzeka kudzipereka ku chiyanjano chomwe chinali kupita ku mlingo wotsatira. Ankafuna kuti ubalewo ukhale momwe unkakhalira ndipo sanafune kuupititsa patsogolo.

Choncho, pamene anali chibwenzi chodzipereka, sanali wokonzeka kukhala mwamuna. Mumadziwa bwanji ngati muli ndi vuto lodzipereka? Tidzakambirana za zizindikiro, kapena mbendera zofiira zomwe anthu ambiri amanyalanyaza paubwenzi.

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Zizindikiro za ubale wodzipereka zitha kuwoneka koma palinso magawo odzipereka. Monga tanenera mu ubale wa Anne-Ricky, Ricky anali wokonzeka kukhala bwenzi lodzipereka koma posakhalitsa funso la kugawana denga lomwelo linabwera, adayamba kusonyeza zizindikiro kuti sanali wokonzeka kudzipereka komaliza.

Ndiye ndi liti pamene mudutsa magawo awa ndikumvetsetsa kuti wokondedwa wanu angakhale wotani? Kapena mukuyesera kuyendetsa gawo lanu pachibwenzi chifukwa mwakhala mukukonzekera lingaliro lakuti, "Sindinakonzekere chibwenzi koma ndimamukonda". Mwachionekere, malingaliro anu angakhale amphamvu koma simunakonzekere kuchitapo kanthu.

Ndi zizindikiro ziti zomwe simunakonzekere kukhala pachibwenzi? Tiyeni tifufuze.

1. Ndiwe wosatetezeka nthawi zonse

Mukusowa kukonzekera ubale chifukwa ndinu osatetezeka zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala osakonzeka kudzipereka pachibwenzi. Mumadandaula za tsogolo, kudandaula kuti mnzanuyo akhoza kukusiyani kapena sizingayende bwino kuti musalowe muubwenzi wodzipereka chifukwa cha kukula kwake. Kusatetezeka kungachepe pang'ono ngati mutapeza kutsimikizika kokwanira koma kumakhala kowopsa nthawi ina. Kusatetezeka kwanu kosalekeza sikukulolani kuchita mu ubale.

Chikondi si maluwa odzaza ndi kutsimikizika, ndi chinthu chinanso chosamvetsetseka poyambira. Koma ngati mukuyang'ana kudzaza chosowa mkati mwanu ndi kutsimikizira kwa anthu, ndiye kuti simukudziwa kuti muli ndi chikondi chokhazikika mkati mwanu.

Izi zikutanthawuzanso kuti mukufuna kudalira maganizo, zomwe ziri zachilungamo, koma kudalira kwathunthu kumakhala kovulaza kwa inu. Koma mutapeza munthu amene ali kumeneko mopanda malire, ndiye kuti mudzazindikira kuti simukusowa kudalira maganizo.

2. Simukonda kugawana zinthu

Ndikutanthauza, ndibwino kuti tisagawane zinthu ndikukhala mwapadera mwanjira imeneyo, koma payenera kukhala kumvetsetsa mozama za vutoli. Zomwe zimawoneka ngati kusafuna kugawana nawo pamtunda, zitha kuchokera ku chinthu chovuta kwambiri.

Kugawana ndi zomwe taphunzitsidwa ndi anzathu kapena makolo athu. Ndi chizindikiro cha kuwolowa manja ndikuwonetsa kuti mumasamala za munthu amene mukugawana naye.

Ngati simunakonzekere kugawana momasuka komanso mofunitsitsa ndiye kuti Mtheradi wofiira mbendera. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazizindikiro zotsimikizika kuti simunakonzekere kukhala pachibwenzi chifukwa ubale weniweni umangokhudza mgwirizano. Kuwolowa manja kwanu kumawonekera kokha mukakonda wina mwamphamvu mokwanira kuti agawane chilichonse kuyambira pamasamba apompopompo kupita pa TV. Mukatero mudzadziwa kuti mwakonzeka kukhala pachibwenzi.

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3. Simunakonzekere kudzipereka chifukwa cha malingaliro osathetsedwa

Apa ndipamene timalakwitsa kwambiri koma musadzivutitse nokha ngati ichi ndi chifukwa chenicheni chomwe simunakonzekere kuchita chibwenzi. Kumbukirani kuti malingaliro oterowo ndi mbali chabe ya munthu. Malingaliro osathetsedwa ali ngati mzukwa; nthawi zonse mukhoza kumudula munthu ameneyo, koma mumatani ndi mzimuwo? Kodi mumalola kuti zikuvutitseni?

Inde, zachisoni mumachita ndipo pokhapokha mutadzipezera nokha kutsekedwa, simungathe kuchita ndi munthu wina. Muyenera kuluma ndikuchita zomwe zikufunika; inu mukudziwa bwino chimene inunso muyenera kuchita. Tsatirani malingaliro anu ndikupeza njira yothanirana ndi zovutazo zisanakhudze moyo wanu wonse komanso maubwenzi anu ena.

4. Mukuyembekezera munthu woyenera popanda kumuyang'anira

Nthawi zonse mumakhala ndi munthu woyenera pafupi nanu ndipo mwina mukuwatenga mopepuka. Mutha kukhala wodzikweza, koma kungotenga munthu woyenera mosasamala kumangobweretsa mavuto ambiri kwa inu.

Palibe maluwa ndi ndakatulo, ngakhale chikondi, choncho tulukani ndikukhala ozindikira pamene mukufunafuna. cholondola. Ngati mukukayikirabe, lembani zomwe mukufuna mwa munthu "woyenera" ndiyeno pitirizani. Zidzakutengerani masiku ambiri ndipo zingatenge chaka chimodzi kapena kuposerapo.

Ngati malingaliro anu ali, "Ndimamukonda kwambiri koma sindinakonzekere chibwenzi", ndizotheka kuti sali munthu woyenera kwa inu. Koma sizingakhale zovuta kuti mupeze munthu woyenera, pokhapokha ngati simukufuna kuti zinthu ziyende bwino.

5. Muli ndi nkhani zazikulu zodzipereka

Anthu alibe kulimba mtima kuti avomereze izi, koma nkhaniyi siyenera kupeputsa. Ngati simunakonzekere kukhala pachibwenzi koma mukukondana ndi munthuyo, vuto si ubale koma ndi inu, mkati.

Kudzipereka ndi sitepe yomwe imaphwanya ubalewo mpaka kufika pamlingo wa mamolekyu awo. Ndi sitepe kumene mumaphunzira kudziwa kuti simuli nokha. Ingoyang'anani mwachizoloŵezi ndikuwona ngati muli bwino ndi lingaliro lakuti wina ali muzochitika zomwe mumatsatira tsiku ndi tsiku. Yambani kuzolowera kumva kukhala ndi munthu pafupi ndiyeno mudzaphunzira pang'onopang'ono kupewa phobia yodzipereka.

6. Mukufuna kutenga zisankho zanu

Pamene simunakonzekere chibwenzi koma m'chikondi, ndizotheka kuti nkhani zanu zimakhala zochepa komanso zakunja. Kukhala ndi munthu kumatanthauza kuti muyenera kupanga zisankho zambiri poganizira zomwe amakonda ndi zomwe sakonda. Zitha kuyamba kuchokera kumalo odyera omwe mumasankha kupita kuzinthu zazikulu monga kugulitsa nyumba limodzi.

Ngakhale mungakhale okondwa ndi nyumba yaying'ono, mnzanuyo akhoza kukankhira yaikulu. Mukuipidwa ndi mfundo yakuti simungathe kudzitengera nokha zosankha. Inu mukhoza kukhala mkazi wopanda pake amene amasamala kulola zingwe kapena kugawana ndi wina. Mwina mwakhala nthawi yambiri mukudzisamalira, ndipo zimakuvutani kuti muganizire kugawana udindo umenewo ndi munthu wina. Ichi ndi chizindikiro chakuti simunakonzekere kudzipereka.

7. Mukuyang'ana ungwiro

Ichi ndi chinachake simudzapeza ndipo inu mukudziwa kuti mu mtima mwanu. Koma kufunafuna munthu wangwiro woti mum’kwatire kapena kukwatirana naye kumakupatsani chowiringula chakuti simunapezebe munthu woyenera. Koma kulimbana nazo. Chowonadi ndichakuti simunakonzekere kudzipereka, chifukwa chake pansi pazovala zofunafuna ungwiro, mukudyetsa kudzipereka kwanu.

Mwachitsanzo, Amy akamasambira kumanzere ndi kumanja pa Tinder, amaletsa kwambiri anthu omwe amalankhula nawo kapena kupita nawo. Osatilakwitse, kukhala osamala kuli bwino koma mfundo za Amy ndizokwera kwambiri. Ayenera kukhala wamtali, wokulirapo, kukhala loya komanso kukhala ndi galu. Chilichonse kupatula icho, ndipo Amy akuyamba kutaya chidwi. Izi zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kwa iye kuti adzitsegulire yekha mwayi wochita wina yemwe angangomudabwitsa!

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8. Zikuwoneka ngati zofunika kwa inu

Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe simunakonzekere kukhala pachibwenzi ndi chakuti mumakhala otanganidwa ndi maonekedwe akunja a munthu. Mumasamala kwambiri za momwe munthuyo amawonekera. Mukufuna kuti munthu amene mumakumana naye kapena kukwatirana naye aziwoneka bwino. Ichi ndi chiyembekezo china chosatheka chomwe chingakupangitseni kukhala osakonzekera kudzipereka chifukwa kudzipereka kumadutsa zinthu zachiphamaso.

Ndipo mwanjira iyi, mumasunga chibwenzi cha benchi ndikuyembekeza kuti munthu wotsatira yemwe mudzakumane naye adzakhala wowoneka bwino kwambiri, munthu wamaloto anu. Izi sizili kanthu koma kupewa kudzipereka komwe mungafunikire kupereka ngati mutakhala paubwenzi wokhazikika ndi wina aliyense.

9. Mukufuna chinsinsi chanu

Kudzipereka kwa wina yemwe ali pachibwenzi sikutanthauza kugawana imelo kapena mapasiwedi ochezera a pawebusaiti koma zikutanthauza kuti mumagawana zinsinsi zanu ndi munthuyo. Si zachilendo kuti adziwe kumene muli kumapeto kwa mlungu kapena nthawi imene munachokera kuntchito. Koma munthu amene sali okonzeka kudzipereka ku chiyanjano, adzayamikira chinsinsi chawo ndi malo kuposa china chirichonse, ngakhale chikondi.

Amatha kubwera kunyumba kwanu nthawi iliyonse akafuna kukumbatirana pampando. Koma mukufuna chinsinsi chanu kuti muwonere Netflix yokha pamasewera anu. Ichi ndi chizindikiro chodziwikiratu kuti simunakonzekere kudzipereka kapena kugawana moyo wanu ndi wina aliyense.

Mwachitsanzo, Mike amabwera kunyumba usiku uliwonse kukakhala pachibwenzi ndi Veronica. Veronica anali atatopa kwambiri moti ankakonda kuzizira yekha m’chipindamo ndipo anapempha Mike kuti amupatse mpata pamene iye amakhala ola limodzi kapena awiri pakhonde kapena pampando. Mike akuona kuti zimenezi n’zopanda chilungamo ndipo nthawi zambiri amanena kuti akakhalabe m’chipinda chimodzi ngati sakulankhula. Koma Veronica sanasunthike chifukwa sakufuna kusiya nthawi yake yekha.

10. Nthawi zonse mumawerengera ndalama

Kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati muli ndi vuto lodzipereka kapena mutatenga zizindikiro kuti simunakonzekere chibwenzi? Yankho ndilo lingaliro kwambiri la kuwononga ndalama zowonjezera pa mnzanu pa tsiku, tchuthi kapena pa chakudya chamadzulo zimakupangitsani kukhala osasangalala kapena osamasuka.

Mumamva bwino mukabisa ndalama zanu kubanki ndikuzigwiritsa ntchito pang'ono momwe mungathere. Lingaliro la kudzipereka limakusokonezani chifukwa zingatanthauze kugwiritsa ntchito ndalama zambiri kuti mudabwe mnzanu. Ngati mukuganiza motere nthawi zonse ndibwino kuti mukhale kutali ndi ubale wodzipereka.

Kugwa m'chikondi ndikumva bwino kwambiri, koma kukhala m'chikondi ndi kosiyana kwambiri. Chikondi chanu chilipo osati nthawi yomweyo, chifukwa zonse zimatengera momwe mumaonera zinthu. Ngati mulidi wamalingaliro akuti, "Sindinakonzekere chibwenzi koma ndimamukonda", zili bwino. Simufunikanso kudzikakamiza kuti mukhale pachibwenzi chifukwa chakuti mumamukonda.

Ganizirani malingaliro anu osathetsedwa poyamba musanakoke wina ndi inu nokha m'matope, pamene simukudziwa zomwe mukufuna. Lolerani, koma chitani mosamalitsa, kuti zisabwerenso kudzasokoneza chikumbumtima chanu. Ngati mukuyenera kudzipereka, chitani ndi mtima wonse komanso pokhapokha zikaikirazo zitatha. Ngati sichoncho, sangalalani ndi moyo wanu wosakwatiwa ndikuchita kafukufuku pang'ono.

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