Ubuya kusabela njani ukuba ukukhankanywa komsebenzi wakho kukwenza ube nenkangeleko eyenyanyekayo, elandelwa kukuthuka? Udimazekile, udimazekile, udakumbile, mhlawumbi? Okulusizi kukuba, ezo mvakalelo zimasikizi ziyinyaniso ebuhlungu kubathengisi ngemizimba, ngokukodwa kwiphulo labo lokufuna uthando.
Ukuzama ukufumana uthando ngelixa umsebenzi wakho ujongelwa phantsi ngokubanzi kubonakala ngathi yinto engenakwenzeka, ngakumbi kwihlabathi apho inzondo nocalucalulo lusaqhuba. Kumabali esiwavileyo, ukufumana uthando kubonakala kungenamsebenzi xa ubomi bakho busongelwa xa usemsebenzini.
Ukuqonda iingxaki kunye nengxaki yabathengisi ngemizimba ngcono kancinci, sabuza umntu othengisa ngesondo waseColombia UMia Gomez ngobunzima athe wabufumana ngoxa wayezama ukufumana uthando.
Zeziphi iingxaki abajongana nazo abathengisi ngesondo ngelixa bezama ukufumana uthando?
Ngaba umhla wakho ubandakanyeka kumsebenzi wesondo ube ngumthengisi opheleleyo kuwe? Ukude uphakame uhambe? Umrhwebi waseColombia uMia Gomez usixelela ukuba unamava amadoda angafuni kwanto yakwenza naye nje ukuba abaxelele ngomsebenzi wakhe. “Amaxesha amaninzi ndiye ndafumana ithuba lokuthanda, kodwa xa bendibuza ukuba ndenza ntoni, baye bandishiye ngoko nangoko xa ndibaxelela ukuba ndithengisa ngomzimba,” utsho.
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“Ndicinga ukuba ileyibhile yokuba ngumthengisi ngemizimba inkulu kakhulu ukuba abantu bangajongi ngayo.” Ukubandakanyeka nje kolu shishino kuwonakalisa umdla womntu obenokufuna ukuthetha nawe ngenye indlela,” wongezelela ngelitshoyo.
Iminyaka yocalucalulo ngoku sele iqalile ukutya ukuzithemba kukaMia, into obunokulindela ukuba yenzeke xa ubonwa njengomntu ongalufanelanga uthando ngenxa yomsebenzi wakho. “Ndiphupha ngokutshata ndize ndibe nabantwana, kodwa njengomntu othengisa ngesondo, kuvakala ngathi ndigwetyiwe ukuba ndedwa kwaye andilufanelanga uthando.”
Xa ukukhankanywa komsebenzi wakho ngokukhawuleza kubangela intiyo, ucalucalulo kwaye ngamanye amaxesha nokuthetha kakubi, ngokuqikelelwayo, kuya kuchaphazela impilo yakho yengqondo. Ukufumana uthando lokwenene inokuba yinyani ekude. Nangona oku kunokuvakala kumbi, kuMia, iingxaki azipheli ngelixa uzama ukufumana uthando.
Ucalucalulo umntu ajongene nalo
Ukuba ngumthengisi ngesondo we-transgender, uMia akaqhelekanga ekufumaneni ukuxhatshazwa ngamazwi/emzimbeni. “Njengoko ndiphuma kwilizwe lehlabathi lesithathu, abantu bakhona ababamkeli kakhulu abathengisi ngemizimba ngokubanzi.
Ethetha ngeziganeko angathanda ukuzilibala, uMia usixelela ngexesha awayesondele ekuphulukaneni nobomi bakhe ngelixa esemsebenzini. “Ndathathwa ndasiwa kwindawo engenamntu, apho ndatsalwa imela kum emva kokulala nomntu othile, ngokungathi babezisola yaye benetyala, befuna ukundibulala ngenxa yoko, ndasindiswa kuphela ngumntu ongenakhaya owathi ngethamsanqa wandinceda,” utsho
“Ndiyabulela, ubomi bam busindisiwe, kodwa izivubeko ezishiye umphefumlo wam zindityumza unanamhla, ndingazama njani ukufumana uthando, ekubeni ndihlaselwe emzimbeni ngaphandle kwesizathu? Wongeza uMia.
Ukuba uyazibuza ukuba ngaba eli libali elahlukileyo kuMia, cinga kwakhona. “Bonke abathengisi ngemizimba endibaziyo banebali elifanayo abalibalisayo. Silahliwe luluntu, amaxesha amaninzi esonzakala ngokwasemzimbeni/ngokwamazwi. Kodwa oku kusenza somelele,” utshilo.
Abathengisi ngemizimba banokuba nethemba lokufumana njani uthando?
Xa ujongene nobunyani obunjalo bemeko, kuyaqondakala ukuba abathengisi ngemizimba banokuba nembono engathandekiyo ngayo yonke imeko. UMia ufuna ukuba nosapho kwaye abe ngumama ngenye imini, kodwa ucinga ukuba ayizukwenzeka logama nje ebandakanyeka kumsebenzi wesondo. Ukufumana indoda elungileyo inzima nangona kunjalo. Xa kudityaniswa nocalucalulo, kubonakala kungenakwenzeka.
“Ndilikholwa elithembekileyo kuthando nangona kukho ubunzima, kodwa ekuphela kwento endiyibonayo kukuphuma kweli shishini.Ndifuna ukuba ngumyili wefashoni, kwaye ndidiniwe kukungabikho kokusesikweni esijongene nako.Okwangoku kubonakala ngathi ukuxhotyiswa ngemfundo kuphela kwendlela yokuphuma,” utsho.
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“Ucalucalulo olujoliswe kubathengisi ngemizimba alupheli kwakamsinyane, ngoko nangoko, basibona njengeqhekeza lenyama, ukuchaswa nokulahlwa.
Ucalucalulo abajongene nalo ngabathengisi ngemizimba, hayi kwihlabathi lamadinga kuphela kodwa kuzo zonke iinkalo zoluntu, luyoyikeka njengoko lungekho sikweni. Ngelixa singenako ukuguqula ingqondo yesizukulwana sonke ngesiquphe, utshintsho lunokuqala ngokwazisa abanye abasingqongileyo ngokungabikho kobulungisa okujongwa ngabathengisi ngemizimba.
Ngethemba ukuba ngenye imini, abathengisi ngemizimba abanjengoMia baya kukwazi ukufumana uthando ngaphandle kokuphoswa kwenkangeleko yehlazo. Ukuza kuthi ga ngoko, eyona nto sinokuyithemba bububele obusisiseko kunye nentlonipho kuye wonke umntu, nokuba unjani na, isini, uhlanga okanye inkangeleko.
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