| Iimpawu eziphambili Iimpawu zokuba nothando lwabantu abathandana nabesilisa nabesifazane kumadoda ziquka ukutsaleleka rhoqo kubantu besini esinye kumaphupha, ukutsaleleka ngokweemvakalelo ebantwini nokuba bangobani na, ukuba nelebula yobuntu obufanayo kuvakala ngathi kuyavuselela, kunye nokuzikhusela xa uthando lwabantu abathandana nabesilisa nabesifazane lukhankanywa. Ukuthandana kwabantu besini esinye kukho ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Uninzi lwamadoda athandana nabantu besini esinye alunamdla ngokulinganayo kuzo zonke izini, kwaye oko akuthethi ukuba ubuwena bawo abunamsebenzi kangako. Uphononongo olubalulekileyo lwe-PNAS lwango-2020 lwamadoda angaphezu kwama-474 luqinisekisile ukuba amadoda aziwa ngokuba ngabesilisa nabasetyhini abonisa iipatheni zothando ezicacileyo, nto leyo emisela ukuba amadoda angamadoda athandana nabantu besini esinye njengesiqhelo esaziwayo ngokwesayensi. Amadoda athandana nabantu besini esinye axela amazinga aphezulu okuxhalaba nokudakumba kunamadoda athandana nabantu besini esinye namadoda athandana nabantu besini esinye, ikakhulu ngenxa yokwahlukana kwamadoda amabini kunye nokucalulwa kwamadoda omabini kumacala omabini esondo. Ezi mpawu ziindawo zokuqala zokuzihlolisisa, hayi uluhlu lokuhlola okanye ukuxilongwa. Umntu okuphela kwakhe onokuchaza indlela ocinga ngayo nguwe |
Iimpawu zokuba nothando okanye ukuthandana nabantu besini esinye kumadoda ngamava okutsaleleka kuthando okanye ngokwesondo kubantu besini esinye. Akunjalo ngaxeshanye, akungabi ngokulinganayo, kwaye akungabi ngendlela efanayo. Ukuthandana kwabantu besini esinye kumadoda yindlela eqinisekisiweyo ngokwesayensi, ezinzileyo, ayilonyathelo lokuya kwenye into.
Kodwa ke, ukuba uyindoda ezama ukuqonda oku, ingxolo inokuba yinto eyoyikisayo. Amadoda amabini axelelwa ukuba ngempela isitabane, ukuba sisigaba, ukuba bafuna nje abantu abathathu, okanye ukuba abanakuzibophelela. Akukho nanye kwezo zinto iyinyani. Yintoni is Inyani yile yokuba ukuba ngamadoda athandana nabantu besini esinye kuxhaphake kakhulu kunokuba abantu abaninzi becinga, kuyinkimbinkimbi ngaphezu kokuba uninzi lweenkcazo zibonisa, kwaye kusemthethweni ngaphezu kokuba ukholelwa ukuba ibala elijikeleze oko.
bakaGallup Zophando ibonisa ukuba abantu abathandana nabesilisa nabesifazane benza iqela elikhulu kuluntu lwe-LGBT, kwaye ukuchongwa kwabo kuyanda ngokukhawuleza phakathi kwabantu abadala abancinci. Sekunjalo amadoda angama-bi ahlala eliqela elincinci kweli qela, ngokuyinxenye kuba ukugculelwa malunga nokuba ngamadoda abathandana nabesilisa nabasetyhini kuyingozi kakhulu.
Ukuze sikuncede uqonde ukuba iimpawu zokuthanda abantu abathandana nabesilisa nabasetyhini zibonakala njani, kwaye azibonakali njani, siye sabonisana Deepak Kashyap, ingcali yezengqondo yokunika iingcebiso kunye nomqeqeshi wezakhono zobomi oqinisekisiweyo (MA, Psychology of Education), ogxile kwi-LGBTQ kunye neengcebiso ezivaliweyo.
Yintoni Ubuni Besini Ezibini?
Isiqulatho
Ngokutsho kommeli wabantu abathandana nabesilisa nabesifazane URobyn Ochs, ubungqingili bubuchule bokuthandana okanye ukutsaleleka ngokwesondo kubantu besini esinye okanye ngaphezulu kwesinye. Akunjalo ngexesha elinye, kungekhona ngendlela efanayo, kwaye kungekhona kwinqanaba elifanayo. Ngowama-2020, I-Merriam-Webster ihlaziye inkcazo yayo ukubonisa ukuba isini sikhona ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, ukuqonda ubungqingili njengento enomtsalane "kwisini esifanayo nakwisini esahlukileyo" kunokuba kube ngamadoda nabafazi kuphela.
Isimaphambili esithi 'bi' siyabakhubekisa abantu kuba basifunda njengabantu ababini, ingakumbi indoda/ibhinqa. Kodwa ezi zimbini kwi-bisexual zibhekisa ekutsalelekeni kwisini esifana nesakho kunye nesini esahlukileyo kwesakho. Oko kuyivula kakhulu loo nto. Ukuba uzibuza ukuba uwela phi, iBonobology's Ngaba ndingumntu othanda abantu besini esinye? yindawo eluncedo yokuqala ukuzihlolisisa.
Isikali seKinsey kunye nendawo apho ubungqingili buhlala khona
Isazi ngesondo UAlfred Kinsey Wazisa isikali sakhe esidumileyo ngasekupheleni kweminyaka yoo-1940 ukubonisa ukuba isini somntu sikhona kwi-continuum, kungekhona kwi-binary. Esi sikali siqala ku-0 (ngokukhethekileyo kubantu abathandana nabesilisa nabesifazane) ukuya ku-6 (ngokukhethekileyo ngabantu abathandana nabesilisa nabesifazane), uninzi lwabantu luphakathi. Ngokubanzi, ubungqingili bugubungela amanqaku ukusuka kwi-1 ukuya kwi-5.
| Isikali seKinsey ngokuKhawuleza• 0: Kuphela ngabantu abathandana nabesilisa nabesifazane 1: Ikakhulu abantu abathandana nabesilisa nabesifazane, nangona kunjalo abantu abathandana nabesilisa nabesifazane 2: Ikakhulu ngabantu abathandana nabesilisa nabesifazane, kodwa ngaphezu kokuba ngabantu abathandana nabesilisa nabesifazane 3: Abantu abathandana nabesilisa nabesifazane ngokulinganayo 4: Inkoliso yabo ngabantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye, kodwa ngaphezu kokuba ngabantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye 5: Inkoliso yabo ngabantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye, okanye abantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye 6: Umntu othandana nabantu besini esinye kuphela Most bisexual men don’t sit at exactly 3. Leaning more toward women, toward men, or toward nonbinary people at different points in life is all within the normal range. |
Ngeminyaka yoo-1970, uFritz Klein wandisa umsebenzi kaKinsey nge- Igridi yoQeqesho lwezesondo yaseKlein, echaza indlela umntu athandana ngayo ngokwesondo kwizinto ezisixhenxe: ukutsala, ukuziphatha, iingcinga, indlela athandana ngayo ngokweemvakalelo, indlela athandana ngayo nabantu, indlela aphila ngayo, kunye nokuzazi, ezichazwe kwixesha elidlulileyo, langoku, nelizayo elicingelwayo. Sisikhumbuzo esiluncedo sokuba indlela athandana ngayo ayilonqaku linye elimiselweyo.
Abantu abathandana nabesilisa nabasetyhini kunye nabantu abathandana nabesilisa nabasetyhini: Yintoni umahluko?
Ezi mpawu zimbini ziyadibana kwaye ngamanye amaxesha zisetyenziswa ngokutshintshana, kodwa azifani. Umahluko awubalulekanga kangako kwindlela oziva ngayo kodwa ubaluleke kakhulu kwindlela ofuna ukuyichaza ngayo. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela: amanye amadoda afumanisa ukuba athetha ngakumbi nge i-panromantic ubuwena, apho ukutsaleleka kothando kukho ngaphandle kwesini, nto leyo enxulumene kodwa eyahlukileyo kwi-pansexuality.
| ulala | I-Pansexual | |
| Nditsaleleke kwi | Ngaphezulu kwesini esinye (isini siyinxalenye yamava) | Abantu nokuba bangobani na isini (isini asiyonto ibalulekileyo) |
| Ukuqonda ngesini | Isini sidlala indima kwindlela abantu abatsaleleka ngayo | Ukutsalana kukho ngaphandle kobume besini |
| Ukudibana? | Ewe, abantu abaninzi bayakhululeka ngeelebhile zombini | Ewe, abanye abantu abaqhelekileyo bazibona njengabantu abathandana nabantu ababini |
| Ukuziqhelanisa | Idla ngokuchazwa njengokutsaleleka kubantu besini esifanayo nesakho | Idla ngokuchazwa njengokutsalela abantu, ukuzola ngokupheleleyo |
Amanye amadoda afumanisa ukuba 'abantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye' bafaneleka ngcono; amanye akhetha 'abantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye' okanye 'abantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye.' Ukuba akukho namnye kubo ovakalelwa kukuba ufanelekile, kulungile naloo nto. Okubalulekileyo kukuba loo mvakalelo iyinyani na, hayi igama olisebenzisayo.
UkuFunda okuFanayo:Iindidi ezili-18 zokwabelana ngesondo kunye neentsingiselo zazo
Ngaba amadoda anokuba neentlobano zesini?
Ewe, kwaye kukho ubungqina obuqinileyo besayensi obuxhasa oku. Uphononongo luka-2020 olupapashwe kwi-PNAS (uJabbour et al.) badibanise idatha evela kwizifundo ezisibhozo zangaphambili ezibandakanya amadoda angama-474 ukuya kuma-588 angama-cisgender kulo lonke elase-US, e-UK, naseKhanada. Iziphumo bezicacile: amadoda aziwa ngokuba ngabesilisa nabesifazane abonise iipatheni zokuvuselela iimvakalelo zesini nezengqondo ezazibonakala ngathi zingabantu abathandana nabesilisa nabesifazane kunamadoda athandana nabesilisa nabasetyhini. Ukuthandana kwamadoda ngokwesondo kukho rhoqo. Kwamadoda asebenza ukuya kuthi ga kwi ndiyaphuma, ukwazi ukuba isayensi iyakuxhasa oko bakuvayo kunokuba yinto ebalulekileyo kakhulu.
Nangona kunjalo, ubungqingili bamadoda abusamkelwa kangako njengobungqingili bamabhinqa. Research Ibonisa rhoqo ukuba indlela abantu abajonga ngayo abafazi abathandana namabhinqa angatshatanga nabathandana namabhinqa angatshatanga ingcono kakhulu kunamadoda athandana namabhinqa angatshatanga okanye amadoda angatshatanga. Oku akungombhalo omncinci. Kubonisa ukuba amadoda angatshatanga azive ekhuselekile ngokwaneleyo na ukuba avume iimvakalelo zawo.
| Ngokweenombolo: Ubungqingili bamadoda Ama-55% nangaphezulu kwabantu abadala be-LGBT e-US bazibiza ngokuba ngabantu abathandana nesini esinye, nto leyo eyenza ukuba ibe lelona qela likhulu kuluntu (Gallup, 2023). Malunga ne-2% yamadoda eMelika azibiza ngokuba ngabantu abathandana nabesilisa nabasetyhini. Abaphandi bakholelwa ukuba eli nani lokwenyani liphezulu ngenxa yokudalulwa kwetyala (CDC, ingxelo ka-2016). Uphononongo lwe-PNAS lwango-2020 lwamadoda angama-474+ athanda isini luqinisekisile ukuba amadoda aziwa ngokuba ngabesilisa nabasetyhini abonisa iipatheni ezahlukeneyo nezilinganisekayo zokuvuseleleka, nto leyo emisela ukuba amadoda athanda abantu abathandana nabesilisa nabasetyhini athanda abantu abathandana nabesilisa nabasetyhini njengendlela eyaziwayo ngokwesayensi. Amadoda athandana nabantu besini esinye axela amazinga aphezulu okuxhalaba nokudakumba kunamadoda athandana nabantu besini esinye namadoda athandana nabantu besini esinye, oku kubangelwa kukungaziphathi kakuhle kwabantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye namadoda athandana nabantu besini esinye. |
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Ngaba ndingumntu othandana nabantu besini esinye? Iimpawu ezili-18 zokuba ngumntu othandana nabantu besini esinye
Kutheni Ukuthandana Kwamadoda Namadoda Ngamadoda Kusaqondwa Kakubi Kangaka?
Ukuzicima kabini kukutyekela ekungahoyi, ukungawunaki, okanye ukukhanyela ukuba yindoda okanye umfazi njengento efanelekileyo. Kumadoda, kuvela kwiindlela ezininzi ngaxeshanye. Eli nqaku lokuzicima kabini liyingozi kakhulu: ngenxa yesimo sengqondo soluntu kunye noloyiko, amanye amadoda acinezela iimvakalelo ezimbini kangangokuba zibonakala kuphela njengendoda okanye umfazi. ukungabikho kobudlelwane obusondeleyo ngokweemvakalelo kubudlelwane babo, ngaphandle kokuhlola isizathu. Ngokutsho kukaDeepak, ukuba ngamadoda athandana nabantu besini esinye kudla ngokunganakwa, ukwaliwa, okanye ukugcinwa kufihliwe ngenxa yezizathu ezintathu eziphambili:
- Ukucinywa kwentlalo: Uluntu lusawujonga umnqweno wamadoda wokuthandana nabantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye njengento elula yokuziqhelanisa nabantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye. Amadoda athandana nabantu besini esinye acinezelwa ukuba akhethe icala.
- Ukuzicima: Ngenxa yemeko yoluntu kunye noloyiko, amanye amadoda ayazicinezela ngokupheleleyo iimvakalelo zothando ukuze aphephe ukwenza ubudlelwane bawo bube nzima okanye ukuphazamisa ulindelo lwesintu malunga nomtshato.
- Ukucima imidiya: Amadoda athandana nabantu besini esinye ahlala ethathwa njengabantu abanyolukileyo, abanomdla wokwabelana ngesondo, okanye abangafuniyo ukuzibophelela. Ezi ziimpawu ezenza ukuba ukuthandana nabantu abathandana nabesilisa nabesifazane kubonakale ngathi akubonakali ngathi yinto eqhelekileyo kodwa kubonakale ngathi yinto eqhelekileyo yokuziphatha.
Isiphumo kukuba amadoda amaninzi aneempawu zokuba ngamadoda athandana nabantu besini esinye akaze azihlolisise ezo mvakalelo konke konke. Njengoko uDonald Weise ebhale kwingxelo yeLambda Literary: “Ngokuphathelele mna, ndandiyindoda ethandana nabantu besini esinye eyayitsaleleka kubafazi, kodwa andikaze ndithethe ngaloo nto ngenxa yokoyika ukuba ngumntu wangaphandle phakathi kwabantu bangaphandle.”
1. “Ungumntu othandana nabantu besini esinye kuphela kodwa awuvumi ukuba ungumntu othandana nabantu besini esinye”
Le mhlawumbi yeyona nto ixhaphakileyo amadoda ayivayo. Studies ibonisa ukuba abantu abathandana nabesilisa nabasetyhini, abathandana nabesilisa nabasetyhini, kunye nabantu abathandana nabesilisa nabasetyhini bakholelwa ukuba indoda ethanda abantu abathandana nabesilisa nabasetyhini itsaleleka ngakumbi kwamanye amadoda. Kodwa ukutsaleleka akusebenzi ngaloo ndlela. Indoda inokutsaleleka ngokwenene nangokungaguquguqukiyo kubantu besini esinye, ngaphandle kokuba oko kube sisiseko sokuziveza njengendoda ethanda abantu abathandana nabesilisa nabasetyhini. I-Kinsey Scale yaveza le ngongoma kwiminyaka engama-75 eyadlulayo. Ihlabathi alikafiki apho.
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Iimpawu zokuba indoda izenza ngathi ilungile
2. “Amadoda athandana nabantu besini esinye atsaleleka kubantu abangama-50/50”
“Abantu badla ngokucinga ukuba umtsalane abantu abathandana nabesilisa nabasetyhini uyafana, 50/50. Akunjalo,” utshilo uDeepak. Umlinganiselo wokutsala uyahluka kakhulu kumadoda angamadoda ahlukeneyo. Abanye baziva betsaleleke kakhulu kubafazi kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kumadoda. Abanye bathambekele kwelinye icala. Abanye batsaleleka ngakumbi kubantu abangengabo bobabini kunakwisini esinye. Ingcinga ye-50/50 yenye yezizathu zokuba amadoda azive enyanzelekile ukuba abonakalise ubu-bisexuality bawo, nto leyo edinisayo nengenamsebenzi.
UkuFunda okuFanayo:Iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zokuKhangela kunye nendlela yokuzibona
3. “Amadoda athandana nabantu besini esinye akanakuba nomfazi omnye”
Le ntsomi ivela kwingcamango yokuba amadoda amabini ahlala ehlukene phakathi kwamadoda kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo aya kuqhatha. “Umtshato womntu omnye awukho malunga nokuba umntu uthandana nabantu ababini okanye akunjalo. Kumalunga nokuba abantu ababini bazinikele kule ngcamango okanye akunjalo,” utshilo uDeepak. Enyanisweni, isifundo ifumanise ukuba amadoda athandana nabantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye ajongwa njengamaqabane angcono ixesha elide, anenkathalo ngakumbi, kwaye angcono ekwakheni ubudlelwane obulinganayo ngabafazi ababethandana nabo, abanye babo abathi abayi kubuyela ekuthandeni amadoda angatshatanga.
4. “Lixesha nje elibalulekileyo”
“Xa sijonga ubulili njengengxaki, kulula ukuyilahla njengesigaba,” utshilo uDeepak, “Kodwa ubulili abutshintshi. Uqala nje ukuqonda ngakumbi iinkalo ezahlukeneyo zobulili bakho ngokuhamba kwexesha.” Uphando luxhasa oku rhoqo: ubungqingili yindlela ezinzileyo nehlala ihleli, ayiyondlela yokuvavanya. Indlela efanayo yokungakhathali yangaphandle ibonakala kuyo yonke indawo yokubuza abantu, nokuba bayabuza na. Ingaba ndingumntu othandana nabanye abantu? okanye ndingumntu othanda abantu abathandanayo nabathandanayo. 'Isigaba' asisoloko sithetha ngomntu kwaye phantse sithetha ngokungakhululeki kwabantu abamngqongileyo.
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Ngaba Ngokwemvelo Sithandana Nomntu Omnye Okanye Sinyanzelwe Ukuba Sitshate?
5. “Indoda ethandana nabantu abathandana nabantu ababini ifuna indoda enabantu abathathu”
The assumption that bi men are sexually omnivorous and will hit on everyone is as unfair as it is untrue. Sexual preferences are individual regardless of orientation. Some bi men like threesomes. The two are unrelated.
6. "Indoda ethanda abantu abathandanayo nabesilisa nabesifazane ayingomntu obalulekileyo kulwalamano"
Oku kuyaphikiswa yinto efanayo uphando okukhankanyiweyo apha ngasentla. Amadoda athandana nabantu besini esinye kubudlelwane achazwe njengabathandanayo abalungileyo, ootata abakhathalayo, kunye namaqabane atyale imali. Ummeli wabantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye uLewis Oakley walibeka kakuhle eli nqaku ku Ezizimeleyo: 'Ndiyindoda ethanda abantu abathandana nabesilisa nabesifazane, ndifumene umfazi ondithandayo ngenxa yokuba ndingubani...ndingubungqina obuphilayo bokuba ukuthandana nendoda ethandana namadoda amabini kunokuphumelela.'
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Iiflegi ze-LGBTQ ezingama-21 kunye nentsingiselo yazo
Iimpawu ezili-13 zokuthandana kwabantu besini esinye namadoda
Ngenxa yokuba ukuthandana nabantu abathandana nabantu ababini okanye ngaphezulu akuveli ngendlela enye, ezi mpawu zenzelwe ukuqala ukucamngca, kungekhona uvavanyo lokupasa/lokungaphumeleli. Akukho mithetho ingqongqo malunga nokuba yintoni eyenza umntu abe nothando lwabantu ababini okanye ngaphezulu. Okubalulekileyo kukuba la mava avakala eyinyani na kuwe.
1. Iminqweno yakho ibonisa abantu besini esinye
“Jonga iingcinga zakho kunye noloyiko lwakho. Yintoni ekutsalayo kwaye yintoni oyisabayo?” utshilo uDeepak. Iingcinga zesondo kunye namaphupha adla ngokuba yeyona ndlela ingenazingcinga zokutsala, kuba zidlula izihluzo zentlalo ezikwenza ungaqiniseki.
Ukuba iingcinga zakho zihlala ziquka abantu besini esinye, nokuba bodwa okanye bebodwa, loo datha ifanele ukuqwalaselwa. “Umzimba awudideki. Uza kukuxelela into oyifunayo. Nika ingqalelo kwinto leyo. Musa ukumamela nje oko ingqondo yakho ikuxelela kona malunga nokuba inokuthetha ntoni,” wongeza.
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Ubomi bezesondo obuyiFantasy yam
2. Imbali yakho yephonografi ibonisa izinto ezinomdla kakhulu
“Jonga ukuba loluphi uhlobo lwephonografi olukubangela ukuba uluthande. Loluphi uhlobo lwephonografi oluthandayo? Luphawu oluhle, kodwa aluyompendulo eqinisekileyo yokuba ungumntu othanda abantu abathandanayo okanye akunjalo,” utshilo uDeepak. Ukuba ukhe wazibona ubukele umxholo obungalindelanga ukuba uthandeke, okanye ukuba isini sabantu ababandakanyekayo asibalulekanga kangako kuwe kune-dynamics. Oko kubalulekile ukuqaphela.
UDeepak uphakamisa isilumkiso esithi: “Kukho abantu abaninzi abathandana namabhinqa abathandana namabhinqa abathandana namabhinqa. Oko akuthethi ukuba bavukelwa ngamadoda athandana namabhinqa.” Umxholo kunye nepateni zibaluleke ngaphezu kwayo nayiphi na imeko.
3. Uthando lwakho olungeyonyani ludlula imida yesini
Xa ubukele umboniso, ifilimu, okanye ufunda incwadi, ngaba uzifumana utsaleleka kubalinganiswa nokuba bangoobani na? Oku kudla ngokuba yenye yeempawu zokuqala zokuba ngamadoda athanda abantu abathandanayo nabathandanayo, ngenxa yokuba ukutsaleleka okungeyonyani kuvakala kuphantsi kwaye kukhuselekile ukukuqonda kuneemvakalelo zehlabathi lokwenyani. Amadoda amaninzi athanda abantu abathandanayo afumana ingcinga yokuqala yokuba nomdla kubalinganiswa abanomdla abangenakukwazi ukuyichaza kakuhle.
UkuFunda okuFanayo:Ndingumntu othandana nabantu besini esinye: Umhlobo wam osenyongweni sisithandwa sam
4. Unxulumana nabalinganiswa ababini ngaphezu kokuba ubulindele
Mhlawumbi ukubona umlinganiswa ofana noLoki kaMarvel ephuma njengothanda abantu abathandanayo ngendlela eyahlukileyo kunokuba ubucinga. Okanye kukho umntu othanda abantu ababini kwincwadi, umboniso, okanye ubomi boluntu ozifumana utsala ngendlela evakala ngathi yeyakho. Loo nto ifanele ukuhlala nayo. Idla ngokuvela ngaphambi kokuba ilebheli ibonakale. Ukuba ufuna ukuphonononga ezinye zezi mbono, uluhlu lukaBonobology Iincwadi ze-LGBTQ ibandakanya izihloko ezijongana nobuntu bobungqingili ngendlela ecacileyo.
5. Iimvakalelo zakho ngomhlobo osenyongweni zikudida
Ukutsalela umhlobo osenyongweni ngamandla, okubonakala ngathi kungaphaya kokumncoma okanye uthando, yinto abantu abaninzi abayichaza njengeyona nto itshintshayo. Nantsi imibuzo uDeepak acebisa ukuba uzibuze yona:
- Ngaba unomdla wothando kulo mntu? Ngaba uzifumana ufuna ixesha lokuba nibe ngabantu ngabanye endaweni yokuchitha ixesha nikunye?
- Ngaba ziyavela kwiingcinga zakho zesondo?
- Ngaba uyoyika ukuba umntu afumanise ukuba ungubani? Okanye uyayiphepha loo mvakalelo ngokupheleleyo ukuze ukhusele ubuhlobo?
“Fear and avoidance are often the most telling signals. Being attracted to someone is 100% normal even if you don’t quite know what to do about it yet,”
—Deepak
UkuFunda okuFanayo:Iindlela ezi-5 zokuxelela umhlobo wakho osenyongweni ukuba uyathandana naye
6. Ungacinga ngolwalamano oluhlala ixesha elide nabantu besini esahlukileyo
Kwabaninzi amadoda amabini, ukutsaleleka akubhekiseli kakhulu kwisini kodwa kuxhomekeke kumntu ngamnye. Ukuba unokuzibona ngokwenene ukwibudlelwane obuzinikeleyo nabantu besini ngasinye, kungekhona njengento engacacanga kodwa njengento onokuyifuna ngokwenene, olo luphawu olunentsingiselo. Akuthethi ukuba utsaleleka ngokulinganayo kuzo zonke izini; kuthetha ukuba isini asikokuphula isivumelwano.
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Iimpawu Zokuba Ulungele Ubudlelwane Obukhethekileyo
7. Ukugxekwa ngabantu ababhinqileyo kukuchaphazela wena ngokwakho
Xa umntu esithi ubungqingili bamadoda abuyonyani, okanye ehleka, okanye ecebisa ukuba amadoda amabini adidekile: ngaba bufika ngendlela eyahlukileyo kunezinye iintlobo zobungqingili? Ngaba kuvakala ngathi kukuhlaselwa kuwe ngokukodwa, nokuba awukayilungisi ngokupheleleyo iimvakalelo zakho? UDeepak uqaphela ukuba ukuthatha ibala lokuba ngabangqingili ngokwako kudla ngokuba luphawu lokuqala lokuba kukho into efanelekileyo ukuyihlolisisa. Iimpendulo zokuzikhusela ekugxothweni kobungqingili azisoloko zimalunga nezopolitiko. Ngamanye amaxesha zimalunga nobuwena.
8. Uhlala uzibuza ukuba ngaba ungumntu othanda abantu abathandana nababini okanye ababini
“Musa ukuzama ukuzibeka kudidi oluthile. Qhubeka nobomi bakho kwaye umzimba wakho uza kukuxelela,” utshilo uDeepak. Oko kuthethiweyo, ukuba umbuzo uqhubeka uvela, ukwenza njalo ngesizathu esithile. Kukho into ewubangeleyo, nokuba ngumntu, amava, okanye umzuzu wokunyaniseka kuwe. Umbuzo ophindaphindayo ngokwawo luphawu olufanele ukuthathelwa ingqalelo nzulu. Kunjalo naxa uzifumana ubukele umntu kwaye uzibuza ukuba uziva njani. kunzulu kunokuba kubonakala. You don’t need a definitive answer today.
UkuFunda okuFanayo:Amanyathelo Asebenzisekayo Okujongana Nokudandatheka
9. Ukuthandana kwabantu besini esinye kuvakala kunomtsalane, kungekuphela nje ngokwengcamango
Kukho umahluko phakathi kokuqonda ububhanxa ngengqondo nokufumana le ngcinga inomtsalane ngokwenene ebomini bakho. Ukuba le ngcinga ivakala, ukuba uziva into ethile xa ucinga ngayo endaweni yokufuna nje ulwazi lwezemfundo, olo luhlobo olwahlukileyo lophawu. Ibonisa ukuvuleleka okunokuthi kukhokelele kwinto yokwenyani.
10. Ileyibhile ye-bi ivakala ilungile
“Ngamanye amaxesha, ngaphezu kwayo nayiphi na into ethile, ilebheli ye-bi ivakala ilungile kwabanye abantu,” utshilo uDeepak. Ukuba ubeka 'i-bisexual' ecaleni kwakho kwaye into ethile iyaphela, loo nto yindlela yokuzazi. Musa ukuvumela ingxolo yeengcinga ezingalunganga zigqume imvakalelo ebizama ukukuxelela into ethile. Le ilebheli sisixhobo omele uyisebenzise, hayi ibhokisi umntu anokuyifaka kuyo.
11. Uziva ukhululekile ngakumbi kwiindawo ze-LGBTQ+
Amadoda amaninzi achaza ukukhululeka okanye ukuba yinxalenye yabantu abakwiindawo ezinobuhlobo nabantu abangatshatanga ngaphambi kokuba babhale nantoni na. Ukuziva ukhululekile ngokungaqhelekanga, okanye uzive ufana nawe ngendlela engaqhelekanga, kwiindawo ze-LGBTQ+, kwisiganeko sePride, kwiqela labahlobo abangatshatanga, okanye kuluntu apho isondo singalawulwa khona, kudla ngokuba luphawu lokuqala lokuba indlela ocinga ngayo ayizinzanga njengoko ubucinga. Intuthuzelo idla ngokufika ngaphambi kokuba isigama sifike.
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Indlela Abantu be-LGBTQ+ Abanokungenelwa Ngayo Kunyango Olukwi-Intanethi
12. Umtsalane wakho ungowomntu kuqala, hayi isini kuqala
Amadoda amaninzi athanda abantu abathandanayo nabathandanayo achaza amava awo kungekhona ngokuthi 'nditsaleleka kumadoda nabafazi' kodwa ngokuthi 'nditsaleleka lo umntu.’ Isini sikhona kodwa asixhomekekanga. Amandla omntu, ingqondo, ubuntu, okanye ubukho bakhe bomzimba bubaluleke ngaphezu kodidi lwesini ahlala kulo. Inkcazo kaRobyn Ochs ibamba oku ngokuchanekileyo: ukutsaleleka kwisini esingaphezu kwesinye, kungekhona ngendlela efanayo, kwaye kungekhona kwinqanaba elifanayo. Ukuba iipateni zakho zokutsaleleka zihlala ziqala kumntu kunokuba ziqhutywa sisini, olo luphawu olubalulekileyo lokuba yindoda ethandana nabantu ababini okanye ngaphezulu.
UkuFunda okuFanayo:Isifundo sothando: Intsingiselo, Iintlobo, kunye nokufumana eyakho
13. Umtsalane wakho uyatshintsha okanye uyatshintsha ngokuhamba kwexesha
Amanye amadoda athandana nabantu besini esinye afumana into uluntu oluthandana nabantu besini esinye oluyibiza ngokuba yi-'bi-cycle,' oko kuthetha amaxesha apho ukutsaleleka kwisini esinye kuvakala kuqaqambile, kulandele ukutshintshela kwesinye. Oku akukokungazinzi okanye ukudideka. Yindlela eyaziwayo ngaphakathi kobuwena babantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye, ebhalwe kwiincwadi zoluntu nakuphando. Indlela ohamba ngayo ayitshintshi kuba ukutsaleleka kwakho kuyatshintshatshintsha; okutshintshayo bubunzulu bayo kunye nokugxila kwayo. Ukuphosisa ukutshintsha kwendalo kokungaqiniseki malunga nobuwena bakho sesinye sezizathu zokuba amadoda amaninzi achitha iminyaka ebuza into ebesoloko ihambelana.
UkuFunda okuFanayo: I-Yin kunye neYang ye-Sexuality Spectrum
Oko Ezi Zibonakaliso Zingathethiyo
Ukuqonda ezinye zezi zinto akukwenzi ngokuzenzekelayo ube ngumntu othandana nabantu besini esinye, kwaye oko kuchaza zombini iindlela. Ezi mpawu ziyimiqondiso, azingobungqina. Ibali elibonisa kakuhle ubunzima: indoda ethandana nomntu othandana nomntu owayetshatile nomfazi ngolonwabo Kangangeminyaka ibonisa indlela ubuwena, ukuziphatha, kunye nokuqonda izinto ezinokuhluka ngayo ngeendlela ezingavumelaniyo neelebhile ezilula. Nazi ezinye iingcaciso ezibalulekileyo:
- Ukuba namava abantu besini esifanayo akuthethi ukuba ungumntu onjani: Kukho umahluko omkhulu phakathi kokuziphatha kwabantu besini esifanayo kunye nomtsalane wokwenene nohlala uhleli kumadoda. Ukuthandana kwabantu besini esinye kufuna ukuba amadoda athandane nabantu besini esinye.
- Ukuthandana kwabantu besini esinye akuthethi ukuba kukho ukutsaleleka kwabantu bonke: Akunyanzelekanga ukuba utsaleleke kubo bonke abantu, okanye utsaleleke ngokulinganayo kubo bonke abantu besini. Uninzi lwamadoda athanda abantu ababini
- Ukuba kubudlelwane besini esinye okanye obuchaseneyo akuthethi ukuba uyazazi: Indoda ethandana nomntu othandana nomntu othandana nomntu othandana nomntu othandana nomntu ongatshatanga naye isathandana nomntu othandana nomntu othandana nomntu ongatshatanga naye. Isini seqabane lakho langoku asichazi ukuba uthandana nomntu onjani.
- Ukungakhululeki ngezihloko ze-LGBTQ+ kuphela akubonisi: I-Homophobia kunye ne-biphobia yangaphakathi zinokubangela iimvakalelo ezinzima, kodwa azizizo iimpawu ezithembekileyo zokuqhelana nabantu abathandana nabesilisa nabasetyhini ngokwazo.
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Iimpawu ezi-7 zeMpawu zoMyeni wakho ukuba uGay kunye neendlela ezi-5 onokumnceda ngazo
Icala Lempilo Yengqondo Lokubuza Ngobulili Bakho
Ukuba inkqubo yokubona iimpawu zokuba ngumntu othandana nabantu ababini okanye ngaphezulu kumadoda ivakala inzima, ayikuko ukuba uyenza gwenxa. Ngaphaya komsebenzi wokuzifumanisa, amadoda amabini ajongene nemibuzo esebenzayo, ukusuka ekufumaneni inkxaso eqinisekisa i-LGBTQ ukuya ekuziqhelaniseni. ii-apps zokuthandana ezenzelwe abantu abathandana nabantu abangaziwayoKodwa ubunzima beemvakalelo budla ngokuza kuqala. uphononongo olucwangcisiweyo olupapashwe kwiJenali yoPhando lwezeSondo ifumanise ukuba abantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye bafumana amazinga aphezulu okudakumba kunye nokuxhalaba kunabo bobabini abantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye kunye nabantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye/abathandana nabesilisa nabasetyhini. 2022 meta-uhlalutyo kwi Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica ziqinisekisile ezo ziphumo, ziphawula ukuba okwangoku akukho bungqina bokuba kukho umsantsa onciphayo.
Kutheni amadoda e-bi ebika amazinga aphezulu okuxhalaba kunye nokudakumba
Eyona nto iphambili ayikokuba ngumntu othanda abantu abathandanayo ngokwasebunyeni. Luxinzelelo lwabantu abambalwa, umthwalo ogqithisileyo wengqondo ovela ekuhambeni ngeenyawo ukubekwa ibala, ukucinywa, kunye nokucalulwa kwiindlela ezahlukeneyo ngaxeshanye. Amadoda amabini adla ngokufumana ukungafunwa kwiindawo ezithe ngqo kunye nokungakholelwa kwiindawo zabantu abathandana nabobulili obufanayo, okubangela ukuba bangabi namvakalelo yokuba bayinxalenye yazo zombini. Ukungabonakali yindlela yako yokwenzakala.
Research I-PubMed iqinisekisa ukuba abantu abathandana nabantu abathandanayo nabathandanayo bajongene nobungqina obuqinileyo bokwanda kokungalingani kwempilo yengqondo kunye nokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi, kuzo zonke iindlela zobuntu, ukutsaleleka, kunye nokuziphatha. Olu ayilophando lukhethekileyo; sesinye seziphumo eziphindaphindwayo kakhulu kuphando lwezempilo lwabantu abancinci ngokwesondo.
Indlela yokufumana inkxaso
Ukuthetha nomntu oqondayo amava athile okuzazi ukuba ungumntu othanda abantu abathandanayo nababini kwahlukile kakhulu kwingcebiso ngokubanzi. Nazi ezinye iindlela onokukhetha kuzo:
- Iingcali zonyango eziqinisekisa i-LGBTQ: Ingcali yezonyango yePsychology Today ikuvumela ukuba uhluze ngokwezakhono ze-LGBTQ+. Ingcali yezonyango eqinisekisayo ayizukubuza indlela ocinga ngayo okanye iyiphathe njengento ekufuneka isonjululwe.
- Iindawo ezijongene nemibini: IZiko leZixhobo zoBuntu obuBisexual (biresource.org) libonelela ngonxibelelwano, izixhobo, kunye nokubonakala
- Iphaneli yeengcebiso zeBonobology: Ukuba usebenza ngemibuzo malunga nobuntu bakho ngokwesondo kumxholo wobudlelwane, iingcali zeBonobology zinokukunceda
| Ingcebiso yePro: If you’re questioning your orientation and finding it harder than expected, that’s a normal response to carrying something alone. Reaching out to an LGBTQ-affirming professional isn’t a sign that something is wrong. It’s a practical step toward clarity. |
UkuFunda okuFanayo:Ubudlelwane beQueerplatonic: Yintoni kunye neempawu ezili-15 zokuba ukunye
Indlela Yokuthetha Ngobungqingili Bakho
Nokuba sele uyazi indlela oziva ngayo, ukuyithetha ngokuvakalayo yinto eyahlukileyo. Ukuziveza njengomntu othanda abantu abathandanayo, kumlingani, kumzali, okanye kumhlobo, kuzisa iingxaki zokwenene. Ezo ngxaki ziyahluka ngokuxhomekeke ekubeni uthetha nabani kwaye yintoni obeka emngciphekweni. Kubalulekile ukwazi ukuba ayingawo onke amadoda athanda abantu abathandanayo abafuna ukuba nomfazi omnye, kwaye imeko-bume yokuba ubudlelwane bunokuba njani ibanzi. Ukuqonda umahluko phakathi kobudlelwane be-polyamory kunye nobudlelwane obuvulekileyo inokunceda ekucaciseni ukuba loluphi uhlobo lolwalamano olusebenzayo kuwe ngaphambi kokuba uthethe.
“Kutheni ndingumntu othanda abantu abathandanayo nababini?” ngumbuzo obuzwa ngamadoda amaninzi kwasekuqaleni. Impendulo kaDeepak ingqalile: “Ungumntu othanda abantu abathandanayo nababini ngenxa yezizathu ezifanayo zokuba namehlo aluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka, amdaka, okanye amnyama. Ungumntu othanda abantu abathandanayo nababini ngenxa yesizathu esifanayo sokuba unempandla okanye uneenwele ezigobileyo, ezixineneyo nezikhazimlayo: Yibhayoloji.” Ukuba ugqiba ekubeni uza kuphuma na kwaye njani, kukho izinto ezimbalwa ekufuneka uzikhumbule:
- Seta iqonga: Khetha ixesha apho omnye umntu enesithuba sencoko yokwenene, kungekhona ixesha eliphazamisayo lemizuzu emihlanu
- Lungiselela uluhlu lweempendulo: Ayinguye wonke umntu oza kusabela ngendlela onethemba ngayo. Oko akuthethi ukuba wenze impazamo
- Nika abantu ixesha: Umntu okuthandayo usenokufuna ixesha lokuqwalasela oko umxelele kona. Ixesha alifani nokulahlwa
- Awunatyala mntu ukuba athethe: Ubuwena bakho bobulili bubobakho. Ukwabelana ngabo lukhetho, hayi uxanduva
Ukuxelela iqabane lakho ukuba ungumntu othanda abantu abathandanayo nabesilisa nabesifazane
Ukuba usebudlelwaneni kwaye uqalisa ukwamkela iimvakalelo zabantu abathandana nabobulili obufanayo, umbuzo wokuba uxelele iqabane lakho nini kwaye nokuba umele ulixelele na. Akukho mpendulo ichanekileyo, kodwa izinto ezimbalwa zihlala ziyinyani: ukunyaniseka kudla ngokwakha ukuthembana okungakumbi ekuhambeni kwexesha, kwaye ukuba nobudlelwane apho ubuwena bakho bubonakala bufihliweyo bubunzima obuqhubekayo ngokuhamba kwexesha.
Ukuba iqabane lakho liphendula ngomona okanye ngenkxalabo yokuba uza kufuna ukuba nomnye umntu, incoko ayithethi ngobudlelwane phakathi kwabantu abathandana nabesilisa nabesifazane. Ithetha ngokuthembana nokuzibophelela, okusebenza kuyo yonke into.
UkuFunda okuFanayo:Iindlela ezili-10 i-Queerphobia evela ngazo ngaphakathi endlwini
Ubuwena bobulili obufanayo kulwalamano oluchanekileyo
Amadoda amaninzi athandana nabantu abathandana nabantu abathandanayo akwibudlelwane bexesha elide nabafazi kwaye aphila, ngokwembonakalo, njengezibini ezithandanayo. Oku ngamanye amaxesha kubizwa ngokuba 'kukuhamba ngokuthe ngqo,' kwaye kuza nohlobo lwako lokucima. Ungaziva ngathi awunakuzibanga ukuba ungumntu othandana nabantu abathandanayo kuba 'awenzi nto ngayo.' Kodwa Ukuthandana nabantu abathandana nabesilisa nabesifazane yindlela yokuziqhelanisa, kungekhona indlela yokuziphatha. Indoda ethandana nomfazi omnye ayiyeki ukuba yindoda ethandana nabantu ababini kanye njengokuba indoda ethandana nabantu ababini kulwalamano olufanayo ingayeki ukuba yindoda ethandana nabantu ababini.
UkuFunda okuFanayo:Ndingumfazi othandana nabantu besini esinye otshatile nendoda
Indlela Yokuhlola Ubungqingili Bakho
Ukuba uqinisekile ngeemvakalelo zakho kodwa awuqinisekanga ukuba wenze ntoni ngazo, uDeepak uneendlela ezimbini ezisebenzayo. Ngaphambi kokuba uthethe ngazo, kubalulekile ukwazi ukuba ukuphonononga abantu abathandana nabesilisa nabasetyhini akuthethi ukuba kufuneka wenze into enomtsalane ngoko nangoko. Amanye amadoda afumanisa ukuba kufuneka aqale aqonde indlela avakalelwa ngayo xa ethelekiswa nezinye iinkalo zobuntu bawo, kuquka nokuba iinkalo zobuntu bawo zinjani. ubuni (apho ukutsaleleka kuvela kuphela emva konxibelelwano lweemvakalelo) kunegalelo kumava abo.
- Yiba ngaphambili malunga neengcebiso zakho: Ukuba uyazama okanye uyathandana, yazisa amaqabane akho angoku kunye nawe onokuba ngamaqabane apho ukhoyo. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ufumanise yonke into, kodwa ukungafihlisi kuthintela ingozi.
- Ziqhelanise nokuzamkela ngokupheleleyo: Lumkela amabali akwenza uzive ungumntu ophantsi okanye ohlazisayo kunokuba enjalo. Zama ukuzibona njengomntu onguye, kungekhona umntu ocinga ukuba ufanele ukuba nguye.
UkuFunda okuFanayo: Iindawo zokuthandana ezilungileyo zabantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye: Fumana umntu oza kutshata naye namhlanje
FAQs
Iimpawu ezixhaphakileyo ezixelwayo ziquka ukutsaleleka rhoqo kwimibono yabantu besini esinye, ukufumana ilebhile yomntu othandana nabantu besini esinye ivuselela iimvakalelo zakhe, ukuziva ubuhlungu ngenxa yokugxekwa ngabantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye, ukutsaleleka kubantu besini esinye ebomini bokwenyani, kunye nombuzo wangaphakathi ohlala uhleli wokuba ngaba uthandana nabantu besini esinye na. Akukho phawu lucacileyo. Ipateni kunye nokunyamezela kubaluleke ngaphezu kwanoma yintoni na.
Ewe. Ukuzifihla kabini, ukugxekwa ngaphakathi, kunye noxinzelelo loluntu lokuba ngumntu othe ngqo okanye othandana nabantu besini esinye kuthetha ukuba amadoda amaninzi awanalo ulwimi okanye ukhuseleko lokubona iimvakalelo zabantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye kangangeminyaka. Amava okufumana ubuwena babantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye kamva ebomini aqhelekile, ayilophawu lokuba olu qhelo lwaqala kade.
Ukuthandana kwabantu besini esinye kubandakanya ukutsaleleka kubantu besini esinye, isini siyinxalenye yendlela okutsaleleka ngayo. I-Pansexuality ichaza ukutsaleleka ebantwini nokuba bangobani na, apho isini singeyonto ibalulekileyo. Ezi zimbini ziyadibana kakhulu, kwaye amanye amadoda ayazifanisa zombini. Umbuzo obaluleke kakhulu kukuba leliphi igama, ukuba likho, elivakala liyinyani.
Ewe. AUphononongo luka-2020 kwi-PNAS bahlole amadoda angama-474 ukuya kuma-588 e-cisgender kwizifundo ezisibhozo zangaphambili baza bafumanisa ukuba amadoda aziwa ngokuba ngabesilisa nabesifazane abonisa iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuvuseleleka ngokwesini kunye neemvakalelo zomntu ngamnye ezihambelana nokuthanda abantu abathandana nabesilisa nabasetyhini. Iziphumo zichazwe ngabaphandi njengeziqinileyo kakhulu.
Hayi. Uninzi lwamadoda athandana nabantu ababini alunamdla ngokulinganayo kuzo zonke izini, kwaye uDeepak ucacisa ngale nto: “Akulula kangako.” Umlinganiselo wokutsalwa uyatshintsha, ukhetho luthambekele kwiindlela ezahlukeneyo kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo zobomi, kwaye akukho nanye kwezi nto ethintela ubuwena babantu abathandana nabesilisa nabasetyhini.
Ewe. Ubunikazi bomntu othandana nabantu besini esinye abuxhomekekanga kwindlela aziphethe ngayo okanye kwimeko yobudlelwane. Indoda etshatile ixesha elide nomntu othandana nabantu besini esinye inokuba nothando olufana nolwesibini. Isini somntu othandana naye ngoku asichazi ukuba uthandana nabantu besini esinye.
Ngokuyintloko kungenxa yokungakholelwa kumaqabane omabini kunye nokugxekwa. Amadoda abonakalisa ubuwena bamadoda athandana nabantu besini esinye asengozini yokuxelelwa ukuba adidekile, ayaxoka, okanye 'ayingobantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye' okanye angabantu abathe ngqo. Ixabiso lentlalo lokuba ngabathandana nabantu besini esinye liphezulu ngokwaneleyo kangangokuba amadoda amaninzi akufumanisa kulula ukuzicinezela iimvakalelo ngokupheleleyo kunokuba alandele amathandabuzo kuzo zonke iindlela.
Hayi. Uphando lubonisa rhoqo ukuba ukuthandana nabantu abathandana nabesilisa nabesifazane yindlela ezinzileyo nehlala ihleli. “Indlela yokuthandana nabesilisa nabesifazane ayitshintshi. Uqala nje ukuqonda ngakumbi iinkalo ezahlukeneyo zesini sakho ngokuhamba kwexesha,” utshilo uDeepak. Amadoda agqibela ngokuzichaza njengabantu abathandana nabesilisa nabasetyhini ayedla ngokuchongwa kabini ngexesha lokuqhelana nendlela abaziphatha ngayo, yindlela eyaqala ngayo intsomi 'yesigaba'.
Khetha ixesha apho nobabini ninesithuba sencoko yokwenene. Cacisa ngento eniyithethayo nento ongayiceliyo. Baqinisekise ukuba ukuba ngabahlobo abathandana nabesilisa nabesifazane akuthethi ukungoneliseki kulwalamano lwenu. Lindela ukuba badinga ixesha, kwaye uqonde ukuba impendulo yabo ixhomekeke kubo, hayi eyakho ukuyilungisa.
The Iziko leZibonelelo ngeeSexual yindawo elungileyo yokuqala. Iingcali zonyango eziqinisekisa i-LGBTQ (ezinokukhangelwa kwi-directory yePsychology Today) zibonelela ngenkxaso yobungcali. Iiforam zoluntu malunga ne-r/bisexual yeReddit nazo zisetyenziswa kakhulu njengendawo yokucubungula imibuzo ngexesha langempela.
Iingcinga Final
Ukwabelana ngesondo akuyonto ifanelekileyo kubo bonke. Yimephu yento oyifunayo, kwaye indlela oyifunda ngayo loo mephu ixhomekeke kuwe kwaye akukho mntu wumbi. Ukuba sele uzibonile iimpawu zokuthanda abantu abathandana nabesilisa nabasetyhini kumava akho, awudingi mvume yomntu ukuba uzithathele ingqalelo. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uziqonde zonke namhlanje.
Iimpawu ezikweli nqaku ziindawo zokuqala. Zenzelwe ukukunika umfanekiso ocacileyo wokuba ubungqingili bubonakala njani ngaphakathi, ususa iintsomi, ukucinywa, kunye nengxolo. Oko ukwenzayo ngaloo mfanekiso kukuwe ngokupheleleyo.
Iimuvi ezi-7 zeBollywood ezibonakalise uluntu lwe-LGBT ngendlela ecacileyo
Ubudoda obuyingozi kunye nocalucalulo phakathi kobuhlobo bamadoda
Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.
Ndingu mbimbi. Ndiyamthanda umfazi wam kunye nomzimba wabasetyhini ,isondo! Nam oko ndandineminyaka emalunga neyi-19 ndilalana ngomlomo namadoda uninzi lwawo ngamadoda atshatileyo. Ndivalelwe kuba andiziva ndidinga ukuphumela kwabanye. Akukho mntu unokuze akrokre ukuba im bi. Ukunyaniseka im ikakhulu i-cocksucker (ekhethiweyo) kuba ndiyakuthanda ukuyenza.
Andikholelwa ukuba akukho zimvo okwangoku. Inqaku elihle kakhulu kwaye ndiyakwazi 100% ukunxulumana nalo.
Kumbuzo 9 & 10 impendulo nguewe ovakalayo!