Yintoni iBenching Dating? Iimpawu kunye neendlela zokuyiphepha

Ngaba ukhe wadinwa kukwazi nje ukuba ubuyinketho kubo? Ewe, lo mntu ukugcine kwi-limbo kuphela ukuphula intliziyo yakho ibe ziingceba. Xa sicinga ngokuphathwa ngokweemvakalelo, sicinga ngebhentshi. Ukuthandana kwibhentshi kubi ngakumbi kunomoya ogcweleyo kuba uhlala uzama ukufumanisa ukuba kuya phi lonke ixesha. Sonke sibe nesabelo esilungileyo kwiibhentshi ezifana noMr Big kwiSex kunye neSixeko, abafuna wena kodwa abafuni ukuzinikela.

Kwezi bhentshi, ulukhetho nje, umntu abanokuza kuye xa ezinye iinketho zingaphumi.

Yintoni ibhentshi Dating?

Ukwazi ukubeka umntu ebhentshini intsingiselo, khawufane ucinge nawuphi na umdlalo weqela. Abadlali abalungileyo bakhutshwa ebaleni ngelixa abadlali abangabahle kangako behlaliswe ebhentshini. Ukuba abadlali abalungileyo bayaphuma okanye benze ukwenzakala, abadlali abahleli ebhentshini ekugqibeleni bayalifumana ithuba lokudlala. Le yimeko efanayo kwi-benching, kuphela ngezithako ezongeziweyo kwiresiphi enjengamathemba obuxoki, akukho kuzinikela, ukuphuka kwentliziyo, kwaye ungalibali, uzive ngathi usisidenge. Unokuba ulixhoba isiporho, ukutya, ukuloba ukuthandana kodwa ukwenza ibhentshi ukuthandana ngumdlalo omtsha webhola ngokupheleleyo onazo zonke izithako zokukujika ube ngongakhuselekanga, unxunguphalo xa uqaphela ukuba kwenziwe ntoni kuwe.

Ke, kuthetha ukuthini ukubeka umntu ebhentshini? Benching ukuthandana kuxa wena strung ngeenxa ixesha elide kungekho zithembiso ukuzibophelela.

Ukwi-limbo yobudlelwane apho bakubonisa ukuba banomdla, kuphela ngokwaneleyo ukuba bakugcine kwi-hook, njengabanye abaninzi. Xa beqala ukuphelelwa lukhetho bathatha isigqibo sokuba bafuna ukuqhubela phambili nawe okanye hayi. Ibhentshi ukuthandana kufana breadcrumbing, baphosa amasuntswana ingqalelo kwindlela yakho kuphela ukunika ithemba ngekamva elinokwenzeka. Ekugqibeleni, uyaqonda ukuba ubungowakhe backup.

KuJoanne, 27, intanethi yaba yinto entsha. Kulapho wadibana khona no-Alex owayesebenza njengonokontraka wethutyana. UJoanne wayenomdla omangalisayo umhla wokuqala kwaye walinda uAlex ukuba enze inyathelo elilandelayo. Emva kweveki u-Alex wamthumelela umyalezo, ecela uxolo ukuba kukho imeko engxamisekileyo yosapho. UJoanne waqhubeka ethetha naye yaye wayelinda uAlex ukuba aphendule kwimiyalezo yakhe, kodwa sihlandlo ngasinye wayenesizathu esitsha sokungafumaneki.

Wayefuna ukuyiqhawula loo nto naye kodwa uAlex wayenendlela yokuthetha yaye ngalo lonke ixesha ethetha naye wayemenza azive exabisekile. Nanini na uJoanne efuna ukudibana naye, wayexakekile. Wayeza kumbona kwi-intanethi kodwa yayingenguye lo wayethumele umyalezo u-Alex. Nanini na xa bencokola, akazange athethe ngaye. UJoanne wayecinga ukuba yonke le yayiyinxalenye yakhe edlala nzima ukuze afumane nokugcina intandabuzo. Ngamanye amaxesha, uAlex wayemthumelela imiyalezo ezinzulwini zobusuku aze ajike athethe thumela ngeposi. Olu lwalamano lwe-limbo kunye no-Alex lwaqhubeka kwiinyanga ze-4. Ngequbuliso waya MIA kwaye akazange akwazi ukuba kutheni, de wadibana naye kwi café efanayo babenomhla wabo wokuqala e. UJoanne waziva uqhathiwe kwaye wajongana naye, kuphela ukwazi ukuba intombazana yayingengomhla wakhe kodwa intombi yakhe kwiinyanga ezi-2 zokugqibela. Ngeli xesha uJoanne waqonda ukuba wayehlaliswa ebhentshini kwasekuqaleni.

Iimpawu ezi-8 zokuthandana kwebhentshi kufuneka uyazi

Khawufane ucinge ujonge ubudlelwane obunzulu kuphela ukwazi ukuba ubuyi-backup. Abantu bazibandakanya kwibhentshi yokuthandana kuba befuna into yokukhulisa i-ego yabo. Ukufumana ingqalelo kubantu abaninzi kwaye kufuneka ukhethe okanye ubakhabe kubonakala njengenyhweba kwaba babhentshi. Abantu abanjalo balandela umthetho omnye- ingqalelo encinci, akukho kuzinikela kunye nethemba eliphezulu.

Xa uhlaliswa ebhentshini, kunokuziva ngathi ukwi- ubudlelwane obunetyhefu. Oku kwanele ukuba bakugcine unamathele kubo ixesha elide. Oku ukutyhala-tsala ubudlelwane kunokukwenza uzive ngathi akufuneki ushiye ngaloo ndlela kulandele obu budlelwane bungenampilo. Nazi iimpawu ezi-8 ezibonisa ukuba ubekwe ebhentshini.

1. Konke okufumanayo zizithembiso

Kukangaphi bekwenza izizathu zokungakunika ixesha? ukurhoxisa umhla okanye ukuthumela umyalezo emva? Ngamanye amaxesha yinto yomsebenzi okanye ingxaki yosapho okanye umhlobo osweleyo. Kwaye kusoloko kukho isizathu sokuba, 'Bendigula kancinci' nto leyo eya kukwenza uzive unetyala lokubacaphukisa.

Bathembisa ukuba baphume ngomhla kunye nawe okanye bakufowunele kodwa phantse ayisoze yenzeke. Ufumana amathemba akho kwaye uqalise ukucinga izinto ezisentloko yakho, kodwa uphoxekile. Uhlala ulindele ukuba bazalisekise izithembiso zabo kodwa mangaphi amaxesha apho benyanisekile kuwe? 

2. Akukho mntu waziyo ngawe

Usenokuba sele umxelele umhlobo wakho osenyongweni ngalo mntu mtsha umbonayo. Kodwa bangaphi abahlobo bakhe abaziyo ngawe? Ingathi abayazi nokuba ukhona. Ukuba uye waqaphela ukuba iqabane lakho alize likumeme ukuba niphume nabahlobo bakhe okanye lide likuchazele kubo, oko kwanele ukuphakamisa isilumkiso. 

Ngaba bakha bakuxelela ngabahlobo babo baza bakuthembisa ukuba udibane nabo? Ngaba bakhe bacebisa izimvo zomhla kabini? Ukuba abahlobo babo abazi ukuba ukhona, kungenxa yokuba akafuni ukuba wazi okuninzi ngobomi babo bobuqu. Ngokucacileyo abakuthathi nzulu ngokwaneleyo ukuba bakwenze udibanise nenkampani yabo. Ewe, uhlaliswa ebhentshini.

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3. Awunakulindela nto kubo

Awunakuze ube nolindelo kumntu okuhlalise ebhentshini. Uyawafumana amathemba akho aphelile ngulomntu. Eyona nto imbi kukuba awukwazi nokuba uphambene ngayo. Aba bantu bebesemdlalweni ixesha elide kwaye bayakwazi ukujongana nomntu ofumana ithemba lakhe phezulu.

Bazifundile iindlela zakho kwaye bayayazi into oyilindele kubo. Bayazi kakuhle into abanokuyithetha ukuze bacacelwe ngoko nangoko. Lo mzuzu unomsindo kubo, baya kukuthatha uhambo lokutyala kwaye baya kugqiba banendlela yabo. Oku kunokukhokelela phambili iingxoxo zobudlelwane. 

4. Azifumaneki kuwe

Uhlala ubafowunela okanye ubathumelela imiyalezo, kwaye abanalo ixesha lokuphendula. Uziva ukhathazekile ngabo kwaye uqale obsessed phezu yona. Kusemva kweeyure ezininzi okanye mhlawumbi iintsuku abathi ekugqibeleni baphendule kuwe. Ngamanye amaxesha bade bafunde imiyalezo yakho kwaye balibale ukuyiphendula.

Sithembe, akukho mntu ukhe alibale ukuphendula umntu amkhathaleleyo. Abantu bahlala befumana kwaye bebenzela amaxesha abo babakhathalele ngokwenene. Kungenxa yokuba sele bejongana neqela labantu ngaxeshanye kwaye bebenokungawuhoyi umyalezo wakho kuba bebexakeke ngomnye umntu.

5. Bakwi-intanethi kodwa abathethi nawe

Uya kubabona kwi-intanethi iiyure kodwa ayinguwe lo bathumela imiyalezo. Ngenxa yokufuna ukwazi, unokubathumela imiyalezo kodwa ngokucacileyo abafuni kuphendula. Ugqiba kwakho ukuthumela imiyalezo kabini ukuze ubone ukuba bayasabela na kodwa awukabuyi. Luphawu olucacileyo lwebhentshi ukuthandana kuba baxakekile imiyalezo abanye. 

Xa uthetha ngayo zokusebenza zokuthandana, oku kwenzeka rhoqo kakhulu. Mhlawumbi xa bekruqukile kwaye ekugqibeleni begqibile ukuthumela abanye imiyalezo, baya kukhunjuzwa ukuba baphendule kuwe. Ungavuyi, kuba oku kuseluphawu lokubeka umntu ebhentshini. 

6. Ucinga ukuba badlala nzima ukuze bafumane

Ngequbuliso uya kubafumana bekunika yonke ingqalelo kwaye ngequbuliso baya kwenza konke kubanda kwaye bekude. Uya kuvakalelwa kukuba bakwenza oko kuba kunjalo ukudlala nzima ukufumana. Enyanisweni, basenokubotshelelwa ekunikeleni ingqalelo komnye umntu. Abantu badlala nzima ukuze bafumane kuphela kwiintsuku zokuqala zokuthandana, hayi lonke ixesha.

Ukuba ufumana ukuziphatha okunjalo okungaqhelekanga kusenzeka rhoqo, kufuneka ube nexhala. Ukuziphatha okunjalo okungapheliyo ngokucacileyo kuyiflegi ebomvu kwaye ayiyi kuphelela kakuhle kuwe. 

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7. Aziqondakali kakhulu

Usenokuba uyazazi izinto ezithile ngabo kodwa ngokwenene hlala phantsi ucingisise ngoku. Ngaba ngokwenene ubazi kakuhle? Ukuba kaninzi kubonakala ngathi amabali amaninzi awadibanisi okanye ahlala eveza izinto abangazange bazikhankanye kuwe ngaphambili, kukho imfihlakalo engeyiyo kubudlelwane bakho. 

Ukuba uqala ukuqonda ukuba ngenene awazi nto malunga nobomi babo bobuqu konke konke, oku kunokuba luphawu lokuba bathandana nawe. Usenokuzama umazi ngcono kodwa akenzi loo nzame ngakuwe. Mhlawumbi, uchukunyiswe kakhulu yinguqulelo ye-intanethi yabo kangangokuba awuzange ukwazi ukubona ubunyani babo. Ekuqaleni, indalo engaqondakaliyo inokuba nomtsalane kwaye inomtsalane, kodwa kamva, iya kukhetha ingqondo yakho. 

Abanye abantu basebenzisa le nto ingaqondakaliyo ukukugcina unamathele kubo ukuze ungabuzi imibuzo emininzi.

8. Zihlole

Ukuba ucinga ukuba ubekwe ebhentshini, lixesha lokuba uqiniseke. Babhalele ukuba ufuna ukuphumla ngomso okanye kule mpelaveki. Ukuba bathi, "Ewe, masidibane.", Ukhuselekile. Kodwa ukuba lo mntu uthi, “Andinakutsho ngokuqinisekileyo. Ndiza kukwazisa.”, kungenxa yokuba unezinye izibophelelo ezimenza angakwazi ukuvuma kuwe. Ngokuqinisekileyo akunjalo ukuthandana nawe kuphela.

Ukuba uqaphela iimpawu zokuba kukho umntu ohleli ebhentshini ethandana nawe, lixesha lokuba ulumkise iimvakalelo zakho kwaye uphonononge iimeko ngakumbi kunangaphambili. Awufuni ukukhokelwa kwindlela eya kwintliziyo ebuhlungu ngoko kufuneka uhlale ulumkile kwangaphambili. 

Iindlela Zokunqanda Ukuba Ibhentshi

Ukuba ungumntu oye wawela kumgibe wokuthandana kwibhentshi, kufuneka uhlale ujonge ezo flegi ezibomvu. Ukuwela emgibeni ukuthandana ebhentshini kulula kuba awukwazi usoloko ugwebe incwadi ukusuka cover yayo. Into onokuyenza kukujonga iimpawu kwaye ujike xa ixesha lilungile. Nazi ezinye iindlela zokuphepha ukuba ziibhentshi.

1. Lumkela iimpawu ezilumkisayo

Landela ingqiqo yakho yesithandathu xa ikuxelela ukuba ubaleke ngenye indlela. Intuition yakho ihlala yomelele ngakumbi kunokuba ucinga ukuba injalo. Umzuzu oziva ngathi umntu akanyanisekanga ngokupheleleyo kuwe, phuma kuloo ndawo. Ukuba unokuhoya iimvakalelo zakho zamathumbu, uyazi xa a umfana akakho kuwe. Mane unikele ingqalelo kwaye uqaphele ukuziphatha kwakhe kunye nendlela aphendula ngayo kuwe. 

2. Musa ukubonakalisa umdla kakhulu ekuqaleni

Abantu ebhentshini abo banokuba yi-backup elula kubo. Ukuba ubonisa ukuba unomdla kubo, baya kuvakalelwa kukuba uya kubasukela nokuba abakhange bakuhoye. Ukuthumelelana imiyalezo kwakamsinyane ngokuqinisekileyo akuyonto enye imithetho yokuthumela imiyalezo ngelixa uthandana. Ukuba uzenza ufumaneke rhoqo, baya kukuthabatha lula.

3. Thatha ulawulo

Musa ukunika i-bencher yakho ulawulo. Hlala uzimelele kwaye ubabonise ukuba awungomntu onokuqhatheka lula.

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4. Zazi ukuzixabisa kwakho

Ungaze uvumele nantoni na engakufanelanga. Yazi ukuba ufanele ukuhoywa kwaye ufanelwe ubudlelwane obuqhelekileyo / amava okuthandana. Ukuba unguye ukufihla ubudlelwane bakho kubahlobo bakhe, kukho into engahambi kakuhle. ngokuzithemba kwakho kwaye ucinge malunga neyona nto oyifunayo ebomini bakho. Suleqa umntu ongazifanelanga izinto ozifunayo ebomini bakho. 

5. Beka ebhentshini ngokubuyisela

Ukuba ufumana isivunguvungu sokuba kukho umntu othandana nawe, jika umdlalo kubo. Betha kumdlalo omnye abacinga ukuba banobuchule kuwo. Banike incasa yezabo iyeza. Yenza kanye loo nto bayenzayo kuwe kwaye ube nokuhleka kokugqibela. Oku kuya kwenzeka ngokuqinisekileyo menze akukhumbule. 

Kule mihla, ukubeka umntu ebhentshini kwi-disco, kwi-intanethi kunye nangemibhalo kuye kwaba yinto eqhelekileyo. Abanye abantu baye bafumanise ukuba bahlaliswe ebhentshini kuphela xa befumanisa ukuba lo mntu uhambe nomnye umntu. Ngelixa abanye, banembono engacacanga kwaye basaqhubekeka nayo kuba abanayo enye inketho ngelo xesha. Zazi ukuzixabisa kwakho kwaye ubuyele kumdlalo wokuthandana. Awunakuhlala ufumana iibhentshi zilinde ii-backups ezigqibeleleyo. Awusoze wazi, elandelayo inokuba yeyokwenyani.

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