Iimpawu ezingama-20 zokujonga kuMyeni

Ziziphi iimpawu omele uzijonge kumyeni? Ukuphendula lo mbuzo, a isifundo yayiqhutywa nguRichard A. Lippa. Uphando lwakhutshwa kwi-Intanethi ye-BBC, ethe ekugqibeleni yafikelela malunga ne-119,733 yamadoda kunye ne-98,462 yabasetyhini. Umsebenzi ubulula: khetha ezona mpawu zintathu ziphezulu ozijonga kwiqabane. Oku bekuphuma kuluhlu lweempawu ezingama-23 eziqhuba umdlalo ukusuka kubukrelekrele kunye nokukhuthala ukuya kwizakhono zobuzali kunye nomtsalane.

Iinketho eziphezulu zabasetyhini? Uburharha, ubukrelekrele, ukunyaniseka, ububele, kunye nemilinganiselo. Nangona kunjalo, kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuba inkangeleko entle, umtsalane wobuso, kunye nokufaneleka konke kwakuphezulu kuluhlu lwabasetyhini ngokunjalo. Okubangel’ umdla kukuba, imali, iwonga ekuhlaleni nokuba nempumelelo zonke zaziphambili kolo ludwe. Oku kufuna lo mbuzo: Ziziphi iimpawu zendoda elungileyo yokutshata? Simele singene nzulu kwimbono yomfazi ngeempawu zomyeni olungileyo.

Iimpawu ezingama-20 zokujonga kuMyeni

Ubomi bomtshato bahlukile kubudlelwane. Ukutshata nomntu kuthetha ukuvuka ecaleni kwakhe yonke imihla, kwaye ungavumeli i-monotony yayo yonke inciphise umzamo owenzayo kuwo. Ngaphezu koko, umtshato owomeleleyo luhambo ekwabelwana ngalo oludla ngokuthatha amashumi eminyaka kwaye ngamanye amaxesha unokuzisa imingeni ongakwaziyo nokuyiqonda.

Ekubeni uza kuchitha inxalenye ebhetele yobomi bakho nomyeni wakho oza kuba ngumyeni, ukuba neempawu zomyeni olungileyo kunokwenza olu hambo lube lololonwabo nolwaneliseko. Ngoko ke, nazi izinto ezingama-20 ezifanele zenziwe yindoda. Ezi azibekwanga ematyeni, kodwa ekuhambeni kwexesha ziya kuba luncedo kuwe ngoko ke kufuneka ubeke ingqalelo kwezi mpawu zithandekayo ngelixa ukhetha umyeni wakho wexesha elizayo:

1. Kulula ukuba naye

Usenokuba usoloko usiva izibini ezitshatileyo zithetha ngendlela abazenza ngayo “cofa,” isenzeko esisoloko sibalelwa kwi chemistry phakathi kwabantu ababini. Njengoko kuvakala kunqweneleka, akunyanzelekanga ukuba kube njalo. Enyanisweni, kufuneka uqiniseke ukuba:

• Ungasoloko usezinzwaneni zakho ngeenxa zonke kuye
• Sukuphuma ujonge kuye
• Zive ukhuselekile phambi kwakhe kwaye unokwabelana naye ngeemfihlo

Olunye lweempawu zomntu oza kuba ngumyeni kukuba ukwangumhlobo wakho osenyongweni. Unokuthetha naye ngayo nantoni na kwaye uqhule ngezinto ezahlukeneyo, kwaye xa izinto ziba nzima, kuya kufuneka ukwazi ukuhamba ngazo ngokulula. Ukwenza iinzame ezisebenzayo zokungajiki imilo emincinci ibe ngamadabi angenakoyiswa yenye yeempawu zendoda elungileyo ukutshata.

2 Unobubele novelwano

Uluhlu 'Into endiyifunayo kumyeni' luqulunqwe ngabaphandi kwiYunivesithi yaseGöttingen eJamani kunye ne-app yezempilo yabasetyhini iClue. I survey uphendule abantu abangaphezu kwe-64,000 kumazwe angama-180, ebabuza ukuba yintoni eyenza umyeni olungileyo - ukulinganisa kwiikhrayitheriya ezininzi, ukusuka kukhetho lwenkolo okanye lwezopolitiko ukuya kubude. Nazi iziphumo zovavanyo:

• Phantse i-90% yabasetyhini babeka ububele obuphezulu phakathi kweempawu ezinqwenelekayo
• Oku kulandelwe ngokusondeleyo yinkxaso kuma-86.5%.
• Ama-72.3% abasetyhini abeka ubukrelekrele njengomgangatho abawuthandayo endodeni

Unxibelelwano olusempilweni lusisiseko somtshato owonwabileyo. Yiyo loo nto uvelwano luphezulu kolu luhlu lweempawu onokuzijonga kumyeni. Ukuqonda ukuba unezidingo zakho ezizodwa njengomntu kwaye unobubele kwezo mfuno zezona mpawu zibalulekileyo a umyeni olungileyo kunye noyise.

Amadoda anesimo esihle ayikhathalele impilo-ntle yabantu abangabaziyo, abantwana, abantu abadala kunye nezilwanyana. Indoda ekuphethe kakuhle kodwa engahloniphi iweyitara kwindawo yokutyela okanye ekhaba inja yesitrato ayingomyeni. Ukuba utyisa izilwanyana ezilahlekileyo, uphisa kwisisa, okanye unobubele ngokubanzi kubantu abakufutshane naye, uye wafumana umvuzo kwisebe 'loyena myeni'.

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3. Ukuba uyakholelwa kumfazi omnye, kufuneka naye

Kakade ke, oko akuthethi ukuba ukuba nomfazi omnye kuphela kwendlela eya phambili. Monogamy yenye iimpawu ukukhangela umyeni kubantu abaxabisa ukwakha ngokwabo. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba u- umntu polyamorous okanye uziqhelanise nobudlelwane ngayo nayiphi na enye indlela, usenokuba ujonge into eyahlukileyo. Ukwaneliseka emtshatweni ngokupheleleyo kuxhomekeke ekufuneni izinto ezifanayo. Ngaphambi kokuba utshate nendoda yakho, yiba nencoko ende enenkcukacha kunye naye malunga neembono zakhe:

• Monogamy
• Polyamory
• Ukungathembeki

Okothusayo uphando ibonisa ukuba izibini zixokisana kathathu ngeveki. Ewe, oku kubandakanya ezinkulu njengokukopela kodwa kubonakala kungenabungozi ubuxoki obumhlophe njengokuthi "ngokuqinisekileyo ndiza kufika ekhaya ngexesha namhlanje". Ngoko ke, ukuba ungumfazi ongatshatanga okhangela iqabane eligqibeleleyo, yazi ukuba ukunganyaniseki kunye nokunqongophala kokuzibamba ngabona baphuli-mthetho.

4. Unoburharha

Kwi isifundo yaqhutywa nezibini ezitshatileyo ezingama-3 000 eziphuma kumazwe amahlanu, amadoda nabafazi bafunyaniswa bonwabile beneqabane elihlekisayo. Olu phawu kwaxelwa ukuba lubaluleke ngakumbi kulwaneliseko lomtshato lwabafazi kunamadoda. Uphando luthi, "Abatshatileyo banokuthatha uburharha njengophawu lokukhuthaza ukuhlekisa, ububele, ukuqonda kunye nokuthembeka - njengophawu lokuzibophelela."

Ngelixa ujonge iimpawu ezintle kwiqabane lakho, kufuneka uqiniseke ukuba elakhe ukuhlekisa ihambelana neyakho. Ukwabelana ngesondo, ubuhlanga, iziqhulo ezihlekisayo azikho mntu uhlekisayo. Vimba indoda ebomini bakho ukuba uyifumene isenza iziqhulo ezinje:

• “Umfazi wam ngowasekhitshini”
• “Umfazi wam nabahlobo bakhe basoloko behleba”
• "Abasetyhini banokukhohlisa i-orgasms, kodwa amadoda anokwenza umtshato wabo uphelele"

5. Yonke imihla sisifundo esitsha kuye

Olunye lweempawu ezintle onokuzijonga endodeni yi ukukhula ngokweemvakalelo ukufunda okuthile kuwo onke amathuba. Amathuba kukuba wena kunye nomyeni wakho wexesha elizayo nisebenza kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo okanye ninezakhono ezahlukeneyo ngokupheleleyo. Umtshato wakho unokudika kakhulu ukuba awukwazi ukwabelana ngamava akho ahlukeneyo omnye nomnye. Yiyo loo nto ukuzimisela ukufunda kuwe kunye nobuchule bokukhuthaza ziimpawu zomyeni ofanele uzijonge.

Indoda yakho inokukwazi ukwenza i-hummus emnandi, okanye usenokuba uyazi kakuhle imicimbi yangoku. Nokuba buyintoni na ubuchwephesha, nobabini kufuneka nikwazi ukwabelana nabanye kwaye niyonwabele inkqubo. Ukukwazi ukuba neengxoxo zezopolitiko kunye naye okanye ukuphikisana naye malunga nomlinganiselo ofanelekileyo weswekile kwikomityi yeti yindlela onokuthi unxibelelane ngayo ngokufanelekileyo kubudlelwane bakho bexesha elide.

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6. Ukwenza ube ngumntu ongcono

Xa sithandana, sisoloko sizabalazela ukuba ngcono kunathi. Xa sizabalazela ukuba ngcono kunathi, yonke into esingqongileyo iba ngcono. -Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist. Ukuba ulwalamano lwakho lukuvumela ukuba ukhule njengomntu kwaye aluyithinteli inkqubela yakho, ubeke isiseko sobudlelwane obuphilileyo.

Indoda ifanele imenzele ntoni umfazi wayo? Yiba ngumhlobo kuphuhliso lwakhe lobuqu. Usenokuba umazi kakuhle umntu oza kutshata naye kodwa ngaba ukwenza ufune ukuba ngumntu ongcono? Sithembe, abantu baba ngcono emva kokuthandana! Kubaluleke kakhulu ukubopha iqhina lobomi nendoda ezisa okona kulungileyo kuwe ngokuthi:

• Ukukhuthaza ukuba ucinezele imida yakho
• Ukuhlonipha imvakalelo yakho yamathumbu endaweni yokukwenzela izigqibo
• Ukuhlonipha indawo yakho / ixesha uwedwa

7. Akakuthinteli wena okanye ubudlelwane bakho

Awudingi iqabane elizisebenzelayo elikunika ixesha elinzima xa uqinisekisa ukuzimela kwakho. Ewe, amadoda amaninzi athanda ukubangqongqo kakhulu kubafazi bawo. Iminyaka yemeko yoosolusapho ibenza bangaboni kwiipatheni ezithile zokuziphatha eziyingxaki, ezinje,

• Ukufuna ukwazi apho ukhoyo ngamaxesha onke
• Ukulawula ukuba ngubani onokunxulumana naye okanye ongakwaziyo ukunxulumana naye
• Ukuthatha ilungelo labo lokuvuma okanye ukuchasa ukhetho lwakho lwempahla

Ngenkulungwane ye-21, iimpawu ze-20 zomntu olungileyo zibandakanya oku kukwazi ukukuphatha njengomntu olinganayo kunye neqabane ngokunyanisekileyo, kwaye kungekhona njengomntu ofunekayo ukukhusela okanye ukugcina kwihlabathi. Abasetyhini akufuneki baxelelwe ukuba mabenze ntoni na bangayenzi. Eyona nto yenza umyeni olungileyo kukukhuthaza ukuba uzame izinto ezintsha endaweni yokukubekela imiqathango. Ukuba uzama ukufumanisa ukuba ujonge ntoni kumyeni, fumana umntu othembela kuwe ngokwaneleyo ukuba akuvumele ukuba uzenzele izigqibo kwaye akaguquki ngokwaneleyo ukuze ulawule ubomi bakho. Uyalingana, hayi ipawn yakhe.

8. Ukulungele ukulalanisa xa kuyimfuneko

Ewe, uya kuphila ubomi obonwabisayo obuneenkumbulo ezimnandi. Kodwa nawe uya kuba nokungavisisani. Akunakwenzeka ukuba nobabini nibe kwiphepha elinye ubomi benu bonke. Usenokungena kwiimpikiswano ngenxa yeembono ezahlukeneyo. Iimpikiswano ziqhelekile, yaye ngandlel’ ithile, zide zibe yimfuneko. Nangona kunjalo, izinto ziya kuqala ukuhla ukuba uhlala elindele ukuba ulalanise.

Ukweyiseka kwelokuba akenzi nto iphosakeleyo ngokuqinisekileyo akuphakathi kweempawu ezintle kumfana ofanelekela ukuba ngumyeni. A ubudlelwane obuphilileyo ihlaba ikhwelo lokuba omabini amaqela alalane ngaxa lithile. Ke, nazi iimpawu zomyeni olungileyo:

• Ingqondo evulekileyo kunye nokuzimisela ukuthatha indlela ephakamileyo
• Ukuvuthwa ngokweemvakalelo kunye nonxibelelwano oluhle lokusombulula impixano esempilweni
• Ukukwazi ukuba neencoko ezinentsingiselo xa uziva uphantsi

Umqeqeshi wobudlelwane oqinisekisiweyo Shivangi Anil uyagxininisa, "Ukubona iimpawu zokungalingani, kufuneka sinikele ingqalelo apho amandla okwenza izigqibo alele khona. Kwaye ngesigqibo, andithethi izigqibo zemali okanye ezinkulu zodwa. Izigqibo malunga nendawo ohlala kuyo, into oyityayo, kunye nobabini eninxibelelana naye njengesibini. Ukungalingani kubambe amandla angalinganiyo apho umntu okwisikhundla esinamandla ngakumbi anganyanzelisa iimfuno zabo kunye neemfuno ezigqithiseleyo komnye umntu. amandla aguqukayo kusenokuvula indlela yokuxhatshazwa nogonyamelo.”

9 Ulungile ebhedini

Kuye kwakho iimeko ezingabalekiyo apho abafazi befumanisa ukuba abayeni babo banothando, inkathalo nokuqonda. Noko ke, abakavuyi ngokupheleleyo emtshatweni wabo kuba abayeni babo abakwazi abanelise ebhedini. Xa ucinga izinto omawuzijonge endodeni, ukuhambelana kwakho ngokwesondo njengesibini kufuneka ngokuqinisekileyo kufakwe kwinqaku.

• Unomdla kwaye uyayamkela iminqweno kunye neemfuno zakho zesini
• Utyhala imida yolonwabo kuwe
• Unokuthetha naye malunga noko ukhululekileyo kuko, kunye noko kukwenza wonwabe
• Uyakuqonda ukubaluleka kwemvume kwaye uyayixabisa

Sukuyithatha kancinci le, yenye yezona mpawu zibalulekileyo zomyeni olungileyo. Uphononongo lucebisa ukuba abasetyhini bayakopela kubudlelwane ukuze bongezelele, hayi ukubaphelisa. Studies Kwakhona kubonisa ukuba i-80% yabasetyhini bafake i-orgasm yabo ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo.

10. Unexabiso elifanayo njengawe

Ukuba nembono eyahlukileyo yinto enye kodwa ukuba iqabane lakho elinokubakho alibelani ngexabiso elifanayo njengawe, amathuba okuba umtshato wakho ujike ube yindawo yedabi. UPatty noJake babekunye iminyaka engaphezu kwemibini, kwaye nangona uJake wayengekawubuzi lo mbuzo, iimpawu wayefuna ukumtshata babekho bonke. Ngomhla wangoLwesihlanu ebusuku, uPatty wathetha ngesihloko sabantwana bexesha elizayo, ngendlela engaqhelekanga abangazange baxoxe ngayo.

Njengoko kwenzekayo, uJake wayefuna usapho olukhulu ngelixa uPatty wayethembele kubomi obungenamntwana. Oku kwahluka kwezimvo ekugqibeleni kwabenza bahlukana. Yiyo loo nto ukuxoxa ngemilinganiselo kubalulekile xa kuhlolwa iimpawu zomyeni wexesha elizayo. Kwimeko apho iqabane lakho linomohluko kumaxabiso, kufuneka uqinisekise ukuba lihlonipha ubuncinci apho umi khona. Ngoko ke, ukuba uhlola iimpawu zomyeni onokuthi ube ngumyeni, ukuhambelana kwemilinganiselo engundoqo yinto ebalulekileyo ebomini bokwenyani. La maxabiso angaquka:

• Iinkolelo zenkolo/zomoya
• Indlela yezemali
• Ukhetho lwendlela yokuphila (ukusela / ukutshaya / ukutshaya phezulu)
• Iimbono ngokuzibophelela kunye nokuthembeka
• Imibono ngekamva kunye nosapho

11. Ujonge phambili ekwenzeni izinto ezintsha nawe

Awunakulindela ukuba umyeni wakho azokumangalisa ngemisebenzi emitsha yonke imihla, kodwa kufuneka abe novuyo lokuzama izinto ezintsha nawe. Inokuba ncinci njengokuzama indawo yokutyela entsha ebonelela ngokutya kwamaTshayina okanye ibe nkulu njengokuhamba ngeparagliding. Omnye wakho obalulekileyo kufuneka ajonge phambili ekuzameni nasekujongeni amava amatsha kunye nawe.

Yiyo loo nto umnqweno wokuphila uphakathi kweempawu omele uzijonge kumyeni. Ngaphandle kwayo, i monotony yobomi bomtshato inokukhawuleza ithathe intlawulo yayo. Ukuba uyazibuza ukuba ungayichaza njani indoda engcono, "Umntu onokuhlola ihlabathi" yindawo efanelekileyo yokuqala. Kwaye kwakhona, umntu otyalwe imali ehlala ejonga indlela yokuba ngumyeni olungileyo.

12 Unokunxibelelana naye ngayo yonke into

Usenokuba ucatshukiswa liqabane lakho, ukanti uyazi ukuba unokuthetha nalo ngezinto ezikukhathazayo. Ngoko, unxibelelwano olukhulu yaye ukwamkeleka ziimpawu zeqabane elilungileyo emtshatweni. Ukuba indoda yakho iyindoda elungileyo, uya kukwazi ukuthetha naye malunga nemiba enzima kwaye ungoyiki ukuphendula kwakhe. Uyakumamela kwaye alungise iingxaki zakho endaweni yokuvakalisa ukuba ingxoxo yakho ayisebenzi.

Ngenxa yoko, ubuchule bokuphulaphula kakuhle lolunye lweempawu ezingenakuxoxiswa zomyeni olungileyo. A isifundo eyenziwa nguFaye Doell ibonise ukuba kukho iindidi ezimbini ezahlukeneyo zokuphulaphula: "ukuphulaphula ukuqonda" kunye "nokuphulaphula ukuphendula". Abo “baphulaphula ukuze baqonde” banolwaneliseko olukhulu kulwalamano lwabo nabanye abantu kunabanye. Ngelixa abantu becinga ukuba baphulaphule ukuze baqonde, eyona nto bayenzayo kukulinda ukuphendula.

13. Uyazixabisa iimpawu zakho ezintle yaye uyazamkela ezimbi

Mntu ngamnye uneziphene. Kufuneka nje ukhangele umntu ofanelekileyo onokuhlala kunye neziphene zakho kunye nawe, zabo. Umyeni ofanelekileyo unokukuxabisa ngazo zonke iimpawu zakho ezintle kodwa uya kuzamkela ezimbi zakho. Ke, ngokuqinisekileyo uyimpahla yomyeni ukuba akenzi:

• Uyakugxeka xa wenze iimpazamo
• Bakujongele phantsi ngalo lonke ixesha unexhala
• Cela ukuba utshintshe ukuba ungubani na kusembindini wakho

Akayi kukuthanda kancinane ngenxa yokuba ungayigcini icocekile ikhabhathi yakho okanye ngenxa yokuba usoloko ufika emva kwexesha, kodwa uya kukunceda ube ngumntu ongcono kunawe ukuze kungenelwe wena. Ukuba akucacanga ukuba zeziphi iimpawu ekufuneka umyeni abe nazo, gcina umonde nonyamezelo luphezulu kuluhlu lwakho.

14. Akasoloko efuna “ukuphumelela”

Ayilophawu olunye kuphela omele ulujonge kumyeni kodwa kulo lonke ulwalamano oluchulumancisayo eluthandweni. Akukho nto iphikayo into yokuba iingxabano kunye neengxabano azinakuphepheka kulo naluphi na ulwalamano. Isibini esiqolileyo siyakwazi ukulungisa iingxaki nokuzilungisa endaweni yokuba:

• Ukutshintsha ityala
• Ukukhanyisa ngegesi
• Ukwenziwa ngamatye

Umyeni oqolileyo ngokweemvakalelo/onoxanduva uya kukulungela ukusombulula imiba kwaye angaqhubeki nengxabano ukuze nje ayiphumelele nangayiphi na indlela. Kwelinye icala, i-narcissist okanye iqabane elinetyhefu liya kuzama ukukuthoba ngokukudimaza, likubeke ityala, kwaye likubone ungenakukwazi. Awufuni olo hlobo lwe-negativity / vibe embi emtshatweni wakho. Ngenxa yoko, iimpawu zomyeni kufuneka zibandakanye izakhono zokucombulula iingxaki, endaweni yesidingo sokuphumelela kuzo zonke iindleko.

15. Uyayixhasa iminqweno yakho

Ziziphi iimpawu zendoda elungileyo yokutshata? Ufuna umntu oxhasa izigqibo zakho kwaye ume ngakuwe. Nangona oku kunokubonakala ngathi kunikezelwe, ngelishwa, ngaphandle kwamaxesha enkqubela phambili esiphila kuwo, amadoda amaninzi asalindele ukuba abafazi bawo badlale umdlalo wesibini emtshatweni. Umzekelo, kwimitshato emininzi, enye ye iimpawu zomfazi ezifanelekileyo kukuncama umsebenzi wakhe emva komntwana ukuba iimeko zifuna. Nangona kunjalo, oku akusebenzi ngokuyimfuneko kwixesha langoku.

Umyeni wakho onokuba ngumyeni kufuneka abe nomdla malunga nezinto ozinqwenelayo kwaye enze konke okusemandleni akhe ukukunceda ukuba uzilandele. Fumana indoda eyokuphakamisayo endaweni yokukuthoba. Olunye lweempawu ezithandekayo zomyeni wexesha elizayo kukuba uye abe ngumcebisi wakho omkhulu kwaye akutyhale ukuba ulandele amaphupha akho kunye neenjongo.

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16 Iimpawu omele uzijonge endodeni: Uluphatha kakuhle usapho lwakho

Umtshato ovuyisayo awulomanyano nje lwabantu ababini kodwa kwaneentsapho ezimbini. Iqabane lakho alinangxaki yokubonisa uthando kuwe, kodwa ukuba yena ayiluphathi usapho lwakho indlela abafanele ukuphathwa ngayo, akanguye ofanelekileyo kuwe. Yenye yeempawu ofanele uzijonge kumyeni ezingahoywanga kangako ngabantu, nto leyo ekhokelela kwingxabano nengqumbo. Ukuphepha ukuchitha ixesha nosapho lwakho, ukubiza ngamagama, ukuxambulisana nabo, kunye nokungabahloneli ngokubanzi ngalo lonke ithuba ngomnye umqondiso wendoda engekakhuli, enobutshaba. Umyeni onembopheleleko akayi kukuthanda aze akuhlonele nje kuphela kodwa nentsapho yakho.

17. Akaxhomekekanga ngokupheleleyo kuwe

Emtshatweni, amaqabane aqala ukuxhomekeka omnye komnye kwizinto ezininzi. Lulo nje ucwangco lwendalo lwezinto. Nangona kunjalo, kukho umahluko phakathi kobudlelwane obuxhomekeke omnye komnye kunye nokuxhomekeka. Ngelixa eyangaphambili isempilweni, le yokugqibela luphawu lwetyhefu. Kuyacaca ukuba udinga iqabane elingathembeli kuwe ukusa kwinqanaba lokuba ubuwena buncitshiswe ekubeni ngumkhathaleli wakhe ongapheliyo.

Kufuneka ukhangele umyeni okwaziyo ukuphila ngaphandle kokuba ube around 24/7. Kufuneka akwazi ukulawula imisebenzi yakhe yedwa, endaweni yokuba a umyeni livila. Kufuneka akwazi uku:

• Pheka ukutya xa uxakekile
• Pakisha iibhegi zakhe kuhambo lomsebenzi
• Uthwale iimbopheleleko zakhe njengomzali

18. Uyakukhuthaza ukuba ube nobomi obungaphandle kobudlelwane bakho

Umyeni ofanelekileyo uya kuqonda ukuba ubomi bakho abusoloko bujikeleza emtshatweni wakho. Ukuthetha ngendawo enempilo kubudlelwane, isazi sezengqondo UJaseena Backer uthi, "Le ndawo kufuneka ikhululeke ngokwaneleyo kumaqabane kwaye ingabi nkulu ngokwaneleyo ekungeneni komntu wesithathu." 

Indawo kubudlelwane ayilophawu olubi yaye umyeni olungileyo uyakwazi ukukuqonda oko. Ziziphi iimpawu afanele abe nazo umyeni? Ukukwazi ukuqaphela ukuba ungumntu ozimeleyo oneemfuno zakho, izinto ozithandayo, kunye nangazithandiyo kufuneka ngokuqinisekileyo wenze ukusikwa. Ke, imisebenzi yomyeni olungileyo kukukhuthaza ukuba:

• Thatha imisebenzi emitsha
• Hlala nabahlobo bakho
• Chitha ixesha nawe
• Zama izinto ezintsha ngaphandle kwakhe

19. Uvumela ukuba abe sengozini kunye nawe

Ingcaphephe yobudlelwane Ridhi Golechha Ithi, “Amadoda namabhinqa ahlangabezana neentlungu ngokwahlukileyo. Amadoda agqibela ngokuyicinezela intlungu yawo engokweemvakalelo, nto leyo eyenza ibe qatha ngakumbi. Anxiba isigqubuthelo somgunyathi senkalipho yaye akakwazi kufumana uvelwano umntu obonakala esichengeni anokulufumana. Kwakhona, amadoda asebenzisa amanye amajelo ukuze alathise intlungu yawo (njengomsindo, impindezelo, ugonyamelo, okanye ukuxhatshazwa emzimbeni).

Amadoda adla ngokusokola ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo. Ukuba ufumana umntu ongoyikiyo ukuyekelela, ekuvumela ukuba ubone ubuthathaka bakhe, yibale phakathi kweempawu zomyeni olungileyo. Mtshate ukuba:

• Uthatha amanyathelo okuvulela isifuba kuwe
• Akudingi bungqina bokuba unamandla kangakanani / macho
• Uchitha ixesha elisemgangathweni, apho abonisa icala lakhe elisengozini

20. Ujonge phambili ekuqaliseni ubomi kunye nawe

Ukuba ngumyeni akuyokomityi yeti yomntu wonke. Ngoko ke, ukuba akazimiselanga ngokwenene ukutshata yaye ukwenza oko ngenxa yoxinzelelo okanye imvakalelo yokuziva ebophelelekile, ulwalamano lwenu luye lwantlitheka ngokukhawuleza ngokwaneleyo. A indoda efuna ngokwenene ukutshata uya kuyazi kwasekuqaleni.

Usenokuyithatha kancinane, kodwa ngokuthe ngcembe uya kuyenza icace kakhulu. Nangona ekucela ukuba ulinde ngelixa efikelela kwisikhundla esithile kumsebenzi okanye ufumana imali ethile, uya kugcina inqanaba lokuzinikela nangona kunjalo. Lo mnqweno wokukubona kunye naye kwixesha elizayo ngaphandle kokuba uqikelele okanye uzibuze malunga nokuba ubuhlobo bakho busingise phi luphawu oluhle olubonisa ukuba ungumyeni wakho.

Umtshato, ekupheleni kosuku, ungaphezulu kokuthandana. Xa usenza isibhambathiso sokuchitha ubomi bakho bonke nomntu, uya kufuna okungaphezulu kunothando nje ukuze ukwazi ukuhamba kumanzi amdaka oza kuhlangana nawo. Xa uye waphawula uninzi lweempawu onokuzijonga kumyeni kwaye wazi ukuba iqabane lakho liya kukuxhasa kuyo yonke le minyaka, amanzi amdaka afumana lula kakhulu ukubheqa.

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Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.