Iimpawu ezili-16 zokuba awuthandeki kwaye ungaziphucula njani

Ngaba uhlala uzifumana usiba ngumhlobo, okanye ubona abantu bexhwithana kubahlobo bakho ngelixa wena ungabonwa? Ukuba ewe, kunokwenzeka ukuba ubonise iimpawu zokungathandeki, kungekhona ngembonakalo yomzimba kodwa iimpawu zobuntu ngokunjalo. Ukuyiqonda ngcono le nto, siye sathetha noGqirha wengqondo oseCarlifonia kunye neCognitive Behavior Therapist, UGqr. Shefali Batra (MD kwi-psychiatry), ojongene nokucebisa ngokuhlukana kunye noqhawulo-mtshato, ukuhlukana kunye nokuthandana, kunye nemiba yokuhambelana ngaphambi komtshato. Nazi iimpawu ezili-16 zokuba awuthandeki ngokwengcali.

Iimpawu ezili-16 zokuthi Awuthandeki - Lungisa ezi Ngoku

Ngaba ukhe uzibuze, "Ngaba ndimbi?" Xa uziva ungathandeki, kunzima ukuxelela ukuba ngokwenene uyindoda engathandekiyo okanye ibhinqa elingathandekiyo okanye kufuneka nje yakha ukuzithemba kwakho. Ewe, nazi iimpawu ezili-16 zokuba umbi okanye awuthandeki - kwaye ungenza ntoni ngazo.

1. Ukuphepha ukubajonga emehlweni

Ukuba uqaphela ukuba abantu bahlala bephepha ukujongana nawe kwamehlo, kwaye kungekhona ngendlela ekhohlakeleyo kodwa engathandekiyo, ngoko ke amathuba okuba awuqinisekanga kwaye ugweme ukudibana kwamehlo ngenxa yokuba uziva ungathandeki. UGqr. Batra uthi, “Ukuzithemba ngundoqo ekubeni ube nomtsalane yaye ngaphandle kwayo akukho sinxibo okanye isinxibo esinokukwenza ube mhle.”

Indlela yokuphucula

Inyathelo lokuqala lokuphucula kukwamkela umba. Ukuba ucinga ukuba unayo ukuzijongela phantsi, Nazi ezinye iindlela zokujonga ukuzithemba:

• Mjonge emehlweni
• Gcina ukuma okuthe tye, musa ukutyibilika
• uncumo
• Kuphephe ukuphutha-phutha

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2. Awubonwa emathekweni

Ngaba awubonakali kumatheko okanye kuyo nayiphi na imicimbi yolonwabo? Isenokuba ngenxa yokuba awunayo inkalo eyodwa yokubamba iliso lomntu, ikwenza ube yindoda engathandekiyo okanye ibhinqa elingathandekiyo. Isinxibo sakho kunye nesitayile sisonke siyinto eqhelekileyo kwaye mhlawumbi iincoko zakho azinamdla kangako ukwenza ugqame.

Indlela yokuphucula

Iqhinga lokuma phakathi kwesihlwele kukongeza into ethi 'wena' - into ekhethekileyo kuwe. Oku kunokuba:

• Isitayile sokunxiba se-eye-caching
• Uburharha okanye umdla ukuqala incoko
• Ukubonisa isakhono esifana nokudlala isixhobo okanye into elula njengokusombulula ityhubhu yerubik

3. "Unobuntu obukhulu" kukuncoma okuqhelekileyo okufumanayo

Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba uzibuza, "Ngaba ndimbi?", Nikelani ingqalelo ukuba luhlobo luni lokuncoma olufumanayo. Ungandivi kakubi, ukufumana izincomo ngobuntu bakho kukhulu. Nangona kunjalo, nje igeneric "Unobuntu obuhle" yikhowudi ethi "Ubuntu bakho bugqwesa inkangeleko yakho."

Indlela yokuphucula

UGqr. Batra uthi: “Ukuba nomtsalane akuthethi nje ukuba nehourglass kuphela, kodwa zininzi iinguqulelo ezincinane onokuzenza ukuze ube nenkangeleko entle.” Nazi ezinye izinto onokuzama ukubamba amehlo amaninzi:

• Hlanganisa isimbo sakho
• Zama ukucheba esitsha
• Jonga izixhobo ezitsha ezifana nezacholo, iibhegi, njl.

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4. Abantu bayakuphepha ukuhlala kufutshane nawe kwizithuthi zikawonke-wonke

Ukuba abantu bahlala bekuphepha ukuhlala nawe okanye ukuqalisa incoko nawe, mhlawumbi unobuso obuphumlileyo okanye ulwimi lomzimba olungaphazamisi, lukhupha isandi esinomsindo. Oku kungenxa yeempawu zobuso ezingathandekiyo, ezifana namehlo athobileyo okanye imilebe eshwabeneyo, kwaye ivaliwe. impawu zomzimba.

Indlela yokuphucula

Ukuze ube nomtsalane kwaye uthandeke ngokubanzi, kubalulekile ukuba ubonakale ufikeleleka. Ukuba ukhangeleka ngathi ukwimo embi, ngokwemvelo abantu baya kuzama ukukuphepha. Nanga amanye amacebiso okujongeka ufikeleleka ngakumbi:

• Kuphephe ukuwela iingalo okanye ukugcina izandla zakho epokothweni
• Musa ukutshiza
• Musa ukuba nee-headphones ngalo lonke ixesha
• uncumo
• Jongana namehlo xa kufanelekile (Kodwa sukujonga nje abantu ongabaziyo)

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5. Awufumani imatshisi kwi ukuthandana apps

Ukuba i-app yakho yokuthandana ifumana i-tumbleweeds ngaphezulu kunematshisi, inokuba yenye yeempawu ezili-16 awunamtsalane, okanye ubuncinci iprofayile yakho. Ugqibele nini ukuhlaziya i-bio yakho kunye ne-profile pic yakho?

Indlela yokuphucula

UGqr. Batra uthi, “Ukwenza iprofayile elungileyo kwi-intanethi sisakhono asinguye wonke umntu. Kukho ulwandle olubanzi lwabasebenzisi phaya kwaye kufuneka ugqame ukuba ufuna umntu ahambelane nawe. ” Nanga amanye amacebiso ngendlela yokuphucula iprofayile yakho yokuthandana:

• Cofa imifanekiso eneengile zakho ezilungileyo kwaye wongeze kwiprofayile
• Gcwalisa iinkcukacha ezithe ngqo malunga nawe kwiprofayile kwaye hayi nje ucaphulo oluqhelekileyo
• Sebenzisa imibuzo okanye izikhokelo ukwenza iprofayile yakho ibe nomdla ngakumbi

6. Awubuzwa ukuba wenze iiselfies

Ukuba awuqinisekanga ukuba wazi njani ukuba umbi, jonga ukuba ngaba abantu baqala ukuthatha iifoto zakho okanye iifoto kunye nawe. Ukuba abantu abakuceli ukuba ube kwiifoto zabo okanye, xa besenza njalo, uhlala uzifihla ngasemva kwiifoto zeqela, inokuba yimiqondiso ye-16 ukuba awuthandeki okanye ubuncinci ujonge kwimifanekiso. Isenokuba ngumba wokuzijongela phantsi, nto leyo ekuthintela ekubeni ube semkhankasweni. Nokuba yiloo nto, okanye ufuna nje abahlobo abangcono ebomini bakho.

Indlela yokuphucula

Nokuba umhle kangakanani okanye unomdla kangakanani kubuntu bakho, ngaphandle kokuba ubonisa iimpawu zokuzithemba awuyi kuphuma unomtsalane kubomi bokwenyani okanye kwimifanekiso. Abanye abantu ngokwemvelo bangaphezulu kwe-photogenic kunabanye. Kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba awukwazi ukuphucula izakhono zakho zokuthatha i-selfie. Nanga amanye amacebiso aluncedo:

• Zama ngeeengile ezahlukeneyo ukuze ubone ukuba yintoni ekufanelekela ngcono
• Ziqhelise uncumo lwakho ukuze ungabi nobuso obuphumlileyo emfanekisweni
• Jonga ezinye iiposes eziphucula uhlobo lomzimba wakho
• Zama ukuba yindalo kwimifanekiso

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7. Awufumani ncomo kwinkangeleko yakho

Ukwazi njani ukuba umbi? Impahla yakho okanye inkangeleko yakho ayinconywa. Isenokuba ngenxa yokuba ziphindaphinda kakhulu okanye zisisiseko kakhulu ukutsala umfazi okanye indoda. UGqr. Batra uthi, “Indlela ozinxiba ngayo inegalelo elikhulu kwindlela abantu abakujonga ngayo.”

Indlela yokuphucula

Ukutshintsha isimbo sakho akuthethi nje ukuthenga iimpahla ezintsha, nto leyo engenzekiyo ngamaxesha onke ukuba uhlahlo lwabiwo-mali. Nazi ezinye iindlela onokuphucula isimbo sakho:

• Khangela into ebonakala ilungile kuhlobo lomzimba wakho
• Zama ukudibanisa kunye nokuthelekisa iziqwenga ezahlukeneyo ukwenza iimpahla ezininzi
• Yongeza izixhobo ezinemibala - isikhafu okanye ibhegi inokwenza imimangaliso

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8. Abantu bahleka iziqhulo zabahlobo bakho ngaphezu kwakho

Isifundo kwi IYunivesithi yaseTexas eAustin wafumanisa ukuba zombini izini zidla ngokuqalisa uburharha, ziphendule ngendlela eyakhayo ngakumbi, kwaye zicingele omnye umntu njengomntu ohlekisayo xa eqala ukutsaleleka kuloo mntu. Kwi-flip side, ikwangumbono oqhelekileyo wokuba abantu abahlekisayo babonwa benomtsalane ngakumbi. Ngoko mhlawumbi ukungabi naburharha kwakho kukubambezela.

Indlela yokuphucula

Nangona abanye abantu behlekisa ngokwemvelo, akuthethi ukuba awukwazi ukuphucula izakhono zakho ze-comedic. Nanga amanye amacebiso ngendlela yokuhlekisa ngakumbi:

• Zithembe xa ubalisa isiqhulo okanye ibali elihlekisayo
• Sebenza ngexesha lakho
• Yazi abaphulaphuli bakho - Yintoni ehlekisayo kwiqela inokukhubekisa omnye
• Khululeka wenze iziqhulo ngeendleko zakho

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9. Usoloko ubuzwa ukuba unomsindo/ukhathazekile/udiniwe na

Enye yeempawu eziqhelekileyo zokungathandeki kukuba nobuso obunomsindo. Kukwenza ubonakale njengomntu ongathandekiyo kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo ongafikelelekiyo.

Indlela yokuphucula

Ewe, ukubonwa njengento ethandekayo kwaye engenekayo linyathelo lokuqala ukuba nomtsalane. Zama ezi ukuze utshintshe ubuso bakho obunomsindo ophumlileyo.

• Ziqhelise esipilini
• Walumkele amazwi akho xa ukwimeko yasekuhlaleni
• Kuphephe ukucanda indawo xa uphakathi kwabantu

10. Ufumana umhlobo-zoned kakhulu

Ukuba ngumhlobo-zoned rhoqo lolunye lweempawu ezili-16 zokuba awuthandeki. UGqr. Batra uthi, “Ukuba abantu bayakuthanda ukuba nomhlobo wakho, kodwa babonakale bengenamdla wokuthandana, mhlawumbi ubonakala ungonwabanga kakhulu.” Ukuba ngumntu onobubele nonobubele kwanele ukuba ube ngumhlobo nomntu kodwa xa wena ufuna ukuba ngaphezu komhlobo, kufuneka udibanise umtsalane omncinci kwi-equation ngokunjalo.

Indlela yokuphucula

Nanga amanye amacebiso okwenza umntu akuthande hayi nje umhlobo wakho:

• Bamba ujongana namehlo isekhondi nje elide
• Bancome
• Yongeza into yokudlala okanye ukuqhula kwincoko yakho
• Ukudlala ngothando ngamanye amaxesha ukulahla iingcebiso okanye ukuvavanya amanzi

11. Uhlala uphazama omnye umntu (hayi umntu odumileyo)

Ukuphazama abanye abantu kaninzi kunokubonisa ukuba unenkangeleko yegeneric kwaye awumi phakathi kwesihlwele. Oku akuthethi ukuba ungathandeki kodwa ungabonakali ngokubanzi.

Indlela yokuphucula

Awunako ukuba nomtsalane ukuba awunayo umgangatho owodwa owenza kube lula ukukhumbula okanye ukubamba ingqalelo yomntu. Nazi ezinye iindlela onokuthi ugqame phakathi kwesihlwele ngokoGqr. Batra:

• Fumana inkangeleko yesiginitsha - iiglasi, iminqwazi, into yokwenza abantu bakukhumbule
• Nyaniseka kwisitayile sakho endaweni yokujikela kuyo yonke intsingiselo ezayo kwaye ihamba
• Jonga izitayile ezintsha zeenwele/iindevu ukuba eyakho yangoku ibonakala ixhaphake kakhulu

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12. Abantu abafane bakumeme ngaphandle

Mhlawumbi ungumntu wasekhaya kwaye abantu abakungqongileyo bayayazi loo nto, ilungile. Noko ke, uGqr. Batra uthi, “Ukuba uyafuna ukumenywa kodwa akumenywa, kusenokuba kungenxa yokuba ujongwa njengomntu oqolileyo, okruqulayo, okanye ongathandekiyo—yaye ezi asizizo ezo. isalathisi somntu onomtsalane. "

Indlela yokuphucula

Ngaba unikezela ngamandla "ndingathanda ukuhlala ekhaya" nokuba awufuni? Nazi ezinye iindlela zokutshintsha oko:

• Qalisa — fikelela ebantwini kwaye wenze izicwangciso
• Musa ukuzibamba kakhulu xa ukwindawo yokuzonwabisa
• Khululeka - hleka, vula, kwaye ungakhathazeki kakhulu ngokuzihlazisa

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13. Abahlobo musani ukukuseka

Xa umntu engatshatanga, abahlobo badla ngokuzama ukudlala oogxa babo baze babenzele umlingane. Ngaba abahlobo bakho bazamile ukukwenzela oko? Ukuba akunjalo, isenokuba yenye yeempawu ezili-16 ezibonisa ukuba awuthandeki. Kusenokuba kungenxa yenkangeleko yakho okanye ukungaqhelani kakuhle nabantu, okanye abahlobo bakho basenokucinga ukuba awufuni ukuthandana.

Uphucula njani:

Ukuba ngokwenene uvulele ukuthandana, kukho iindlela ezimbalwa zokufumana abahlobo bakho 'eyona' yeyakho:

• Yazisa abahlobo bakho ukuba ukulungele ukuthandana kunye nohlobo lomntu omfunayo
• Nika ingqalelo kwinkangeleko yakho kwaye ubeke imizamo ekuzilungiseni
• Zibandakanye ngakumbi nentlalontle
• Yiba nokuzithemba ngakumbi kwaye wonwabe ukuze abantu bakubone njengenkampani eyonwabisayo
• Yandisa izangqa zakho zokuhlangana nabantu abaninzi

14. Isiqalekiso esihle

Olunye uphawu olubonisa ukuba awungomntu ujongeka kakuhle okanye gal kukuba uhlala ubizwa ngokuba uyathandeka okanye umhle kodwa ungashushu okanye unomtsalane. Eso sisiqalekiso esimnandi kunye nendlela eqinisekileyo yokudutyulwa ukufumana umhlobo-zoned. Oku akuthethi ukuba awuthandeki, ukubizwa ngokuba cute, enyanisweni, kukuncoma. Kodwa ukuncoma okunjalo kunokunikezelwa kubudlelwane bothando kunye ne-platonic - umntwana unokubizwa ngokuba mhle okanye injana. Nangona kunjalo, xa umntu ekubiza ngokuba ushushu okanye u-sexy, akukho nto ichaza ngokungafanelekanga loo mqondiso.

Indlela yokuphucula

Ngaba uyafuna ukucofa ukucofa umva kwaye unyuse imitha yobushushu? Zama la macebiso:

• Tshintshela i-wardrobe yakho - yeka izinto ezithandeka kakhulu ukuze ufumane into encinci
• Khetha iimpahla ezigxininisa ubume bomzimba wakho
• Yongeza into engqindilili kwinkangeleko yakho-iqhekeza lezacholo, i-lipstick enesibindi, i-tattoo, njl.

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15. Ungowokugqibela ukukhethwa kwimisebenzi yeqela

Uziva ngathi iklasi yokuzivocavoca kwakhona, akunjalo? Ukuba ungowokugqibela ukukhethwa kwimidlalo yeqela okanye nayiphi na imisebenzi yeqela, inokuba luphawu lokuba abantu abakuthandi. Nangona oku kunokubangelwa yinkangeleko, kusenokwenzeka ukuba ubuntu bakho abuthandwa kwimeko enjalo. Mhlawumbi ubonwa njengomntu ongenzi nto, usisiqhwala, okanye ukruqukile nje.

Indlela yokuphucula

Ukuhlalisana akukho nto ngaphandle kobuchule. Isenokuza kwabanye abantu ngokwemvelo, kodwa kuthi thina bantu baqalayo (Ewe, ndingomnye wenu), ukuziqhelanisa kwenza umahluko.

• Sebenza kwizakhono zakho zentlalontle
• Fumana izangqa zentlalo ezihambelana ne-vibe yakho
• Khululeka uyeke ukuzithathela ingqalelo kakhulu

16. abantu bazama ukuphepha okanye ukuphepha ukusebenzisana nawe

Ngaba usoloko uvakalelwa kukuba abantu bazama ukuyishiya incoko okanye bakunika impendulo ethetha ngegama elinye? Ngaphandle kokuba kunokwenzeka ukuba baphazamiseke nje okanye umntu okhohlakeleyo, kukho ithuba lokuba bayifumane incoko ekruqulayo okanye engathandekiyo. UGqr. Batra uthi, “Ngokuqhelekileyo, abantu abathetha ngokutyibilikayo baze bakugcine kubangel’ umdla bagqalwa benomtsalane yaye benomtsalane ngakumbi.”

Indlela yokuphucula

Ngaba ufuna ukuba ngcono kwiincoko? Nanga amanye amacebiso kaGqr. Batra:

• Shenxisela incoko udlule intetho encinci uye kuyo izihloko ezinzulu
• Thetha ngeengongoma ezifanayo ezifanelekileyo komnye umntu
• Gcina ingqalelo komnye umntu
• Buza imibuzo evulelekileyo
• Bonisa ulwimi lomzimba olubandakanyekayo

Khumbula, ukuba nomtsalane kuxhomekeke kwindlela oziphethe ngayo njengoko kunjalo nangenkangeleko yakho!

Imibuzo ebuzwa qho

Iingcinga Final

Ezi yayizimpawu ezili-16 zokuba umbi okanye awuthandeki kunye neendlela onokuziphucula ngazo. Khumbula ukuba ekupheleni kosuku, umtsalane uxhomekeke kwaye abantu banokukhetha okwahlukileyo. Ke, endaweni yokuzitshintsha ngokupheleleyo ukutsala umntu, sebenzela ekuphuculeni ukuzithemba kwakho kunye nezakhono zonxibelelwano kwaye uphucule iimpawu ezikwenza ube wodwa.

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Xa Umyeni Ehlala Egxeka inkangeleko Yakho

Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.