Ngaba Amantombazana Athanda Abafana Abanentloni? Izizathu Ezisi-7 Bezenza

Ke, uyazibuza, ngaba amantombazana athanda abafana abaneentloni? Ngumbuzo ekusenokwenzeka ukuba uye wawela engqondweni yakho ngaphezu kwexesha elinye, ngakumbi ukuba uluhlobo olukhetha ukumamela kunokukhokela incoko. Masibe yinyani, ukuthandana kunokuziva ngathi kuxatyaniswa, kwaye ukuba neentloni kunokukwenza kubonakale ngathi uhamba uvale amehlo. Umfo oneentloni usenokungakhululekanga ngokubuza umntu nje. Ukuba umntu oneentloni akenzi ntshukumo, unokuziva ngathi uyaphulukana. Le isenokuba yingxaki enokukonakalisa ukuzithemba komntu.

Kodwa nantsi into: ukuba neentloni akusiyo i-dealbreaker. Enyanisweni, amanye amantombazana ayifumanisa inomtsalane. Makhe sikhuphe isizathu sokuba, sihlole amahla ndinyuka okuba neentloni kwihlabathi lokuthandana, kwaye wabelane ngeengcebiso ezisebenzayo ukukunceda ukhanye ngaphandle kokuzenza umntu ongenguye. Ngeembono ezisuka kwiingcali zengqondo, iingcali zobudlelwane, kunye namava abantu bokwenyani, siya kuyigcina inyanisekile kwaye iyenzeka. Ngaba ulungile? Masingene ngaphakathi.

Ngaba Amantombazana Athanda Abafana Abanentloni? 7 Izizathu zokuba kutheni amanye amantombazana ethanda abafana abanentloni

Masihlukane: ngaba amantombazana ayathanda abafana abaneentloni? Impendulo ayingoewe okanye hayi elula—ixhomekeke kwintombazana. Abanye batsalwa kwiintlobo ezithuleyo, ezizicingelayo, ngelixa ezinye zinokungcangcazela ngakumbi ngobuntu obuphumayo. Abafana abaneentloni badla ngokuba neempawu ezigqamayo, njengokucinga okanye ukuba ngabaphulaphuli ababalaseleyo, ezinokuvusa umtsalane. Lo mtsalane awunanto yakwenza nendlela othandeka ngayo okanye onomtsalane ngayo kodwa uphila phantsi koko uzisa etafileni. Ngamanye amaxesha, ngamanye amaxesha, ezi mpawu zinokubhenela kwabasetyhini abangatsalwanga ngokuqhelekileyo kuhlobo oluzolileyo, olufunxayo. 

Yiloo nto yenzeka ku-Ella, umbhali weencwadi oneminyaka engama-29 ubudala. Wayebathanda abantu abathanda izinto ezintle. Amadoda awayenokuba negumbi ngokuzithemba kwawo, ayeyazi indlela yokuthandana kwaye evumela umfazi ukuba alale phantsi ngaphandle kokuzama ngamandla. Ukuba ubumbuza, “Ingaba ukuba neentloni kuyathandeka endodeni ?”, ngewayethe, “Hayi bo!”, ngaphandle kokucinga kabini.

Yiyo loo nto, xa wayeqala ukudibana noDaniel kwitheko lomhla wokuzalwa womhlobo wakhe uAva, akazange amphawule. Wahlala ekupheleni kwetafile, esela utywala, encuma ngokuthozama kodwa engafane athethe ngaphandle kokuba kukho umntu othetha naye ngokuthe ngqo. Kamva ngaloo ngokuhlwa, xa wonke umntu waya kwigumbi lokuhlala ukuze afumane iziselo nokudanisa, uDaniel wasala ukuze ancede ekucoceni itafile. UElla wayesegumbini lokuphekela xa wangena ephethe iipleyiti ezininzi. Bajongana emehlweni. Wajonga ecaleni kuqala.

"Dinga uncedo?" wabuza engalindelanga ngaphezu kokunqwala ngembeko.

“Ngokuqinisekileyo,” watsho, ethethela phantsi kodwa enyanisekile. "Enkosi."

Kwaba njalo. Akukho kuncwasa. Akukho mzamo wokuchukumisa. Ubukho nje obuzolileyo obungaziva bungathandekiyo ngandlel’ ithile. Bagqiba bancokola imizuzu elishumi elinesihlanu behlamba izitya. Incoko yabo yajika yasuka ezincwadini nakwindima yakhe ekubatyhaleleni emarikeni, iindawo abazithandayo zeramen, kwaye akukho namnye kubo owayesazi abantu abaninzi ethekweni.

Ngosuku olulandelayo, uDaniel wamthumelela umyalezo. Umyalezo nje olula: "Heyi, ndonwabele kakhulu incoko yethu phezolo. Ungathanda ukufumana ikofu ngelinye ixesha?" Hayi "iziselo." Hayi "ukuhamba." Kofu. Yayiziva inyanisekile ngendlela ehlaziyayo.

Baqala ukubonana. UElla wakhawuleza waqonda ukuba nangona uDaniel wayengengomntu ubalulekileyo epatini, wayeqaphela izinto. Wakhumbula oko wayekuthetha. Wamamela, waphulaphula ngokwenene. Akazange enze zimpawu zinkulu, kodwa xa wambamba isandla okokuqala, ngoloyiko, savakala sinentsingiselo ngaphezu kwayo nayiphi na intambo ecocekileyo yokuthatha imifanekiso.

Xa uAva wayemgculela esithi, “Jonga ukuba uthandana nendoda eneentloni, uNkosazana-Ndifuna-ndimthandelani,” uElla waphendula wathi, “Akanantloni ngendlela ekruqulayo, uneentloni ngendlela endenza ndizive ndikhuselekile. Oko kuphendula umbuzo, ngaba amantombazana athanda abafana abathuleyo? Ngoku, makhe sihlolisise ukuba kutheni:

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1. Unayo loo vibe engaqondakaliyo

Kutheni abafazi bethanda amadoda athuleyo? Ngenxa yokuba amadoda aneentloni naziintloni asoloko ethetha ngendlela engaqondakaliyo kuba akaliphalazi ngoko nangoko ibali lobomi bawo. Oku kunokwenza intombazana ibe nomdla, ifune ukukhupha iileya ukuze yazi ngakumbi. Umqeqeshi wobudlelwane uJohn Keegan uthi, "Kukho ubuqili kumntu ongazinzanga. Itsala abantu ngokwemvelo." 

Ephendula umbuzo othi, “Nina mantombazana niyawathanda amadoda aneentloni?” , kwiReddit, umsebenzisi uphinde wathi, “Amadoda aneentloni afana nencwadi ofuna ukuyifunda kuba akayiniki yonke ngaxeshanye.” Abafazi banokutsaleleka kuwe ngenxa yokuba neentloni,

• Ivusa umdla, imenza alangazelele ukufumanisa ukuba ungubani na
• Ukwahlula kubafana ababelana kakhulu kungekudala

2. Ungumphulaphuli obalaseleyo

Ukuba uneentloni, kusenokwenzeka ukuba ungumphulaphuli olungileyo okhetha ukunikel’ ingqalelo kwinto ethethwa ngomnye umntu kunokulawula incoko. Amantombazana ayakubona oku. Xa uyiva ngokwenene into ayithethayo, imenza azive exabisekile. Ingcali yezengqondo uGqr. Susan Whitbourne ucacisa athi, “Ukumamela ngokuzimisela kwakha ukuthembana kwaye kubonisa inkathalo yokwenene, nto leyo enomtsalane.” Kutheni ukuba neentloni kunomtsalane kubafazi? Nasi isizathu:

• Kubonisa ukuba uzikhathalele iingcinga zakhe, hayi ezakho kuphela
• Idala indawo ekhuselekileyo yokuba ayivule

3. Ukucinga kwakho kuqaqambile

Abafana abaneentloni badla ngokucinga ngaphambi kokuba bathethe, nto leyo edla ngokuguqulela ekubeni nengqiqo. Akunakwenzeka ukuba ukhuphe into engakhathali, kwaye indalo enonyameko ingaba ngumzobo omkhulu. Oku kuhambelana nexabiso lamantombazana kwiqabane: umntu onenkathalo nocingayo. Lo mba wobuntu bakho,

• Yakha ukuthembana ngokuphepha ukungxama okanye izimvo ezibuhlungu
• Yenza ukuba amazwi akho abe nobunzima ngakumbi xa uthetha

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4. Ukuthobeka ngamandla akho amakhulu

Siqhamise:akhomntu uthanda umboniso. Abafana abaneentloni basoloko bedibana bethobekile, nto leyo ehlaziyayo kwihlabathi eligcwele ukuziphakamisa. Kukho impendulo yombuzo othi: kutheni amantombazana ethanda abafana abathuleyo? Kuba kukwenza ubonakale njengomntu ongenekayo, ongakoyikiyo, yaye kubonisa ukuba ukhuselekile njengomntu. 

5. Ubonwa njengonyanisekileyo

Kuloo ngxoxo inye yeReddit , omnye umsebenzisi wathi, “Isoka lam elineentloni lithathe iinyanga licela ukuba ndiphume nalo, kodwa ngoku lilo elithembekileyo kakhulu endimaziyo.” Eli lityala elikhulu kubafazi abathandana nendoda eneentloni . Amadoda aneentloni adla ngokuthatha ixesha lokuvula imilomo, kodwa xa esenza njalo, kungenxa yokuba atyale imali ngokwenene. UGqr. John Gottman, umphandi wobudlelwane odumileyo, uthi, “Ukuzinikela kukhula kutyalo-mali oluvela kwiimvakalelo, kungekhona kwizenzo ezinkulu.” Le ndlela ithatha ixesha kwaye izinzile ibonisa ukuthembeka, uphawu oluthandwa ngamantombazana amaninzi.

6. Ungumngeni owonwabisayo

Amanye amantombazana ayakonwabela umngeni wokufumana umfana oneentloni ukuba aphume eqokobheni lakhe. Hayi, abazimiselanga ukukutshintsha okanye ukubanga njengohlobo oluthile lwebhaso. Kodwa inkqubo yokufumana ukuthenjwa ngumfana oneentloni kunye nokubona iinzame zabo zibuyelana inokuba mnandi. Oku kuguquguqukayo kunokudala unxibelelwano olulodwa apho, 

• Ubudlelwane buvakalelwa njengohambo ekwabelwana ngalo
• Mutual umzamo kubudlelwane yenza nzulu iqhina
• Nobabini nikhula kunye

7. Umenza azive ekhuselekile

Kutheni amantombazana ethanda abafana abaneentloni? Esona sizathu silula kwaye mhlawumbi esona sizathu sinamandla yimvakalelo yokhuseleko ekuthandeni indoda eneentloni. Abafana abaneentloni badla ngokubonakala njengabangasoyikisi, nto leyo enokwenza amantombazana akhululeke. Ubume bakho obuzibekeleyo bucebisa ukuba uhloniphe imida, umenze azive ekhuselekile. Umqeqeshi wobudlelwane uChristina Jay uthi, “Ukuzola kwabafana abaneentloni kunokuba yindawo ekhuselekileyo kwihlabathi elinesiphithiphithi sokuthandana.” 

• Idala imeko-bume yoxinzelelo oluphantsi unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo
• Ibonisa intlonipho yesantya sakhe kunye nenqanaba lokuthuthuzela

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Izinto eziluncedo kunye nemigibe yokuba neentloni kuBomi bakho bokuthandana

Ukuba neentloni kwindawo yokuthandana yingxowa edibeneyo. Inazo izinto zayo, kodwa iza nemiqobo. Ukuba neentloni kwakho kunokukwenza ugqame ngendlela efanelekileyo. Ubonwa njengomfana omamelayo kwaye acinge ngaphambi kokuba enze. Kodwa inokukukhubekisa, ngakumbi xa kuziwa ekwenzeni intshukumo yokuqala okanye ukubonisa ukuba unomdla. Ubuqhetseba kukwazi ukuba ungadlala njani ngamandla akho ngelixa usebenza kwimingeni. Ngenxa yoko, kufuneka wazi ukuba yintoni na loo mandla kunye nemiceli mngeni kunye nendlela abumba ngayo amathuba akho othando. Masifumanise:

Iintloni zikunika umda ekudaleni uqhagamshelo lokwenyani, kodwa kunokukwenza uzive ubambekile ukuba awutyhali ngaphaya kobunzima bokuqala. Ukuba umntu oneentloni akenzi ntshukumo, sonke isibheno kunye nobuqhophololo bunokuphela ngokukhawuleza. Masiqhubele phambili kwindlela ongayenza ngayo ukuba ikusebenzele.

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Ukuthandana njengomntu oneentloni kunokubonakala kusoyikisa, kodwa akufuneki kubonakale ngathi kukunyuka intaba. Akufuneki uguquke ube nguMnu. Charisma ngobusuku obunye. Endaweni yoko, gxila ekwakheni ukuzithemba, ukubonisa umdla ngendlela yakho, kunye nokuphuma kwindawo yakho yokuthuthuzela. Konke kuxhomekeke ekungavumeli ukuthintela kwakho kube lutshaba lwakho olukhulu kwaye uthathe amanyathelo amancinci ngokunyaniseka. Kuvakala ngathi ngamazwi amaninzi amakhulu? Masikuchazele ngotshintsho olulula onokulwenza kwihlabathi lokuthandana ngokuzithemba kwaye utsale amantombazana ngelixa uhlala uthembekile kulowo unguye.

1: Yakha ukuzithemba okuthe cwaka

Ukuzithemba akuthethi ukuba ungxola okanye ungxole. Imalunga nokufunda ukuziva ukhululekile kulusu lwakho. UKeegan ucebisa ngelithi, “Yamkele indlela onxibelelana ngayo nawe; akuyomfuneko ukuba uxelise abantu abangaqhelekanga ukuze ube nomtsalane.” Qala ngokuqaphela into ekwenza woyike, njengokukwazi kwakho ukumamela okanye indalo yakho ecingayo, emva koko uyenze ikhanye. Nazi ezinye izinto onokuzizama: 

• Dwelisa izinto ezintathu ozithandayo ngawe ukuze ukhulise ukuzithemba kwakho
• Ziqhelanise nokuma mde kwaye ujonge amehlo ukuzithemba kwiprojekthi
• Phuma endleleni yakho kwaye qalisa incoko nala ntombazana othabathe iliso lakho

2. Ziqhelise ukuthetha kancinci

Umfana oneentloni ukuthandana umdlalo udla ngokuhlupheka ngenxa yokuba ukuqala iincoko kunokuziva ngathi kukutsala amazinyo, kodwa kuba lula ngokuziqhelanisa. URosenfeld ucebisa oku, “Thetha naye wonk’ ubani—ooobarista, osebenza nabo, abantu ongabaziyo—ukuze wakhe isihlunu sentlalontle yakho.

• Zama elula abavula incoko ngathi, "Injani imini yakho?" ukufumana ibhola iqengqeleka
• Qala ngoseto olunoxinzelelo oluphantsi, njengokuncokola nomntu othatha imali
• Lungiselela imibuzo embalwa oya kuyo ukunqanda ukubanda

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3. Yayama ngemihla ebonakalayo

Ukuba imihla yobuso ngobuso ikwenza ube novalo, imihla ebonakalayo ingatshintsha umdlalo. Bakunika ithuba lokwakha ubudlelwane kwindawo ekhululekileyo. Xa udibana nomntu omtsha, 

• Lisebenzise kakuhle inqanaba lokuthetha ukuseka ubudlelwane
• Ngaphambi komhla wekofu, cebisa a Umhla wokwandisa ukukhululeka kwizinto
• Sebenzisa inqaku lengxoxo ukwabelana ngeengcinga ukuba ukuthetha kuvakala kunzima

4. Bonisa umdla ngezenzo

Njengoko isazi sihamba, izenzo zithetha ngaphezu kwamazwi. Ukuba uyasokola ukufumana amagama afanelekileyo okanye awukwazi ukuza ne-liner enomtsalane yokusindisa ubomi bakho, musa. Gxininisa kwinto onokuyenza ngokufanelekileyo. Amandla akho alele kwizinto ezincinci, ezicingayo, njengokukhumbula i-snack yakhe ayithandayo okanye ukuthumela isicatshulwa esixhasayo. Yisebenzise ngokwenzuzo yakho. Uya kufumanisa ukuba uhambo olunentloni lomfo wokuthandana aloyikisi okanye luyakhathaza njengoko ubucinga ukuba lunjalo. 

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5. Hlala unyanisekile

Okwangoku, imfihlakalo ethi “kutheni amantombazana ethanda amadoda aneentloni” isusiwe kuwe. Uyazi, zininzi izizathu zokuba amantombazana atsaleleke kuhlobo lwakho lobuntu. Ngoko ke, hlala uthembekile kuyo kwaye uyisebenzise njengesiseko sokunxibelelana nomfazi omthandayo . Akukho sizathu sokuzenza umntu ongenguye. Rhoqo, ingqineka iyiresiphi yoxinzelelo. Amantombazana anokubona ukungabi nanyani kude aze abalekele kwicala elahlukileyo. Kwelinye icala, aya kukuxabisa wena wokwenene. Vumela ubuntu bakho bukhanye, iimpawu zakho ezintle nazo zonke ezinye izinto.

• Yabelana ngezinto onomdla kuzo, nokuba zi-niche okanye i-nerdy
• Kuphephe ukunyanzela uburharha okanye ukuzithemba
• Zikhumbuze, kulungile ukuba nzima kancinci

6. Thatha izinto kancinci

Akukho kungxama ekuthandeni, ingakumbi kubafana abaneentloni. Ukuthabatha izinto kancinci kubonisa ukuba unomdla kunxibelelwano lokwenyani, kungekuphela nje ekuphumeleleni ngokukhawuleza. UGqr. Susan Whitbourne uthi, “Ukwakha ukuthembana kancinci kancinci kukhokelela kulwalamano oluqinileyo.” Amantombazana adla ngokumxabisa umfana ongahloniphi nje isantya sakhe kodwa ozimisele ukuthatha izinto kancinci kwicala lakhe. Zinike ixesha lokumazi kwaye wakhe ubuhlobo. Gxila kwiincoko nasekuqiniseni ulwalamano lwakho, kwaye uvumele ubudlelwane buqhubeke ngokwendalo ngaphandle kokunyanzela amanyathelo abalulekileyo.

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7. Nyathela kancinci ngaphandle kwendawo yakho yokuthuthuzela

Ewe, njengomntu oneentloni, kuninzi okuphathele kona. Musa ukuvumela olu lwazi lukwenze ube neqhude okanye ukhululeke kakhulu eluswini lwakho kangangokuba uyeke ukwenza umzamo. Khumbula, ukukhula kwenzeka xa utyhala imida yakho kwaye uphume ngaphandle kwendawo yakho yokuthuthuzela, nokuba kuncinci nje. Yamkela loo nto ingathandekiyo kuba imingcipheko emincinci inokukhokelela kwimivuzo emikhulu. Ngoko, qhubeka kwaye,

• Zama useto olutsha loluntu 
• Yenza isibindi sokuthi molo kumntu omtsha kwindawo yentlalo 
• Joyina iklabhu okanye uye kwimisitho apho unokudibana nabantu ngokwemvelo
• Cela umngeni ukuba uqale incoko entsha ngeveki

Iingcinga Final

Ukuba neentloni akuthethi ukuba ugwetyelwe kwihlabathi lokuthandana. Kude noko. Iintloni zakho zinokuba namandla, zikwenze ube yimfihlakalo, ucinge, kwaye ukhuseleke ngendlela amantombazana amaninzi afumanisa ukuba ayinakuphikiswa. Ngokuqinisekileyo, kukho imingeni, njengokuqalisa incoko okanye ukuma phakathi kwesihlwele, kodwa ezo zizinto onokulungisa kuzo. Into ephambili kukungqiyama kwinto ekwenza ube wodwa ngelixa uthatha amanyathelo amancinci ukwakha ukuzithemba kwaye ubonise umdla. Musa ukoyika ukwenza intshukumo, nokuba luncumo nje okanye isimbo sobubele. Kukho intombazana eyakuxabisa ukuba ungubani na.

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