Ngaba Uneentloni Okanye Akanamdla? Iindlela ezingama-26 zokuthetha umahluko

Ngaba uziva ngathi unento enxilisayo nomfana, kodwa uxakwe yindlela aziphatha ngayo? Unokuzibhaqa uzibuza, "Ngaba uneentloni okanye akanamdla?" Ukwahlula phakathi koloyiko nokungakhathali kunokunxunguphalisa. Kwelinye icala, uthule kwaye uzibekele, akajongani namehlo. Kwelinye icala, udla ngokungathethi nawe okanye ubonakale ehamba xa ekubona. Kungokwemvelo ukubuza, ngaba unovalo okanye akanamdla? Iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba kukho imikhondo echuliweyo enokukunceda uchaze umahluko. 

Sidibanise esi sikhokelo sineenkcukacha malunga nendlela yokuxelela ukuba umfana unovalo okanye akanamdla wokukunceda wenze kanye loo nto. Ixhaswa yimibono evela kwiingcali zobudlelwane, makhe sibone indlela yokwahlula iimvakalelo ezifihlakeleyo ekuswelekeni komdla. 

Indlela Yokuxelela Ukuba Umfo Wothukile Okanye Awunamdla: Iindlela ezingama-26

Okokuqala, ukuba uzifumanisa ushiywa ziingqondo uzama ukucinga ukuba, “Ngaba uneentloni okanye akanamdla?”, yazi ukuba oku akubangelwa kukungakwazi kwakho ukuqonda. Iintloni kunye noloyiko ngokufuthi zinokubonakala zingenamdla. Ngokomzekelo, umntu okuphephayo ukujongana namehlo okanye ophepha incoko unokuba novalo kakhulu ukuba angabandakanyeka. Kodwa inokuba luphawu olunentlonipho lokuba akakho kuwe. Iingcali zobudlelwane zibonisa ukuba umxholo yinto yonke. Isazi ngengqondo uWendy Patrick siphawula oku, “Abantu abaneentloni bayanxulumana njengaye wonke umntu. Ngoko ke, umntu oneentloni usenokubonakalisa umdla wakhe ngeendlela ezichuliweyo kunomntu oqaqadekileyo. Nangona kunjalo, kuya kubakho imiqondiso yokuba umntu oneentloni uyakuthanda kodwa uzama ukungabonisi. 

Kwicala le-flip, indoda enganomdla iya kuhlala inikezela ngemiqondiso engalunganga njengokungakhathaleli wena ngokupheleleyo. UPatrick uthi, “Ukuba unethuba elaneleyo lokuthetha nawe aze angakwenzi oko, kusenokwenzeka ukuba akakuthandi xa uthandana.” Izandi zintsonkothile? Masiyenze ibe lula kuwe ngokuziphatha oneentloni-kodwa-unomdla kwaye sijonge ukuba zahluke njani ekuswelekeni komdla. Ekugqibeleni, uya kuba nempendulo yombuzo ngoku okugcina uphaphile ebusuku: Ngaba unovalo okanye akanamdla?

Iindlela ezili-13 ezenziwa ngumfana xa ekuthanda kodwa eneentloni

Xa umfana ekuthanda kodwa eneentloni, iimvakalelo zakhe zisenokungasoloko zibonakala ngokukhawuleza. Endaweni yezenzo ezibukhali okanye ukudlala ngothando ngokuthe ngqo, unokubonisa iimpawu ezifihlakeleyo ukuba umntu oneentloni uyakuthanda kodwa uzama ukungabonisi. Ezi ziphatha zihlala zibonisa ukuxhalaba kwakhe kunye nomnqweno wokudibanisa ngaphandle kokuphuma ngokupheleleyo kwindawo yakhe yokuthuthuzela. Ukusuka ekuba ukukrwaqula ngokukhawuleza ukuya kuthi xhaxhe okanye ukumbambazela xa ukufutshane, ezi mpawu ngamanye amaxesha kunokuba nzima ukuzitolika. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uyayazi into omawuyijonge, uya kuqalisa ukuqaphela iindlela ezithule kodwa ezinentsingiselo abonisa ngazo umdla wakhe. Makhe sijonge iindlela ezili-13 zomntu oneentloni anokuthi enze ngazo xa eneemvakalelo ngawe, nokuba uyasokola ukuzichaza ngokuphandle.

1. Uyakuphepha ukubajonga ngqo emehlweni kodwa uyachwechwa xa esithi krwaqu

Xa umfana ekuthanda kodwa eneentloni kakhulu ukwenza oko, unokusokola ukudibana namehlo akho ngokuthe ngqo okanye agcine ukudibana kwamehlo ixesha elide. Endaweni yoko,

• Uya kuba imbonakalo ekhawulezileyo xa ecinga ukuba awumjongi
• Usenokumbamba ejongile okomzuzwana uze ngoko nangoko ujonge ecaleni, ngokungathi uneentloni
• Eli qhinga lokudlala lizolile yintshukumo yakudala enentloni

Akayi kubamba amehlo akho ngenkalipho, kodwa into yokuba emana ejonga ngasemva luphawu oluqinileyo lokuba unomdla. Ewe, kwanamadoda angenamdla azama ukwenza umgudu owongezelelekileyo ngokujonga amehlo xa kukho umntu obalulekileyo kuwo. Ngoko ke, ukuba uphawula oko kukrwada kubiwe, ngakumbi ukuba ukhawuleza ajonge ecaleni, ehleka okanye edanile, yitsho ngetshoko njengomqondiso oneentloni, kungekhona ngokuyimfuneko ukuba uyala.

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2. Ukunika ingqalelo yakhe epheleleyo kwaye ukhumbula iinkcukacha

Okungaqhelekanga kukuba, umfana oneentloni unokubonisa indlela akuthanda ngayo ngokunikela ingqalelo engaqhelekanga xa uthetha. Uya kungqiyama, anqwale, aze amamele ngokwenene, ngaphezu kokuba esenza kwabanye abantu. Ngokwengqondo, oku kubizwa ngokuba "yingqwalasela egxininisiweyo." UPatrick uthi: “Abantu abaneentloni badla ngokubonisa umdla wabo ngokunikela ingqalelo epheleleyo kuwe.” Loo nto ibonisa ukuba kukho umntu oyixabisileyo inkampani yakho yaye unomdla onyanisekileyo koko ukutshoyo.

Ke, xa umfana ezolile ngakuwe kodwa emamele into oyithethayo aze akhumbule izinto ezincinci ozikhankanye kwiveki ephelileyo, njengemuvi owuthandayo okanye iresiphi oyithandayo, yindlela yakhe yokubonisa ukuba ukukhathalele. Ngokomzekelo, mhlawumbi umxelele ukuba uyayithanda ipizza, kwaye kwixesha elizayo xa ekubona, u-odola enye. Isenzo esincinci esihambisa okuninzi. Ingqalelo yakhe engahlulwanga kunye nokunikela ingqalelo kububungqina bothando lwakhe. 

3. Uneentloni, uyangcangcazela, okanye enze izinto ezingafanelekanga xa ukufutshane nawe

Amandla e-nervous luphawu olukhulu lokutyumza okuneentloni. Xa ekufuphi nawe,

• Usenokuba neentloni okanye aqalise ukugila-xhakazela ephethe okuthile ezandleni zakhe—usiba lokubhala, ifowuni, mhlawumbi kwanekhafu yehempe yakhe.
• Ukushukuma kwakhe kusenokuba nzima, kwaye unokuqaphela ukuba uyakhubeka phezu kwamagama okanye ulahla into ethile ngenxa yokuba unezitshixo.
• Usenokuba ubotshwe ngolwimi ngokupheleleyo, akushiye uzibuza ukuba kuthetha ukuthini xa indoda ineentloni ngakuwe kodwa ingengabo abanye 

Kulungile, qaphela ukuba ubuso bakhe buye bapinki okanye uqala ukuhleka uvalo ngenxa yeziqhulo zakhe. UPatrick uyacacisa, “Umntu oneentloni uya kuba novalo xa ukufutshane nawe, abe neentloni xa uthetha naye, aze azame ukuhlala kufutshane nawe.” Ukuba uthintitha okanye uyancuma ngokungathandekiyo, oko akunamdla. Yindlela yakhe yokufihla ukuba uchulumancile kangakanani nguwe. Inqaku elisecaleni: Kulungile, kwanophawu oluhle, ukuba uchitha isivakalisi okanye uchithe into ethile kufuphi nawe, uyazi kakuhle ngawe, kwaye ukwesaba kwakhe kubangelwa iimvakalelo zakhe ezisisiseko ngawe.

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4. Uncuma kakhulu xa ekufutshane nawe

Nokuba akakwazi ukuthetha, uncumo lwakhe luya kumkhupha. Abafana abaneentloni bahlala bencuma xa bekubona, ngamanye amaxesha ngeentloni bajonge kude emva koko. Luphawu oluthambileyo lokuba bonwabe ngokwenene xa ulapho. UPatrick uthi, "Ukuba uhlala encuma nje xa ekubona, yithathele ingqalelo phakathi kweempawu eziqinisekisiweyo zokuba umntu oneentloni uyakuthanda." 

Ukuba udiniwe kukuzibuza, “Ngaba uneentloni okanye akanamdla?”, nikela ingqalelo kwindlela asabela ngayo kubukho bakho. Ukuba ungena egumbini kwaye umbone, jonga ukunyuswa okufihlakeleyo emehlweni akhe okanye ukukhawuleza ngokukhawuleza ngaphambi kokuba afihle. Usenokude ancume xa ubulisa. Olu ncumo lufudumeleyo nolwenyani kukuphiwa. Kuba ngathi uneentloni ukusondela, ngoko uyeka ubuso bakhe buthethe. Olo ncumo luneentloni kulula ukuluphoswa, kodwa xa ulubona izihlandlo ezimbalwa, kunzima ukungaluhoyi.

5. Uzama ukuhlala kufutshane nawe ngokwamaqela

Nokuba uthe cwaka, uya kuzama ngokwasemzimbeni ukuba kufutshane. Mhlawumbi ubonakala kumaqela afanayo okanye kwiindawo zokufunda njengawe, ehlala ejikeleza kufutshane. Undoqo kukuba, akafuni ukuba kude nehlabathi lakho. Unokuqaphela ukuba ukhetha isihlalo esisecaleni kwesakho, okanye kwenzeka ukuba azibandakanye neprojekthi yeqela elifanayo, okanye afumane isizathu sokungena kwi-hangout oyithandayo. 

Isenokuziva iphantse yazenzekela, kodwa ngokufihlakeleyo, uloba amathuba okuba ngakuwe. Ngamanye amaxesha ude akhuseleke. Umzekelo, ukuba omnye umntu uyakuqhula ngokudlalayo, unokumfumana engonwabanga okanye elungele ukuzithethelela. Akazami ukuqala umlo, ukwazisa nje ukuba ukujongile. Kule mikhondo ichuliweyo kukho impendulo kwindlela yokuxelela ukuba umfana unovalo okanye awunamdla. 

6. Ukwenzela izinto ezincinci

Abafana abaneentloni banokungakugezi ngezijekulo zothando, kodwa baya kwenza izinto ezincinci, eziluncedo. Ezi zisenokuba ziindawo okanye izipho eziziswe ngendlela ephantsi kakhulu: 

• Ndikuphathele ikofu kusasa
• Ukukunceda ngesabelo
• Ukuchola into oyilibeleyo

Izenzo zinobuqili, kodwa injongo icacile. Umzekelo, mhlawumbi ukhankanya ukuba ulahlekelwe yipeni yakho, kwaye ngosuku olulandelayo uphethe enye eyongezelelweyo xa uyifuna. Okanye usenokukukhusela phantsi kweambrela yakhe xa kunetha. Ezi zijekulo zincinci zihlala zisithi "Ndiyakuthanda" ngaphezu kokuvakalisa isibindi. Ubonisa inkathalo ngendlela yakhe ezolileyo, esebenzayo, esithi “Ndilapha ngenxa yakho”, ngaphandle kokuyikhwaza.

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7. Ubonakala ekude okanye elikheswa ngamanye amaxesha

Abafana abaneentloni banokubonakala bemile okanye bekude, kodwa ngokuqhelekileyo ngenxa yesizathu seemvakalelo. Usenokubonakala engenamdla okanye epholile, kwaye ushiywe uzibuza ukuba kutheni. Kutheni abantu abaneentloni besenza izinto ezingenamdla? Isazi ngengqondo uGqr. Aman Bhonsle sichaza ukuba le ndlela yokuziphatha idla ngokubangelwa kukudandatheka, ibe songezelela ngelithi, “Asikuko ukuba abanamdla, kukuba iimvakalelo zabo zisenokuba namandla kangangokuba abaqinisekanga ngendlela yokusingatha ezo ngxaki. 

Enyanisweni, abantu abaneentloni ngokutyumza ngamanye amaxesha badala umgama ngokweemvakalelo kuba banexhala lokungafunwa. Ngoko ukuba uhlehla ngequbuliso—uthi, uyancokola ngenye imini aze athule ngokulandelayo—ungatsibe ufikelele kwisigqibo sokuba iimvakalelo zakhe ziphelile. Nantsi into enokwenzeka:

• Isenokuba lixhala lakhe
• Usenokuba uyoyika ukwenza into ehlazisayo, ngoko uyarhoxa ngengqondo
• Nangona kunjalo, xa enomdla kuwe, uya kwenza iinzame zokuphinda azibandakanye. Yiba ngokuncuma okanye ngokuncokola ngoloyiko
• Kulapho kuye kucace ukuba ebengakhathali okanye ebengenzi mdla. Wavele waxakwa

8 Uba neentloni xa uthetha naye

Xa ngokwenene ubamba ingqalelo yakhe ngokuthe ngqo, qaphela ubuso bakhe. Umntu oneentloni udla ngokujika abe bomvu xa uthetha naye, ngokungathi akakholelwa ukuba uthetha naye. Nokuba ubuza nje umbuzo wesiqhelo, unokuthi, 

• Yiba nobuso obushushu
• Nceda uhleke
• Zama ukuziphazamisa, mhlawumbi ngokudlala ngeenwele zakhe okanye ukujonga izihlangu zakhe
• Abafundi bakhe banokunyuka
• Uncumo lwakhe lunokuba novalo

Zonke ezi zizinto zakudala Iimpawu zolwimi lomzimba oyindoda zokutsaleka esukela kwinto yokuba ingqalelo yakho imenza akhathazeke. Ingcali yolwimi lomzimba uVanessa Van Edwards uchaza ezi zinto njengezinto ezingezizo ezibonisa ulonwabo, apho ubuso budlulisa ngaphezu kwamagama. Kule meko, amazwi akhe abonisa ukuba ukukhathalele.

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9. Uthetha nabahlobo bakho ngawe

Ekubeni ukusondela kuwe ngokuthe ngqo kunzima kuye, uhlala ehamba nomntu wesithathu: abahlobo bakho.

• Usenokubuza abahlobo bakho imibuzo nje eqhelekileyo efana nale, “Heyi, wenza ntoni kule mpelaveki?”
• Okanye ujonge iincoko zeqela apho ukhoyo
• Ngale ndlela, ufunda ngakumbi ngawe ngaphandle kokuba akubuze

Yindlela ekhohlisayo kodwa eyinyani yokubonakalisa umdla. Ngokomzekelo, unokulazi ngokukhawuleza igama lesilwanyana sakho okanye ibhendi oyithandayo, nangona ungazange umxelele. Kukho ithuba elihle lokuba wayifumana loo nto komnye umntu. Le ndlela yokuziphatha ibonisa ukuba nokuba akakwazi ukukuxelela, abanye bayazi ukuba uyakuthanda. Liqhinga elineentloni ukufumana ulwazi kunye nomqondiso womdla kwangoko.

10. Uyayitshintsha inkangeleko yakhe ukuze akuchukumise

Ukuzibuza, "Ngaba unamahloni okanye akanamdla?", Impendulo inokufihlwa kwimbonakalo yakhe. Ewe, utshintsho olufihlakeleyo lokuzilungisa lunokuba ngumqondiso wokuba umntu oneentloni unomdla kuwe. Ukuba ngequbuliso uqalisa ukunxiba kakuhle, achebe esitsha, okanye alungise inkangeleko yakhe rhoqo, unokukwenza oko ukuze akuchukumise ngaphandle kokuchaza ukuba kutheni. 

Umzekelo, ukuba uthe wangqubeka kuye kwaye uqaphele ukuba une-cologne entsha okanye iinwele ezinesitayile, inokuba yeyakho. Ezi nguqu kwisitayile sakhe ziindlela ezithe cwaka zokuthi, "Ndifuna undiqaphele." Usenokungavumi, kodwa unethemba lokuba uya kuwubona umzamo. Oku kuyinyaniso ngakumbi ukuba ukwenza kuphela ngeentsuku aziyo ukuba uza kukubona.

11. Uyancuma qho xa uncuma

Nika ingqalelo kukubuyisana. Umntu oneentloni uya kuhlala ebonisa ulonwabo lwakho. Ukuba uyamncuma nokuba uncume kancinane okanye uwangawangisa amandla, usenokukhululeka xa ephendula. Ngamanye amaxesha nje okomzuzwana ngaphambi kokuba ujonge kude. Le yindlela yakhe eneentloni yokuzibandakanya. Usenokuthi cwaka emva koko ancume aze ayigqume ngokuhleka okanye ajonge phantsi. Olu ncumo luchuliweyo lubonisa uthando. Iba ngathi uthi “Ewe, ndiyavuya xa uthe molo” engathethi.

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12. Usabelana ngeemvakalelo zakhe ngokuthe ngcembe

Xa umbambe kwincoko yodwa, qaphela ukuba utyhila naziphi na iindaba zobuqu. Abafana abaneentloni bahlala befumana ubunzima bokuvula, kodwa ukuba uye wakuvumela ukuba ungene kwinto enentsingiselo, njengexhala okanye iphupha, yinto enkulu. Ngokomzekelo, unokuvuma ukuba uhlala egciniwe okanye uthetha malunga nendlela ukuthetha nawe ngayo. A guy ukuba sesichengeni malunga nomfazi ngolo hlobo, a guy oneentloni, ukuba kakhulu, luphawu olukhulu ukuba uziva ekhuselekile ngeenxa zonke kuwe kwaye ufuna uxhulumaniso olunzulu nawe. 

13. Ukhetha ixesha elinye kunye nawe

Abafana abaneentloni badla ngokuqhakaza kwiimeko ezisondeleleneyo. Usenokubonakala eneentloni phakathi kwesihlwele, kodwa kwindawo ezolileyo, uya kuvula kancinane. Ukuba uphawula ukuba uyakuvuyela ukuba nencoko yomntu omnye, oko kubonisa ukuba uziva ekhululekile ngakumbi apho. Usenokuvolontiya ukuba athabathe ikofu okanye ahambe kunye “wedwa” ezenza ngathi uyakukhapha ukuya emnyango wakho ukuze aqinisekise ukuba ufika ekhaya ukhuselekile. Xa mfo uthule ngakuwe kwindawo kawonke-wonke kodwa uvula xa nibabini nje, luphawu oluhle.

Iindlela eziyi-13 zomfana azenzayo xa engenamdla kuwe

Xa umfana engenamdla kuwe, ukuziphatha kwakhe kuya kuhlala kuphawulwa ngokungabikho komgudu, ingqalelo, okanye ukubandakanyeka ngokweemvakalelo. Ngokungafaniyo nabafana abaneentloni, abasenokubonisa iimpawu zokoyika okanye uthando olufihlakeleyo, umntu ongakhathaliyo uya kwenza izinto ezikude okanye azimele. Usenokukuphepha ukuncokola, arhoxise izicwangciso rhoqo, okanye ancokole nawe kuphela xa kuyimfuneko. Ezi ziphatha zizalathisi ezicacileyo ukuba akakubekeli phambili okanye uqhagamshelo lwakho. Makhe sihlolisise ezi patheni ngakumbi ngokujonga 13 iindlela a guy ukwenza xa akanamdla kuwe, ukuze ukwazi ukuqaphela imiqondiso kwaye uqonde ukuba lixesha lokuhamba.

1. Kunqabile okanye akaqali ukudibana

Ukuba akanamdla, akanakufikela kuwe eyedwa. Ungaqaphela ukuba,

• le guy never texts kuqala, kodwa uyaphendula xa uqalisa incoko
• Akayi kuthumela ngokungenamkhethe iimemes ezihlekisayo okanye angene
• Iifowuni okanye ii-DMs ziya kunqaba kakhulu
• Ngokuhamba kwexesha, unxibelelwano luyaphela

Ukuba awuva kuye iintsuku kwaye usoloko usenza umnxeba, loo nto iflegi enkulu ebomvu. Umntu okujongileyo uya kuthatha ifowuni.

2. Usoloko enesingxengxezo

Usenokuvuma ukuxhoma ngokudlulayo, kodwa ke aphinde ahlengahlengise okanye agqabhuke. Umzekelo, uthi, "Masithathe ikofu", kodwa emva koko uyacima ngomzuzu wokugqibela kwaye akacebisi elinye ixesha. Le pateni yokwenza izicwangciso kwaye emva koko ighosting kuzo yintshukumo yakudala yokungabi namdla. 

UGqr. Bhonsle uthi: “Ukuba umisela imihla ngomzuzu wokugqibela, aqhubeke ehlengahlengisa, aqhubeke ethandabuza, akakho kuwe ngolo hlobo. Kumadinga aphilileyo, umfana onenkathalo uya kuzenzela ixesha. Kaninzi “ukuhlolwa kwemvula” kuthetha ukuba akakubekeli phambili kwaye uzama ukuphepha ukuzibophelela.

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3. Uncwasa abanye okanye uthetha ngabanye abafazi

Qaphela ukuba uzisa amagama abanye abafazi kwincoko phambi kwakho. Ukuba ukhankanya ngokungakhathaliyo ukuba umhlobo ushushu njani, okanye uza kuthandana kwaye akakho nawe, qaphela kwaye uyeke ukubuza, “Kutheni abantu abaneentloni besenza benganomdla?”

• Oku akuyontloni umfana othumela imiqondiso edibeneyo ngeenzame zokufihla iimvakalelo zakhe
• Lo mfo ukuxelela ukuba akanamdla
• Kunokuba abonise umdla kuwe, walatha komnye umntu

Konke oku kubonisa ngamandla ukuba uphumile kumfanekiso wakhe wothando.

4. Ulwimi lomzimba wakhe luvaliwe

Iimpawu zomntu oneentloni ziyakuthanda kodwa uzama ukungabonisi ukuba sithethe ngazo ziya kungabikho ngokupheleleyo xa umfana engenamdla kuwe. Endaweni yoko, uya kudibana neepateni ezicacileyo zolwimi lomzimba. Jonga indlela azimisa ngayo xa uthetha. Ezinye zeempawu ezichaza ulwimi lomzimba zokungabi namdla kwakhe zezi:

• Umzimba wakhe ujikile
• Iingalo zakhe zinqamlezene
• Amehlo akhe adla ngokujonga kwindawo ephumayo
• Usenokuma ejike umqolo ewuthe ngcu okanye ethe qelele
• Xa uthetha, akazunqwala okanye ancume ngokwenene. Kunoko, unokujonga egumbini

Ezi zenzo ziyakhwaza "andityalwanga." Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba uyakufulathela ngokoqobo nangokomfuziselo, kusenokwenzeka ukuba akanamdla kuwe.

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5. Akakuphathi ngendlela eyahlukileyo kunabanye

Ukuba umfana akakho kuwe, uya kukuphatha ngendlela efanayo nabanye abahlobo okanye abantu abaziyo. Ubukho bakho okanye ukungabikho kwakho akuyi kuba nempembelelo kwimoya yakhe. Ithoni yakhe, iziqhulo, kunye nolwimi lomzimba olukungqongileyo alutshintshi. UGqr Bhonsle uthi, “Xa umfana enomdla kwintombazana, kukho umahluko omncinane kwindlela anxibelelana ngayo nayo. 

Oku kubambe nokuba udlala ngawe okanye uzama ukonwaba nawe kwaye wenza okufanayo kuyo yonke enye intombazana ekufutshane naye. Ukuba uyambamba esenza le nto, luphawu ukuba akukho ntlantsi kuwe ngokukodwa. Ukuba uye waxakwa yindlela aziphatha ngayo, kukho uvavanyo olunye olulula lokukukhupha kwintlungu yakho: qaphela indlela athetha ngayo nabanye abafazi. Ukuba akukho kwaphela unyango olukhethekileyo kuwe, mhlawumbi nje ukuba friendly.

6. Ubonakala engakhathali okanye akachukunyiswa nguwe

Ukungakhathali ngumkhondo omkhulu. Umfana ongenamdla kuwe uyakuthatha icala nokuba ukhona okanye awukho. Akayi kuvutha, abe nomona, okanye abonakale ekhululekile xa ekubona. Ukuba ubukho bakho okanye ukungabikho kwakho kubonakala kungenzi mahluko kwindlela avakalelwa ngayo, oko kuthetha. Umzekelo, ukuba uzolile xa uthi ndlela-ntle kwaye ubonisa imvakalelo ye-zero xa ubuya, mhlawumbi akatyalwanga.

Ngokunjalo, ukuba nizipholele kwaye edlala kwifowuni yakhe okanye akagxininisi kuwe, ugcina umgama ngokweemvakalelo. Xa yonke into malunga nonxibelelwano lwakho ivakala "ingathathi cala," oko kuthetha ukuba usakugcina kubude bengalo engqondweni yakhe.

7. Uthi kuphela “hi”, aze ahambe

Le ndlela yokuziphatha ikhethekileyo inokubhida kakhulu. Uyawangawangisa okanye uthi molo, kwaye uyanqwala okanye umbomboze ngokukhawuleza “Molo,” kodwa ngoko nangoko ajike okanye aqhubeke nale ayenzayo. Akukho nto ayenzayo. Abantu abaninzi bayabuza, "Kuthetha ukuthini xa umfana esithi molo kuwe kodwa akathethi nawe?" Kwiimeko ezininzi, oko kuthetha ukuba unembeko, kodwa akananjongo yokubandakanyeka. 

• Uya kukubulisa ngaphandle kwembeko, kodwa emva koko arhoxe kwaye aqhubele phambili
• Akayi kubuza imibuzo elandelayo okanye enze intetho encinci
• Ukuba ebenomdla, ebenokuphoswa phantsi okanye azame ukuqalisa incoko
• Le "hi-and-go" ngequbuliso yindlela echuliweyo yokubonisa ukungabi namdla
• Kucinge oku njengokubeka imida ngembeko. Akakho krwada, ugcina nje izinto zincinci

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8. Uyahamba ngokoqobo xa ekubona

Ngamanye amaxesha ukungabi namdla kwakhe kunokubonakala ngeendlela ezingokoqobo, kwaye unokuqaphela ukuba uyakuphepha ngokwenyama. Umzekelo,

• Ukunqumla isitrato ngokukubona
• Ukudada emva komntu
• Ukuguqula indlela eyahlukileyo xa usondela
• Ukujonga kude ukuphepha ukudibana kwamehlo

Ngoku, i ubonisa ukuba umfana akanamdla kuwe ayikwazanga ukucaca ngakumbi. Olu tyekelo ludla ngokuphepha ngabom. Ukuba ububuza, "Kuthetha ukuthini xa umfana ehamba xa ekubona?", Impendulo ecacileyo ithi: akafuni ukusebenzisana. Uya kwenza nantoni na ukunqanda incoko. Le ndlela yokuziphatha imalunga nokuzikhusela kwicala lakhe. Kunokuba abe kwimeko engathandekiyo, kungcono abaleke. Ayilophawu lulungileyo kuwe. Kusenokuthetha ukuba akanamdla wokuqhubana nawe kuyo nayiphi na imeko.

9. Uzigcina iincoko zikumgangatho ophezulu

Olona phawu lubalulekileyo kukuba yonke into ayithethayo ayintsonkothanga.

• Uyakuphepha ukwabelana nantoni na yobuqu okanye ukubandakanyeka kwiingxoxo ezinzulu nawe
• Ukuba akakubuzi ngobomi bakho, akasoze akhumbule iinkcukacha ozabelene ngazo, kwaye ugcine i-chitchat incinci, ngumqondiso wokuba uyekile.
• Unokuphendula imibuzo yakho ngeempendulo zegama elinye okanye atshintshe ngokukhawuleza izihloko xa izinto ziba “nzulu” kakhulu.
• Ukuphatha ngokusisiseko ukuncokola nawe ngokufanayo nokuthetha nomntu ongamaziyo

Akunjalo xa umntu ekuthanda. Xa kunjalo, ebeya kufuna amathuba okuthetha nawe, athethe nawe ngokwenene. 

10. Uyagqabhuka kwizicwangciso okanye akwenze umleqe

Xa engakuthandi, akayi kwenza mzamo wokuchitha ixesha nawe.

• Usenokummema ngaphandle, kodwa uhlala esithi uxakekile kwaye akaze acebise omnye umhla
• Uyathula kunomathotholo emva kokuba izicwangciso zicinyiwe
• Indoda engakhathaliyo isebenzisa ukuxakeka okanye ukuzithethelela njengekhaka
• Usenokuyamkela i-hangout nje ekuqaleni, kodwa emva koko abe “zixakeke” ngendlela engakholelekiyo xa ilixesha lokuqinisekisa.

Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba wenza wonke umsebenzi ukulungelelanisa, kwaye akazange anyathele phezulu, yenye yezona zinamandla iiflegi ezibomvu kwinqanaba lokuthetha okanye amanqanaba okuqala oqhagamshelwano oluphuhlayo.

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11. Akadibanisi nawe ngqo emntwini

Olu luhlobo olunxulumene no "uthi molo, emva koko uyahamba," kodwa ngokubanzi.

• Xa nikwigumbi elinye okanye nihamba kunye, uhlala ethule ngendlela engaqhelekanga okanye ephazamisekile
• Unokuthetha naye wonke umntu okufutshane, kodwa akakwazi kuthetha nawe
• Usenokuziphepha ngokupheleleyo iimeko zomntu ngamnye
• Ukuba uzama ukumtsalela ecaleni ukuze nithethe, ufumana indlela yokuphuma okanye atshintshe

Olu hlobo lokuziphatha lwahlukile kwiintloni. Wala ukunxulumana nawe ngokuthe ngqo.

12. Unamathela kwiingxoxo zeqela okanye kwimidiya yoluntu

Ngendlela efanayo, jonga indlela yakhe yonxibelelwano ayikhethayo.

• Umntu ongenamdla unokusebenzisana kuphela ngemiyalezo yeqela okanye ngeposi yemidiya yoluntu, hayi bucala
• Usenokuthanda ifoto yakho ye-Instagram okanye ugqabaze kwincoko yeqela, kodwa uya kuqaphela ukuba akakhe akuphose ngqo
• Okanye ukuba uthumela umyalezo kwi-intanethi, imfutshane kwaye ayijiki ibe yincoko yokwenyani

Ngokusisiseko, uyigcina ingenabuntu. Ukuba akazimiselanga ukuchola ifowuni okanye abe nencoko yedwa, isoloko ibangelwa kukuba akanamdla wokwenene.

13. Uncwasa amanye amantombazana ngokuphandle

Mhlawumbi olona phawu lucacileyo lokuba umfana akanamdla kuwe kukuba udlala ngothando okanye ubonakala ephandle utsaleleke kwabanye abafazi ngelixa ulapho.

• Uyazihleka iziqhulo zabo
• Uyabancoma
• Izama ukufumana ingqalelo yabo
• Okubi nangakumbi kukuba, usenokukuphatha njengomnye “umhlobo” nje.

Ukuba umbona enika inkangeleko ezimnandi okanye iitekisi komnye umntu, oko kufanele kukuxelela yonke into. Xa umfana ekuthanda, akayi kukuhoya ezinye iindlela. Kunoko, uya kwenza kucace ukuba nguwe wedwa. Ngoko ukuba unomdla ngokucacileyo komnye umntu ngelixa engathathi hlangothi ngokupheleleyo kuwe, lixesha lokuba uqhubeke.

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Nje ukuba ufumanise ukuba ukuziphatha kwakhe kuxhomekeke kwiintloni okanye ukungathandi, umbuzo uba: kufuneka uphendule njani? Kulula ukubanjwa ukuba ucinge kakhulu ngayo yonke inkangeleko okanye ukuthula, kodwa inyani yona ithe ngqo. Ukuba iimpawu zakhe zibonisa ukuba uneentloni kodwa uyazama, ukhuthazo oluncinane oluvela kwicala lakho lunokwenza izinto zibe lula kuye. Kwelinye icala, ukuba akabonakalisi mzamo kwaphela, unetyala kuwe ukuba umke.

Ukuba uneentloni kodwa unomdla

Xa ufumanisa ukuba imithambo-luvo yakhe kuphela kwento embambileyo, indima yakho asikokuleqa okanye nokuba kukuleqa dlala nzima ukufumana ukuze ufumane ingqalelo yakhe, kodwa ukumnika igumbi elincinane ukuze azive ekhululekile. Amadoda aneentloni adla ngokufuna ukuqinisekiswa ngokuthantamisayo ukuba umdla wawo awungomkelwa. Uncumo lobubele, incoko encinane yokuqalisa incoko, okanye umzuzu okhululekileyo kunye kunokuthoba ingcinezelo kuze kumenze azive ekhuselekile ngokwaneleyo ukuba avuleleke.

• Uncume kwakhona: Uncumo olufudumeleyo lubonisa ukuba ukulungele ubukho bakhe kwaye lumnika ukuzithemba ukuba ahlale ethembisene ngomtshato. Isazi ngengqondo uGqr. Wendy Patrick sithi, “Abantu abaneentloni banxibelelana ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, kodwa ukubonakalisa ulwamkelo kunokubakhuthaza ukuba bathabathe inyathelo eliya phambili.”
• Qala iincoko ezilula: Yiza nezihloko ezilula njenge-meme ehlekisayo, imuvi yamva nje, okanye into eyenzekayo ngakuwe. Amadoda aneentloni adla ngokutsala nzima ukuqalisa incoko, kodwa xa uwaphula loo mkhenkce, loo nto iyawanceda avuleleke ngokuthe chu ngaphandle koxinzelelo
• Yenza amathuba omntu omnye: Cebisa iindawo ophumle kuzo apho angaziva ejongiwe. Isitshixo esisezantsi umhla wekofu oko kuvakala ngathi ngabantu ababini abahleliyo, behamba besiya eklasini, okanye benze umsebenzi omncinci kunye. UGqr. Bhonsle uthi, “Abantu abaneentloni baziva bekhuselekile xa bengabonwa, yaye ukusondelelana kudla ngokuzola.
• Yazisa iinzame ezincinci: Ukuba uyazikhumbula iinkcukacha ozithethileyo okanye akakuthandi kangako, mbonise uxabiso lokwenene. Ibethelela into yokuba imigudu yakhe, nokuba mincinane kangakanani na, iyabonwa kwaye ixatyiswe. Kumadoda aneentloni, oko kuqinisekiswa kuhamba indlela ende ekwakheni ukuzithemba
• Yehlisa imithambo-luvo yakhe: Musa ukumnyanzela ukuba athethe amazwi akhaliphileyo. Amazwi ambalwa obubele okanye ukuhleka ngokulula kwiziqhulo zakhe kunokumqinisekisa ukuba uyakhululeka xa ekholiswa bubundlavini. Ngokuhamba kwexesha, ezo ziqinisekiso zincinci zimnceda athembe unxibelelwano

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Ukuba akanamdla

Ukuba indlela aziphatha ngayo ayibonisi migudu okanye inyameko yokwenene, elona nyathelo lilungileyo kukukhusela olwakho uxolo. Kuyahenda ukuqhubeka nokuthethelela umgama wakhe, kodwa ukungakhathali yimpendulo yayo ecacileyo. Awudingi ukutyhala okanye uhlale unethemba. Ikutsalela ekunxungupheleni kuphela. Ngamanye amaxesha eyona ntshukumo isempilweni kukuyamkela, ziyeke iimvakalelo zakho, kwaye uhambe.

• Qaphela iipateni zakhe: Nika ingqalelo ukuhambelana. Ukuba akazange aqalise, arhoxise ngokuphindaphindiweyo, okanye agcine izinto zikumgangatho ophezulu, yimpendulo yakho leyo. UGqr. Bhonsle uthi, “Unxibelelwano olulinganiselweyo lolona phawu lucacileyo lokuncipha komdla.”
• Yeka ukutyala imali ngokugqithisileyo: Ukuba isoloko inguye ozama ukufikelela okanye uceba, buya umva. Uthando kufuneka luvane, kungabi ngathi utsala umntu. Okukhona unikela ngaphandle kwembuyekezo, kokukhona uya kuziva udiniwe
• Wuxabise umgudu: Gxininisa kunxibelelwano apho omnye umntu ebonisa ukuba ufuna ukuba lapho. A ubudlelwane obuphilileyo yakhelwe phezu kokubuyisana, kwaye ufanelwe ngumntu otyala imali kuwe
• Yahlula imbeko kumtsalane: Musa ukubhidanisa u-“hi” okhawulezayo, uncumo, okanye intetho encinci yobuhlobo enomdla wokwenene. Imbeko yinxalenye yokuziphatha kwentlalo. Ayisoloko inentsingiselo yothando
• Zibeke kwindawo yokuqala: Kusenokuhlaba ukwazi ukuba umntu akakho kuwe, kodwa ukuhamba kukhulula indawo yeemvakalelo ukuze ube nobudlelwane obunempilo. Zikhumbuze ukuba ukucaca, nokuba kubuhlungu, kungcono kunokukhupha ukungaqiniseki

Iingcinga Final

Njengoko ubona, "Ngaba uneentloni okanye akanamdla?", Ayiyonto inzima ocinga ukuba yiyo. Ukuziphatha komfana kwezi meko zimbini ezahlukeneyo kuxela kakhulu. Ilizwi elingcangcazelayo lendoda eneentloni, uncumo olukhawulezayo, okanye imfihlo ikhangeleka ngathi iyakhathala kodwa inovalo. Indoda engenamdla, ngakolunye uhlangothi, iya kukunika ihlombe elibandayo ngokuqhubekayo. Ke, ngoku, lixesha lokuba uzibuze umbuzo onzima: loluphi udidi ukuziphatha kwakhe kufanelekile? Ukuba ubonakalisa iintloni, mhlawumbi ufuna ukhuthazo oluncinane oluvela kuwe. Ukuba ubonakalisa iimpawu zokungabi namdla, isenokuba lixesha lokwamkela inyaniso.

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