Imibuzo Engamaqhinga Onokuyibuza Umntu Okhohlisayo: Imibuzo Engama-40 Ehlakaniphileyo Yokutyhila Inyaniso

Xa kuvela iingxaki zokurhanela nokuthembana kubudlelwane, abantu abaninzi babhenela ekubuzeni imibuzo enzima kubudlelwane kunokuba batyhole ngokuthe ngqo. Ucinga ngemibuzo yobuqhetseba yokubuza umntu okhohlisayo kuba ukwenza ingxabano epheleleyo kunzima ngokweemvakalelo. Endaweni yokutyhola iqabane lakho ngokukhohlisa, le mibuzo engathanga ngqo ikuvumela ukuba ubone iimpendulo zalo kwaye ubone ukungangqinelani okanye iimpawu zokuba netyala. 

Isebenza Njani Le Mibuzo Ingamaqhinga?

Ngokwengqondo, kufuneka uqeqesho oluninzi lwengqondo ukuze umntu axoke. Umntu oye wakopa kufuneka: 

• Cinezela inyaniso
• Iinkcukacha ezenziweyo
• Kwaye ugcine umkhondo wewebhu yabo yobuxoki 

Imibuzo engaqhelekanga okanye engaqhelekanga inokubabeka phantsi koxinzelelo, ibangele ukuphambuka. Nantsi isizathu sokuba le mibuzo isebenze:

• Uvavanyo lwenkumbulo: Ukubuza umbuzo ongabhalwanga kakuhle kuyabanyanzela ukuba bakhumbule iinkcukacha. Amaxoki asenokulibala iinkcukacha ezincinci okanye enze iimpazamo phantsi koxinzelelo
• Ukubona izinto eziphikisanayo: Xa enyanzelekile ukuba aphendule ngokungalindelekanga, iqabane elikhohlisayo linokuphikisana neenkcukacha ababezabelane ngazo ngaphambili. Amabali angangqinelaniyo adla ngokuthetha ukuba bayaxoka
• Iimpawu zolwimi lomzimba: Iimpawu ezingezizo ezivakalisini nazo ziyindlela entle yokubona. Abantu abakhohlisayo badla ngokubonisa ulwimi lomzimba oluphazamisayo njengokungakhathali, ukubila, ukugoba iingalo ngokuzikhusela, okanye ukuphepha ukudibana emehlweni.
• Iimpendulo zeemvakalelo: Umsindo okanye ukuzikhusela ngequbuliso xa ubuzwa umbuzo olula yinto iflegi ebomvuIimpendulo ezirhabaxa okanye ezihlekisayo ngokungaqhelekanga zinokubonisa ukuziva unetyala okanye ukuzama ukuthintela ukurhanelwa

Ngale mibuzo inokubachukumisa bengalindelanga, usebenzisa ithuba lomzamo wengqondo owongezelelweyo ofunekayo ukuze uxoke. Phantsi koxinzelelo, amaxoki asenokukhubeka, atshintshe ibali lawo, okanye abonise ukuziphatha okunetyala ukuba abanjwe bengalindelanga.

Iimpawu zokuba iqabane lakho linokukopela

Ubuya kubuza le mibuzo yobuqili kuphela kwiqabane lakho ukuba ukrokrela ukuba liyakopela, akunjalo? Uyifumene njani loo ngxaki kwasekuqaleni? Nazi ezinye zeempawu eziqhelekileyo zokungathembeki kulwalamano ekufuneka uziqwalasele:  

• Ukwanda kwemfihlo ngefowuni okanye ikhompyutha kuquka nokucima imiyalezo, imiyalezo eyimfihlo, kunye nokufihla umsebenzi wefowuni
• Ukungabikho emsebenzini okanye ukuhlala kade emsebenzini ngaphandle kwesizathu
• Ukutshintsha ngokukhawuleza kwesiqhelo
• Umgama ngokweemvakalelo
• Ukuzikhusela okanye ukucaphuka ngokungaqhelekanga xa ubuzwa ngeenkcukacha eziqhelekileyo
• Ukukhangela i-intanethi ngamaxesha angaqhelekanga 
• Ngequbuliso ndikhathalele kakhulu ubumfihlo (ukutshixa izikrini, ukutshintsha amagama ayimfihlo) 

Nangona kungekho nanye kwezi zinto ithetha ukukopela okuqinisekisiweyo, ukudibana kwazo kunokubangela inkxalabo. Ngoko ke musa ukucinga kakhulu kodwa ungabi nangqondo kakhulu.

Imibuzo engama-40 yobuqhetseba yokubuza umntu okhohlisayo

Ngoku, masize kwingxaki ephambili. Umbamba njani umntu okhohlisayo ngobuxoki babo? Nazi imibuzo engama-40 ecwangcisiweyo yokubuza umntu okhohlisayo, eyahlulwe ngokweendidi. Yisebenzise ngobuchule kwincoko eqhelekileyo ukuze ulinganise indlela iqabane lakho elisabela ngayo kwaye ubone ukungangqinelani.

Imibuzo engenatyala nje

Le mibuzo ivakala ingenabungozi kwaye ingaqhelekanga kodwa inokumenza umntu okhohlisayo angalindelanga kuba ifuna iqabane lakho likhumbule iinkcukacha ezininzi ezincinci. Le mibuzo ikwangena ngokwemvelo kwincoko yemihla ngemihla ukuze umntu okhohlisayo angaqondi ukuba urhanelwa.

1. “Wenze ntoni emva komsebenzi namhlanje?” 
2. “Ubunabani kwisidlo sasemini izolo?” 
3. "Kutheni ubukwi-intanethi ebusuku kangaka?" 
4. "Bekunjani ngosuku lwakho? Ngaba kukho into engaqhelekanga?" 
5. "Ungandihambisa ubusuku bakho izolo ebusuku?" 
6. “Ndibone umyalezo ovela ku-[igama lomhlobo]. Yayimalunga nantoni loo nto?” 
7. “Ngubani lowo mntu mtsha oqhagamshelana naye kwifowuni yakho phantsi kwesiqalo nje?” 
8. "Ngaba kukho amaphupha anomdla kutshanje?" 

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Imibuzo yexesha

Le mibuzo ibanyanzela ukuba bacacise ixesha kunye neenkcukacha, nto leyo edla ngokukhokelela kwiimpendulo ezingangqinelaniyo ukuba bakhe baxoka ngaphambili.

9. "Uphume nini kanye kanye eofisini izolo?" 
10. “Ngubani obekunye nawe xa ubusuka emsebenzini izolo ebusuku?” 
11. “Ufike nini ekhaya? Ndicinga ukuba ndikuvile kamva efowunini” 
12. "Kutheni utshintshe indlela oqhele ukwenza ngayo izinto ngoLwesithathu? Ubuye ekhaya kamva kakhulu" 
13. “Xa besithetha okokugqibela ngezicwangciso zangoLwesihlanu, uthe [A]. Ingaba kukho into eyenzekileyo?” 
14. "Ndizamile ukukufowunela ngentsimbi yesi-8 ebusuku, kodwa yangena kwi-voicemail. Ubuphi kanye kanye?"
15. “Uthe uza kukhululeka ngentsimbi ye-9pm, kodwa ubungekho ekhaya de kube yintsimbi ye-10. Kwenzeke ntoni phakathi?” 
16. "Ugqibele nini ukumbona [umhlobo/umntu osebenza naye obandakanyekayo]? Ngaba banxulumene neshedyuli yakho entsha?" 

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Imibuzo yeendaba zoluntu kunye nefowuni

Le mibuzo igxila kwindlela yedijithali yobudlelwane. Le inokubangela ukuba bazithethelele okanye babe nomsindo ukuba ukufihla into.

17. “Ndiqaphele ukuba [umntu] uyithandile ifoto yakho izolo ebusuku. Umazi njani?” 
18. "Ifowuni yakho ikhwaze ngaphambili isuka kwinombolo ongayaziyo; ngubani lowo?" 
19. "Bekukho igama lomntu endingamqhelanga endilifumeneyo kwifowuni yakho. Ungakhathazeki ukundixelela ukuba bangoobani?"
20. "Kutheni ucime loo myalezo ngaphambi kokuba ndiwubone?" 
21. "Ngaba kukho isizathu sokuba iincoko ezithile okanye iincoko zeqela zifihlwe kwifowuni yakho?" 
22. “Ngaba ulibonile ibali lika-[X] kwi-Instagram? Awuphendulanga” 
23. "Ngubani umntu okumfanekiso weprofayili [yemfihlakalo]?" ukuthandana app okanye iprofayili yoluntu oyifumeneyo]? 
24. "Ndikubonile ukuba ubusebenza kwi [social app] ezinzulwini zobusuku. Kwakusenzeka ntoni ke ngoko?" 

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Imibuzo eqikelelwayo

ezi imibuzo ecingelwayo Ukukhohlisa kwifreyimu kwimeko ecingelwayo. Bangabonisa indlela iqabane lakho elicinga okanye elivakalelwa ngayo ngokungathembeki ngaphandle kokulityhola.

25. "Ukuba umntu emsebenzini ebeneemvakalelo ngawe, ungandixelela ngaloo nto?" 
26. “Ubungenza ntoni ukuba umntu osebenza naye uqala ukukuncwasa?” 
27. "Ucinga ukuba ukukopa ngokweemvakalelo kubalulekile? Njengokuthumelelana imiyalezo nomntu wangaphambili ngamanye amaxesha?" 
28. “Ukuba ngequbuliso ndingaqala ukuzenza imfihlo, ubuya kuthini?” 
29. “Zeziphi ezinye zezinto ocinga ukuba zinokulinga umntu ukuba akope?” 
30. "Ubungasabela njani ukuba bendingakuxelela ukuba ndiziva ndingaqinisekanga ngolwalamano lwethu?" 
31. “Ukuba ukhe wakopa ungandixelelanga, ucinga ukuba kufuneka kwenzeke ntoni?” 
32. "Ungandixolela na ukuba ndithe ndakungcatsha?" 

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Imibuzo ye-Reverse Psychology

Le mibuzo ibubulumko ngakumbi kuba iqhuba ngokuthembana okanye inciphisa iingxaki zakho, nto leyo ebangela ukuba iqabane lakho liphendule ngokuzithethelela kakhulu.

33. "Ubungandixelela ukuba kukho into ethile ngokwenene akulunganga kulwalamano, kunene?" 
34. “Yonke into ilungile kuwe nakumhlobo wakho wangaphambili, akunjalo?” 
35. “Awuziva unyanzelekile ukundifihlela nantoni na, akunjalo?” 
36. "Ndiyazi ukuba uyayixabisa into yokunyaniseka. Ngoko ke ukuba bendinokubuza ukuba wakha wandixokisa, ubuya kunyaniseka?" 
37. “Awukaze ucinge ngokukopa, akunjalo?” 
38. "Ndikuthemba ngokupheleleyo. Nawe undithemba ngendlela efanayo, akunjalo?" 
39. “Akunyanzelekanga ukuba undivulele ifowuni yakho ukuba awufuni—ingaba sisavumelana?” 
40. "Awufuni ndicinge ukuba yinto embi kakhulu ngawe, akunjalo?" 

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Indlela Yokubuza Le Mibuzo Ngaphandle Kokuqala Ukulwa

Nokuba imibuzo ebhalwe ngocoselelo ingavakala ngathi iyamtyhola umntu xa ebuzwa ngomsindo, ngokungqalileyo, okanye ngequbuliso. Kufuneka ufumane ithoni nexesha elifanelekileyo ukuba awufuni ukuqhubekisela phambili umcimbi ngaphandle kokwazi inyaniso epheleleyo. Nazi ezinye iingcebiso zendlela yokumphendula ngale mibuzo:

• Fumana ixesha labucala xa nobabini ningenaxinzelelo kangako
• Hlala uphole
• Gcina ulwimi lomzimba wakho luvulekile ukuze uphephe ukuzikhusela
• Thetha ngethoni engathathi cala
• Kwaye ubuze umbuzo omnye ngexesha
• Musa ukubuza imibuzo emininzi ngaxeshanye njengodliwanondlebe lophando
• Ukuba iqabane lakho liyazikhusela okanye liyacaphuka, hlala uzolile
• Musa ukuhlasela okanye yenza izigqibo ezigqibeleleyo ngexesha lobushushu. Zinike ixesha lakho lokugqiba ukuba ufuna ukwenza ntoni ngokulandelayo 

Zeziphi Iimpendulo Okufanele Uzijonge

Ngemibuzo enje, usenokungafumani mpendulo iphikisanayo okanye uvumo oluthe ngqo kwaye ube nexesha lakho 'ewe'. Okunokwenzeka kakhulu kukuba baza kuzama ukuzithethelela okanye ukungqina ukuba bamsulwa kodwa ulwimi lwabo lomzimba luya kubangcatsha. Ngoko ke, xa ubuza le mibuzo, lijonge ngokusondeleyo iqabane lakho. Ezinye iimpendulo zinokuba luncedo kakhulu:

impendulo	Oko Elinokukuthetha
Ukuzikhusela ngokugqithisileyo okanye ukuba nomsindo	Oku kungaba ngumphumo wetyala okanye ukungonwabi
Ibali elitshintshayo okanye elingangqinelaniyo	Oku kuthetha ukuba bayaziqamba izinto ngoku okanye babexokile ngaphambili baze balibala iinkcukacha.
Ukuphepha ukubonwa ngamehlo	Olu luphawu oluqhelekileyo loloyiko okanye ukuphepha
Ukungqunga okugqithisileyo	Yixhala elo; kukho into abayifihlayo kwaye baxhalabile ngokubanjwa
Ukuguqula umbuzo	Indlela eqhelekileyo yokuphambuka; bazama ukuhlasela umbuzo wakho endaweni yoko ukuze bakuphazamise kwaye baphephe ukuphendula
Ubuxoki obukhawulezileyo obuqinisekisayo	Abaninzi kakhulu amazwi amnandi kusenokwenzeka ukuba kukubuyisela umva ityala ngokugqithisileyo

Okufanele Ukwenze Ukuba Ufumanisa Ukukopela

Ukuba imibuzo yakho yamaqhinga ibonisa ubungqina bokungathembeki okanye uqinisekile, thabatha amanyathelo aqikelelweyo endaweni yokusabela ngokungxama. 

• Okokuqala, qokelela iinyani uze uhlale uzolile. Ukutsiba ujongane nokungabikho kobungqina kudla ngokubangela ukuba izinto zibuyele esiqhelweni. 
• Jonga iimpendulo zeqabane lakho ukuze ubone ukuba azingqinelani na kwaye ubone ukuba kukho naziphi na ezingachanekanga
• Gcina irekhodi ecacileyo yoko kuthethiweyo
• Okulandelayo, zilungiselele ngokweemvakalelo; ukungathembeki kubangela umvandedwa, ngoko ke qiniseka ukuba ufumana inkxaso evela kubahlobo, kusapho, okanye nakumcebisi.
• Wakuba uqinisekile ngeenyaniso, zijonge uze uthethe ngokunzulu

Gcina uzolile; ukulahlekelwa lulawulo kunokuchaphazela ukuma kwakho kwaye kubanike amandla

• Okokugqibela, thatha isigqibo ngamanyathelo alandelayo olwalamano lwakho. Ukungathembeki kunokuthetha izinto ezahlukeneyo kwizibini ezahlukeneyo 
• Ukhetho lwakho luya kuxhomekeka kubunzulu bokungcatshwa kunye nokuzimisela kwamaqabane omabini ukusebenza kuko 
• Ukuba iqabane lakho libonisa ukuzisola kwaye bobabini bazibophelela ekungafihlisi nto, abanye abantu abatshatileyo bade yakha kwakhona ukuthembana okuqinileyo 
• Nokuba kunjalo, qiniseka ukuba ubeka impilo-ntle yakho phambili. Thembela kubahlobo abathembekileyo okanye kugqirha wengqondo ukuze akwazi ukumelana nentlungu yeemvakalelo aze akuncede wenze isigqibo esifanelekileyo ngekamva lakho.

Iimpazamo eziqhelekileyo xa uzama ukubamba umntu okhohlisayo

Sigubungele zonke iinkalo ezahlukeneyo zento omele uyenze. Kodwa singathanda ukukulumkisa ngezinye zeempazamo eziqhelekileyo ezenziwa ngabantu. Ezi mpazamo zingayenza mandundu imeko ngoko ke kufuneka uzame ukuziphepha. 

• Ukutyhola ngaphandle kobungqina: Ukuba ujongene nengxaki ethi “Ndiyazi ukuba ukhohlisile,” iqabane lakho lisenokuvala okanye likhanyele yonke into. Ngoko ke, qala ufumane ubungqina obuqinileyo ukuze bangakugxeki.

"Fumana ubungqina obuqinisekileyo kuqala. Emva koko bonana negqwetha. Emva koko yahlula iiakhawunti zakho zebhanki. Fumana zonke izinto zakho zilandelelana NGAPHAMBI kokuba ujongane nazo."

- Umsebenzisi weReddit

• Ukungena kwizixhobo zabo ngokufihlakeleyo: Ukujonga ifowuni okanye i-imeyile ngaphandle kwemvume kunokutshabalalisa ukuthembana kwaye kungabi mthethweni kwezinye iindawo. Akunakuqinisekisa nto ukuba sele becimile ubungqina.
• Ukuxakeka ngemibuzo emininzi kakhulu: Ilizwi elikhawulezayo okanye elivakala ngathi libuza imibuzo livuselela ukuzikhusela kwaye linokubenza bakhuseleke. Yilungiselele imibuzo yakho ngendlela eqhelekileyo.
• Ukutsiba kwizigqibo ngokukhawuleza kakhulu: Iintshukumo zokuphendula ezifana nokutshintsha amaqhaga akho, ukuphuma ngoko nangoko, njl.njl. zinokuvala imigca yonxibelelwano. Okokuqala zama ukubuza ngokuzolileyo, uze ucwangcise amanyathelo alandelayo ngokucacileyo. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ukwimeko ubudlelwane obuxhaphazayo kwaye uzive ngathi ukucela ngokuthe ngqo kunokukubeka esichengeni, beka ukhuseleko lwakho kuqala kwaye wenze oko kuvakala kulungile
• Ukuba neemvakalelo okanye impindezelo: Ukukhwaza, ukukhala, okanye ukucwangcisa impindezelo kuyandisa ingxabano. Kubuhlungu, kodwa zama ukuhlala uthembekile kwaye uthule ukuze ukwazi ukwenza izigqibo ezifanelekileyo.

Ngokuphepha ezi mpazamo ziqhelekileyo, ugcina umgangatho wokuziphatha ophezulu kwaye ugcina ucango luvulekile lwenyaniso, ingxoxo, okanye isisombululo, endaweni yokutshabalalisa yonke into.

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Iingcinga Final

Ukuqhathwa kuyabuhlungu kwaye ukuba ukrokrela ukuba iqabane lakho lifihla into ethile, siyaxolisa ukuba udlula kule meko. Nangona kunjalo, ayizizo zonke iixoki ezithetha ukuba ziyaqhatha. Ukuqinisekisa ukukrokrela kwakho, sinikeze uluhlu lwemibuzo onokuyibuza iqabane lakho. Wakuba uqinisekile kwaye unobungqina obaneleyo, qinisekisa ngokuthe ngqo kwaye uthathe isigqibo sokuba ufuna ukujongana njani nale meko.

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Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.