Amanqanaba amahlanu obudlelwane obusondeleyo-Fumana apho ukhoyo!

Ubudlelwane obusondeleyo bungaphezulu kwesondo kunye negumbi lokulala. Kungokweemvakalelo kanye njengokwasemzimbeni. Kuthiwa inqanaba lobudlelwane liqala ukusuka ekuqaleni kobudlelwane kwaye kunokuthatha iminyaka emihlanu ukufikelela kwinqanaba lokugqibela lothando. Nangona kunokubonakala kubudlelwane ukuba ubuhlobo obusondeleyo buqala ukutshisa, ukunakekelwa okuyimfuneko kunye nokuncamathela ngaphandle mhlawumbi ezinye zeendlela zokujongana nayo.

Abanye abantu bakholelwa ukuba ukusondelelana ngokwasemzimbeni yeyokwexeshana kwaye eyona nto iseleyo lumanyano ngokwasengqondweni olubangela umanyano oludibana nezibini kwixesha elide. Kodwa uthando kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo buhamba ngezigaba kwaye ukusondelana ngokomzimba nangokweemvakalelo kunxulumene.

Akukho nto iphikayo into yokuba umzimba kunye nengqondo zinxibelelene kwaye izibini ezinandipha ubuhlobo obusondeleyo ngokwasemzimbeni zihlala zivakala ngakumbi ngokweemvakalelo kwaye zonwabile.

Amanqanaba amahlanu obudlelwane obusondeleyo

Kodwa awuphumeleli ukudibana kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo ngosuku olunye, okanye iveki okanye inyanga. Yinkqubo ohamba kuyo, kwaye kukho izigaba zokusondelelana onokuthi uzifumane ukuyo ngelixa uhamba ngobudlelwane bakho. Nanga amanqanaba onokuthi ufune ukuziqhelanisa nawo, ukwazi ukuba wena neqabane lakho nime phi kwizigaba zokuthandana.

1. Okokuqala kuvela intabatheko

Esi sisiqalo esiswiti esinesiraphu kubo bonke ubudlelwane. Yonke into ngamabhabhathane kunye nezulu. Imvakalelo emangalisayo yokusondelana, ukucinga ngeqabane, ukujonga ifowuni rhoqo kwimizuzu emihlanu, ukukhangela ifowuni ngeeyure kunye nokuthenga izinto ezithandekayo. Abantu kweli nqanaba, babelana ngesondo rhoqo njengobungqina bokuthandana. Ngamanye amaxesha isini silungile, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha, asifiki kwinqanaba. Amanqanaba e-dopamine ayavutha, kwaye akukho nto ivakalelwa kakubi. Sisiqalo sobudlelwane apho sihamba ngathi, "Ugqibelele kakhulu", "Ndiza kutshata naye kwaye sibe nabantwana abahle kunye naye", "Sinezinto ezininzi ezifanayo, OMG!"

Inqanaba eliphezulu le-dopamine lenza ukuba umzimba unqwenele ukwabelana ngesondo ngokuphindaphindiweyo; Uvuyo alunakuthelekiswa nanto. Intabatheko ifana nokuwa ngokukhululekileyo, kwaye asikhe sibonakale ngathi siyafika. Eli nqanaba limalunga nemibongo, malunga nezipho zeepesika kunye uthando olushushu nolunzima kubushushu basemva kwemini – yimvakalelo entle.

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2. Ukufika okukrakra

Emva kohambo olumangalisayo lokubhabha ngeemvakalelo zezulu, kufika okoyikeka kokufika. Umsi wesini esingapheliyo kunye neemvakalelo ezivuyayo zicacile ukunika ukuqonda okunzulu kobudlelwane.

Sinokucinga ngezinye izinto kwaye sisoloko sibanjwa sicinga ukuba yonke into kubudlelwane bethu ilungile ekubeni ungasoloko ucinga ngeqabane lakho. Kulapho ukuqonda kokwenyani kobomi kuqala.

Kweli nqanaba, ukungqengqa ebhedini ayisilingo njengoko ubomi kufuneka buqale kwakhona, kwaye amaqabane aqala ukuyiqonda le nto. Unokumthanda umntu kodwa, ngokungafaniyo nenqanaba langaphambili, uyacaphuka ngenxa yezinto ezimbalwa azenzayo. Sibona amaqabane ethu ngokukhanya okutsha. Kusenokubakho iintanda kweli nqanaba. Kukukwenza okanye ukwaphule ixesha lobudlelwane. Indawo yokumisa inokuba ngamatye kwaye ingazinzi, kwaye umsebenzi omninzi uyafuneka ukuze udlule kweli nqanaba. Undoqo kukunganikezeli.

Ngamanye amazwi, eli linqanaba lokuvuswa xa intliziyo iqala ukucotha, kwaye kufuneka uphume ebhedini kwaye ucinge ngegrosari kunye namatyala okunyamekela. Linqanaba apho unokufumanisa ukuba uhambelana kangakanani, ngandlela zonke, ngokwasemzimbeni nasemphefumlweni.

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3. Ukungcwatywa

Igama lifanelekile njengoko ubudlelwane buhlala bungcwatywa phantsi koxanduva - njengegrosari, izinto ekufuneka zenziwe, abasebukhweni, umsebenzi, kunye nobomi obunyakazelayo kwisiqithi sobudlelwane. Linqanaba lokwenyani njengoko lisisikhumbuzo sokuba ngelixa sikwiholide kwi-utopia, ubomi busaqhubeka.

Ukungcwaba amatshaneli ubudlelwane kubomi besiqhelo kwaye ubudlelwane buba yinyani ngakumbi. Kuya kuba lula ukushiya ubudlelwane ukuze uthathe ikhondo labo kwaye uthathe ubomi njengangaphambili, kodwa kuyacetyiswa ukuba usebenze kuzo zombini ngaxeshanye.

Ukungazingcwabi isiqu sakho kubalulekile kodwa akukho nto icacileyo. Thenga amathoyizi ngesondo, khumbula umhla wakho wokuqala kwaye ube rhabaxa ngamanye amaxesha. Oku kufana kakhulu nenxalenye yokuqala yobudlelwane, ngaphandle, ukuba ngoku nazana ngcono kakhulu. Lixesha elilungileyo lokukhaba-ukuqala izenzo zesondo ukuze uqalise ukuvuselela ubudlelwane bakho.

Le nxalenye yokungangcwatywa kobudlelwane yeyona nto ibalulekileyo kuba eli linqanaba apho izinto zinokuqala ukukruqula. Uya kuzazi izinto oza kuzenza iqabane lakho ebhedini kunye neendlela oza kuphendula ngazo. Ngoko ukugcina umothuko uphila kubaluleke kakhulu. Funda phezulu, zama izikhundla ezahlukeneyo, yiya sexcations kwaye uzame kwishawari nakwitafile yasekhitshini. Eli linqanaba apho ngokweemvakalelo, usenokuphazamiseka ngenxa yoxanduva lwakho, kodwa kubalulekile ukunika ixesha omnye nomnye. Ukuphuma uye kwimiboniso bhanyabhanya, isidlo sangokuhlwa kunye nokuhamba kubalulekile okanye unokwenza nje Netflix Nokuba yeyiphi na imisebenzi qiniseka ukuba uchitha ixesha kunye nomnye kwaye awungcwatywa.

Indlela ojongana ngayo neli nqanaba lobudlelwane bomzimba kunye nebhondi ngokwasemoyeni iya kuba nefuthe lexesha elide kubudlelwane bakho.

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4. Ukuvuka

Ukuvela kwakhona kweemvakalelo ezindala kuqalisa kweli nqanaba. Njengokuthi “Ndiphantse ndalibala indlela akhangeleka emhle ngayo kwi-saree” okanye “Uyamangalisa, kodwa ndiyayithanda i-weirdo yam”. Amanqanaba angaphambili othando lwenkawu alandelwa kukuqonda oyena mntu unaye anokoyikisa abambalwa. Abambalwa banokubaleka ngaphambi kokuba bafike kweli nqanaba.

Eli nqanaba limalunga nokwamkela umntu, ukumthanda kunye nokuthanda okungaqhelekanga. Oku kufana nentabatheko kodwa ngokukhula ngakumbi noxanduva.

Ukuvela kwakhona kufana nombongo, umboniso bhanyabhanya onemibala eshukumayo, ukuntywila nzulu elwandle okanye ukujonga ngenene iinkwenkwezi zasebusuku emva kwexesha elide. Kukuvuselelwa kobudlelwane kuko konke ukuqaqamba kwayo.

Eli linqanaba elimangalisayo. Ukhuselekile ngakumbi kweli nqanaba lobudlelwane bakho, uyalazi iqabane lakho kakuhle, kwaye uzimisele ukuphinda uqalise ubudlelwane kwaye uqhubele phambili. Eli nqanaba apho izibini ziyakuthanda ukuhlola ngakumbi. Bahamba kunye, bathathe izinto ezintsha zokuzonwabisa okanye balinge kunye ekhitshini. Bahlala belungisa ingaphakathi lekhaya labo okanye bacinge ngokuthatha amathuba amatsha omsebenzi kunye nokuzinza kwindawo eyahlukileyo. Eli linqanaba apho ubudlelwane bomzimba bunike unxibelelwano olubalulekileyo.

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5. Uthando

Uninzi lwezibini ezitshatileyo ziyatsha zingekafiki kweli nqanaba. Ukukhanya ekupheleni kwetonela, i-oasis yokwenene kwintlango eyisanti, imvakalelo enamandla yothando yinqanaba lokugqibela lobudlelwane obusondeleyo. Imvakalelo yothando oluyolo ngumvuzo, kwaye iimvakalelo zinobubele kuba siyazibulela (kunye neenkwenkwezi zethu ezinethamsanqa) ngokwenza konke oko. “Ndisikeleleke kakhulu ukuba naye”, “andizange ndilwazi ukuba luyintoni na uthando, de ndamfumana”- ezi ziingcinga eziza ngokulula kweli nqanaba.

Uyayixabisa enye into yokuba bangoobani na iimfazwe kunye nazo zonke. Kwizigaba zobudlelwane obusondeleyo kubudlelwane, eli linqanaba apho uthando luyaqhakaza ngokwenene ukuqinisa kunye nokomeleza ubudlelwane kunye ne-aura yayo. Kuthatha ixesha ukuya kweli nqanaba, kwaye xa abantu befikelela kweli nqanaba, bayakuqonda ukuba sisigxina kobudlelwane. Eli nqanaba lingaphezulu malunga nokubamba izandla kunye nokubeka intloko yakhe emagxeni akhe, kodwa ukusondelana ngokomzimba kufuneka kube yinxalenye yeli nqanaba ukuqinisekisa ukuba ubudlelwane buhlala buqinile.

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