Ukuba ngabahlobo kunye ne-Ex Usathanda-Izinto ezi-8 ezinokuthi zenzeke

Ubomi abusoloko busenzeka ngendlela obuphupha ngayo. Mininzi kakhulu imiqobo ethe saa endleleni kwaye ngamanye amaxesha uyakhubeka. Ubudlelwane bothando obungasebenziyo, nokuba uzama kangakanani na, ngomnye umzekelo ongathandekiyo notyhafisayo wobomi obuphazamisana nezicwangciso zakho. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ngumhlobo nomntu osamthanda kunokuba buhlungu ngakumbi kunokwahlukana. Asingabo bonke abanokuthi bakhuphe a Usuku lukaJessica kunye noNick Miller, singa? 

Makhe sicinge umzuzwana ukuba uphulukene nazo zonke iimvakalelo zothando kunye / okanye ngokwesondo kwi-ex yakho kwaye ulungele ukubamkela njengomhlobo. Nokuba umntu wakho wangaphambili ebengumhlobo osenyongweni kangangeminyaka, usenokungakwazi ukulahla iinkumbulo ezikukhathazayo. Ngalo lonke ixesha uzijonga, zikukhumbuza into engazange yenzeke. Sheesh! Yindlela embi leyo.

Ngoku cinga, unokuba ngabahlobo kunye ne-ex ukuba usenayo iimvakalelo kubo? Abanye abantu bayakwazi ukuyikhupha. Bazicinezela iimvakalelo zabo kwindawo abangayi kubuyela kuyo baze baqhubeke benobuhlobo nomntu abasamthanda. Basenokude babe ne ex ebengumhlobo osenyongweni iminyaka. Ngelixa ukucinezela iimvakalelo zakho akuyona indlela ephilileyo yokuhlangabezana nayo, imeko enjalo, ukuba iphunyezwe ngokuvala ngokufanelekileyo kunye nokunyaniseka, yindawo enhle yokuba, ngokweemvakalelo. 

Izinto ezi-8 ezinokuthi zenzeke ukuba ungabahlobo kunye ne-Ex Usathanda 

Ngaba usenobuhlobo kunye ne-ex yakho kwaye ucinga ukuba yinto efanelekileyo yokwenza? Siyakuva. Ngokungathi ukuba uthando kunye ex yayingekabi nzima ngokwaneleyo; ukuba ngabahlobo kunye nabo kunokwandisa intlungu yakho. Nokuba nisebenza kunye okanye nifunda kwisikolo esinye, ukuba ngabahlobo kunye ne ex ayilunganga kwaye ineengxaki ezininzi. Ukuba nobabini niyinxalenye yesangqa esinye sabahlobo, kuya kufuneka nizenze umntu oqhelekileyo phakathi kwenu ngenxa yabanye.

Xa ubabona bekunye nomnye umntu, kuya kufuneka ujonge kwelinye icala wenze ngathi awuboni. Xa ubabona bejonge kuwe, ubuya kuthemba ngasese ukuba basalubuyisela uthando lwakho. Ukuba unokunxulumana nazo zonke ezi ziimeko, sivumele ukuba sidwelise izinto ezisi-8 ezinokuthi zenzeke ukuba ungabahlobo nomntu owayesamthanda:

Ukufumana ulwazi oluninzi oluxhaswa yingcaphephe, nceda ubhalisele yethu Isiteshi se-YouTube

1. Ekugqibeleni ungumntu osecaleni

Yintoni ebuhlungu njengokutshomana nomntu owayesamthanda kodwa angakuthandi? Ukuba ube ngomnye wabo. Bakujikeleza njengomntu ongakwaziyo ukubayeka nasemva kokuba ubudlelwane buphelile. Yivume okanye hayi, ukhulisa i-ego yabo. Bathandana nombono wokuba nomntu ophambeneyo malunga nabo kwaye bafowune.

Ikhuthaza ukulambatha kwabo kwaye ithoba ukuzithemba kwakho. Kukho ezimbalwa izinto ongafanelanga uziyeke kubudlelwane bakho. Ukuzithemba kwakho yenye yazo. Amatyeli alithoba kwalishumi awuzukuphela njengegorha ukuba ukhe waba secaleni labo okwethutyana. Uya kuhlala usecaleni de ufumane umntu omtsha.

Kungekudala baza kukuxelela ukuba bangakwazi njani ukuhlala nawe ngenxa yokuba iqabane labo langoku alikhululekanga. Kunceda ngantoni ukuba ngabahlobo ne-ex ekukhathazayo? Ngaba unokuba ngabahlobo bokwenene kunye nomntu owayethandana naye? Ngaba kukho naziphi na izizathu zokwenyani zokuba ngabahlobo kunye ne-ex yakho? Oko kuxhomekeke ekubeni yintoni na inkcazelo yakho 'yenyani' - ngokuqinisekileyo ayinakuba kukho umntu othatha ithuba ngawe.

Umbono kaBono: Ukuba ufuna iex yakho ikuphathe ngembeko, kufuneka uzihloniphe. Nokuba une ex ebengumhlobo osenyongweni iminyaka, khetha wena nesidima sakho. 

2. Awusoze uqhubele phambili

Ngaba asinto ixhaphakileyo into yokuba umntu angaze ayilibale into aqhubeka eyityelela? Esi sisizathu sokuba abaguli bomothuko bacelwe ukuba bafudukele ezixekweni okanye benze utshintsho olubalulekileyo lwendlela yokuphila. Xa uzisusa kwimeko, ixesha liphilisa amanxeba akho ngokukuvumela ukuba ulibale izinto ezininzi kwixesha lakho elidlulileyo. Ukuqhubela phambili kuyimfuneko kwinkqubo yokuphilisa.

Nangona oku kuvakala ngathi kukhohlakele, kubalulekile ukususa i-ex osamthanda ebomini bakho. Ubuncinci, kufuneka ucace imida yokuba ngabahlobo kunye ne-ex. Ukuba awenzi njalo, uya kushiywa uzaliswe ziimvakalelo ezintsonkothileyo nokudinwa engqondweni. Isikhokelela kulo mbuzo: Ngaba unokuba ngabahlobo bokwenene nomntu owayesakuba naye?

Ewe, yeka idrama kwaye uzinike indawo. Ixesha elikude kwi-ex yakho liya kukuvumela ukuba ufumane ishishini lakho ngendlela. Bekuya kukuphilisa ngcono kunokuba ube ngumhlobo nomntu othandana naye. Ukuba awukwazi ukuzilibala, zama ukuzigcina umgama ukusuka kuzo.

Umbono kaBono: Beka kuqala wena kunye nokuphiliswa kwakho, kwaye ucinge ngabanye. 

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Ngaba unokuba ngumhlobo kunye neetshomi ze-Ex yakho?

3. Basenokukubiza ngokuba “ngumhlobo wabo osenyongweni”

Ukudlala imidlalo yengqondo kunye nomntu owayesakuthandana nawe kufuneka kube yeyona qhinga likhohlakeleyo apho. Ngaba leyo yindlela oziphethe ngayo umntu wangaphambili kuwe? Unokuba ujike amehlo kubuhlobo obuyityhefu apha. Nokuba ex yakho ube ngumhlobo osenyongweni iminyaka, kufuneka wamkele into yokuba dynamics ziya kutshintsha.

Ukuba usazimisele ukuba abahlobo kunye ex usamthanda, siyanibongoza ukuba ubuncinane ingqalelo ukuba kutheni ex yakho ufuna ukuhlala abahlobo kunye nawe. Ngaba bakubiza ngokuba ngumhlobo wabo osenyongweni? Ngaba naningabahlobo abasenyongweni ngaphambi kobudlelwane benu okanye ngaba nje ukuba ilangatye lakho langaphambili alinamntu onokuguqukela kuye? Ngaba boyike kakhulu ukuba nesithukuthezi kangangokuba bangathanda ukuhlala bengabahlobo neqabane labo langaphambili? Ukuba uphendule yonke imibuzo ngo 'ewe', lixesha lokuba uqhubele phambili, sithandwa. 

Ukuba ubudlelwane bakho buphelile, kungcono ukucholachola amaqhekeza entliziyo yakho kwaye uwalungise ngokwakho kunokuvumela omnye umntu adlale ngawo. Nina nobabini aninako ukubuyelana njengabahlobo.

Umbono kaBono: I-dynamics yakho inyanzelekile ukuba itshintshe emva kokwahlukana kwaye ayibobulumko ukuyijonga ngeeglasi ezifanayo ezinetinted. 

4. Iingcinga ngazo azisuki engqondweni yakho

Ukwahlukana kukubiza ukuba uqhubele phambili kwi-ex yakho ngokucothayo kwaye uzibeke endleleni eya ephilisa intliziyo yakho eyaphukileyo. Zibuze, ngaba uthintela olu lungelelwaniso lwendalo lwezinto ngokuba ngumhlobo nomntu owayesamthanda? Ukuhlala abahlobo kunye nothando oludala alukuvumeli ukuba udlule kubo kwaye uqhelane nokungabikho kwabo.

Ukuze uqhubele phambili ngokupheleleyo, kufuneka uyeke ukucinga ngabo. Kodwa apha uhlala uzama ukusombulula iingxaki zabo; uyakhathazeka ukuba benza impazamo kwaye bahlala bejonga ukuba balungile na. Ukuba zisengqondweni yakho ngonaphakade, nokuba azikho ngothando, akuyonto ilungileyo ukuba ubhalisele. Ukuba uzifumana uphazamiseka emsebenzini wakho, kobunye ubudlelwane, kwaye okona kubaluleke kakhulu, wena-lixesha lokuba uyeke.

Kukho iingozi zokuba ngabahlobo kunye nomntu owayesakuba ngumhlobo osenokonakalisa impilo-ntle yakho ngokweemvakalelo nangokwengqondo. Phuma kubo ukuba ubambe iphunga lempilo yengqondo esengozini. Ukuba ngabahlobo kunye ex ukuba usenayo iimvakalelo kubo, kufuneka umntu oqolileyo ngokulinganayo kwelinye icala. Ukuba omnye wenu akakhuli oko, kuhle ukuba nifake iphini kobu buhlobo kwaye nibuyise ubomi benu.

Umbono kaBono: Landela umthetho wokungaqhagamshelwa ude uphole ekwahlukaneni ngokupheleleyo phambi kokuba ucinge ngombono wokuba ngumhlobo nomntu owayethandana naye.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Ngaba kufuneka ucime imifanekiso ye-Ex yakho kwi-Instagram yakho?

5. Iyakubulala xa beqala ukuthandana nomnye umntu

Ukuba ngabahlobo kunye ne-ex osamthanda kunzima njengoko kunjalo, kodwa ukubukela ukuba baqale ukuthandana nomnye umntu? Ayinakuqonda loo ntlungu. Umbuzo usamile - uza kwenza ntoni ngayo? Ngamanye amaxesha kungcono khulula nokuba usemathandweni ngokunzulu. Ukuzigcina ukude kwaye uzimele ngokweemvakalelo kubo kunokukunceda ukuba uqhubeke.

Kwelinye icala, ukuba nothando kunye ex kwaye ingqina ukuba batsibe ngeenyawo zombini ukuthandana entsha uya kwenzakala wena ngokweemvakalelo. Iya kudlisa kuphela amadangatye omona nomsindo. Kwakhona, musa ukulibala izinto ezingathandekiyo kunye nokuthotywa. 

Ubuya kuzenzakalise ngaphezu kokuba umntu owake wenjenjalo. Uza kuthini? Uza kusabela njani? Ungenza njani ngathi uyancuma ngelixa kukho intshebe etshone entliziyweni yakho? Ukuba le mibuzo ikushiye nomngxuma esiswini sakho, mhlawumbi lixesha lokujongana nomculo. Ngaba ukuba ngumhlobo nomntu owayesakuba sempilweni kuwe? Uyayazi impendulo kanye njengokuba sisazi.

Umbono kaBono: Nokuba ngaba ubungabahlobo kunye ex yakho lonke ixesha, yenza umzamo ngenyameko ukuba kude kubo kanye kukho umntu omtsha ebomini babo.

6. Usenokuqalisa ukubaleka iimbutho zolonwabo 

Ubunzima bobu buhlobo bunokuba bunzima kangangokuba uqalise ukubaphepha ngokupheleleyo abantu. Mhlawumbi ex yakho nawe uyinxalenye yeqela elinye. Uyoyika kakhulu ukubaleka ex yakho kwaye wenzakala ukuba uye ngokufanelekileyo wayila isicwangciso ukubaphepha bonke. Kodwa eneneni, ngubani lo ulahlekileyo apha?

Ukungabi ngabahlobo kunye nomntu othandana naye kulungile kwaye kuyathetheleleka, kodwa ukubabaleka kuya kukukhathaza. Ngenxa yokuba awukwazi ukuthi hayi, awukwazanga ukuqokelela isibindi sokwazisa umntu wakho wangaphambili ukuba awufuni ukuba kufutshane nabo kakhulu. Ukuba uthando yimvakalelo efanayo, kutheni le onus yentlungu iwela komnye? Bazise. Musa ukoyika ukubaxelela ukuba awukhululekanga. Wonke umntu ifuna ukuvalwa ukuze ihambe.

Mhlawumbi ukuhlala nabahlobo kunye nomntu othandana naye kuvele kube nzima kunokuba ubucinga. Ukuba ucinga ukuba wenze isigqibo esingalunganga, musa ukuzibetha. Okubaluleke ngakumbi, musa ukubabaleka abantu abakuthandayo.

Umbono kaBono: Ukuba ubuhlobo buqala ukuphazamisa impilo yakho yengqondo, qokelela isibindi sokuthetha nomntu wakho wangaphambili kwaye ubazise ukuba awusayi kuba sebomini babo.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Iindlela ezili-9 zokuhlangabezana nokuxhalaba kobudlelwane - Iingcebiso ezivela kwiingcali

7. Uya kuthandabuza ukuthandana nabanye abantu

Ukuba uqinisekile ngokuhlala abahlobo kunye ex, zilungiselele ukuba mathidala kuzisa ukuthandana nabanye abantu. Mhlawumbi, usendleleni yokuqhubela phambili kodwa ukuba uhlala ungaphakathi kwaye ujikeleze iidrama zakho zangaphambili, ngaba ngokwenene unika ubomi bakho bothando elinye ithuba? Yithi, unomdla komnye umntu kwaye unqwenela ngamandla ukusula isileyiti sakho. Ewe, awuyi kukwazi ukwenza ngenxa ye umthwalo ngokweemvakalelo ngokungeyomfuneko. Vumela ixesha lakho elidlulileyo libe apho kufanele ukuba libe khona kwaye uqhubekele phambili. 

Nokuba ufumana umntu omtsha, ukuba ngabahlobo kunye ne-ex ngelixa ukubudlelwane kunokudala isethi yayo yeengxaki. Ngaba uya kukwazi ngokwenene ukunxibelelana neqabane lakho xa ungakhange wenze ikhefu elicocekileyo kwixesha elidlulileyo? Kutheni ungabeke phambili ubudlelwane bakho olutsha endaweni kwaye ubone apho uya khona? Nokuba ex yakho ibe ngumhlobo wakho osenyongweni iminyaka, awukwazi ukuhlala single ngonaphakade ngenxa yabo. Kunene? 

Umbono kaBono: Ungaphoswa lithuba lakho lokufumana uthando kwakhona kuba usaxhonywe kwi ex yakho.

8. Ubuyelana ne ex yakho

Asinakukwazi ukukhuphela ngaphandle amathuba okuba umntu wakho wangaphambili abe neemvakalelo ngawe ngasese. Mhlawumbi sele kulithuba kwaye akukho namnye kuni oqinisekileyo ngeemvakalelo zomnye. wena uvaleleke kwindawo yomhlobo kuba anikwazi ukunxibelelana. Kule meko, kuya kufuneka udlule kwizithintelo zakho kwaye uchaze ngokucacileyo oko kusengqondweni yomntu ngamnye. Ukuba uqinisekile ngemiqondiso ebebeyiphosa indlela yakho, ngoku lixesha lokuba wenze okuthile kubo.

Ukuhlala nabahlobo kunye ne ex lukhetho lwakho. Ukuze ube ngaphezu koko, kufuneka wenze intshukumo kwaye uvavanye amanzi. Umhlobo wam wandibuza kwiintsuku ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo, "Ndizama ukwenza ingqondo yento ayifunayo. Ndisathandana ne-ex yam kunye nezihlobo kunye naye kodwa ndiqinisekile ukuba ndifuna ngakumbi. Ndimele ndenze ntoni?" 

Nantsi impendulo elula: Misela imida yokuba ngabahlobo kunye nomntu othandana naye. Kutheni ubuza? Kuba lula ukwazi into abayifunayo ngendlela abayichaza ngayo imida yabo. Ukuba abanelisekanga ngumgama ophakathi kwenu nobabini kwaye unokuwuva, lixesha elihle lokubuyelana. 

Umbono kaBono: Ihlala ingumbono olungileyo ukuthothisa kwaye uvavanye imeko ngokufanelekileyo. Sukufunda kakhulu kwizinto.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Imizekelo ye-9 yeMida yoMvakalelo kubudlelwane

Ngaba unokuba ngabahlobo kunye ne-ex ukuba usenayo iimvakalelo kubo? Impendulo yalo mbuzo ixhomekeke kuhlobo lomntu iqabane lakho langaphambili kunye nohlobo lobudlelwane owabelana nabo kunye nabo - indlela abakuphatha ngayo, indlela abakujonga ngayo njengomntu kunye nokuba kubaluleke kangakanani ukuba ube yinxalenye yobomi babo kungakhathaliseki isikhundla sakho. Masisayine ngokukukhumbuza ukuba nokuba i-ex yakho ibingumhlobo osenyongweni iminyaka, alikho ixesha lokutsho ukuba awukhululekanga. 

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