Ubudlelwano Obulungile - Kuyini, Izimpawu Namathiphu Okufanele Ugcinwe

Uyemukelwa emhlabeni wobudlelwano obuhle! Uyazi, obunye balabo budlelwano obuhle obusenza sikholelwe ezinganekwaneni futhi sikujabulele lokho njalo. Kodwa buyini ngempela ubuhlobo obuhle? Ingabe inganekwane nje, noma singazidalela yona ngempela?

Kunezindlela ezingama-24 zokusebenzisana nomlingani wakho ngokwalokhu cwaningo. Abahlanganyeli bancamela ozakwethu ababefana nabo ngendlela yokuphila, imibono, nokuziphatha futhi bengenandaba kangako nezinto ezifana nemfundo, inkolo, noma ubuhlakani.

Kodwa igama elithi 'ideal' ngokwalo lingaba nzima. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi okusezulwini kuwe kungase kube iphupho elibi komunye umuntu. Yingakho, namuhla, sikunikeza ukwehla okuphelele kwezothando oluhle, olunempilo. Kusukela kuzimpawu zokubheka amathiphu okuthi ungayigcina kanjani ibhondi, sikuphathele.

Buyini Ubudlelwano Obulungile? 

Ah, ubudlelwano obuhle obungatholakali. Sonke sike saphupha ngakho ngesikhathi esisodwa noma kwenye. Kodwa buyini ubuhlobo obuhle? Ingabe wonke ama roses nothingo? Hhayi-ke impela. Okokuqala nokubalulekile, kubalulekile ukuthi uzibuze, “Buyini ubudlelwano BAMI obuhle?” 

Mhlawumbe ufuna othile othanda ukuqwala izintaba, noma mhlawumbe wazisa othile ongakwenza uhleke. Noma ngabe kuyini, kubalulekile ukwazi ufunani ebudlelwaneni/umlingani.

Incazelo yobudlelwano obuseduze obufanele ingahluka. Nokho, ngomqondo wawo ongokoqobo, ubuhlobo obuhle buwubudlelwane obakhelwe phezu kokwethembana, inhlonipho, nokuqondana. Kuyisibopho lapho bobabili abalingani bezizwa bebalulekile ngoba kunesiteshi sokuxhumana okuvulekile. Kuyindawo ephephile lapho ungaba nguwe, amaphutha nakho konke, futhi wazi ukuthi uzokwamukelwa futhi uthandwe.

• Ubuhlobo obuhle abuhlali buphelele futhi buqukethe izinselele eziningi
• Kudinga umzamo nokuzibophezela kubo bobabili abalingani
• Kufanele kube umthombo wenjabulo, ukwesekwa, kanye nokukhula kwabo bobabili abantu
• Kufanele ibeke kuqala inhlalakahle engokomzwelo nengokomzimba
• Ukuhambisana namagugu okwabelwana ngawo kuyizisekelo ezibalulekile zobudlelwano obuhle
• Kubalulekile ukuthi bobabili abantu babe nokulindela okungokoqobo futhi bazimisele ukuyekethisa
• Incazelo yakho yomuntu ngamunye yobudlelwano obuhle ingase yehluke kwekazakwenu

Kodwa sazi kanjani ukuthi yini esiyifunayo ebuhlotsheni obuhle? Ngokuvamile, ubudlelwano bethu bangaphambili businika umkhondo. U-Ace, i-massage Therapist waseChicago, uhlanganyela nathi, “Ngikhumbula ngisekolishi, ngibona othile engangingazizwa ngikhululekile ukuxoxa naye ngemicabango yami ejulile, ngangingaqondi ukuthi kungani. 

“Kodwa lapho ngihlangana nomlingani wami wamanje, ngabona ukuthi nginomlingani okhona isilaleli esihle kwakungenye yezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu kimi ukuze ngizizwe ngiphephile, futhi yilokho kanye owayekade engakwazi ukunginika kona. Akumangalisi ukuthi angikaze ngizizwe ngisekhaya naye. Ngicabanga ukuthi kubalulekile ukucabanga ngobudlelwano bethu bangaphambili ukuze sinqume ukuthi yini esiyifunayo noma esingayifuni ebudlelwaneni obusha.”

7 Izimpawu Ukuthi Usebudlelwaneni Obulungile 

Ngakho-ke, wazi kanjani ukuthi usebudlelwaneni obuhle? Nokho, ezinye izimpawu okufanele uzibheke zihlanganisa ukukhulumisana ngokukhululekile, izithakazelo nezinjongo okwabelwana ngazo, ukulinganisela okunempilo kokupha nokuthatha, kanye nokuzimisela ukubhekana nezinselele ndawonye.

Kusukela ekuhleleni ubusuku bezinsuku ezijwayelekile ukuya ekuzilolongeni ukulalela okumatasa kuya ekufundeni izilimi zothando zomunye nomunye, kunezindlela eziningi zokugcina inhlansi iphila. Futhi ngomzamo omncane nokuzinikela, nawe ungazakhela eyakho ngokujabulisayo. Ngakho-ke, zibopheni, bangane bami, ngoba sesizoqala uhambo lokuthola izimpawu zokuthi usothandweni olufanele:

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinto Eziyi-10 Ezenza Ubudlelwano Obuhle - Njengokusho Kochwepheshe

1. Uzizwa ukhululekile ukuba nawe eduze nomlingani wakho

Buyini ubudlelwano bakho obuhle? Ungakwazi yini ukudansa phambi kwabo nakuba unamakhono okudansa engane encane? Ingabe bakubheka ngendlela efanayo noma unodoli noma ukhathele futhi ugula? Hhayi-ke, lokhu kungaba wuphawu lokuthi usothandweni oluphelele. 

Ebudlelwaneni obuhle bezothando, akufanele neze uzizwe sengathi kufanele ubukeke noma uzenze umuntu ongeyena. Uma ungaba nawe eduze komlingani wakho futhi ekwamukela lokho oyikho, lokho kuwuphawu lobuhlobo obunempilo nokwanelisayo.

2. Umlingani wakho uyakuhlonipha

Inhlonipho iyisici esibalulekile kunoma yibuphi ubuhlobo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umuntu oseduze noma cha. Ebudlelwaneni obuhle, abalingani bayayihlonipha imibono, imingcele, nemizwa yomunye nomunye. Ezinye izimpawu zenhlonipho zingabukeka kanje: 

• Bayawethemba umbono wakho futhi bayasazisa iseluleko sakho 
• Bayakulalela futhi bazazi izinkinga zakho 
• Bavulekele ukusebenza ndawonye ngezithiyo 
• Baphatha umndeni wakho nabangane ngomusa

“Kufanele wamukele futhi uhloniphe iqiniso lokuthi wena nomlingani wakho ningabantu ababili abahlukene abanokwehluka kwabantu ngabanye,” kusho a ukutadisha. Uma umlingani wakho ekukhombisa inhlonipho ngazo zonke izindlela kungakhathalekile ukuthi uhlukene kangakanani, kuwuphawu oluhle lokuthi uyakwazisa.

Umzala wami, uJohn, wayenomuntu owayehlale emdelela phambi kwabangane bakhe. Wayemthethisa phambi kwabantu futhi akuchithe konke akushoyo. Ekugcineni, wabona ukuthi lapho inhlonipho ingekho, uthando lulodwa alukwazi ukusindisa ubuhlobo, waphuma. Manje usebudlelwaneni obunempilo lapho enikela khona futhi ehlonishwa. 

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3. Ungakwazi ukuxhumana ngokwethembeka nangokukhululekile

A cwaningo uthi, “Ukukhulumisana okuhle kuyingxenye ebalulekile yabo bonke ubudlelwano futhi kuyingxenye ebalulekile yanoma ibuphi ubudlelwano obunempilo.” Ubudlelwano obunempilo bubandakanya ukwethembeka, futhi ebuhlotsheni obuseduze obufanele, abalingani kufanele bakwazi ukuxhumana ngokukhululekile ngaphandle kokwesaba ukwahlulela noma ukugxekwa. 

Ukuqamba amanga, ukufihla, nokukhohlisa akuyona ingxenye yobudlelwano obuhle. Umqondo obalulekile wokuba sebudlelwaneni wukuthi nihlale phansi nixoxisane ngesinqandamathe sakhe ngaphandle kokwesaba ukuthi bazosabela kanjani. 

Uma wena nophathina wakho ningakhuluma nganoma yini nangayo yonke into, kusukela ekupheleni komhlaba kuya kunina omncane onibambayo, lokho kuwuphawu oluhle lobuhlobo obuqinile nobunempilo.

4. Unombono ofanayo ngekusasa lakho

Mhlawumbe nobabili anikho lapho nihlose ukuba khona empilweni. Kodwa ingabe nisebenzela ukufeza izinhloso zenu (ndawonye)? Ingabe usekhasini elifanayo ngalokho ofuna ukukuzuza eminyakeni ezayo?

Uyabona, kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi nobabili nifunani empilweni nokuthi nizibona kuphi esikhathini esizayo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi nithandana kangakanani, uma umlingani wakho ephupha ngokuphila okungenamntwana nokuhamba emhlabeni, futhi udala amabhodi emizwelo yekhaya lothango olumhlophe esifundeni sesikole, ubudlelwano bakho abuhambisani.

Nazi ezinye izibonelo zombono owabiwe ebudlelwaneni ongabonisa ukuthi usebudlelwaneni obuhle:

• Nobabili nicabanga ukuguga ndawonye 
• Uqondanisiwe mayelana nezinhloso zakho zomsebenzi 
• Nobabili ninombono ofanayo ngomshado nabantwana 
• Nizibekele amangqopha-mlando ofuna ukuwafinyelela ndawonye

5. Unokuxhumana okujulile ngokomzwelo

Ebudlelwaneni obuhle bothando, abalingani bane ukuxhumana okujulile ngokomzwelo lokho kudlula ukukhangwa ngokomzimba. Ukubukeka kuzophela (ngaphandle uma uthandana no-Tom Cruise). Okuzosala ngemuva ukuxhumana lapho uzizwa uqondakala khona, lapho umlingani wakho engaba umngane wakho ekuguleni nasempilweni.

U-Lily, intatheli yezezimali yaseNew York, wayenobudlelwane obudlule lapho umlingani wakhe ayenesithakazelo kuphela ekusondeleni ngokomzimba. Uthi, "Ngakudida ngobudlelwano obuphelele kodwa lapho sesiphelile isigaba se-honeymoon, akukho esasingaxoxa ngakho. Ngabona ukuthi ngangidinga umuntu engangingase ngibe sengozini enkulu naye; owayeyikhathalela imizwa yami. Futhi kwakungeyena lowo mfana."

Uma wena nomlingani wakho ninobudlelwane obuqinile ngokomzwelo futhi ningaxhuma ezingeni elijulile, kuwuphawu lokuthi ninobudlelwane obunempilo nobanelisayo.

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6. Nijabulela ukuba ndawonye futhi nisekela ukuzimela komunye nomunye

Ubuhlobo obuhle bothando kimina yibo lapho mina nomlingani wami singajabulela khona ukuba nesithukuthezi ndawonye. Uyazi, thina kuphela, dolce far nient-injabulo yokungenzi lutho) indlela yethu yokuphila. Futhi lokho kungenzeka kuphela uma ubujabulela ngempela ubukhona bothile. 

“Eqinisweni, ubuhlobo obunempilo bakhiwa abantu ababili abaqinile ngokwengqondo. Ngamunye uphila ukuphila okuzimele futhi unesifiso nekhono lokuhlanganyela ukuphila kwabo nakho,” kusho isazi samuva nje. cwaningo. Uma wena nophathina wakho ningaba ndawonye ngaphandle kokuzizwa nicindezelekile futhi ningakwazi nokuphishekela izithakazelo zenu kanye nezinto zokuzilibazisa, lokho kuwuphawu lobuhlobo obunempilo nobulinganiselayo.

Ukukhulumisana ngokukhululekile kudlala indima ebalulekile ekuzuzeni lokhu kulinganisela. Uma ukwazi ukuxhumana ngokukhululekile nomlingani wakho mayelana nezidingo zakho isikhathi uwedwa futhi ukuzimela ebudlelwaneni, ningasebenza ndawonye ukuze nithole ibhalansi enempilo enisebenzela nobabili.

7. Ungazithathela izinqumo ngaphandle kokwesaba ukwahlulelwa

Ebudlelwaneni obuhle, abalingani bahlonipha ukuzimela komunye nomunye futhi bavumelane ukuthi bazenzele izinqumo ngaphandle kokwesaba ukwahlulela noma ukugxekwa. Ukulawula ozakwethu ungenzi isibopho esinempilo. Nazi ezinye izibonelo zokulawula ebuhlotsheni:

• Benza zonke izinqumo ezinkulu ngempilo yenu ndawonye 
• Kufanele ucele imvume yabo kukho konke 
• Kunezinto “ongavunyelwe” ukuzigqoka noma ukuzisho 

Ngokuphambene, umlingani osekelayo angaqonda ukuthi ungumuntu ongaphandle kobudlelwane futhi uyakwazi ukwenza izinqumo zakho. Uma wena nophathina wakho ningazithathela izinqumo futhi nisekele izinqumo zomunye nomunye, lokho kuwuphawu lobudlelwano obunempilo nokwethembeka.

Ungabugcina Kanjani Ubudlelwano Bakho Obulungile? 

Kungenzeka ukuthi uwaqokile wonke amabhokisi uma kuziwa ekutholeni ubudlelwano obuhle. Kodwa umcebo uma usutholakele udinga ukugcinwa. Ukwakha nokugcina ubuhlobo obuhle kudinga umzamo, ukuqonda, nokufafazwa komlingo. Ngakho-ke, uma usukulungele ukukhulisa umdlalo wakho wothando, nanka amaphuzu amahlanu okuqonda angakusiza ugcine ilangabi liphila futhi udale ubudlelwano obuhle:

I-1. Ezokuxhumana

Ukuxhumana kuyisisekelo sanoma iyiphi ubuhlobo obunempilo futhi ivumela umbhangqwana ukuthi wakhe ubudlelwano obunempilo ngempela. Akukhona nje ukukhuluma, kodwa futhi nokulalela umlingani wakho ngentshiseko. Veza imicabango nemizwa yakho ngokwethembeka nangokukhululekile, kuyilapho unikeza umlingani wakho indawo yokwenza okufanayo. Khumbula, ukukhulumisana okuphumelelayo kuhilela nobabili ukukhuluma nokulalela. Naka, ubonise isithakazelo sangempela, futhi uzame ukuqonda umbono wabo. Ukuxoxisana okunempilo kuyisihluthulelo sokuxazulula izingxabano, ukujulisa isibopho sakho, nokuthuthukisa ubudlelwano obuhle.

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2. Inhlonipho

Inhlonipho iyintambo yegolide ehlanganisa ubuhlobo obuhle. Phatha umlingani wakho ngomusa, ukucabangela, nokuncoma. Bamukele ubuntu babo futhi ubungaze impumelelo yabo. Qaphela imingcele yabo, imibono, nendawo yomuntu siqu. Khumbula, ukuhlonipha ukuzimela nemizwa yomunye nomunye kudala indawo ephephile nenakekelayo lapho uthando lungachuma khona. 

3. Isikhathi sekhwalithi

Esiphithiphithini sempilo, kubalulekile ukubeka kuqala isikhathi esiseqophelweni eliphezulu nozakwenu. Buyini ubudlelwano bakho obuhle? Cabanga ngakho. Noma ngabe kubukeka sengathi uya emicimbini, ujabulela ubusuku bosuku, noma ukumane ugone kusofa, khumbula ukudala lezi zikhathi ngokukhuthele ukuze wakhe izinkumbulo futhi ujulise uxhumano lwakho. Dala ukulingana phakathi kokuphishekelayo komuntu ngamunye kanye nolwazi olwabiwe. Thatha isikhathi sokuhleka, ukuhlola, nokwenza izinkumbulo ezintsha ndawonye. Isikhathi sekhwalithi siqinisa isibopho, sivuselele inhlansi, futhi sigcine umlingo uphila ebudlelwaneni bakho obuhle.

4. Ukusekela nozwela

Impilo iphonsa ama-curveball, futhi sonke sidinga ihlombe ukuze sincike kulo. Ebudlelwaneni obuhle, ukweseka umlingani wakho ebuhleni nasebuncaneni kubalulekile. Bonisa uzwela ngokuzama ukuqonda izinkinga zabo futhi ubeke indlebe elalelayo. Yiba umsekeli wabo omkhulu, unikeze isikhuthazo nokusekelwa okungantengantengi. Khumbula, ubudlelwano obuhle buwubudlelwane lapho niphakamisana futhi nikhule ndawonye. Hlakulelani indawo ephephile nenakekelayo lapho ningachuma khona nobabili, nazi ukuthi ninemihlane yomunye nomunye.

5. Uhleko nobumnandi

Ukuhleka kuyisithako esiyimfihlo esengeza ukucwazimula ebuhlotsheni obuhle. Thola izikhathi zenjabulo namahlaya ndawonye, ​​​​udale umoya opholile futhi odlalayo. Hlekani amahlaya omunye nomunye (ngisho namabi!), Yamukelani izikhathi zobuwula, futhi ujabulele ukuzilibazisa okwabiwe noma imisebenzi. Ukufaka ubumnandi nohleko ebudlelwaneni bakho kusebenza njengeglue enamandla, okukusiza ukuthi umelane nezivunguvungu futhi ujabulele ubuhle bempilo ndawonye.

Kafushane, ubuhlobo obuhle buhilela ukujabulela ukuba ndawonye kuyilapho besekela ukuzimela komunye nomunye, besekela imigomo yokuphila komunye nomunye, nokuvumela omunye nomunye ukuba azenzele izinqumo ngaphandle kokwesaba ukwahlulela. 

Ukukhulumisana ngokukhululekile kubalulekile ukuze kuzuzwe lezi zinto futhi kwakhiwe ubuhlobo obunempilo nobanelisayo nomuntu omusha. Uma ukwazi ukuhlobana neningi lalezi zimpawu ezingenhla, khona-ke siyakuhalalisela, ususondele isinyathelo esisodwa ngokujabulisayo! 

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