Iminyaka emithathu ngishadile Umyeni Wami Wangivimba Kusenjalo

Imibuzo Nezimpendulo Zami | | Umbhali onguchwepheshe , I-Psychotherapist
Kubuyekezwe Ngo: Okthoba 13, 2023
Umyeni wakhe wamvimba empilweni yakhe manje usezizwa elahliwe futhi ebuhlungu inhliziyo
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Owami umshado wesibili. Ngineminyaka engu-38 kanti umyeni wami una-33. Sashada ngo-February 2014 ngemvume yemindeni yethu. Sinendodakazi eneminyaka engu-12. Iminyaka embalwa yokuqala yayiyinhle impela, konke kwakulungile. Ngaleso sikhathi futhi sasingajwayele ukuphuma noma ukuchitha isikhathi esihle. Besihlale simatasa kwezemidlalo nokuqeqesha. Kodwa kungazelelwe wangivimba ekuphileni kwakhe.

Namanje angazi ukuthi ungivimbeleni empilweni yakhe

Angazi ukuthi konakelephi lapho evele wayeka ukubuya ekhaya, akafonanga, lutho. Waqala ukuhlala nomama wakhe. Lokhu kwenzeka ngoJune 2017. Wangivimba izingcingo, WhatsApp, Facebook, zonke izingosi zokuxhumana. Manje asikho isikhala sokuthi ngimthinte ngqo. Umndeni wakhe nomndeni wami bazama ukukhuluma naye, kodwa uvele athi “Angifuni ukubuyela kuye.”

Ngazama ukukhuluma naye izikhathi eziningi, ngathi ngiyaxolisa, ngakhala, ngancenga, ngafuna ukwazi isizathu kodwa umane wathi cha, noma uzama ukukhombisa amaphutha ami angaphambilini . Ngaleso sikhathi akakaze asho lutho, kodwa manje usedala inkinga.

Ngilahlekile ngokuphelele. Angikwazi ukubhekana nokwehluleka futhi, kungisinda kakhulu. Uthi akanabo abanye besifazane empilweni yakhe futhi ufuna ukuba nokuthula futhi manje sekuphele izinyanga eziyisithupha. Akangifoneli kakhulu; lokho futhi kuphela uma enomsebenzi othile, u-10% wezinto zakhe zikhona endaweni yami. Ngihlala efulethini eliqashiwe futhi ngiyasebenza. Nginamandla ngokwezimali kodwa ngiphazamisekile ngokwengqondo, ngezinye izikhathi ngingedwa. Ngicela ungitshele ukuthi ngenzenjani futhi ngifuna umyeni wami abuye empilweni yami. Ngimthanda ngempela. Ngizizwa ngilahliwe kakhulu ngokomzwelo.

Nkosazana ethandekayo,

Ngiyakuqonda obhekene nakho. Iqiniso liwukuthi kuthatha ababili ebudlelwaneni. Uma umyeni wakho engatshaliwe kulo mshado futhi engafisi ukuqhubeka, ukuxhumana ngezidingo zakho kwaba ukuphela kwendlela esebenzayo. Kodwa nakuwe, lokho akusebenzi. Ngiyaqonda ukuthi ufisa ukwazi indlela yakho phambili futhi ufuna umyeni wakho abuye. Kunjalo?

Ungaya kokwelulekwa ngomshado

Indlela engaphambili kungaba ukuxhumana naye ngandlela thile bese ukhuluma naye. Mhlawumbe ungaphakamisa ukwelulekwa kwemibhangqwana ukuze ubone izinketho zakho, usebenzele udaba noma umane ube nokucaca ngobudlelwano bese unquma ukuthi wenzeni. Ukucela, ukuxolisa, njll. kungase kungabi kuhle ngoba ucabanga ukuthi yiphutha lakho, angiqondi ukuthi kungani. Ngiyazibuza ukuthi kungani abesifazane bevame ukuzibeka icala ngomshado ophukile uma umyeni esethuthile. Ngicela ucabange ngalokhu.

Ukufunda okuhlobene: Uthe “Ukucindezeleka Kwezezimali Kubulala Umshado Wami” Samtshela Okufanele Akwenze

Unamandla

Ngingathanda futhi ukukubuza, yini ekwenza ucabange ukuthi awukwazi ukusingatha umshado ohlulekile futhi? Awukaze uwuphathe ngaphambili? Isizathu esikhulu sokuthi uzokwazi ukusingatha nalokhu. Okubaluleke kakhulu, unendodakazi eneminyaka eyi-12 edinga uthando lwakho nokunakwa kwakho. Uzimele ngokwezimali , unekhono lokuzinakekela. Kungani ungancenga indoda ukuthi ikubuyisele emuva uma ingafuni ukuba nawe? Ubungeke yini ukhethe ukuba nomuntu okuthanda ngenxa yalokho oyikho, noma mhlawumbe ucabange ngempela ukuthi uyayidinga indoda empilweni yakho?

Awukwazi ukuphoqa muntu

Ukuza esicelweni sakho sesibili, sokufuna umyeni wakho abuye. Hhayi-ke, ukukubeka ngembaba, akekho ongakwenza lokho. Ubusebudlelwaneni babantu abadala abavumayo. Uma omunye umlingani engafisi ukuqhubeka nobudlelwano, akukho okuningi okungenziwa. Awukwazi ukuphoqa umuntu ukuthi ahlale ebudlelwaneni angafisi kubo, Ikakhulukazi uma esekuvimbile kanjalo.

Ngiyazi ukuthi kunzima futhi kuyangicasula kakhulu. Isimo esifanelekile kungaba ukuthi ufune ukuvala. Kufanele ufune usizo lwesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo ukuze uthole umbono onempilo. Ukwelashwa kuyadingeka kuwe ngalesi sikhathi. Kuzokusiza ukuthi uthole ukucaca nokuzethemba futhi ube nokuqonda okwengeziwe kwesimo.

Ngikufisela okuhle! Sicela ubhale futhi ukuze uthole usizo olwengeziwe.

Uzinakekele

Snigdha Mishra

Ukufunda okuhlobene: Izindlela Zokuxhumana Zombhangqwana Eziyi-9 Zokuthuthukisa Umshado Wakho – Nguchwepheshe

Lapho Umyeni Wami Esemoyeni

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