Ngambhebha umfana wami. Ngiyilungisa kanjani?

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Ngenze iphutha eliyisiwula. Mina nesoka lami besilokhu silwa kakhulu muva nje ngezinto ezincane kakhulu. Sobabili singabantu abanenkani ngakho-ke kuzwakala sengathi konke ukungezwani okuncane kuphenduka into enkulu. Ngemva kokulwa kwethu okubi kakhulu, ngaphuma nabangani bami. Ngahlangana nalo mfana futhi sagcina silele ndawonye . Angikaze ngicabange ukuthi ukukhohlisa isoka lami kungenzeka ngoba bengithembekile kubo bonke ubudlelwano esikhathini esidlule. Ngisamthanda futhi ngiyazi ukuthi ngifuna ukuba naye. Kodwa ungamthanda yini umuntu kodwa usamkhohlisa? Ingabe ukukhohlisa kusho ukuthi mhlawumbe ngokungazi angimthandi? Kungalobo busuku nje, kwazizwa kumnandi ukuzijabulisa nje. Ngangingakhathazeki ngokugwema izihloko noma ukusho into engalungile, kwakulula futhi kulula. Angizange ngimthande kakhulu lowo mfana futhi ngeke ngiphinde ngikhulume naye kodwa angazi ukuthi ngenzeni manje. Ngingalungisa kanjani ubudlelwano bami ngemva kokungathembeki ? Naphezu kwakho konke ukulwa kwethu, ngisacabanga ukuthi enginakho nesoka lami kukhethekile. Ingabe ubudlelwano bethu bungabuyela esimweni esijwayelekile ngemva kokukhohlisa?

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ngikhohlise isoka lami kodwa ngiyalifuna libuye

Impendulo:

Lokhu nakanjani kuzoba yisimo esilimaza kakhulu kini nobabili, futhi kuzoba nzima ukusizulazula. Okubaluleke kakhulu ukuvuma kuye, njengoba lokho kuyinto okufanele akwazi. Ngeke kube lula, kodwa umkweleta ukwethembeka ngenxa yenhlonipho ngaye nobuhlobo benu. Ukukopela akusho ukuthi awumthandi umlingani wakho. Ukukopela kuvame ukuxaka kakhulu kunalokho okubonakala, imvamisa kuba nezinkinga ezikhona ebudlelwaneni, ukucasukelana nozakwenu kanye nokufuna ukufeza isidingo okungenzeka ukuthi ubuhlobo abuzange buhlangabezane naso kuwe.

Nazi izinto ezimbalwa ezingasiza wena nophathina wakho ninqobe lokhu.

Thatha ukuziphendulela
Izinto ezibaluleke kakhulu ezisiza izithandani ukunqoba ukungathembeki yilezi: ukwethembana nokuziphendulela. Udinga ukuba sesimweni lapho ungakwazi ukuvuma iphutha lakho, ngaphandle kokuphonsa icala kunoma ubani nanoma yini enye, futhi uziphendulele ngezenzo zakho.
Izinkinga eziyisisekelo
Ukukopela akuvamile ukuthi kuqondile njengoba kubonakala futhi ngokuvamile kunezinye izinkinga ezikhungethe ubuhlobo. Esimeni sakho, bekungaba izimpi ezivamile ebezingaholela ekuqheleni ngokomzwelo, ukuqhelelana kanye nokucasuka nhlangothi zombili. Kuphela lapho izidingo zakho - ezingokomzwelo, zengqondo nezomzimba - zingahlangatshezwana naye ebudlelwaneni bakho, lapho uzofuna ngaphandle kobudlelwane bakho. Sebenza ekuboneni ukuthi yiziphi izidingo zakho ebezingahlangabezwanga, nokuthi yini ongayenza. Khumbula, lokhu kungaba incazelo yalokho okwenzekile, hhayi izaba.
Vula futhi wamukeleke
Lalela imizwa yakhe futhi umnikeze isikhathi asidingayo sokucubungula lokhu. Khumbula ukuthi okuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe ngokomzwelo kuvumelekile - kungakhathaliseki ukuthi intukuthelo, usizi, ukungakholwa, njll. Zama ukusungula ukukhulumisana okuvulekile nokwethembeka lapho nobabili ningabelana ngemizwa yenu, izidingo kanye nalokho okulindele. Zimisele ukwamukela izidingo nezifiso zomlingani wakho.
Ukwakha kabusha ukwethembana
Uma umlingani wakho ezimisele ukuhlala futhi sebenza ebuhlotsheni, kuzodinga ukuzibophezela kwenu nobabili ekwenzeni kusebenze. Ekugcineni, ukunikeza isiqinisekiso ngamazwi nangezenzo kubalulekile ukuze wakhe kabusha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni. Zibophezele ekwenzeni izinguquko ebudlelwaneni, uma lokho kuyinto oyilungele. Cabangela ukwelulekwa kwabashadile uma nobabili nizimisele ukukwenza kusebenze. Umelaphi angakusiza ukuthi uzulazule ekukhulumeni, ukwakha ukwethembana nokuxolelana ngendlela enempilo.
Ngena nawe
Ungazami ukwenza lobu budlelwano busebenze endaweni yecala kuphela. Zibuze ukuthi yini oyidingayo futhi uma ucabanga ukuthi uyakwazi futhi uzimisele ukwenza lokho okuzodingeka ukwenza lobu budlelwano bulunge. Zinike isikhathi sokuzindla futhi uqaphele noma yikuphi ukuzibhubhisa amaphethini okungenzeka akuholele lapha.
Iba nesineke
Nawe kanye nomlingani wakho. Lokhu kuzoba yinqubo eyisicefe kini nobabili ukuthi niyinqobe, futhi ukuzihlazisa noma ukugxekana wena noma omunye nomunye ngeke kusize.

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

1. Ingabe ubuhlobo busebenza ngemva kokukopela?

Yebo, ubuhlobo bungasebenza ngemva kokukopela. Kodwa-ke, ukuthi umbhangqwana uyakwazi yini ukunqoba ukukopela noma cha kuzoncika kulokhu:
1. Ikhono labo bobabili abalingani ukuba baziphendulele ngendima yabo ezinkingeni zobudlelwane babo
2. Ukuzimisela kwabo bobabili abalingani ukuzibophezela ekushintsheni nokwenza umzamo wobudlelwano
3. Ukuthi bobabili bayakwazi yini ukuyeka ukucasukelana
4. Ukuthi bakhulumisana ngokukhululekile nangokwethembeka, futhi babonisa uzwela komunye nomunye

2. Ungakuthola kanjani ukwethenjwa ngemuva kokukopela?

Kungumsebenzi onzima. Nokho, into ebaluleke kakhulu ukwethembeka, ngokwenzekile nokuthi kungani ucabanga ukuthi kwenzeke. Kuphela ngemva kokuba leli qiniso selikhulunyiwe, lapho wena nophathina wakho ningakwazi ukuya ekulungiseni ukwethenjwa.
1. Zibekezelele wena kanye nomlingani wakho
2. Nikeza umlingani wakho isiqiniseko nesikhala, ngesikhathi esidinga ngaso
3. Bhekana nezinkinga eziwumsuka ebudlelwaneni benu eziholele kulokhu.
4. Zihlole futhi uzame ukuqonda isizathu sezenzo zakho futhi. Ziphendulele ngezenzo zakho.
5. Cabangela ukwelulekwa kwabashadile.

3. Ngimqhathe ngani umfana wami?

Ukukopela akuvamile ukuba kuqonde njengoba kubonakala. Kunezizathu eziningana ezahlukene ezenza abantu bakhohlise, Nokho, ukuze ukwazi isizathu sakho, uzodinga ukucabanga ngalokho izidingo zakho bezingagcwaliseki ebuhlotsheni bakho. Lezi kungaba yizidingo zomzimba kodwa futhi zingaba: isidingo sokuxhuma, isidingo sokuvikeleka, okudingekayo, ukuqinisekiswa, ukunakwa, ukwazisa, njll.

Amathiphu ayi-11 Okwakha Ubudlelwano Obuphumelelayo Ngemva Kokukhohlisa

Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.