Uyafuna ukwazi izimpawu zothando lwakhe akulona olwangempela? Ngakho-ke nawu umbuzo osheshayo: Wake wacabanga ukuhlola umfana wakho ukuze ubone ukuthi uyakuthanda ngempela yini? Izimpawu ukuthi uthando lwakhe alulona olwangempela noma ukuthi uyaziphoqa ukuthi akuthande akulula ukukubona ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ngeziphetho zezinganekwane zokuthi “ngenjabulo naphakade” sihlale emakhanda ethu singaqashiwe, sivamise ukuvumela izimvemvane ezisesiswini sethu ukuba zinqobe ukwahlulela kwethu ngenkathi singena ebudlelwaneni obusha.
Kungani umuntu engenza sengathi uyakuthanda? Ungabona kanjani uma umfana ekhohlisa uthando? Imibuzo esobala efana nalena nakanjani izofika engqondweni yakho uma ufuna izimpawu ukuthi uthando lwakhe akulona olwangempela. Futhi njengakho konke okunye namuhla, ungathola izimpendulo ku-inthanethi. Yonke inkundla yezokuxhumana igcwele abantu abakhombisa impilo yabo nobudlelwano njengento evamile, esebenzayo, futhi ephelele emehlweni abalandeli babo. Lesi sifiso sokuba nobudlelwano obuphelele be-lovey-dovey emehlweni omhlaba kungaba esinye sezizathu eziphoqa insizwa ukuthi ikuthande ngisho noma ingakuthandi ngempela.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yisiphi isizathu noma isizathu angase asebenzise ukuzenza sengathi uyakuthanda, ufanelwe okungcono kakhulu. Ukuqinisekisa ukuthi awugcini ufaka imali yakho yonke ebudlelwaneni obungenasiphelo obakhelwe phezu kwemizwa mbumbulu, silapha ukuze sikusize ubone izimpawu zokuthi uthando lwakhe akulona olwangempela.
Izimpawu Eziyisi-9 Ezithi Uthando Lwakhe Akulona Lwangempela
Okuqukethwe
Ukunquma ukuhlola umfana ukubona ukuthi uyakuthanda ngempela kulula. Kodwa izimpawu zothando lwakhe azilona iqiniso akulula ukuzibona. Ukuqonda izinhloso zangempela zomlingani wakho lapho uphuphuthekiswe ukukhungatheka imizwa yothando idinga ukuthi uhlole isimo ngendlela ephusile nangokungenamdlandla. Zonke izinsuku eziphuphile kanye nobusuku obushisayo bungase buzizwe bungenangqondo kuze kube usuku oqaphela ngalo ukuthi ukhohliswe ebuhlotsheni mbumbulu.
Izimpawu zothando lwakhe akulona olwangempela zingabonakala emikhubeni yakhe nangendlela aziphatha ngayo eduze kwakho. Ubudlelwano bangempela bungase bungabi nesithombe esiphelele futhi bungadinga isikhathi esiningi nomzamo nhlangothi zombili. Kungakhathaleki ubunzima nomzamo, ubudlelwano bangempela bungcono kakhulu kunobomgunyathi, okuvame ukuzenzisa futhi okuvame ukwenziwa ukuze kugunyazwe umphakathi.
Ingabe uyangithanda ngempela noma uyadlala? Ingabe uvame ukuzithola uzibuza lo mbuzo? Uma impendulo inguyebo futhi ufuna ukugwema ukuxhumana okunjalo okungenalutho okungafaki noma yiliphi inani empilweni yakho, kufanele ukwazi ukubona izimpawu zokuthi uthando lwakhe alulona olwangempela.
1. Akakwazi ukukugqolozela amehlo akhe
Amehlo ayisibuko somphefumulo futhi abonisa konke okubonakala sengathi kufihliwe ngenye indlela. Uma umlingani wakho enamehlo azulayo, khona-ke iseluleko sami kuwe kungaba ukuthi ugqoke leso sigqoko se-Sherlock futhi umbe ujule esikhathini sakhe esidlule. Uma umbamba ehlola zonke ezinye izintombi “ezinhle” azibonayo, kungenzeka ukuthi unomkhuba omubi wokungena nokuphuma ebudlelwaneni noma nini lapho ehlangana nomuntu ongcono.
Angase adlale ngothando nowesifazane oyedwa namuhla futhi kusasa adlulele komunye wesifazane. Angase azame ukukukholisa ngemizwa yakhe ngezaba ezinyonga ngaphandle kokuyeka umkhuba wakhe wokushela nokubheka abanye besifazane. Ukubukeka komzimba kuphela nokukhanga okungabalulekile kuye futhi angase abe nobudlelwano nawe ngoba usemncane futhi uyathandeka kuye. Ungase uzizwe ushibhile futhi ungafaneleki ebudlelwaneni obunjalo futhi akuyona indlela uthando lwangempela oluzizwa ngayo.
Okunye okukhombisa ukuthi uthando lwakhe seluyaphela futhi usenomunye umuntu emqondweni wakhe ukuthi akekho izimpawu zokuxhumana ngokomzwelo phakathi kwenu nobabili ngisho nasezikhathini zenu ezisondelene kakhulu. Ubengaluthanda ucansi kodwa maningi amathuba okuthi akakuthandi futhi angase abonakale ekude futhi ekude phakathi nesikhathi sakho sokulala. Lokhu kungase kube ngezinye zezimpawu zokuthi akakaze akuthande futhi wayesebudlelwaneni ngoba wakuthola uthandeka. Lokho kungase kushintshe lapho ehlangana nomuntu omusha futhi okhangayo.
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2. Ukuqonda ukuthi akakaze akuthande ngemva kokuhlukana
Ubudlelwano budlula okuningi futhi kunezigaba ezinhle nezimbi kubo bonke ubudlelwano. Kodwa uma uqaphela ukuthi ngemva kwesigaba esibi, izinto phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho zishintshe kakhulu, khona-ke kufanele ubheke izimpawu ukuthi uthando lwakhe alulona olwangempela futhi uzenza sengathi nibuyelane ngenxa yezizathu ezithile ezicashile. Kufanele futhi uhlale uqaphile ukuze ubone izimpawu zokuthi ucela uthando, ezingenza kube lula ukukusebenzisa.
Uma udlule isiqephu esimangelengele futhi ngemva kokuhlunga izinto, akabonakali enguye, khona-ke lokhu kungase kube esinye sezibonakaliso ukuthi akakaze akuthande ngemva kokuhlukana. Ezimweni ezinjalo, kungase kube nezisusa ezifihlekile ngemuva kwesinqumo sakhe sokubuyelana nawe, futhi ngokusobala, ukuthanda ukungabi omunye wabo. Esimeni esinjalo, kufanele ubheke izimpawu zokuthi uziphoqa ukuthi akuthande futhi akakuthandi ngempela.
Ukuxhumana kuyisisekelo sabo bonke ubudlelwano futhi uma engasakunaki okushoyo, kungaba uphawu oluqinisekile lokuthi ukuchibiyela bekungekona lokho obucabanga ukuthi bekuyikho. Ukungabi nesithakazelo empilweni yakho nokuchitha okukukhathazayo nezinkinga zakho ngaphandle kokubanika umcabango wesibili kungenye yezimpawu eziyinhloko ukuthi uthando lwakhe alulona olwangempela. Angase enze kude noma angabi nandaba nemizwa yakho. Angase angasakuvumi ukuba khona kwakho futhi angase angakulaleli lapho uzama ukuxoxa ngokuthile okubalulekile.
3. Ukubonisa uthando okweqile noma okungenalo nhlobo emphakathini
Ngenkathi efuna izimpawu angakaze akuthande, uthando noma ukwenyanya ukubonisa uthando esidlangalaleni kungaba wuphawu olukhohlisayo okufanele uluqonde. Ukungabikho ngokuphelele kokuboniswa kothando esidlangalaleni kuyethusa njengokuzitika ngokweqile. Ngokumangalisayo, ukubonisa uthando okweqile kungase kubonise ukuziphatha okunxephezela. Kungaba indlela yokugcina inkohliso yobudlelwano obunempilo nobunothando phambi kwabanye. Ngokuvamile lokhu kubangelwa isidingo sokuvala ukungabi khona kothando ngokubonisa uthando olungadingekile.
Ezinye zezimpawu aziphoqayo ukuthi akuthande ukuthi unomusa kuwena uma nobabili niphakathi kwabantu. Ungase ubone ushintsho ekuziphatheni kwakhe lapho uphakathi kwabangane bakho noma abanye abantu bebonke. Ungase uqaphele ukuthi uthukuthela noma udelele kuphela uma usendaweni yakho siqu. Ngesikhathi sakho uwedwa, angase acasuke ngezinto angazange aziphendule lapho usendaweni yomphakathi. Lokhu kuwuphawu uthando lwakhe alulona olwangempela futhi luyi-facade nje yokufihla imizwa yakhe yangempela.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, lapho ubuhlobo bungokoqobo futhi bujwayelekile, abantu bavame ukujabulela ukwethula abalingani babo kubangani babo nomndeni. Kodwa-ke, enye yezimpawu azenzisa uthando lwakhe uma engakwethuli kubangani bakhe noma emndenini noma enqaba ukuveza okwakhe. uthando esidlangalaleni. Ebudlelwaneni obungamanga, umlingani wakho angase angafuni ukubamba izandla noma ukwabelana ngokuqabula esidlangalaleni. Qiniseka ukuthi lokhu akulona icala lapho uphoqa ubuhlobo, yingakho kufanele enze sengathi uyakuthanda futhi. Futhi uma kungenjalo, qiniseka ukuthi ubhekana naye ngaphambi kokuba kuphuze kakhulu.
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4. Ukushintsha kwemizwelo
Umngane wami wake wangitshela ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi unomuzwa wokuthi isoka lakhe linobuntu obuhlukene. Wabuza, “Kungani othile enze sengathi uyakuthanda ngolunye usuku futhi akuzonde ngakusasa?” Uthe isoka lakhe lathola eminye yemikhuba yakhe mihle ngolunye usuku, lase limthethisa ngemikhuba efanayo ngokulandelayo. Lokhu kungaba yingxenye yezimpawu azenza uma ethandana ngoba akakaze amthande kwasekuqaleni umlingani wakhe.
Umuntu akakwazi ukuphila amanga unomphela futhi ngokushesha noma kamuva isifihla-buso siyowa. Phakathi ku ubudlelwano mbumbulu, ungase uqaphele ukuthi umlingani wakho angase ahlangabezane nenani eliyinqaba lokuguquguquka kwemizwa. Angase ashintshe njalo umqondo wakhe mayelana nokubhuka isidlo sakusihlwa, izinsuku zobusuku, nanoma yiziphi ezinye izinhlelo ozisungulayo. Ukuguquguquka kwemizwa yakhe kungase kuqhube isinqumo sakhe, futhi angase angabonisi ukukhathazeka noma inhlonipho ngawe nokukhetha kwakho.
Angase abambezele noma akhansele izinhlelo ngokuhlangene ngesikhathi elindele ukuthi uvumelane futhi ulungise nezinhlelo zakhe cishe ngaso sonke isikhathi. Lokhu kungase kusuke ekubeni necala elimphoqayo ukuthi afihle izimpawu zokuthi akakaze akuthande eqinisweni. Lokhu kuguquguquka kwemizwa kungabangela ukuhlukumezeka kwengqondo kanye nomzimba futhi kungenye yezimpawu eziyingozi kakhulu ezikhomba uthando lwakhe lomgunyathi. Uma engahambisani kakhulu nemizwa yakhe nendlela asabela ngayo kweyakho, kungaba olunye lwezimpawu aqamba amanga ngokuthi uyakuthanda.
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5. Wenza sengathi uyakuthanda ngombhalo
Kungani umuntu engenza sengathi uyakuthanda ngokusebenzisa imibhalo kuwumbuzo othakazelisayo. Ebudlelwaneni bamanga, umlingani angase aqambe amanga komunye njalo. Ukungathembeki kungase kube isimilo sakhe sesibili futhi angase akutshele amanga ngakho konke. Lokhu kungabi namfihlo kungezinye zezimpawu zokuthi akakaze akuthande ngokweqiniso. Ukuthumela izinkulungwane imiyalezo yothando kanye nama-emoji ngenkathi usiza ngezinhlelo ezingokoqobo zokubhekana nomuntu oyedwa kungenye yezimpawu ezibaluleke kakhulu ukuthi akakaze akuthande futhi wenza sengathi uyakuthanda.
Angase akhululeke ukuveza uthando lwakhe ngocingo kodwa ukukhuluma izinto ezifanayo mathupha kungase kumenze akhathazeke noma angakhululeki. Angase akukhohlise noma akukhohlise ukuba ukholelwe ezindabeni ezingamanga ukuze afihle amaphutha akhe futhi enze sengathi uyakuthanda ngisho nalapho engenayo imizwa yangempela ngawe. Ngaphandle kwalokho, ukuthumela imiyalezo kungaba udonga oluphelele lokucasha ngemuva uma ezama ukuziveza njengomuntu ongeyena.
Lokhu kungase kube olunye lwezimpawu zokuthi akanamizwa ngawe futhi udlala nje ngesikhathi sakho nemizwa yakho. Awufuni ukuzitshala ebudlelwaneni obunjalo lapho kungekho ukuzibophezela noma ukungathí sina kolunye uhlangothi. Uma uvame ukuzithola ubuza ukuthi, “Ingabe ungithanda ngempela, noma udlala ngami?”, kungenzeka ukuthi ungento ethile. Ezimweni ezinjalo, kungcono kakhulu ukuba nengxoxo efanele naye futhi wenze izinqumo eziqinile, ngoba awufuni ukuchitha isikhathi namandla akho ngento engekho.
6. Unomona ngabanye empilweni yakho
Lapho umlingani wakho enezisusa ezicashile futhi inhliziyo yakhe ingenalo uthando lwangempela ngawe, angase abe nemizwa yomona noma yomona. Futhi ukubhekana nomona noma umhawu ongenampilo ebudlelwaneni kuwumsebenzi okhathazayo futhi owumthwalo. Angase azizwe engakhululekile lapho usondela kakhulu kwabanye abantu empilweni yakho futhi angase azizwe sengathi uyaphuma ekubambeni kwakhe.
Le mizwa idala ukukhohlisa nobuqili obungenasidingo njengoba engase afune ukukuhlukanisa nabanye abantu. Konke lokhu kukhohlisa kuvela esidingweni sakhe sokuba nawe yedwa futhi kungase kuholele ebudlelwaneni obungenampilo noma obunobuthi. Ukungenelela kwakhe ebudlelwaneni bakho nabanye abantu kungakukhungathekisa, futhi esimweni esibi kakhulu, ushiye isibazi sengqondo impilo yonke. Lena akuyona indlela uthando lwangempela oluzizwa ngayo. Uthando luyinto efudumele futhi enothisayo, into ekusiza ukuthi ukhule, into ehlala ikhona, kuyilapho ikunikeza isikhala esidingekayo.
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7. Ayifaki umzamo futhi ayiyeke kalula
Uthando mbumbulu alukwazi ukumelana novivinyo lwesikhathi nezinsizi. Uma umlingani wakho ephonsa ithawula ngokushesha nje lapho uhlangabezana nengxabano noma noma yikuphi ukuphazamiseka ebuhlotsheni bakho, kungase kube esinye sezibonakaliso ezicacile ukuthi uthando lwakhe luyaphela noma akakaze akuthande nhlobo. Umuntu onithandayo futhi onikhathalelayo uzoqinisekisa ukuthi akukho ukungabaza nokudideka phakathi kwenu nobabili.
Bonke ubudlelwano budinga umzamo kubo bobabili ozakwethu. Kodwa uma uqaphela ukuthi nguwe wedwa ofakayo umzamo ebudlelwaneni bakho, kuba sobala ukuthi omunye umuntu akanayo imizwa yangempela ngawe. Ubudlelwano obunjalo buvamise ukuba ohlangothini olulodwa futhi, kaningi, kunokuntula ukwethembana nokuhloniphana phakathi kwabalingani. Lokhu kungase kube olunye lwezimpawu ezinkulu zokuthi akanayo imizwa ngawe futhi uyazenzisa.
8. Awulokothi uxoxe ngekusasa
Bonke ubudlelwano bangempela busekelwe ethembeni lokuthi uthando lwakho alusoze lwaphela futhi cishe luyohlala ukuphila kwakho konke. Kodwa-ke, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umuntu unomoya okhululekile futhi ongenangqondo, ukukhuluma ngekusasa lakhe nawe kuyisivivinyo esibalulekile esingafakazela izinhloso zakhe eziqotho nothando ngawe. Zama ukuxoxisana naye ngezinhlelo zesikhathi esizayo futhi uma umbona ecasuka noma enza ngokunganaki, mhlawumbe, akangene ebuhlotsheni besikhathi eside futhi lesi sibopho simane nje siwukuzulazula - ngaphandle kwemizwelo yothando.
Ukugwema izingxoxo ezinjalo ngokuphelele kungase kube olunye lwezimpawu zokuthi akanayo imizwa ngawe futhi usuke esekujabuleleni okuthile ngaphambi kokuba adlulele phambili. Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi ungakulungeli a ubudlelwane besikhathi eside kuyinto evamile, inqobo nje uma bobabili ozakwethu besekhasini elilodwa. Kodwa uma ungaqiniseki kakhulu mayelana nokuthi umi kuphi, khona-ke lokhu kuhlolwa kuzokusiza ukusula isimo sakho sobudlelwane.
Uma uzama ukucacisa ikusasa lenu ndawonye, kungasiza futhi ukuqaphela izimpawu eziphoqayo ukuthi akuthande futhi akakuthandi kwasekuqaleni. Uma ungacacile mayelana nokuthi ubudlelwano bakho bumi kuphi, kungcono ukuba nengxoxo nomuntu oyedwa futhi nithole izinto eziza kuqala kuwe nezinhlelo zesikhathi esizayo. Qiniseka ukuthi awunikezi izimpawu ozincengela uthando futhi uzame ukwahlulela isimo ngendlela enengqondo ngangokunokwenzeka ukuze ugweme ukudabuka kwenhliziyo okuzayo.
9. Izenzo zakhe azihambisani namazwi akhe
Muva nje umzala wami wangivulela isifuba ngobudlelwano bakhe, wathi, “Uthi uyangithanda kodwa mina angicabangi kanjalo. Ukuvumelana komlingiswa kubeka isisekelo sokwethembana ebudlelwaneni. Uma umfana ehlala ephila ngokuvumelana nezithembiso zakhe noma egcina izwi lakhe, maningi amathuba okuthi wethembe amazwi nezenzo zakhe. Kodwa-ke, uma ehlala esho into eyodwa futhi eqhubeka enza into ehluke ngokuphelele, kungesinye sezibonakaliso ezicacile azikhohlisa ngesikhathi sobudlelwane.
Uma ekutshela ukuthi uyakuthanda kodwa unomuzwa wokuthi uzama ukukuzwisa ubuhlungu noma ukungakuhloniphi, kuwuphawu olugqama kunazo zonke ukuthi akakaze akuthande, noma uthando lwakhe lokuzenzisa luyaphela. Kungaba ngcono ukube ububhekile izimpawu ezibonisa ukuthi akakuhloniphi ezimweni ezinjalo. Qiniseka ukuthi awuphoqi ubuhlobo lapho engafuni ukubeka isikhathi sakhe namandla kukho kwasekuqaleni.
Izimpawu zothando lwakhe akulona olwangempela zihlala ziphambi kwakho. Kodwa kudinga ukubhekwa kanye nendlela engachemile ukuze bazibone. Nakumamuvi, alukho 'uthando lweqiniso' olungenayo idrama encane oluzungezile. Kodwa ukukhomba uthando lomgunyathi empilweni yangempela kungase kube inselele enkulu kunazo zonke. Izimpawu aqamba amanga ngazo ukuthi uyakuthanda ngokuvamile kunzima ukuzibona kunalokho ongase ucabange. Uma uthatha isinqumo sokuhlola insizwa ukuze ubone ukuthi ikuthanda ngempela yini, lezi zinkomba zokuxoxa cishe zingakusiza ukuthi ubone izimpawu zokuthi uthando lwakhe akulona olwangempela.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Lokhu kuyinto oyizwa ngaphakathi. Noma ngabe uzizwa ukhululeke kakhudlwana eduze kwakhe, noma ingqondo nomzimba wakho ukusabela ngokuzenzakalelayo, izimpawu zokuthi uthando lwangempela kulula ukuzibona kuwena nakumlingani wakho. Ungabona uma kuwuthando lweqiniso ngendlela abakubuka ngayo, indlela abakuphatha ngayo, indlela abakwenzela ngayo izimpawu ezincane, indlela abakubeka ngayo kuqala ezimpilweni zabo, nokunye.
Uma bekude ngokomzwelo futhi ngokuvamile bengenakho mayelana nokuxhumana nawe, kungenye yezimpawu eziyinhloko zabo zokukhohlisa uthando ngawe. Ingabe kukhona ukuntula ukukhathazeka ngawe? Kungabe nguwena ohlezi ninenzela izinhlelo nina nobabili? Ingabe uhlale enikezela ngesikhathi sokungqubuzana? Lezi kungaba yizo zonke izimpawu ozisebenzisayo ongakwazi ukubona uma insizwa ikhohlisa uthando lwayo kuwe futhi inawe ngezisusa ezithile ezicashile mhlawumbe.
Uma izenzo zakhe zingahambelani namazwi akhe, kungasho ukuthi uqamba amanga ngokuthi uyakuthanda futhi akakuthandi ngempela. Uma engakwenzi ngempela umzamo ebudlelwaneni benu, kodwa elokhu esho nje ukuthi ukuthanda kangakanani futhi uyakwazisa kangakanani, kusho ukuthi uqamba amanga ngokukuthanda futhi akakwenzi. Lokhu kuyiqiniso nakakhulu uma uzame ukubhekana naye ngokuziphatha kwakhe kodwa uyenqaba ukushintsha.
Izingxenye Eziyi-10 Ezibalulekile Zokuthembana Ebudlelwaneni
Izinto Eziyi-12 Okungafanele Ungalokothi Uziyeke Ebudlelwaneni
Izindlela Eziyi-10 Zokuqinisekisa Ukuthi Uyakuthola Ukunakwa Nothando Lomuntu Wakho
Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
