Ubudlelwano Bamanga - Izindlela eziyi-15 Zokukhomba Ukuthi Ukoyedwa

Kuyadabukisa kodwa kuyiqiniso ukuthi siphila emhlabeni wobudlelwane mbumbulu. Lokhu kuvezwa kahle kakhulu ezinkundleni zokuxhumana. Isidingo sokubonisa isithombe se-hunky-dory sobudlelwane sinamandla kangangokuthi abantu bavame ukusebenza ekwakheni i-façade ngaphezu kokwenza umzamo wokulenza linakekele futhi linothando lweqiniso. Esinye sezici zobudlelwano mbumbulu ukuthi buhlale bugcwele izimpawu ukuthi uyakuthanda noma uthando lwakhe luwukuzenzisa olwembeswa umhlaba.

Ake ngichaze ngesibonelo khona uzoqonda kangcono. U-Liah noRoy (igama elishintshiwe) babehlala bemakishana ezinkundleni zokuxhumana. Uma uLiah ezuze okuthile, uRoy wayengowokuqala ukuhalalisela intombazane yakhe futhi akhulume ngezimfanelo zayo ngokuningiliziwe. Kodwa uLiah ngo-WhatsApp wayehlale ekhononda kumngane wakhe u-Annie.

U-Liah watshela u-Annie ukuthi uRoy wayengameseki futhi wayengamnaki futhi wayevame ukwenza njengesoka elizicabangela lona. U-Annie wambuza, “Pho kungani uhlale uthandwa kangaka kuSM?” U-Liah waphendula, “Ngeke ulindele ukuthi silwe ku-SM. Kufanele sibe yi-lovey-dovey akunjalo?” Ubudlelwano mbumbulu umqondo odidayo ngempela. Zinokubukeka kobudlelwane obujwayelekile, obusebenzayo.

Kusukela othandweni kuya emdlalweni, yonke into ngalobo budlelwano ifana nobovamile kodwa ngaphakathi ayinalutho. Abantu bangaphandle ngokuvamile abanalo i-inkling yalokho kuze kube yilapho kwenzeka ukuhlukana. Bese kubhidlika yonke into ngokuphazima kweso, kuvulwe ikani lezikelemu abanye baze bazitike ngama-blackmailing, i-SM shaming nokunye okungenjalo.

Buyini Ngempela Ubudlelwano Bamanga?

Uma ufuna i-fake relationship meaning, ake sikutshele ukuthi empeleni kusho ukuthi indoda noma owesifazane uzenza sengathi uyakuthanda. Ubuhlobo mbumbulu yibo obunokubukeka okukhazimulayo komuntu ojabulayo, onothando. Inenkohliso yabalingani ababili abazinikele ababonakala bezama ngokweqiniso ukwenza ubudlelwano busebenze. Nokho, imizwa yabo ayihambisani ngokuphelele namazwi nezenzo zabo.

Yingakho izimpawu azenza sengathi uyakuthanda noma imizwa yakhe ziyinkohliso ziqala ukuvela ekuqaleni kobudlelwano. Nakuba bobabili abalingani bengase bakhethe ukuziba lawa mafulegi abomvu ekuqaleni, lezi zimpawu ziba namandla ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, futhi ekugcineni, ziba nomthelela omubi kusibopho sombhangqwana.

Omunye angase azibuze njalo, kungani umuntu angakhohlisa ubuhlobo? Izizathu zalokho ziningi. Ngezinye izikhathi, abantu bakwenza kuphela ukuze baziphazamise emzwangenwe wabo ocindezelayo. Kwezinye izimo, izisusa zabo zingase zibe zimbi kakhulu. Bangase babe kuyo ukuze bathole imali futhi ngokuyisisekelo bangabambi begolide ukuze bakhuphule izinga labo noma bafuna ukukwenza ngenxa nje yokuqhosha.

Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo ebuhlotsheni obunjalo kuthatha isihlalo esingemuva esimangalisayo. Ubuhlobo obunjalo abunalo uthando lwangempela nokukhathalela kobangempela. Inesimo sobudlelwano kuphela ezimweni zangaphandle. Njengoba siye sathuthela ezweni ubudlelwano mbumbulu, imigomo efana cuffing, ukudoba ukuphola, Futhi ukujola ebhentshini sezidume kakhulu.

Isibonelo, umlingani womgunyathi ufuna nje ukukuyisa emaphathini ukuze abonakale ehlezi futhi ejabule phambi kwabangane bakhe abaphumelelayo. Bangafuna ukuba nesimo sobudlelwano mbumbulu ku-SM, kodwa ungase ube intombi yendondo noma isoka elilindile.

Ukuze bazitike ngamalungelo okugabisa, bangase bakubukise nje ukuze bakubonise kodwa bacime izibani kuwe nothando lwakho ngokushesha nje lapho ufika ekhaya. Lezi yizimpawu ukuthi uthando lwakhe alulona olwangempela noma wenza sengathi uyakuthanda. Ngakho-ke manje uthola ukukhukhuleka kokuthi ubudlelwano bamanga bumayelana nani. Alukho uthando lwangempela, konke kubekiwe futhi umzamo uwukukhombisa umhlaba ukuthi bayizithandani ze-IT ezijabulisana kakhulu ndawonye.

Uma ufuna ukuhlola i-movie yobudlelwano mbumbulu, isiphakamiso sethu sizoba Isoka lami mbumbulu, indaba yokuthi abantu ababili bakhohlisa kanjani umshado ukuze nje bathole izipho nezipho. Kuyahlekisa okwenzeka uma uzenza othandweni.

15 Izimpawu Ukuthi Usebudlelwaneni Bamanga

Ukuba sebudlelwaneni bomgunyathi obuhlangothi olulodwa kungagcina kuyisambulo esidabukisayo kuwe. Ngoba kungenzeka ukuthi unikeza u-100% wakho ebudlelwaneni kodwa umlingani wakho angafuna nje lobo budlelwano bokuzenzisa. Umuntu kumele athande ngokukhululeka kodwa futhi axwaye iqiniso lokuthi ubudlelwano akubo buyinkohliso obungase buwohloke noma iluphi usuku.

Ukuze ungakhohliswa kalula, kufanele ubheke izimpawu zothando lomgunyathi kumuntu wesilisa noma izimpawu azenza sengathi uyakuthanda. Lezi zimpawu zobudlelwano mbumbulu zingakusiza kalula ukuthi ubone ukuthi ungumuntu nje kuthathwe kalula noma cha.

1. Umlingani wakho uthanda kakhulu uthando

Ungazi kanjani uma umuntu enza sengathi uyakuthanda? Naka ukuthi ungakanani umzamo owubona ohlangothini lwabo ekwenzeni ubudlelwano buqine. Lapho othile ekuholela phansi endleleni yasengadini futhi enenkohliso kuphela engqondweni bazokwenza imizamo emincane noma bangabi nayo nhlobo kwezothando. Bangase bathandane nawe kuphela uma kufeza izifiso zabo zobugovu futhi kubenza bazizwe bethandwa. Kodwa-ke, bazokhathalela kancane ukuthi izidingo zakho zothando zingaba yini.

2. Ukunaka kancane kulokho okushoyo

“Uyakhumbula leya ndaba engakutshela ngayo ngaleso sikhathi lapho ngiya e-Amsterdam?” Uma usho izinto ezinjalo, kungenzeka ukuthi ngeke bazi ukuthi ukhuluma ngani. Uma umuntu engenandaba nawe, naye uyohluleka ukuba nesithakazelo ezintweni omtshela zona. Lokhu kungenye yezimpawu eziyisixwayiso azenza sengathi uyakuthanda ngoba abantu besifazane bavamise ukunaka ngendlela engokwemvelo.

Lapho owesifazane etshalwe ngokomzwelo ngempela kothile, uzokhumbula imininingwane emincane ngalowo muntu. Ngakho-ke, uma usothandweni lapho noma yini owabelana ngayo nentombi yakho ingabhalisi kuyo, ungayibala phakathi kwezimpawu zokuthi akasakuthandi noma okungenzeka ukuthi akasakuthandi.

Uma kunjalo uma ubatshela isisho sobudlelwane bomgunyathi njengokuthi, “Ungasebenzisi umuntu ukuze uzuze wena ngoba awazi ukuthi kubuhlungu kangakanani uma eselazi iqiniso,” ngeke aze abhalise naye.

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3. Izingxoxo zomile

Abagcini nje ngokukulalela, kodwa baphinde babeke umzamo omkhulu wokuba nezingxoxo ezithela izithelo nawe. Ubudlelwano bakhelwe phezu kwabo izingxoxo ezihlabayo lokho kukugcina unamathele kubuntu bomunye umuntu. Nokho, ebudlelwaneni bamanga, izingxoxo ziyisicefe futhi zibuthuntu ngendlela esabekayo. Akukho ukuqhubeka kwemvelo engxoxweni futhi kuvela njengomzamo wamabomu futhi osemthethweni.

Uma ubunomuzwa wokuthi izingxoxo zakho ziphoqelekile futhi kufanele uhambe ibanga elide ukuze ukhiphe umlingani wakho, lokho nakho ngempumelelo encane noma engekho, umbhalo usodongeni: intombazane ikhohlisa uthando lwayo ngawe noma insizwa ayinayo imizwa yangempela ngawe.

4. Banomusa kuwe kuphela eduze kwabangane babo

Esinye sezibonakaliso ukuthi uthando lwakhe alulona olwangempela uma ubuhle bakhe budlula ngokuzumayo okulindele lapho useduze nabanye abantu. Umuntu onjalo ufuna ukwenza umbukiso womphakathi kuphela. Uma eba nesithukuthezi ayeke ukuqabula esiphongweni akujabulele ukukunikeza esidlangalaleni, lapho nje ufika ekhaya, wazi ukuthi ubengekho kwasekuqaleni. Kungezinye zezimpawu ezisobala azenza sengathi uyakuthanda.

Ngokunjalo, enye yezimpawu ezinkulu zokuthi akathandani nawe ukuthi uzokugwema ukukhombisa uthando endaweni yakho. Nakuba engase angakunaki ukushelelisa isandla sakho okhalweni lwakhe emgwaqeni, ngisho nokuthinta kancane kuzobonakala kumzonda uma nobabili. Lokhu akuvamile kakhulu kwabesifazane abathandana ngokweqiniso futhi kwenzeka kuphela lapho bengenandaba.

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5. Akukho singeniso kubazali

Uma ubudlelwano bubucayi noma busendleleni eya kokuthile okuzuzisa kakhudlwana, abantu ngokuvamile bayakujabulela ukwethula abalingani babo emindenini yabo. Ukufaka umuntu obalulekile empilweni yakho kuhumusha ukumengeza nokumethula kulo lonke iqembu elihlanyayo. Nokho, enye yezimpawu zokuthi uthando lwakhe alulona olwangempela uma engazihluphi ngokukwenza uhlangane nomndeni.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma ngempela utshale imali ebudlelwaneni futhi ufuna ukuthatha isinyathelo esilandelayo sokwazisa intombi yakho kubantu osondelene nabo kodwa ilokhu ikuhlehlisa, ungabala phakathi kwezimpawu ezenza sengathi uyakuthanda.

6. Alukho uthando ngemva kocansi

Kunzima ukusho ukuthi, ebudlelwaneni bamanga, ucansi luyahlupheka noma cha. Kungase kuphazamise ingqondo ngisho noma lungekho uxhumano lwemizwa. Kodwa-ke, ukusondelana enihlanganyela ngakho lapho ucansi seluphelile nakanjani kuyontuleka.

Angase athande ucansi, kodwa ngingakuthandi ngisho nangengxenye. Noma uma owesifazane enza sengathi uyakuthanda, angase abonakale ekude futhi enganakiwe ngisho nangesikhathi sesenzo. Ukugona amashidi, ukukulethela ikhofi embhedeni, noma ukuhleka ngokucasuka futhi uphikise amahlaya amadala, yizinto okungenzeka bangazimisele ukuzenza uma isenzo senziwe. Bangase bavele bavale uziphu baphume. Uzenza sengathi uyakuthanda.

7. Ingabe ngempela uzizwa sengathi uyabazi?

Esinye sezibonakaliso ezibalulekile ukuthi uthando lwakhe alulona olwangempela uma uqaphela ngezikhathi ezithile ukuthi awazi nhlobo ngomlingani wakho. Lapho bengenandaba nawe, ngeke bakuvulele isifuba. Bangase babe nezinto abazithandayo kanye nezinto zokuzilibazisa ongase ungazi nhlobo.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, bangase babe nezinto ezixakile kanye nezindlela ezithakazelisayo abangase bangazivezi kuwe. Mhlawumbe bajabulela amafilimu amadala ase-Japanese noma bathanda ukuqoqa amagobolondo emabhishi- nokho lezi izinto ongase ungakwazi ukuzibona noma ujabulele ngazo.

8. Khohlwa nganoma iziphi izenzo ezinhle ebudlelwaneni mbumbulu

Noma mhlawumbe, noma yikuphi ukushukuma komzimba okuthandekayo kube bonke. Ebudlelwaneni bomgunyathi, ungaba nenhlanhla yokuthola isixha sezimbali ngosuku lwakho lokuzalwa (okungukuthi uma bekhumbula ngempela). Esinye sezibonakaliso zobudlelwane mbumbulu ukuthi bakhetha ukungatshali noma yimaphi amandla ekwenzeni uzizwe ukhethekile. Ukukuphekela ukudla okunomsoco noma ukukukhipha ukuze uyoziphona lapho uzizwa uphansi, yizinto abangafuni ukuzenza.

Ngakho-ke, uma uzibuza ukuthi umtshela kanjani uma umuntu enza sengathi uyakuthanda, vele uhlale ucabange ukuthi ugcine nini umlingani wakho ukwenza into eyenza inhliziyo yakho yeqe? Awubonakali ukukhumbula? Maningi amathuba okuthi usothandweni lapho umuntu wesifazane enza sengathi uyakuthanda noma indoda inawe ngoba usebenzela yona.

9. Akukho kukhulunywa ngamathemba esikhathi esizayo

Enye yezimpawu zothando lomgunyathi endodeni ukuthi ibona lingekho ikusasa nawe. Uma ushaywe umuntu ngokweqiniso, ufuna ukuba khona kwakhe kuqhubekisele phambili impilo yakho. Nokho ebudlelwaneni bamanga, omunye umuntu uyazi ukuthi lokhu kuzophela maduze. Ngakho-ke, abazange bacabange ngakho ngoba wawungekho nhlobo emibonweni yabo yesikhathi esizayo.

Uthanda ukubukisa ngesimo sakhe sobudlelwano mbumbulu ku-SM kodwa akakhulumi ngekusasa ndawonye. Ngokufanayo, uma ehlaba ikhwelo ngesikhathi ukhuluma ngisho nangesikhathi esizayo esiseduze, khohlwa izinhlelo zesikhathi eside, kuphakathi kwezimpawu zakudala azenza sengathi uyakuthanda.

10. Izimpi nezikhalo azinakwa

Isici esisodwa sayo yonke idrama yobudlelwano mbumbulu ukuthi kukhona ukulwa njalo. Nokho umlingani mbumbulu akaboni sizathu sokukududuza noma ukuzama ukuxazulula inkinga. Uma ubambele igqubu, alisusi nolulodwa unwele emizimbeni yabo. Lezi zinkinga zingase zibulale amathumbu kodwa zizokushiya ungenamandla. Lokhu kungase kube nzima ngoba, ebudlelwaneni bomgunyathi, izinkinga eziningi zivele zixutshwe ngaphansi kukakhaphethi.

Ungazi kanjani uma umuntu enza sengathi uyakuthanda? Naka ukuthi isimo sakho somzwelo sibaluleke kangakanani kubo. Uma kuke kwaba nezimo lapho ubhavumula amehlo ngoba ulinyazwe into eshiwo umlingani wakho futhi engafuni nokuvuma ukuthi uyalimaza, ubuhlobo bakho bufana neqiniso njenge-sandcastle.

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11. Ukunganakwa

Enye yezimpawu zothando lomgunyathi endodeni yilapho ukhetha ukungakunaki ngezikhathi zobunzima. Futhi uma intombazane ikhohlisa uthando lwayo ngawe, ngeke ithinteke ngokuphelele ngezinkinga zakho nomaye. Phakathi nezinsuku zakho eziphansi noma izigaba ezinzima, ubudlelwano bomgunyathi ngeke bukunike induduzo oyidingayo.

Kuyoba nokuntuleka okuphelele kokukhathalela ohlangothini lomunye wakho obalulekile. Ungase ushiywe uzizwa uwedwa futhi usebenzisa amandla akho phakathi nezikhathi ezinzima.

12. Ukuphaphatheka kakhulu uma kuziwa ekwenzeni izinhlelo

Ebudlelwaneni bomgunyathi, umlingani wakho angase angazithatheli phezulu izinhlelo noma amashejuli akho. Bazothatha izinqumo zakho kalula futhi esikhundleni salokho bakhethe ukwenza ngokuthanda kwabo, ngokuya ngezifiso zabo. Imizwa yabo izoqhuba izenzo zabo esikhundleni sokuhlonipha wena. Isibonelo, kungenzeka ukuthi uhlela uhambo izinyanga kodwa bangase bashintshe umqondo wabo ngalo kuye ngezimo zabo.

Ebudlelwaneni bamanga, omunye umuntu akasoze ahlonipha umzamo owenzayo ukuchitha isikhathi naye. Lapho engasenandaba noma engasenakukhathazeka mayelana nemizwa yakho nalokho okulindele futhi lokhu kuntuleka kokukhathazeka kuba sobala, akukho ukuphika ukuthi usebudlelwaneni mbumbulu.

13. Ukukhohlwa izinto kwenzeka kaningi ebudlelwaneni mbumbulu

“Uxolo, ngikhohliwe ukukufonela futhi,” noma “Hhayi, ngikhohlwe ukuletha iwayini,” amagama ongase uwazwe kaningi. Lapho umuntu etshalwe imali encane ngokomzwelo, kungokwemvelo ukuthi ungabi semqondweni wakhe kaningi. Bangase bahlale bekhohlwa izinto obatshela zona ngawe, ubacele ukuba bakwenze noma baxoxe nabo.

“Eshu, kuvele kwashelela emqondweni wami,” empeleni isiqubulo sokuthi “angicabangi ngawe nhlobo.” Uphenduka umcabango lapho umuntu wesifazane ezenza sengathi uyakuthanda noma indoda ikhohlisa imizwa yayo. Yazi ukuthi awuzizwa ubalulekile ebudlelwaneni ukuthi buyini: esinye sezimpawu ezinkulu zokuthi akathandani nawe noma akakaze akuthande kwasekuqaleni.

14. Kukhulunywa kakhulu nge ex yabo

Isici esabisa kakhulu sedrama yobudlelwano mbumbulu yiqiniso lokuthi mhlawumbe ungase ube i-rebound elula. Esimeni esinjalo, umlingani wakho angase akhulume nge-ex yakhe kaningi. Okubi kakhulu uma bekuqhathanisa nabo. Lokho kuwuphawu lwakho lokugijima. Ngokusobala imizwa yabo ibuswa omunye umuntu.

Ungangeni kulolu gibe lokusetshenziswa ngumuntu esathandana naye kucaca ukuthi. Lobu budlelwano bamanga bubasiza nje ukuthi bahlale bephazamisekile ngoba benjalo namanje ayidluli i-ex yabo.

15. Amanga amhlophe akhohlisayo

Ebudlelwaneni bamanga, umlingani wakho uzokwenza amanga kuwe kujwayelekile kakhulu. Kungaba ngabo bona ukubenza babonakale bethandeka kakhulu kunalokho abayikho empeleni. Bangase bafune ukuziqhayisa futhi babonakale becebile futhi bephumelelayo esikhundleni sokwabelana ngamaqiniso abo. Bangase futhi baqambe amanga ngokuthi abakwazi ukuya ephathini noma ukuba matasa kakhulu ukuba bachithe isikhathi nawe.

Ukusuka emangeni amhlophe kuye enkohlisweni ekhohlisayo, ukuntula ukwethembeka nokungafihli kuphakathi kwezimpawu ezibonisa ukuthi uzenza sengathi uyakuthanda noma akanawo umuzwa wangempela ngawe.

Indlela Yokuqeda Ubudlelwano Bamanga?

Kuyacaca kula maphuzu angenhla ukuthi ubudlelwano bomgunyathi abuyona into embi. Uma ubonile ukuthi ungaba koyedwa, asikho isizathu sokuthi uqhubeke nokuba munye. Yisikhathi sokuvuma izimpawu azenza sengathi uyakuthanda noma unawe ngoba usebenzela isidingo okungenzeka unaso. Uma usukwenzile lokho, landela lezi zinyathelo ukuze ulahle isoka noma intombi mbumbulu futhi weqe isitimela sothando esidukisayo.

1. Hlalani phansi nixoxe

Uma ubona ukuthi owesifazane uzenza sengathi uyakuthanda noma indoda ikhohlisa imizwa yayo, kubalulekile ukubeka wonke amakhadi akho etafuleni futhi ukhuthaze nomlingani wakho ukuba enze okufanayo. Xhumana nabo ngokukhululekile ngazo zonke izindlela ocabanga ukuthi ubuhlobo bube bungelona iqiniso nokuthi yini obungayilindela kubo. Uma benqaba ukushintsha, unayo impendulo yakho futhi asikho isizathu sokunikeza amanye amathuba. Ubudlelwano obunjalo abufanele ukulondolozwa.

2. Ungavumeli ukucabanga kwabo kukuthobe

Ukuze agweme ukulahlekelwa ukunethezeka obanikeza kona, uzoqhubeka ebonisa izimpawu zokuthi uyakuthanda noma uzokwenza konke okusemandleni akhe ukufihla izimpawu azenza sengathi uyakuthanda. Bazohlala beveza izigameko zakudala nezinto abazisho ukuze bakukhumbuze ukuthi bayakuthanda. Nokho, usufinyelele esiphethweni mayelana nobuhlobo ngesizathu. Ungawavumeli angikuhloniphi phambili futhi ungaweli ngakho.

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3. Ungazami ukuba abangane

Thatha isikhathi sokuphumula ukuze ubhekane nobuhlungu benhliziyo futhi uchithe isikhathi nawe. Uma uqhubeka nokuba yingxenye yezimpilo zabo, bazophinde bakuthathe kalula. Vele uyekele futhi uhlale uqinile esinqumweni sakho. Ungcono kakhulu kunalokho. Bangase bakuthande futhi bakusebenzisele ukunethezeka kwabo. Kungumsebenzi wakho ukuwenqaba futhi ubeke imizwelo yakho kuqala.

4. Sebenzisa leli thuba ukuthuthukisa ukuzethemba kwakho

Ukuqaphela ukuthi awukufanelekeli ukuphathwa njengesitsha esiseceleni kuyisinyathelo sokuqala salolu hambo. Ngokuqhubekayo, kuza isikhathi sokuzindla okujulile nokuhlelwa kabusha kokuthi ufuna ukuba ngubani nokuthi yini okufanele ngempela. Ukusinda ebuhlungwini benhliziyo kufanele kube wukukhathazeka kwakho kuphela futhi kuyisinyathelo esibaluleke kakhulu sohambo. Kungaba isihogo esisodwa senqubo, ngendlela enhle! Uma usendaweni engcono, maningi amathuba okuthi ungaphinde uyengwe ebudlelwaneni bomgunyathi.

5. Jabulela inkululeko

Lapho ulahlekelwa okuthile ongakaze ube nakho, akuzange kube ukulahlekelwa okukhulu kangako kwasekuqaleni. Empeleni kuwukunqoba ngoba ngeke usamosha isikhathi noma amandla ngomuntu obengakufanele. Jabulela lokhu kunambitheka kwenkululeko, phuma lapho, futhi uthole umuntu wangempela ongatshala kuye imizamo yakho. Umhlaba uyi-oyster yakho!

Manje njengoba wazi kahle ukuthi ukutshela kanjani uma othile enza sengathi uyakuthanda futhi ubhekana nalesi simo, ungavumeli umlingani wakho mbumbulu ovela ebuhlotsheni mbumbulu akubophe. Nciphisa izibopho, phinda ulawule impilo yakho, thatha lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho okungajabulisi njengesifundo bese uqhubekela phambili. Uma uhlushwa imizwa yokukhashelwa futhi ukuthola kunzima ukwethemba abantu ngemva kokuba sebudlelwaneni mbumbulu, yazi ukuthi awuwedwa.

Izinkinga zokwethenjwa zivamile futhi zingasingathwa ngosizo lukachwepheshe onekhono. Abeluleki beBonobology zisize abantu abaningi ukuba baphile impilo engcono ngokwelulekwa nge-inthanethi futhi nawe ungakusebenzisa.

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