Lapho uSteve Martin oneminyaka engu-50 efika kumkakhe efilimini yaseHollywood yakudala, ethi Father of the Bride 2 , umangala kakhulu. “Wenzani George?”, ubuza ehleka, uphendula athi, “Indoda ayikwazi yini ukulala nomkayo?” Ingqikithi eyisisekelo? Imibhangqwana eshadile eneminyaka engu-50 ubudala ayikwazi yini ukuthandana ngokuthanda nje?
Le nkinga yabonakala kahle efilimini ye-Bollywood ewine imiklomelo i- Badhaai Ho , lapho ukukhulelwa okungalindelekile komlingisi uNeena Gupta ngemuva kweminyaka engu-50, kwaba yindaba yokuphelelwa yithemba ngamadodana akhe amancane aboshwe kanye nawo wonke umuntu oseduze naye. Uma ukwenza uthando ngale kweminyaka ethile kubhekwa njengokungavumelekile emphakathini, umbuzo uphakama - imibhangqwana eshadile eneminyaka engu-50 ubudala yenza uthando kangaki?
Ama-50s amakwe ngezinguquko ezinkulu zomzimba nempilo. Ngalesi sikhathi, izingane sezikhulile futhi zindiza isidleke, okuphoqa ozakwethu ukuthi baphinde bathole omunye nomunye. Futhi kuyinkathi lapho amadoda nabesifazane bebhekana nezinkinga ezinkulu zempilo, ngokuvamile okuholela ekwehleni kwezikhathi zobuhlobo bobulili.
Kukangaki imibhangqwana eseminyakeni yawo-50 ithandana? Ngokusobala, kunezici eziningana ezihilelekile. Abesifazane abadlula esikhathini sokunqamuka kokuya esikhathini babhekana nokuguquguquka kwemizwelo, ukushintshashintsha kwemizwelo, ukukhuluphala kanye nezinye izimpawu zomzimba ezibangela ukungakhululeki okukhulu. Lokhu kufaka phakathi izinguquko esithweni sangasese somuntu kanye nasesithweni sangasese somuntu. Njengoba amazinga e-estrogen ehla ngesikhathi sokunqamuka kokuya esikhathini, izicubu zesitho sangasese somuntu ziqala ukuba zincane futhi zinganwebeki kahle, okuholela ekomeni kwesitho sangasese somuntu sowesifazane, ukwehla kwesifiso sobulili somuntu, ucansi olubuhlungu , futhi kuthinte ulwazi oluphelele locansi.
UGinny no-Alan base beneminyaka engaphezu kwengu-25 beshadile. Njengoba besondela ekugubheni iminyaka engu-30, babona ukuthi ukusondelana kwabo ngokomzimba kwase kuncipha, futhi kwase kunesikhashana. UGinny uthi: “Kwabonakala kungasekho lapho sikhulisa izingane ezintathu, senza imisebenzi yethu futhi sakha ukuphila. “Ngokuphazima kweso, sabheka phezulu, futhi sekuphele izinyanga singathintani.”
Ukuntuleka kwesikhathi kuyisici esivamile uma kuziwa emibhangqwaneni eneminyaka engu-50 ubudala kanye nokusondelana. Uma umuntu engakaze alwenze ucansi isikhathi eside, uvalo lokuthi kumele enze isenzo lulokhu lukhula, okwenza kube nzima ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Amadoda nawo azizwa encishisiwe isifiso socansi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ngenxa yezinkinga ezihlobene ne-prostate kanye nezinye izindaba zezempilo. Konke lokhu kuthinta indlela imibhangqwana eshadile eneminyaka engu-50 eyenza ngayo uthando.
Yini Ehlanganisa Ukusondelana 'Okuvamile' Emshadweni?
Okuqukethwe
Ngaphambi kokuba siphendule umbuzo wokuthi imibhangqwana eneminyaka engu-50 ubudala yenza kangaki uthando, kuwukuhlakanipha ukuhlola ukuthi yini ehlanganisa ukusondelana okuvamile emshadweni. Manje, awukho umthetho wokuthi imibhangqwana eshadile kufanele ithandane kangaki, kodwa izinombolo zixoxa indaba.
Ngokusho kocwaningo olwenziwe ngo-2018, kubonakala sengathi ukuya ocansini izikhathi ezine kuya kwezihlanu ngesonto kwenzeka kuphela ku-5% wabantu abashadile, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi baneminyaka emingaki - okufakazela ukuthi akuvamile kakhulu ukuthi imibhangqwana eshadile ihlanganyele ocansini njalo.
Uma sikhuluma ngokukhethekile ngemibhangqwana eseminyakeni yawo-50, ucwaningo lwango-2013 lwabantu abangaphezu kuka-8000, olwenziwa izazi zezokuhlalisana kwabantu abadumile uPepper Schwartz, Ph.D. kanye no-James Witte, Ph.D., babe nokutholakele okuthakazelisayo abangabelana ngakho.
Ibalule ukuthi emibhangqwaneni eyahlolwa, u-31% uya ocansini okungenani izikhathi ezimbalwa ngesonto, kanti u-28% uya ocansini izikhathi ezimbalwa ngenyanga. Nokho, cishe u-8% wemibhangqwana, ubulili bulinganiselwe kanye ngenyanga, futhi u-33% wabo awukwenzi nhlobo.
Lolu ucwaningo olulodwa kuphela olwenziwe ngendaba yokuthi imibhangqwana eshadile eneminyaka engu-50 ubudala yenza kangaki uthando kodwa abanye baphinda le miphumela. Imiphumela ibonise ukuthi “abantu abangaphezu kwengxenye yesithathu abaseminyakeni yabo engu-50 benza ucansi izikhathi ezimbalwa ngesonto noma ngenyanga, okuyinto enhle uma kuqhathaniswa namaphesenti angu-43 abantu abaneminyaka engu-40 ababika ukuthi benza ucansi kanye ngesonto”, okubonisa ukuthi ukusondelana okuvamile emshadweni kuyahlukahluka kuye ngeminyaka kanye nezinye izici zendlela yokuphila.
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Ifunani Iminyaka Engu-50 Embhedeni?
Ucwaningo lwango -2015 olwanyatheliswa kuyi-Social Psychological and Personality Science lwembule ukuthi ama-45% emibhangqwana engaphezu kweminyaka engu-50 anelisekile kakhulu ngempilo yawo yobulili, okubonisa ukuthi ukuguga kuza nokuhlakanipha nokulinganisela.
Ezinye izifundo ziqinise le miphumela emangalisayo - ucwaningo olwenziwe yi-onepoll.com lwembule ukuthi abantu banamuhla abaneminyaka engu-50 ubudala baya ocansini njalo ezinsukwini ezimbalwa. Ngaphezu kwalokho, umuntu oyedwa kwabayi-10 uthi impilo yabo yocansi ingcono kakhulu lapho sebeneminyaka engu-50 kunanini ngaphambili.
Lokhu kungase kubangelwe imithwalo yemfanelo embalwa yemibhangqwana eseminyakeni yawo-50, enezingane esezikhulile, futhi ezinzile ngokwezimali kunangezinsuku zazo zobusha.
Ngokuqondene nokuthi yini amadoda nabesifazane abaneminyaka engu-50 ubudala abafuna embhedeni, impendulo ilula - ukuzanelisa ngokobulili kusukela ekuhlanganyeleni ngokomzwelo komunye nomunye.
Ngemva kokuwela iminyaka engu-50, ikhwalithi iyonke yobudlelwane ibaluleke kakhulu kubo kunokukhangwa ngokomzimba.
Eqinisweni, imibhangqwana eminingi ifakaza ukuthi izimpilo zabo zocansi ziyathuthuka ngemuva kokuwela iminyaka engama-50. Lapho owesifazane esedlulile kokunqamuka kokuya esikhathini futhi engasakhathazeki ngokukhulelwa, imibhangqwana eminingi ikuthola kulula ukuphumula futhi ibheke phambili ekwenzeni uthando ngaphandle kokucindezeleka ngokuvikela.
Ukwengeza, ozakwethu abathathe umhlalaphansi noma abasebenza isikhathi esithile kuphela banesikhathi esiningi namandla komunye nomunye, okuboniswa ekusondelaneni kwabo ngokomzimba omunye nomunye.
Esinye isici esibalulekile ekuthuthukisweni kwezimpilo zocansi, ulwazi abalingani abaluthatha eminyakeni eminingi beshadile. Lokhu kunomthelela omkhulu ekutheni imibhangqwana eneminyaka engu-50 ubudala yenza uthando kaningi kangakanani.
Ezimpilweni zabo ezimaphakathi, abantu maningi amathuba okuba bazi imizimba yabo kanye neyabalingani babo ngokuseduze, futhi bathole ukuthi bangakhuluma kanjani ngalokho abakuthola kujabulisa.
Iningi, uma kungenjalo, izithiyo zocansi ziye zachithwa yilesi sigaba sokuphila, futhi ukwanda kokuzethemba kwezocansi kuholela ocansini olungcono kubo bobabili abalingani.
Ucansi lungase futhi lube nokwaneliseka okukhulu ngokomzwelo njengoba luqhutshwa kancane ama-hormone kodwa luqhutshwa kakhulu yisifiso somuntu okuthandayo futhi omthandayo. Lukhulisa ukusondelana okukhulu ngokomzwelo.
Kubantu ababeshade besebancane - uma sebeqede i-hump yangemva kwe-honeymoon nezingane, izibopho zomndeni kanye nokuphishekela imisebenzi esezingeni eliphezulu, ukuhlangenwe nakho kwabo kwezocansi kungase kuqhubeke njengoba besesigabeni esingcono, esihamba kalula sempilo yabo.
Isilinganiso senani Lezikhathi Ngeviki Abashadile Abashadile Benza Uthando
Ucwaningo lufune ukuthola inani elimaphakathi lezikhathi imibhangqwana eshadile ethandana ngazo ngesonto. Okutholakele okujwayelekile kukhombe ukuthi kanye ngesonto kuyisilinganiso esinempilo kubo bonke imibhangqwana kuyo yonke iminyaka.
Ingxenye yocwaningo eqondiswe kubantu abadala abaneminyaka engu-57 kuya kwengama-85 yathola ubudlelwano obuseduze phakathi kwesikhathi somshado kanye nemvamisa yocansi, okubonisa impilo yocansi njengokumise kuka-U kugrafu.
Lokhu kusho ukuthi esigabeni sokuqala somshado, abantu baya ocansini kakhulu. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, lesi sibalo siqala ukwehla size sifinyelele ezingeni eliphansi kakhulu. Bese kancane kancane igrafu iqala ukuya phezulu futhi njengoba ifrikhwensi ithuthuka.
Ngakho-ke, Kukangaki Imibhangqwana Eshadile Eneminyaka Engu-50 Ilwenza Ngempela Uthando?
Ngemva kokuhlola ngokucophelela izifundo ezahlukahlukene, impendulo ayanele. Isizathu esidumile kakhulu sokuntuleka kocansi empilweni yabo ukungakwazi kwabalingani babo ukwenza lesi senzo, noma ukungabi nesifiso komlingani.
Nakuba kungase kubonakale kunzima ukukhuluma ngezinkinga zocansi zomuntu nazo zonke ezinye, kunezindlela ezithile zokwenza izikhathi zokulala ekamelweni zanelise. Nazi ezinye izixazululo ezilula zokuthuthukisa indlela imibhangqwana eshadile eneminyaka engu-50 eyenza ngayo uthando.
1. Vula imigqa yokuxhumana
Kuvamile ukuzibuza ukuthi 'indoda eneminyaka eko-50 ifunani embhedeni' noma 'ufunani owesifazane oneminyaka engu-50 embhedeni?' Kuvamile futhi ukuxwaya ukuyiveza nophathina wakho, ikakhulukazi uma ingxoxo isinesikhathi ilindile.
Njenganoma iyiphi inkinga yobudlelwano, isinyathelo sokuqala kufanele kube ukuxhumana ngezidingo zakho nomlingani wakho. Kungenzeka kakhulu ukuthi banezidingo ezifanayo futhi bangakujabulela ukuhlangana nawe phakathi nendawo. Kungenzeka futhi ukuthi babe namahloni kakhulu ukuziveza bona.
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U-Alec noTina base beneminyaka engu-30 beshadile. Ucansi lwalungakaze lube yinkinga baze bafika ku-50, lapho kwaba nokuzola okungazelelwe okwathatha cishe unyaka. Bobabili bakuzwile, kodwa akekho owakuvezayo. “Ngangikhuluphele,” kusho u-Alec. “Futhi, ngakhathala kalula futhi ngesaba ukuthi ukuqina kwami kwakungeke kube kuhle embhedeni. Ngangingafuni ukudumaza uTina.”
KuThina naye wayezitshela ukuthi umlingani wakhe uyamfulathela wabe esezihosha. Ekugcineni, waqunga isibindi wambuza ukuthi kwenzenjani. Lapho sebeqalile ukukhuluma ngokwesaba nokungabaza kwabo, izinto zaba lula kakhulu futhi bakwazi ukuzulazula bebuyela ekamelweni. Ukukhuluma kuhle kunoma ibuphi ubuhlobo kunoma ibuphi ubudala. Kodwa kubalulekile ukuhlanganisa imibhangqwana eneminyaka engu-50 ubudala kanye nokusondelana.
2. Zivocavoce umzimba
Izinguquko eziningi zomzimba umzimba wakho obhekana nazo kulesi sigaba sempilo, zingaxazululwa ngendlela efanele ngokuzivocavoca okuphakathi ukuya phezulu. Ukukhishwa kwama-endorphin kuzokusiza ukuthi ubukeke futhi uzizwe ungcono kakhulu, futhi kukhuphule ukuzethemba kwakho kanye nomdlandla wakho wocansi. Ngaphezu kwalokhu, ukufaka isithasiselo se-testosterone booster, njengaleso esisuka ku-Total Shape, kungase kuthuthukise nakakhulu imizamo yakho yokuzivocavoca, ukwandisa amazinga akho e-hormone, nokukhulisa amandla.
Zama ukugijima ekuseni izikhathi ezimbalwa ngeviki, noma hamba uyoshaywa umoya njalo kusihlwa. Ungase uzame i-yoga noma i-Pilates ukuze uzigcine unempilo. Kukhona umbhangqwana engiwaziyo (omunye oseminyakeni yakhe yama-50, omunye eminyakeni yawo-60), ohlela amaholide ezizungeze imigwaqo yezintaba ukuze aqinisekise ukuthi agcina isimiso sokufaneleka esivamile kuyilapho echitha isikhathi ndawonye. Qiniseka ukuthi uthintana nodokotela wakho ngaphambi kokuba wenze noma yikuphi ukuvivinya umzimba okunamandla.
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3. Hlola nodokotela bakho mayelana nemiphumela emibi yemithi yakho
Eminye yemithi evamile enqunywe ngemva kweminyaka engu-50 inemiphumela emibi kakhulu ku-libido yomuntu. Iba nengxoxo engagwegwesi nodokotela wakho ngaphambi kokuzibophezela ohlelweni lwezempilo lwesikhathi eside, noma ufune ezinye izindlela.
Khumbula, ayikho into ongaba namahloni ngayo lapha. Iminyaka yobudala, impilo kanye nemithi konke kuthinta intshisekelo yocansi – wukuqhubekela phambili kwezinto. Yiba phambili nodokotela wakho futhi ubuze ukuthi imithi yakho izoba nomthelela yini ku-libido yakho. Uma kunjalo, khuluma nomlingani wakho ngakho. Qinisekisa ukuthi bayazi ukuthi awubajiki, kodwa ukuthi umzimba wakho awukho kuwo okwamanje. Kungenzeka ukuthi, bazoba nezindaba ezifanayo abangabelana ngazo.
4. Shintsha izinto ekamelweni
Beka eceleni izithiyo zakho zocansi futhi uzihlole. Zama okuthile nomlingani wakho ongakaze ukwazi ukukwenza ngaphambili - kuzokwephula umthetho futhi kukhulise ukuzethemba kwakho kwezocansi.
Ungazama izindlela ezahlukene zocansi noma amathoyizi noma i-lubricant enongiwe. Uma wena noma umlingani wakho nithanda ukubhala izincwadi, ningazama nokufundelana izincwadi ezivusa inkanuko kanye nezinkondlo embhedeni. Siyayithanda incwadi kaJeanette Winterson ethi Written on the Body kanye nezinkondlo zika-Adrienne Rich no-Audrey Lorde, kodwa kuningi ongakhetha kukho ngokuthanda kwakho.
Ungase futhi uzitike ngezingubo zangaphansi ezikhazimulayo, utshale imali emakhandleleni anephunga elimnandi futhi usethe isimo sengqondo ngempela. Amagama athi 'izithandani ezineminyaka engu-50 ubudala' kanye 'nezothando' angase angasetshenziswa kakhulu emshweni ofanayo, kodwa uthando lumayelana nokugqashula imibono!
5. Hamba uye eholidini
Kukangaki abantu abashadile abaneminyaka engu-50 benza uthando? Nokho, sizokutshela lokhu: Izithandani zanoma iyiphi iminyaka zikuthola kunzima ukuba nesimo sengqondo lapho isimiso sansuku zonke sifika endleleni. Ukuthatha ikhefu endaweni evamile kuyindlela enhle yokuvuselela umlingo olahlekile embhedeni. Khetha indawo ephumuzayo, nizitike ngokunethezeka kwe-spa kanye nesikhathi esiyikhwalithi esichithwe nindawonye. Lokhu kuzosiza ukuvuselela umlingo.
Ngethemba, uzophinde uxhumeke ngokuqinile ngokwanele ukuthi uzoletha omunye umlingo ekhaya nawe. Gcina isikhathi sekhwalithi futhi uzomangala ukuthi ilangabi libusa kanjani.
6. Zenzeleni njengentsha
Imibhangqwana eneminyaka engu-50 ubudala nezothando akumele kube yizinto ezifanayo. Igebe elide elingenazo izenzo zocansi lingasabisa kunoma ubani. Kulula kakhulu ukuqala kancane kancane, njengoba nje wawukwenza lapho usemusha. Hambani ngezinsuku, nibambene ngezandla, yenzani futhi nibambane - umlilo uzokhuphuka kancane kodwa ngokuqinisekile.
Mangaza omunye nomunye ngezimbali, ubusuku bezinsuku kanye nokuthinta okuncane okucabangelayo. Umenzele ukudla kwasekuseni embhedeni ngaphandle kwesizathu, umthengele amabhokisi amnandi ukuze nje ahleke futhi aqhubeke nothando nohleko.
7. Bheka udokotela wocansi
Uma zonke lezi zindlela ziye zazanywa futhi zehluleka, ungangabazi ukuxhumana nochwepheshe ozokuqondisa kulesi sikhathi esinzima empilweni yakho. Futhi, akukho okubi ngokuzama ukuthola ukwelashwa kwabashadile nokuxoxa ngezinkinga zakho nochwepheshe. Uma uzibuza ukuthi yini indoda eneminyaka engu-50 ifuna embhedeni, noma yini owesifazane oneminyaka engu-50 ayifunayo embhedeni, thola usizo oludingayo ngaphandle kokungabaza.
Imibhangqwana eminingi eshadile iphinde izenzele embhedeni lapho ineminyaka engu-50. Iminyaka iyinombolo nje uma kuziwa ekwenzeni uthando. Sebenzisa ulwazi lwakho ukuze ube nempilo yocansi eyanelisayo nomlingani wakho. Ungakhathazeki ngokuthi abashadile kufanele benze kangaki uthando, wonke umbhangqwana uhlukile. Yiba nguwe, yiba nomusa komunye nomunye futhi ubonise uthando lwakho ngezindlela eziningi ngangokunokwenzeka.
Isixwayiso: Le sayithi iqukethe izixhumanisi zomkhiqizo ezihambisanayo. Singathola ikhomishini uma uthenga ngemva kokuchofoza kwenye yalezi zixhumanisi.
12 Izimpawu Ezicacile Ukuthi Uthathekile Futhi Awusothandweni
Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
