Luyini Uthando Ebudlelwaneni? 15 Izincazelo

Luyini uthando ebudlelwaneni? Kuwukuxhumana okujulile okungokomzwelo okwakhelwe phezu kokuhloniphana, ukwethembana, nokunakekelana. Konke kumayelana nemizwa enamandla yokuphepha nokuvikeleka nophathina wakho, wazi ukuthi bazoba khona lapho ubadinga kakhulu. Lokhu futhi kuwuphawu lokuthi usebudlelwaneni obunempilo.

Uthando futhi luwukuzibophezela ekusebenzeni kukho konke okuhle nokubi ndawonye. Futhi ukwazisa zonke izinto ezenza umlingani wakho ahluke futhi akhethekile, ukusungula isisekelo sobudlelwano obuqinile, ukudala izinkumbulo ezintsha ndawonye ngomuzwa wokuzidela kanye nenjabulo. Ukuze uqonde kangcono lo mzwelo futhi uhlole amaqiniso ngothando, ake sibhekisise ukuthi uthando lusho ukuthini ebuhlotsheni.

Luyini Uthando Ebudlelwaneni? 15 Izincazelo

Uthando luwumuzwa onezinhlangothi eziningi futhi oyinkimbinkimbi okungaba nzima ukuwuchaza. Ludlulela ngalé kokusondelana ngokomzimba noma isifiso socansi. Ingabe uthando luwumuzwa oza ngokuzenzakalelayo? Yebo, kungenzeka ngobusuku obubodwa kodwa ludinga isikhathi ukuze lukhule luqine. Ngokuvamile, abantu abaqondi kahle uthando kodwa kunomehluko omkhulu phakathi kwalokhu okubili. Ngokusho kwesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo kanye nochwepheshe wezocansi oqinisekisiwe yi-AASECT uLauren Fogel Mersy , “Uthando luvame ukusekelwe kakhulu ekukhangeni ngokomzimba kanye nephupho elicatshangelwe mayelana nokuthi ungubani lo muntu.”

Ngokuphambene nalokho, uZick Rubin , isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, uthi uthando lothando lwakhiwe yizinto ezintathu - ukunamathelana, ukunakekelwa, kanye nokusondelana. Nakuba incazelo yothando ebudlelwaneni ihlukile kuwo wonke umuntu, izinto ezithile ezivamile zingasisiza siqonde ukuthi luyini uthando ebudlelwaneni. Nazi izincazelo eziyi-10 zokufingqa lokho okushiwo uthando ebudlelwaneni:

1. Uthando luwukuxhumana okungokomzwelo

Empeleni, uthando lumayelana nesibopho esikhula phakathi kwabantu ababili abanobudlelwano obujulile ngokomzwelo . Ubudlelwano bothando, obusekelwe esisekelweni sokunakekelana, ukwethembana, kanye nenhlonipho, buvumela bobabili abalingani ukuthi bazizwe bephephile futhi besekelwa ebuhlotsheni babo. Nazi izibonelo zokuthi ubuhlobo obungokomzwelo kufanele bube njani ebudlelwaneni:

• Ukuvulelana izifuba nokwabelana ngemicabango, imizwa, ukwesaba, namaphupho
• Ukuthinta umzimba okufana nokubamba izandla, ukugona, nokugona kuyingxenye ebalulekile yokuxhumana ngokomzwelo
• Ukuba khona kozakwenu uma ekudinga, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukugubha impumelelo yakhe noma ukunikeza induduzo ngezikhathi ezinzima

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2. Ukuzidela: Elinye igama elisho uthando

Luyini uthando ebudlelwaneni? Ukuzimisela ukubeka phambili izidingo nenjabulo yomlingani wakho. Kuwukucabangela izidingo, injabulo, kanye nezintshisekelo zomlingani wakho ngisho noma zingqubuzana nezakho. Lokhu kungabi nabugovu kuyingxenye ebalulekile yokwakha ubudlelwano obuqinile nobunempilo. Ukungazinaki othandweni kungaba lula njengokuthi;

• Ukuphuma kokunethezeka kombhede wakho ukuze ubenzele isidlo sasekuseni
• Uzimisele ukubathethelela lapho uphatheke kabi
• Ukuxazulula ukungavumeli izinkinga zibe zinkulu kunobudlelwano bakho

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3. Uthando luya luqina ndawonye

Uthando luwumthombo wamandla nokusekelwa ngezikhathi ezinzima kanye nomthombo wokugubha nenjabulo ngezikhathi ezimnandi. Ukuba sothandweni akukhona nje ngezikhathi ezimnandi; kumayelana nokuba khona komunye nomunye ngezikhathi ezinzima. Lokhu kusekelwa kobudlelwano namandla kungasiza imibhangqwana ukuba ibhekane nezivunguvungu zempilo futhi iphume iqine futhi ixhumene kakhudlwana. Nansi indlela ongabhekana ngayo nobunzima ebudlelwaneni bakho:

• Ubudlelwano budinga ukulalela ngenkuthalo, ukukhuluma ngokwethembeka nangenhlonipho, futhi uveze imicabango nemizwa yakho ngendlela eyakhayo.
• Uthando ludinga ukuvumelana; ukuthola indawo ephakathi ngokuvamile kungakusiza ukuba uxazulule ukungezwani kwakho

4. Ingqikithi yothando ilele ekwamukelweni okungenamibandela

Ekhuluma ngencazelo yothando ebudlelwaneni, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uNandita Rambhia (MSc, Psychology) useke wabelana ngaso neBonobology, “Uthando luwukuba lapho izici zomlingani wakho namaphutha akhe zingakukhathazi, empeleni, lezo yizinto ofunda ukuzithanda ngazo.” Ngakho-ke, lokho okushiwo uthando ebudlelwaneni kungachazwa njengomzwelo wenjabulo nokwaneliseka okuvela ekubeni nomuntu okuqondayo, okubonayo ukuthi ungubani ngempela, futhi okwamukelayo, amaphutha nakho konke.

Lokhu kwamukelwa kudala umuzwa wokwaneliseka okungaba nzima ukukuthola kwezinye izici zempilo, okuyikhona okwenza ubudlelwano bothando bube obusondelene kakhulu futhi buqine kakhulu. Ukwemukelwa ebudlelwaneni;

• Ukulalela umlingani wakho ngaphandle kokugxeka noma ukwahlulela lapho ehlanganyela nawe imicabango nemizwa yakhe
• Ukwamukela okungenamibandela ebudlelwaneni bothando kusho nokuhlonipha ukungezwani kwakho, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kusebuntwini, izinkolelo, noma izithakazelo

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5. Uthando luthatha umsebenzi

Ingabe uthando luwumuzwa noma ukukhetha? U-Eric Fromm, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo saseJalimane, uthi, “Uthando aluyona into yemvelo. Kunalokho ludinga ukuzithiba, ukugxila, ukubekezela, ukholo, kanye nokunqoba ukuzikhukhumeza. Akuyona imizwa, kuwumkhuba.” Ukuthandana kungaba inqubo engenziwa ngokungazikhetheli kodwa ukuze nilondoloze ubuhlobo obuzinikele , nobabili kudingeka nisebenzisane ukwakha impilo nekusasa.

Lokhu kuzibophezela kudinga ukuvumelana, ukuxhumana, nokuzimisela ukubhekana nezinselele ndawonye. Okuhlukanisa imibhangqwana ezibophezelekile ukuzimisela kwayo ukuxhumana ngokukhululekile nokuthola izixazululo ezisebenzela bobabili abalingani, kunokuvumela izinkinga zibahlukanise. Ukuzibophezela ebudlelwaneni kusho;

• Ngokuvamile ukuzibophezela kudinga ukuzidela ngenxa yobuhlobo. Lokhu kungasho ukuyekethisa ezinhlosweni zomuntu siqu, ukulungisa izinto eziza kuqala, noma ukwenza ezinye izinguquko ukuze usekele kangcono ubuhlobo
• Ukugcina imigudu yokuxhumana ivulekile, ngisho nangezikhathi ezinzima kusiza bobabili abalingani bakhule futhi baqondane

6 Ukuba yindawo yabo yokulondeka kuwuthando

Luyini uthando ebudlelwaneni? Kuwumqondo wokuphepha nokuvikeleka okuvela ekwazini ukuthi omunye uzakwethu angathembela komunye ngezikhathi zesidingo. Lo muzwa wokulondeka uvumela imibhangqwana ukuba ibe sengozini komunye nomunye futhi yakhe ukuxhumana okujulile ngokomzwelo. Nansi indlela ongaba ngayo indawo yabo ephephile nejabulisayo:

• Ukunikeza indawo ephephile ukuze umlingani wakho aveze imizwa yakhe, nokunikeza induduzo nesiqiniseko lapho ekudinga indlela ongaba ngayo indawo yakhe ephephile.
• Ukwazi ukuthi yini ongayilindela kumlingani wakho, nokuba nomuzwa wokuzinza nokungaguquguquki ebudlelwaneni
• Umuzwa wokuvikeleka yilapho futhi umlingani wakho azi ukuthi uthembekile futhi angabelana nawe nganoma yini ayifunayo
• Ngezinye izikhathi, ukunikeza omunye komunye isikhala ebudlelwaneni sibalulekile kakhulu

7. Yilapho unqoba izithiyo zobudlelwano

Ezigabeni zokuqala zothando lwezothando, konke kuba uthingo nezimvemvane. Kodwa luyini uthando ebudlelwaneni ngemuva kokuphela kwesigaba se-honeymoon? Kuyintando kanye nesinqumo sokuthi ungavumeli izithiyo ezilethwa impilo yakho zibe nomphumela ebhondini yakho. Izithiyo ebudlelwaneni zinganqotshwa uma:

• Zinike isikhathi sokukhuluma ngezinto ezikukhathazayo futhi ulalele ngentshiseko umbono womlingani wakho. Kuyinto kakhulu kubalulekile ukuba isilaleli esihle
• Buza imibuzo, yiba nomqondo ovulekile, futhi uthole izindlela zokufaka kokubili imibono nemicabango yakho ebudlelwaneni bakho.

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8. Ukuhlola umhlaba ndawonye

Ingabe uthando luwumzwelo okhula kalula ngokuhamba kwesikhathi? Cha! Ukuba sothandweni kuletha umuzwa wokuzijabulisa kanye nesasasa elivela ekuhloleni umhlaba ndawonye nokudala izinkumbulo ezintsha. Lo muzwa wokuzidela nenjabulo ungasiza ekugcineni ubudlelwano busha futhi ozakwethu bahlale bexhumene omunye nomunye. Okulandelayo yizinto ezijabulisayo nezijabulisayo ongazenza nophathina wakho ukuze unonge ubudlelwano benu;

• Thathani ikilasi noma nizame umsebenzi omusha ndawonye, ​​njengezifundo zokudansa, amakilasi okupheka, noma ukugibela amadwala
• Ukuhamba ngezinyawo noma uhambo lokukhempa kungaba yindlela enhle yokuxhumana nemvelo kanye nomunye nomunye. Ningaziphonsela inselelo, nijabulele indawo enhle, futhi nibe nesibopho phezu kokuhlangenwe nakho
• Akudingeki ukuba uhambe ibanga elide ukuze ube ne-adventure. Ukuhlola idolobha lakho kungaba mnandi ngendlela efanayo. Zama indawo yokudlela entsha, vakashela imnyuziyamu, noma thatha uhambo lokuhamba ngezinyawo endaweni ongakaze uye kuyo ngaphambilini

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9. Uma umazisa umlingani wakho

Uzibuza ukuthi uthando lusho ukuthini ebudlelwaneni? Lubonakala njengokwazisa okujulile ngazo zonke izinto ezincane ezenza umlingani wakho abe ngohlukile futhi akhetheke, kusukela emikhubeni yakhe engavamile kuya embonweni wakhe oyingqayizivele emhlabeni. Uthando alugcini nje ngokuchitha isikhathi esihle ndawonye noma ukuya emicimbini yokuqomisana, kodwa futhi lunikeza umlingani wakho ukunaka kwakho okuphelele nokumenza azizwe ukuthi uyamhlonipha futhi umhlonipha kangakanani. Nakhu ongakwenza ukuze ubonise ukwazisa kwakho kumlingani wakho,

• Yazisa umlingani wakho ukuthi uyaziqaphela futhi uyazazisa izinto azenza kahle
• Ncoma ikhono labo lokupheka, ukuhleka kwabo, ukuziphatha kwabo emsebenzini, nanoma iyiphi enye imfanelo enhle oyithandayo.
• Izenzo zikhuluma kakhulu kunamazwi, ukuze ubonise ukwazisa kwakho ngokwenza izinto kumlingani wakho. Lokhu kungaba yinto elula njengokubenzela isidlo sasekuseni embhedeni noma ukuwasha izingubo zabo

10. Uthando luyinjabulo yokuba ndawonye

Luyini uthando ebudlelwaneni? Umuzwa wokwaneliseka ovela ekwazini ukuthi usuthole umngane wakho womphefumulo nokuthi nihloselwe ukuba ndawonye. Luwuthando lapho ulimi lomzimba wakho lushintsha eduze komlingani wakho, lapho uthola injabulo yokwenza umlingani wakho ajabule, lapho nithanda ukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye, ​​​​futhi lapho nikhathalela imizwa nenhlalakahle yomunye nomunye. Lolu uhlobo lwezilimi zothando olungaletha umuzwa ojulile wokuthula kubantu;

• Ukweseka umlingani wakho ezinhlosweni zakhe, amaphupho, kanye nemizamo kungamenza azizwe ephelele futhi anelisekile ebudlelwaneni
• Uma wena nophathina wakho nibelana ngezimiso nezinkolelo, kungakha umuzwa wokuphelela nokwaneliseka. Uzizwa sengathi usekhasini elifanayo futhi usebenzela ukufeza imigomo efanayo
• Ukuchitha isikhathi esiyikhwalithi ndawonye nokwenza izinto enizijabulelayo nobabili kungakwenza uzizwe uphelele futhi wanelisekile ebudlelwaneni. Lokhu kungaba yinoma yini kusukela ekubukeni ifilimu kuya ekuqwaleni izintaba, inqobo nje uma kuyinto enijabulela ukuyenza nobabili

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11. Uthando lumayelana nokuba sengozini

Luyini uthando lweqiniso ebudlelwaneni? Ukuba nokuxhumana okuvulekile nokwethembeka. Akusho ukwabelana nje ngokuhle, kodwa nokwesaba kwakho, ukukhathazeka, nokungazethembi ngaphandle kokwahlulela. Uma nakhe indawo lapho nobabili ningaba ubuqiniso benu, nazi ukuthi noma yini enabelana ngayo iyotholwa ngokuqonda nangokubekezela, ingenye yezimpawu zothando. Lokhu kungafika ngendlela yokuthi:

• Ukusondelana - kokubili ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo
• Ukwenza umlingani wakho azizwe amukelekile lapho esengozini
• Ukuba nezingxoxo ezijulile ngomuzwa wakho

12. Uthando ludinga isineke nentethelelo

Ingabe uthando luwumuzwa noma ukukhetha? Lo mbuzo ungase uphakame lapho ubhekene nokungqubuzana, okujwayelekile futhi okuyingxenye yobudlelwano obunempilo. Ezikhathini ezinjalo, uthando lumayelana nokubekezela nokukhetha ukuthethelela amaphutha omunye nomunye. Akukona ukubamba amagqubu kodwa ukunikeza umusa nokuqonda lapho omunye wenu entenga. Lolu hlobo lwesineke ludala umuzwa wokuphepha nokuthula ebudlelwaneni.

Uma usothandweni, wena nomlingani wakho niseqenjini elilodwa. Ngakho-ke, lapho ubhekene nenkinga, akuwena uqhudelana nozakwenu. Nimelene nobabili nenkinga. Uma nobabili nithatha le ndlela, ukusuka ezingxabanweni kuba lula.

13. Sekela ezikhathini ezinzima

Umlingani onothando uyinsika yokusekela lapho izikhathi ziba nzima. Esinye sezibonakaliso zothando ukuma eceleni komlingani wakho phakathi nezinselele nokuba ngumuntu wokuqala oncike kuye. Amandla othando abonakala kakhulu uma ehlala eqinile phakathi nobunzima bempilo. Lokhu kusekela kungabukeka kanje:

• Ukwenzela isikhala ukuze ukhiphe umoya lapho uzizwa udangele
• Ukuthatha ezinye zezibopho zakho lapho uzizwa ucindezelekile
• Ukunikeza amazwi okuqinisekisa ukuze uhlale ukhuthazekile

14. Uthando luhlanganisa ukwazisa nokubonga

Elinye lamaqiniso engiwakhonzile ngothando ukuthi lufinyelela umvuthwandaba wokwazisa nokubonga. Kumayelana nokuvuma izinto ezincane ezenziwa umlingani wakho, okumkhuthaza ukuba enze imizamo eyengeziwe. Ingafika ngendlela yokuthi:

• Ngiyabonga ngomlomo 
• Amanothi othando abhaliwe noma izincwadi
• Isenzo sesevisi sokubenza bazizwe bekhethekile

15. Ukwabelana ngamaphupho nezinjongo

Ubudlelwano buyachuma lapho ozakwethu babelana ngamaphupho afanayo, izinjongo, kanye nemibono yesikhathi esizayo futhi bekhuthazana ukuthi bayifeze. Kungabukeka kanjena:

• Ukuhlela ndawonye
• Ukweseka izifiso zomunye nomunye
• Ukusebenza njengeqembu ukwakha impilo eniyifisa nobabili

Uma uthando luhlanganisa izifiso ezihlanganyelwe, ludala umuzwa onamandla wobunye nokubambisana.

Ucwaningo olusekelwe kahle lubonisa ukuthi ubuchopho busebenza ngendlela ehlukile uma umuntu ethandana. Olunye ucwaningo olunjalo luthi, “Umsebenzi wobuchopho wabantu abathandanayo uqhathaniswe ngenkathi kubukwa isithombe somlingani wabo, abangane, kanye nelungu lomndeni lobudala obufanayo kusetshenziswa i-functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) futhi kwaphetha ngokuthi kukhona inethiwekhi ekhethekile yobuchopho ehilelekile othandweni.”

Abantu abahlukene bachaza uthando ngezindlela ezahlukene njengalo msebenzisi weQuora othi uthando luyilapho ukumamatheka komuntu kungancibilikisa inhliziyo yakho futhi injabulo yakhe ibaluleke kakhulu kuwe. Kodwa-ke, ayikho incazelo yothando eqinile futhi ungazinqumela ngokukhululeka ukuthi luyini uthando kuwe. Uma lukunika izimvemvane esiswini sakho, luwuthando, futhi ngendlela efanayo, uma lukunikeza umuzwa wokwaneliseka, luwuthando futhi.

Imicabango Final

Uthando luwumzwelo oyinkimbinkimbi odlala indima ebalulekile ebuhlotsheni bothando. Kuyinhlanganisela eyinkimbinkimbi yezici ezingokomzwelo, ezingokomzimba, nezingokwengqondo ezakha isibopho esijulile phakathi kwabantu ababili. Ekugcineni, uthando lusho ukuzwa umuzwa ojulile wokuxhumana, ukwaneliseka, nokwaneliseka phambi komlingani wakho. Kusho ukusekelana, ukwazisana, nokusebenzisana ukuze kwakhiwe ubuhlobo obuqinile nobuhlala njalo. Nakuba kungase kungabi lula ngaso sonke isikhathi, uthando luwufanele umzamo futhi lungaba okunye okuhlangenwe nakho okuzuzisa kakhulu ekuphileni.

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