Ngemuva kwesikhathi esithile sokuhlangana, kuya ngokuya kuvame ukuthi ubudlelwano bube nesicefe. Kungenzeka ukuthi ubonile kumamuvi ukuthi njengesithombe sakamuva seminyaka eyisikhombisa yokulunywa noma ukuvinjelwa kwezimanga zomlingani wakho - ubudlelwano bothando obuningi buvame ukubhora.
U-Maria, osebenza njengomsizi wezokuthengisa we-MNC, uvame ukukhononda ngokuthi ubudlelwano bakhe obunempilo buzizwa buyayisicefe nokuthi ulwela ukuvimbela isithukuthezi ebudlelwaneni bakhe. Kuyinsakavukela umchilo wesidwaba emantombazaneni ukuthi izingxoxo zawo namasoka ziphenduka into engekho njengoba ezibuza ukuthi angasilungisa kanjani isicefe ebudlelwaneni. Kodwa ungakhathazeki! Kubalulekile, okokuqala, ukuqonda ukuthi kuyinto evamile ngokuphelele.
Ubudlelwano buhloselwe ukuletha injabulo empilweni yakho. Uma ukuntuleka kwesasasa kungena, kufanele kubhekwane nakho kusenesikhathi. Kodwa ngaphambi kokuba uthathe ikhambi lokuthile, kubalulekile ukusiqonda kahle lesi sifo. Ukuba nesithukuthezi ebudlelwaneni kusho ukuthi awuzizwa unomdlandla wokuxoxa isikhathi eside. Kungase kube nezimo lapho uze uzisole ngokuzibophezela. Ziningi izinto ezingabangela isithukuthezi ebudlelwaneni kodwa, ziningi izindlela zokukugwema futhi.
Yiziphi Izimpawu Zobudlelwano Obubhorayo?
Okuqukethwe
Kwamthatha uSuzanne ngaphezu kwezinyanga eziyisithupha ukubona ukuthi kukhona “okungalungile” ebudlelwaneni bakhe. Waqale wakushaya indiva ukungamnaki kwesoka lakhe njengento nje eyenzeka kuyena. Kamuva, waqaphela ukuthi kwakuwumkhuba wabo omusha lapho etshela abangane bakhe, “Izingxoxo nesoka lami ziyabhora.” Manje usevame ukubuza abangani bakhe, “Ingabe isithukuthezi sijwayelekile ebudlelwaneni?”
Izinto azihlali zijabulisa njengoba zazinjalo nisaqala ukuthandana. Ubusuku bokuphuma maduze buzophenduka ubusuku obuhlezi phambi kwe-TV, budla ukudla kwaseShayina ngaphandle kokunakekelwa emhlabeni. Nakuba kwabanye kungase kube yisicefe ngokwedlulele, kwabanye, yikho konke abakudingayo. Uma uzama ukulungisa ubudlelwano obuyisicefe, kufanele uqale uqonde ukuthi izincazelo zakho nezakwakho zokudinwa ziyahambisana yini.
Ngakho-ke ngaphambi kokuthi uqale ukuzihlupha ngokuthi 'isoka lami lingidina ngenzenjani', mbuze ukuthi empeleni likudina yini. Kwazi bani, mhlawumbe ukuchitha ubusuku ehleli nawe kuwumbono wakhe wokuzijabulisa. Zonke izinsuku akudingeki zibe i-extravaganza egcwele ubumnandi.
Uma sekushiwo, isimo sobudlelwane obuyisicefe sanele ukukwenza uzizwe sengathi manje ungomunye walabo abashadikazi abaneminyaka engu-80 umbono wabo wothando ukhipha amazinyo abo ndawonye ngaphambi kwesidlo sakusihlwa. Uma unesithukuthezi ebuhlotsheni ngemva kweminyaka emi-2, ungakwazi nakanjani ukukhulisa igeyimu yakho kancane.
Ngakho-ke, uma ubudlelwano buhluleka ukukunikeza i-adrenaline rush, kubalulekile ukubona izimpawu zokuqala zobudlelwano obunesithukuthezi. Isibonelo, uma unesithukuthezi ngokungazi owesifazane wakho , kufanele ukwazi ngezibonakaliso. Ezinye zezimpawu ezivamile zobudlelwano obunesithukuthezi okufanele uziqaphele yilezi:
- Ukuhlala late emsebenzini: Olunye lwezimpawu zobudlelwano obuyisicefe ukuthi uvame ukuhlala isikhathi eside kakhulu emsebenzini ngenxa yokuthi awunawo ugqozi olukhulu lokubuyela ekhaya. Kungani uzizwa unesizungu ebudlelwaneni bakho?
- Adle yedwa: Olunye uphawu lwesithukuthezi ebudlelwaneni ukuthi udla ukudla kwakho konke ngenkathi wehlisa imiyalezo yocingo ngaphandle kokuxoxa nophathina wakho.
- Ayikho inkulumo encane: Ngaphandle kwalokhu, uma uqala ukubuza imibuzo ephindaphindayo njengokuthi 'belunjani usuku lwakho?' nokuthi 'unjani?' emzamweni wokuqalisa ingxoxo futhi kuhlangatshezwana nezimpendulo ze-monosyllabic njengokuthi 'okufanayo' nokuthi 'kuhle' - kungase futhi kube inkomba yokuthi ubudlelwano bakho buyabhora
- Ohamba yedwa: Manje usubheke ngabomvu amaholide ngaphandle kozakwenu. Kusho ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokulungisa isithukuthezi ebudlelwaneni
- Ukuhamba okumbalwa: Olunye uphawu olukhombisa ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho buyabhora ukuthi ungathanda ukubukela i-TV esikhundleni sokuzikhipha nesithandwa sakho
- Anihleki ndawonye: Olunye lwezimpawu ezinkulu zomuntu oyisicefe/ubudlelwane yilapho ungakhumbuli lapho nabelana ngokuhleka kwangempela ndawonye. Uma konke okhuluma ngakho kuyisimo sezulu, awekho amahlaya amaningi kakhulu aqanjwa ku-dynamic yakho! Emenza amahloni/ukuhleka kungenye yezindlela ezingcono kakhulu zokubuyisa injabulo.
- Awujabuli nozakwenu: Sekukonke, uma ungazijabuleli nomlingani wakho futhi njalo udinga ukuguqula izinsuku zakho zibe izinsuku ezimbili nomunye umbhangqwana, kungenye yezimpawu ezinkulu zokuthi unesimo sobudlelwano esiyisicefe. Lapho uzizwa unesithukuthezi ebuhlotsheni bakho kuze kube yilapho ungathanda kakhulu ukuphuma ngosuku oluphindwe kabili kunokuba nje nomlingani wakho, uyazi ukuthi udinga ukunyakazisa izinto.
Lezi zimpawu zikhomba ukuthi ubudlelwano benu bubhekene nesikhathi esinzima futhi ngaphambi kokuthi kwephuze kakhulu, kumele wenze imizamo ehlangene yokuvikela isithukuthezi ebudlelwaneni. Ngakho-ke, wenza kanjani ubudlelwano bungabi nesithukuthezi? Izimpendulo ziyahluka ebuhlotsheni nobudlelwano, kodwa ukukusiza ukuthi uqalise, sibale izindlela eziyi-11 zokulungisa ubudlelwano obuyisicefe.
Isithukuthezi Ebudlelwaneni: Izindlela Eziyi-11 Zokungakuvumeli Kwenzeke
Njengo-Suzanne, uma nawe ubhekene nesigaba sokuzinyeza, kufanele ubhekane nesithukuthezi ebudlelwaneni bakho esikhundleni sokuziduduza ngomgomo— 'bonke ubudlelwano buyabhora'. Lapha sibala izindlela ezimbalwa zokubulala isithukuthezi ebudlelwaneni ukuze ukwazi ukusiqeda ngentshiseko nangentshiseko:
1. Ukuhlanganyela injabulo nomunye nomunye
Kulula ukujabulela ubuhlobo uma wabelana ngenjabulo nomlingani wakho. Ngaphandle kokwabelana ngenjabulo, ubuhlobo abukwazi ukuhlala isikhathi eside. Kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi ngaphandle kokusondelana ngokomzimba, kunezinhlobo eziningana zokusondelana owabelana ngazo nomlingani wakho ezingakusiza ujabule naye.
Njalo lapho kwenzeka okuthile okuhle komunye wenu, ingxenye engcono kakhulu ukuthi ungakwazi ukwabelana ngenjabulo nophathina wakho. Uma uzizwa unesizungu ebudlelwaneni bakho, zibuze ukuthi ngabe ukhuluma ngokwanele yini nomlingani wakho. Injabulo ingafinyelelwa kuphela uma uzivumela ukuba uyizwe!
2. Lungiselelani ukudla ndawonye
Ukushintshanisa izinto ezimnandi kungase kube kuhle ngezinye izikhathi, kodwa mhlawumbe kungabi njalo. Yini umuntu angayenza esikhundleni salokho ukudala amasiko ansuku zonke afana nokulungiselela ukudla ndawonye ukuze nihlangane futhi nichithe isikhathi esiseqophelweni ndawonye. Ngokwesibonelo, u-Radhika no-Ajay, abaphathi bezinkampani abaphezulu abaseminyakeni yabo-30, bayaqiniseka ukuthi bayapheka futhi badle okungenani ukudla okukodwa ngosuku ndawonye. Lokhu kubanika ithuba lokuchitha isikhathi nokuqondana kahle ngenkathi benza isenzo sokudala esikhundleni sokubambana nje ngezandla.
Ngakho-ke uma uzibuza ukuthi "umfana wami unesizungu ngami ngenzenjani?" khipha u-anyanisi utshele isoka lakho ukuthi liqobe. Maduze nje uzobe ekhala izinyembezi zenjabulo ngoba nje ekujabulela ukuchitha isikhathi nawe. U-anyanisi awuhlangene nezinyembezi, kunjalo.
3. Ukubuka izinhlelo zakho ozithandayo ndawonye
Kubalulekile ukuchitha isikhathi esiseqophelweni eliphezulu ndawonye uma wazi ukuthi ubudlelwano benu obunempilo buzizwa buyabhora. Futhi akudingekile njalo ukuthi kuhilele izinhlelo eziwubukhazikhazi. Okuthile okulula njengokugona ndawonye kusofa nokubuka imuvi ethokozisayo noma umbukiso ndawonye kungenza ubuqili.
Lapho u-Isabel ebona ukuthi ubuhlobo bakhe nomlingani wakhe uRon buyahlukana ngaphandle kwesizathu esithile, wasikisela kuye ukuthi babukele okungenani umdlalo owodwa wothando njalo ngempelasonto ukuze baqinise uthando ezinhliziyweni zabo. Wavuma, futhi manje uthi, “Ngibheke phambili ezikhathini zethu zothando zangeSonto kusihlwa.”
4. Yenzela umlingani wakho isipho
Ukuthenga isixha sezimbali noma ingubo kungase kungazwakali kumlingani wakho njengokulungiselela isipho kusukela ekuqaleni. Uma usebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside, ungahlola izinketho eziningana zokupha , wengeze ubuciko bakho futhi unikeze umoya omusha ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Uma unesithukuthezi socansi ebudlelwaneni, kungani ungenzi okuthile kusuka ekuqaleni kuya ku-spice izinto ekamelweni? Ithoyizi locansi le-DIY mhlawumbe? Noma wenza i-jazz up i-lingerie yakho endala ukuze uvuselele uthando. Ukushisa izinto ekamelweni ngokuvamile kuyindlela enhle yokulungisa ubuhlobo obuyisicefe.
5. Hlobisa igumbi ndawonye
Uma wenza okuthile okwakhayo endaweni yakho ngokuhlanganyela njengendlu noma imoto yakho, kunomuzwa wenjongo ehlanganyelwe engakusiza nixhumane. Akusho ngempela ukuthi kufanele uchithe imali eshisiwe ukulungisa indlu noma ukuthenga ifenisha ebizayo. Kwesinye isikhathi, ukusebenzisana nje nozakwenu ukwenza udonga kungakha izinkumbulo ezinhle ongazazisa.
Uma ninesithukuthezi ebudlelwaneni ngemva kweminyaka emibili, zama ukuhlobisa igumbi ndawonye. Akukho okushiwo uthando njengomsebenzi wezandla. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kuzokusiza ubone ukuthi isoka lakho linekhono kangakanani. Ngesikhathi usesemsebenzini, faka upende ehembeni lalo. Kuzokwenzeka noma kunjalo, kungase kukuhlekise! Izinto ongazenza nesoka lakho ekhaya azisicefe njengoba ubucabanga.
6. Hamba kumamuvi
Ukubuka ifilimu ebhayisikobho kunezinzuzo zako. Uma uhlela usuku, uhlela izinto eziningana ezifana nalezo eziphathelene nokupaka izimoto, ukudla kwasemini, ukudla okulula, ozokugqoka, njll. Futhi ekupheleni kwakho, uvame ukuzizwa ujabule ngokuhlanganisa ubusuku obuhle. Ngisho noma nobabili ningawathandi amamuvi afanayo, kungaba mnandi ukuhlola uhlobo lomlingani wakho afunga ngalo.
Uma omunye wenu ethanda amamuvi e-Indie, kodwa omunye encamela amamuvi esenzo esiwudoti, mhlawumbe nobabili nizothanda uhlobo olusha eningakaze niluthande ngaphambilini. Noma mhlawumbe ningashintshana ngokukhetha amafilimu ofuna ukuwabuka. Impendulo yokuthi ubenza kanjani ubuhlobo bungabi nesithukuthezi ngezinye izikhathi kudinga ukuzidela okuncane. Izithombe ezinhle zesinema ezinde zango-1917 zingalinda, kufanele uqale ubukele u-Vin Diesel endizela imoto emkhathini!
7. Ngibheke phambili eholidini
Ukuze ugweme isithukuthezi ebudlelwaneni, ningahlela iholide ndawonye. Kubalulekile ukuya eholidini nomlingani wakho njengoba kubalulekile nokulihlela. Uma uhlela iholide, unikeza umlingani wakho nawe ithemba lokuchitha isikhathi esihle nomunye nomunye, amasonto ambalwa kamuva. Futhi lapho lelo 'themba' ligcwaliseka, isibopho senu siyaqina. Amaholide kufanele ahluke kakhulu - kusukela ezintabeni kuya olwandle kanye nasezikhumbuzweni zefa kuya emigwaqweni emikhulu.
8. Ukubeka imigomo ethokozisayo yababhangqwana
Eminye imigomo yezithandani kuhloswe ukuthi ibekwe minyaka yonke ukugwema isithukuthezi ebudlelwaneni. Lokhu kukhuthaza imibhangqwana ukuthi ibheke phambili ekwenzeni okuthile okuhle nokujabulisayo ndawonye njengokuchitha ubusuku bemvula ndawonye lapho ushayela noma ukushayela endaweni yokudlela edumile eqhele ngamamayela angu-300 ngempelasonto ukuze uthole isidlo sasemini esimnandi ntambama libalele ebusika.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukuhamba Kwababili: Amathiphu Okuhlela Uhambo Lwemibhangqwana Engavamile
9. Ukuhamba ngamaqembu
Kwesinye isikhathi ukuphuma kweqembu nabanye abangani bakho abashadile noma umndeni owandisiwe kwengeza ku-quotient yokuzijabulisa edingeka kakhulu empilweni yakho. Ukuba nozakwenu kuyinto eyodwa kodwa ukuba naye kanye neqembu labangane bakho kuhlola izinga lakho lokunethezeka phakathi kokubenyezela kwabo okuxakile. Lokhu kuhamba ibanga elide ekuqiniseni ukuzibophezela kwakho kumlingani wakho. Ukuvimbela isithukuthezi ebudlelwaneni kuza njengebhonasi.
10. Joyina ikilasi lokuzilibazisa ndawonye
Uma uthanda ukudlala ithenisi noma uthanda ukubhukuda, kungumqondo omuhle ukubhalisela amakilasi ndawonye. U-Ashish noNeha, umbhangqwana osemusha, bajoyine amakilasi ase-Urdu angempelasonto abavumela ukuthi bangagcini nje ngokuchitha isikhathi ndawonye kodwa futhi nokubasiza bafunde ulimi olusha.
Ukujoyina ikilasi lokuzilibazisa kuzonivumela ukuthi nazise ulwazi lomunye nomunye kulowo mkhakha. Khumbula ukuthi akubalulekile ukuzibandakanya kulowo msebenzi njengokuwenza ndawonye.
11. Hlekani ndawonye
Ukuhleka ndawonye kungenye yezinto ezijabulisa kakhulu. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukwabelana ngezikhathi zokuhleka kanye nenhliziyo elula ne-SO yakho ukuze unqande isithukuthezi ebudlelwaneni. Lapho nihlanganyela injabulo, nivame ukwazisa amahlaya omunye nomunye. Lokhu kuqinisa isibopho sakho, kuphonsa isithukuthezi ngefasitela lakho lokulala.
Nakuba kuyiqiniso ukuthi isithukuthezi ebudlelwaneni siyinto evamile, akuwona wonke umbhangqwana ohamba ibanga elide ukuze uqede isithukuthezi. Abanye bakwamukela njenge-fait accompli, kuyilapho abanye bethola izaba "zokuqhubeka" empilweni. Kodwa uma uzibophezele ngempela ezithembisweni ozenzile ekuqaleni kwalolu hambo lwezothando, kufanele uthole izindlela zokuma kulezo zithembiso ukuze nihambe ndawonye futhi nihambe ibanga elide ngangokunokwenzeka - futhi nikwenze lokho nisaqhubeka nithola injabulo phakathi kwenu.
Indlela isoka lami lokufaneleka lingitholele ngayo isoka lami elisha
Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
