Ukubaluleka kocansi ebudlelwaneni kungalinganiswa ngokuthi ubudlelwano obuhle buvame ukuhlotshaniswa nocansi. Kucatshangwa ukuthi imibhangqwana ejabule inempilo ephumelelayo yocansi, kuyilapho labo abanamathele ebudlelwaneni obunzima abanalo.
Kodwa-ke, uma kubhekwa inhlobonhlobo yobudlelwano bezothando namuhla, kungase kube nokulinganisa konke ukubaluleka kocansi ebudlelwaneni. Isibonelo, incazelo nokubaluleka kocansi kungaba emibhangqwaneni yongqingili kungase kwehluke kakhulu kozakwabo abathandana nabobulili obuhlukile.
Bese kuba khona imibhangqwana engabantu abathandana nobulili obufanayo kanye nalabo abakhetha ukugcina ubudlelwano babo bungenabo ubulili. Ngakho-ke, impendulo yokuthi kubaluleke kangakanani ubulili ebudlelwaneni obuphumelelayo iyahlukahluka kuye ngezimo nokukhetha ukuphila kwabantu abahilelekile.
Nokho, emibhangqwaneni ekhetha ucansi ukuba yingxenye yobudlelwano bayo, luba ngenye yezimiso eziyinhloko zobudlelwano bayo bothando. Ake singene esihlokweni, kanye nemibono yochwepheshe evela kudokotela wezifo zengqondo uDkt. Aman Bhonsle (Ph.D., MBA, PGDTA), kanye nodokotela wezocansi uDkt. Rajan Bhonsle (MD), ababili ababa ngubaba nendodana ababhala ndawonye incwadi ethi “What The FUQ? – Frequently Unswered Questions About Sex” phakathi kwamanye amaphrojekthi abo omuntu siqu emisebenzini yabo edumile.
Ukubaluleka Kocansi Ebudlelwaneni
Okuqukethwe
Ukubaluleka kocansi ebudlelwaneni sekukhulunywe ngakho kabanzi futhi kwaphikiswana ngakho. Ekhuluma ngale ndaba, uDkt Aman usitshela ukuthi kungani ucansi lubalulekile empilweni yomuntu “Ucansi ngezindlela eziningi luyiphuzu lobudlelwano.Njengoba lungumahluko omkhulu phakathi kobungani nobudlelwano, ukufakwa kocansi kanye nokuhlangana kwezothando kubalulekile kubantu abaningi abathandanayo.
"Ngaphezu kwalokho, kuyisisusa senhlalo namasiko ukusunduza abantu esigabeni esilandelayo sempilo. Kungaba ukuqala umndeni ndawonye noma ngisho nokuthatha uhlobo oluthile lwephrojekthi yokuphila ndawonye ndawonye. Ngezindlela eziningi, ucansi lusebenza njengesisusa sokusunduza abantu kuphrojekthi yezenhlalo ubudlelwano obungaba njalo."
Uma “ingabe ucansi luyabuqinisa ubuhlobo” luke lwafika engqondweni yakho, ngokusekelwe kulokho uDkt Aman akushoyo, ukuya ocansini ebudlelwaneni kungaphusha umbhangqwana ndawonye futhi kusebenze njengesisusa sokuzibophezela impilo yonke.
Manje sekuyiqiniso elamukelekayo ukuthi abantu abahlanganyela ocansini badinga ukusondelana ukuze bachume ebuhlotsheni babo. Ucwaningo olusha olusekelwe ekutholakaleni kwezifundo ezine ezahlukene luphethe ngokuthi "ucansi alubonakali luzuzisa nje kuphela ngenxa yemiphumela yalo yomzimba noma ye-hedonic kodwa ngoba lukhuthaza ukuxhumana okuqinile nokuhle nomlingani."
Lokhu empeleni kusho ukuthi akusona nje isenzo socansi ngokwaso kodwa uthando oluhambisana nalo yilona olukhuthaza umuzwa wenhlalakahle nokwaneliseka phakathi kwabalingani. Lokhu kuboniswa kothando kudlulela ngalé kokusebenzelana kocansi, futhi kuhlanganisa ukwanga, ukuqabulana nezinye izinhlobo zokuthintana ngokomzimba phakathi kwabalingani.
Okubalulekile wukuthi ukuya ocansini kodwa lungekho uthando angeke kubusize ngalutho ubudlelwano benu. Umqondo wokubaluleka kocansi ebudlelwaneni ubamba amanzi kuphela inqobo nje uma uxhumene nothando nothando. Nasi isizathu:
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izizathu Ezi-5 Zokuthi Ukusondelana Phakathi Kwabashadikazi Kuphele Futhi Ungakuvimbela Kanjani
1. Ucansi luletha ukujaha ngokomzwelo
"Isenzo socansi senzelwe ukuthi sibe mnandi, ukube bekungemnandi, abantu bebengeke basenze. Ngakho-ke, ucansi lungenye yezindlela esifuna ngazo ubungane nokujabulelana," kusho uDkt Aman.
Ngenxa yokukhishwa kwamahomoni okuzizwa ejabule alandelwe yi-orgasm, ucansi lukunikeza ukujaha ngokomzwelo. Ukukhululwa kwama-endorphin kusiza ekunciphiseni ukucindezeleka, i-testosterone isiza ekuthuthukiseni ukusebenza kuyo yonke imikhakha yokuphila, futhi i-dopamine iqhubekisela phambili imizwa yakho yenjabulo nesimo sengqondo sokuhamba.
Uma ehlangene, la ma-hormone asebenza njengengcina eqinisa isibopho phakathi kwabalingani futhi igcine ubuhlobo benu buqinile. Ucwaningo olushiwo ngaphambili mayelana nezinzuzo zocansi luphinde luveze ukuthi le mizwa emihle ihlala okungenani amahora angu-24, okuholela emuzweni wokwaneliseka oqhubekayo.
Le 'hangover' iqinisa imizwa eyakhayo ngomlingani wakho, ikwenze wazise futhi wazise ubudlelwano bakho kakhulu. 'Ukuthatheka' okuzwa ekuqaleni kobudlelwano kungase kuboniswe eqinisweni lokuthi imibhangqwana eminingi ihlanganyela ocansini oluningi ekuqaleni kobudlelwane.
2. Kuyi-stress buster
Ucansi luphinde lukhiphe i-oxytocin, enikeza ukukhululeka okusheshayo ekucindezelekeni futhi ikhuthaze umuzwa wokuphumula. Isebenza njenge-antidote ye-cortisol, okuyi-hormone yokucindezeleka eyinhloko.
Ucwaningo mayelana nokuziphatha okujabulisayo okunciphisa ukucindezeleka lubonisa ukuthi ucansi luvuselela uhlelo lomvuzo ebuchosheni, ngaleyo ndlela, lusiza ekunciphiseni ukungezwani. Ukuze uthole lezi zinzuzo akudingeki ukuthi ufinyelele ezingeni elifanele. Ukuxhumana kwesikhumba nesikhumba okuhlala isikhathi esingaphezu kwemizuzwana engama-20 kwanele ukwenza i-oxytocin igeleze egazini lakho.
Ngakho-ke, ubulili bungadlala indima ebalulekile ekwehliseni ukungezwani nezingcindezi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuqondene nobudlelwano obuthile noma okubangelwa izici zangaphandle ezifana nomsebenzi, izindaba zezempilo noma izingqinamba zezimali. Ngakho-ke, akukho ucansi ebudlelwaneni okusho ukuthi ucabanga ukuthi lisho ukuthini: izingcindezi zokuphila zizoba nomthelela omubi.
3. Ukuqinisekiswa ocansini kungakhuphula ukuzethemba
Isithombe somzimba kanye nokungazethembi okufihliwe kunomthelela oqondile kwikhwalithi yempilo yomuntu yocansi. Ucwaningo ngezindaba zesithombe somzimba kanye nokusebenza kocansi lubonisa ukuthi kungathinta zonke izici zobulili, kusukela ekushiseni ucansi kanye nokuvuka komzimba kuye ekwanelisekeni.
Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi okuphambene nakho kuyiqiniso. Isenzo socansi siyindlela yokuqinisekisa evela kothandekayo, okungaba umfutho omkhulu womuzwa wokuzethemba. Engeza ukushesha kwe-dopamine kumxube, futhi unazo zonke izakhi ezidingekayo ukuze uzizwe ulungile ngawe futhi ukhululekile esikhumbeni sakho.
Uma ubungabeka phansi ukubaluleka kocansi kowesifazane noma owesilisa, ukuqinisekiswa abakuthola kukho kungaba esinye sezizathu eziphezulu. Ngeke nje kuphela ukuthi ukuzethemba kukhuphule ukusebenza kwabo embhedeni, kodwa kuzokwandisa ukwaneliseka kwempilo yabo yomsebenzi futhi kungase kunikeze izinzuzo ezithile ekuphileni kwabo komphakathi.
4. Ucansi luthuthukisa ukusondelana
Ukubaluleka kocansi ebudlelwaneni kudlulela ngale kwegumbi lokulala. Lesi simo sichazwa ngokuthi ukusondelana kakhulu. Uma usondelana kakhulu ngokocansi, uzoba nokusondelana kakhulu nakwezinye izici zobudlelwano bakho. Kungaba ukusondelana ngokomzwelo noma ukuvumelana kakhulu, ukusondelana okuphelele phakathi kwabalingani kuphakama ngempilo yocansi enempilo. Lokhu kuphinda kugcizelele isisekelo esithi 'uthando luzala ucansi kanti ucansi luzala uthando' esasungulwa ucwaningo.
"Ngenxa yobudlelwano obuhlanganyelwe, ukusebenzisana ngokubambisana kuyaqala. Uma owesilisa nowesifazane bezikhandla kunoma yikuphi ukuphishekela umphakathi, kungaba ukuqala umndeni, ukuthatha isilwane esifuywayo noma ukuthenga ikhaya, ukusondelana ababelana ngakho kuzoholela ezinqumweni ezingcono," kusho uDkt Aman, esazisa ukuthi ucansi lubaluleke kangakanani empilweni yomuntu nokuthi izinzuzo zidlulela ngaphandle kwekamelo lokulala.
5. Ukuqomisana ngemva kocansi kukusondeza
Ucwaningo olwenziwe eNyuvesi yaseToronto eMississauga luveza ukuthi ukuzibandakanya ngemva kocansi ngendlela yokugona nokuqabulana kukhuthaza izibopho ezijabulisayo nezanelisayo phakathi kwabalingani. Lokhu kubangelwa nokukhululwa kwe-oxytocin ngenxa yokuxhumana ngokomzimba. Yiqiniso, ukuze usebenzise le nzuzo, udinga ukuya ocansini kuqala.
6. Kwenza abalingani bazizwe bebalulekile
Ebudlelwaneni obuningi bomuntu oyedwa, isenzo sokuya ocansini nomlingani ngokuvamile singabenza bazizwe bebalulekile, bethenjwa futhi bethandwa umlingani wabo. Isizathu sokuthi kungani ubuhlobo bomzimba bubalulekile othandweni kungenxa yokuthi ungqimba olwengeziwe lokuhambisana lubekwe endaweni ngesikhathi sesenzo socansi.
UDkt Aman uthi “Ubudlelwano bocansi buyindlela yokunikeza umlingani wakho umbono wokuthi ubalulekile, kuyindlela engasho lutho yokuthi 'wuwena kuphela umuntu engibelana naye ngalokhu', okuyikhona okunikeza ozakwethu isikhundla esikhethekile. Ngokuvamile, kuyindlela yokusho ukuthi manje sesiboshelwe kuphela komunye nomunye futhi siboshwe ndawonye yilo mqondo nobuqotho bomunye nomunye."
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ucansi Oluhle Lungakuqeda Ukukhathazeka Kwakho – Izindaba Ezi-5 Zangempela
Ukubaluleka kocansi ekwakheni ubudlelwano obuvumelanayo kusobala. Ubudlelwano buyachuma ekugcwalisekeni kobudlelwano bocansi phakathi kwabalingani kanye nempilo yakho ngaphandle kwekamelo lokulala nakho kuzothinteka kahle. Ngakho-ke, lapho sekushiwo futhi kwenziwa, ingabe ubulili buqinisa ubuhlobo? Ochwepheshe bethu bacabanga kanjalo.
Lubaluleke Kangakanani Ucansi Kowesifazane Nowesilisa?
Ingabe ukhona umehluko ngokubaluleka kocansi kowesifazane, nokubaluleka kocansi kowesilisa? Ingabe bobabili bakubona ngendlela ehlukile? Uma kunjalo, bayibheka ngendlela ehluke kangakanani?
Ukuphendula eminye yemibuzo yethu, uDkt u-Aman ulinganisa esihlokweni esithi “Nakuba amapharadigm ehlala eshintsha emphakathini wethu, imibono ebanzi ithi abantu besifazane bagxile kakhulu ezinhliziyweni zabo. Kubo ucansi lumayelana nokuthembana. Endodeni ucansi lubukwa njengobumnandi. Kufana nokunwaya emhlane okudingeka ukunwaye ngaso isikhathi nesikhathi.
UDkt Aman uthi nakuba eminye imikhuba ijwayele ukuba khona, ngokuvamile ayivimbeli amanzi. "Umuntu angaphikisa ngokuthi amadoda anobuchwepheshe enjabulweni abayithola ngocansi. Nakuba abesifazane bebekubona njengepasipoti ukuthola ukuqinisekiswa kanye nobungane. Kodwa-ke, lezi zincazelo ziyanwebeka, azibhalwanga etsheni. Ungathola okuhlukile ngaso sonke isikhathi," uyanezela.
“Yize, iphesenti labesifazane abaya ocansini ngenjongo yokuzijabulisa nje lincane kunamadoda asondela kulo ngenjongo yokuzijabulisa kuphela,” kusho uDkt Aman, ephetha ngokuthi nakuba umehluko ushintsha njalo, kukhona ukuthambekela okuvamile kuvame ukuba khona.
Ake sibheke kabanzi ukubaluleka kocansi kumuntu wesifazane nowesilisa, ukuze wazi ukuthi kwenzekani emiqondweni yabo.
Lubaluleke kangakanani ucansi kowesilisa osebudlelwaneni?
Uma ukusunduza kufika ekusunduzeni, umbono wabesilisa ngocansi uhluke ngokuphawulekayo kowabesifazane. Kunoma yibuphi ubudlelwano, ukuqonda imizwa yocansi yomlingani wakho, lokho okulindele kanye nemicabango yakhe kubalulekile empilweni eyanelisayo yocansi. Kodwa-ke, uma usebudlelwaneni bobulili obuhlukile, awukwazi ukuhlobana nemibono yomlingani wakho ngalolu daba.
Kodwa ungenza njalo umzamo wokuqonda ukuthi kubaluleke kangakanani ucansi kumuntu osebudlelwaneni nokuthi kungani:
- Ucansi lungokomzimba: Kwabesilisa, ubulili bungokomzimba. Lokhu kusho ukuthi isifiso sabo sibhebhezelwa ukushesha kwe-testosterone emzimbeni, okwenza isidingo sabo sokukhuluma ngocansi. Yingakho kwamanye amadoda kuba nzima ukuzilawula
- Ucansi yindlala: Ubulili buyisidingo esingokwemvelo, futhi bugqama kakhulu endabeni yamadoda. Bakulangazelela ngendlela abantu abafisa ngayo ukudla abakuthandayo noma uphudingi. Uma lokho kulangazelela kubamba engqondweni yabo, abakwazi ukukunyakazisa ngaphandle uma sebekusuthisile
- Ucansi luxhunywe nezimo zobudlelwane: Kuyigama elingelona iqiniso ukuthi amadoda ahlale ekulungele ukwenza okuthile. Kunalokho, izifiso zabo zobulili zibuswa futhi zibonisa izimo zobuhlobo. Ngokwesibonelo, ukulwa njalo noma ubuhlobo obungebuhle nomlingani wakhe kungabulala inkanuko yobulili yendoda
- Ucansi luwukubonakaliswa kothando: Ucansi luyindlela yendoda yokuveza uthando. Ezimweni eziningi, ukuya ocansini akuyona isifiso sobugovu. Bafuna ukujabulisa abalingani babo, bababone bevuliwe futhi bejabulela isenzo. Kubo, kuyindlela yokunikeza uthando komunye obalulekile
- Ucansi luwukuxhumana kwemizwa: Amadoda avame ukusolwa ngokufuna ucansi kuphela ebudlelwaneni, kodwa lokho bekungeke kube kude neqiniso. Amadoda nawo alangazelela ukuxhunywa ngokomzwelo. Ukuthi nje kubo ucansi luyisibonakaliso salokhu kuxhumana
Lubaluleke kangakanani ucansi kowesifazane osebudlelwaneni?
Lubaluleke kangakanani ucansi kowesifazane osebudlelwaneni? Lo mbuzo ufanelekile uma kuxoxwa ngokubaluleka kocansi ebudlelwaneni ngenxa yenkohliso edlangile yokuthi abesifazane ababheki ukubaluleka kocansi. Iqiniso liwukuthi abesifazane nabo bangakwazi ukugxila kakhulu ocansini ebudlelwaneni babo bothando. Umehluko phakathi kwezimo zengqondo zamadoda nabesifazane ngocansi usukela endleleni laba ababili abaveza futhi bahlangabezana ngayo nobulili babo.
Yize impendulo yokuthi lubaluleke kangakanani ucansi kowesifazane osebudlelwaneni ingeke yenziwe jikelele, izingqikithi ezithile ezijwayelekile zibonisa ukubaluleka kocansi ngokombono womuntu wesifazane:
- Ucansi luthinta imizwa: Kwabesifazane, ucansi luyindlela ejulile yokuxhumana ababelana ngayo nabalingani babo. Izifiso zakhe zobulili nezifiso zibangelwa imizwelo, izinkumbulo kanye namaphupho esikhundleni sokuxhamazela kwamahomoni
- Ucansi lumenza azizwe efisa: Ucansi lubalulekile kwabesifazane abathandanayo ngoba lubenza bazizwe befisa. Umlingani wakhe ozama ukumvula futhi enze uthando kuye ukuphindaphinda iqiniso lokuthi uyathandwa futhi uyaziswa
- Ucansi lulawulwa isimo somzimba nengqondo: Isifiso sobulili sowesifazane singashintshashintsha, njengoba sibuswa izici zangaphandle ezifana nempilo yakhe engokomzimba nesimo somqondo. Ngakho-ke, uma kunezinkinga ebudlelwaneni, angase angabi nesithakazelo ocansini. Ngokufanayo, lapho eba nokuguquguquka kwamahomoni - ngokuvamile ngemva kokubeletha noma ngesikhathi sokunqamuka kokuya esikhathini - ukubaluleka kocansi kuye kungase kwehle.
- Ucansi luwuthando: Iningi labesifazane alikwazi ukwenza i-orgasm ngokuhlangana kwe-vagin-penile bodwa. Kubo, uthando nokuyenga okuholela esenzweni sokugcina kubaluleke ngokufanayo.
- Ucansi luyindlela yokunikeza uthando: Njengabesilisa, abesifazane nabo babheka ucansi njengendlela yokunikeza uthando. Yingakho isikhathi esiningi abantu besifazane bevuma ukuya ocansini noma bengaluzwa. Akunjalo isihawu ucansi futhi akabophekile ukuba avume lapho engakufuni, kodwa ukwenza ngenxa yothando nemfudumalo yobuhlobo.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Amathiphu ayi-10 Okugcina Ubulili Emshadweni Wakho Buphila Futhi Bube Nongwe
Ngokungangabazeki, ubuhlobo bomzimba bubalulekile othandweni. Kodwa kwenzekani uma izinto ebesizibala izinzuzo zazo, zingasatholakali ebudlelwaneni bakho? Kuyiqiniso yini ukuthi akukho ucansi ebudlelwaneni okusho lokho abantu abaningi abathi lenzani: ubudlelwano obungajabulisi? Ake sithole.
Imithelela Yokuswela Ucansi Ebudlelwaneni
Uma kubhekwa ukubaluleka kocansi ebudlelwaneni, kungokwemvelo ukuzibuza ukuthi ingabe ukungafaneleki phambi kobuhlobo obuseduze kungaba nemiphumela emibi kuzibalo zabashadile. Ingabe ukusuka ocansini oluningi ekuqaleni uye ekubeni umbhangqwana ongenazo ubulili kusho ukuthi ubudlelwano benu buyaphela? Noma ingabe ukunciphisa izikhathi zocansi kuyinkambo evamile?
Sikhulume noDkt. Rajan Bhonsle, umeluleki wezocansi kanye nomeluleki, ukuze siqonde imiphumela yokuntuleka kocansi ebuhlotsheni.
"Akunakuphikwa ukubaluleka kocansi ebuhlotsheni. Kodwa kufanele uye ocansini nsuku zonke? Ingabe imvamisa yocansi yiyona kuphela isilinganiso sokuphila kocansi okunempilo? Impendulo ithi cha. Izinga lobuhlobo obuseduze phakathi kwabalingani ababili akuyona into engenziwa jikelele, hhayi ngokusekelwe kobulili noma ubudala, "usho.
Umthelela wokuntuleka kocansi ebudlelwaneni unomongo
NgokukaDkt Rajan, ukuze uqonde imiphumela yokuntula ubulili ebudlelwaneni, kufanele ucabangele isimo esithile sombhangqwana. “Uma umbhangqwana usushadile noma undawonye iminyaka engu-30 noma engu-40 futhi ujabulela ukuphila okumnandi ocansini ishumi leminyaka lokuqala noma amabili, khona-ke ukwehla kwesifiso sobulili abuphazamisi ubuhlobo.
“Ezimweni ezinjalo, ngokuvamile ukwehla kwemvamisa kungase kulethwe izici ezinjengobudala, ukuncipha kwe-libido, noma ukunqamuka kokuya esikhathini kanye nesigaba sokunqamuka kokuya esikhathini kwabesifazane.” Kukhona ukuqonda nokwamukela iqiniso lokuthi lolu shintsho olungokwemvelo alunakugwenywa.
"Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma umbhangqwana usesesikhathini esihle futhi ikhwalithi yempilo yawo yocansi iphansi ngenxa yezinkinga zobudlelwano ezifana nentukuthelo, inzondo noma ulaka olungenamsebenzi, yilapho imiphumela emibi yokuntuleka kocansi ebudlelwaneni iqala ukubonakala khona. Uma usebudlelwaneni obuzinikele , ukwenza ucansi kodwa uthando lungekho akuvamile ukusebenza. Olunye luhlotshaniswa nolunye."
Khona-ke, kunesimo sesithathu - esinye sezifiso zobulili ezingafanele, lapho omunye umlingani engase abe nomcabango ojabulisayo uma kufanele uye ocansini nsuku zonke futhi omunye angase angazizwa noma yikuphi ukuvukwa inkanuko. Nalapha, imiphumela ephazamisayo yokuntuleka kocansi ebuhlotsheni iyabonakala, "kusho uDkt Rajan.
Uma abantu abaningi beqonda ukubaluleka kocansi ebudlelwaneni, kungani kuvela lezi zinkinga? Futhi yini engenziwa ukuze kusingathwe ngokuphumelelayo? UDkt Rajan uthi konke kuncike ekuxhumaneni phakathi kwabalingani.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukuvuma Okuyi-11 Kwabantu Abashadile Ngokuthi Kungani Bayeka Ucansi
Ucansi, okuveza ngokucacile izidingo zocansi kanye nezifiso, kungaba isihloko esithinta inhliziyo. Ikakhulukazi, lapho umbhangqwana sintula ukuzwana ngokobulili. Lokho kuvimbela izingxoxo mayelana nezifiso nezinto ezilindelwe, ngokuvamile kubangela izinkinga ezingaxazululeka zibe yizinkinga ezinkulu.
Ukuze kugcinwe ubudlelwano, ucansi lubalulekile ngokungaguquki, noma okungenani ukuxhumana ngakho. Nansi indlela ukuxhumana - noma ukuntuleka kwakho - okuthinta ngayo ikhono lombhangqwana lokubhekana nemiphumela yokuntula ucansi ebuhlotsheni:
Lapho izithandani zingakhulumisani ngokuntuleka kocansi
"Okokuqala nje, imibhangqwana kufanele ithole ukuthi kusho ukuthini ukuntula ucansi, futhi baqiniseke ukuthi bayavumelana. Kungokwemvelo ukuthi abantu abathandana nabo bahlanganyele ocansini oluningi ekuqaleni kobudlelwane. Ukwehla kobuningi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi nakho kungokwemvelo. Ngakho-ke, ukubeka okulindelekile ngokulinganayo kubalulekile. Lokho kudinga inkhulumomphendvulwano.
“Ngokuvamile, imibhangqwana ayikhulumi ngobuqotho ngalezi zinto, ikakhulukazi uma kunezinye izinkinga zobuhlobo, ngenxa yalokho, ukwanda kokunganeliseki ebuhlotsheni.
"Kodwa akekho ofunda ingqondo. Okungashiwongo - futhi okungagcwaliseki - okulindelwe kunganezela umuzwa womuntu wokukhungatheka ngokocansi. Ngakho-ke, lapho kungekho ukuxhumana okwanele mayelana nokuntuleka kocansi , kuholela ekulweni, ukuphelelwa yisikhathi kanye nelineni elingcolile elisakazwa emphakathini."
“Ezimweni ezinjalo, ukungenelela kukachwepheshe kungaba nenzuzo enkulu.” Ngokwesibonelo, ngaba necala lapho umyeni ethi abukho ubulili obanele emshadweni kuyilapho inkosikazi yathi babelane kabili ngesonto eledlule. Waphendula ngokuthi kwenzeke ngemva kokuthula kwezinyanga eziyisithupha. Ngakho-ke, bobabili abalingani babengagcini nje ngokulindela okuhlukile kodwa futhi babe nemibono ehlukene ngalesi simo.
"Njengeqembu elingathathi hlangothi, isazi sezocansi singasiza imibhangqwana ukuthi ithole into efanayo futhi isebenze indlela yokuvuselela amakhemikhali abo ocansi ngendlela eyamukelekayo kubo bobabili abalingani," kusho uDkt Rajan Bhonsle.
Lapho imibhangqwana ikhuluma ngokuntuleka kocansi
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, lapho imibhangqwana ixhumana ngaphandle kokusolana, iba sesimweni esingcono sokubhekana nokuphila kocansi okunganelisi kangako. “Nganginomuntu owayenesifo sokuma okungafanele, okwamenza waqaphela ukusebenza kwakhe embhedeni. Umkakhe waqala ukubheka ukungafuni kwakhe ukuzibandakanya ocansini njengophawu lokuncipha kwesithakazelo sakhe kuye.
“Ngesikhathi efika kimina ngamtshela ukuthi inkinga ingaxazululeka ngemithi, wayengenalo ulwazi lokuthi kungenzeka, ngempatho efanele wakwazi ukubuyisela impilo yakhe yocansi, kwangenzeka ngoba wakhetha ukuphumela obala wakhuluma ngakho.
“Ngokunjalo kunecala lapho umyeni ayengagculisekile ngempilo yakhe yocansi, kuthe uma sibheka izizathu eziholele ekutheni benze ucansi, unkosikazi uthe bebelala nendodana yabo ekamelweni kwazise nomamezala naye behlala nabo kanti ingane ibilala kancane ivuke inyakaza nje.
"Kungenzeka kanjani ucansi, wabuza. Nalapha, ngokukhuluma ngenkinga yabo, umbhangqwana ukwazile ukuthola indawo ephakathi ukuze wenze izinto ziphumelele," kuchaza uDkt Rajan.
Ukubaluleka kocansi ebudlelwaneni akunakuphikiswana ngakho. Kodwa-ke, ukuntuleka kokusondelana akusho ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho abunalo ikusasa. Kuhlala kunezizathu eziyisisekelo ezihilelekile, futhi umthwalo wokuzithola nokuzixazulula uwela kumbhangqwana. Uma uzizwa sengathi awukulungele ukwenza lokho wedwa, ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe kuyindlela engcono kakhulu.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Ucansi luyisidingo esiphilayo, njengokudla noma ukulala. Ngaphandle kwalokho, isiza abalingani bothando baxhumane ezingeni elisondelene kakhulu. Kungakho ucansi ludlala indima ebalulekile ebudlelwaneni bombhangqwana.
Ngokungangabazeki, ubulili buqinisa ubuhlobo. Kuwukubonakaliswa kothando - yingakho kubizwa nangokuthi ukwenza uthando - lokho kukusiza uzizwe uxhumene kakhulu nophathina wakho futhi waziswa futhi uthandwa.
Yebo, ubudlelwano bungahlala ngaphandle kocansi, inqobo nje uma ukwehla kwempilo yakho yocansi kungaqalwa yizinkinga ezikhona. Uma nobabili anithandani nobulili noma izikhathi zokuya ocansini zehlile ngenxa yezinto eziphilayo, ningaqhubeka nokwabelana ngobudlelwano obanelisayo nobunothando nozakwenu.
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