Ikhulu lama-21 liye laba nombono owamukelekayo ngobulili nakho konke okubuzungezile. Cishe njalo ngemva kwezinyanga ezimbalwa, kubonakala sengathi kunokuthile okusha esingakufunda. Nakuba umhlaba manje sewamukela futhi ujwayele ukushintshashintsha kwezocansi, izinto bezihluke kakhulu esikhathini esingeside esidlule.
Cabanga emuva ngeminyaka yawo-1990, lapho uSeinfeld kwakuyinto enkulu kunazo zonke, futhi u-Ellen DeGeneres owaphuma ngo-1997 kwakuyizindaba ezisematheni. Ukungavunyelwa kocansi kwenza izingxoxo zaba nzima, futhi konke okubukwayo ocansini kwakungubhanana nekhondomu.
Kulesi sihloko, isazi sezocansi UDkt. Rajan Bhonsle, MD, UProfesa Ohloniphekile & U-HOD, uMnyango Wezokwelapha Zocansi, Isibhedlela i-KEM & GSMedical College, ukhuluma ngomehluko awubonile eminyakeni engu-36 yesipiliyoni njengochwepheshe osebenzayo.
Ukushintsha Kwesimo Sezocansi
Okuqukethwe
Kule minyaka engu-36 ngizijwayeza, isimo sishintshe ngokuphawulekayo. Lapho ngiqala, abantu babengafanele neze ukuya kudokotela ngezinkinga zocansi. Abaningi bebengazi ukuthi ubuchwepheshe obufana ne-sexology bukhona.
Njengoba ngangihlale ngifuna ukuthi imfundo yezocansi ilethwe phambili uma kubhekwa ukuthi kubaluleke kangakanani ukuthi abantu abasha babe nolwazi olufanele, ngaya ezikoleni ezimbalwa ukuze ngibuze ngamakilasi okufundisa ngocansi. Njengoba kwakuwumkhuba ngaleso sikhathi, nganikezwa ukubukeka okuxakile, amazwi ayiziswana, futhi ngidangele ukuba ngiqhubekele phambili.
Indlela abezindaba abavumelana ngayo endabeni yocansi nayo yayingeyinhle kakhulu. Ngizamile ukukhuluma namaphephandaba namajenali ngesihloko esilula esinesihloko esithi “Isidingo semfundo yocansi” kodwa umbono wesihloko wawunjengoba khona manjalo ngahlangatshezwa ukucutshungulwa nokululazwa.
Abahleli abakhulu bezinhlangano ezihlonishwayo ngeke bafune lutho oluhlanganisayo nakho. Uma ikhuluma ngocansi, bekuyisihloko “esingcolile”, yilokho okwacatshangwa abezindaba.
Lona leli phephandaba, kamuva nje, langimema ukuba ngibhale enye yezinhlu ezinde kakhulu eziphathelene nezindaba zobulili. Kafushane nje, umehluko embonweni wocansi ubonakala kulokho engidlule kukho nabezindaba. Ngathukwa ngokunikeza isihloko esiphathelene nemfundo yocansi, futhi manje ngibhala ikholomu ye-Q&A edumile yansuku zonke ebizwa ngokuthi “Buza uchwepheshe wocansi” ku-Mumbai Mirror.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinhlobo Eziyi-15 Zocansi Nezincazelo Zazo
Abesifazane Nocansi: Izinguquko Ezifike Ngesikhathi
Ayikho intatheli yesifazane eyayikhululekile ngokwanele ukubuza imibuzo ngocansi noma ukwenza indaba ngalo. Ngikhumbula isigameko esenzeka ngesikhathi sethula izinsiza zokwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado sathintwa intatheli yesifazane eyayizobhala yonke le nto.
Ngesikhathi senhlolokhono, lapho siqala ukukhuluma ngokuthi imibhangqwana idinga kanjani ulwazi mayelana nendlela yokwenza ngayo ubudlelwano bocansi emshadweni, intatheli yacasuka yathi, “Angizile ukuzoxoxa nawe ngocansi, lokhu kumayelana nokwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado.”
Akudingekile ukusho ukuthi into efana naleyo eyenzekayo ezweni lanamuhla ayinakuqondakala. Ezinsukwini zakudala, abesifazane babengayi kudokotela wezocansi ngezinkinga zabo ngabanye. Ngesikhathi ngisaqala umsebenzi wami, iziguli zesifazane zazifika kuphela kimi ngoba abayeni bazo bezihudulela lapho.
Abayeni babo babebakhulumela, babengeke babheke emehlweni, futhi babengeke bakhulume ngezinkinga zabo. Ngokujabulisayo, lokho akusenjalo. Iziguli manje azinakho ukungabaza ukukhuluma ngempilo yazo yezocansi kanye nezindaba.
Ukushoda kwezinkundla namathuba okuxoxa
Ukungamukeleki kwalesi sihloko kwakuvame ukudikibalisa izingxoxo eziphathelene nocansi, ngisho nasezindaweni eziphephile nezilawulwayo. Njengoba ngathola ngesikhathi ngiseNagpur, inkundla yezingxoxo kwakuyibo bonke abesifazane abaningi ababedingeka ukuze bakwazi ukukhuluma ngocansi.
Ngimenywe eNagpur ngenkulumo yephephandaba elidume kakhulu lesiMarathi izindaba zezempilo zocansi kwabesifazane. Ekuqaleni, sasikhathazekile ngabesifazane abangaveli. Ukuze kugwenywe izingxabano, kwanqunywa ukuthi isihloko salo mhlangano singasho lutho. Safika "Ezindabeni Ezingaphakathi Kwezindonga Ezine" ukuze sizame futhi singayeki izivakashi ezinentshisekelo ukuthi zihambe.
Samangala lapho ihholo lonke ligcwele phama. Bekufanele nginikeze inkulumo ihora, nginikeze noma ngithathe. Njengoba isixuku esikhulu esasiqhele ngamamitha angu-3 ukusuka kimi kuzo zonke izinhlangothi, sihlezi nomaphi lapho sasingathola khona indawo, sagcina silapho cishe amahora amathathu kuya kwamane.
Sicabange ukuthi ababambiqhaza bangase bangabaze ukubuza imibuzo esidlangalaleni, ngakho-ke sihlele ukuthi kutholakale ama-chits angaziwa. Ama-chits awazange asetshenziswe, futhi abesifazane babengangabazi ukusukuma babuze imibuzo yabo ngokuziqhenya.
Lesi sigameko senzeka eminyakeni engu-20 edlule futhi sakhuluma kakhulu ngolwazi oluthembekile abantu besifazane ababelulangazelela. Yebo, ngokufika kwe-inthanethi, kukhona ulwazi olutholakala kalula manje. Eminyakeni kusukela kuleso sigameko eNagpur, inhlangano efanayo yangimemela ezingxoxweni ezifanayo kuyo yonke iMaharashtra, futhi yonke indawo yayihlale igcwele abesifazane.
Ukushintsha Kombono Wabantu
Ezikhathini zakudala, amadoda ayengaze eze kudokotela wezocansi nganoma yini ngaphandle kwezinkinga zawo. Ukwaneliseka komkabo, izidingo zakhe, lokho akufunayo noma iqiniso lokuthi ucansi luyizindlela ezimbili babengazi. Inani elincane lenhlonipho elanikezwa abesifazane emphakathini libe neqhaza kulokhu okuguquguqukayo.
Abesifazane babengavunyelwe ukukhuluma noma ukufuna okuthile. Babengafundile kangako, bekhululiwe, noma bengakhululekile njengoba benjalo namuhla. Ngenxa yalokho, amadoda ayengakwazi ukufeza izidingo nezidingo zawo kuphela, futhi anganeliseki owesifazane embhedeni. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, lokho kuye kwashintsha kakhulu. Manje abesifazane sebekhululiwe futhi sebefundile uma kuziwa ocansini kanye nezidingo zabo.
Manje, amadoda aqaphela kakhulu futhi anakekela izidingo zabalingani bawo futhi. Bafunda nge-orgasm yabesifazane kanye nokubaluleka kokuthi bobabili amaqembu aneliseke. Manje, akusahlali kuwumsebenzi wohlangothi olulodwa owawuvame ukuba yikho. Ngokuvamile, amadoda afika azongibona ngikhathazekile ngokwaneliseka kwabesifazane. Ezikhathini eziningi, abangezi ngisho nezinkinga zabo, bafika bekhathazekile ngokushintshashintsha kocansi nezinto okungenzeka ukuthi bobabili babhekene nazo.
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Kusukela ku-“mina” kuya ku-“thina”: indlela amadoda ashintsha ngayo embhedeni
Ngeke kube ihaba ukusho ukuthi amadoda manje akhathazeke kakhulu ngokusebenza kunangaphambili. Manje sebeqaphela ngokugcwele ukuthi owesifazane unezidingo, izinto azilindele, nezimfuno.
Ukushintshashintsha kwamakhaya nakho kubambe iqhaza. Njengoba manje abesifazane benikela ngokulinganayo ngokwemali engenayo, ukulingana ekhaya sekuzuzile. Ngenxa yalokho, amadoda azwela kakhulu ezidingweni zabesifazane zocansi futhi awazichithi.
I-dynamics ezungeze imvume isishintshile futhi yaba ngcono. Sekuzwakala kahle ukuthi uma ecela ucansi aphendule ngokuthi cha kumele athule. Konke kuxhumene nendlela abesifazane abathuthukiswe ngayo, yingakho bethola umbono olinganayo emphakathini.
Eminyakeni yokuqala yokusebenza kwami, ngathola izigameko eziningi lapho amadoda awazange ahloniphe imvume. Nakuba kusenzeka, iphesenti linciphile nakanjani. Izimo lapho abantu besilisa bebevame ukuhlukumeza abalingani babo ngocansi, bedlala ikhadi elithi “mpofu”, futhi belokhu belicela nazo sezinciphile.
Izinganekwane ezazithwalwa ngamadoda
“Umlingani wami akazange ophe ngesikhathi siqala ukuya ocansini, kusho ukuthi akayona intombi? noma “Ufuna ukulala nami esikhundleni esiphezulu, ingabe lokho kusho ukuthi unolwazi?” Imibuzo enjalo ibingajwayelekile eshumini lokuqala leminyaka lokusebenza kwami.
Lezi zinganekwane seziholele ekutheni abesilisa bafune usizo kodokotela bezocansi hhayi ngenxa yezinkinga abanazo kodwa ngenxa yezinsolo abanazo ngabathandana nabo. Akukhona nje ukuthi le mibono ecatshangwayo ayizange iphazamise ubuhlobo babo kodwa nesimo sabo sengqondo ngabesifazane.
Yebo, isimo sihlukile manje. Abantu sebeyazi ukuthi ukuba “nowesifazane phezulu” kuyisimo esijwayelekile, abaphikeleli ekubeni “nomfazi oyintombi nto”, okwakuyinto enkulu. Kukhona isimo sengqondo esikhululekile futhi sokwamukela manje. Abantu sebeyakwamukela ubulili bomuntu wesifazane kanye nezidingo zakhe, nakuba kukuningi okufanele kwenziwe.
Ulwazi olunganembile, amagama asetshenziswayo, nezinguquko zokuxhumana
Ekuqaleni komsebenzi wami, iningi leziguli lafika nezinkinga zokungazali. Kwezinye izimo lapho benezinkinga ngokusebenza kocansi noma ukungasebenzi kahle kwe-erectile, bebengabaza kakhulu ukuxhumana. “Kukhona okungalungile,” babesho, benethemba lokuthi ngizokuqonda ngomlingo ukuthi bakhuluma ngani. “Kunzima, kunenkinga” lapho bezama ukungitshela ngobunzima be-orgasm ayilibeki iphuzu.
Namuhla, abantu bavame ukufika sebezilungiselele ngokugcwele ngolwazi abaluthole ku-inthanethi futhi bawazi kahle amagama. Bayayazi imiphumela yomshado ongenabulili bese uzama ukubheka izixazululo. Ukungabikho kwemfundo yezocansi kanye nokungabikho kwe-inthanethi kwenza kwaba nzima ukuthi umuntu ojwayelekile aqaphele amagama anjalo emuva kuma-90s.
Sekushiwo lokho, imibono eyiphutha ayikho ngaphansi kwesikhathi umuntu akuso futhi isadlangile ekhulwini lama-21. Njengoba i-sex-ed ingakatholakali kabanzi, abantu bathembele kakhulu ku-inthanethi. Futhi i-inthanethi ingumthombo omuhle wolwazi oluhle, kodwa futhi nolwazi olungalungile.
Ulwazi oluningi oluholela ezinkolelweni ezingamanga nalo luwushintsho olukhulu engilubonile eminyakeni yami yokuzijwayeza. Abantu abaningi bacabanga ukuthi ikhondomu ingabasindisa ekutholeni i-HIV, okungelona iqiniso. Lo mbono oyiphutha kungenzeka ukuthi usakazwe ngokushesha nge-inthanethi nangezindlela ezintsha zokuxhumana.
Uma kubhekwa ukuthi kulula kangakanani manje ukusabalalisa ukwaziswa okungamanga, abantu bangase bathonywe abanye abantu abazibiza ngongqondongqondo futhi bakholelwe ukuthi izinto ezinjengokushaya indlwabu zimbi futhi zimbi. Bangase bakholelwe ukuthi “ukulahlekelwa” kwesidoda kwenza umonakalo emzimbeni wakho, obungeke bube kude neqiniso.
Eqinisweni, zikhona izifundo zesayensi lokho kusikisela ukuthi akukho lutho olungalungile ngokushaya indlwabu njalo, eqinisweni, kuyakhuthazwa.
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I-spectrum yobungqingili: ukusuka ekwesabeni isimo esijwayelekile kuya ekwamukelweni
Ingxoxo mayelana nokushintshashintsha kocansi ngaphandle kokukhuluma ngobungqingili kungaba ubugebengu. Nakuba abantu namuhla bengakakwenzi “aphume ekhabetheni” ngokusobala njengoba bebengathanda kwezinye izingxenye zomhlaba, kube khona ushintsho oluhle ngempela kulesi sikhala.
Ezizukulwaneni ezindala, ongqingili babevame ukuphila impilo yabo yonke ngaphandle kokuphuma. Bazohlala bengashadile, bangashadi futhi lapho sebeshadile, babengeke bakwazi ukuqeda imishado yabo.
Namuhla, abantu, ngokubonga, sebekwazi ukuphumela obala. Lapho ongqingili bengivakashela, ababuzi izinto ezinjengokuthi “Ingabe ngivamile?” Bayazi ukuthi ukuba ungqingili akusho ukuthi awuvamile, ngokungafani nalokho ongqingili bezizukulwane ezidlule ababekutshelwa.
Umbono wekhulu lama-21 ngocansi
Emuva kuma-90s, ubulili babuhlanganiswe eduze nomqondo wothando, njengokungathi yinto engcwele, okumele ihlonishwe futhi ikhulunywe kuphela ezindaweni ezivaliwe. Impela kunabantu abasacabanga kanjalo, lehlile iphesenti labantu ababuka ucansi njengento okumele abantu abashadile bahlanganyele kukho.
Uma kukhulunywa ngezocansi, abantu abasasho amagama athi “UBULILI” kuyilapho bekhuluma ngakho. Abantu babejwayele ukusondela esihlokweni socansi ngokwesaba, futhi izingxoxo ezikhona manje zibonakala zikhululekile kakhulu. Abantu bazimisele kakhulu ukukhuluma ngakho, ngenxa yolwazi kanye nezinkundla zokuxhumana esitholakala kuzo.
Akumangazi ukuthi umbono wocansi usushintshile emhlabeni wonke, futhi akubonakali wehla ngokushesha. Yize abantu sebewazi kakhudlwana amagama kanye nemfundo abayidingayo, kuhlale kuwumqondo omuhle ukuqaphela imithombo yolwazi olutholayo.
Iyini i-Sextech? Incazelo, Izinzuzo, Futhi Kungani Kufanele Unakekele
Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
KAKHULU .gr8 Dr.rajan….ngomsebenzi wakho