Sawubona Mnumzana,
Umngani wami wakhuluma kabi ngami esokeni lami, wangilahla manje bayathandana.
Ngizizwa ngicasukile futhi angikwazi nje ukudlula ukuthi udlale ngokungcola kangaka ukuze azitholele yena. I also feel betrayed by my ex as he chose to believe my friend over me after all the support engamnika yona mhla abazali bakhe beshona, and all the emotional investment in him for 3 years.
Ngididekile ngokuthi ngakuvumela ngandlela thize lokhu kukhashelwa kokwethenjwa, futhi uma kunjalo, kungani. Ngibathukuthelele bobabili kanye nami ngokwami lapho ngikhona namuhla. Angikwazi nje ukudlula ubuhlungu nentukuthelo. Kumele ngenzeni?
U-Aman Bhonsle uthi:
Nkosazana ethandekayo,
Usanda kulahlekelwa ubudlelwano nobungane. Ubuhlungu nentukuthelo onayo njengamanje kuwukusabela okungokwemvelo ekulahlekelweni. Zibuze ukuthi ingabe ngaphandle kobuhlungu bokukhashelwa obuzwayo njengamanje, ingabe uyesaba ukuthi 'ungase ungalungeli ngokwanele'?
Ukuzilahla kuyinkinga yendawo yonke, kodwa leli yithuba elingandile lokuthi uguqule indlela ozibona ngayo.
Nawa amaqiniso athile ongawacubungula:
- Okuningi okwenzeka kithi ezimpilweni zethu kuyisimo esibucayi, ngakho-ke ukuzibeka icala akuyona indlela engcono kakhulu.
- Uzodinga isikhathi sokucubungula imizwa yakho.
- Lokhu kungase kuzwakale kudumaza ekuqaleni, kodwa akukho nakancane ingozi ekulileni into elahlekile. Eqinisweni, kuyindlela enempilo yokubhekana nakho.
- Uzodinga ukuthi ekugcineni ubuyele emuva ukuze uzihlolele izinto eziza kuqala kuwe.
Esikhundleni sokubuza ukuthi "Kungani lokhu kwenzeka kimi?", zibuze "Ingabe ngibe nesandla ngandlela thize ekuvumeleni lokhu kwenzeke kimi?"
Umuzwa wakho wokuzethemba 'ulinyazwe' yilokhu kukhashelwa futhi ngokuqondakalayo uzama ukwenza umqondo ngakho manje. Zibekezelele.
Eqinisweni, ubuhlungu buyi-agent ekhethwa yimvelo yoshintsho. Kusifundisa ukuba siqaphe futhi sinake indawo esizungezile ngendlela esifunda ngayo ukuvikela izithakazelo zethu njalo.
Nakuba umngane nesoka lakho benesibopho ngesinqumo sabo sokuziphatha ngendlela ekuzwise ubuhlungu, kuyisibopho sakho futhi ukufunda ukwenza ngcono ukuxoxisana ngendlela oba yingxenye yempilo yabanye abantu kanye nendima 'ovamise ukuphathiswa' yona ezilungiselelweni eziningi zeqembu.
Zibuze
- Ingabe ukhululekile kakhulu?
- Ingabe awunangqondo kakhulu?
- Ingabe ngokuvamile awuthathwa ngokungathi sína ngabanye abantu?
- INGABE uvame ukutshelwa ukuthi yini okudingeka uyenze?
- Ingabe awuyivezi imizwa yakho ngokucacile?
Udinga ukuhambisana neqhaza lakho kulesi simo. Lokhu akulula ukukwenza.
Ukuba khona kwakho empilweni yakhe ngesikhathi abazali bakhe beshona kwaba ukunwetshwa kwemizwa yakho yokumnakekela futhi ngeshwa, akuzona zonke izenzo ezinhle ezinomvuzo olinganayo, ngoba abantu banomoya omnene futhi ngezinye izikhathi bangase bazizwe 'benelungelo' noma 'bangenakubonga' ngokujwayelekile.
Yazi lapho ume khona futhi ubuyisele emuva ukulawula. Zijwayeze ukugomela, funda ukuthi Cha 'lapho kubalulekile'.
Hlola izidingo zakho futhi ungalokothi uzibe.
Ngaphandle kwalokho, ungase ubhekane nosizi ngokuzigcina umatasa, uchithe isikhathi nabangane bakho oseduze, ubeke impilo yakho kuqala (khulula lawo ma-endorphin!), uhlanganyele ekuzinakekeleni okuthile (ukuyovakashela iholidi elifushane noma uvakashele i-spa) noma ungene ohlelweni lwakho oluthandayo ngokudla okwanelisayo. Thatha lolo hambo olude futhi ubheke phezulu ezinkanyezini! Kunomhlaba wamathuba angapheli alindile.
Yazi ukuthi lesi yisiqalo se-adventure entsha enhle kuwe.
Ngikufisela okuhle
Ngike ngajola nozakwethu emsebenzini, kodwa manje sesihlukene. Ngibhekana kanjani nalesi simo?
Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
Ukuziphindiselela okungcono kakhulu kuwe wukubavumela ukuba babe ndawonye. Bayazi ukuthi lobu ubuhlobo obakhelwe phezu kwenkohliso kunokuthembana. Ngakho lapho i-karma ibavakashela hlala phansi futhi ujabulele. Baxolele kodwa ungakhohlwa abakwenze kuwe. Ngakho ngicela ungabi isilima ukubanika ithuba lesibili empilweni.