Ingabe uthando olungaxutshwe nalutho lubonakala ezinganekwaneni nasemafilimini kuphela? Ingabe uthando olumsulwa, olungaxutshwe nalutho, olungenamibandela lukhona empilweni yangempela? Ngethemba lokukufeza, obunye ubudlelwano bungase buhlupheke ngenxa yokulindela okungenangqondo; izithembiso eziyize zenziwa ezingeke zigcinwe. Yize kunjalo kodwa akunakuphikwa ukuthi uma ubhekene nobunzima kuyenzeka kube khona amathemba othando olungaxutshwe nalutho, okuyisizathu esenza abaningi bethu bakholelwe kulo.
Inganekwane ephetha sonke esiyilangazelelayo - futhi baphila kamnandi ngemva kwalokho - kumele ihlanganise uthando olungaxutshwe nalutho, akunjalo? Kodwa ingabe ukuzinikela nothando olunjalo oluqinile, olungantengantengi lubukeka kanjani ekuphileni kwangempela?
Ake sizame ukuqonda ukuthi uthando olungaxutshwe nalutho lusho ukuthini nokuthi lubukeka kanjani emhlabeni wangempela.
Lusho Ukuthini Uthando Olungaxutshwe Nalutho?
Incazelo yegama elingaxutshwe nalutho iwukuthi “into engaxutshwanga noma engafakwanga nezinye izinto, yona iyenze ibe msulwa, iphelele futhi iphelele.” Olimini lothando, uthando olungaxutshwe nalutho lusho ukungabibikho kobugovu ebudlelwaneni benu. Ukungabikho kwanoma yiziphi izisusa ezicashile, ukungabi bikho kwanoma yini enye ngaphandle kothando olumsulwa, olucabangelayo, olucabangelayo.
Uma abantu ababili bethola uthando olungaxutshwe nalutho, okusho ukuthi bathola uthando oluphelele, olugculisayo komunye nomunye, wuhlobo lothando olwenza ubuhlobo bubonakale bumsulwa. Uma uwabuka, kubonakala sengathi kwakuhlala kulula ukuzuza. Umuntu angaze ayibize ngokuthi 'Uhlobo lothando lwePragma - eyodwa ehlala naphezu kwezithiyo eziningi impilo ekugcineni ikuphonsa endleleni.
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Uthando olungaxutshwe nalutho aluzwani nentukuthelo edala ukuhlukana futhi iguqule amazinga othando, okungenzeka wake waba nawo esikhathini esidlule. Iwuhlobo lothando olungeke luvumele izinkinga ezincane ukuba ziphazamise into enhle ngendlela emangalisayo nenelisayo, isithandwa somphefumulo ongachitha naye impilo yakho yonke.
Ingabe uthando olumsulwa, olungenakonakala lukhona ekuphileni kwangempela? Nakuba incazelo “yothando olungaxutshwe nalutho” ingahluka kuye ngokuthi izithandani, akungabazeki ukuthi zikhona ngempela. Ngendaba elandelayo, ngizokutshela ngesikhathi ngabona uthando olumsulwa olungaxutshwe nalutho, kodwa ngangimncane kakhulu ukuba ngiqonde ukubaluleka kwalo. Qhubeka ufunde ukuze ubone ukuthi ezikhathini zokuphelelwa ithemba, uthando lwalunqoba kanjani.
Lunjani uthando olungaxutshwe nalutho
Izinwele ezigqamile - izinsalela ezincane ze-chemotherapy ecekela phansi - zasulwa ngobunono esiphongweni sakhe. Imigqa yobuhlungu ebusweni bakhe yagudluzwa ngempushana yobuso buka-Yardley's lilac. Amehlo abuthuntu abonakala ngokugqama uma kuqhathaniswa nezinhlaka ze-kohl ezinwetshwe ngaphandle ukusuka emakhoneni, ekulinganiseni izimonyo zamehlo 'ezimise okwenhlanzi' ezazidume kakhulu eminyakeni edlule.
Igolide eliwugqinsi umabhebhana kwasindwa intamo ebuthakathaka. Kuboshwe isikhafu esibomvu ebusweni bakhe, sifihla isikhumba esiyiphepha esinwetshwe ezihlathini ezishona phansi. Izinsalela zamakha zazivala iphunga elivuthiwe lesifo elaliphuma esikhunjeni sakhe.
The bindi esiphongweni kunechashaza elibomvu phakathi kwamashiya azacile. U-Raj uwudwebele kancane ngodwi olumhlophe oluthi 'udi' - umlotha ongcwele - ubuyiswa ngokucophelela ethempelini, ngethemba lokufaka amandla emithandazo empilweni esheshayo.
Wabe emgqolozela umzuzu omude. “Umuhle, uyazi,” esho ngesineke. Futhi ubuso bukaKala baphazima emamatheka enelisekile.
Lokhu kwenzeka eminyakeni engamashumi amabili edlule. U-Kala washona ezinsukwini ezimbalwa ngemva kwalokho, equleka equleka ngenxa ye-metastasis yomdlavuza. U-Raj washona eminyakeni emine kamuva, ngalokho okwakusolwa ukuthi ukuhlaselwa yinhliziyo, kodwa empeleni, mhlawumbe kwakuyinhliziyo ephukile. Futhi lesi sigameko kade salibaleka, ngaphandle kwengane eneminyaka eyishumi nanhlanu owazibonela ngawakhe.
Akuzange kungihlabe umxhwele kakhulu ngaleso sikhathi – ezothando ezindala azikwenzi, uma zibonwa ngamehlo amancane. Ngaleso sikhathi, kwakubonakala kuwushizi futhi kunamahloni.
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Manje, nokho, ngiyabubona ubuhle nezindlela ezingemuva kwalokhu kudlala okuncane. Umkhulu akashongo lawo mazwi ngoba edabukela ugogo, noma ngoba efuna ukumenza azizwe engcono...wazizwa emuhle ngempela. Ngiyaqaphela manje, ukuthi kwakungekho mkhondo wosizi, isihawu, noma ukudabuka esitatimendeni sakhe - kwakuwuthando olungenasici.
Manje, sengimdala ngokwanele ukuba ngibone ukuthi uthando olukwazi ukubona ubuhle ebusweni obuncishwe ukugula…uthando olungashintshiwe ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, izifo nokufa, kumelwe ukuba kwakuwuhlobo lothando oluyivelakancane noluqine kakhulu. Ngalolo suku engaqonda ngalo ngempela ukuthi iyini ngempela incazelo yothando olungaxutshwe nalutho.
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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
