Uthando olungenamibandela ebudlelwaneni luyisisekelo esiqinile samaphupho akho othando. Imihlatshelo iba ubufakazi balolu thando, futhi kubusa ukusekelwa nokuqonda okungantengantengi. Akukhona nje ukuthi “Ngiyakhathalela,” kodwa ukukufakazela ngezenzo.
Kulezi zikhathi zangempela, ubona ukujula kokuzinikela kanye nesifiso sokusizana sichume. Uthando olufana nalolu wumoya ongaphansi kwamaphiko akho, ukuphushela ezinhlosweni zakho ngobukhona obuqinisekisayo. Kunjalo ukubaluleka kothando olungenamibandela ezimpilweni zethu.
Sonke sifisa lolu hlobo lokuxhumana ngaphandle kokungabaza. Ucwaningo lwango-2015 luthole ukuthi imibhangqwana ebike ukuthi izizwa inothando olungenamibandela ngabalingani bayo yayaneliseka kakhulu ngobudlelwano bayo. Kodwa-ke, empeleni, ingabe luhlala isikhathi eside? Ingabe uthando olungenamibandela lungokoqobo? Kungase kubonakale kukhathaza ngokomzwelo ukuthanda ngaphandle kokulindela. Pho-ke uqinisekisa kanjani ukuthi umlingani wakho uyakuthanda ngaphandle kwemibandela? Silapha ukuze sixazulule ukungabaza kwakho ngothando olungenamibandela nakho konke okuhilelekile.
Luyini Uthando Olungenamibandela Ebudlelwaneni?
Okuqukethwe
Sonke siyazi into eyodwa ngokuqinisekile, ukuthi uthando nokuthatheka kuhlukile . Ngakho-ke, kusho ukuthini ukuthanda umuntu ngaphandle kwemibandela? Ngamazwi alula, ukuthanda ngaphandle kwemibandela kumayelana nokwamukela nokuthanda umuntu njengoba enjalo. Kumayelana nokumenza azizwe ephephile enkathini lapho abantu bengathandi khona izibopho ezindabeni zabo ezivamile. Kungumzwelo ojulile kakhulu owukhuthazayo kumuntu othandekayo ongashintshi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi izimo zinjani, ngokungafani nokuthatheka okwethutyana futhi okunemibandela.
Uma uzwa uthando oluqinile, olunakekelayo ngothile, lushintsha indlela obona ngayo umhlaba. Bangase babe umngane wakho omkhulu wobuntwana, ingane yakini, noma omunye obalulekile. Kungakhathalekile ukuthi hlobo luni lobudlelwano bakho nabo, noma ngabe lo muntu ukuwe noma ukude ngamamayela, noma ngabe uyayazi imizwa yakho noma cha, isenzo sokuzidela sothando sizokuholela ekubeni ubeke izithakazelo zabo ezinhle kuqala bese wena ube ngowesibili. Ukuguquguquka okunjalo kuhlala kuza nesigatshana 'sothando ngaphandle kokulindela'.
Uma kukhona uthando olungenamibandela ebudlelwaneni phakathi kwabalingani ababili abasebudlelwaneni bothando, ukuxhumana kwabo akubuswa yinoma iyiphi imibandela yokufaneleka noma isivumelwano sobudlelwano. Ukuthanda umuntu ngokujulile kusho ukuthi ngeke ucabange ngokubeka imingcele noma imibandela kuye. Iminyaka yobudala, ukubukeka, kanye nebhalansi yasebhange kuba izinto eziguquguqukayo ezingasenandaba nanoma yikuphi.
Ukuze uthande ngaphandle kwemibandela, nazi izithako ozidingayo:
- Ukuhloniphana
- Izenzo zokuzidela
- Ukwethembeka okuphelele
- Amandla okuthethelela
- Ikhono lokusingatha ukwenqatshwa
Luyini Uthando Olungenamibandela? - Izinhlobo Zothando Ezingenampilo Okufanele Uziqaphele
Ezimweni zothando ezingaphilile, umuntu oyedwa ubona omunye efanelwe uthando kuphela uma egcwalisa imibandela ethile engafanele. Lolu uhlobo lothando olungaphilile ngoba luholela emizweni yokungazethembi kumlingani othintekile. Luphinde ludale ukungalingani kwamandla ebudlelwaneni okungaholela ekuhlukunyezweni.
Ngokwesibonelo, isoka lomngane wami uGwen lalimthanda kuphela lapho liyenza yonke imisebenzi yasekhaya futhi limshiya yedwa ne-PlayStation yakhe. Kusengathi bekudlalwa uhlelo lokuklomelisa, olusebenza ezimisweni zokufana kothando – Kodwa kuphela uma kumfanele. Lolu hlobo 'lothando' lungaqeda ukuzethemba kwakho ngokukwenza uzizwe sengathi awulungile, ikakhulukazi uma insizwa enjalo ikubopha ihambisana nokubonisana uthando ngezikhathi ezithile. Ngakho-ke, nakhu ukuthanda ngaphandle kwemibandela AKUKHO:
- Ukulinganisa amaphuzu phakathi kozakwethu
- Ukuba nezimpi ezifanayo ngokuphindaphindiwe
- Ukwahlulela okwengeziwe nokwamukelwa okuncane
- Ukuzama ukulawula omunye nomunye isinyathelo ngasinye noma isenzo
- Igcwele izimpawu zokungazethembi
- Ukuphatha imizwa nobuthakathaka bomunye nomunye
Kubalulekile ukuthi uzikhumbuze ukuthi akufanele udele ubuwena egameni lothando olungenamibandela. Ukubekezelela ukuhlukunyezwa, ukukhanyiswa ngegesi, nokunye ukuziphatha okunobuthi ngaphansi kwegama lothando akunempilo futhi kuzolimaza inhlalakahle yakho. Ngomoya onqotshiwe, kuzokwenza ubuze, “Ingabe uthando olungenamibandela lukhona noma yinganekwane nje?”
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izihluthulelo Eziyi-8 Zokuhlala Othandweni Kuze Kube Phakade
Ngabe Uthando Olungenamibandela Lunempilo Nini?
Izimo ezinhle kakhulu lapho uthanda khona umuntu ngokungenamibandela yilokhu kuxhumana okuseduze phakathi kwabazali abavuthiwe ngokomzwelo nezingane zabo, uthando lukamama olungenalo igunya, noma lobo bungane bokugibela noma bokufa. Kufana nokuba nenethi yokuphepha eyenziwe ngokwanga nokuqonda okujulile nokujulile. Ake sihlole ukuthi uthando olungenamibandela lungathuthukisa kanjani ubudlelwano bakho nomlingani wakho:
- Komnikezi: Inikeza abantu abaningi umuzwa wokunikwa amandla nokuvikeleka, futhi ibenza bazizwe bejabule ngoba yibona abaphethe imizwa yabo. Ukuthanda umuntu ngale ndlela kukwenza uzethembe futhi uzethembe. Lesi simo esifana nephupho sishintsha sibe ngokoqobo lapho lolo thando lubuyiselwa.
- Okomamukeli: Ukwazi ukuthi kunomuntu oyedwa kulo mhlaba ongaba nawe ebuhleni nasebubini, ongakuhluleli ngokusobala ngamaphutha akho, kuye okunengqondo konke ngawe, futhi ongakuthethelela lapho wenza iphutha elikhulu kududuza kakhulu futhi kunomthelela enhlalakahleni yakho iyonke. Ubungane babo busiza ukwandisa umbono wakho futhi ube umuntu omkhulu ngezinye izikhathi.
Uthando olungenamibandela lwakha ubudlelwano obuhle uma lusekelwe esisekelweni sokuhloniphana kanye nenhlalakahle engokomzwelo. Ezinye zezici zalo yilezi:
- Ebudlelwaneni bothando obunempilo, abalingani abanothando olungenamibandela bayesekelana ngezinselele kanye nokukhula komuntu siqu
- Lolu thando luhambisana imingcele enempilo nokuxhumana okuvulekile
- Lapho lunikezwa futhi lwamukelwe ngendlela elinganiselayo nevumelanayo, uthando olungenamibandela lunengxenye enhlalakahleni engokomzwelo futhi luqinise izibopho.
- Kwakha indawo lapho abantu bengachuma khona futhi babhekane nezinselele ngokukhuthazela
- Uthando olunempilo olungenamibandela luhlala lulinganisela nokuzinakekela kanye nokuqashelwa kwesikhathi sokufuna usizo
Izimpawu Eziyi-12 Zothando Olungenamibandela Ebudlelwaneni
UJosie, udokotela wamazinyo ovela kuPhilly, wabelana nathi ngendaba yakhe. Yena noStephano base bethandane iminyaka embalwa futhi basanda kuthuthela ndawonye. Konke kwakuhamba kahle kwaze kwaba yilapho kutholakala ukuthi u-Josie une-Parkinson's ekuqaleni. Wathi kuye: “Asihlukane, akufanele udlule kulokhu.
Wanikina ikhanda wathi, “Ucabanga ukuthi ngingakushiya wedwa ngesikhathi ungidinga kakhulu, ungumhlaba wami, angiyi ndawo. Khona-ke kunesinye sezibonelo ezinhle kakhulu eziphendula umbuzo othi, “Umthanda kanjani umuntu ngaphandle kwemibandela?”
Uma uthanda umuntu kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kwenzekani, kuzwakala kuyinto engavamile futhi enhle. Kudinga amakhono athile obudlelwano ukuze busebenze. Kungashintsha indlela yobudlelwano bakho futhi buhlale phakade . Ngakho-ke, uma unokungabaza okuncane ngobunzima bemizwa ebudlelwaneni okubo, lezi zibonakaliso ezingu-12 zothando olungenabugovu zizokulethela ukucaca okudingeka kakhulu:
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindaba zothando olungenamingcele phakathi kwemibhangqwana
1. Kukhona ukwamukelwa okuphelele phakathi kwabo bobabili ozakwethu
Zicabange uyindida enezicucu ezihlukene - Ezinye ziyacwebezela, ezinye zigugile kancane. Uthando olungenamibandela ebudlelwaneni lufana nokuthola umuntu othanda iphazili yonke, hhayi nje izingxenye ezinhle, bese ethi, uma kungenjalo ngamazwi ngezenzo, “Uyathandwa ngaphandle kwemibandela.”
Lesi ngesinye sezibonelo zothando olungenamibandela oluthinta kahle inhlalakahle yakho engokomzwelo. Kufana nokubamba indawo ephephile lapho ungabonisa khona ubuwena bangempela ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ngokwahlulela. Kuyindlela yokuxhumana esuka enhliziyweni ethi, “Uyamangalisa, njengoba unjalo nje” futhi kuyaduduza njengejezi elidala eliyintandokazi ngosuku olubandayo.
2. Ukuthula okusekelanayo kungenye yezimpawu zothando olungenamibandela ebudlelwaneni
Uthando olungapheli lufana nokuba nomlingani olalela imizwa yakho njengengoma abayizwayo kuphela. Lolu limi olungakhulunywa luveza okuningi ngaphandle kokukhipha umsindo. Isenzo sothando esingenabugovu sibukeka kanje:
- Esinye sezibonelo ezinhle kakhulu zothando olungenamibandela ebudlelwaneni bothando ngisho nalapho ulahlekelwe amagama, umlingani wakho uyakuqonda okudingayo.
- Kulokhu kuxhumana okukhethekile, ningahlala ndawonye nithule nizizwe nigcwalisekile futhi ninokuthula
- Imibhangqwana enjalo inikeza ukusekela nokuqonda ngokwazi ukuthi kufanele bakhulume nini, nalapho omunye edinga induduzo ngokuthula
3. Uphana ngokungalindelekile
Uyabuza, kanjani ukuthanda ngaphandle kwemibandela emshadweni, noma kunoma ibuphi ubuhlobo ngalolo daba? Nansi indlela: Cabanga umangaze umlingani wakho ngesidlo sakhe asithandayo, ngoba nje ufuna ukubona ubuso bakhe bukhanya. Lolu hlobo lokupha aluphathelene nokugcina amaphuzu; imayelana nokwabelana ngothando lwakho ngendlela yalo emsulwa. Lolu hlobo lobudlelwano bakhelwe isikhathi eside, futhi inselele ngayinye ebhekene nayo iqinisa isibopho kuphela.
Noma thatha isithombe salokhu: Uzakwenu uhlela ubusuku obungalindelekile ngaphandle kokulindela ukubuyiselwa okuthile. Kufana nokwanga okuthinta inhliziyo, isikhumbuzo sokuthi uthando lungaba isenzo sokuzidela futhi esijulile ngokwaso. Lolu hlobo lokupha lubonisa ukuthi kukhona injabulo emangalisayo ekwenzeni inhliziyo yothandiweyo wakho yeqe isigqi ngaphandle kokudinga lutho ngaphandle kwenjabulo yakhe.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyi-17 Zothando Lweqiniso Ezivela Kowesifazane
4. Izibonelo zothando olungenamibandela: Kunozwela nokwabelana kwakho kokubili injabulo nobuhlungu
Uma uzibuza ukuthi uthando olungenamibandela lwezothando lubukeka kanjani ngemva kosuku olunzima emsebenzini, nansi indlela okungahamba ngayo: Lowo muntu oyedwa obalulekile, uyazi nje ukuthi udinga ukwanga okududuzayo kanye nenkomishi yekhofi efudumele ngaphandle kokuthi uchaze. Noma uma ujatshuliswa okuthile, bahlanganyela enjabulweni yakho njengokungathi nabo baphila ngakho. Ukwethembeka kwenjabulo yabo kwenza inhliziyo yakho incibilike.
Lolu hlobo lozwela lufana nokuxhumana okusuka enhliziyweni kuya enhliziyweni, ikhodi eyimfihlo ethi, “Ngiyakuqonda ngokujulile.” Kufana nokuba nohlelo lokusekela ngokomzwelo olwakhelwe ngaphakathi , umuntu ongagcini nje ngokuba eceleni kwakho, kodwa ngaphakathi enhliziyweni yakho, ozizwa ejabule futhi ejabule njengawe.
5. Imodi ye-cheerleader cishe ihlala ivuliwe ebudlelwaneni obunjalo
Siluchaza kanjani uthando olungantengantengi? Hhayi-ke, ake ucabange unobudlelwano lapho umlingani wakho kanye nani ningena kumodi ye-cheerleader egcwele noma nini lapho omunye wenu ezuza okuthile, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kukhulu noma kuncane kangakanani.
Lolu hlobo lokusekelwa lufana nokuba neqembu labalandeli bakho, isikhumbuzo sokuthi bajabule ngempela ngezinto ozifezile. Umlingani wakho ukholelwa emaphusheni akho ngendlela enamandla njengawe, futhi ukugujwa kwabo kuguqula impumelelo yakho ibe yizikhathi zomlingo enizihlanganyela ndawonye. Yingakho lapho uthando olulodwa lweqiniso lukuthola, kuzwakala kukuhle kakhulu ukuba kube yiqiniso.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Ezinhle Eziyi-9 Zobudlelwano Bothando
6. Amaphutha? Yimaphi amaphutha?
Ebudlelwaneni, ukuba nomlingani okubukayo futhi abone ubuciko kuzo zonke izinhlobo ze-brushstroke, ngisho nalezo ezingase zibonakale zimapeketwane, kuzizwa kumnandi. Bafana nabathandi bobuciko abathanda amaphethini nemibala ehlukile ekwenza ube nawe. Izinkinga zakho nokungapheleli kwakho? Lezo izingxenye ezithakazelisa kakhulu zobuciko bobuciko kubo.
Cabanga ngomlingani wakho elandelela iminwe yakhe ngobumnene phezu kweseyili yobuntu bakho, ebungaza yonke imininingwane emincane ekwenza ube ngomunye wohlobo oluthile. Kufana nokuthi bane-lens yomlingo ebona ubuhle kuphela kuwe. Bathanda ukushaywa nomthunzi ngamunye odala i-mosaic emangalisayo yokuthi ungubani. Lona omunye womehluko phakathi kothando olungenamibandela ngokumelene nothando olunemibandela.
7. Ukuhloniphana ebudlelwaneni kuyinto evamile
Ubuhlobo nothando lothando bungasinda kuzo zonke izinkinga uma abalingani bekwazile ukuthuthukisa inhlonipho komunye nomunye eminyakeni edlule. Ukufunda ukuthandana ngaphandle kwemibandela uma uthukuthele kuyisifundo esijulile ekwakheni ukuhloniphana. Lokhu kuyinzuzo eyisisekelo yothando olungenamibandela. Ngoba ungamthanda kanjani umuntu ngokungenakuguqulwa ngaphandle kokuba nomuzwa wangaphakathi wokuhlonipha umuntu anguye ngaphandle kwemibandela? Ngakho-ke, uma ubuhlobo bakho bunezinto ezilandelayo, kuwuphawu lokuthi nobabili ninenhlonipho engapheli ngomunye nomunye:
- Nihloniphana — Kokubili phambi kwabangane nomndeni, nasendaweni yangasese
- Umbono womunye nomunye uhlale ucatshangelwa
- Nizama ukwanelisa izidingo zomunye nomunye ezingokomzwelo, zezenhlalo, nezingokwenyama
- Akukho ukwephulwa kobumfihlo futhi akukho nokungathembani
- Nobabili niyaluqaphela ulimi olusetshenziswa ngisho naphakathi kwengxabano
- Akekho kini ohlasela ubuthakathaka bomunye
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimfanelo Zobudlelwano Eziyi-11 Okumele Ube Nazo Ukuze Uphile Impilo Ejabulisayo
8. Uthando luyoba khona, noma kuyizolo, namuhla, noma kusasa
Uthando olungenamibandela luyisihambi sesikhathi, esihamba nawe kuzo zonke izahluko zendaba yakho - Lezo esezibhaliwe kakade, lezi ophila manje, nalezo ezilindele ukuzambuleka. Ikhampasi yayo ihlale ikhomba enhliziyweni yomunye.
Lolu thando aluyona nje ingxenye yempilo yakho, kodwa luwumbhali-munye wohambo lwakho, okwenza wonke amakhasi afundeke. Ake sibheke izibonelo zothando ezingenamibandela:
- Wena nilalelaneizindaba zobuntwana sengathi nobabili benikhona empilweni yangempela
- Nibambane ngesandla ngesikhathi samanje sengathi iyona ndawo enifuna ukuba kuyo nobabili
- Uphupha ngekusasa sengathi uhambo olwabiwe
- Nima ndawonye ebuhleni nasebubini bempilo, ninikeza ukusekela nokunakekela
9. Ukuthembela njalo ebudlelwaneni kwenza bube yindawo ephephile
Ebudlelwaneni obunjalo bothando, ukwethembana kuqinile njengedwala , okunikeza ukwesekwa lapho amanzi eba mandundu. Le mibhangqwana inokholo olungenakunyakaziswa ebuntwini nasezinhlosweni zomunye nomunye. Ukuthembana kwayo kwakha intambo ekhazimulayo ehlanganiswe ngokujulile endwangwini yobuhlobo bayo, yakha uxhumano oludlula amagama nje.
Uzakwenu uba yindawo engcwele evikela imicabango yakho ejulile, ngokhiye owaziwa nguwe kuphela. Lokhu kufana nokuba nesiphephelo lapho ubuwena beqiniso buzokhanya khona, lapho ukungaqiniseki nokungabaza kuncibilika ngenxa yokufudumala kokuthembela kwabo okuqinile kuwe.
10. Ukuthanda ngaphandle kwemibandela kusho ukwakha indawo engenakugwetshwa
Ohambweni lwakho lwezothando, cabanga ngesikhala lapho ukwabelana ngemicabango yakho ejulile kuzwakala kukhululekile njengokulala okuzwakalayo. Esikhaleni esinjalo, ubungathi, “Heyi, nakhu okwami konke.” Futhi basabela ngokwanga okuthi, “Uthandwa, njengoba nje unjalo.”
Ngangihlale ngilwa nombuzo othi, “Ingabe uthando olungenamibandela lungokoqobo nhlobo?” Kodwa ngolunye usuku, ngobusuku obubandayo, mina nozakwethu sasihlezi ngasefasiteleni, siphuza ikhofi elishisayo. Njengoba ngikhuluma ngokungabaza kwami nokukhathazeka kwami, walalela, amehlo akhe ethe njo kwawami, sengathi yimina kuphela indaba okufanele izwakale. Akukho okuningi okwashiwo ngamagama kodwa amehlo akhe ayesho phezulu nasobala, “Uthando enginalo ngawe alunamibandela.” Ukungaguquguquki kothando lwakhe kwangenza ngaba ikholwa.
11. Udala indawo yokuthethelela okungenamkhawulo
Cabanga ngokuba sebudlelwaneni bothando lapho amaphutha engabi yizithiyo kodwa abe yizithiyo. Kufana nokuba nomlingani obona amaphutha akho njengengxenye yohambo, hhayi indlela yokuphuma kuwo. Cabanga ukhohlwa usuku olubalulekile ngenxa yesonto lomsebenzi elixakile. Esikhundleni sentukuthelo noma ukudumala , bamane bathi, “Impilo iba matasa, kodwa ubaluleke kakhulu kunokuqomisana.” Kufana nokuba nesikhumbuzo sokuhamba, ukukhuluma sokuthi sonke singabantu futhi ukuphambuka kumane kuyingxenye yohambo.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela Eziyi-13 Zokuqeda Ingxabano Ngaphandle Kokuxolisa Nokuqeda Impi
12. Uthando lusiza bobabili abalingani bakhule
Ake ucabange unomuntu empilweni yakho ofana nozakwethu okhulayo, ohamba eduze kwakho endleleni yokuzithuthukisa. Babambe ithoshi njengoba uhlola indawo engaziwa yamaphupho akho. Ake sithi unquma ukufunda ikhono elisha, njengokudweba. Abagcini nje ngokukujabulisa kodwa bangase bazithathele ibhulashi ngokwabo.
Lolu hlobo lobudlelwano lufana nendawo yokugcina izifiso zakho, lapho isikhuthazo sabo sisiza khona imigomo yakho ichume. Kufana nokuthi, “ Ukukhula kwakho kubalulekile, ” futhi ukuzibandakanya kwabo kuguqula yonke ingqophamlando ibe impumelelo ehlanganyelwe. Njengoba lobu budlelwano buseduze nawe, izinselele ziphenduka amathuba okufunda, futhi izifiso ziphenduka impumelelo, njengoba nobabili nihamba nibheke ekuzithuthukiseni ndawonye.
"Ngabe ngiyamthanda umuntu ngaphandle kwemibandela?" - Thatha le mibuzo ukuze uthole
Manje njengoba sesifana ngokuthi uthando olungenamibandela luyini ebudlelwaneni futhi sesidlule ezimpawini zalo, ake sibone ukuthi imizwa yakho ngomuntu iyakufanelekela yini ukuthola lelo gama. Akudingeki ukuthi ube nobudlelwano bothando naye. Kodwa uma uthando lwakho luyiqiniso, akukho mibandela okufanele ibe yinto ekhathazayo.
Le mibuzo iyindlela esheshayo yokuqinisekisa imizwa yakho futhi uxazulule uthando lwakho olungenamibandela ngokumelene nempikiswano yothando enemibandela. Uma impendulo yakho okungenani kweziyisithupha zalokhu inguyebo, uyingxenye yesizwe sothando esingenamibandela:
- Ulungile ngeqiniso lokuthi abayena umlingani wakho futhi bangase bahambe empilweni yakho ngelinye ilanga. Yebo Cha
- Uthandana nomphefumulo wabo, hhayi nje izici zabo zomzimba. Yebo Cha
- Awukwazi ukubathukuthelela isikhathi eside, futhi ugcine usubaxolela noma ngabe kwenzekani. Yebo Cha
- Awukaze uziqhathanise nanoma ubani. Yebo Cha
- Awucabangi kabili ngaphambi kokukhansela ukusebenzelana okubalulekile uma bekushayela ucingo ngesimo esiphuthumayo. Yebo Cha
- Engqondweni yakho, ubona ikusasa elide nelijabulisayo kanye nabo. Yebo Cha
- Uyajabula nje ngokuba uhlelo lwabo lokusekela. Yebo Cha
- Ziyindawo yakho yokunethezeka futhi ungakwazi ukuzivulela kalula. Yebo Cha
- Ayikho into ekwenza ujabule futhi uziqhenye njengokubona bephumelela. Yebo Cha
- Awumi endleleni yabo noma ungavumelani nabo ezindabeni ezithile. Yebo Cha
Ungalukhombisa Kanjani Uthando Olungenamibandela - Okwenziwa Nokungamelwe Ukwenze
“Ngiyakuthanda ngaphandle kwemibandela” – kuyisitatimende esiqinile, esilula ukukusho kunokukwenza. Ukuhlakulela amandla othando olungenamibandela lapho othile ekuzwisa ubuhlungu kuwuhambo lozwelo. Nokho, akusho ukuphika noma ukuzikhaphela. Ukulahlekelwa ubuwena, izwi, nokuzihlonipha ngenkathi unikeza ukunaka okuhlukene nothando ngeke kube yinzuzo kunoma ibuphi ubuhlobo noma umuntu ophelelwe uthando. Khumbula, uthando olungenamibandela alukona ukubekezelelana okungenamibandela.
Naphezu kwalokho inhliziyo yakho ekufisayo, ukulandela amasu ambalwa kuzokusiza uhlale uphilile futhi uphile kahle nomlingani wakho ikakhulukazi ngoba ngalolu hlobo lothando olunesihawu, singabhekana nokulindela okungenakwenzeka. Nazi ezinye izinto okufanele uzenze nokungafanele uzikhumbule ukuze ungazilahli enkambisweni yokuthanda omunye umuntu ngaphandle kwemibandela :
| Amabili | Ungenzi |
| 1. Zijwayeze indlela yokuxhumana esobala nevulekile | 1. Ungazinaki izinkinga eziwumsuka ezikubangela ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni ngenxa yothando |
| 2. Yazisa isithandwa sakho ukuthi uyoba khona ngezinsuku ezimnandi nezimbi, akukho ntambo | 2. Ungakhohlwa ngemingcele enempilo noma ungayinaki eyakho izidingo ezingokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni |
| 3. Qinisekisa ukuthi amandla aguquguqukayo ebudlelwaneni ayalingana | 3. Uthando olungenamibandela alukwazi ukuba yisizathu sokubekezelela ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba noma ngokwengqondo |
| 4. Khumbula, ungamgxeka umlingani wakho uma kudingeka ngaphandle kokumdelela | 4. Akudingeki ukuba uvumelane ngobumpumputhe nakho konke abakushoyo ukuze ubonise uthando lwakho olungapheli |
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Amaqiniso angu-30 ½ Ngothando Ongasoze Walushaya indiva
Izikhombi Ezibalulekile
- Uthando olungenamibandela ebudlelwaneni kusho ukuthanda umuntu akukho zintambo ezinamathiselwe, ngaphandle noma yimiphi imishwana noma imikhawulo yesikhathi, okuphambene nothando olunemibandela
- Lo muntu uzoba phambili kuwe ngaso sonke isikhathi
- Awumi endleleni yabo yenjabulo noma izinqumo zabo zomuntu siqu
- Kodwa-ke, akekho okufanele ahlupheke athule lapho ebhekene nokuhlukunyezwa noma ukululazwa ngoba nje kuvela kumuntu amthandayo ngaphandle kwemibandela.
Ngeke sihlele ukuwela ngokungenathemba komunye umuntu noma silinde empilweni sifuna uthando olungenamibandela. Singathemba kuphela ukulukhulisa lolu thando ngokunakekela lapho kufika ngokungqongqoza emnyango wethu. Uma unemizwa eyeqisayo ngalo muntu, ungayigcini imfihlo. Ayikho into enhle njengokuzwa lawo mazwi amathathu othandweni lwempilo yakho. Ekugcineni, sithemba ukuthi ezindaweni ezingalindelekile nezikhathi, uzothola uthando olungenamibandela luqhakaza buthule, lulindele ukutholwa.
Izinto Ezingu-10 Ezihlanyayo Abantu Abazenzayo Uma Besothandweni
Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.


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