Me pēhea te tūpato ki ngā tohu kino o te whanaungatanga - e kī ana te tohunga ki a koe

Mō te wahine, he uaua te whiriwhiri i te tāne tika māna ake – nā te mea he maha ngā paearu whiriwhiri, ā, he rerekē hoki. I ētahi wā, he māmā ake te mōhio ki ngā mea kāore e hiahiatia ana e te tangata, kaua e tino kitea te mea e hiahiatia ana e te tangata – mai i tētahi whanaungatanga. Hei mōhio ki ngā mea kāore e hiahiatia ana e koe, me titiro tonu ō kanohi me ō taringa ki te mea e hiahiatia ana e koe. hononga whero haki ka taea te whakaatu he ngā kaiwhakakore whakaaetanga.

Me pēhea e taea ai e te wahine te kī māia mēnā he 'kaitiaki' pono te tāne e piri tahi ana rāua? Heoi anō, e hia ngā 'whāinga' ka taea e tēnei kaitiaki te penapena me te whakatutuki? Ko wai kei te pupuri i te kaute? I te nuinga o te wā, he tangata kei te whakatau i te kaute.

I te mea ka uaua pea ngā whiringa, ā, ka rite te rapunga mō 'Mr. Right' ki tētahi kiriata whakahihiri whakarihariha, he mea pai kia whai aratohu whai hua i mua i te whakatau pono ki tētahi tāne.

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He mea whakahihiri ngā whanaungatanga nā te kaha o te whanaungatanga, engari he maha ngā wā ka pāngia e te wehi me te pouri – nā te pouri ka pā mai. Kāore i te maha ngā kupu whakapati i muri i te rerenga kōrero 'He… ngā tāne katoa'.

He maha ngā wā e whakaatu ana taua pouri i te kawa e pā ana ki ētahi wāhine i a rātou e ngaro ana i a rātou e ngana ana ki te rapu i te ao awhiowhio, me ētahi wā ko te awhiowhio whakamate e kiia nei ko te aroha. Mēnā koinei te āhua, he mea whakaaro nui kia kaua e wareware ki ngā haki whero i roto i tētahi hononga ki tētahi tāne ka taea te whakararu i te whakaaetanga.

He aha te haki whero i roto i te whanaungatanga?

Ko te haki whero o te whanaungatanga he tohu mō ngā whanonga a te tangata e whakaatu ana i te wā kei te heke mai ka whakaatu pea ia i te mahi kino, i te mahi nanakia rānei. te whakahaere i te whanonga.

He tohu anō hoki te korenga o te tikanga pai, te aroha me te ngākau atawhai o te tangata, ā, ka pā tēnei ki tō whanaungatanga ki a ia. He maha ngā wā ka warewarehia ngā tohu kino o te whanaungatanga ki te tāne e ngā wāhine nā te mea e hiahia ana rātou ki te titiro ki te tirohanga whānui, tae atu ki te angitu, te taonga, te āhua me tana whatunga.

Engari ko ngā tohu kino ēnei ka taea te arahi ki ngā raruraru i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, ā, ki te kore e arohia, ka ara ake pea he pānga kino.

I roto i tā rātou whanaungatanga ki ngā tāne, he tokomaha e hiahia ana ki te wareware i ngā tohu kino, ki taku whakaaro, koinei te hapa nui rawa atu ka taea e te tangata te mahi.

He pai ake te whakarongo ki ngā tohu ārai i mua i te tomuri rawa. He aha te mea e takahi ana i te whakaaetanga whanaungatanga? I ētahi wā he ngawari noa iho ngā tohu ārai, ā, ki te mea kotahi, e rua rānei kei te noho, ka taea tonu e koe te whakahaere i aua tohu. Engari kei te karanga ētahi tohu ārai i roto i tō kanohi me wawahi e koe te whanaungatanga, tae atu ki whakamutua te taumau mēnā e tika ana. Koinei ngā mea e whakakore ana i te whanaungatanga.

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Me pēhea te tūpato ki ngā tohu whero o te whanaungatanga

Ehara i te mea onge te whakahē a ngā wāhine i ngā 'kōwhiringa' kei reira. Heoi, ki te noho mataara tonu ia ki ngā ngā haki whero i te wā e whiriwhiri ana i tētahi tāne, ka pai ake te mōhiotanga o te rapu i tētahi hononga pumau. Ina noho tahi koe me tētahi wahine, rapua ngā haki whero i roto i te whanaungatanga me te wahine hoki. Kāore ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e aro ki ngā tohu ārai whanaungatanga me ngā mea e takahi ana i ngā whakaritenga.

E rua meneti te roa e pau ana i te tangata noa ki te whiriwhiri i te reka aihikirīmi e hiahiatia ana, ā, kei te ruarua ia mēnā he koeke, he kapu rānei.

Ki te mea he tino whiriwhiri tātou mō tētahi mea ka kai tātou, ā, ka wareware noa iho, kāore ianei e tika kia kitea he momo whiriwhiri mō tētahi tangata e noho tahi ana tātou mō te neke atu i te haurua o tō oranga? Koia te mea nui kia mōhio tonu koe ki ngā tohu whakatūpato o te whanaungatanga.

Me te maumahara ki tēnā, anei te rārangi o ngā mea e waru hei whakakore i te whakaaetanga whanaungatanga hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau ki te whakamutu i te hononga aroha, ki te whakaaro rānei ki te whakamutu i te hononga ki tētahi tāne. Koinei ngā tohu tino kino o te whanaungatanga.

1. Kāore ia e whakaute ana i te hunga e mahi ana ki a ia

He tohu kino tēnei mō te whanaungatanga, ki te kitea i te wā tika, ka taea e koe te whakaora i a koe i te pouri ā muri ake nei. I tō kōrua rā tuatahi, tirohia noa tana whanonga ki te kaimahi.

Ki te mea he pakeke, he kōrero pōturi, he wairua kino, he kaitukino ki ngā kaimahi, ki ana kaimahi, ki ana kaimahi me tōna whānau, he tohu pono tēnei kei te noho tahi koe me tētahi tangata whakatoi.

I te pakeketanga, ā, i ētahi wā nā ngā āhuatanga rerekē o te ao, he nui te tūponotanga ka nui haere tōna riri me tōna pukuriri. Nō reira, he āpōpō tēnei e noho tonu ai koe te mahi tahi me te tāne riri.

Ka kaha te riri ki te whakahaere. Mā wai e mōhio? Tērā pea ka huri ia i muri i tōna mamae nui, engari kei te whakaaro koe kia tatari kia puta rā anō tēnā, kia kore rānei e puta?

2. He rerekē āna ture mōu, mōna hoki

He mea noa te kitea o ngā paerewa takirua i roto i ngā whanaungatanga. He mea whakapouri te noho tahi me te hoa e hiahia ana kia manaakitia ia engari kāore e aro ki ngā hiahia o tana hoa.

Hei tauira, ina waea atu ia ki ana hoa, nā te mea me hono atu ia ki ngā tama, ā, ki te waea atu koe ki tō rōpū kōtiro, kei te moumou taima koe, kei te kore aro atu ki a ia. He mea rerekē, kāore? Kāore e taea te whiriwhiri i te tika. He tohu kino tēnei mō te whanaungatanga, ā, he mea hoki e kore e taea te wareware.

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3. Kāore ia e whakanui ana i te hunga e whai tikanga ana ki a koe

Ki te mea kei te kōrero tātou mō te mōhio ki ngā tohu kino i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, he tohu tēnei. E whakahē ana ia i te hunga kua āwhina i a koe ki te hanga, ki te tautoko rānei i tō haerenga ora.

Tērā pea ka titiro pōuri ia ki a rātou, ā, he mea noa iho rātou, kāore he kiko. E whakaiti ana ia i a koe i tēnei ara. He tohu tino kino tēnei mō te whanaungatanga hei tūpato.

Tērā pea kei te kite ia i a rātou he whakataetae, kaua he hoa mahi hei pupuri i a koe kia hono tonu ki ō pūtake, kia harikoa ai koe? Tērā pea e hiahia ana ia kia noho ko koe anake. Tērā pea kāore ia i te pai ki te nui atu o ō hoa i a ia. Ko ēhea taura e hiahia ana koe kia motuhia?

4. Ka akiaki ia i a koe kia waiho māna anake e whakahaere te moni katoa

Ko te moni te mea pai rawa atu i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga mahi tahi, mārama hoki, kia roa ai te wā e hanga ana i te whakawhirinaki. He maha ngā wā ka whakamahia te moni hei tohu mō te mana me te whakahaere i roto i ngā whanaungatanga. Nō reira, kei a koe te mana motuhake i te taha pūtea engari kāore he herekoretanga.

He kaupapa wera ngā whāinga pūtea ā-iwi, ā-whare hoki, ā, me whiriwhiri tahi. Ki te kore ia e kite i a koe hei kaiuru ki tētahi mahi whakamahere me te whakatau kaupapa nui pēnei, me pēhea tana titiro ki a koe? He tohu kino tēnei, ā, he mea hoki e takahi ana i te whakaaetanga whanaungatanga.

5. He tangata whakahāwea ira tangata, he tangata whakahāwea wahine rānei ia

Ko te tāne he toki hei whawhai ki ngā wāhine, ka mahi ia i runga i te whakaaro whānui, ā, he maha ngā wā he whanoke, he uaua ki te whakaaro, nā te mea ko ngā tauira 'rangatiratanga me te ititanga' te mea e whakaatu ana i te huarahi e kite ai rātou i ngā mea katoa. Tērā pea i whakahaerehia ia e te wahine i tōna tamarikitanga, i a ia nga matua paitini tērā pea ko tana whakakorenga i ngā wāhine he tohu mō tana kitenga i a rātou 'i waho atu i tōna taea'.

Tērā pea i kino te mahi a tōna pāpā ki tōna whaea, ā, kāore i te pai āna tauira? Tērā pea kei te whakaaro ia he pai ake ia i ngā wāhine? Mā wai e mōhio? Engari he tohu kino ēnei mō te whanaungatanga ka huri hei take e kore ai e whakaaetia.

6. E whakarihariha ana ō hoa me tō whānau ki a ia

He uaua pea tēnei ki te 'whakamarie i ngā taha katoa' engari he tohu kino tēnei mō te whanaungatanga kāore e taea te wareware. Kāore e kore, tera pea he mahere a te hunga e tata ana ki a koe māu e rerekē ana i ō mahere whaiaro.

Heoi, he mea nui i ētahi wā kia whakaarohia ngā tirohanga taurite, pakeke hoki o te hunga e manaaki ana i a koe, nā te mea he maha ngā wā ka mōhio rātou ki ō whanonga pāpori, ā, he pānga anō hoki ki tō oranga ngākau.

Kāore e taea e rātou te tika i ngā wā katoa, engari kāore hoki e taea e rātou te hē i ngā wā katoa. Ki te mea kei te āwangawanga rātou mōu, tera pea ētahi e kī ana he whakaaro pōhēhē, he tino tiaki rānei rātou, engari me pēhea mēnā kei te huna e koe ō rātou kanohi ki tētahi mea? Kāore ngā whakaaro huritao e ma i ngā wā katoa.

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7. E whakakahore ana ia i ō kare ā-roto he pono

Ki te kite ia i a koe he tangata e whakanui ana i te raruraru, he tangata rānei kāore e taea te whakaaro nui, ko tō kaha ki te whakaaro noa iho kei te pātaihia. He āhuatanga uaua tēnei.

Tērā pea kāore ia e aro ki ō hiahia kare ā-roto nā te mea ka ngana tonu ia ki te whakaatu ki a koe kāore koe e rongo ana i tāu e kī nei, e 'tauhohe nui rawa ana' rānei. Kāore ia e whakapau kaha ki te hanga hononga piripono ā-hinengaro.

He tino nanakia, he tino whakaititia hoki te tangata e te whakahē i a ia mō ngā kare ā-roto katoa, te whakapae rānei mō te 'whakaari' i ōna hiahia pono. He aha te āhua o tēnā? He tohu kino tēnei mō te whanaungatanga, kāore e taea te wareware, ā, tera pea ka huri hei mea kino rawa atu hei takahi i te whakaaetanga.

8. He teka tonu tāna ki a koe

Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe kei te tinihanga ia mō ana e hiahia ana, e kare ā-roto rānei i ia wā, he tika tonu tāu whakapae kei reira tetahi mea kāore ia e hiahia kia mōhio koe.

He aha tāna e ngana ana ki te mawhiti atu, ki te mawhiti atu rānei? He uaua ki te kī. Ki te kore he whakawhirinaki me te whakaute, ka pāngia ngā whanaungatanga katoa. He aha tāna e ngana ana ki te huna i a koe? He waranga ki ngā kiriata pōrangi? He moe tāne? He whakatau moni hē? He mahi whanoke? He mahi taihara?

Tērā pea ka tere ake te matotoru o te kōrero i tō mōhiotanga ki te āhuatanga. Ki te mea te whakarerekētanga o ngā māramatanga me ngā whanonga hē, pātai atu ki a koe anō mēnā kei a ia koe hei hoa noho, hei mahi pirihimana, hei kaipahua rānei.

Ki te whai koe take whakawhirinaki kāti ka wiri te turanga o tō kōrua whanaungatanga.

Ko te pātai tonu tēnei: ​​Me tatari rānei kia totohu te kaipuke, me rapu rānei i tētahi poti whakaora i mua i te wā? Ahakoa pēhea, he pai ake te mōhio ki te kauhoe. Kāore e taea e te tangata te tino mōhio ki te ao, ki te aroha rānei. He maha rawa ngā āhuatanga e pā ana. Heoi anō, mā te pātai i ngā pātai e tika ana ki a kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira ka āwhina i a kōrua ki te hanga tahi i tētahi mea pono, ngākau nui hoki.

Ka haere tonu te ao i runga i te mahere kua whakaritea? Kāore e taea e koe te mōhio i mua. Heoi, me aha koe hei ārai i te whakapae, te tinihanga, te mauahara me te nanakia i roto i tō ao? Ā, ka taea anake tēnei ina tūpato koe ki ngā tohu ārai o te whanaungatanga ka huri hei take mō te takahi i ngā whakaritenga.

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