E whai hua ana ngā whanaungatanga tawhiti? He pātai uaua tēnei mō ngā whanaungatanga, kāore e taea te whakautu tika atu i te 'āe', 'kāo' rānei. Mō te mahi, te pakihi, te neke whānau rānei – ahakoa te take, tata ki ngā tokorua katoa o tēnei tau ka tūtaki ki te āwhā o te tawhiti i tētahi wā, i tētahi wā rānei. Ko te mea nui ko te whānuitanga o tēnei wehenga, i runga i te wāhi me te wā, me te hiahia o te tokorua kia noho tahi.
Ko ngā hoa rangatira he manawanui, he kaha hoki ki te pupuri i te whakapono me ngā kare ā-roto e ora tonu ana, ka tere tonu i roto i ngā arai o te tawhiti tinana, ā, ka puta mai he tokorua kāore he whara. I tētahi atu taha, ko ētahi tokorua kāore e hiahia ki te taumahatanga o ngā raruraru whanaungatanga tawhiti, ā, ka mutu te whakapā atu i mua i te tīmatanga o te hekenga o ngā mea.
Ahakoa he tika pea tēnei mai i te tirohanga mahi, kāore e taea te wareware i ngā tini āhuatanga ka taea e te whanaungatanga tawhiti te angitū whakamua. E ai ki tētahi rangahau i whakaputaina i roto i te New York Post , tata ki te 60% te angitu o ngā whanaungatanga LDR. He tatauranga whakatenatena tēnei. Heoi anō, kei te noho tātou i tētahi ao iti haere – nā te hangarau katoa. Nā ngā taputapu hangarau matatau, ngā pāpāho pāpori, me ngā taupānga whakaipoipo e kore ai e whai pānga te wāhi whenua ki a tātou, he aha te uaua o te hono atu ki ō hoa aroha?
Ahakoa rā, he tino mamae te ora tonu i roto i te LDR i te wā roa, ā, e tino mōhio ana ahau kei konei koe me te maha o ngā pātai. Āe, koinā te take e rua ai māua! Hei kimi i ngā whakautu me te rapu tohutohu mō te whanaungatanga tawhiti, i tahuri mātou ki te kaiwhakaora hinengaro a Gopa Khan (Masters in Counseling Psychology, M.Ed), he tohunga ki te tohutohu mō te marena me te whānau.
He pai te whanaungatanga tawhiti?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Kāore mātou e huna i tēnei mōu. Ahakoa ngā tatauranga whakatenatena, he uaua te mahi hei whakapūmau i te whanaungatanga tawhiti. E ai ki tētahi rangahau , tata ki te haurua o ngā hoa LDR ka pā ki te wehenga whenua, ko te haurua ia ka mutu te whanaungatanga i tēnei wā. Hei tāpiri atu ki tēnā, ko te hautoru o te rōpū tuatahi ka wehe i roto i ngā marama e toru i muri i te tūtaki anō.
Āe, ehara mātou i konei hei whakararuraru i a koe. Nā wai rā i kī me noho koe hei tatauranga anō? Kei te taraiwa koe i tō whanaungatanga, ā, māu anō e whakatau ko tēhea te huarahi hei huri i tēnei wā uaua. E ai ki tā mātou kōrero, ko te wā, te tawhiti, me te kaha matua o te whanaungatanga ka noho hei take whakatau i muri i te maha o ngā wehenga whanaungatanga tawhiti. Kia hohonu ake tā tātou keri kia kite me pēhea e taea ai e koe te whakatau i ēnei arai i runga i tō wairua:
- Wā: Ina mōhio te tokorua ka wehe atu rāua tetahi i tetahi, engari mō ētahi marama, mō ētahi tau rānei, kaua e aro ki ngā whakaaro mō te wehenga, ka ngana rāua ki te kimi huarahi hei whakapai ake i te whanaungatanga. whakawhitiwhitinga tawhitiKo te rā mutunga kei te kitea e akiaki ana i a rātou kia noho pai i roto i tēnei wā
- Te tawhiti: I neke taku hoa ki NYC mai i Rhode Island i a ia e tohu ana i te whare wānanga. Engari i pai tonu rāua ko tana hoa wahine mō ngā tau e toru nā te mea kotahi noa te haora o te rerenga rererangi. I haere tahi rāua ki te tūtaki i ngā mutunga wiki, i noho tahi i ngā hararei, i tuku putiputi i ngā wā motuhake, ā, i kaha ki te pupuri i ngā kare ā-roto kino. Ka taea hoki e koe te pupuri i ngā whanaungatanga aroha kia ora tonu mēnā kāore i te tino tawhiti.
- Te hononga i waenganui i a koe me tō hoa rangatira: He hoa aroha kura tuarua ā mātou kaipānui o Ohio, a Ashley rāua ko Ben, ā, tata kore rawa e taea te wehe. I te taenga mai o te wā me wehe atu a Ashley ki Parani ki te whakatutuki i ana moemoeā toi, kāore a Ben i arai i a ia. Kāore i whakaritea he wā mō te wā ka hoki tahi anō rāua, engari i whakatau rāua kia angitu tēnei, me te whakatika i te rerekētanga o te wā, te korenga o te whanaungatanga ā-tinana, me ētahi atu raruraru whanaungatanga tawhiti.
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I pātai mātou ki tā mātou tohunga, "Ka taea e te whanaungatanga tawhiti te mahi?" ā, e kī ana a Gopa , "Mai i taku tirohanga tawhito, ki taku whakaaro ko te whanaungatanga tawhiti te mea e ngoikore ai te turanga o te nuinga o ngā whanaungatanga. He kiritaki tāku, ā, i whakakahoretia e tana hoa tawhiti te marena i muri i ngā tau e waru! Waihoki, kāore te whanaungatanga tawhiti ipurangi e tino kaha.
"E mano māero te tawhiti o tō kōrua noho tetahi i tetahi, ā, he torutoru noa ngā wā ka tūtaki kanohi ki te kanohi. Me pēhea kōrua e mōhio ai mēnā he hototahi kōrua tetahi ki tetahi mēnā kāore kōrua e noho tahi mō te wā roa? He pai rānei ngā whanaungatanga tawhiti? Ae, kāore au e kōrero whānui ana, e kī ana ka hinga katoa. Kei te tautuhi anō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine o te ao hou i te ariā o te whakaipoipo tawhiti, ā, kei te rere atu i roto i taua ara."
"Kei te nui o te kaha e hiahia ana koe ki te whakapau ki tēnei whanaungatanga. Ka whakapau kaha ētahi ki te pana i te aroha ki roto i tētahi whanaungatanga tawhiti-roa o te ao , kia koa ai rātou ahakoa te tawhiti. Kei te pakeketanga hoki o te tokorua, nā te mea kua kite ahau i te tangata e ora ana i ngā whanaungatanga tawhiti-roa mō ngā tau maha, e whakatipu ana i ngā tamariki i roto i te tukanga, e tiaki ana i ngā mātua e mate ana, e whakatutuki ana i ā rātou kawenga katoa."
He aha te kore e whai hua ai ngā whanaungatanga tawhiti-roa
Ka haere koe ki ō hoa e rapu ana i ngā tohutohu mō te whanaungatanga tawhiti, ā, ko tā rātou urupare tuatahi pea ko, "Kaua e uru ki tēnei raruraru. Kāore e angitu ngā whanaungatanga tawhiti." Nā te mea kei Bonobology koe, e hiahia ana mātou ki te tuku atu i tētahi mea ehara i te tino ngākau kore mō te āheinga ki te whai i tētahi heke mai me tō hoa tawhiti. Ki tā mātou he mea tika kia puritia tō hoa, koia koe i konei, e ngana ana ki te whakaaro me pēhea te pupuri i tētahi whanaungatanga ipurangi.
He aha koe te hoki whakamuri ai, ka tirotiro i ngā ngoikoretanga o te whanaungatanga tawhiti-roa i mua i te whakakore i te whakaaro katoa? Mena kei a koe te māramatanga pai ki ngā hapa e mahia ana e ngā tāne me ngā wāhine i roto i te whanaungatanga tawhiti-roa , ka mōhio koe ki ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi rerekē hei pupuri i tōu whanaungatanga kia kaha tonu. E kōrero ana a Gopa mō ngā take nui e whā hei whakaaro, e akiaki ana i te nuinga o ngā whanaungatanga tawhiti-roa ki raro i te rua rāpeti:
1. Kāore koe e mōhio ki te tangata tūturu
E ai ki tētahi rangahau a te Pew Research Center , e 34% o ngā Amerikana i roto i tētahi hononga pumau, ā, kua whakamahi hoki i ngā taupānga whakaipoipo ipurangi i mua, i kī mai kua tūtaki rātou ki tā rātou hoa i runga ipurangi. Engari, ka whai hua tonu ngā hononga tawhiti mō te wā roa? Āe, ehara i te mea tauhou te aroha me te hinga ki tētahi tangata ahakoa kei ngā tāone/whenua rerekē te noho, ā, he tino rerekē hoki te āhua noho.
Ka ngana ngā tāne me ngā wāhine i roto i ngā āhuatanga ōrite ki te hono tonu mā te waea, mā te tuku karere rānei. Ko te huarahi e tata ana ki te kite i a rātou i runga i tō rātou whenua ko te waea ataata e whakaritea ana kia rite ki tō hiahia. Nō reira, kei a koe te whai wāhi ki te ātaahua me te noho i roto i ō whanonga pai rawa atu i tēnei wā, i te mea kei a koe te mana ki te hoki ki tō āhua/tō oranga o ia rā i muri tata mai.
He pai te āhua o ngā mea katoa mēnā ka kōrero tahi kōrua, ka whakaae hoki ki ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e tō hoa, nā te mea kāore kōrua e hiahia kia tutuki i a kōrua aua tumanakohanga mai i tawhiti. Ka puta te raruraru ina tīmata kōrua ki te noho tahi me taua tangata, ina tūtaki pinepine rānei ki a ia. Ka puta he whakaaro whakamataku kāore rāua i rite ki te tangata o mua i tērā taha o te mata. He mea tino tupu tēnei i roto i tētahi hononga i tīmata, i haere tonu rānei mō te wā roa hei LDR.
2. Ka patua e te kore haumaru te maha o ngā whanaungatanga tawhiti
Ko te koretake o te whanaungatanga tētahi o ngā raruraru nui rawa atu o te whanaungatanga tawhiti . Ka nui ake te kitea o tēnei āhuatanga mēnā he momo piripono koretake tō tētahi o ngā hoa. Mā te kore e kite i tō hoa mō te wā roa, me te kore e mōhio kei hea rātou ka puta ai tētahi o ngā kare ā-roto taketake o te tangata – arā, te hae.
Kāore pea he mea hei āwangawanga māu. Tērā pea kei te ngaro tō hoa i a koe i ia hēkona o ia rā. Engari ka tīmata tō hinengaro pōuri ki te whakaaro i ngā āhuatanga e pā ana ki a ia e kore e pono ki a koe. Ā, i te mutunga, ko ngā take whakawhirinaki, ngā kare ā-roto kino, me ngā kare ā-roto e memeha haere ana, ā, i te mutunga, ka pā kino ki tō kōrua hononga.
E kī ana a Gopa, "He kiritaki tāku i haereere ki tāwāhi mō ngā mahi pakihi. I a ia e waea atu ana ki tana wahine, e noho ana i te kāinga, ka pātai ia, "Kei hea koe?... Whakahokia te aroturuki ki tō waea... I hea koe i haere ai?... Ko wai taua tangata kei a koe i roto i te pikitia?... Āe, kei te ngahau koe i a koe kāore au?" me ērā atu mea. Ahakoa i te tāone kotahi rāua, i whakaatu ia i tēnei āhua koretake, ā, he tino uaua ki a rāua te noho tahi i ētahi wā."
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3. Te tūponotanga o te kore whakapono
E whai hua ana ngā whanaungatanga tawhiti? Ki te kore, he aha ai? Ina tirohia ngā take o te hinganga o te nuinga o ngā whanaungatanga LDR, ka puta te ngāwari o te kotiti ke hei kaupapa e puta tonu ana. He tino mōrearea te tinihanga i roto i te whanaungatanga tawhiti . Kei tawhiti atu tō hoa i a koe mō ngā rā maha; kei te ngaro rātou i te pā tinana; kei te ngaro rātou i te whakapuaki i ō rātou piki me ngā hekenga kare ā-roto ki tētahi.
I te taenga mai o te mokemoke, ka rapua e rātou he whakamarie ōrite i roto i tētahi hoa hou e tata ana ki a rātou. Ā, ka uaua ki a rātou te aromatawai i ngā hua o ā rātou mahi nā te mea, i roto i ō rātou hinengaro, ko tō rātou ake oranga anake tā rātou e tiaki nei. Nō reira, ki te mea kei te mataku koe mō te oranga tonutanga i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga tawhiti, ehara i te mea kāore he take o ō āwangawanga. Me whai taumata pakeke kua tino whanakehia, he māramatanga nui i waenga i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine, me tētahi turanga pakari kia angitu ai aua whanaungatanga.
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4. He tino pāngia te oranga moepuku
He maha ngā wehenga o ngā hononga tawhiti ka puta mai i te korenga o te whanaungatanga piripono. I ētahi wā ka āwhina te mahi mā te moepuku i roto i te hononga tawhiti . Engari ka taea anake te pupuri i a kōrua kia hono tonu ki te tīmatanga ina taea tonu e kōrua te maumahara me te rongo i te pā o tetahi ki tetahi ahakoa kāore kōrua i te wāhi kotahi. Mā te āta haere, ka tīmata te kēmu ngaro-i-te-kite-i-te-hinengaro ki te takaro i tana wāhanga, ā, ka memeha haere te hiahia me te hiahia.
Ka aro tetahi, tetahi rānei o ngā hoa e rua ki ētahi atu tāngata, ā, ka wehe kē atu rāua i te roanga o te wā. Ina tīmata hoki kōrua ki te whakaipoipo ipurangi, ā, kāore i te tūtaki mō ngā marama, kāore pea koe e mōhio mēnā kei te hototahi kōrua i te taha o te ira tangata. Nō reira, ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe, "Me pēhea te mahi a ngā whanaungatanga tawhiti?", ka taea tēnei ina he kaha te hononga kare ā-roto o te tokorua ki te wikitoria i tēnei wā moe moe.
Me pēhea te whai hua i tētahi whanaungatanga tawhiti? 8 Ngā Tohutohu
Kāore koe e hiahia ki te tuku i ngā kupu whakarite pēnei i te "kāore e mahi ngā whanaungatanga tawhiti" kia arai i te whai wāhitanga ki te pupuri i tō hononga ki tō hoa rangatira kia haumaru, kia ora tonu ahakoa te tawhiti. Ko te Bonobology he titiro ki te taha pai, inā koa ka tae ki te pupuri i te tokorua kia noho tahi. Me ētahi tohutohu whai hua mō ngā whanaungatanga tawhiti mai i a Gopa, ka kawea atu e mātou ēnei tohutohu e 8 e tino whai hua ana ki te whakaora i tō LDR:
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1. Whakamahia te hangarau mō te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tawhiti
Kāore e taea te whakakorekore he māmā ake te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i ēnei rā me te nui o ngā taputapu me ngā papaaho matihiko e wātea ana ki a tātou. Ko tā mātou anake he whakamahi pai i tēnei mea, kia whai hua ai hoki. E kī ana tētahi tuhinga a te Gottman Institute e 20 ngā wā ka nui ake te tahuritanga o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine harikoa ki tā rātou hoa mō ngā kōrero auau, kāore he pakanga, i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e pāngia ana e te raruraru. Nō reira, anei tāu whakautu ki te pātai me pēhea te pupuri i tētahi whanaungatanga ipurangi:
- Ngāna ki te waea atu i ia pō, i ia ata rānei
- I runga i te pukumahi o tō rārangi mahi, me te rerekētanga pea o ngā wā, kimihia te wā tika hei kōrero māu i te wā wātea, me te ngana ki te piri ki taua rārangi mahi.
- Ka tūtohu mātou kia waea ataata mā te waea, mā te īmēra rānei, engari tirohia te mea e pai ana māu.
- Kia ngāwari, kia mārama hoki ō āwangawanga me ō tumanakohanga. Mā tēnei ka whakaitihia ngā māramatanga kore e mārama.
- Kia kaha ki te pupuri i te aroha. Tuku karere kuputuhi, taatai waea, takaro tahanga i runga i te waea ataata – whiriwhiria tāu e pai ai, ka haere tonu!
I a koe e kōrero ana mō te kore e taea e te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero anake te whakaoti i ō raruraru katoa, me tiaki hoki e koe te kounga o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero e whakatūria ana e koe, i kōrero a Geetarsh Kaur , te kaiako whakaipoipo , ki a Bonobology, "E whā ngā T o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero: te wā, te reo, te tikanga, me te pono. Me tino tupato koe ki tāu whiriwhiri kupu me te reo e whakamahia ana e koe. Ngāna ki te aromatawai i te wairua o tō hoa i runga i te āhua o tā rātou whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ki a koe, ā, rapua te pūtake o te mea pea i uru ai rātou ki tēnei wairua."
2. He mea nui te whakaute i te wāhi whaiaro
Ka taea te whai hua i roto i te ao whānui o te whanaungatanga tawhiti? Ka taea tonu mēnā ka hoatu e ngā hoa e rua te wāhi e hiahiatia ana. Ina hoki mai tō hoa ki te kāinga me te ngenge i te pō, ā, kei te ara ake koe i taua wā, kaua e riri mēnā kāore i a rāua te kaha e rite ana ki te harikoa i roto i te kōrerorero ataata. Ki te haere rāua ki tētahi pāti, kaua e tono kia noho waea tonu rāua, kia whakapuaki tonu rānei i ngā whakahoutanga me ngā pikitia. Ka taea e ngā tumanakohanga koretake te whakangaro i ngā whanaungatanga.
Me tuku rātou kia noho tahi, me te noho tahi i tō oranga. Kimihia he mahi whakangahau hou, me te noho tahi me ō hoa – arotahi ki tō tipu ake, kaua e manukanuka ki ngā whakaaro pēnei i te "Me pēhea ia e ngahau ai me te kore ahau?", "Me pēhea mēnā ka whiwhi ia i ngā hoa hou, ā, ka wareware ia i ahau?" Ā, koinei tonu te take he mea nui kia whakatakotohia he rohe mārama mō tō wātea i mua i te uru atu ki te pakihi tawhiti.
3. Kaua e tukua ngā take whakawhirinaki kia uru ki roto i tō whanaungatanga
Me pēhea te mahi a ngā whanaungatanga tawhiti? Ko te whakautu kei roto i te whakapono pumau o te tokorua ki a rāua anō, ahakoa kei tawhiti, kei tata rānei. Kāore te whakawhirinaki e puta i roto i te rā kotahi, e rua rānei; ka tū ki runga i te turanga pakari o te whanaungatanga . Ahakoa kua tīmata kē kōrua ki te whakaipoipo, ā, kei te hanga tonu i taua turanga, i te iti rawa ka taea e koe te ngana kia kaua e tirotiro i tō hoa, engari kia whakapono ki tā rāua e hiahia ana.
Mō tēnei, e kī ana a Gopa, "Tērā pea ētahi wā ka whakaaro koe kāore e tika ana te haere, engari kaua e tukua kia whakahaerea e ngā āwangawanga ō whanonga i roto i tō whanaungatanga. Kaua e mahi i te hē o te waea ataata ki a rātou i waho noa iho, hei ngana ki te kite mēnā kei te kōrero pono rātou mō tō rātou wāhi. Ina koa mēnā kei te ngana koe ki te whakahaere i te LDR me te rerekētanga wā, he mea nui kia hoki whakamuri koe, kia whakawhirinaki ki tō hoa."
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4. Tūtaki kanohi ki te kanohi i ngā wā katoa e taea ana
Ki te taea e koe, eke ki te tereina/eke ki te waka rererangi, ka awhi i tō hoa rangatira. Whakapono mai, ka hoatu he kaha oxytocin ki a koe hei tautoko i a koe mō ngā wiki/marama e whai ake nei. He tohu reka te tuku putiputi me ngā kāri i ngā wā motuhake. Engari ki te taea e kōrua te noho tahi tinana i aua rā, ka āwhina i a kōrua kia piripono ki tō hoa rangatira ahakoa kei tawhiti kōrua.
I te mea he nui tō hiahia kia angitu tēnei hononga LDR, e tumanakohia ana kia nui atu i te iti rawa ōu whakapau kaha ki te whakaora i te whanaungatanga . Mā te kite pinepine i tō hoa ka noho pūmau tō whakaaro, ka whakakorea hoki ngā māramatanga, ngā feaa rānei kua pupū ake i roto i tō hinengaro i ngā wā tata nei. Waihoki, ka whakahoutia ō maharatanga ki a kōrua, ā, ka mau tonu tō kōrua aroha.
5. Mahia ngā mea ngahau a te tokorua
Ko wai ka mea kāore e taea e ngā hoa noho tawhiti te ngahau pērā i ētahi atu hoa? Me kimi e kōrua te huarahi e pai ai te noho tahi me te hoa, e tika ana mō tō kōrua whanaungatanga. Mena kei te raru tonu koe ki te hopu i te manawataki o tētahi hononga LDR hou, he torutoru ā mātou whakaaro hei tīmata māu:
- Te whakamahere i ngā pō kiriata mariko me ngā rā aroha
- Ngā koha ohorere me ngā kete manaaki
- Te toro ohorere atu ki a rātou
- Te tuhi reta me te tuhipoka aroha
- Kia mārama ai tō Instagram me ngā whakaahua takirua ātaahua
- Ka kai tahi mātou i ia rā i runga i te FaceTime
- Te tuku whakaahua whaiaro ki mua, ki muri hoki hei whakapuaki i tō rā
- Te tuku i tā rātou rihi tino pai
- Ngā waea ataata kino i te pō
- Te purei keemu ipurangi
6. He paearu nui ake te wātea o ngā kare ā-roto
Kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te ora i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga tawhiti? Māku e whakamārama atu tētahi mea ngaro – tera pea he āputaputa puta noa i te whenua i waenganui i a kōrua ko tō hoa, engari me meinga rātou kia rite ki tō taha, ā, kei te tautoko koe i a rātou ahakoa pēhea. Inaa, e kī ana ngā rangahau hou he tata rite, he nui ake rānei te whakawhirinaki me te makona o ngā whanaungatanga tawhiti i ngā whanaungatanga tata whenua. Nō reira,
- Ki te mea kei roto tō hoa i te raruraru, whakarongo ki a ia me te aroha
- Kaua e tino whakapoto i roto i ō kōrero. Whakapuakina ō whakaaro mō te taha o te kōrero ahakoa he mea noa iho i roto i ngā huihuinga tari.
- Kaua e wareware ki te whakamahara i tō hoa rangatira ki te nui o tō aroha me tō ngaro i a ia
- Me kōrero tonu mō tāu rārangi whāinga i muri i te tawhiti, me te whakamahere i tō whanaungatanga mō te wā roa.
E whakamārama ana a Gopa mēnā ka taea te whai hononga kare ā-roto pumau i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga pēnei. "E taea ana, engari he maha ngā raruraru. Mā te kore whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ka arahi pea ki te ngenge, ka puta pea te āwangawanga, ā, ka pāngia pea te whakahaere wā. Heoi anō, ko te tawhiti i waenganui i a kōrua ka taea hoki te whakanui i a kōrua kia honoa, kia harikoa hoki ki te tūtaki anō ki tō hoa. Ka tumanako tonu koe ki te whakapau i te wā pai me tō hoa, ā, ka noho tonu he paparanga o te harikoa," tana kī.
Pānui e pā ana: 35 Kaupapa Kōrero Pai rawa atu mēnā kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga tawhiti
7. Kaua e kore te tautoko
Ki te kore e taea e koe te noho hei tautoko nui rawa atu mā tō hoa rangatira i te ao, ko wai atu rānei? Ahakoa te tawhiti, ka hinga te kaupapa katoa o te ngana ki te whakahaere i tō whanaungatanga, ka tīmata koe ki te whakapae i a rātou mō te whai i ā rātou moemoeā me te whakarērea i a koe. Ahakoa he kawenga ki tō rātou whānau, he mahi, he ako ki tāwāhi, he aha atu rānei, me tautoko koe i tā rātou kaupapa, me waiho hoki hei pūtake o tō rātou hihiri. Ka taea e koe te mahi i tēnā?
8. Kaua e moe i runga i ō raruraru
Kāore e taea e koe te wareware kāore kōrua e noho tahi ana i raro i te tuanui kotahi, i te tāone kotahi rānei. Nō reira, kāore he wāhi pai mō kōrua ki te moe me te whakaaro, "Ka tūtaki tāua āpōpō, ka whakatau i ngā mea." Mā te tuku i ngā raruraru kia pirau haere ka puta te riri i roto i tō hinengaro, i a koe e tatari ana kia waea mai te tangata ki te whakapāha; i te kore mōhio, kei te pana noa kōrua tetahi i tetahi.
He tino māmā te puta ake o ngā hē i roto i ngā whanaungatanga tawhiti mō ngā take mārama. Ki te kore koe e aro atu ki aua mea i taua wā tonu, ka kitea e koe tō aroha e kapi ana i raro i te puranga whakapae, te koretake, me te kore whakapono. Ko te whakatau tautohe me te pono me te mārama 100% me waiho hei kaupapa matua māu i mua i te mutunga rawa!
Tohutohu Matua
- He maha ngā whanaungatanga tawhiti ka hinga i te koretake o te māia, te korenga o te whanaungatanga tinana me te whanaungatanga kare ā-roto, me te kore whakapono pono.
- Engari ehara i te mea kāore e taea te whakahaere i te LDR i tēnei wā o te hangarau.
- He māmā ake te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero me te haereere ināianei, ā, ka āwhina i te whakaiti i te taumahatanga o tō kōrua whanaungatanga.
- He mea tino nui te wātea o ngā kare ā-roto me te whakaute i ngā rohe o tētahi ki tētahi
- He maha ngā huarahi hei whakarite i ngā pō whakaipoipo me ngā mahi whakangahau mō ngā tokorua kia mau tonu ai te aroha i waenganui i a kōrua.
Nā te mea kua tae tātou ki te mutunga o tā tātou haerenga, ko te tumanako ka whakakorea e ā mātou tohutohu mō ngā whanaungatanga tawhiti ō āwangawanga me ō āwangawanga katoa, ā, ka tata atu koe ki tō hoa aroha ahakoa kei tawhiti kōrua i te moana. Ko te mahi nui ko te whakapono ki tō hoa rangatira, me te pupuri i a koe anō kia mōhio. Kia mau ki te ngākau pono me te ngākau aroha, ā, i mua i tō mōhio, ka mutu te tatari!
Kua whakahoutia tēnei tuhinga i te marama o Poutū-te-rangi, 2023.
FAQs
Ki te kore koe e whakapau kaha ki te pupuri i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, ka noho wehe kē koe i roto i te whanaungatanga tawhiti. Koinā te wā ka tīmata te pānga o te tawhiti ki te whanaungatanga.
E ai ki ngā tatauranga , e 60% o ngā whanaungatanga tawhiti e ora tonu ana, engari e 40% kāore e angitu.
Kia kore ai e memeha te whanaungatanga tawhiti, me pupuri tonu te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero mā te waea, te tuku karere kuputuhi, me te kōrero ataata. Me whakapakari te whanaungatanga kare ā-roto mā te whakapuaki i ngā kōrero mō tō oranga me te whakarite kia rite te wā ki te wā e tika ana.
Kōrerohia tō rā, kia whai wairua whakakatakata, kōrerohia te rangatira i tahae i tō whakaaro i te hui, te tunu kai hou rānei i whakamātauria e koe i te kāinga. Me whakapuaki hoki koe ki tō hoa mō ngā raruraru kare ā-roto katoa kua pā ki a koe.
Ki te tīmata te tinihanga a te hoa, te whakarē rānei i a koe i roto i tētahi hononga tawhiti, kāore he tūponotanga o te hokinga tahi o te tokorua. Mā te wehenga tawhiti ka mate te hononga ake ake.
Ko te mea tino uaua i roto i te whanaungatanga tawhiti ko te wā e pāngia ana koe e te wā uaua, ka ngaro koe i te tautoko a tō hoa. Ina mate koe, ina raru rānei koe i ngā raruraru pēnei i te pūtea, i te ahotea mahi rānei, ka hiahia koe kia noho tō hoa i tō taha. Koinā te wā ka tino uaua ai te whanaungatanga tawhiti.
Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
