Kore Tamariki nā te Kōwhiringa - He aha ngā Wahine e Kōwhiri ana kia Whakakore i te Whaeatanga

Ehara i te mea ngāwari te noho hei wahine takakau, ina koa kua tata koe ki waenganui o te 30 tau te pakeke, ā, kāore anō kia kitea he tohu o te 'noho pai' e ai ki tā rātou. Engari ko ngā wāhine e whiriwhiri ana kia kaua e whānau tamariki, e kore rānei e whai tamariki ahakoa kua moe tāne, ko rātou te hunga e tino pāngia ana e ngā kōrero me ngā whakahe a te hapori.

Hei wahine takakau, he kīwaha tēnei e pārekareka ana ki ahau: "Ehara i te mea he kōpū tōu e kī ana me whānau he tamaiti, engari me rite tonu te hiahia o te tangata whai taura reo ki te kaiwaiata." He wāhi motuhake tā te hapori mō ngā wāhine, ā, ki te kore koe e pai ki tētahi o aua wāhi, ka nui te riri ka puta mai i a koe.

I ēnei rā, ko ngā wāhine, nā te mea he nui ake ā rātou mahi, kei te whakaroa i te noho hei whaea, kei te whiriwhiri noa rānei kia kaua e whai tamariki. Āe, e ai ki te hapori, kāore he mutunga o te rongonga i tēnei. Ko au nei, kāore au e hiahia ki te whānau tamariki, ki te wheako hoki i te 'makutu' o te whaea. Kia pēhea te nui o te whakahē i ahau mō taku whakatau? Āe, ko te whakautu – He nui.

6 Ngā Whakautu ki ngā Wahine Kāore e Hiahia ki te Whai Tamariki

Ehara te whaea i te wahinetanga. He wāhanga noa iho tēnei o te whaea, ā, ko te whakahē i ngā wāhine kāore e hiahia ana ki ngā tamariki, e whakahē ana rānei ki te whaeatanga, ehara i te mea tika mā te tangata. Pērā i ngā momo āhua noho katoa, me whakaute te whakatau kia kaua e whai tamariki. He aha te take kāore ai e pāngia ngā tāne e te kaha o te pēhanga mō te awhi i te pāpā? Ehara i te mea he mahi mā ngā tāngata tokorua te mātua?

He mea noa te noho kore tamariki? Ae, tino tika! Kua taunga ngā wāhine ki ngā tumanakohanga a te hapori engari kaua e waiho ēnei tumanakohanga hei kawenga māu. Kāore au i te rite ki te noho hei whaea, ā, me whakamārama tonu ahau ki te katoa he aha ahau kāore ai e hiahia ki te whānau tamariki ahakoa kua 30 ōku tau. He take āku, engari kāore e ranea.

"Ko te noho kore tamariki ko te whakarite i ngā mea e whakakī ana i a koe."

He aha te uaua ki te hapori te whakaae ki ngā wāhine kāore he tamariki, ki ngā tāne me ngā wāhine rānei e hiahia ana ki te noho kore tamariki? Nā te mea kāore te iwi e hiahia ki te mārama te āhua o te kore tamariki a ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kua marenatia. Kāore rātou e whakaae ko ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kāore he tamariki, ko te wahine rānei e whakatau ana kia kaua e whānau tamariki, ka taea te harikoa. Koinei ētahi o ngā tauhohenga ka puta mai i ahau ina kī atu ahau kāore au e hiahia ki te whānau tamariki:

1. Mā wai koe e tiaki ina kaumātuatia koe?

Āe, he tawhiti rawa te whakaaro mō tēnā ināianei, he pono. Engari ko ētahi tamariki he tino pōrangi, ā, ka whakarērea ō rātou mātua kaumātua i te wā e tino hiahiatia ana. He maha ngā kōrero e pānuihia ana e tātou mō te whakarēreatanga o ngā kaumātua e ā rātou tamariki i ngā tiriti, i waho rānei i ngā hōhipera, i waihotia rānei ki ngā whare kaumātua. Nō reira, kāore, ehara tēnei i te take mō te whānau tamariki. Haunga tēnā, ehara te tamaiti i te inihua ka taea e koe te whakamahi hei oranga mō tō kaumātuatanga.

2. Ka noho hei wahine koe ina awhi koe i te whaeatanga

Kia pono. E ai ki taku kōrero i mua, ko te whaeatanga tētahi wāhanga noa iho o he aha te mea e hanga ai te wahineKāore koe e hiahia ki tētahi tamaiti kia tino rite ai koe hei wahine. He tino rite te wahine i a ia anō. He tuakiri tōna ake. He kōrero whakaiti tēnei ki te tini o ngā wāhine whakawhiti ira tangata, ki ngā wāhine rānei e whawhai ana ki ngā mate whakawhānau. Kāore he pānga o te noho hei whaea ki te whānautanga. Ka taea e koe te noho kore tamariki mā te whiriwhiri, ā, ka tino rite tonu koe hei wahine.

3. Kāore koe e hiahia ki te pupuri tonu i te ingoa whānau?

Koinei tētahi o ngā tauhohenga tino noa e pā mai ana ki ahau mō te kore e whai tamariki. Ina kōrero ahau ki te tangata i ngā take kāore au e hiahia ana ki te whai tamariki, ka mataku rātou, ā, ka ngana ki te 'whakaako' i ahau mō aku kawenga ki te kawe i te ingoa whānau. He aha rawa te take me mahi ahau i tēnā? Nā, me pēhea mēnā ka mutu taku whakapapa i muri i ahau?

Kāore rawa e puta he whakangaromanga nui. He pai ake ki ahau te tuku i aku taonga katoa ki tētahi rōpū aroha, kia pai ake ai te whakamahinga. Kua whakakino tēnei mahi i te mauri o te noho hei whaea. Kāore koe e hiahia ki te hoatu take ki ētahi atu kia noho hei tokorua kāore he tamariki, engari me mahi noa i te mea pai mōu ake, hei tokorua hoki.

Te pānui e pā ana: I tika kia mau i tētahi puku hapūtanga rūpahu, nā te mea nā tō tātou hapori

4. Ka mokemoke koe i te kitenga i ō hoa katoa me ā rātou tamariki

Kāo, ngā mihi! I whiriwhiria e au tētahi mahi rerekē i te nuinga o ōku hoa, ā, e harikoa ana ahau ki te whiwhi utu iti mōna. Ko taku hiahia te mea tuatahi, ā, kaua rawa e hae ki te hunga he pai ake ā rātou mahi i aku. Mehemea he aha, me whakaute aku hoa i taku whakatau kia kaua e whānau tamariki, kia whakaroa rānei i taku mahi kia whānau tamariki ai. Haunga tēnā, ehara i te mea ko te whāinga o ia wahine i te ao ko te noho hei whaea. He rerekē ā rātou kaupapa matua. Heoi anō, he maha rawa ngā kawenga e haere tahi mai ana me te whaea, ā, e tino harikoa ana ahau ki te noho i te ao kāore he tamariki.

5. He tamariki anō hoki koe i mua

Āe, he tamariki tonu ahau i mua, engari ehara i te mea nāku i whiriwhiri. I whānau mai ahau i ōku mātua nā te mea i hiahia rāua ki tētahi tamaiti. Kei a au te tika ki te whakatau i aku ake whakatau, ā, kāore au i whiriwhiri kia whānau tamariki. E hiahia ana ahau kia noho tonu hei tamariki, kia ngahau hoki i ngā wā e hiahia ana ahau, me te kore e taumahatia e ngā kawenga e pā ana ki te noho hei māmā. Ki ahau nei, ki taku whakaaro he māmā kino ahau, ā, e pai ana ki ahau! Tāpiri atu ki tēnā, kei a au te tika ki te whakatau māku ake.

6. He rerekē te āhua ina pupuri koe i tētahi tamaiti

He tino harikoa ahau tae noa ki te pōrangi i ngā wā katoa e pupuri ana ahau i tētahi kurī iti, i tētahi punua ngeru rānei i roto i ōku ringa. Nō reira, kāo, kāore au e pouri mō te kore whānau tamariki, te whara i ōku wāhanga tūmataiti, te mamae tinana nui rānei o te whānautanga hei pupuri i tētahi pēpi hou me te wheako i te 'kare ā-roto'. Mehemea he tamaiti tāku engari kāore e taea te whakatutuki i ō rātou hiahia me te oranga whānui? Kāore ianei i te hē ki a rātou? He aha te kore ai tetahi e whakaaro ki tēnā?

I roto ahau i a whanaungatanga pono mō ngā tau e rima. Engari, i whakamārama atu ahau ki te tangata kāore au e hiahia ki te whānau tamariki. Tērā pea koinei te take i roa ai tōna riri ki ahau. Engari kāore au i hiahia ki te aukati i a ia kia whānau, nō reira i neke atu māua.

Te pānui e pā ana: 50 Ngā Tohu e Pai Ana Te Wahine Ki A Koe – Kāore e He Te He Ki Te Haere Māu!

I pā mai ki a māua ētahi wā pai, ētahi wā kino hoki, engari ko taku kore hiahia ki te whānau tamariki te mea nui mōna. He maha āna tawai mai ki ahau, nā te mea kāore au i pai ki te tipu ake, ki te tango kawenga. Ki te titiro whakamuri, ki taku whakaaro he tika pea ia, engari ko te kupu 'tūturu' e whakamataku ana i ahau. Koia ahau i kore ai e hiahia ki ngā moko, waiho noa he pēpi. He tino harikoa ahau i te kore tamariki nā te mea i whiriwhiria e au.

Ngā Take e Kore ai ngā Tamariki a ngā Wahine

Kei te piki haere te tokomaha o ngā wāhine me ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e whakatau ana kia kaua e whānau tamariki, kia noho kore tamariki rānei. He tau 2021 rangahau I whakaatuhia e te rangahau a te Pew Research Center e 44% (he pikinga 7% mai i te tau 2018) o ngā pakeke i waenga i te 18-49 tau te pakeke kāore e whakaaro ana ki te tautoko i te noho hei mātua, me te whakahua i ngā take mai i te noho kore tamariki mā te whiriwhiri ki ngā take pūtea me ngā āwangawanga taiao me te huringa āhuarangi.

E 74% o ngā pakeke kei raro iho i te 50 tau te pakeke, kua mātua kē, i kī kāore ā rātou mahere ki te whānau tamariki anō ā muri ake nei. Kua heke te reiti whānau i te Hononga o Amerika mō ngā tau maha, i mua i te pānga kino o te mate urutā ki te ao katoa. Tāpiri atu ki tēnā, he tekau tau o ngā rangahau me ngā rangahau kua whakaatuhia mai he nui ake te harikoa o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kāore he tamariki i te hunga whai tamariki.

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Ora me te Pupuri i te Marenatanga kia Kaha i Muri i te Tamarikitanga

tetahi ako I whakahaerehia e te Institute for Family Studies i te tau 2018, i whakatau ko ngā wāhine kua moe tāne, ā, he tamariki ā rātou, he iti ake te harikoa i ō rātou hoa kāore he tamariki. I whakaarohia e rātou ngā raraunga e 40 tau te roa mō te whanaungatanga i waenga i te harikoa me te mātuatanga i te United States. Haunga tēnā, kāore e taea te whakakore i te meka he painga taiao te kore tamariki, e ai ki tētahi atu rangahau. ako i whakaputaina ki roto i ngā Reta Rangahau Taiao.

He maha ngā take e whiriwhiri ai ngā wāhine i te oranga kore tamariki. Ehara i te mea he kare ā-whaea tō ia wahine. Ehara i te mea ko te whaea anake te kaupapa o te oranga o te wahine. He rerekē āna kaupapa matua, āna whāinga rānei i te ao, ā, me whakaute ia mō te whakatau i aua kōwhiringa. Ka whakarārangihia e mātou ētahi take e piki haere ana te tokomaha o ngā wāhine e whiriwhiri ana kia kaua e whānau tamariki:

• Kāore rātou e hiahia ana kia noho hei mātua
• Kāore rātou e hiahia ana ki te kawenga e pā ana ki te whānautanga o te tamaiti
• He nui ake tō rātou whakapau kaha ki ā rātou mahi
• Ngā āwangawanga hauora me ngā āwangawanga pūtea
• Ngā āwangawanga mō te taiao me te huringa āhuarangi
• He nui ake tō rātou aro ki tā rātou mātauranga

Ā, ko te tikanga, kei reira tonu te pātai e whiua ana ki ngā wāhine e whiriwhiri ana ki te noho i te ao kāore he tamariki: "Kāore koe e pouri ki tāu whakatau kia kaua e whānau tamariki?" Kia maumahara ki taua wāhanga o te Wāhanga 4 o Whare o Cards i reira ka pātai atu tētahi manuhiri ki a Claire Underwood, "Kei te pouri koe mō te kore tamariki?" ā, ka whakautu ia me tētahi pātai whakautu, "Kei te pouri koe mō te kore tamariki?" He wā tino nui, he wā onge hoki tēnei e whakaatu ana i te whakaaro o ngā wāhine, he hunga hiahia kore tamariki, he hunga hiahia ki te whai tamariki, he hunga hiahia ki te whai tamariki, he hunga pirau tikanga.

Ahakoa te take i whiriwhiri ai rātou i tētahi momo noho kore tamariki, kaua rawa te wahine e whakahengia mō te whakatau kia kaua e whānau tamariki. Kāore te iwi e whakaae kia mārama kāore te wahine e hiahia ana ki te whai tamariki mēnā ka whiriwhiria e ia te kore tamariki. Ehara te noho hei whaea, te noho hei mātua rānei i te mea ngāwari noa iho. Ki ētahi wāhine, ehara te whakatipu tamariki i te wheako tino whai hua o ō rātou oranga.

Mō ngā tau maha, i raru ahau i te tumanako kia whānau tamariki, ahakoa kāore i rite ki aku whāinga whaiaro. Nā te whakaora hinengaro, i kitea e au te maia ki te awhi i taku whakatau kia noho kore tamariki, ā, i ako ahau ki te whakapuaki i tēnei me te maia ki ngā whanaunga. I tēnei rā, kei te ora ahau i tētahi oranga whai hua e aro ana ki aku hiahia me aku uara, me te kore e pāngia e te pēhanga pāpori.

Kua oti i ahau te whakatau i tōku ao. I te 15 o ōku tau, i mōhio ahau ko taku hiahia kia noho hei kaituhi whakangahau me te kaituhi momo noho, ā, ko te tuarua o ngā mea i mōhio ahau ko taku kore hiahia kia noho hei whaea. E 29 ōku tau, ā, kua whakatau ahau me te whai whakaaro ki te marena ki tētahi tāne e hono atu ana ahau ki tētahi mea hohonu ake, me tētahi e mōhio ana ki a ia. me pēhea te whakaute i te wahine ā, e mārama ana hoki ka taea e ngā wāhine te whiriwhiri kia kaua e hiahia tamariki, engari kia arotahi ki ā rātou mahi, ki ētahi atu whāinga rānei o te ao.

He pai ki ahau mēnā ka whiriwhiria e tētahi atu te whaea, nā te mea e pai ana ahau ki te whakaute i ngā kōwhiringa a ngā wāhine mā rātou anō. E tumanako ana hoki ahau ki te pērā anō mai i te hunga e karapoti ana i ahau, engari, kāore tetahi e mōhio ana āhea tātou ka kite i taua rā.

FAQs

Thoughts Final

He whakatau whaiaro rawa te whiriwhiri kia noho kore tamariki, ā, e whakaata ana i te mōhio ki a koe anō, te tū motuhake, me te maia ki te wero i ngā tikanga a te hapori. Ahakoa kei te arataki koe i te pēhanga, kei te rapu māramatanga rānei mō tāu whiringa, kia mahara ko te noho pono ka arahi ki tētahi oranga whai hua. Ā mātou kaiwhakaora aroha Whakaratohia he wāhi haumaru hei tūhura i ō kare ā-roto me te whakapakari i te whakapono ki ō whiringa. Whakaritea tō wā i tēnei rā, ā, awhia te oranga e hiahia ana koe ki te ora.

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