Nō reira, i tūtaki koe ki te kōtiro o ō moemoeā, ā, i tere tonu te pai o te whanaungatanga i waenganui i a kōrua. Engari kāore anō kia neke atu i tērā, ahakoa kua noho tahi kōrua mai i taua wā. Ā, ināianei, kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te mōhio mēnā kei te pai tētahi kōtiro ki a koe engari kei te huna tonu. "Kei te aroha ia ki ahau?", e whakaaro ana koe i ia rā, i ia rā, ā, kua pau ngā rau hei hutihuti, engari kāore tonu i te kitea te whakautu. Āe, tuatahi, manawa mārie. Kāore koe i te mokemoke.
Kāore i te tino pai te haere o te aroha. Kāore i te tino rere ngā kare ā-roto pērā i te awa mārama, e kitea tika ana. He maha ngā kōtiro e huna ana i ō rātou kare ā-roto mō ngā tāne e pai ana ki a rātou. He maha ngā wā, me whakapau kaha tonu koe ki te wikitoria i te ngākau o te kōtiro me te whakaatu i tōna ngākau ki a koe. Kia taea ai e koe te mahi i tēnā, me pānui tuatahi koe i ngā tohu e pai ana ia ki a koe engari kei te huna tonu. Ahakoa he uaua te kimi mēnā kei te hiahia te kōtiro ki a koe, kāore rānei, kua māmā ake māu.
Me pēhea te mōhio mēnā kei te pai tetahi kōtiro ki a koe engari kei te huna - 35 ngā tohu iti
Ripanga o Ihirangi
"Ki te whakapataritari tetahi kotiro i ahau, e pai ana ranei ia ki ahau?", ka patai koe. Ina whakaari tetahi kotiro e kore e aro ki a koe engari he tohu huna kei te pai ia ki a koe, he aha to whakaaro mo ana whanonga? Ka taea e enei patai te taumaha ki to hinengaro mena kei te whiwhi tohu rereke koe mai i tetahi kotiro e hiahia ana koe. Na, tuatahi, kaua e tere rawa te whakahe me te whakaaro ko ana whanonga he tohu kei te takaro takaro ia.
He maha ngā take e whakaroa ai ia ki te whakapuaki i ōna kare ā- roto ki a koe. Mēnā kua kite koe i ētahi tohu ngaro e pai ana ia ki a koe, ā, he rite tonu ōu kare ā-roto, me mahi koe i tētahi mea hei tirotiro māu. Engari ko te kore mārama o ngā kare ā-roto kei te aukati pea i a koe. Nō reira, ko te mea tuatahi, me whakaaro koe me pēhea te mōhio mēnā kei te pai tētahi kōtiro ki a koe engari kei te huna, kia taea ai e koe te whakarite i ō mahi e whai ake nei. Mā ēnei tohu 35 e whakaatu ana kei te pai ia ki a koe engari kei te huna, ka tino mārama:
1. Ka meinga ia e koe kia menemene
Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te mōhio mēnā kei te aro atu tētahi kōtiro ki a koe, engari e ngana ana kia kaua e whakaatu, kia aro atu ki tēnei. Ki te mea he aroha tōna ki a koe, ka menemene tonu ia i tō aroaro. Ehara i te mea he mahi atawhai tāna. Engari nā te mea ko te noho tata ki a koe ka hari pono ia, ka whakamārama i tōna mata me ōna kanohi. E pai ana ia ki a koe, ā, e koa ana ki tō kōrua noho tahi. Ahakoa ko te menemene tonu i a ia i a koe e tata ana, ehara pea i te tohu pono kei te aro atu ia ki a koe, engari he tohu whakatenatena tēnei.
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2. He tuwhera, he manaaki hoki tōna reo tinana
E mōhio ana mātou, kei te rapu tonu koe i te kupu "me pēhea te mōhio mēnā kei te pai tetahi kotiro ki a koe engari kei te huna tonu". Āe, ahakoa te āhua nei kei te āwangawanga ia mō ōna kare ā-roto pono, tera pea ka kitea e tōna tinana ngā tohu e pā ana ki a ia. Tērā pea kei te huna e ia ōna kare ā-roto engari kāore e taea te whakahaere i tōna hinengaro huna. Ka kite koe i ngā tohu reo tinana o te wahine e pai ana ia ki a koe i roto i tōna āhua. Kia tino aro atu, ā, mēnā kei te aroha ia ki a koe, tera pea ka kite koe i a ia:
- E tū teitei ana, ko ōna pakihiwi e anga whakamuri ana, ko ōna waewae e anga ana ki tōu taha
- E takaro ana ki ōna makawe
- Ka titiro kanohi
- E anga atu ana ki a koe
- Ka piko tōna tuara
I te katoa, ka kite koe he whānui ake, he manaaki ake tōna āhua. E ai ki tētahi rangahau , haunga ēnei tohu reo tinana, ko ngā tohu kore-waha pēnei i te piko o te māhunga e tohu ana hoki kei te pai ia ki a koe engari e huna ana.
3. Ka takaro ia ki ngā tuhinga
Me pēhea koe e mōhio ai mēnā kei te pai tētahi kōtiro ki a koe i a koe e tuku karere ana? Āe, tera pea kei roto i ana tauira tuku karere ngā tohu . Kia aro ki te tuhinga huna o ana karere kuputuhi, ka pātai atu ki a koe anō ēnei pātai:
- He ngawari te tangi o ana karere, he tino whakawai rānei?
- Kei te tawai ia i a koe ki ana kupu?
- He rerekē rawa tana urupare ki ō karere kuputuhi?
- Kei te akiaki ia i a koe kia anga whakamua?
I kite koe i a koe anō e pōkaikaha ana ki ia pātai? He kōrero hou māu: he tino hiahia tōna ki a koe. Tērā pea he ahua rerekē ēnei karere kuputuhi ngaro hei tohu e pai ana te kotiro ki a koe engari e ngana ana kia kaua e whakaatu, engari ki te whakaarohia e koe, ehara i te mea pono. Tērā pea kei te rapu ia i tētahi huarahi, i tētahi tohu mārama mai i a koe. Ā, ko te takaro te huarahi hei whakamātautau i te wai.
4. Kei reira ia hei tautoko i a koe
Kei te whakaaro tonu koe me pēhea te mōhio mēnā kei te pai tetahi kotiro ki a koe engari kei te huna? He māmā noa iho: kāore e taea e ia te aukati i a ia anō kia noho ki tō taha i ia taahiraa o te huarahi. Mēnā he whakaaturanga nui tāu i te mahi, ka mihi atu ia ki a koe, ā, ka tuku karere atu i muri mai kia mōhio ai koe me pēhea te haere. Mēnā ka pāngia tō kuri e te mate, ka whakarērea e ia ana mea katoa kia haere tahi me koe ki te rata kararehe. Ko ēnei mahi i ahu mai i ōna kare ā-roto mōu. Ko tōna noho ki tō taha i ngā wā pai, i ngā wā uaua, tera pea tētahi o ngā tohu e aroha nui ana ia ki a koe.
5. Kāore e taea e ia te mutu te kōrero mōu
Nā, me pēhea koe e mōhio ai mēnā kei te pai tētahi kōtiro ki a koe? Āe, tera pea ka huna ngā tohu i roto i ana taunekeneke ki āna hoa, ki ngā tāngata rānei e tata ana ki a ia. Ka kōrero ngā kōtiro ki ō rātou kare ā-roto me ō rātou kare ā-roto, ā, ka whakawhirinaki ki ngā tāngata e whakawhirinaki ana rātou. Mēnā he hoa ōu, mā te rapu haere i ngā mea katoa ka marino koe, inā koa mēnā kei te whakaaro tonu koe me pēhea te mōhio mēnā kei te aro atu tētahi kōtiro ki a koe. Anei tētahi whakaaro: tūtaki ki tētahi o āna hoa wahine i runga i te kawhe, tirohia mēnā ka taea e koe te tiki i ētahi kōrero e tika ana kia arohia e koe, me te kawe rānei i ō hoa ki waho mō te pia, ka meinga rātou kia whakapuaki i ngā mea ngaro.
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6. Ka whakapau kaha ia ki te pupuri i te whakapā atu
Kua kite pea koe i te kōrero rongonui e horapa haere ana i runga i ngā papaaho pāpāho pāpori , "Ko ētahi e kōrero ana ki a koe i ō rātou wā waatea, ko ētahi e wātea ana ki te kōrero ki a koe." Inaianei, tātarihia ō taunekeneke ki a ia me tēnei tauira:
- Kei te rapu take ia hei whakawhanaunga atu ki a koe, hei whakapau wā rānei ki a koe?
- Mena kāore kōrua i kōrero, i tūtaki rānei mō ētahi rā, ka tirohia mai e ia?
- Ka tuku mai rānei ia i tētahi 'kia ora' me tētahi 'ssup' mēnā kua kore kōrua e kōrero mō ētahi haora?
Mena āe, kāore e kore he nui tōna aroha ki a koe. Nā, pātai atu ki a koe anō, he aha ia i pērā ai? Nā te mea he pai ki a ia te noho tahi me koe. Mā tēnei whanonga e whakaatu tōna hiahia aroha ki a koe.
7. He maha ana karere ki a koe
A, mehemea kāore he tohu mārama o te takaro i roto i āna taunekeneke ki a koe? Ā, mehemea ka waiho koe hei āwangawanga mō te pehea e mōhio ai mēnā he pai ki a koe tētahi kotiro mā te tuku karere kuputuhi , engari kei te ngana kaha ia ki te kore e whakaatu i ōna kare ā-roto ki a koe? Tirohia atu. Ahakoa e huna ana e ia ōna kare ā-roto mā te tuku karere kuputuhi, tērā pea kāore e taea e ia te pupuri i tana hiahia ki te whakapā atu.
Ko te tuku karere kuputuhi auau, inā koa ko ia te tangata e tīmata ana, he tohu tēnei mō ōna kare ā-roto mōu. Ko tana hiahia kia whakapā atu tonu ki a koe, kia whakapuaki i ana wā ki a koe, me te pātai i ngā pātai whaiaro mō tō koiora he tohu mārama kei te aroha ia ki a koe, ā, e hiahia ana kia mōhio ake ki a koe.
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8. Kei te mataku ia i a koe
Ko tētahi o ngā tohu matua e pai ana ia ki a koe ko tōna mataku nui ina tata ia ki a koe. Mēnā he mōhio koe ki ēnei mea, kōrero mai ki a mātou:
- Tērā pea he ahua pōrangi tana mahi
- Tērā pea ia e whakapāha nui ina kore he take mona
- Tērā pea ka haere tonu ia, ka kore rānei e kōrero
- Tērā pea ka kitea e koe tēnei wahine māia, kāore i te tino māia ki a ia anō
- Tērā pea ka tere tōna manawa
- Tērā pea ka kite koe i a ia e nekeneke haere ana
Ko ēnei mahi he hua nōu i te mea i pēhia ai tōna ngākau e koe. He pono kei a ia ōna kare ā-roto mōu, ā, mō ētahi take – nā tōna āhua whanaungatanga o nāianei pea, nā tōna oranga aroha o mua, nā te kore mārama rānei o ō kare ā-roto mōna – kei te ngana ia ki te huna i aua kare ā-roto. Koinei te huarahi ki te mōhio mēnā he pai ki a koe te kōtiro engari kei te huna.
9. Ka kata ia e koe
Ko te huarahi ki te ngākau o te wahine ko te whakakatakata. He hononga tata te kata me te kukume, nā te mea ina koa tātou i tētahi, ka tīmata tātou ki te titiro pai atu ki a rātou. Ko te kaha ki te mea i tētahi kōtiro kia kata he tohu pai anō hoki. Mena kei te kata ia ki ō katakata me ō kōrero whakakatakata, kei te menemene tonu rānei i a koe e kōrero ana ki a ia, kei te taha noa rānei, kei te angitu koe ki te whakaū i tō tūranga i roto i tōna ngākau. Ā, ki te kata ia ahakoa ngā katakata tino whakarihariha e kōrerohia ana e koe, he tohu tēnei e aroha ana ia ki a koe.
10. Ka titiro puku ia ki a koe
Āe, ehara i te mea whakamataku. Engari ka kite koe i ētahi tohu ngawari e whakaatu ana kei te aro nui mai tētahi kōtiro ki a koe. Hei tauira, ki te mea kei te taha ia, ā, kei te aro nui koe ki tētahi mea, kāore e taea e ia te ārai i te titiro mai ki a koe me te aroha me te whakamoemiti. Ki te kite koe i a ia e titiro mai ana, ka tahuri ke atu ia, ka whakaatu i te whakama. I te mea kei konei koe e kite ana i ngā tohu e pai ana ia ki a koe engari kei te huna, kia mōhio koe ko te aro ki te kanohi he tohu tawhito e kore e taea e koe te wareware.
11. Ka maumahara ia ki ngā kōrero iti mōu
Ko tētahi atu tohu e kitea ana e pai ana ia ki a koe engari e huna ana (nā te mea e mataku ana ia ki te whakaatu i ōna kare ā-roto) ko tana mahara ki ngā kōrero iti mōu, kāore pea koe e mahara ki te whakapuaki ki a ia. Hei tauira, i kī atu pea koe ki a ia he pai ake ki a koe te kai nachos i te popcorn i a koe e mātaki ana i tētahi kiriata. I te wā e haere ake nei ka haere koe ki ngā kiriata, ka tohe pea ia ki te tiki i ngā kai me ngā inu, ā, ka tono nachos māu. Ko ēnei mahi whakaaro nui he whakaaturanga o ōna kare ā-roto hohonu mōu . Kāore koe e manukanuka ki te "Kei te pai mai ia ki ahau?" i ēnei wā.
12. E mōhio ana ia ki ngā mea kāore anō kia kōrerotia e koe ki a ia
He take pai āu hei whakapono kei te pirangi ia ki a koe engari kei te whakaari ia kāore he aro? Me hohonu ake tā tātou tirotiro i ngā tohu e whakaatu ana kei te aro atu te wahine ki a koe engari kei te whakakahore. Kia mōhio ki te nui o ana mōhiotanga mōu, tae atu ki ngā mea kāore pea koe i kōrero ki a ia.
Hei tauira, whakaarohia he mōkai tāu i a ia e tipu ake ana, ā, me whakamate. I tētahi rā, ka whakahuatia noatia e ia tōna ingoa ki roto i tētahi kōrero, ā, ka miharo koe. Tērā pea i mōhio ia ki tēnei mea mai i ō tuākana, tuākana rānei, i tō hoa o tō tamarikitanga, i tō whaea rānei. Ko te mea kei te whakapau kaha ia ki te mōhio ki a koe tētahi o ngā tohu e hiahia puku ana ia ki a koe.
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13. E whakaatu ana ia i ngā tohu o te hae
Ki te mea kei te pōhēhē tonu koe me pēhea te mōhio mēnā kei te aro atu tētahi kōtiro ki a koe, kia mahara, ahakoa te kaha o tana whakahaere i ōna kare ā-roto, ka pā tonu tōna hae ki a ia mēnā kei te pirangi ētahi atu wāhine ki a koe, kei te hiahia rānei koe ki tētahi atu wahine. Ki te mea kei te āwangawanga koe mō "Me pēhea taku mōhio mēnā kei te pirangi ia ki ahau, kei te rite rānei tana mahi ki ahau ki āna hoa?", kia aro ki ngā whakaaturanga huna o te hae.
"Ko wai ia?", "He aha te mea e tupu ana i waenganui i a kōrua?", "He aha tāna i kōrero ai ki a koe?" Mā ēnei pātai ka mārama ai ōna kare ā-roto mōu. Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu e whakaatu ana i tōna aroha nui ki a koe.
14. Kei te hiahia tonu ia ki te tūtaki ki a koe
Ko tētahi o ngā tohu mārama e pai ana ia ki a koe engari kei te huna pea i ōna kare ā-roto ko tana hiahia ki te noho tahi me koe. Ina kī koe kia noho tahi tāua, ka whakaae ia, kāore he whakaroa. Ahakoa me whakakore e ia ngā mahere o nāianei kia tutuki ai. Ā, he aha ia i pai ai ki te noho tahi me koe? Nā te mea:
- Ka pai ai tōna ngākau
- E pai ana ia ki tō koutou hoa
- Ka meinga e koe tōna ngākau kia tere te pao
- Ko te whakaaro o ētahi wā kounga māu ia e whakaoho i ngā pūrerehua i roto i tōna puku
- E kite ana ia i tēnei hei whai wāhitanga ki te whakapakari i tō kōrua hononga
15. Ka kōrero ia ki a koe i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori
Ko tētahi o ngā tohu e hiahia puku ana ia ki a koe ko āna taunekeneke ki a koe i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori. Ko te kotiro he ngoikore ki a koe, e kore e whai noa i a koe, e hoa rānei i runga i ngā papaaho pāpāho pāpori, engari ka pai hoki ki a koe, ka tuku kōrero hoki ki ō pou. Ka tirohia e ia ō kōrero, ka whakautu ki aua kōrero, ā, ka panuku haere i ō pou tawhito i ia wā, i ia wā.
He iti noa iho ēnei kōrero, engari kua kite koe i tāu hoa wahine e mahi ana i taua mea anō? Ae, he tino hiahia ia ki a koe. Ki te mea kei te rapu koe i ngā tohu e pai ana tētahi kotiro ki a koe engari e ngana ana kia kaua e whakaatu , ka taea e tēnei te hoatu he māramatanga ki a koe mō ōna kare ā-roto tūturu.
16. He kōrero whakapae āna
Ko te kōrero whakapae mō te āhua o te noho tahi o kōrua tētahi o ngā tohu ngaro e pai ana ia ki a koe. Ko ngā kōrero pēnei i te, "Mēnā kāore au e moe i te 30 tau, ka moe ahau i a koe" e tohu ana kei te hiahia te kotiro kia noho tahi kōrua mō te wā roa. Kei te tuku tohu mārama ia e hiahia ana ia ki tētahi mea anō, ā, kei te tatari pea ia kia mōhio koe. Kāore koe e hiahia kia noho hei tohunga whanaungatanga kia mōhio ai koe kua tae ki te wā ki te mahi i te nekehanga tuatahi.
17. Kei te rapu ia i a koe
Me pēhea koe e mōhio ai mēnā kei te pai tētahi kōtiro ki a koe? Tirohia tana tauhohe mēnā kei roto kōrua i tētahi rūma kī tonu i te tangata. Mēnā he aroha ōna ki a koe, ka kitea tonutia e koe ōna kanohi e rapu ana i a koe. Ko te mea pai rawa atu, kāore pea ia e mōhio kei te tupu, nō reira kāore e taea e ia te aukati ahakoa kei te ngana ia ki te huna i ōna kare ā-roto. Ina tūtaki ō kanohi ki a ia, ngana ki te titiro atu ki a ia me te titiro hōhonu, kaha. Mā tēnei titiro kaha ka hoatu he tohu ki a ia he rite tonu ngā kare ā-roto.
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18. Ka rerekē tana waiaro ki a koe
Kua whakaaro koe mēnā kua mau te aroha o tētahi o ō hoa tata ki a koe? I tēnei āhuatanga, me tino mōhio koe ki ētahi tohu mārama e pai ana ia ki a koe engari kei te hunaia e ia i mua i tō nekehanga tuatahi, nā te mea ka pā kino pea te hē o te mārama ki āna mahi, ā, me pēhea hoki!
Mena kua roa kōrua e mōhio ana tetahi ki tetahi, kua kite pea koe i tētahi panonitanga i roto i tana whanonga. "Kei te aroha ia ki ahau?", ka whakaaro pea koe. Āe, ki te kite koe i ngā panonitanga e whai ake nei i roto i te whanonga o tō hoa aroha, tera pea e hiahia ana ia kia whanake tēnei hoahoa hei mea nui ake:
- Ka whakapau kaha ia ki te whakakakahu i mua i to tutaki ki a koe
- Ka āta whiriwhiria e ia āna kupu
- Kāore ia e kōrero ana mō tōna oranga aroha, ā, e aroha ana ki a koe
19. Ka taea e koe te rongo i roto i tana pā
Ki te kore tonu koe e mōhio me pēhea te mōhio mēnā kei te aroha puku tetahi kotiro ki a koe, kia mahara, ko te pā ā-tinana he tohu kaha hei whakaatu i ōna kare ā-roto kāore i te tino huna ki a koe. Ki te mea kua roa kōrua e mōhio ana tetahi ki tetahi, tera pea ka kite koe kua rerekē tana huarahi e pā atu ai ia ki a koe. Mēnā kua tūtaki kōrua i ēnei rā tata nei, tera pea ka rongo koe kei te rapu huarahi ia ki te pā atu ki a koe. Hei tauira:
- Tērā pea ka pā atu ia ki tō ringa, ki tō pakihiwi rānei, ka awhi rānei i a koe hei mihi atu
- Ka taea e ia te mirimiri mārie i tō paparinga hei kī atu "Ngā mihi"
- Mena kua awhi koe i mua, tera pea ka kite koe kua roa haere ana awhi i ngā wā tata nei.
- Tērā pea ka pupuri ia i tō ringa mēnā ka whakanui kōrua i te ringa o tetahi ki tetahi
- Tērā pea ka mirimiri ia i ō makawe me te aroha
E ai ki tētahi rangahau , ko ēnei pā o te tinana tetahi o ngā tohu tino mārama e hiahia puku ana ia ki a koe.
20. Ka tīmata ia i ngā mahere
Ko tētahi o ngā tohu matua e aroha ana ia ki a koe ko tana hiahia ki te tīmata i ngā mahere. Mena kua roa kōrua e kore e kite tetahi i tetahi, ka kī mai ia kia noho tahi kōrua, ka rapu huarahi rānei ia kia kite i a koe. He aroha tōna ki a koe, ā, nā te mea kāore ia e kōrero whānui mō aua mea, ka whakauru pea ia i ngā hoa tahi, ka whakarite rānei i ngā mahere rōpū. Ko ēnei katoa kia kite ai ia i a koe, kia noho tahi rānei me koe. Ki tā mātou whakaaro ka taea e koe te whakautu haumaru i te pātai "E pai ana ia ki ahau?" me te 'āe' inaianei.
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21. Ko ōna kare ā-roto mōu te mea ngaro tino kino rawa atu
Kāore anō kia mōhio koe me pēhea te mōhio mēnā kei te pai tētahi kōtiro ki a koe engari kei te huna tonu? Me mau ā tātou karu tirotiro, ā, me whakaoti tahi tēnei. Kua kite atu koe i a ia e noho tahi ana me tana tira kōtiro, ā, kua rongo koe i te huringa o te kaha? Kei te titiro mai rātou katoa ki a koe, kei te whakatoi i a ia, kei te kōrero puku rānei. Kei te kōrero pōturi ana hoa ina hipa atu koe? Nā te mea e mōhio ana rātou ki ōna kare ā-roto mōu. He rongo pai tā mātou – koinei tētahi o ngā tohu tino mārama e pai ana ia ki a koe engari kei te whakaroa ki te kōrero atu ki a koe.
22. Ka meinga ia e koe kia whero
"E pai ana ia ki ahau? Ka pēhea tana whanonga i a au mēnā he aroha tāna ki ahau?", ka pātai koe. Hei kimi i te whakautu, ngana ki te takaro ki a ia, ki te mihi rānei ki a ia , ā, mā te āhua o te hurihanga o tana reo tinana ka nui ngā mea e kōrero ki a koe. Ki te whero ia, whakaarohia he tohu pai. He tino mōhio koe ki tōna ngākau, ā, kei te mōhio hoki koe ki tōna pā.
23. Ka aro nui atu ia ki a koe
Kei te kōrero koe i tētahi mea tino whaiaro ki a ia, ā, ka titiro matatau mai ia ki ō kanohi. Me te mea nei kei te ngana koe ki te mārama ki ō kare ā-roto. Tērā pea ka pupuri ia i tō ringa, ka mirimiri mārie. Ngāna ki te aromatawai i tēnei whanonga me ētahi atu tohu reo tinana e pai ana ia ki a koe (kāore rānei), ā, ka whiwhi koe i tāu whakautu. I a ia e mahi ana, ki te whai ia i ō mahi, ka taea e koe te whakawhirinaki ki tēnei tohu e tautokona ana e te rangahau e pai ana ia ki a koe engari e huna ana.
24. E ngana ana ia ki te miharo i a koe
Me pēhea koe e mōhio ai mēnā kei te pai tētahi kōtiro ki a koe? Ki te whakaaro ia he hoa pai koe māna, he mea maori noa iho te hiahia kia ātaahua, kia hiahiatia hoki e koe. Hei whakatutuki i tēnā, tera pea ka kite koe kei te whakapau kaha ia ki te miharo i a koe. Mai i te whakakakahu i ōu kākahu ki te whakaatu i ōna pūkenga i tētahi kēmu e pai ana koe ki te mahi, mai i te kōrero atamai mō ngā mea e hiahia ana koe ki te whakamahi i ana pou pāpāho pāpori hei whakaatu i ana mahi, kāore ia e aukati i te waiho i te whakaaro tika ki tō hinengaro.
25. E whakanuia ana e ia ō whakaaro
Ahakoa he hiahia puku tō te kōtiro ki a koe engari kāore e whakaatu i ōna kare ā-roto ki a koe, e kore e taea e ia te aukati i a ia anō ki te rapu i ō whakaaro mō ngā mea nui ki a ia. Ko koe te tangata tuatahi e toro atu ana ia ki a ia ina kitea ia e pāngia ana e tētahi āhuatanga, ā, e hiahia ana ia ki tētahi tirohanga hou mō te huarahi pai ki te whakatau i te āhuatanga. Nā te mea e whakanuia ana koe e ia me ō whakaaro. Tērā pea, i tētahi taumata, kua tīmata ia ki te titiro ki a koe hei wāhanga nui o tōna ao. Nō reira, e hiahia ana ia kia whai wāhi koe ki ngā whakataunga katoa, nui, iti hoki.
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26. Ka tautoko ia i a koe
Ki te hiahia te wahine ki tētahi tāne, ko ia tōna pou tokomanawa, tōna pūnaha tautoko, me tōna kaiārahi nui rawa atu. Kei te tākaro koe i tētahi kēmu nui e tū mai nei i tō karapu whutupaoro o te rohe? Kei te tuku kōrero ki ngā kaipupuri moni mō te whakatū i tō ake pakihi? Kei te huri i tō whakapono ki te mahi? Ka tautoko ia i a koe ahakoa te aha te whainga e tīmatahia ana e koe. Ki te mea he mea nui ki a koe, he mea nui ki a ia.
Ki te kite koe i a ia e mahi ana i tēnei māu, kia mōhio koe e hiahia ana ia ki tētahi whanaungatanga whai tikanga, whai kiko hoki ki a koe, ā, ehara i te mea kei konei ia hei takaro noa iho (ehara i te mea he he te takaro noa iho, engari ehara rawa i te mea e hiahia ana ia).
27. Ka tiaki ia i a koe
Mā te atawhai o te wahine ka māmā ake te kite i ngā tohu e hiahia ana te kōtiro ki a koe , nā te mea he uaua ki a ia te huna i ōna kare ā-roto pono i ētahi wā. Ki te mea he nui tōna aroha ki a koe, kāore e taea e ia te āwhina i a ia anō ina tae mai ki te tiaki i a koe. Ko te tikanga pea tēnei me haere mai koe ki tō whare ki te taka kai ina mate koe. Me āwhina rānei koe ki te whakaaturanga ina whai koe i tētahi wā poto. Ka koa ia ki te āwhina. Ki te mea kāore anō ia kia rite ki te whakapuaki i ōna kare ā-roto, koinei tana huarahi ki te kī atu ki a koe he wāhi motuhake tōu i roto i tōna ngākau.
28. Ka whakauru ia i a koe ki ngā kōrero roa
Ka kōrero waea atu rānei kōrua i ngā wiki tuarua, i ngā pō Paraire rānei, ki a ia, ki te kore e taea e kōrua te noho tahi? Ka tere noa te haere o te wā ina kōrero tahi kōrua? Whakaarohia tēnei hei tohu e aro nui ana te wahine ki a koe.
Ko te kōrero ngāwari e roa ana ki ngā hāora, me te ngaro o te aro ki te wā, he tohu tēnei kei te tipu haere te whanaungatanga o te ngākau i waenganui i a kōrua. Āe, me pēhea mēnā ko koe te tuatahi ki te tono atu ki a ia kia haere tahi? Kaua e noho noa me te whakaaro "Kei te pai mai ia ki ahau?"
29. Ka tohaina e ia ngā whakaahua ki a koe
"Me pēhea taku mōhio mēnā kei te pirangi ia ki ahau?", e whakaaro ana koe! Kāore anō kia mārama ki a koe ōna kare ā-roto? Tangohia he wā poto ka panuku i roto i ō kōrerorero ki a ia. He maha ngā whakaahua āna e kitea ana e koe – e whakaatu ana i āna kai mō te tina, e pātai ana i ō whakaaro mō ngā kākahu hei kakahu, e whakaatu ana rānei i ōna kare ā-roto puta noa i te rā? Koinei tana huarahi ki te tono i a koe ki roto i ngā kokonga hohonu o tōna ao, ā, kāore he take kē atu i tua atu i tana hiahia nui ki a koe. Ehara i te mea ko tana pai ki a koe anake, engari e whakawhirinaki ana hoki ki a koe.
30. He hononga tōna ki ngā tāngata o tō ao
Ki te whakapau kaha tāu kōtiro ki te hanga hononga kaha ki te hunga e nui ana ki a koe, ko tētahi o ngā tohu tēnā e aro nui ana te wahine ki a koe. Ki te waea atu ia ki tō māmā ki te tirotiro i a ia, ki te tuku keke rānei ki tō hoa pai i tōna rā whānau, kāore e kore ka taea e koe te tatau i tētahi o ngā tohu e hiahia puku ana ia ki a koe. E hiahia ana ia kia kite koe i ana mahi, nā te mea ina kite koe, ka mōhio koe kei te aroha nui ia ki a koe.
31. He atawhai ia ki ana mihi
Ki te pai tetahi kotiro ki a koe, ki te nui rānei ōna aroha ki a koe, he mea nui te nui o ngā mea e maioha ana ia ki a koe. Ahakoa ka taea e ia te huna i ōna kare ā-roto, tera pea ka ngaro atu tōna maioha ki a koe. Ki te nui ana mihi ki a koe , he tohu tēnā kei te hiahia ia ki a koe hei hoa rangatira pea.
32. Ka whakaaturia e ia ōna āhuatanga me ōna ngoikoretanga
Ki te kore te kotiro e aro ki te whakaatu i tōna taha rerekē, i ōna hapa rānei, ko te tikanga he hohonu ōna kare ā-roto mōu, ā, ehara i te mea he aroha noa iho, he aroha noa iho rānei. He kaha te kukume o te kare ā-roto e noho haumaru ai ia i a koe. E whakawhirinaki ana ia ka mārama koe ki a ia, ā, ahakoa kāore koe e mārama, e kore koe e whakahē i a ia mō ngā āhuatanga kāore ia e tino whakahīhī ana. Mā tēnei whakawhirinaki ka māia ia ki te noho hei tangata pono ki a koe, ā, ka taea e koe te kite i a ia mōna ake, ahakoa he aha. Ki te mea kei te pōhēhē tonu koe mō te "Me pēhea te mōhio mēnā e pai ana te kotiro ki a koe engari kei te hunaia e ia?", me mārama koe ki tēnei.
33. I inu ia i ngā waeatanga, i ngā karere kuputuhi rānei
Ko tētahi o ngā tohu tino pono e hiahia puku ana ia ki a koe ko te waea atu, te tuku karere rānei ki a koe ina haurangi ia. Ahakoa kāore pea i te tupu i ia rā, i ia wā rānei, nā te mea kua tupu, ko te tikanga kei roto koe i tōna hinengaro ahakoa kei hea ia, he aha tāna mahi, he aha rānei tōna āhua. Haunga tēnā, ka whakaarohia e te tangata te hunga e tino nui ana ki a rātou ina haurangi. Ki te waimarie koe, tera pea ka tukuna e ia ōna kare ā-roto kia puta i roto i aua kōrerorero haurangi.
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34. Ka tukua e ia tōna tiaki ki raro
I a koe e whakaaro ana "Me pēhea taku mōhio mēnā kei te pirangi ia ki ahau?", me tirotiro e koe te tawhiti kua tukuna koe e ia ki roto i tōna ao. Ki te tuku ia i tana tiaki kia kite koe i tōna taha ngoikore, ki te tuku i a koe ki te pātai i ngā pātai whaiaro hohonu, ki te whakapuaki rānei i ētahi wheako ora kāore i te tino pai ki a koe, he tino wāhi motuhake tōu i roto i tōna ngākau. Ko ētahi tauira o te ngoikore ki te tāne ko te whakawhirinaki ki a ia me ngā mea ngaro kua tiakina pai.
35. Ka wehe atu ia i te ao whakaipoipo
Whakaarohia tēnei: kāore pea koe i te tino 'āhua', engari kua wehe kē ia i te ao whakaipoipo. Ina aroha nui tetahi kotiro ki tētahi, ko te mea tuatahi ka mahia e ia ko te whakakore i a ia anō i te aroaro o ētahi atu. Kua takiuru ia, kua tango rānei i ngā taupānga whakaipoipo, kua mutu tana tono ki ngā hoa kia whakatūria ia, ā, kāore e rapu ana i ana kōwhiringa. Nā te mea kua riro kē i a koe taua wāhi motuhake i roto i tōna ngākau.
Tohutohu Matua
- Ka mōhio koe ina whanake ana te aroha o tētahi kōtiro ki a koe mēnā ka aro koe ki āna whanonga me tana reo tinana e karapoti ana i a koe.
- He maha ngā take e huna ai e ia ōna kare ā-roto – tērā pea kei te whakama ia, kei te āwangawanga rānei mō tō urupare, kei te ngana rānei ia ki te whakakore i te mamae o mua, kei te tatari noa rānei kia mahi tuatahi koe.
- Ko te āhua o tana menemene ki a koe, tana taunekeneke ki a koe, tana kōrero rānei mōu ki ētahi atu, he tohu kaha pea tēnei o ōna kare ā-roto.
- Kia kite koe i ngā tohu e hiahia ana ia ki a koe, tonoa atu ia kia haere tahi me koe mēnā he rite ō whakaaro ki a ia.
Mā te ako ki te whakamārama i ana nekehanga hei whakamārama i ōna kare ā-roto, ka taea e koe te whiti i te arai o te "me pēhea te mōhio mēnā e pai ana tētahi kōtiro ki a koe engari kei te huna tonu". Nā, ko te wāhanga uaua e whai ake nei – ko te neke me te tono kia haere tahi rāua. Kia waimarie koe!
FAQs
Kia aro ki tana reo tinana. Ki te marino, ki te māhorahora hoki tōna tinana, he tohu tēnā kei te pirangi ia ki a koe. Waihoki, ko te whero o te kanohi, te takaro rānei i ōna makawe i tō aroaro, he tohu anō hoki tēnā o te kukume i a ia.
Ki te whakapau kaha ia ki te pupuri i tōna hononga ki a koe, ki te whakauru rānei i a koe ki roto i tōna ao i tētahi huarahi, i tētahi atu huarahi rānei, ka tino mōhio koe kei a ia ōna kare ā-roto mōu engari e ngana ana ia ki te huna.
Ki te mea e aroha puku ana ia ki a koe, ka noho ia ki tō taha, ka tautoko i a koe, ka aro ki ō mea e pai ai, e kore ai hoki e pai ki a koe, ka mōhio ki a koe, ā, ka tuku i a ia kia noho puku i a koe.
Ko te takaro puku, te tuku karere kuputuhi pinepine, me te hae, he tohu katoa ēnei e aro puku ana ia ki a koe. Ki te kōrero ia ki a koe i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori, ki te tautoko rānei i a koe i ngā wā katoa e hiahia ana koe ki a ia, kia mōhio koe he tohu ēnei e pai puku ana ia ki a koe.
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Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
