Te Āhuatanga me te Hononga: Ka taea e tetahi te arahi ki tetahi atu?

He mea hou te kupu 'tūāhuatanga' i roto i te ao whakaipoipo, ā, he ahua pōuri tonu tōna tikanga. Inaa, ko te mea kotahi e mau tonu ana i roto i ngā tūāhuatanga katoa ko te koretake. Koinei te rerekētanga matua i waenga i te tūāhuatanga me te whanaungatanga - te māramatanga, te kore rānei.

Hei mārama ake mō te āhua o te hononga ā-tūāhua me ngā rerekētanga o te whanaungatanga me te hononga ā-tūāhua, i whakapā atu mātou ki tētahi tohunga hinengaro me tētahi Kaiwhakaora Whanoke Hinengaro o California. Tākuta Shefali Batra (MD i roto i te hinengaro), he tohunga ki te tohutohu mō te wehenga me te whakarere, te wehenga me te whakaipoipo, me ngā take hototahi i mua i te marena.

He aha te Tūnga-ā-Wāhi?

He whakaritenga kāore he whakamāramatanga mārama te hononga ā-wāhi. Tērā pea ka noho tahi kōrua ko tō hoa, ka piripono rānei, engari kāore he tapanga e hoatu ana ki tēnei hononga. E mārama ana ko kōrua nui atu i nga hoa, engari he hoa wahine/tāne tāne koe? Mēnā he pātai uaua tēnei, kei roto pea koe i tētahi āhuatanga, ehara i te whanaungatanga. 

tenei Reddit kaiwhakamahi i whakamārama pai i te whakautu ki te pātai "He aha te tūnga o te whanaungatanga?". "He momo whakaipoipo noa iho tēnei, e patu ana tetahi, tetahi rānei o ngā tāngata kia kitea rā anō he mea pai ake. I ētahi wā, kāore tetahi o rātou e mōhio koinei te āhua."

"Ko te tūāhua he āhua whakapoauau reka i waenga i te 'hoa noa' me te 'i roto i te whanaungatanga pumau'."

– Takuta Shefali Batra, tohunga hinengaro

Engari me pēhea te mōhio kei roto koe i tētahi āhuatanga? Anei ētahi tohu o tētahi āhuatanga e ai ki a Tākuta Batra:

• Kei te "noho tahi" tonu koe, kaua ki te haere ki ngā rā aroha tūturu
• Ka werawera tetahi, tetahi rānei o kōrua i ngā kōrero mō "te heke mai", ā, ka karohia te kaupapa mā te whakararuraru ohorere pērā i te, "Āe, he kurī ātaahua!" "Me tono nachos tāua!" rānei
• Kāore i te tino kitea te kore o ngā tapanga, ā, he tapu ngā kupu pēnei i te "hoa tāne" me te "wahine kōtiro"
• He rerekē ō kōrero, he rite tonu ngā karere kuputuhi ki ngā emoji me te wāhangu — kotahi meneti e rere ana me te mea he rotarota, ā, i tētahi meneti ka ngaro atu me te mea kua taka tō waea ki roto i te pōuri.
• Kua kī tonu tō hononga i te tohu whakauru — i tētahi rā ka uru katoa rātou, ā, i tētahi rā ka mutu, ka waiho koe me te mea kei te tākaro koe i tētahi kēmu o clue te mārama ki te tikanga o ngā tohutohu katoa

Te pānui e pā ana: 15 Ngā Tohu o te Whakaaetanga - E Aroha Ana a Phobe Ki a Koe

Ki te mea he mōhio koe ki ēnei tohu, kei roto pea koe i tētahi hononga tūāhua, ehara i te hononga whanaungatanga. Kaua e manukanuka, ehara koe i te mokemoke. He mea noa ngā hononga tūāhua i roto i te whakaipoipo hou, ā, ehara i te mea kino rawa atu mēnā e pai ana koe ki te koretake o te whakaaro, ā, e hiahia ana koe ki te pārekareka ki te wā. He mea whakapoauau pea ngā hononga tūāhua, engari, kāore i te tino hoha! 

Heoi, ki te mea kei te rapu koe i tētahi whanaungatanga pono, kaua e moumou taima i mua i te kōrero "He aha tāua?" hei whakamārama i ōu whakaaro, hei whakamutu hoki i ngā mea mēnā kāore ā rātou whāinga e hangai ki ōu.

He aha te whanaungatanga?

Ko te whanaungatanga, i tōna āhua māmā noa iho, he hononga i waenganui i te tokorua i hangaia i runga i te aroha tahi, te whakapau kaha, me ngā wheako tahi. Ehara i te mea he raupapa wā noa iho, he huarahi watea rānei ki te whai hoa Netflix—he wāhi hoki e whakatere ai te tokorua i ngā pikinga me ngā hekenga o te ao, me ngā wā "me kai tahi anō tāua?". 

Engari me pēhea koe e mōhio ai kei roto koe i tētahi hononga tūturu, ā, kāore koe i te noho noa i roto i tētahi atu kupu whakaipoipo papai? Anei ētahi ngā tohu whanaungatanga ka taea e koe te rapu, e ai ki tā Tākuta Batra i kī ai:

• Ka tīmata kōrua te mōhio ki ngā mahi o ia rā a tetahi, a tetahi—pēnei i te hiahia o rāua ki tā rāua kawhe i te 8:07 i te ata, i te kore rānei e kai parakuihi nā te mea he tomuri tonu rāua.
• Ka tīmata koe ki te whakamahi i ngā kōrero 'mātou' me te kore e mōhio—"Me whakamātau tāua i taua wāhi sushi hou," me te "E kino ana mātou ki te paināporo i runga i te pīta," ahakoa kāore koe e māharahara ana.
• Ka whakaurua aunoatia ēnei ki roto i ō mahere — "Kia mārama tō Rāhoroi i te wiki e tū mai nei, me haere tāua ki te marena o taku whanaunga" 
• Ka huri ō rātou raruraru hei raruraru māu—pēnei i te wā e pāngia ana tā rātou ngeru e te pōro huruhuru, ā, i tētahi wā, ko koe te tangata e rapu puku ana i te "kai ngeru pai rawa atu mō te ārai i ngā pōro huruhuru" i runga i te Google. 
• He pai ki a kōrua te mahi tahi i ngā mea hoha—te hokohoko kai, te whakarite anō i te kāpata mō ngā wā maha, te noho puku rānei i a kōrua e panuku ana i ā kōrua waea pūkoro. 

Ki te mea he mōhio koe ki ēnei tohu, ngā mihi nui ki a koe, kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga!—tērā rānei, kei te whakakahore koe i tēnā.

Te Āhuatanga me te Whānaungatanga: 8 Ngā Rerekētanga Matua

E ai ki ngā tohu kua whakahuatia ake nei, he tino rerekē ngā ariā o te whanaungatanga me te āhua o te whanaungatanga. Ahakoa e ahu mai ana ngā whanaungatanga i te māramatanga me te whakapau kaha, e kī ana ngā whanaungatanga i te koretake. Hei whakamārama ake, anei ētahi rerekētanga taipitopito i waenganui i te whanaungatanga me te āhua o te whanaungatanga:

1. Whakaaetanga

E kī ana a Tākuta Batra, "Ko te whakapau kaha i roto i te whanaungatanga he tikanga kei roto kōrua mō te wā roa, engari i roto i te whanaungatanga ā-wā, kei te eke noa kōrua i te ngaru." He hononga mārama kei roto i te whanaungatanga - e mārama ana kei te whai ngā hoa kia noho tahi mō te wā roa. Ka kōrerohia e rātou ngā mahere ā-mua, ka whakatakoto whāinga tahi. Engari, i roto i te whanaungatanga ā-wā, he uaua te whakapau kaha, ā, he maha ngā wā kāore i te mārama, ka waiho koe kia kore e mōhio ki te huarahi e anga atu ai ngā mea.

Te pānui e pā ana: 12 Ngā Tohutohu Hei Whakakore i ngā Take Whakapau

2. Te Panui

Te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i roto i te whanaungatanga He rite ki te mīhini kua oti te hinu te whakakī—he pai te rere o ngā mea katoa. Ka kōrerohia e kōrua ngā mahere, ngā kare ā-roto, tae atu ki te momo waiaro e pai ana ki a kōrua. I roto i te whanaungatanga, he rite te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ki te pānui i ngā tuhinga hieroglyphics. Tērā pea he ngaro ngā karere, he kī tonu rānei i ngā emojis e waiho ana i a koe kia pōhēhē. 

tenei Reddit kaiwhakamahi I kōrero mai ia i tana kōrero mō tōna āhua. "He tangata i haere tahi māua mō ētahi wā, he maha ngā marama e tuku karere ana ki ahau, kāore i whakatakoto mahere – kātahi ka whakatau ia i tētahi rā, ā, i te tūtakitanga, he nui te hononga me te hiahia. I haere mai ia me te tino ātaahua, ā, i kōrero mai ki ahau mō te nui o tōna wā whakamiharo, me tōna hiahia nui ki te kite anō i ahau. Engari kāore ia i whakautu mai ki aku pātai "kei te wātea ahau i te Wenerei me te Taite i tēnei wiki, me whakamōhio mai he aha te mea e pai ana ki a koe" mō ngā wiki e toru, nō reira i tono atu ahau kia mutu tana whakapā mai ki ahau."

"Ko te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero mārama te mana nui o te whanaungatanga, engari ko te whanaungatanga ā-roto he rite ki te kēmu tinihanga mutunga kore." – Tākuta Shefali Batra (MD i roto i te hinengaro), he tohunga ki te tohutohu mō te wehenga me te whakarere, te wehenga me te whakaipoipo, me ngā take hototahi i mua i te marena

3. Te noho a te ao papaho

Ko tētahi atu rerekētanga o te āhua me te whanaungatanga ko te taumata o te aroaro o te hunga pāpāho pāpori. I te nuinga o te wā, ka whakaaturia te whanaungatanga ki te marea pāpāho pāpori mā:

• Ngā whakaahua takirua ātaahua
• Ngā whakaahua o ngā koha kua whakawhitia
• Nga mihi huritau hei kōrero, hei pou rānei
• Ngā whakahōutanga tūnga mō ngā rā
• Whakahōu i te tūnga whanaungatanga i runga i te pukamata, me ētahi atu. 

I ētahi wā, he kōrero ā-kore noa iho ēnei tohutohu. He hoa tōku kāore i pai ki te tuku i tōna mata ki ngā pāpāho pāpori. I tana urunga ki tētahi whanaungatanga, ka tīmata ia ki te tuku kōrero. waiata aroha me te whakapuaki i ngā pou aroha ki ana kōrero. Ko te tikanga, e hiahia ana koe kia mōhio ō akonga kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga. 

Heoi, he maha ngā wā ka hunaia te whanaungatanga, he iti noa iho, kāore rānei e kitea i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori. Tērā pea ka whakawhitiwhiti kōrero pai, ka whakawhitiwhiti kōrero koretake rānei, engari he mea huna tonu te whanaungatanga piripono.

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Pānga o te Pāpāho Hapori ki ō Hononga

4. Te haumi ā-hinengaro

He rerekētanga nui te haumi kare ā-roto i waenganui i te whakaipoipo me te noho tahi. I roto i te whanaungatanga, ka tautoko ngā hoa tetahi i tetahi i ngā kare ā-roto. Ka whakanui ngātahi rātou i ā rātou wikitoria, ka whakamarie tetahi i tetahi i muri i tētahi rā uaua, ka pāngia e te kare ā-roto o tetahi, ā, ka aro nui ki te oranga kare ā-roto o tā rātou hoa. 

Kāore tēnei tautoko e kitea i roto i tētahi whakaritenga. Ā, he pai tēnā mēnā e pai ana ngā hoa e rua ki tēnei whakaritenga. Ka puta te raruraru ina tumanako tetahi hoa kia whai wāhi te hoa ki te whanaungatanga engari e pai ana tetahi ki te noho i roto i tētahi whakaritenga wātea.

E whakamārama ana a Tākuta Batra penei, "He mea nui te tautoko kare ā-roto mō te whanaungatanga, engari ko te āhua o te noho i roto i tētahi āhuatanga ka rite ki te hurihuri kare ā-roto me te kore he pae haumaru."

5. Te oranga hapori

I roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, i muri i ētahi marama, ka whakamōhiotia koe e tō hoa ki ōna hoa, ā, i te mutunga, ki tōna whānau anō hoki. E hiahia ana rātou kia mōhio ngā tāngata o roto i tō rātou ao ki a koe, me te rerekētanga. Engari ko te hoa noho-ā-roto e pai ake ana ki te pupuri i tō ingoa huna. Tērā pea ka kōrero rātou ki ō rātou hoa mō te āhuatanga tonu, engari ka mangere ki te whakaatu i tō tuakiri ki a rātou.

6. Whakanuia

Ko te motuhaketanga he tohu nui o te whanaungatanga, te āhua rānei. I roto i te nuinga o ngā whanaungatanga tuku iho, ka whakaae ngā hoa kia noho motuhake, kia kaua e kite i tētahi atu. Ahakoa ngā tūāhua rerekē pērā i te polyamorous, te hononga tuwhera, ka matapakihia, ka whakaaetia hoki ngā tikanga o te kore-motuhake e ngā hoa e rua. Engari, ko te hunga i roto i tētahi āhuatanga kāore e kōrero "he motuhake mātou?", ā, ka waiho hei mea whakapoauau.

Te pānui e pā ana: Teiti Motuhake: Ehara i te mea he whanaungatanga pumau

7. Te whakamahere ā meake nei

Ko tētahi atu rerekētanga i waenganui i te whakaipoipo me te noho tahi ko te whakamahere mō āpōpō. hononga wā roa kei roto ko te whakamahere ā meake nei — kei hea te ahunga o te whanaungatanga? Kei roto i tā tātou whārite te marena? Kei te tuwhera tātou ki te whakaaro kia whānau tamariki ā tētahi rā? Ka aha mēnā me neke tētahi o tātou ki te mahi? Ka kōrerohia ēnei pātai katoa i ngā wā tika i roto i te whanaungatanga, me te kore whakaroa. 

Ko te whanaungatanga ā-tūranga, i tētahi atu taha, he mea hanga i runga i te koretake. Kāore he kōrero mō ngā kaupapa nui, kāore he rohe i whakatakotoria, kāore he whāinga i whakamāramahia — ka rere noa te hononga i runga i te kaupapa haere-me-te-rere, ā, e kore koe e mōhio āhea ka whanga mai te wehenga o te whanaungatanga ā-tūranga ki a koe.

Te pānui e pā ana: 25 Ngā Pātai Hei Pātai I mua i te Marena Hei Whakarite Mō Te Ao o Muri Mai

8. Whakatau raruraru

E mea ana a Tākuta Batra, "Ko te whakatau i ngā taupatupatu i roto i te whanaungatanga he mahi matatau, he mahi ā-rōpū, engari ko te noho tahi i roto i te raruraru ka waiho pea koe kia mau tonu i roto i te paru." Ina tūtaki koe ki tētahi taupatupatu i roto i te whanaungatanga, ka mahi tahi kōrua ki te whakaoti rapanga, ā, ka puta kaha ake kōrua nā te mea ko te whāinga kia noho tahi mō te wā roa. 

Heoi, kāore i roto i te āhuatanga te haumi kare ā-roto e hiahiatia ana mō te pakeke te taupatupatu tautoheKa hunaia te raruraru, ā, ka whakaari kōrua kāore he mea i tupu, ka mutu rānei te pakanga ki te wehenga o te whanaungatanga. 

Ka taea e te whanaungatanga te huri hei whanaungatanga?

Ina mōhio koe kei roto koe i tētahi āhuatanga, ko te pātai tuatahi ka puta ake i roto i tōu mahunga ko "Ka taea e tāua te neke whakamua mai i tēnei āhuatanga ki tētahi whanaungatanga?" Ka taea e koe, engari ko ngā tohu ka huri hei whanaungatanga kāore pea i te tino māmā pērā i te pūrākau pakiwaitara aroha. 

Hei tauira, tenei Reddit kaiwhakamahi i kōrero mō te hurihanga o tōna āhua hei whanaungatanga. "He maha ngā wā whakamīharo i mua i te 'kōrerorero', ā, he pono tana kōrero mō te hiahia noa ki te whakangā me te kite me pēhea te haere….Kāore au i te tino rapu i tetahi mea engari i kite wawe ahau i ngā pūmanawa. Heoi, i pupuri tonu ahau i te hinengaro whakaipoipo ngāwari me te ngahau. Inaianei kua noho tahi māua, ā, kua arohaina māua."

Te pānui e pā ana: He aha te āhua o te aroha pono i roto i te whanaungatanga?

I tā mātou pātai atu ki a Tākuta Batra mō tēnei, i tūtohu ia i ēnei tohutohu hei ārahi i tētahi āhuatanga ki tētahi hononga pono.

• Tīmata ki te whakapau i te wā roa atu ki te noho tahiKaua e piri noa ki ngā huihuinga pō, ki ngā hui tūpono rānei. Whakamaherehia he haerenga mo te po, me te whakaaro rānei kia haere tahi kōrua i tētahi pō whakatā. Ina whakaritea e kōrua he wā mō kōrua, ka kite kōrua mēnā he pai te whakapai ake i tēnei āhuatanga

• Whakaaturia rātou ki ō hoa, kia tūtaki hoki ki ō rātou hoaKāore e huna ana i roto i ngā atarangi, kāore hoki e noho ko "taua tangata" e whakahuatia ana e rātou i ētahi wā. Karangatia rātou ki ngā mahi a tō rōpū, ā, whakatenatenahia rātou kia karanga mai hoki i a koe. Ki te tīmata te katoa ki te kōrero whakakatakata mō tō tūnga hei hoa rangatira, he tohu tēnei ka huri hei whanaungatanga.

• whai ngā kōrero hohonu akeHei huri i tō āhua hei whanaungatanga, Kaua e kōrero noa mō ngā raupapa hou e matakitaki ana koe, mō te aha rānei hei kai mā te tina. Kōrerohia ō moemoeā, ō wehi, me ngā mea rerekē e mahia ana e koe i a koe e noho mokemoke ana. Mēnā kei te hiahia tonu rātou i muri i te rongonga i a koe e waiata ana i te kaukau, kei te mōhio koe ki tētahi mea.

• Whakamaherehia ngā mea i mua i te wāĀta karohia ngā mahere whakamutunga, ngā karere rānei "kei te pai koe?". Tīmata ki te whakarite i ngā rā tūturu i te wiki, i ngā wiki e rua rānei i mua. Ina whakaae rātou ki te whakarite i ō rātou oranga i a koe, ka mōhio koe kei te whai kiko tēnei āhuatanga.

• Tīmatahia te kōrero mō te motuhaketangaAe, he whakamataku, engari ki te mea kei te pā mai te wehi, pātai atu ki a rātou me pēhea tā rātou tirohanga ki tēnei. Ki te kore rātou e mataku, engari ka piko atu, kei te anga tika koe ki te tūnga whanaungatanga.

Mā ēnei mahi koe e āwhina ki te neke atu i tētahi āhuatanga ki tētahi whanaungatanga — mā te iti rawa rānei ka mōhio koe mēnā kua tae ki te wā hei neke atu. Ahakoa pēhea, kua tata koe te whiwhi tirohanga!

Pātai Auau

Thoughts Final 

He rerekētanga nui kei waenganui i te whanaungatanga me te whanaungatanga. Ahakoa e ahu mai ana te whanaungatanga i te whakapau kaha me te māramatanga, kāore i te tautuhia ngā āhuatanga o te whanaungatanga. Ko ētahi o ngā rerekētanga nui o te whakaipoipo me te whanaungatanga ko te taumata o te haumi kare ā-roto, te motuhaketanga kua whakaaetia, te whakamahere ā-muri, te tikanga whakatau pakanga, me ētahi atu. Heoi anō, ka taea e te whanaungatanga te huri hei whanaungatanga mēnā ka whakapau kaha ngā kaiuru ki te mōhio pai ake tetahi ki tetahi, me te whai wāhi nui atu ki te oranga o tetahi ki tetahi.

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.