He hoa pai tō te nuinga o te tangata i te mahi. Kei te mōhio koe, ko ia te tangata e kōrero ana koe i roto i ngā katakata, e kōrero ana i ngā kōrero, ā, e whakamōhio ana hoki i te āhua o te rangatira. Ahakoa kāore koe i te mōhio, ka tino piripono kōrua, ā, ka pau te rā katoa e kōrero ana i ngā kōrero. E whakaaro ana koe kua kitea e koe tō hoa rangatira i te mahi. Tērā pea ko tō hoa rangatira ko tō hoa wahine, ko tō hoa tāne rānei i te mahi.
I puta tuatahi mai te kupu nei i te tau 1930 i roto i te pukapuka a Faith Baldwin, 'The Office Wife', ā, he tikanga noa iho tēnei e whakamahia ana i roto i te nuinga o ngā wāhi mahi. He rite te whanaungatanga ki te hoa mahi ki ngā āhuatanga katoa o te marena, engari ko te whanaungatanga aroha, te whanaungatanga moepuku rānei. Āe, e ai ki te BBC, "Ko ngā marena rūpahu pai rawa atu ko te momo 9-5."
Mena ka whakatakotohia e koe ngā rohe tika mō te wahine mahi, ka taea e tēnei hononga whakatā te whakamāmā ake i ngā rā pōuri i te wāhi mahi. Heoi, ko te wā ka tīmata te pōuri o ngā rohe, ka puta pea te raruraru. I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ka taea e te hoa mahi te whakauru atu ki ētahi atu āhuatanga o tō oranga. Mena kua moe tāne kē koe, kua piripono rānei ki tētahi whanaungatanga, ka puta pea he raruraru i te pararaiha.
Ahakoa rā, he kino pea te whai wāhi nui rawa atu ki tō hoa mahi, ki tō hoa mahi rānei, nā te mea ka kitea pea e koe kāore e pumau tonu ngā āhuatanga o tō whanaungatanga i waho o te wāhi mahi mō te wā roa, ā, ka pā kino pea tō hononga ki a koe. Mena kei a koe tētahi tangata motuhake i roto i tō ao e tika ana hei hoa mahi māu, he mea nui kia āta tirohia kia kore ai koe e takahi i ngā rohe o tō whanaungatanga.
Ko wai te wahine mahi?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Ko ētahi tāngata he hoa mahi ā rātou, ā, ko ētahi he hoa mahi ā rātou. Ko te kupu "hoa mahi" he kupu Amerikana e whakamahia ana hei tohu i tētahi hoa mahi e hono tahi ana kōrua, he rite ki te whanaungatanga i waenganui i te tāne me te wahine. Ko te tikanga o te "wahine mahi" ka tino whakarapopototia ki tēnei whakamāramatanga - "He hoahoa motuhake, whakapūmau ki tētahi hoa mahi e tohuhia ana e te hononga kare ā-roto tata, te nui o te whakapuakitanga me te tautoko, me te whakawhirinaki, te pono, te pono, me te whakaute."
E mārama ana i te tikanga o te wahine mahi, ehara tēnei tangata i tāu wahine tūturu, engari he hoa mahi tata, ā, he hoa piripono tō kōrua. Mēnā he mahi e pā ana ki te mahi, ka tino mahi tahi kōrua ko tāu wahine mahi. Engari he whanaungatanga whakawhanaunga noa iho tā kōrua – ehara i te mea he moepuku, he aroha hoki.
Heoi, ina mahi tahi koe me tētahi, ā, he nui ake te wā e noho tahi ana koe me ia i ia rā, i ia rā, ka uaua pea tēnei āhuatanga. Ehara i te mea onge te kukume i te hoa mahi, engari he pono ka raru pea, ehara i te mea mō tō whanaungatanga anake, engari mō ētahi atu āhuatanga anō hoki o tō oranga.
Hei tauira, he aha te mea ka tupu ina tae mai te whakaaro "Kei te aroha ahau ki taku hoa mahi" ā, he kaupapa here pakari tā tō wāhi mahi e aukati ana i ngā whanaungatanga aroha i te wāhi mahi ? Kei te hurihuri rānei koe i waenga i te "Aroha ana ahau ki taku wahine mahi" me te "Aroha ana ahau ki taku wahine tūturu".
Hei karo i ēnei momo mahanga, he mea nui kia whakatakotohia he rohe tika mō te hoa mahi. Mō tēnā, me whakaae tuatahi koe he hoa mahi tōu, ā, ka taea e taua tangata te whakahaere i tō oranga mēnā kāore koe e whakahaere pai i te whanaungatanga.
Ngā Tohu He Hoa Mahi Tāu
Mā te whai hoa mahi ka nui ake tō harikoa me tō hua i tō wāhi mahi. Ka piki ake tō wairua, ā, ka kitea tēnei i roto i tō mahi. He tokomaha kua whai hoa mahi kē, engari kāore i te mōhio. Ki te mea he hononga motuhake tōu ki tētahi i te wāhi mahi, kua whiwhi kē koe i tāu hoa! Tirohia ēnei tohu kia mōhio ai koe he hoa mahi tō hoa mahi i taua wā katoa:
- Ka tina tahi kōrua ko ia i ia rā: Kāore koe e noho ko koe anake, e kai tina ana. Kei reira tō hoa mahi hei hoa mōu i ia rā. Kāore koe e hiahia ki te whakarite i tētahi tūru mō rāua, i te mea e mōhio ana te tari katoa kei te kai tahi kōrua, nō reira ka tono atu ētahi atu hoa mahi kia noho koe ki tā rātou tēpu, kia noho tahi rānei ki tāu tēpu.
- He maha ngā kōrero whakakatakata a roto i a koe: He āhua pai te kōrero whakakatakata e mārama ana ki tāu hoa mahi anake. I ētahi wā, he menemene noa iho, ā, ka mārama ia ki te kōrero whakakatakata. E mōhio ana koe he hoa mahi tāu, ina taea e kōrua te whakapuaki me te mārama ki ngā karere a tētahi ki tētahi mā te titiro noa, mā te pōkaikaha rānei o ō kōrua rūma iti.
- Kei reira tonu ia hei tautoko i a koe: Ina pēhia koe e te taumaha o te mahi, kei reira ia hei tautoko i te hinengaro me te hinengaro. Ka taea e koe te whakawhirinaki ki a ia hei whakapai ake i tō rā. Ahakoa he rā kotahi i te tari me te kore tō hoa rangatira i tō taha, he āhua uaua rawa atu.
- Ka waiho e kōrua ngā koha a tētahi ki tētahi i runga i te tēpu: He pai ki a kōrua te waiho i ngā mea ohorere iti ki runga i ngā tēpu o tētahi ki tētahi. He tino pārekareka ēnei mea ohorere me ngā koha nā te mea e mōhio ana kōrua tetahi ki tetahi, pērā i te tuara o ō kōrua ringaringa.
- E mōhio ana ia ki ngā mea katoa: Ahakoa tō rā whānau, tō huritau marena rānei, e mōhio ana ia ki ngā mea katoa. Tērā pea ka wareware koe i ēnei rā engari kāore ia e wareware, ā, tērā pea ka whakamahara anō ia i a koe. Ehara i te mea ko ngā huihuinga nui anake, engari e mōhio ana ia, e maumahara ana hoki ki ngā kōrero iti rawa mōu – te pai o tō kawhe, te maha o ngā hāte kikorangi kei a koe, te pouaka e pupuri ana koe i ō hikareti huna, me ērā atu mea anō.
Ahakoa te āhua nei he pūnaha tautoko nui te hononga hoa mahi. Heoi anō, he ngoikoretanga ō ngā marena katoa, tae atu ki ngā marena 9-5. Kei te pakaru haere hoki tō marena mahi? Kua whiti kē kōrua ko tō hoa mahi i ngā rohe mahi, ā, kua uru atu ki roto i tō kōrua oranga whaiaro? He hoa mahi tāu, he pai hoki ōna painga? Nā te mea, ka tere te memeha o ngā rohe i waenga i te whakahoahoa harakore me te hihiri moepuku . Kātahi pea ka tae ki te wā ki te arotake anō i tō whārite me te whakatakoto i ētahi rohe mārama mō te hoa mahi.
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13 Ngā Tohu Kei te Whakahaerehia tō Ao e tō Wahine Mahi
Tērā pea ka tino whakawhirinaki koe ki tō hoa mahi, ā, kāore e taea e koe te whakaaro i tētahi taiao kāore he hoa mahi. Ka tipu haere tēnei ā, ka whakaaro koe kāore e taea e koe te mahi i te ngaro o tō hoa mahi. Tērā pea kāore koe e whakawhiti i tō mahi nā te wehi kei ngaro tō hoa mahi, ā, kāore hoki e tukua kia haere ngā whai wāhitanga pai ake.
Ka puta ake he hononga ā-roto i roto i tō ao, ā, ka whakaaro koe mēnā ka kiia he tinihanga. Tērā pea ka whakapaehia koe mō te kore e aro nui ki tō whānau, ā, ka uaua haere ngā mea. "E aroha ana ahau ki taku wahine mahi. Ka āwhina ia i ahau i ngā huarahi kāore e taea e taku hoa wahine. Engari kāore au i te mōhio mēnā he rite tonu ōna whakaaro ki ahau, ā, kāore au e hiahia ki te whakararu i aku mea kei a ia," te kōrero a Marwin ki tētahi hoa, me te kore e whakaatu i ngā taipitopito mōna.
Kātahi ka aro atu tōna hoa ki a Marwin ki te meka kei te whakahaere tana wahine mahi i tōna ao, ā, tera pea ka nui te utu mō tēnei whārite uaua. Pērā i a Marwin, kei te raru rawa koe i te kukume i te hoa mahi, ā, kei te raru koe ki te pupuri i ngā rohe o tēnei whanaungatanga motuhake? Kia aro ki ēnei tohu whero hei kimi i te whakautu:
1. Ka heke te hua o tō mahi
Ahakoa e kīia ana ka piki ake te hua o te mahi mā te whai hoa mahi, ka pā kino anō hoki ki a ia, inā koa ka puta ake ō whakaaro mō tō hoa mahi. Ka ngaro haere tō hiahia ki tō mahi, ā, ko te take mō te haere ki te mahi ka haere mārire ki te whakapau wā me te kōrero pakiwaitara ki tō hoa mahi. Ka tīmata te pōuri o tō rangatira ina wehe atu koe i te tēpu ahakoa mō te inu kawhe.
Ko tētahi o ngā tohu nui o te kukume i te hoa mahi ko te noho tahi me rāua hei wā tino nui o tō wā i te mahi. Ko te kitenga i tō hoa mahi hei hihiri anake mōu ki te haere ki te mahi i ia rā. Ki te kore ēnei kare ā-roto e taurite, ki te kore rānei tētahi o kōrua e piripono ki tētahi hononga, ka tere te kore e taea te whakahaere i ngā mea.
2. Ka noho whaiaro ki te hoa mahi
Ina tata rawa koe ki tō hoa wahine mahi, ka tīmata te memeha haere o ō rohe whaiaro me ō rohe mahi, kāore koe e mōhio. Ka whakapuaki koe i ō mea ngaro hohonu ki a ia, me te whakaaro ko ia tō hoa whakawhirinaki, ā, ka huri tō whanaungatanga ki a ia hei mea whaiaro. Ka tīmata ia ki te mahi i taua mea anō, ā, i mua i tō mōhio, kua kore kōrua e noho hei hoa mahi noa iho.
Ka taea e tēnei momo whanaungatanga te arahi ki te kukume kaha i ngā taha e rua, ā, ka mutu pea koe ki tētahi āhuatanga wahine mahi me ngā āwhina. Hei tauira, i mutu a Joe rāua ko Amanda i tētahi pō moepuku whakarihariha, whakamīharo i muri i te tūtakitanga i waho o te tari mō te inu.
Nā te mea kāore i tino mārama te tautuhi i ngā tumanakohanga, ka tere te pōhēhē o tā rāua whārite i muri i tērā. Kāore i taea e Joe te whakarērea te kare ā-roto "Aroha ana ahau ki taku wahine mahi" engari ko Amanda kāore anō kia rite mō te whanaungatanga whānui.
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3. Ka tōia koe e ia ki raro
Ina he rite te taumata hinengaro o ngā hoa mahi e rua, ka āwhina tetahi i tetahi kia pai ake ai tā rāua mahi. Engari, ki te mea ko tāu wahine mahi te tino rerekētanga o te kaimahi o te marama, ka tōia hoki koe e ia ki raro. Tērā pea ka huri tōna awe ki tō oranga hei tangata mahi noa pērā i a ia.
He pono rawa tēnei mēnā kei roto koe i te wā "aroha ki taku hoa mahi", kei te aro atu rānei tō hoa mahi ki a koe , nā te mea kua rite pea koe ki te mahi i ngā mea katoa hei kukume i a ia – ahakoa te whakarērea o te mahi kia roa ake ai te wā ki a ia, te tango rānei i te wā mōna hei utu mō ō ake kawenga ngaio.
4. Kua kati koe i a koe anō ki ētahi atu whanaungatanga
Nā te nui o tō hononga ki tō hoa mahi, ko ia anake tō whanaungatanga i te mahi. Kāore koe i waiho i tētahi wāhi hei whakawhanake i ngā whanaungatanga hoahoa me ētahi atu hoa mahi, ā, ka whakararu i ō whanaungatanga mahi. Kāore rātou e kite i a koe hei hoa mō rātou, ā, ina tono koe i ētahi āwhina ki a rātou, ka kore rātou e pai ki te mahi.
Ki te kore e tika te whakahaere i tētahi hononga ki te hoa mahi, ka nui te wā me te wāhi e pau ana i a koe, ā, kāore e waiho he wāhi hei whakawhanaungatanga ki ētahi atu hoa mahi. I roto i te maha o ngā mahi, ka waiho pea tēnei hei arai i tō tipu mahi.
5. Kāore ngā waea e noho tonu ki te tari
Kāore tō kōrua whanaungatanga ki tāu hoa wahine mahi e noho noa i ngā tatau o tō kōrua tari i muri i tētahi wā. Ka tīmata kōrua ki te kōrero whaiaro, ehara i te kōrero noa iho i roto i te tari. Mā te pupuri tonu i tō kōrua whanaungatanga ki tua atu i tō kōrua wāhi mahi, kua whiti kōrua i te rohe o te noho hoa mahi anake.
Kāore e roa, ka tīmata kōrua te noho tahi i ngā hāora kore mahi, mēnā kāore anō kia pērā. He tohu mārama tēnei o te hiahia o te hoa mahi ki te hoa rangatira, ā, ka tere tonu te huri hei whanaungatanga nui, hei whanaungatanga tari rānei mēnā kua piripono kē tetahi o kōrua. Pātai atu ki a koe anō, "Kua rite ahau ki te kawe i ngā mea ki tētahi taumata e whai ake nei me taku hoa mahi?" Ki te kore, kua tae ki te wā ki te whakatakoto i ētahi rohe mārama mō te hoa mahi.
6. Ka tīmata tētahi o koutou ki te hopu i ngā kare ā-roto
Ki te kore koe e whakatakoto ture taketake, ā, e mahi i roto i ō rohe, ka tae mai te wā ka kaha te mana o ngā kare ā-roto, ā, ka puta te aroha o tētahi o kōrua ki tētahi. Ina huri te whanaungatanga mahi ki te aroha me te kare ā-roto, ka uaua haere ngā mea. Koinei te wā me rapu koe i tētahi huarahi hei wehe atu i tāu hoa wahine mahi.
I tūtaki a Susan ki a Priya i te pāti tari a tana tāne, ā, i kitea e ia he tino āwangawanga tō rāua piripono me te whanaungatanga. "I te whakaoti i ngā kōrero a tētahi ki tētahi, me te kata ki ngā katakata o roto. I tino kaha rawa atu a Priya ki te mahi ā-rohe ki taku tāne. Ko te kitenga i te hoa mahi o tāu tāne e takaro ana ki a ia me te kore whakama he mea tino kawa ki te horomia. Ahakoa ko ia tana wahine, i rite ahau ki te tangata o waho i roto i te whārite. I mārama ki ahau i taua rā he wahine mahi tā taku tāne, ā, he aroha anō tōna ki a ia."
"Ahakoa i warewarehia e taku tāne aku āwangawanga i taua wā, kāore i roa ka huri tō rāua hononga hei hononga aroha nui. Nā tana wahine mahi me te whārite o ngā painga i ngaro ai taku marena."
7. Kāore he oranga mōu ake
Mā te whakakotahi i tō oranga mahi me tō oranga whaiaro, kāore he oranga motuhake āu. Kei te whakarōpū tonu koe i waenga i te mahi, te kāinga me ngā kawenga e pā ana ki ngā mea e rua. Ki te mea kei te aro tonu koe ki te mahi, ka kitea pea koe e tanumia ana e te nui o ngā mahi e toe ana, ā, kāore pea he wā hei mahi i tētahi atu mea.
Kei te mau tonu koe i tō mahi. Me te mea nei kāore i ranea te whakapau kaha ki te whakatutuki i tētahi marena, inaianei me whakatau tahi kōrua ko tō hoa wahine mahi.
8. He pai ake ki a koe te noho tahi me ia, kaua ki tētahi atu
Ka kitea e koe te whiriwhiri i tāu wahine mahi, kaua i tō whānau me ō hoa. Mēnā ka tukuna he kōwhiringa i waenga i te ngahau me tō hoa, te kai tina me tāu wahine me ā rāua tamariki, me te mātaki kiriata me tāu wahine mahi, ka whiriwhiria e koe te mea whakamutunga. Ka mahi koe i tēnei nā te mea e whakaaro ana koe he huringa hou te noho tahi me ia i ngā mahi o te ao, engari whakapono mai ki a mātou, tērā pea kāore tēnei kare ā-roto e mau tonu ake ake.
Ko te mea ko tō hoa mahi te mea nui rawa atu i roto i tō ao, he tohu anō hoki kāore tō kōrua whanaungatanga e rite ana ki te mea noa. Kāore he take ki te huna i te reo "Aroha ana ahau ki taku wahine mahi" i roto i tō mahunga, nā te mea e mōhio ana koe, pērā i a mātou, kua mau aua kare ā-roto. Ko tāu mahi he hoki whakamuri, ka arotake me pēhea e hiahia ana koe ki te whakahaere i tēnei whanaungatanga i ngā rā kei mua.
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9. Ka noho te tari hei papa pakanga ina ngaro i a ia
Kāore tō oranga ngaio e noho ko te mahi anake. Me mahi tahi anō hoki koe me tō hoa wahine mahi, inā koa mēnā kei te pāngia koe e ngā raruraru. Kāore he whanaungatanga e pai ana, ā, tera pea ka pāngia koe e ētahi raruraru me tō hoa wahine mahi anō hoki. Nā te mea he whanaungatanga whaiaro tō kōrua, me whakatikatika koe i a ia mēnā ka huri te āhua, ka huri rānei te āhua.
Kāore e taea e koe te aro ki tāu mahi, me aro atu hoki koe ki a ia . Mēnā ko koe te tangata e pōuri ana, kāore e taea e koe te kore e tono atu i a ia kia aro atu. Kāore e taea e koe te wareware i ō raruraru whaiaro i te kāinga, nā te mea kei te mahi anō hoki.
10. Kāore he tangata kē atu hei haere atu māu
Ka huri whakarere tō oranga ki tāu hoa mahi. Kua ngaro tō hononga ki ō hoa nā te mea kua kitea tō hoa pai hou. Ko te nuinga o āu mahi e huri ana ki a ia, mai i te kai tina tahi ki te mātaki kiriata. E whakaaro ana koe ko ia te otinga mō ngā mea katoa, engari ko te mea pono, kua āraia e koe ō hoa kē atu.
Whakaarohia te mea ka tupu mēnā ka huri mahi tō hoa mahi, ka neke atu rānei ō kare ā-roto i muri i te kitenga i tētahi hononga whai tikanga ake me tētahi atu. Kātahi anō ka noho mokemoke koe, ka noho mokemoke hoki. Nō reira, whakatakotohia, kia piri ki ngā rohe o tō hoa mahi, kia kore ai ia e noho hei rangatira mō tō ao.
11. Kei te mataku tō hoa tūturu
Kei te mataku tō hoa tūturu nā tō whanaungatanga tata ki tō hoa wahine mahi. Tērā pea ka whakapae ia ki tō whanaungatanga ki tō hoa wahine mahi, ā, ka uru pea te hae me te kore whakawhirinaki ki roto i tō kōrua whanaungatanga.
Āe, kāore e taea te whakapae i a ia! Ehara i te mea harikoa te whakaaro "He wahine mahi tā taku tāne" me "He tata ake taku hoa tāne ki tana hoa mahi". Mēnā ka nui rawa te hiranga o tō hoa mahi, ā, ka pāngia tō whanaungatanga matua, ka puta he raruraru. Ki te kore koe e mahi i ngā mahi matatau hei ārai i tēnei āhuatanga, tera pea ka pā kino te hononga o tō hoa mahi ki tō whanaungatanga ki tō wahine, ki tō hoa wahine rānei.
12. Ka tīmata kōrua te whakamihi i te mahi a tētahi ki tētahi
Ka tono atu rānei kōrua tetahi ki tetahi kia āwhina i a kōrua i roto i ngā kaupapa nunui? Ka whakaae kōrua ki te āwhina, ā, i mua i tō kōrua mōhio, kua oti katoa i a kōrua. E hiahia ana kōrua ki te āwhina tetahi i tetahi, engari i tētahi atu taha, he mamae tonu te ngākau ina kotahi anake o kōrua e whiwhi ana i te mihi mō taua mahi katoa. Ina tupu tēnei, ka tīmata te tangata e mahi ana i te mahi me te kore e mihia mōna, ki te whakaaro kei te tukuna atu ki a ia te pito poto o te rākau.
Koinei te wā ka pōrearea, ka taupatupatu hoki tō whanaungatanga ki tō hoa rangatira i te mahi. Koia te hiranga o ngā rohe, me te pupuri tonu i ngā whanaungatanga mahi. Ahakoa ehara i te mea he whakataetae, ka taea tonu te huri hei whakataetae.
13. Ka tīmata ia ki te mahi pērā i te wahine tūturu, ā, ka pai koe ki te tāne
Kia tīmata tā kōrua kōrero mō ngā āhuatanga katoa, ka tīmata te huri o tō kōrua whanaungatanga. Ka tīmata koe ki te pātai atu ki a ia mō ngā mea katoa. Mai i ngā kākahu e whiriwhiria ana e koe mō ngā haerenga mahi ki te wā e hiahia ana koe ki te wehe atu i te mahi. Pērā anō hoki ia. I mua i tō mōhio, ka whai mana kōrua tetahi ki tetahi ki ngā whakataunga i waho atu i te mahi. Kei te whanonga kōrua pērā i te hoa rangatira tūturu, ā, kāore kōrua e mōhio me pēhea te whakamutu.
Ahakoa he tino whai hua te whai hoa wahine mahi, tera pea he taha kē atu anō hoki. He mea nui kia whakatakotohia ngā ture taketake, kia piri hoki ki aua ture kia mau tonu ai tō whanaungatanga i roto i ngā rohe o te ngaiotanga. Mena kei te whakahaere tō whanaungatanga i a koe e tō hoa wahine mahi, ā, kāore e waiho he wāhi mō ētahi atu whanaungatanga kia whanake, kua tae ki te wā kia mutu. Kia tūpato ki te hunga e tata ana koe ki te mahi, nā te mea ka pā kino ki te āhuarangi whānui o tō wāhi mahi. Kia mahara kei te haere mai koe ki konei ki te hanga mahi, ā, kia mōhio koe ki ngā mea kei te tūpono!
Te whakaipoipo i tētahi hoa mahi? Anei te huarahi hei whakahaere i te aroha o te tari
Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
Taria! He aha?? He hoa mahi. He kupu hou tēnei mōku, engari ko te mea kei te ako tonu ahau i ētahi o ngā ariā hou o tēnei paetukutuku "BONOBOLOGY" kāore au i te tino mōhio engari he nui ake te whakamere.