Te Wehenga me ngā Tamariki - 8 Ngā Pānga Hōhonu o te Wehenga Me Mōhio Ngā Mātua

Porohia te aroha

Ina pakaru ngā mea i roto i te marena, i tua atu i ngā hoa rangatira, ka tino uaua ki ngā tamariki, ā, ka tūtaki tonu rātou ki ngā hua o taua raruraru mō ō rātou oranga katoa. He uaua te whakarere me ngā tamariki – he mea kāore e tino mārama ana ki a tātou.

He tino pai te whakaaturanga o tēnei mooni i roto i te kiriata o te tau 1979 Kramer vs Kramer ko Meryl Streep rāua ko Dustin Hoffman ngā kaiārahi. Heoi, i te mea kua piki haere te tokomaha o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e mōhio ana ehara te whakataukī tawhito "me noho tahi mō ngā tamariki" i roto i te marena pouri i te otinga pai, kua whakatau rātou ki te wehe.

Ahakoa koinei te huarahi pai rawa atu māu, kaua te whakatau ki te whakamutu i te marena e tangohia me te kore e whai whakaaro ki te pānga o te whakarere ki ngā tamariki, me te whai mahere pūmau hoki hei whakatau i taua whakatau.

Ehara i te mea he hononga onge te whakarere me ngā tamariki. Ina hoki, ko te mea whakamere ko e 35% te nui ake o te tūponotanga ka wehe anō hoki ngā tamariki i whakarerea.

8 Ngā Pānga Kino o te Wehe ki ngā Tamariki

Ripanga o Ihirangi

He nui te pānga o te āhua o tō whakatau i te whakarere ki te āhua o te whakatau a āu tamariki. He tino mīharo ngā tikanga whakatau a ngā tamariki. Ki te whakaakona rātou ki ngā tikanga me ngā taputapu tika mō te whakatau, ā, ki te tiakina hoki i tēnei wā, ka taea e rātou te wikitoria i ngā raruraru katoa.

Mena kua tae kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira ki tētahi wā i roto i tō kōrua marena e ahua kore e taea te whakatau i ngā rerekētanga, i mua i te whakatau kia mutu, me whakaaro koe ki te pānga o te whakarere ki ngā tamariki. Ehara tēnei i te kī kei te noho tonu kōrua i roto i tētahi marena kore e tutuki, kāore rānei e harikoa. Engari me whakatakoto e kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira o mua he mahere kia maeneene ai tēnei whakawhiti uaua mō ngā tamariki.

Mā te mōhio ki ēnei pānga kino e waru o te whakarere ki ngā tamariki ka mārama koe ki te huarahi hei whakahaere i tēnei āhuatanga uaua:

1. He āhua hou

He wā tonu te whakarere i te āwangawanga, te pōhēhē, te pouri me ngā huringa maha mō ngā tamariki. E tūtaki ana ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ki ngā pānga o ngā tamariki nohinohi me te whakarere, me te uaua hoki ki te whakatau i tēnā. Ko te whakarere he tuku i a koe engari ehara taua tukanga i te mea ngāwari. He nui rawa ngā wero me ngā kare ā-roto e toe ana hei whakatau.

te whakarere me ngā tamariki — E kino ana ngā tamariki ki ngā mātua e whawhai ana

He maha ngā 'whanonga whakarerekētanga' e kitea ana i roto i ngā tamariki i a rātou e neke ana ki te ao hou o tō rātou ao. He tokomaha e whakakeke ana ki te whakaaro kia rua ngā kāinga motuhake, kia kotahi anake te mātua e noho tahi ana..

E manawapa ana rātou kei mutu te aroha o ō rātou mātua ki a rātou pērā i a rātou anō. Ko ētahi tamariki e whakaaro ana ko te wehenga nā rātou te he, e whakaaro ana nā rātou i mahi te take i puta ai te wehenga. Ko tēnei raruraru nui rawa atu ina tae mai ki te wehenga me ngā tamariki ko te wā e riro ana i te tamaiti te kawenga mō te wehenga.

Te pānui e pā ana: Me Wehe Koe? – Tangohia tēnei Rārangi Arowhai Wehe

2. Te mahi tahi me tētahi mātua

He maha ngā wā ka uaua ki ngā tamariki i tipu ake me ngā mātua e rua te noho tahi me te mātua takakau/mātua tiaki i muri i te wehenga. I a rātou e urutau ana ki te ao hou, ka pakaru ngā hononga ki te mātua tiaki, ko te nuinga he whaea.

I ētahi wā, kāore e taea e tēnei mātua, e whakarere ana i te wahine, te aro atu ki te urupare a te tamaiti ki te whakarere, te hoatu rānei ki a rātou te mea e hiahiatia ana hei whakaae i tēnei āhuatanga kino. Me pēhea te whakamārama i te whakarere ki te tamaiti he uaua ake i tā tātou i whakaaro ai.

I ēnei āhuatanga, ka kore e pumau te whiu, ka kore hoki e whai hua. Tērā pea ka tīmata te mātua ki te matara atu i te tamaiti.

te paanga o te whakarere ki nga tamariki — He uaua ake te whakamārama i te whakarere ki te tamaiti i tā tātou i whakaaro ai

Ko ngā pānga ā-tinana o te whakarere ki te tamaiti ko te noho pōuri o ngā tamariki, te pukuriri, te manukanuka, te hurihanga o te wairua, te pouri nui, te ngākau pouri me te mamae, te huna, te rapu utu me te takahi i ngā ture. He pānga kino poto ēnei o te whakarere ka ārai i te tipu hinengaro me te tipu ā-tinana o te tamaiti.

3. He mea whakararuraru nui

I te wā e pā ana ki te whakarere me ngā tamariki, me whakaaro koe ki te ahotea ka puta mai i ngā huringa me ngā whakarerekētanga maha i roto i ō rātou hinengaro taitamariki, ngāwari nei te whakarere. I te mea kei tawhiti tetahi mātua tiaki me tetahi atu, ka kite te tamaiti i te whakarere hei ahotea e whakarerekē ana i tōna ao.

I ētahi wā, me huri tāone, kura ngā tamariki a ngā mātua kua whakarerea, me ngaro te hononga ki tētahi o ngā mātua, me neke ki tētahi kāinga hou, me kimi hoa hou, me noho tahi ki ngā rohe hou, me te taunga ki te noho o tētahi anake o ngā mātua i roto i ō rātou oranga o ia rā.

Mēnā ka whakatau te mātua tiaki ki te moe anō, ko te ahotea o te whānau mai i ngā tuākana/teina hou me te urutau ki te whānau hou ka waiho hei atu ahotea.

4. Te pikinga ake o ngā raruraru whanonga

Ngā whanonga pōrearea, te hekenga o ngā māka i te kura, te whanonga ohorere, te whanoke me te taupatupatu ki ō rātou hoa, ki ngā tuākana, teina rānei, ki te mātua rānei i te kāinga. I ētahi wā ka kite ngā tamariki ko tētahi anake te mātua kei te whakahaere, ā, kāore tētahi i te whakahaere, ka takahi rātou i ngā ture me te whakaaro ka taea e rātou te mawhiti.

Ko tēnei āhua o te whanoke me te kore e taea te whakahaere ka waiho hei huarahi mō te riri ki te whakatau a ngā mātua ki te wehe. He huinga mōrearea te whakarere me ngā tamariki nā te mea ehara i te mea ko te tamaiti anake e pāngia ana e ngā āhuatanga kino o waho, engari me urutau hoki ki ngā raruraru o roto.

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5. Whēkenga mōrearea

Ko ngā tamariki kua whakarerea ō rātou mātua he nui ake te tūponotanga ki te whai i ngā whanonga mōrearea pērā i te whakamahi kino i ngā matū, te moepuku i te wā tōmua, te whakamahi waipiro me ngā raau taero, te mahi hara me ērā atu mea. He rōpū mōrearea nui hoki rātou mō te whai i ngā mahi moepuku i mua i te 16 tau te pakeke.

Ko te korenga o te marena o ngā mātua tētahi o ngā tino take o te koretake o te noho haumaru. Nā tēnei koretake, ka uru atu rātou ki ngā mahi hauora hei whakamama i ngā taumahatanga ki a rātou anō.

6. Ka pā ki ngā māka

tamariki a nga matua kua whakarerea — Ka taea e te whakarere a ngā mātua te whakaroa i ngā akoranga a ngā tamariki

He wā whakawātea tēnei mō ngā mātua me ngā tamariki. Mō ngā tamariki, he wā tino pōhēhē, he wā whakarihariha hoki. Tērā pea ka pā tēnei ki ā rātou māka me te wā ako i a rātou e ngana ana ki te mārama ki ngā mahi o te kāinga, ā, ka waiho i ā rātou akoranga ki muri.

He maha ngā wā ka uru ngā mātua ki ngā tautohe whakarere, ki ngā whakaritenga rānei i muri i te whakarere, ka hē tonu rātou, ā, ka kore e aroturuki i ngā akoranga a ngā tamariki, e āwhina rānei i a rātou ki te ako.

Koinei te wā ka tīmata te heke o ā rātou māka, ka puta he huringa nui, ā, ka roa pea te wā ki te whakatika.

7. Te mōrearea nui o ngā mate hinengaro

Kua whakaatuhia e ngā rangahau he maha ngā raruraru hinengaro me ngā raruraru urutau mō ngā tamariki a ngā mātua kua whakarerea, ahakoa ō rātou tau, ira tangata me te ahurea. I kitea anō hoki e rātou he nui ake te manukanuka me te pouri i waenga i ngā tamariki kua ngā mātua kua whakarerea.

8. Pakeke raruraru whanonga

He maha ngā tamariki e kite ana i ō rātou mātua e wehe ana, e moe anō ana, e noho takitahi ana rānei, e kawe ana i ngā take kāore anō kia whakatauhia mai i tēnei wāhanga o te ao ki tō rātou pakeketanga me ngā whanaungatanga pakeke. Ka taea e tēnei te whakatupu i roto i a rātou he Tuhinga o mua he āhua rānei ki te whakangaro i ngā whanaungatanga, e aukati ana i a rātou ki te whakawhanake i ngā whanaungatanga hauora i roto i ō rātou ao. He tokomaha ka whanake haere i ngā raruraru hinengaro, ka pā ki tō rātou hauora hinengaro, ā, ka arahi atu ki te whakamahi kino i ngā matū.

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Noho tahi me te Tangata Waipiro Ngā Mea e Tika ana Koe, Ngā Mea Kāore e Tika ana!

Ngā Kōrero a te Tohunga Mō te Wehenga me ngā Tamariki

Kaiwhakaora hinengaro me te tohunga hinengaro Tākuta Shefali Batra E whakamārama ana i ngā pānga o te whakarere ki ngā whanonga a ngā tamariki ka taea e ngā mātua te tirotiro me te aro atu i te wā e whakarere ana:

Ngā mea ka kitea e ngā tamariki i muri i te wehenga

He tino mamae te pānga o te whakarere ki ngā tamariki. Ehara i te mea ka ruarua noa iho rātou i te hunga e tino whakawhirinakihia ana e rātou, engari ka whakaititia hoki rātou, ka whakama hoki. Ka tukuna e ngā tamariki te raruraru ki a rātou anō, ka puta pea i roto i ngā whanonga tino raruraru, pērā i:

Hapa
Te pouri
Ngaro tō rātou mana motuhake
Haumarutanga
moemoe
Te hara me te mea nā rātou i take
Te mauruuru
Te hoki whakamuri (te mahi rite ki te tamaiti nohinohi)

Ngā pānga o te whakarere ki ngā taiohi

He wā uaua te taiohitanga i roto i te oranga o te tangata. Hei tāpiri, mā te mātakitaki i te wehenga o ō mātua ka kino rawa atu. Tērā pea ka ngaro te hihiri o te ao i ngā taiohi, ka uru rānei ki ngā whanonga hē hei whakatau i ō rātou raruraru.

Nga take mātauranga
Ngā mahi whakahē i te hapori
Whakauru atu ki te whakaipoipo noa
Te moepuku
Kia pukuriri
He nui ake te kore kawenga
Ka taea te aro atu ki te mangere
Te raruraru tuakiri kanohi

Ki te mārama ake ngā mātua ki te pānga o te whakarere ki ā rātou tamariki, ka taea e rātou te āwhina i a rātou kia pai ake te aro atu ki te āhuatanga, kia hinga i ngā kare ā-roto kino, kia hanga tahi ai he heke mai pai mā te whakaae ki ngā huringa kua pā ki ō rātou ao.

Ngā Mea e Tika ana, Ngā Mea Kāore e Tika ana Ina Whai Wāhi Ngā Tamariki ki te Wehe

hoki	Kaua a
Whakawhitiwhiti TuwheraKo te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tuwhera te huarahi tino nui ki te mahi tahi me āu tamariki. Me pono koe ki a rātou mō ngā mea e tupu ana me te āhua o te huringa o ō rātou oranga.	Kaua e hamama: I te wā o te whakarere, ka whakaaetia koe kia pāngia e ngā āwangawanga me ngā pouri kāore pea tō tamaiti e mōhio. Kia tūpato kei tukua aua mea ki ō tamariki. Ki te pērā koe, ka whakapae pea rātou i a rātou anō mō tō mamae.
Whakautuhia ā rātou āwangawangaKo te whakatau i te whakarere me ngā tamariki ehara i te mea ko te maka kōrero noa ki ngā tamariki engari ko te tuku i a rātou ki te tukatuka. Ina whakaarahia e te tamaiti ngā āwangawanga, ngā pātai, ngā mataku rānei, ko tāu mahi hei mātua he kawenga me te whakapumau i a rātou ka pai ngā mea katoa.	Kaua e kōrero kino ki tō hoa rangatira o mua: Ko tētahi o ngā mea tino kino rawa atu mā te mātua ko te akiaki i te tamaiti kia whiriwhiri taha. Mō te whakarere me ngā tamariki, kāore e taea e koe te akiaki i tāu tamaiti kia whiriwhiri i tētahi matua, te kōrero kino rānei ki tō hoa rangatira o mua. He nui tonu ngā mea hei ako mā rātou, ā, me whakarite kia pai te whanaungatanga ki ō rātou mātua e rua.
Kia mataara tonu ki tō rātou hauora hinengaroKāore tō haerenga ki te whakatau i te whakarere me ngā tamariki e mutu. Ahakoa kua pahure te wā, kei a koe te kawenga mō te whakarite i te oranga hinengaro o tāu tamaiti. Kia tūpato ki ngā whanonga mōrearea, ki ngā āwangawanga rānei ka puta mai i te whakarere.	Kaua e wehea rātouKo te mea nui e hiahiatia ana e te tamaiti ko te aro, te manaaki me te aroha. Ahakoa kei te pāngia koe e tētahi āhuatanga mamae, kaua e waiho hei take hei wareware i tāu tamaiti. Tērā pea ka puta he raruraru whanonga ā muri ake nei. Kia tupato kei wehea noatia rātou, kei warewarehia, kei karohia rānei nā ō ake raruraru.

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.