He tūmomo mōrearea te waipiro me ngā whanonga waipiro i roto i te tangata ahakoa te pakeke me te ira tangata. Me whai kaupapa whakaora hauora tika kia tino ora ai te hunga waipiro, kia angitu ai hoki tā rātou whakaora.
Pērā i ngā raau taero katoa, he nui rawa te whakawhirinaki o te hunga inu waipiro ki te waipiro, ā, kāore e taea e rātou te whakaaro ki tō rātou oranga me te kore waipiro. He tino kino te pānga o tēnei whakawhirinakitanga nui ki ō rātou oranga mahi, oranga pāpori, me ō rātou oranga whaiaro. Ko te hunga e tino mamae ana ko ō rātou mātua me ō rātou hoa rangatira, ā, muri iho ko ā rātou tamariki, me tipu ake rātou i roto i te kitenga i tētahi mātua inu waipiro. I te nuinga o te wā, ka noho te inu waipiro hei huarahi oranga mō rātou. Ko te noho tahi me tētahi tangata inu waipiro he pūtake tonu o te ahotea.
I roto i tēnei uiuinga, ka kōrero te tohunga hinengaro Gopa Khan (Masters in Counseling Psychology, M.Ed), he tohunga ki te counseling mō te marena me te whānau) e kōrero mai ana ki a tātou te āhua o te aroha me te manaaki i tētahi tangata inu waipiro, me ngā mahi me mahi hei whakapai ake i te oranga o tētahi tangata inu waipiro me tōna whānau.
He aha te Mate Whakamahi Waipiro?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Ko te mate waipiro, ko te AUD rānei, e kiia ana ko te waipiro waipiro. Kei roto i tēnei ko te whakamahinga waipiro i roto i te wā roa tae noa ki te wā ka noho hei pokapū o tō oranga. I roto i ngā marama me ngā tau, ka uaua haere te tangata e pāngia ana e te mate waipiro ki te whakahaere, ki te whakamutu rānei i tana inu. Nō reira, ehara i te mea ngāwari te noho tahi me te tangata waipiro. Ko te hunga e whakamahi kino ana i te waipiro ka totohu ki roto i tētahi huringa tino uaua ki te wehe atu.
Ina hoki, ka kino rawa atu, ā, ka whakaaro tonu te tangata mō te inu e whai ake nei i a ia e kore e inu. Ko tōna oranga katoa ka noho hei wā ka inu anō ia. Ki te ngana ia ki te whakaiti i tana inu waipiro, ki te mutu rānei i te inu, ka tīmata ia ki te pāngia e ngā tohumate nui o te tango waipiro, tae atu ki, engari kāore i te herea ki, te mamae tinana nui, te pouri, te manukanuka, te riri, te hurihanga o te kare ā-roto, te pukuriri me ērā atu mea.
Ehara i te mea ko ngā momo inu katoa he momo waipiro. He pai te inu i konei, i reira, i tētahi huihuinga pāpori, me ngā hoa, tae atu ki te inu kotahi, e rua rānei i te wiki, mena kāore e huri hei inu nui, ka hanga he whakawhirinakitanga ka uaua ki te mawhiti i te wā roa, ka tīmata ki te pā ki ō whanaungatanga whaiaro me te mahi ngaio.
Ki te kore e taea e tō hoa te whakamutu i te inu ahakoa he nui ngā raruraru ki tōna hauora me te whānau, tera pea kua pāngia tō hoa e te mate waipiro, e te mate whakamahi waipiro rānei.
He aha te āhua o te noho hei kaitiaki matua mō tētahi tangata inu waipiro?
"He tino reinga tō rātou oranga, ki te kī atu. He kupu kei a mātou e kīia ana ko te "whakawhirinakitanga tahi" - he whakaaro kei taua tangata te ao e huri ana. I ētahi wā ka mahi anō hoki te mema o te whānau hei kaiwhakakaha," te kī a Gopa Khan.
Ko te tikanga, ko te tangata e noho tahi ana me te tangata inu waipiro te tuatahi ki te whakapā atu me te kōrero tika ki a rātou. Ka tīmata rātou ki te rongo i te nui o te hara, te pouri, ā, tera pea ka uru atu rātou ki tētahi wāhanga o te whakakorekore.
He tautohetohe tonu, ā, ka rite ki te whanaungatanga mātua-tamaiti. I mua, he kiritaki tāku, he tangata inu waipiro nui tana tāne. I aru ia i a ia, ka tiki i a ia i ngā pae inu i te 2 i te ata. He maha hoki aku kiritaki kua whakaino i roto i te whare ngā take; ko te nuinga o te wā ko te tāne e haurangi ana, e patu ana i te wahine. He maha ngā wā ka pānuihia e koe i roto i te nūpepa i werohia tetahi tangata nā te mea i haere haurangi mai tā rātou hoa rangatira, ā, i whawhai rāua.
Me pēhea te whakatau i te tangata haurangi?
E ai ki te hunga e noho tahi ana me te tangata inu waipiro, he iti noa iho ngā ātete a te tangata inu waipiro. Nō reira, ki te mea kua pouri kē ia, he nui ake te tūponotanga ka whara ia i tana hoa rangatira. Kua tae mai ētahi kiritaki ki ahau, ka mea mai, "Kāore rawa ia e whara i ahau i roto i ōna whakaaro", heoi anō, i pērā ia nā te mea kei raro ia i te mana o te waipiro.
Ko tētahi o ngā mea e tohe ana ahau ina mahi tahi ahau me ngā mema o te whānau o tētahi tangata waipiro, o tētahi rānei e whakawhirinaki ana ki te waipiro, ko te mea ka ora tonu ia, engari kaua e waiho he whakama pāpori e pā ana ki tēnā. Koinei tētahi o ngā mea tino nui hei maumahara māu i a koe e mahi tahi ana me tētahi tangata waipiro.
Ka mea atu anō ahau ki te whānau, “Kaua e amuamu, kaua e kauwhau, kaua hoki e kauwhau.”
Ko te mea ka pā ki te tangata inu waipiro ina tohe tetahi ki a ia, ka āraia e ia te whānau. Nō reira ka tīmata ia ki te oati kāore e puritia e ia. Tērā pea ka kī ia kāore ia e inu anō, ā, i muri i ngā haora e rua, ka tīmata anō ia ki te inu.
Kaua hoki e whakahaere i ā rātou whanonga, nā te mea ehara i te mea ngāwari te whakamutu i te inu waipiro me ngā raau taero. Mēnā ka whakatau te tangata inu waipiro ki te whakarērea tana whakawhirinakitanga, ka angitu te maimoatanga. Ahakoa ka whiwhi maimoatanga te tangata, ka hoki anō pea ia ki te mahi, ā, ka noho hei tangata inu waipiro e ora ana. He tino noa ngā hokinga mai. Kei te whakaaro tonu mātou he tangata inu waipiro ia e ora ana.
Te pānui e pā ana: E hiahia ana ahau ki te whakarere i taku tāne waipiro, wahine hoki
He aha ngā pānga o te waipiro ki ngā whanaungatanga piripono me ngā marena?
I te nuinga o ngā wā o te waipiro, ko te mea ka tupu ko te ka mutu te marena i te whakarere, ka wehe atu rānei te wahine i te whare i muri i te ngenge ki te mahi tahi me te tangata inu waipiro. Ko te tikanga, he wā uaua tēnei mō rāua tokorua, ā, ka uaua haere mā te hoa rangatira te whakahaere i te whare.
Tuarua, nā te mea kei te whakakahore te tangata kē, ka whakakahore rātou ki te whiwhi āwhina, ki te rongoā rānei mō tō rātou āhua. Kātahi ka puta te tutu ā-whare, ā, ko te nuinga o te wā ko te wahine te patunga.
Kua kite ahau i ngā marena e wehe ana ngā mātua o te tamaiti. Ko te nuinga o te wā, kei te wahine te whakatau mēnā e hiahia ana ia ki te haere tonu i te marena. Mēnā he marena e 20 tau te roa, tera pea ka roa mēnā e tino hiahia ana te wahine ki te haere tonu. I tua atu, i haere mai tētahi wahine ki ahau, me te kī kua mutu tana mahi ki tana tāne waipiro i muri i te 16 tau o te marena.
He kiritaki tāku, he hunga pakihi tana hungawai me tana tāne, ā, ka piki haere te whakawhirinaki o tana tāne ki te waipiro, ā, ka tino pāngia rawatia tā rāua pakihi katoa. Kātahi ka nui hoki te tūkino ā-whare i roto i taua wā.
Ko te hoa o te tangata inu waipiro, he nui rawa tōna aro ki tana hoa rangatira, ā, ka mutu, ka wareware ia ki a ia anō. Kei roto ia i te āhua pouri tonu, ā, ka pāngia e te manukanuka, te wehi me te mamae. Ko te ao o taua tangata kotahi anake te mea e aro nui ana ki a ia.
He maha ngā tamariki e whakaaro ana me tiaki e rātou ō rātou kaumātua, ā, ka whakawhirinaki tahi rātou i a rātou e ngana ana ki te aro atu ki tētahi tangata inu waipiro. Koinei ngā pānga tika o te noho tahi me tētahi tangata inu waipiro. Mō ngā mātua e uaua ana ki te mārama me pēhea te āwhina i te tamaiti waipiroMā te ako i te rerekētanga i waenga i te tautoko me te whakamana, te whakatakoto i ngā rohe hauora, me te rapu arataki ngaio ka whai hua nui mō te tamaiti me te whānau katoa.
He aha ngā whakaaro o te tangata inu waipiro mō tana tikanga whanoke?
I te wā e ngana ana koe ki te aro atu ki tētahi tangata inu waipiro, he mea nui kia mahara he nui tō rātou whakama, he nui te mamae, ā, e hiahia ana rātou kia whakangāwari i a rātou anō, ā, he rite te waipiro ki a rātou he mawhiti kia kore ai rātou e kite i te āhua o ētahi atu e karapoti ana i a rātou.
I taua wā anō, e mōhio ana rātou me mutu te inu waipiro, nō reira me uru atu rātou ki tētahi kaupapa Alcoholics Anonymous me te whai i ngā wā whakaora hinengaro i muri mai, engari ko te nuinga o rātou kei te noho pūmau ki te whakakorekore.
Ko te mea tuatahi me mahi e rātou ko te wawahi i taua wāhanga, i taua huringa rānei o te whakakahore, ka kite i te tino āhua o te ao tūturu.
He aha te take ka hoki anō ai te mate?
He maha ngā take e hoki anō ai te tangata waipiro ki te waipiro i te tuatahi. I ētahi wā ka mutu te inu waipiro, ka hoki anō ki te huarahi tika. Engari, kāore pea e taea te tiaki i a ia anō i te wā roa, ā, he nui te tūponotanga ka hoki anō rātou. tīmata te wareware i a rātou anō ka hoki anō ki te huringa taua o te waranga, ka hoki anō ki te aratau whakangaro i a koe anō.
Ko tētahi o ngā tauira e kitea ana e au i roto i aku kiritaki ko te maha o ngā wā ka tīmata rātou ki te tiaki i a rātou anō, i ā rātou whiringa rānei. Ka tīmata rātou ki te teka mō te inu waipiro, ā, he maha ngā wā ka kōrero rātou mō te whakamutu i te waipiro. Tērā pea he tohu tēnei kei te ara rātou ki te hoki anō ki te mahi kino. Nā te mea ehara te whakaoranga i te ara ngāwari, ā, he roa te wā, ka kore e manawanui.
Ko te hunga he nui ō rātou raruraru riri, ka ngāwari hoki rātou ki te inu waipiro hei whakamārama.
Ka tīmata hoki te hunga e pāngia ana e te pouri ki te inu waipiro. I ētahi wā o te pouri, kua kite ahau he tangata waipiro e ora ana, engari ka mutu ka waranga ki ngā rongoā ārai pouri, ki ngā rongoā whakamamae rānei.
Te pānui e pā ana: Te Wāhi Hurihanga: I whakatau ahau i te waranga tarukino a taku tāne mā te aroha noa ki a ia
He tuakiri whakawhirinaki kē tō rātou, engari ka waranga ki tētahi atu mea ehara i te waipiro.
He aha te mea ka tupu i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga e uru ana tētahi tangata inu waipiro?
I te nuinga o te wā, mēnā he wahine motuhake ā-pūtea, ā, he whānau tautoko rānei tōna, ka ngana tonu rātou kia angitu te marena, te whanaungatanga rānei. Ka mutu, ka noho tahi rātou me ā rātou hoa mō ētahi tau, ā, ka ngenge rawa rātou i te taha hinengaro, ā, kāore e taea te manawanui.
Kua kite ahau i ngā marena kua pakaru mō ngā tau 15, 16 rānei. Heoi anō, kei reira ngā wāhine e piripono ana ki ā rātou hoa rangatira me ā rātou tamariki, ā, i ētahi wā ka kitea te tino pai o te pāpā ki tana wahine me āna tamariki, engari ka puta he āhua hou i a ia e inu ana.
I a koe e noho tahi ana me te tangata inu waipiro, me pēhea te whakaora i a ia i tana waranga?
Ko te mea tuatahi me mahi e te tangata inu waipiro kaha ko te whakaora i a ia anō i te wā o te whakakorekore. Kua tae mai ētahi kiritaki ki ahau me te kī pono kāore he raruraru ā rātou, engari ko ō rātou whānau e kī ana, HE raruraru tā rātou.
Nō reira, he mea nui kia mārama, kia whakaae hoki te hunga inu waipiro ki tō rātou whakawhirinakitanga ki te waipiro i te tuatahi. Tuarua, ka tino taunaki atu ahau kia mutu tā rātou whakawhirinakitanga. He rite tonu ki te whakamutu i te momi hikareti.
Kei te mahi te katoa, me haere ki ngā hui, ki ngā huihuinga pāpori, ā, kei te wā tonu rātou e taea ai e rātou te whakaora i a rātou anō mā te hoki whakamuri. Ki te kore rātou e pena, he nui te tūponotanga ka ngaro ā rātou mahi.
Me wawao mai hoki tō rātou whānau, tō rātou rangatira, ō rātou hoa me te pūnaha tautoko whānui ina kite rātou i tētahi raruraru, kaua e wareware noa, e noho puku rānei nā te mea kei te pai tana mahi i te mahi.
Hei tauira, he kiritaki tōku he kairangahau tino mohio, ā, he maha ngā wā ka haurangi ia, ā, ka haria ia e ōna hoa mahi ki te kāinga. I te mutunga, e 3-4 o ngā hoa mahi i wawao i te take, ā, e 2 o rātou i tautohetohe ki te kiritaki mō te take. Kāore e taea te mahi tonu i roto i ngā wā poto mena he tangata waipiro koe. Ka tīmata te kitea i te wāhi mahi.
Ko tētahi atu mea e tohe ana ahau kia mahia e aku kiritaki mā rātou anō ko te tiaki i a rātou anō. Me mahi rātou i te whakaaroaro me te yoga, me te pupuri hoki i a rātou anō ki te mahi, nā te mea ko te tiaki i a koe anō te mea e āwhina ana hei whakaiti i te ahotea. Ka taea hoki e rātou te whakauru atu ki ngā rōpū āwhina i a rātou anō. He mea tino āwhina tēnā.
Kāore i te tokomaha te hunga e mōhio ana he hoha, he ahotea hoki te noho tahi me te tangata inu waipiro. Engari i te aro atu ki te ahotea i runga i te aroha me te ngākau aroha, he pai ake te whai i te whakaoranga hei painga mō te tangata i pāngia me tōna whānau.
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Ehara i te rautaki pai te ngana ki te pupuri i tō hoa "harikoa" i a rātou e riri ana. Ko tō hiahia kia ora rātou, kaua e noho pōturi mō te wā poto. He mea pai te aroha mutunga kore, engari ki te whakatutuki koe i ō rātou hiahia mā te hoko waipiro, mā te kore rānei e aro ki te raruraru e pā ana ki a rātou, kāore koe e āwhina ana i a rātou kia pai ake.
He maha ngā wā ka pāngia ngā whānau e te mate inu waipiro a te whanaunga. Mā te inu nui o te waipiro a tētahi mema o te whānau ka taea te whakangaro i ngā kaupapa matua o te whānau, ka puta ake ngā kare ā-roto o te whakama, te hara, te riri, te wehi, te pouri me te mokemoke.
Ka taea e te waranga waipiro te horomia te tangata, ka ngaro i a rātou ō rātou kawenga whānau. He maha ngā wā ka tangohia e ngā hoa rangatira te wā okiokinga, ka pāngia e ngā pānga hinengaro, tae atu ki te manukanuka me te pouri, o te noho tahi me tētahi e waranga ana ki te waipiro.
Ko te hunga e raru ana ki te mate waipiro, ka ngana pea rātou ki te huna i ō rātou āhua, ka whakapono rānei rātou ko ngā pānga kino o tō rātou raruraru ka pā kino noa iho ki a rātou. Heoi, he maha ngā wā ka huri te waranga ki ngā whanonga, ka tūpono te tangata ki ngā raruraru pūtea me ngā raruraru ture, ā, ka arahi ki te ngaronga o te mahara, ki te uauatanga hinengaro rānei – ka pā kino katoa ēnei ki te hunga e aroha ana ki te waipiro, pērā i ngā mātua, ngā tuākana, ngā teina, ngā hoa, ngā tamariki, me ngā hoa rangatira.
Kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te whakatau i tētahi whaea haurangi i ngā hararei, me pēhea rānei te āwhina i a ia? Kua kōrero mai ētahi hoa ki a koe he kaiwhakakaha koe mō tō hoa rangatira? Kei te kite koe kei te mamae koe i ngā hua o te raruraru waipiro a tō hoa aroha? He uaua ki te rongo me huri koe i a koe anō ina noho ana tō hoa aroha me te waipiro. Nā te mea, ko tā rātou raruraru tēnā, kāore? Engari, ko koe anake ka taea te huri i a koe anō, ā, ko te huarahi anake e taea ai e koe te whakakore me te huri i te huarahi o nāianei o ō taunekeneke me te hunga whai mate pāwera matū ko te huri i ō tauhohenga.