7 Ngā Mea Hira Hei Mōhio Mō Te Whakaipoipo I Te Wā Wehe

He uaua te mahi whakaipoipo katoa. Whakaarohia te uaua o ngā mea mena kei te whakaaro koe ki te whakaipoipo i a koe e wehe ana i tō hoa rangatira engari kāore anō kia whakarerea. Ahakoa te whakaae tahi me te whakaaro tahi o te wehenga, ka noho tonu ngā kare ā-roto me te riri ki tō hoa rangatira o mua, me te ritenga kē. 

Kia oti rā anō te whakarere, kāore e taea e ēnei kare ā-roto kino te aukati i a koe ki te hanga hononga pakari ki tētahi hoa aroha, engari he pānga ture anō hoki. Koia te mea nui kia kitea mēnā ka taea e koe te whakaipoipo i tētahi me te kore e wehea turetia. Mā te āwhina a te rōia a Siddhartha Mishra (BA, LLB), he rōia e mahi ana i te Kōti Hupirimi o Īnia, ka akohia e tātou ngā mea katoa e pā ana ki te whakaipoipo i te wā e marena ana.

E mea ana ia, "Ka taea e te tangata te whakaipoipo i tētahi atu i muri i te wehenga o tētahi i tana hoa rangatira. Ko te whakaipoipo i mua i te wehenga kāore i te ture, i te hē rānei, mena kāore ngā hoa e rua e noho tahi ana i raro i te tuanui kotahi." Heoi, he pai ake te karo i te whakaipoipo i te wā o te wehenga whakawakanga, i mua hoki i te wehenga ture mena kei te noho koe i tētahi kawanatanga ka taea te whakataurite i a koe i roto i tētahi pakanga kooti. Tekau mā whitu noa iho ngā kawanatanga o Amerika he "kore-hara". Ko te wehenga kore-hara ko te whakakorenga o tētahi marena kāore e hiahiatia he taunakitanga mō te hara e tētahi o ngā taha. 

Ka taea e koe te whakaipoipo i a koe e wehe ana i tō hoa rangatira?

He tukanga tino uaua te whakarere i te hinengaro me te tinana. E kore e taea e te nuinga o te tangata te tatari kia oti te whakarere kia taea ai e rātou te haere tonu me ō rātou oranga. Ka tīmata ētahi i tētahi hononga hou i mua i te hainatanga o tā rātou whakaaetanga wehenga whaimana nā te mea he roa rawa te tukanga whakarere, he tūtaki noa rānei rātou ki tētahi tangata hou, ā, kāore e hiahia kia ngaro. Engari, e kiia ana he tinihanga mēnā kua wehea koe, ā, kāore anō kia whakarerea?

Ka whakahoki a Siddhartha , "Kāo, ehara i te tinihanga nā te mea kua wehe kē kōrua, ā, e noho ana i raro i ngā tuanui motuhake. Inaa, he maha ngā tāngata e whiriwhiri ana ki te tīmata anō ki te whakaipoipo i tētahi wā i roto i tō rāua wehenga, i mua hoki i te whakaurunga o te ture whakarere whakamutunga. Heoi, ki te noho tonu ngā hoa tokorua i te whare kotahi engari he rerekē ō rāua rūma moe, ā, kotahi anake te hoa e whakaaro ana ki te whakarere, ka taea te kī he tinihanga."

Ahakoa ngā ture o tēnei mea, me pātai anō hoki koe ki a koe anō, "Kua rite koe ki te whakaipoipo?" Ka taea e koe te whakaipoipo mēnā kei te tata whakarere kōrua mēnā:

• Kua wareware rawa koe ki tō hoa, ā, kāore he hononga ki a ia
• Kāore rawa ō hiahia ki te houhia te rongo ki a rātou
• Kua tirohia e koe ngā painga me ngā huakore o tēnei wehenga tuturu
• E mōhio ana koe ki ngā mea katoa mō te tautoko tamariki me te wehewehenga taonga
• Kāore koe e whakaipoipo ana hei wareware i a rātou, hei whakakī i te āputa i roto i a koe, hei mea rānei i a rātou kia hae

Pānui e pā ana: 18 Ngā Tohu Ngāwari Kua Mutu Tō Hononga Moe

Ngā Momo Wehenga 

E mea ana a Siddhartha, "He mea nui kia mōhio ko te kupu wehe he kupu ture i te tirohanga a te ture. Ko te wehenga e pā ana ki te tūnga whanaungatanga ka puta mai i te mahi tahi me te pūnaha kōti. Me tuku tono koe ki te kōti, ka haere ki mua i te kaiwhakawā kia wehea turetia ai koe." I mua i tō tīmatanga ki te whakaipoipo i a koe e wehe ana, me mōhio koe e toru ngā momo wehenga, ā, ka rerekē te pānga o ia momo ki tō oranga. 

1. Wehenga whakamātautau, wehenga koretake rānei

Ko te wehenga whakamātautau he wā e ahua ana kei te pāngia kōrua ko tō hoa e te maha o ngā raruraru, ā, e whakaaro ana ki te whai wā okioki hei whakatau i te mea pai mō kōrua me tō kōrua marena. I tēnei wā, ka tīmata kōrua ki te noho i raro i ngā tuanui motuhake, ka whakaaroaro anō hoki ki te whanaungatanga. Nō reira, ka taea e kōrua te whiriwhiri i ngā mahi whakaora a ngā tāne me ngā wāhine hei whakaoti i ō kōrua raruraru, ka mōhio rānei kāore e taea e kōrua te whakaoti i te raruraru, ka whiriwhiri ki te whakarere. Mena kei roto kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira i tēnei wā, he pai ake te aro atu ki ētahi take:

• Me pēhea te whakahaere i ngā pūtea
• Te noho matua tahi
• Ko wai ka noho ki te kāinga o te whānau
• Ngā tikanga o te wehenga pēnei i te mea ka whakaaetia koe ki te whakaipoipo i ētahi atu tāngata i tēnei wā 

2. Te wehenga tuturu

Mena kei te noho wehe kē kōrua i tō hoa rangatira, ā, kāore he whakaaro ki te hoki tahi, ko taua wāhanga e mōhiotia ana ko te wehenga tuturu. I mua i tō taenga ki tēnei wāhanga, me kōrero koe ki ngā rōia whakarere, me te rapu mōhiohio mō te wehewehenga o ngā rawa, te tiritiri i ngā rawa, te tautoko tamariki, me ērā atu mea. 

3. Wehenga Ture

He rerekē te wehenga ture i te whakarere ture i tō hoa rangatira. Kāore hoki i rite ki te whakarere. Ko te rerekētanga i konei, ki te mea kei te whakaipoipo koe i a koe e wehe ture ana, kāore e taea e koe te marena i taua tangata. Ka taea anake te marena i a rātou mēnā kua whakarerea e koe tō hoa rangatira. Engari ko te whakatau a te kooti e whakaae ana ki te tautoko tamariki, te wehewehenga taonga, me te tautoko tamariki he rite katoa ki te whakarere. 

Pānui e pā ana: He aha te whakarere, ā, he aha te take e whakarere ai te tangata?

7 Ngā Mea Hira Hei Mōhio Mō Te Whakaipoipo I Te Wā Wehe

I a ia e kōrero ana mō ngā hua ture me te whakautu i te pātai, ka taea e koe te whakaipoipo i a koe e wehe ana, e kī ana a Siddhartha, "Ahakoa ka arahi tō wehenga ki te whakarere, he tūponotanga anō tō te whakaipoipo i a koe e wehe ana, i mua i te whakarere. Mēnā kāore he wehenga ture, kei te marena ture tonu kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira, ā, ka puta pea ētahi tūponotanga i te whakaipoipo i a koe e marena ana." He aha ēnei tūponotanga? Kimihia i raro nei ngā mea me mōhio koe mō te whakaipoipo i a koe e wehe ana. 

1. Ka taea e tō hoa rangatira te whakawakia koe mō te whakarērea o te aroha 

Ae, ka taea e tō hoa rangatira te whakawakia koe mō te wawahi i tētahi marena nā te mea kua wehea te aroha. I ētahi whenua, he hara tēnei. Ko te wehea te aroha ko te mahi pokanoa ki tētahi whanaungatanga i waenga i te tāne me te wahine. Ka mahia tēnei e tētahi atu rōpū, kāore he take. He kereme hara ā-ture tēnei, e tukuna ana ki ngā hoa aroha tuatoru, e kawea ana e tētahi hoa rangatira kua wehea nā ngā mahi a tētahi atu rōpū.

E kī ana a Siddhartha, "Ka taea e tō hoa rangatira te whakawakia te tangata e piri tahi ana koe mō te wehe atu i te aroha, te whakapae rānei i a koe mō te puremu, ā, ka whakamahia hei pūtake mō te whakarere. Ka taea hoki e rātou te whakamahi i tēnei hei huarahi ki te tango i te tautoko tamariki mai i a koe. Ka taea hoki e te piri tahi i a koe e marena ana te awe i ngā whakataunga take tiaki tamariki. Mena kei te haere te whakarere me te kore whakaae a tetahi hoa, he kawa rānei te hoa, ā, e hiahia ana kia kite i a koe e mamae ana, ka taea e rātou te tono kia tiakina katoatia te tamaiti."

2. Me pumau tō pūtea 

I roto i tētahi tukanga wehenga ture, whakarere rānei, tera pea ka kitea e koe kei te tere rawa atu te moni e pau ana i a koe i tōu kaha ki te utu. Ka nui te ahotea o tēnei, nā te mea he nui te wā e pau ana i a koe ki te whakaaro ki ngā pūkete peeke, ki ngā whakahokinga taake, me ō moni whiwhi me ō pire ia marama. Kei a koe te manawa ki te whakaipoipo i waenganui i ēnei mea katoa? Ā, ka taea e tō whakatau ki te whakaipoipo te pā ki te putanga o tō whakarere, ka waiho koe ki roto i te raruraru pūtea nui atu?

Ka tāpiri atu a Siddhartha, "Ka taea e te whakaipoipo te noho hei take i roto i ngā take tautoko tamariki me te tautoko moni i ētahi whenua. Ka arotakehia e te kooti te moni whiwhi me ngā whakapaunga o ia hoa rangatira mō te tautoko tamariki me te tautoko hoa rangatira. Ka pātai pea te kaiwhakawā i tō hiahia aroha me tō hoa hou kia kitea ai mēnā ka pā ki a koe i te taha pūtea." 

3. Kaua e huna tetahi mea i tō hoa hou 

Kaua rawa ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e whakarere ana e huna i tetahi mea mai i ō rātou hoa hou. He tino hoha kē te whakarere. Mā te whai hoa aroha kāore e mōhio ki tō whakarere ka nui ake te uaua o te take. Kaua e teka ki a koe anō, ki tō hoa rangatira, ki tō hoa hou hoki, inā koa kei te noho koe i te kāinga o tō hoa hou. 

Mena he tamariki āu, ā, kua whakatau koe ki te mātua tahi , he mea nui rawa atu kia mōhio tō hoa hou ki a koe. Ki te kore, ka pā kino pea ki a rātou. He mea whakaaro nui kia tīmata te whakaipoipo i tētahi tangata hou me te mārama me te kawenga. Mā tēnei ka āwhina i a rātou kia mārama ake ki tō āhuatanga i runga i te aroha.

4. Whakaarohia anō te whanaungatanga ā-tinana ki tō hoa rangatira o mua

E kī ana a Siddhartha, "Tērā pea ngā raruraru ā-ira me whakaaroaro i mua i te haere whakamua ki te whakaipoipo i tētahi i a kōrua e wehe ana. Me whai whakaaro koe mēnā kei te moe tonu kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira. Ka tūtaki tonu ētahi tāngata i ēnei wā wehe. Ahakoa kāore kōrua e kite tetahi i tetahi, tera pea kei a kōrua tonu ngā mahere ki te ngana ki te hoki tahi , kei te āhua o ngā mea. I te mōhio ki tēnei, kāore pea i te pai te tīmata ki te moe tahi me ētahi atu tāngata."

Mena he hononga moepuku kei waenganui i a kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira, ehara i te mea uaua ki te kite me pēhea te uaua o ngā mea ki tō hoa hou, ki te kore te katoa e mōhio ki te aha, ā, e whakaae ana ki te āhua o te āhuatanga. Ahakoa i taua wā, ina uru ngā kare ā-roto ki roto i te ranunga, ka tino uaua ngā āhuatanga. Kāore tēnei e pā ki te putanga o tō whakarere, engari ki tō whanaungatanga hou hoki. 

Pānui e pā ana: Tohutohu a te Tohunga – Āhea me mutu te marena

5. Ngā mea hei mōhio māu mō te whakaipoipo i te wā e wehe ana koe — Me ora tō wairua 

E kī ana a Siddhartha, "He pai ake mēnā ka whakaaroaro koe mēnā kei te tino pumau ō kare ā-roto ki te whakaipoipo i tētahi atu i tēnei wā. Mā te wehenga atu i tō hoa rangatira, i tō hoa rangatira rānei, ka raru pea koe i tētahi āhua kare ā-roto rerekē. Tērā pea ka tino manukanuka, ka mataku rānei koe mō ngā mea e pā ana. Ka noho pōuri ētahi tāngata i roto i ēnei āhuatanga. Ahakoa pēhea, kāore pea koe e tino pai ina pāngia koe e tētahi wehenga uaua."

Nō reira, ki te mea kei te pātai koe, "Ka taea e au te whakaipoipo i a au e wehe ana i mua i te wehenga?", ko te whakautu, āe, ki te mea kua ora koe i te pouri i muri i te wehenga , ā, kāore koe e whakamahi i tēnei whakaipoipo hei whakangāwari i ō kare ā-roto. Ki te mea he tamariki āu, he mea nui kia whakaarohia mēnā kei te pai rātou ki a koe kia whakaipoipo i a koe e wehe ana i tō hoa rangatira. Heoi anō, he mea mamae hoki tēnei mō rātou. Ko te whakaipoipo i a koe e marena ana engari e wehe ana, e kore e kiia he puremu, engari tera pea ka pouri ō tamariki i muri i te kitenga kua neke atu ō rātou mātua, ā, kāore he tūponotanga ki te houhanga rongo.

6. Ārai i te haputanga 

He tino raruraru te haputanga i a koe e wehe ana. Mēnā ka hapu koe, ka whakamutua pea e te kooti te whakarere kia whānau rā anō te pēpi. Me whakaatu e te tangata e whānau ana te tamaiti ehara tana hoa rangatira i te matua o te tamaiti kāore anō kia whānau. Ka uaua ake pea tēnei āhuatanga uaua, nā te mea ka whakaurua ngā whakamātautau DNA me ngā pātai mō te matua tāne ki roto. Ahakoa kei te moe tāne koe i a koe e wehe ana, kia tino tupato, me te mahi i te moe haumaru i ngā wā katoa. 

7. Whakaritea āu tamariki mō tēnei huringa nui

Mena kei reira tetahi e pāngia ana e tō whakarere, pērā i a koe, ki te kore e nui ake, ko tāu tamaiti/tamariki. Ka huri ō rātou oranga ake ake, ā, mō rātou, he mea whakamataku pea tēnei. Ina uru mai he hoa hou ki te whārite, ka taea e ia te whakanui ake i te āwangawanga o āu tamariki. Ahakoa ka whakatau koe ki te whakaipoipo, kia mau tonu tō whanaungatanga ki te mea kāore koe i te tino mōhio mō tō heke mai me tō hoa hou, ā, kia oti rā anō te whakarere.

Ki te kore e taea, mō tētahi take, kōrero atu ki a rātou me te pono, me te whakamanawa atu kāore tēnei e whakarerekē i tō tūranga, i tō tūranga rānei i roto i ō rātou oranga. Hei tauira, ki te noho koe i te kāinga o tō hoa hou, he pai ake te pātai atu mēnā kei te hiahia rātou ki te noho ki a koe, ki tō rātou kāinga tawhito rānei. 

Ngā Mea e Tika ana, Ngā Mea Kāore e Tika ana mō te Whakaipoipo i te Wā e Wehe Ana, Engari Kāore i Wehea

Nāu te whakatau ki te whakaipoipo i mua i te wehenga. Ki te whakatau koe ki te whai i taua ara, he mea nui kia ata whakahaere i tēnei āhuatanga. Anei ētahi mea hei mahi, ētahi mea kāore e tika ana mō te whakaipoipo i te wā e wehe ana:

Ehara i te mea ngāwari te whakarere mō te hunga katoa e pā ana ki tēnei mea, ahakoa kei te whakamutua e kōrua tētahi marena kino, ā, ka taea te whakararu i te hauora hinengaro o te tangata. Me tino rite koe. He pai ake te karo i te whakaipoipo kia wehea rā anō kōrua e te ture, ā, kia whakarerea hoki ō kōrua kare ā-roto. Heoi, ki te mea kei te tino rite koe ki te whakaipoipo anō, ā, kāore koe e hiahia ki te whakaroa i tō oranga, me haere tonu engari kia tino mohio koe kāore koe e whakatau i tēnei me te kore e whai whakaaro ki ngā hua katoa ka puta.

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Te Hiranga o te Tukunga i te Tangata kia Haere

Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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